 Hey, hey, hey, I'm so glad you guys joined me today. Thank you for being here. I'm Angela Brown and today I am here with star Hanson now. I'm gonna tell you something about star She's known as the clutter whisperer and we're gonna talk about clutter today But today we have a really interesting topic for you And the reason we're bringing it to you is because in 2023 star came on our show and she blew you guys away You guys were we're watching her as one of our most watched YouTube videos of last year And I am super excited to have her back again at the top of this year so that we can unclutter some really important stuff And it's a topic. We've never talked about before. What a topic. We've never talked about before. It's true It's called indications and what are indications? Well, the indications are right now in 2023 my husband lost his father and The indications are that in the next few years His mother will also decline in health and will need extra care So that is an indication the indication is I'm not getting any younger every day I will get older so that is an indication But as my life gets busier The indication is that I'm gonna have more responsibilities caring for elder parents and then also there's an indication of my business So in my business since the pandemic we've gone global We're in 31 37 countries and 191 languages And so we have been super busy and coming on the horizon My speaking engagements have picked up and I'm traveling a whole lot more than I once was so the Indication is I'm not gonna have time to clean and declutter like I once did now as I'm talking to star right before We begin her speaking engagements are picking up and as she travels around the world There's an indication that her schedule is gonna be even busier than it is today. Okay, those are Indications so I want you guys to take a look at your personal lives and say what are the indications in my life? All right, am I getting older? Am I gonna be taking care of elder parents or my kids moving out of the house? Am I gonna be empty nested? Are we gonna need to move this here because of job situations like what are the Indications because we don't have to wait until life smacks us upside the head and then we go whoa I'm gonna have to like declutter and move right I Know that in 2024 my husband and I are gonna move and we've decided to move for this reason The indications Suggest that I'm not gonna be able to stay at home and manage and take care of a 6,000 square foot house And I've loved living here and I've really enjoyed it what we're gonna downsize We're gonna get something about half the size so that I can then focus on my business and my traveling and elder parents and the Things that are Indicating that they're on the horizon. Okay, so as I'm going through those things I brought star back to help me. Okay, so this is like a free session here with star and we're gonna tag team this So my specialty is in cleaning and her specialty is in cluttering and organizing And so as we talk about the nuances of moving that's today kind of the specific topic that we're gonna talk about today I've written a book called the ultimate guide to move in move out cleaning and Star has written a book star hold up your book there It's called why and the fiddle sticks am I still not organized and I think that's what the F stands for it does little sticks 100% There you go So we're gonna talk about different rooms of a house and I want you to jump in here in the comments And I want you to ask questions and if they are pertaining to today's topic We will answer them here. We already have a couple of lovely questions that have come in about house cleaning and Charging different prices for your cleaning business and types of vacuums to use and that kind of thing That's part of the savvy cleaner stuff And I will answer those in the questions after this is over But today we're gonna talk about indications and then how do we manage those from a decluttering? Organizing and then cleaning standpoint. Is that fair? awesome Okay, cool. So before I say hi to star is I'm hi I see you star But I want to say hi to all of you guys that have jumped in and are joining us today So I want to say hello to Nash says how are you? I wanted to ask what is the best vacuum cleaner? I will get to that in the comments Adelia says I would love to learn charging rate for house cleaning We will talk about that as much as well prudent says great to see you both. It's been a difficult day I don't know what that means, but I really hope that your day gets better I'm here joining you with pneumonia and so from me to you I hope that you don't have what I have because it's nasty, and I'm hoping you don't catch it through the way Katia says hello from Texas. Oh, hello. It's good to see you. Adelia says yes It's been hard when you see so much clutter and what can you do if they're not paying you to declutter? Yes, it is okay $50 per hour based on where you are and so I don't know where you are But but that's a good starting rate for for cleaning Tammy says Tanya Vacelle Lopez hi so hi Tammy good to see you Daisy is sweetest says hello. Can you recommend a spin scrubber for the shower bathtub? And it goes on to say the one that I reviewed on on Amazon is four years old So yes, I will answer that in the in the comments below. There are lots of good spin scrubbers on the market though I love them and then Maggie says companion hooks. Yes And Maggie says Sedalia cleaner organizer is necessary. Okay. Awesome. So yes, you guys I'm so glad that you have jumped in and you're joining us today again Please ask your questions so that we can get them answered, but I want to start out by talking about And and I want to talk about the the organizing and the moving But I want to jump in real quick and say hi to star and have start introduce yourself real quick And then tell us how she wrote this amazing book. So start you're on it's so great to be back here with all of you Thank you so much Angela for having me and hello to everybody again. It's so great to connect I am a certified professional Organizer and clutter whisper and my job is to go into your home and help you figure out why the Frickity frack the clutter won't go away. So when I started my business I was a generalist just like a lot of you might be in your you know in your profession And I organized everything and I learned really quickly that the reason why most people are Disorganized has nothing to do with boxes and labels and bins or even not knowing how to organize That's a pretty simple, you know process to learn as Angela teaches you all how to clean It's you know, pretty simple simple to learn But there's something deeper going on And so I help people look at the different rooms of their home and the contents of their clutter and figure out Why clutter won't go away? And I'm so excited about our conversation today because we get to delve into those different rooms in Preparation and I feel like there's nothing like a move to make you need to get organized because you don't want to waste money And time moving stuff you want to get rid of and makes the move less expensive and all of that But it puts this intense pressure on us when we move and it creates this Internal chaos that can be really overwhelming. So I'm really excited to chat with you about this today Angela Well, thank you. And I agree with you 100 percent. There's a lot of unnecessary stress when Suddenly you're like, oh, we got a move and it's got to be fast Now we don't have to move and it doesn't have to be fast No one is making us move and we did not buy a new house yet and we did not sell our old house Okay, so the pressure I removed the pressure, but I said it will happen in 2024 I promise you that so if that is the case what needs to happen So we decided first for first upfront that we're gonna downsize into a house That's about half the size which technically means about half my stuff needs to go away And so if you're getting rid of half