 Hello everyone, welcome to another NARC Survivor Live video. I'm filming from the car today. I Haven't done a car video for a while and in this one. We're gonna be talking about Does the narcissist ever think about you after you're gone and I don't know that's a question that a lot of you have on your minds because We're not talking about When they do a quick little discard and then they come back with a hoover I'm talking about When they completely cut you off or you leave them and then they don't contact you anymore and It's been weeks Months and you don't hear from them and that's when a lot of you you will begin to wonder Does the narcissist ever think about me and the answer is really quite simple if You were dealing with a true narcissist. I Can tell you that no They are not thinking about you And it really doesn't matter how great of a supply you were to them Doesn't matter what you did for them. It doesn't matter how much money you spent doesn't matter What trips you took them on? All of that is irrelevant because People are just objects to narcissists and You're all replaceable Expendable they look at it like they can just get another you They can get someone else to do everything that you did for them And in fact, they think they can find better They think the grass is greener on the other side And they're never satisfied or content with anything that they have So no The odds are that they are not thinking about you You were just a pit stop You were a place for them to rest and refuel before they then continued along their journey from the beginning they saw you as something temporary they Used you for recreational purposes For their own amusement and enjoyment Rather than for a practical purpose And that's how it was so easy for them to mistreat you Because they weren't considering anything about the future They weren't considering anything long-term It was just fun for them in the moment And that's all it was But of course they already knew you went down for that They were aware of that they knew what you wanted Some of you think they don't know trust me. They are fully aware They study you They know exactly what you're thinking when they're with you. They know exactly what you want And that's how they're able to replicate Whatever fantasy you have They can be whatever you want them to be And that's how many of you get stuck because you think you've met the one You think you've met your soul mates Well, in fact, you've just met the great actor Someone who knows how to put on a show and they're only doing that to get what they want from you But they never actually give you anything. It's just lies and future faking They promise you something about a possible future with them, but they never deliver it to you They never follow it up with action. It never comes into fruition So they just string you along and time goes by And in your invest in more and more of yourself More and more of your time and energy and money Into this person who doesn't even see a future with you or anyone Because from the beginning they just saw it as something temporary I don't know It's not what a lot of you want to hear This is the reality. This is the truth. The narcissist is Most likely not thinking about you at all. They're too busy working on their next target and If things didn't go too well with them and then they moved on to someone else, then they're definitely not thinking about you Because if they were then they would have come back to you by now and the more that time goes by the more weeks and months It should just confirm to you that they're not thinking about you at all So that's really it. I mean a lot of you wonder about this And I can tell you from my own experience. I've experienced this time and time again as you know I've been through a lot of relationships. I would say that the majority majority of them were narcissists Now I'm 34 years old Still single never been married. I've been through many situations I Thought it was leading to something Especially when I was in my early 20s, I mean That's just the type of person that I've always been myself and I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that. I remember Even when I met my first girlfriend. I Was thinking about marriage With the girl that I lost my virginity to This was back when I was 22 years old and I was just fed a bunch of lies With all of the girls that I met or at least most of them. I Can't say that all of them were narcissists, but With the majority of them that I met When I was in my early 20s I mean quite a few of them were teenagers at that time So I could say that some of them didn't really know what they wanted anyway but we did talk about marriage and having children and It never happened Although I was really about it and now after it be 10 years has passed. I can honestly say I Know they're not thinking about me. I know they're not But don't get it wrong. That doesn't mean that they just move on and They live happily ever after it doesn't work like that Because I've seen it myself Some of the narcissists that I was with They manipulated me They led me into believing that we were gonna have a future we were gonna get married have children everything everything that I wanted from when I was In my early 20s, I was already Ready to settle down and they strung me along and Then they moved on to other situations the last thing I saw One of them is working in a supermarket The other one Ended up with a drug dealer and had an abortion and I don't even know where they are now can't Take responsibility for other people's situations if they choose to leave and Do what they want to do Yeah, that's really how it goes. I mean we meet these people and From the very beginning where real what authentic We wear our hearts on our sleeves They know exactly what we're about They know that we desire something long-term Then let me know in the chat if you can hear me, okay, we're okay. All right. Yeah, it's sad. That's really messed up, but These people know exactly what you want from the very beginning That's why they target you they specifically target people who desire Just normal relationships Normal things Those are