 On her fifth birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter looked down at the cake that her foster mother had baked for her and wished that her real parents had never died. She blinked her eyes and found herself in a strange house with a man and woman whom she had never met before in her life. The man was shouting at the woman who wept and hugged herself tightly. There was a bruise high in her cheek and she was rocking back and forth like a child as the man heaped abuses upon abuses on her, ranting and raving angrily. On her sixth birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter whimpered and covered her eyes as she heard her mother scream and wished that she had never made the wish that she had made last year. She blinked her eyes again and found herself back at the foster home. It was her fifth birthday again and her foster mother was waiting for her to blow out the candles. She did so. This time she decided to wish for a pony instead. On her second sixth birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter hugged her favorite stuffed pony and wished that she had 10,000 friends. She blinked and suddenly realized just how many people 10,000 really was. She wondered how she was going to find a cake big enough to feed them all. Then she did have a cake big enough to feed all of her friends but there were angry people outside her house trying to break down the walls and get a piece of her cake because it was the only cake in the world and everyone else was hungry. She blinked again and she found herself back in her foster home, looking down at a small normal cake surrounded by her usual six so-called friends who really weren't. She blew out the candles a second time and this time decided to wish for a fairy princess dress upset. On her seventh birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter wore her favorite princess tiara and blew out the candles. Her favorite stuffed pony sat on top of her dresser in a place of honor but she'd outgrown carrying a stuffed animal everywhere she went. She didn't know what to wish for this time so she didn't. It was then that she saw the old man sitting at the foot of the table where no one should have been. He had thinning gray hair and he smiled as he got to his feet, leaning heavily on his cane. Come with me, he said. I think you're ready for your first lesson now. She took his hand and he took her away from the foster home and into a different world. On her eighth birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter learned about the ways. They're the places between places, teacher explained. They are how you get from the places that are to the places that could have been. When he said that, Seguro's Stefan's daughter realized exactly what he meant. She brushed her hand over the manhole in the middle of the Los Angeles intersection and climbed through into a place filled with books and learning. Happy birthday, the teacher said. Now, it's time to get you your library card. On her ninth birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter met the fox. Everyone always spoke of the fox in all capitals. She wasn't sure how or why this was or even how one could convey capitals in normal speech, but they did. The fox was a tall, beautiful woman with eyes like daggers and teeth like knives. She smiled at Seguro's Stefan's daughter and licked her lips with a cruel, carnal hunger. Seguro's Stefan's daughter wasn't afraid though. No one could harm her while they were in the library. The docents wouldn't let them. That wasn't true everywhere though. Later, Seguro's Stefan's daughter heard that the fox had been shot by some people while she was trying to skin and eat people who, for some reason, liked to dress up as animals. Some people were very sad when they heard this had happened. You see, Ms. Midnight explained patiently, even though she wasn't a very nice person, she was the last fox. It's always sad when something disappears from this world. On her 10th birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter learned about mistakes. She had been looking up at the sky and wondered what it would look like if it were pink instead of blue. And then it was. In a panic, she tried to change it back to blue, but she could never get the color quite right. It was either too dark or too light, or it was too green or too purple or too bright or too dark. She was in tears by the time the teacher said things right again. She expected to get scolded for nearly messing up the sky forever, but the teacher was sympathetic. We all do things like that sometimes, he explained. The important thing is to learn how to say things right again. Some men in black suits came a few days later and they talked to the teacher at length. The teacher seemed upset by those visits and he murdered to himself a lot. But in the end, it seemed that things worked out. On her 11th birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter met the ukulele man. He came to the library with a briefcase and some papers, and although everyone else in the library didn't seem to like him, they left him alone. He sat down with her in one of the side rooms and he asked many questions and did many strange things, like asking her to pick up a pencil that he had knocked off the table himself or asking her very suddenly how many friends she had. Seguro's Stefan's daughter followed her teacher's advice and told the truth every time. She also picked up the pencil herself because the teacher had taught her that one should always try to be as ordinary as possible, whenever possible, because that caused less trouble for other people. The ukulele man seemed pleased by this. He had a talk with the teacher afterwards and told her that she was a phase 2, transitioning into 3 with little chance of a 4. Whatever that meant. He also claimed that she had been designated Response Level 1 and he patted her head and told her happy birthday. The teacher seemed very relieved once the ukulele man had left and he gave her a hug and then they had cake with all her friends. On her 12th birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter kissed a boy. On her 13th birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter decided to try being a boy and kissing a girl. On his 14th birthday, Stefan Segurosan decided that he preferred being a girl, all things considered. On her 15th birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter started to wonder if this sex thing people talked about was really worth it. Shortly after her 16th birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter and the very nice boy she kissed 4 years ago finally figured out the whole sex thing. By her 17th birthday, Seguro's Stefan's daughter had grown bored of this sex thing and decided to try all of the other deadly sins in order to see if they were really as fun as people seem to think. She started with pride. Just before her 18th birthday, Segurosan's daughter had tried absolutely every single sin known to humanity and a few that had not yet been discovered and had grown bored of them all. She decided to try the virtues next starting with charity. By the time she was 19, even virtue had grown boring for her especially since it turned out to be a lot harder than expected. She could have waved her hand and done it easily but her teacher's lessons had driven home to her that something like that often caused more problems for the people who weren't like her than it was worth. So she decided to give up both virtue and vice and decided to try wisdom instead. At around 20 years of age, Segurosan's daughter had learned everything that was possible to know and started on the things that were impossible. She figured out the impossible shortly before she turned 21. She toasted the beginnings of research into the things that were not with her first drink as a legal adult. She was still wrestling with the things that were not when she turned 22, and 23, and 25, and 50, and 70, and 900, and 20,000, and 4 billion. And finally, when time itself had ceased to hold meaning for her, and a year was about as significant to her as the blink of an eye. It was only as the last proton in the universe decayed and nothing existed anymore but an endless expanse of nothingness that Segurosan's daughter finally reached the end of her searching and felt at peace. It was both the next instant and an endless number of eternities later that Segurosan's daughter got bored. What was the point of knowing everything and nothing if there was nothing to do with it anymore? She searched around the infinite nothingness until she found a place that was a little less nothing than everything else. Here she decided she would start creating new everythings and new nothings to experience and learn about. She clapped her non-existent hands and brought reality back into existence. Time, which had long since stood still like a stopped clock, began once more. Symmetry was broken, dividing what had been pure balance into what is and what is not for a second, third, millionth, infinitive time. She closed her metaphorical eyes and opened them after a trillion aeons plus one year to find herself being pulled from warmth and darkness into a world of cold light. And that was how Segurosan's daughter spent her first birthday. End of file. To learn more about the SCP Foundation, subscribe to SCP Orientation today and turn the notification bell on so you don't miss any of our videos.