your stuff first question is where do you start? Oh Is that for me? Oh, okay. I love it. I was like waiting. I was like tell me more Tell me more. So where do you start when you're getting rid of half your stuff? so this is a question I love to ask in my Chaosti-com community and with my private clients when we start to organize I say to them What percentage of items would you need to get rid of in order to feel like the house was at a state that you would feel comfortable with? And then they list their numbers and you know, oh, I for your experience 50% Which means that for every five items you keep you have to get rid of five I find that the more we can bring it to a pragmatic practical number the easier it is because It feels overwhelming when we look at our stuff the process of organizing and decluttering specifically is really really stressful so I want to take you to some questions that I like to have people ask themselves for every single room in their home because this becomes your blueprint and Anytime I'm organizing with someone and this is such an important thing when you're moving is You want to map out the rooms that you are going to have in the next house because that may be different than your current house You may be upgrading to a bigger house or drawing downgrading to a smaller house and for each room You want to write these, you know the answers to the following questions. What are the three to five activities? You want to do in the space? How do you want the space to look and how do you want the space to feel and that becomes your blueprint for every single room In the house and if your viewers and listeners want to download a PDF for this They can get one with those questions at organizing is easy calm because it is easy I will make it easy for you but you want to answer those three questions and then what I like to do is when you're organizing and decluttering that room hang those You know answers up on the wall and when you sit there and you think okay great I'm looking at my guest bedroom and right now it contains my craft area, but guess what I don't have a You know a guest room or a craft area in the next house So does that mean you get rid of all of those things? Does it mean that then you start to see the living room as this one of its functions as a Guest area or a craft area you have to start strategizing and so the best thing you can do is Do exactly what you're doing, which is make a game plan before you touch a box People try to organize too quickly too early. They don't strategize first They don't get aligned and connected with their values before they take action and that leads us into that Crazy making clutter spin out where we're just like sitting there with 500 boxes around us crying while eating a pint of ice cream I don't want you to be in that state You know I want you to like set the intention and then mindfully intentionally move through each room of the house Well, I love what you just said because intention was my my at the front of my mind So I said if I'm gonna move out of my house Chances are I'm gonna put my house on the market to sell it and there's probably gonna be a window because I think we're gonna move to new Construction and if it's new construction and like I said, we haven't bought the house yet If we're buying new construction right now, and then they build a home It will be about a year before we're able to move in So if that's the case and I sell my home right now What that means is I'm gonna live in an apartment somewhere for about a year And so what does me moving from a six thousand square foot house to an apartment look like and so not just Downsizing into a smaller home, but if I'm on the road and I'm traveling and whatever can I live with less? And that was my first Intentional question that I asked myself and my answer was and I hate to say this I hate to say in front of all of you guys I don't know. I really don't know so I said what if I could so here's the first step I did I went and I rented a storage unit and you guys have heard me talking about the storage unit It's like don't do it, you know, don't do it unless you have to but I did for this reason I know that I want to keep my full set of silverware and my dishes because it will feed like 12 people and we have family That comes over on a regular basis But are they gonna come over between now and the time I sell my house which I'm thinking is gonna be in the next few weeks No, no if we have to meet somewhere we'll meet at a restaurant So I I went through like my silverware drawer and I took out all but four of my spoons four of my forks Four of my knives four of all of my sets of dishes and then I put everything else in the storage unit And so what I did was like wow my my cupboards are starting to look skinny And I kind of started to panic because my comfort zone is having cupboards full of stuff, right? That is my comfort zone and in my home I have a place for everything and everything is in its place So it's not like it was like taken over my home It was literally like I opened my cupboards and my cupboards are now bare and I was like whoa And kind of like what what happens next so tell me when you start to declutter and you start to go Through that process and you have those little like whoa moments. How do you deal with that and then make that your new norm? So there are so many things that our physical stuff does for us One of the things is security, right? It makes us feel abundant and like our needs are met and sometimes when we don't have that we go and our brain Triggers to the scarcity mindset. I'm not gonna have my needs that I'm not gonna be okay, which of course makes us do What we pull everything closer. I need to keep more. I'm not ready to get rid of it And so one of the big Foundations of my approach with people is I help them figure out How are you using your clutter? How are you using your physical stuff? And when I say clutter, I just mean stuff clutter is a judgment we put on it But it's just stuff so most people use their clutter for a communication either with themselves or others creativity protection security or connection and When you really start to identify How you use your clutter and where those invisible trauma points are Right because a lot of times the attachment we have with our stuff is founded in trauma. It's founded in pain It's founded in scarcity or lack or uncertainty or you know fear and so we have to really start naming What's going on behind the scenes and so it's you know for every disorganized mess that's out there, right? Like there's a story behind it and the more that we acknowledge the story and the more that we really just say Exactly what you're doing. I'm feeling panic like just saying that out loud to yourself saying that to us today Thank you for doing that saying it to your partner or to your kids or whoever But just really saying like I'm feeling panic. You don't even have to get into why you can if you want to But we are so used to shoving our emotions down We are so used to shoving it down and a move when you look at what a move is it is up there on the scale of death Divorce it's a big deal you're redefining your life And it's no small thing so we want to make space for you to have those emotions Which is why I love that you're not forcing yourself to do this quickly because when we compress that time period of the move You miss out on all the beautiful juicy feelings that are coming up Which is really just your little wound itself asking for love like hey Do you still remember that I'm here? Are you gonna still take care of me? And that's one of the beautiful healing joys of organizing and moving and decluttering one of the things I noticed as I went through my silverware drawer is While I only have like four of everything in there. It was easy to clean So I took everything out and I went ahead and I cleaned the drawer and I put everything back So I've got four sets of everything and then the drawer right