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So remember, your smoking enjoyment depends on taste, and taste alone, and you'll find Lucky's taste better. Always so mild, so smooth, so firm and fresh, with better taste in every puff. Make your next carton, Lucky Strike. Be happy, go Lucky, go Lucky Strike. Strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Dane, and yours truly, don't worry. Ladies and gentlemen, once again we're broadcasting from Palm Springs, California. This being such a romantic spot, I'd like to make the opening introduction with a little poem. A poem? Nestled in the hills far away from care, is a place we go to breathe the desert air, and there out by the pool far from strife and toil, is our blue-eyed star selling suntan oil. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking, and Don, since we're in a poetic mood, I've written a poem for you, too. Oh, you have? Yes. I did not like your jingle, and if one more joke you tell, it's Bon Voyage, Don Wilson, and welcome home, Von Zell. Let's not have any more of your poems, eh, Henry Wadsworth, fat fellow? Now wait a minute, Jack, if you get fresh with me, I'll follow you around all day and keep you in the shade. Oh, yes, yes, I'm sorry. Well, anyway, sure good to get back to Palm Springs, isn't it, Don? Ah, yes, Jack, I always have a wonderful time here. I do, too, particularly because a fellow can have such privacy here. You know, down yesterday I passed a big crowd in front of the drugstore, not one person turned around, or even bothered to look at me. Really? Well, Jack, why were there such a crowd gathered? They were getting Eddie Candor's autograph. Imagine. But Jack, if you say people here have so much privacy, why did they ask Eddie Candor for his autograph? They didn't ask him. Hmm, they didn't? No. Don, when a man stops you on the street, sings two choruses of Ida, then stamps his name on your forehead, there's nothing you can do about it. What an eager beaver. Ah, Jack, you're just mad at Eddie because he beat you on the golf course yesterday. Sure, but he wouldn't have beaten me if he had played fair. Fair? Yes, imagine this, Don, when we both got on the last green, just as I was getting ready to puck, he put down a dime to mark his ball. What's wrong with that? He divided my point of interest. Then when I missed the putt, I got so mad, I took a swing at the dime and sliced it right into my pocket. The first hole in one I ever made. Anyway, Don, I'm glad you mentioned golf, because tonight our program is dedicated to the formal opening of the new Tamaris Country Club here in Palm Springs. And it's really one of the most beautiful golf... No, don't. But does this dull, twosome mind if a funny man plays through? Oh, hiya, folks. Well, look who's here, Sir Thomas Beecham. Say, Phil, Don and I were just talking about Tamaris, the beautiful new golf course. Since you're such a good golfer, Phil, you'll love it. Yeah, I know, Jackson. I played in the tournament out there yesterday. It is. It's a great course. I thought I saw you out there yesterday. Phil, you were playing with some of your musicians, weren't you? No. Well, I saw Remle, Sammy and Fletcher going around the course with you. Yeah, but they weren't playing. And Remle was carrying my bag. Well, what was Sammy doing? He was carrying Remle. Well, what was Fletcher doing? He was carrying the stuff that made it necessary for Sammy to carry Remle. Yes, Remle is your handicap. He ain't no water hazard. Hey, Jackson, how about you and me playing out at Tamaris someday? Okay, Phil, maybe we can make a match. Yeah, what do you usually go around then? Well, my handicap is... Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hey, Don. Watch me get them this time. Phil, ask me that again, will you? Ask you what again? What do you usually go around in? Shorts or slats, depending on the weather. They may be carrying Remle, but you're carrying this program. Phil, if that joke is carrying the program, I'd rather drag it a little bit. Anyway, I'll play golf with you any time you want to. Okay, Jackson, how much you want to bet? I don't want to bet anything. All I want you to do is, every time we get on the green, mark your ball with a dime. Don, why? I got a slice that'll make me a fortune. Say, Don, if you like to play at Tamaris sometime, I'll get you a... Hey, Jackson, I heard you and Don reciting poetry before. So what? Hey, I got one that's a fifth. A poem? Yeah, yeah. It's about the weather that we had yesterday. Listen to this. I was getting some sun, then I went inside, because the little white cloud sat down and cried. Very good, you know, I expected some... Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello, Mr. Benny. Hello, everybody. Well, Dennis, I hope you're having as much fun in Palm Springs as we are. I sure am, but boy, am I tired. Tired? What have you been doing? Well, last night I went to the movies and I had a stand for two hours. That crowded, huh? No, there was plenty of room. Then why'd you have to stand in the movies? I went to a drive-in and I didn't have a car. Now, wait a minute, Dennis, how did you get into a drive-in without a car? Oh, I was carrying an umbrella and they thought I was a convertible. Oh, stop being silly. What's that on your nose? A windshield wiper. Now, cut. Close that thing on your forehead as your license number. No, Eddie, can't his autograph. Oh, yeah. Now, Dennis, stop being silly and answer me. Are you having a good time? Oh, I'll say, Friday night I went to the Cheechee and saw Sally Rand. I never left so hard in all my life. You know, Don, the weather here has been so beautiful today. I think I may... Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold it. Go back here a minute. Look. Didn't you listen to what this kid just said? I listened to it, heard it, and ignored it. Well, I ain't gonna ignore it. Dennis, you went to the Cheechee and saw Sally Rand's act? Uh-huh. The Sally Rand? Uh-huh. And when you finally saw Sally Rand's act, you, uh, laughed? Yeah, I was sitting up so close, those fans tickled. Look to me for sympathy, girl. Years of experience. Years of experience that taught me that the only way to get along with Dennis have nothing more to do with him than is necessary, like this, for instance. Now, Dennis, we're doing a program and you have to do a song. Yes, sir. What song are you going to sing? The date boats are coming. You mean shrimp boats? This is Palm Springs, bud. Oh, yeah. I mean, look, I don't mind so much when we're at home, but when we're out of town, let's don't be making insult and remarks about the orchestra, huh? Well, Phil, I got a right to make comments about your band after who's the star of this show. Well, when I see my paycheck, I know it ain't me. Oh, stop complaining. I'm not complaining, Jackson. It's just that I'd like to pay income tax like everybody else. Well, the only reason people don't think you're a citizen is because with that bottle of Lord Calvert in your hand all the time, you look like an Englishman. Such a long line for such a little laugh. With me about money, salary, all right. Come in. Mr. Ketzel, it's certainly nice seeing you. What are you doing here in Palm Springs? Oh, I just came down for a little visit. Oh, good, good. Where are you living? At the Hacienda Peseo de la Sal. The Hacienda Peseo de la Sal? Sal is my brother-in-law. He's married to your sister? Yeah, her name is Hacienda. Well, what about Peseo? He's a silent partner. Oh, I see. Well, tell me, Mr. Ketzel, is your wife, your wife is here with you? Yes, and we having fun. We go swimming. We play tennis. And you know this morning my wife rented a bicycle built for two. Oh, and you both went for a ride, huh? No, sir. Then why did she get a bicycle built for two? Believe me, she can use it. Mr. Ketzel, you mean your wife is on the heavy side? If it was only on the side, I wouldn't mind. What's the difference? As long as you're in love with her, Mr. Ketzel, that's all that matters. That's what I keep telling myself. Oh, Mr. Ketzel, thanks for dropping in. Well, it seems that everybody's in Palm Springs this week. You know, Jack, I'm glad I'm here too, because I did some research on this community that I'm sure will please our sponsor very much. Please a sponsor-wide. Well, what's the name of the company that makes lucky strike cigarettes? The American Tobacco Company. That's right. Now, who were the earliest Americans in America? Why, the Indians, of course. That's right. Now, here around Palm Springs, there are many Indians. So, yesterday I went out in the desert until I met some members of the tribe that first settled Palm Springs. The Kauila Indians. The Kauilas? Yes, and do you know what those Indians said to me? No, Don, what? Oh, for heaven's sake. What else do they say, Don? Me, like them, lucky strike. Me, send them smoke signals. L.S., M.F.T.M. L.S., M.F.T.M. T.M.? Batch them, lucky strike, heap round, heap firm, heap fully packed, heap free and easy on the draw. Now look, Don. No call me Don. Me, heap big Indian chief. You big heap, that's all. And I got another word here. They send them signals from reservation. They only find tobacco, can't give them good taste in cigarette. And don't let any drum tell you different. Don, that was very good. What are those horses hooves? Commercial finish. Take them plugged back to reservation. And Don, that was a very educational commercial, but you made one little mistake. It was the Tokwits Indians who founded Palm Springs, not the Kauilas. Oh no, you're wrong, Jack. It was the Kauilas. I'm not wrong, Don. I'll prove that I'm right. There happened to be quite a few Indians in the audience, so I'll ask one of them. I'll ask that one in the front row. He must be a chief. He's wearing a headdress. Excuse me, but was it the Tokwits Indians or the Kauilas who founded Palm Springs? I don't know. What tribe do you belong to? I don't know. Well, where's your reservation? I don't know. You don't know anything. You're a fine Indian. I'm not an Indian. Then how come you're wearing those feathers in your hair? I went to the cheat sheet last night and sat too close. Smarty, if you went there last night, you must be an Indian because I know you had a reservation. Hey, that was pretty funny, wasn't it, Dennis? I don't know. I'll get it. Hello? I have a long-distance call for Jack