next to it has all the things like the Spatulas and the egg beaters and all that stuff and you know We all have one of those fun drawers and I asked myself am I gonna be baking in the next three weeks? And I really narrowed it down to three weeks because within about three weeks I'll probably start the staging process of the home in order to sell it So if that's the case, am I gonna be baking in the next three weeks? I'm like, let me see no I'm gonna be super busy. No Okay, so is that okay to pack up and then put in the storage unit? And is there anything in this drawer that I'm probably not gonna ever use again? So now I have two places. I'm taking stuff. I have stuff I'm taking for donation and stuff that I'm taking to the storage unit And I'm asking myself the question. Yes, this is good and I still want it But I haven't used it in a while and if I move it to the storage unit That has to be one of the five things I'm keeping if I'm I'm getting rid of five things I and I'm keeping five things right and so ask myself if I'm moving to a place That's half the size is this one of the things I want to take and it's getting easier and easier the more I do it to say donate donate donate but My question then for you is as I'm going through all the cupboards Is it easier than since I'm kind of in momentum to go ahead and keep going through everything at once? Yeah, it's funny the timing of this conversation is so great I had a client this week who is moving and they had me come in to help them prep for staging and we only had a couple of Hours and we had to take a pantry that was overflowing and make it photo worthy for the staging photos And this was a busy house. They have family. They've got you know neighbors kids popping in and out It's a very healthy active joyful home, which is beautiful, but yes all the questions you're asking I asked this family. Okay, great So we have a few different things to think about one what needs to be visible When we take the pictures and when the staging is occurring and people are walking through your home What needs to be left for that experience? What do we need to leave for you to use? What do you need at the next house? And yes, what do you want to donate? And we did like this whirlwind session in a half day of like reclaiming this pantry. It looked beautiful It was it was so gorgeous but there is like we really have to switch our thinking and Kind of narrow our focus down because the truth is clutter is a whole people when people have whole home clutter It's overwhelming But so is a move a move has a million moving parts and it's easy to get paralyzed and feel stuck and stressed And so the smaller we can make it the better the more Minute these little tiny bite chunks that you can take are the better. It's gonna feel the easier It's going to be so yes asking yourself. Okay, great Do I know that I'm moving into This house this next house What can I what do I need to have with me and what can be like? What do I need to have left to be visible and what can I put away for later? And of course then there's stuff that goes away outside of those two things But we really have to start focusing in a little bit tighter And what's interesting to me is when I've done this with people when we move things to a storage unit because I do like doing This when people are moving it helps you feel like you can breathe You learn that you don't need as much as you think you do we fill the spaces we have and so you might Prepare yourself mentally for a purge on this side But a second purge on the other side as you unpack and you realize I actually didn't miss this Yeah, and the less stuff we have as you're experiencing as people pass away in your family It's it's less to have to deal with later. It's less to have to manage. It's less of a burden on our loved ones after we go It's less of a burden on ourselves when we're cleaning. So, you know, but it's I want to say as an organizer It is okay to do this in waves It's okay to do a version now that is a good enough version And then you can do another version when you're unpacking and then do one six months later It does that this idea that we have to be one and done is 1,000% not healthy or true and so really embracing the layers of this journey for yourself One of the things that I uncovered as I started packing my silverware box Was I had this kitchen box that I was going to put my intention was to put it inside the storage unit But it wasn't quite full and so I said if this is a kitchen box There are probably a couple of other things from the kitchen that I want to keep that I could put inside this box So I opened the next cupboard and I started putting stuff in that box so that it would then be full and then my donation box wasn't quite full There are probably a few other things I could put in there and lo and behold before you know I had unpacked most of my cupboards now Here's the cleaning side of me stepping in from the cleaning side of me I have a philosophy and it goes like this. I'm not coming back What that means is once I clean out this cupboard. I'm not coming back to do a deep clean So we talk about deep clean and that's where the ultimate guide to move and move out cleaning comes from Okay, once you unclutter that drawer Wipe it out and clean it as a deep clean so that you close it and it's done And now whether you're taking pictures whether you're showing the house or whether you're moving It's done We don't now have to pay a professional cleaner to come in and clean out those drawers and and do one by one Because as I'm emptying that I'm wiping it down and I'm cleaning it and now it's done. So I've decluttered it I've organized my boxes and I've done the cleaning all in one step. Oh my goodness. I didn't clean the whole house It wasn't overwhelming. I didn't declutter the whole house. That wasn't overwhelming I did it in one little bite-sized chunk and then when I was done It was organized decluttered and I knew whether it was going to donation or the storage unit and it was clean Whoa, that was so easy Love it. Yes, you know, it's like so when so when I talk about my 10 steps for getting and staying organized Which are which are in my little my little book too So one of the most important steps is cleaning like people don't think that cleaning is a part of organizing They think of it as secondary. It's not it's the exact same process So when you're organizing you're pulling things out you're making sense You're categorizing you're tracking things and then you clean the space that they came out of right You clean that space or you do renovations if you're going to do renovations, whatever you're going to do And then you put things back in that's when you set up your systems And then you beautify it like how do you make it beautiful and feel like it's an expression of you and then you Celebrate that you just did something amazing and we really want to integrate that into the process like For sure. It's not like i'm going to organize and then I clean it's i'm going to clean as I organize because Everything is already out. Why would I put everything back in fresh and pretty into a dirty space? I would actually clean it and then put things back in and what I love about what you're sharing angela And I think it's going to match up with a lot of the comments that i'm seeing Is we have this feeling with clutter? That we are behind that there's so much to do And if I say go slow, you're going to have a panic attack because it's like no you have no idea start Everything that I need to get done. I am five years behind my whole house of I have a deadline I have a practical deadline emotional deadline. No, but how did you know? It's what I do my friend. It's what I do But it's you know, it's like and that panic leads to paralyzation that panic leads to freezing and Overwhelming we can't our brain goes offline when we're in that place and how do you get your brain online? You do something so small you do one drawer You look for one thing that does not feel overwhelming one counter to do One tiny thing that you can make a difference on because what we're trying to do is get your brain back online We're trying to make sure that you are out of the freeze state And in motion and I don't care if you're just wiping down a counter I don't care if you take lipstick color all over your mirror and then clean it If that gives you the dopamine hit that will move you forward I want a small bite-sized chunk because I've never seen anyone I will say things like oh turn on the song and dance and organize for the song I've rarely seen people just organize for the song And then stop normally it gets you out of the freeze and moves you in so I love that insight and that awareness that you're sharing because We need to do it smaller and One of the things like with with my community We organize a different room every month and we do that because Most of you think you need to have your whole home organized this weekend And that just puts you in such a state of panic and paralyzation and fear I want you to know Organizing is part of your life like cleaning is part of your life. This is just as long as we have stuff We're gonna have to manage and maintain it. So how do we do it gently with more love with more kindness with more peace? Because we don't want to Live our life when we're done. We want to live our lives while we're doing it because it will never be done Well, when you talk about doing it with love I ran into a brick wall when it came to my husband's closet Oh, don't touch his clothes Okay, so he has a lot of clothes and he has a lot of different things he does in his lifestyle He's got dress clothes that go to the dry cleaners Excuse me, and he has Uh athletic clothes that he wears when he's at the gym And then he has workout in the yard clothes and then he has kick around the house clothes And he's got pajamas that if he goes out to dinner with friends He's got like social dress up clothes and he's got all these clothes And he's got like 10 times more clothes than I do and well that doesn't say much because I was wearing the same thing But hey, he's got like 10 times more clothes than I do So to go into his closet and say hey, I'm gonna downsize your closet We know that it's okay to downsize our own stuff But we don't really want to downsize other people in the family without their permission Yeah, I knew I knew I needed to get him on board and in order to do that and do that with love As you say what I did was this Uh Costco sells these great big tall five Five shelf galvanized steel shelves And if you take three of those shelves out of the middle What you can have is you can have a base a base shelf Which is for support and you can have one at the top that you can hang all of your clothing on And so I built one of those inside the storage unit and I actually built several in there So that we could take his clothes from the closet and literally just hang them inside the storage unit This is why she's the queen everyone. This is why she's the queen The storage unit is a just a couple miles from the house And so what I did was I gave him a key first and I said I would like you to go with me to the storage unit and help me Unload the stuff that I have take a look and see if this is a place you would feel comfortable putting your clothes Because I have I have Quarantined sunday as the day that we're going to go through your clothes and we're going to move from your closet Over to the storage unit and I was hoping that you would only pick five or six of each of those versions of clothing That you'd like to keep between now and the time that we move And he said well, I just don't know if I can do that. I mean, we're talking literally thousands of items of clothing Yeah And he gets to the storage unit and he said whoa, this is the cleanest storage unit I've ever seen and I said awesome Would you feel comfortable having your clothing here? He's like, yeah, I would So he goes right home and he starts picking out big bunches of clothing And I said in order to protect these let's put them in you know sweaters together and t-shirts together and polos together and whatever And let's put a big garbage bag over the top of them so that they don't get dusty And we'll cart them over and then we'll hang them up So by the end of the day, he had all of his clothes moved over into the storage unit And he was so pleased with himself like look what I did Okay, he participated in the project But in doing it with love I had to ease him into it Not just yanking his clothes out of the closet, but I had to take him over there first Physically give him a key. This is how we open the thing This is where all of your shelves your new shelves are And at any time this is on your way home from work if you need clothes you swing by you pick them up They're right. You're in the storage unit and here you go And by the end of the evening not only had he agreed to it But he had helped me unload his entire closet and it looks Beautiful, I mean it looks beautiful right now if you were to walk in for a walkthrough You were going to buy the home or something you'd go. Wow, that is an amazing closet And it has never looked amazing ever until today Yeah, I love that you did that with so much love and you know when we look at our closets They are often the center of our identity meaning how we reveal ourselves to the world It's also our armor. So if you look at men like I see people in the chat saying to yeah, my husband too If you think of men going to battle closer their armor Right, so we're we're looking at the symbolism of these spaces of these items and If you come into someone's home and you just say here's here's what we're going to do If you had approached that without love and just an agenda You might have had major pushback major like no, I'm keeping my stuff. I need all of this But what you did is you saw him You said I see that this is an important topic for you and I want to honor that I've created a strategy that may work And if it works great and if not, we're going to figure something else out I'm flexible and willing to work with you on this because I see it's a high priority to you You showed him you respected him you showed him that you admired him and that you're willing to like Take into blend your agendas basically that's you know, there's this idea in relationships Like there is a lot of compromise But to me compromise is not I'm sacrificing for you Compromises we're building together And so we're coming together and what you're describing here angela just in general decluttering in general It's the same thing with our kids How many people go in and just toss their kids stuff when they're at school? And just be like well, they're too young to know like not always often They're very in tune with what they have and what you got rid of and so this is you know We really want to operate from a space of receptivity kindness curiosity and unfortunately again This is kind of like one of the themes it means going slower It means that it's not about the agenda and completion all the time It's often about how do you enrich the relationships in your lives and enrich your skill set Through the process of moving through the process of organizing I think it was maryanne williamson said in her book return to love that you know We can only evolve so much on our own and then we bring in the people in our lives and That's where I mean, you know, I live alone. Look. I have been a digital nomad. I live alone I'm like easy peasy lemon squeezy The minute I get into a relationship everything becomes exponentially more challenging because now I'm having to negotiate and navigate with another human In the most respectful loving ways possible. So when you're in a relationship It does take you to the next level in the absolute best possible ways Well, one of the interesting things that I I discovered and this is because we did get a storage unit and like I said, I've always been