Benny. This is Jack Benny. It's Collect. Hello? Hello? I'm here. I'm here. Operator, find out who's calling. Just a moment. Mr. Benny will not accept the charges until he knows who's calling. Tell him it's Lamatterty. Rochester. Rochester, I thought you'd be down here by now. Where are you calling from? From Pomona. Pomona, what'd you stop there for? I got a flat tire. Oh, that's too bad. No, that's good. It was laying in the road and it's better than the one we had on. Here by morn, I'm going to play golf and I want you to caddy for me. Oh, boss, I hate to caddy for you at Palm Springs. Stop complaining. Tamarisk is a very level course. There's nothing tough about it. Nothing for you, but how about me? I have to carry a golf, a classic of the sandwiches, a gallon of lemonade. So what? You don't need a caddy. You need a burrow. Oh, Rochester, you don't carry so much. I don't. Remember what happened later? What happened? Stop making things up. Anyway, I'm going to play golf in the morning and I want you to caddy. Okay, I'm with you. What is it? If we lose a ball, let's forget it. Those blood. Okay, goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, say, boss. Now what? Aren't you doing another television show next Sunday, March 9th on CBS Network at 4.30 p.m. Civic Standard Time? That's right. Why? You're paying for this car. Let's put a commercial in it. Rochester, goodbye. And now, ladies and gentlemen, an honor of the opening of Palm Springs newest golf course, Tamarisk. Jack, Jack, before we go any further, I must tell you something, and I know you're going to be surprised. Surprised? What is it, Don? There's a friend of yours who also belongs to Tamarisk, and he'd like to come on and say a few words. A friend of mine? Is it Mr. Anderson, the president of Tamarisk? No. Well, is it Ben Hogan, the pro at Tamarisk? No. Well, who is it? Danny K. Come on in, Danny! This is such a surprise coming right out of my program. It's... Well, it's... Oh, stop it. I'm not going to charge you for it. Now, Jack, the reason I'm here is, well, because every time you come to Palm Springs, you always do an informal show. Isn't that right? That's right. Well, some of the boys at the club cooked up an idea that I'm sure you're going to like. What is it? Well, we decided to form a quartet and sing the song you wrote. My song? Mm-hmm. When you say I beg your pardon, then I'll come back to you. Suddenly, I'm sick. Anyway, Jack, the other three fellas are out outside. Can I call them in? Three fellas, who are they? Yeah. Well, Frank Sinatra, George Burns, and Groucho Mark. That's brilliant dialogue. The show, fellas, and if you say the magic word, you get a bottle of suntan oil. Jack, that reminds me. Huh? Jack? What? That reminds me. Huh? That bottle of suntan oil you saw me was much too greasy, and boy was I embarrassed. Why? What happened? Well, yesterday when I put some on, I slipped right out of my suit. So kidding. Look, fellas, I came here to sing, shall let Jordan get it over with. Okay? Okay. Well, I say I beg your pardon. Me, me, me, me, me, me. I may sing lousy, but I'm grammatically correct. I'm sorry. I'm Groucho. Jack's song. And, fellas, I want to tell you how much I appreciate your coming over to do it. No one but real friends, real pals who would give up a Sunday afternoon just to come over here and do this wonderful song. Jack. What? Shut up. All right, fellas, let's take it. Now, what key we're going to sing in it, Danny? It'll help, but we all take different ones. Well, fellas, let's go. Can we have a nice introduction, please? Let me to forgive you. I'll return the swallows at Serrano. Return to Capistrano. We'll always, always, here. Here's to the cigarette. And luckies taste the sem-f-t. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. Backo that tastes better. There's no substitute for fine tobacco, and don't let anybody tell you different. Second, luckies are made to taste better. In fact, they're the best made of all five principal brands. Yes, you'll be happy when you go lucky, because luckies taste better. So mild, so smooth, so firm and fresh. With better taste in every pub. So next time you buy cigarettes, try a carton of luckies. You'll find luckies taste better. Be happy, go lucky, go lucky. Gentlemen, I want to thank Danny Kay, George Burns, Frank Sinatra, Groucho Marks, and Benny Rubin for appearing on my program today. We'll be back with you next Sunday on radio at the same time and on television a half hour later when I hope you will all be watching. Excuse me. Hello? Hello, is this Jack Bunny? Yes. Is this the Jack Bunny that was born in Racine, Wisconsin? No, no, I was born in Warkegan, Illinois. Well, you got a sister named Jeanette, haven't you? No, no, no, my sister's name is Florence. Well, are you the Jack Bunny that drives a light green to Soto? No, no, no, I have a Maxwell. But you play the piano, don't you? No, no, I'm sorry. I play the violin. Oh, well, I'm sorry. Goodbye. Goodbye. A phone call from a stranger. Your hit parade will go on a model every Thursday night presented by Lucky Strike. Stay tuned for the Amazon Andy Show and follow us immediately. This is the CBS Radio Network.