against storage units because it It's giving yourself permission just to keep more stuff And if you are in a transition period between one lifestyle to another It's okay as long as you're aware that this is temporary and we're just not going to house stuff here for The next 20 years because we're too lazy to go through it or something. Well, and I just think too I'm a big pro. I'm like the opposite of you where yes I'm not for like having storage units that you forget about and then they just But I as someone who's been a digital nomad and I often rent You know furnished houses. I just I'm a I'm a traveling lady So when I go places I because I live alone I like smaller houses and that doesn't mean that I'm going to get rid of my memorabilia So I will often if my house doesn't have storage, I will rent a storage unit to store that stuff But it's not like an out-of-sight out of mind thing. I'm very conscious of what's in there I'll have a and a like a basically like a An inventory of what's in there my holiday stuff my blah blah blah You can make a case for getting rid of it But I think if you do it like anything if you do it mindfully exactly like what you're doing it makes it So beneficial to having a home that feels like you can breathe in it and having like you guys are experiencing a transition That doesn't feel painful or suffocating You know and you talk about Taking inventory and I just signed up with an app on my phone It's called item topia and I did a little bit of research before I Bought the app and it's about I think it's $80 a year if you will But what you can do is you just take a picture of everything as you're going through your home And then you say is this at the house or is this at the storage unit? Or is this at the new house or did I donate it or whatever? And so even the stuff that I was donating I took a picture of it so that if my husband ever says Hey, where did this go? Oh, we donated that and now I know and you just click on one little It's like a radio box where you just say it's at this house or it's this location or we gave it away or we tossed it or whatever And it's been really interesting because for me I felt like that was going to save me and I know $80 is a lot of money But I felt like that would save me at least $80 worth of time going through drawers going Hey, did we save this and opening up boxes in the storage unit and saying where did I put that and What did we keep that and where is that and us looking for something that either is still at the house Or it's not it no longer exists for us Yes, because when you're living in transition, you need to have hands on where things are you've got to have a there And here's the thing angela. So you have a very smart brain. You're very intelligent your systems Are deep and a lot of people like I see this often with like my adhd clients They have very I mean my some of my clients can come up with systems. I can't even fathom right? It's like it's so deep and and that is actually something that makes them thrive for other people They get overwhelmed and flooded quite easily and so and like a kind of easy way to do a version of what you're talking about Is to just you know, and this is actually really great for insurance also because we don't all know what we have in our homes Take your phone turn the camera on walk through your entire home open every drawer It might be a 10 minute video But like walk through every single room every cupboard every cabinet just like literally just it's a one-time thing If your house burns down you have a record of what was in the house You know, you can do pictures too, but it just depends on how overwhelming it gets for you If you want to simplify just turn on the video and walk around and then save it somewhere Put it on the cloud. But yeah, just allowing yourself that freedom of okay, great Here's what's in here and if you have a brain that loves Structure and categorization do exactly what you're doing like I love it so much. I'm the same way I love my brain little structures come really easy to me if you're watching or listening and it doesn't that's okay like all you you can Have a box ready to pack take a picture of it or just write it on all four sides like kitchen Blender da da da da or I'll have people where we'll sit there with a laptop and we'll number the boxes Box number one and then we'll write type out an inventory of what's in there There's so many ways to keep a handle on what you you're moving and where it is Without having it to be a giant project But you want to find what works for you exactly like what you're talking about it's you're you're so smart ma'am Thank you. Well, you know what was really weird for me and it was a weird process because The going through things and taking a picture of it with my phone This goes back to the clutter corner concept Which is where the the whole entire clutter corner podcast that we have Is started is taking an item from its original place and taking it to a place where you're not it's not emotionally Connected to all the things around it and the nostalgia of the oak desk and the you know The smell of that room and the reasons why you go in that room and all the things You bring it to just a stark corner of your house on a little table and it's disconnected from everything Then you have to make a decision about it Not the whole room just the one little thing on the table Yeah, so as I was taking a picture of something The moment of truth occurs and I'm sitting here like well Does it go to the storage unit? Does it stay or does it get donated? And as I'm taking a picture of it up to be truthful with you some of the decisions that I made Happened right on that radio box as I went to click on where does this go and I was like, you know what? I really don't like that as much as I thought I did. I don't really know why I'm hanging on to it I don't really know That I want to keep it. Why am I taking it to a storage unit when really I should be donating it? And I hit the donate pile and in the donate box it goes and we're done You know what? I love you describing this so much angela because it's like okay So when I'm watching people organize They'll start to or they'll start to organize they come across something that feels stressful to them So what do you do when you come across something that's stressful? You set it down and you move on to the next thing right? You keep moving through and I'm like always like red flag red flag You just put something down or they'll hold it like I see people There are some brain types that do need a minute to process and but I like to try to have people make the decision Immediately, but what you'll notice is if you don't let yourself set it down if you let yourself just like okay I have to determine what I'm doing with this right now without the option to escape patch Then what you do is you start to realize where does the rubber hit the road? What is not worth my time like is this worth my time? No, it's not worth my time Which is one of the benefits of a quick move because it compresses like oh it's you know I'm actually not going to go and take a picture of every single pen that I have or every single book that I have It's just not worth my time I can get rid of all these because they're not that important to me I'm not going to cry if I can't find them that becomes such a great bar for what we keep and what we get rid of Well, one of the things that I noticed in the process Of going through items and then getting rid of them was The feelings that I was having and I kept stopping to ask myself How am I feeling right now and I'll be truthful with you There are some things as as I was processing and taking four and five loads a day of stuff over to the the the Storage unit that I would get a little bit anxious like oh no my life is being uprooted And then I stopped and I asked myself the question because it's a couple mile drive To and from and I didn't listen to podcasts or no distractions on the way It was just me and my thoughts and I'm asking myself questions like why are you stressed out? And that's I'm stressed out because like I'm uprooting my whole life. Who is making you do that? and like no one Okay, so you're doing this to yourself. Okay, so you got this right? You're doing this because we're doing it right now And and I'll be truthful the reason we're doing it right now is this is the Cold of the winter and if I do this right now as soon as the spring hits, there's going to be yardwork There's going to be lawn maintenance. There's going to be all kinds of stuff my travel schedule picks up It's just it gets you got taxes coming up. I mean, it's just it's hectic And so right now there's kind of a lull And I realized the lull was over the Christmas holiday where all my team members were kind of on vacation And they were kind of on hiatus for a couple weeks and things had calmed down a little bit And I was like, whoa, this is my time And so the the push for me was this is my time before the new year picks up and it gets crazy again So that's that's my rush But I said no one's making you do this You're making yourself do this and so if you gave yourself permission to do it give yourself permission to continue You're okay. You're not hurt. Everything is fine And I I would even dive a little deeper. You're so good about bringing yourself back to the logic, right? Like, okay, here's what's true. Here's what's real And I would go even like up I'd push you a little a little further off the cliff, right because our psyche our brain our emotional You know IQ is not that creative. We worry about the same five things We stress about the same five things. I could give you totally different circumstances. You're going to have the same thing like one of my um One of my lovely things I get to deal with in this life is you know, I'm always going to be alone And I mean you guys I will sit on my birthday and be like, I'm so alone as I get 200 text messages I don't mean facebook messages. I mean text messages It's a perception thing, right? So what we want to do is we want to track when we're having these emotions Like my question for you would be and you don't have to answer this here because I'm outing you in a public Forum but because we're doing a mock a mock-up, you know organizing session Was there a time in your life where you were uprooted without your permission? Was there a time in your life where you were uprooted and it wasn't okay with you? That little part of you that wounded part of you is the part that's speaking up that part is like I don't want it to happen again. It's showing up so you can close the loop So some of the best things we can do is to say I see you I feel you I'm so sorry that that happened That's not what's happening this time. I love you and just sit with that feeling and just feel it for even 30 seconds Yeah, so that's a great question and the answer is no I was uprooted without my permission as a kid But I mean as a kid your parents move and you move with them and whatever and I was never without love or without care Or a roof over my head or any of those things. No, but it could still feel uncomfortable, right from your childhood self There's no trauma for me whatsoever, but the trauma for me Is I'm not just uprooting myself. I'm uprooting my husband as well And so my husband and this is this is where my angst comes from because it's a fair question The angst comes from my husband's life was just uprooted. He just lost his father about six weeks ago And so in the process of that His father Turned ill and became very sick and dependent 24 seven on other people And then he passed away and that's sad and that's part of life And I'm I'm aware enough to know that that could happen to any of us at any time That said his whole life was just uprooted and then he said let's sell our house And I was saying whoa, whoa before you sell a house. Are you selling the house and moving? Because now is the time or are you selling the house and uprooting because you're trying to reinvent the world That just got ripped out from underneath you. Yeah And so if you're clear about why you're moving and it really is just because now is a good time Hey, I'm all on board But if you're not sure of why you're moving and you're just looking for something that looks like a fix I think there are deeper rooted issues that need to be resolved. Yeah, that's where I'm coming from So I don't want to just uproot us and say yes, we're moving And then have it be something that actually the move doesn't resolve does that make sense? Yeah, so it sounds like the anxiety is coming more from like the the concern of if it's the right move for everybody Making sure that everyone is taken care of you kind of being the nurturer in this case Yes, and in the process of doing it How do I honor what he's going through because he's not just going through a move which you said is very stressful But he's also going through the grieving process And so I want to be sensitive to that but at the same time Managing the the lull of the end of the year that we have and then managing the process Of I mean, we're going to be moving no lie from a 6000 square foot house into an apartment for a few months While the home that we think we're going to buy is being built And so if that's the case, we're not we're not talking about a little change We're talking about radical changes and how do I Make that process more smooth because It it could be chaotic Well, and it will be because it's a move, you know, and I think that's so here's the thing I think a lot of times we want to satiate the chaos in life And much of the chaos in life. We cannot satiate we cannot calm ourselves You can't undead his father. You can't make his grief go away He will live with his grief for the rest of his life Both for what he's missing and what he never had if they're whatever, you know It's our familial relationships are complicated and there's a lot tied in there So having to watch the people that we love grieve while you're also grieving because this was your father-in-law While you're also transitioning There's a lot that's here And so sometimes I think the best we can do is just acknowledge that we're in a chaotic chapter And stop looking for the calm and the storm just say we are literally like In the north sea and we are struggling with these insane currents for the next year and a half because once you get in there You're gonna have to settle in and all that stuff. So a year. Maybe we'll say a year a year and three months I am going to let this be chaotic, which means we get to do things. We might not regularly do We're gonna have takeout for dinner and we're going to you know Have picnics on the dining room floor because we sent our table away already whatever it is, but you try to like how can you? Reframe so it seems like an adventure because it's a very Like short-term chapter. Can you guys play pretend that you're going back to college again? And this is your college dorm room. You know, it's like how do you find a way to make it feel Like how is there a way? I shouldn't say how because that's saying that that's the right way to do it But is there a way to make this chapter feel like a fun adventure? While you're in the middle of big Painful transitions. I mean, it's possible Um, I I wasn't looking at it as can I make this fun, which I probably should It's I mean, it's an option. It's I mean, it's yes because we can The the pain when when I've lost very significant people in my life You don't get rid of that pain It doesn't shake off easily But you still live your life and our loved ones on the other side would want us to have a good time Would want us to be like, okay great like how do we make the best of this Thing that societal society will tell us is horrific and How do we do it with again with love with connection with kindness with joy? Have you ever watched those news reports and I laugh at them because to me they're comical But there there's a storm coming or a hurricane or something And you see these news reporters and they're standing out there in the wind in the rain You're like, why is this crazy dude out in the wind in the rain? And the their coat is like blowing in the wind and their hat is almost blowing off and they're like, whoa Let me tell you that the the weather is coming and you're like, I know we can see it in the trees Like almost ready to knock them on the head, you know And they're saying block up your homes and sandbag and brace the windows and everything There's a huge storm coming and in your mind you're yelling for the reporter get out of the way Get out of the storm. Yeah the storm is coming But what what they're telling us is there's something bigger than your control Brace for impact. That's basically their message And so in this particular scenario, I say to myself, this is bigger than us and brace for impact. It's not impossible Yes, we can board up the windows. We can add sandbags. We can evacuate whatever it is But in the in the metaphorical sense We can weather this storm Yeah, but there is a storm. I don't want to negate the fact there is a storm There is a storm coming and if we prepare for it here it comes And I I find that not so much is this fun for us But one of the things I found myself saying multiple times a day just in the last couple of weeks Is when my husband has some angst because there is angst Like why are we why are we cleaning out all the kitchen cupboards now? We're not moving yet Would be an example of what he might say To acknowledge how he's feeling and say I agree with you Right now today may not be the day to empty the cupboards And at the same time and I'm adding that disclaimer and at the same time while I was emptying some of it My box was empty and I thought I'd fill the rest of the box full so that I'm not storing half empty boxes I'm packing the boxes of things that we haven't used in a while and probably won't use again for a while And I'm okay if we don't use it for a year And so from now until the time we move in Are you okay if it goes in the storage unit? Yeah, yeah, I guess I am. Okay, great. And so by starting that conversation with I agree I agree with you. This is not convenient. I agree with you. This is not the best time I agree with you. This is weird to have a whole bunch of empty cupboards in a house. We're still living in I agree with you. That's weird and And then going ahead and saying the next thing And I find that by the time that I've agreed with him He kind of takes a breath and then he listens. He's like, yeah, that's kind of logical. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah Yeah it's so important to be in communication, especially When we're in transition and you're in he's in double transition. You're both are in double transition a grief and a move You know our nervous system gets so Disregulated and we can't always know that that's what's happening or track that You know, we might be a little bit haywire at the moment And so just like you're saying going slow being kind being curious Maybe even giving a heads up And just saying hey, I'm thinking about boxing some stuff up today Would that feel okay to you or does that feel like maybe too much? Because we want to give our loved ones because it is like when you're grieving when you're grieving one of your You know one of those big big losses because like we can lose a third tier friend and be very sad and keep on living our life When you lose a spouse of child of sibling a parent That's the next level change your life change your mindset change your world He's moot like everything inside of him is reconfiguring. So he may be having a day where he's not capable of that So just saying hey, I'm willing to work on this a different day if it doesn't feel good to you You know, and I love your communication and I think so many marriages and relationships in general would benefit from a level of communication that you're describing and also Curiosity because again, you're not pushing your agenda You are being you have a version in your mind of how this can go to support your family in the highest and best way While being flexible and willing to communicate about it, which is you know, really a beautiful a beautiful thing to do Well, thank you Um, it is an interesting exercise and I'm really glad that I'm doing it this year Yeah, because in the process of doing it I've I've made an awareness to myself and I've made a commitment to myself in 2024 This is the year I live with less and that is my theme or my goal for 2024 And so if that is true and I'm starting the year out by putting some of the things in the storage unit that I don't use it again disconnects it from the home or the attachment areas of my home and like you said Get rid of stuff now and then you might get rid of it again in the storage unit As my husband came to the storage unit the other day He's helped me make a few trips now, but I walked him through the storage unit I said this is where we keep this this where we keep this is where you know And at the front of the storage unit, there's a garbage bag with any garbage You know drinks from the car or whatever that we're throwing away as we arrive or things that we're done with That are in the storage unit and then there's a little broom in a dust pan And I showed him how to clean out the the storage unit after every time we leave And so the other day without saying anything I'm getting in the car and he starts like sweeping it out And I was like, he's caught on this is awesome. He's he's got the hang of it Um, but in the process of him just getting comfortable now in the storage unit like hey, this is what we're doing He's also found some things that I moved And I moved some of his like musical instruments from high school that he's never used since and I promise He's never going to use again. Yeah, but I moved them over there and I said, um Some of the things that I moved from this one closet that we have that you weren't using and moved them over there So here's where we keep them and he's like, why are these here? I don't want to save these and I don't want these to go to the new house And so already he's now uncluttering and he's already making those decisions from the storage unit now And there's a good will right around the corner from our storage unit So on the way home we just put them back inside the car enough to the the goodwill So that he's now deciding because it's detached from the home from that from everything And it's in this weird place that he's not really connected to yet Unpacking stuff already going. I'm so done with this. Yeah So good. I love that like storage unit next to you know donation center dream team line up there I know it's awesome It is it's so funny So when I go to a lot of homes to organize with people One of the part one of one of the people in the family will ask for me to come Maybe it's the wife for example And then oftentimes, you know, there's a feeling of like well, it's my clutter I have to handle it or it's his clutter and he has to hand like whatever it is But it's an interesting thing every single person in every single home. I've ever worked in Has wanted that presence and attention when it comes to their stuff I I mean, I'll show up the first day and the husband might come up to me and say I'm not scared of you. We're not getting rid of stuff and I'm like fair enough We don't have to get rid of anything. You don't need to be scared of me. I'm not I'm not sparkly scary girl But what will happen is when we get curious about people's point of view and again When we get curious about their point of view not when we get curious about them behaving within the constructs We have in our mind of how they should be behaving like how much are you get rid getting rid of You should be getting rid of these things that you're not using when we say hey I'm really interested in what you want to keep and take to the new house and what you want to get rid of Is that something you feel like you know having a conversation about right now? Or is there stuff that you want to work on? That opens it up. It opens the conversation up because the truth is most people are so Defensive when it comes to their clutter or their physical possessions because normally they've been told by several people Stuff that they're not using it that they don't need it the tv shows tell us that the books tell us that right I'll get rid of anything you don't need be a minimalist But very few people are genuinely curious like what's important for you to get so if he wanted to keep a guitar Because it has like the most amazing memory to him great. Can we hang it up? Can we make it more visible to you? Can we make it a part of your daily life? And if not do you want to get rid of like it's just If we can I feel like the theme of today has become love It's been how do we love the people around us through our own behavior with our stuff through Supporting them with their stuff like just like you're describing because most people want to be on this path They want to only have things around them that feel good I don't care if someone is living in a home with so much clutter that there are only goat trails Even if they tell you they don't want to get rid of anything Part of them might still want to but they're not going to when they feel like they're being bullied or pressured And so being kind being non-judgmental being curious being interested Is one of the most beautiful gifts that we can offer each other when it comes to our physical stuff Excuse me I agree with you And I appreciate the fact that you're willing to have this conversation with me today One of the things that I can't get away from and one of the reasons that really let the spark underneath me was the inclination of what's coming up And I want us to stop and and all of us take a look Now what do the what does our future life look like? What does the next year two years three years five years look like? Yeah, and we know if we have an ailing partner or parent that is about to have surgery The inclination is there are going to be several months Of rehab and therapy where they are going to need our time and attention And we are not going to have the ability to declutter and more organize our homes And so if we have a little window right now where we are And we are healthy and we are physically mobile and we're able to do some of these things Is this a good time right now where when we're not stressed and I say this is stressful because we're moving but Like I said, nobody's making us move. We're not being transferred for our jobs or anything We haven't bought the new house yet. We haven't sold our old house And so no one is making us do this today And so before the big Storm hits us and before we are just like knocked off our our house And we get flooded or whatever and we're we have a chance to sandbag. Hey, wait a second. The warning is coming There's an inclination that perhaps in the future We're not going to have the time And we're not going to have the resources or we're not going to have the mobility or whatever Now it's the time to go ahead and do a few things that we can And one of the things I love that star said is you don't have to do it all at once You can start small and you can do something like a silverware drawer or you can do a Underneath the bathroom sink on on one Saturday or something. It doesn't have to be the whole house at once But one of the things that I'm finding right now is that by looking at what's coming next And saying hey, wait a second. What do I have the resources and the capability of doing today? We can do that today before it gets incredibly stressful and before it does affect everything in our lives You think yeah, and I love I think the other theme of today is begin with the end in mind And in this case, we're describing a move but a lot of people I work with Are looking at the end being like when they pass away What are their kids going to have to deal with or who's managing their stuff? Like for me? I don't have kids so when I die. No one is going to want my Yearbooks or my cheerleading outfit so at some point in my life in the next 50 years I'm going to have to make a decision about when those go and who those go to because they're significant to me But they may not be significant to a single person when I leave this planet and so Beginning with the end in mind is so powerful and it can be very vulnerable It's one of the reasons why we hold on to stuff because it is scary to ask ourselves those questions Like what does it look like like I don't like the idea of my parents getting older and needing help or passing away I've already had enough loss. They can live for the rest of my life Please and thank you very much, but I know that's not going to happen And so how do we meet ourselves and we we talked earlier about that emotional part of ourselves How do we meet that that sad part of ourselves that little that little kid that's scared to lose their mommy or daddy While continuing to move forward in our in our process. How do we honor the emotional side while Taking action with the end in mind with as much love kindness compassion and curiosity as we can muster Well, and I I love the fact that we had this conversation today And I love the fact that as I'm moving I'm actually going through the workbook the ultimate guide to the move in without cleaning And what's inside here is a little checklist from every single room of your house And one of the things that I've included in here for you is I've included Not just how to clean the areas as you go But I've included the personal protective equipment that you need and the cleaning supplies that you need and how to do it And then when you check it off step by step and this is for homeowners It's not for professional house cleaners This is for homeowners and it's available on all of your online marketplaces But one of the things is you do not have to hire than a professional House cleaning company if you do it as you go Now star you have to tell us about your book Yes, this is this is the decluttering and the organizing that's going to help you before you do that clean Yes, big time. So this is my baby. So why the f? Am I still not organized and what So people can get it for sure You guys can get it for free if you want to download a copy of it. It's star hansen dot com forward slash podcast I will give you a free copy for you to grab there and this will tell you the 10 steps for how to get organized It'll talk about the emotional things that are keeping the clutter stuck It'll tell you what each room in your home symbolizes And then how you can work with that energy to create a more powerful and empowered life for yourself So it's available on amazon and audible in all the main places But you can also get it at star hansen dot com forward slash podcast There is a reason There's a reason they call star the clutter whisperer I just love the fact that you guys loved her as much as I did the first time she came I love the fact that she's opening our 2024 with her wisdom and star I really appreciate you joining us today because as we look into the future and we see That decluttering is not such a scary thing and that it is within our reach I just really applaud the fact that you were willing to come share your wisdom with us and join us here today So thank you very much and thank you all of you guys for for showing up here We've got uh, rachel rose from england. I'm so glad that you joined us today. We've got ario here Thank you from nigeria. We've got lin. We've got kerry kerry. Thank you for your kind words You've got bean counter. We've got lin. We've got ray. We've got deedy. We've got all you guys Thank you guys so much. You guys have made my holiday and thank you so much star for joining us once again I will see you guys and until we meet again, please leave the world a cleaner place than when you found it