the types of people they target because they know it's gonna be so easy to pull you in and to get you to develop an emotional connection to them a Sick as that sounds that's exactly what they do and it's horrible. I know I've been for it so many times in my life Time and time again It's like one narcissist after the next they do the exact same thing They know exactly what I'm about They know that I desire something long-term a family relationship marriage Which most of you who are watching this You know, that's what we all want. We just want something normal Something sustainable and they just feed you a bunch of lies. They make you believe that they're about that too But they're not and they never were and they know exactly what they're doing They know that they're tricking you The sad thing is that Many victims of this because there's so many narcissists in this world We can end up looking like the problem because just look at myself in my situation. I Was ready to get married and have children when I was 22 years old When I had my first girlfriend the girl that I lost my virginity to and And To pretty much every girlfriend I had after that but despite that Now I am 34 years old and I've never been married. So now when I meet someone new It doesn't look good for me because now the first thing people are gonna be thinking is How are you 34 years old and you're not married and I'm sure many of you can relate to that Because that's what they do. They pull you in They use you up and then they throw you away and I honestly believe that they take pleasure in doing that Because they don't want you to be good for anyone After they're gone They really don't they don't want to see you moving on and being happy with anyone That is the last thing they want to see because that would destroy their false narrative When they leave you they blame you They want to make you look like the bad person. So if you move on And things go well for you Then they just look like fools But they're not thinking about you They're really not it is a matter of what you think you had with them You had nothing It was an illusion and but I get it, you know, I understand it may have felt real for you I Get that Just as it felt real for me with the few relationships that are long-term relationships that I had in my life Of course, it felt real and at the time I actually thought it was going somewhere But this is how you know, you know people pretend To care about you they pretend to have your best interest in mind They pretend to be in your corner. They pretend to be there for you Sometimes you just got to look and think If they cared so much Where are they now? Where are they right now? Where are they when you're lonely when you're feeling alone? When you're hurting When you're confused if they were the normal ones if they were the good people, where are they now? That's what you have to ask yourself sometimes and that's how you should know that you were just Fared a bunch of lies You really were you were strung along future fakes you were manipulated and It's likely that they've done this to people before you and they will do it to other people after you're gone And they're gonna keep doing it It's a cycle that will always repeat itself There will be the love-bombing the devaluation the discard and sometimes the hoovering and Sometimes we have to look at ourselves. We have to take responsibility And see that we may be in a cycle of our own as well To where we are not vetting people properly We're just letting people come in and they can tell us they're about this or that But there's no evidence How do you know that they are real? How do you know that they are really about that? That's why you need to vet them because that's the only way that you will know You need to observe them because anyone can tell you they're about something it doesn't mean that they actually are They have to prove it with their actions And that's how many of us end up stuck in these Dead-end relationships We've invested so much of our time our energy our money For nothing just so we can be abused and mistreated and it's not fair because You have to think that if these Manipulators these narcissists didn't come into your life. You could have given the best of yourself to someone else Someone who would have valued and appreciated you Someone who would have been there for you for life Someone who would have always stuck by you but instead we ended up with people who Were just there to use us Because that's all they wanted to do They weren't there for anything else and that's why if you look back you'll see they never invested anything into you They limited their time with you. They Were never really serious about anything Less it was to do with them It was all about how they were gonna benefit from the relationship It was never about you and it's sad because you could have had something for real with someone else But this is the problem because a lot of this it comes from Your childhood it's what you learn from growing up By narcissistic parents or caretakers So you didn't know What real love looks like Or how a normal relationship should be if you had a narcissist a parent you will know that They never really cared about you and You may have found yourself chasing Their validation and then you find yourself in these relationships where you're doing the exact same thing and The narcissist has taken on that role from childhood as well Well, like opposite sides of the same coin, but yeah to summarize this No, they don't think about you After you're gone once some time has passed and they've moved on to the next target You don't even cross their mind They only needed you in the moment Narcissists are self-absorbed and they lack empathy They don't see you as a separate person With your own feelings and needs They see you as an object something that Exists to serve them an appliance that they can use a tool and that's really it That's all that You will ever be to them You're never gonna be anything more than that. I don't know some of you You may have married a narcissist and had children with them That doesn't change anything it doesn't matter marriage children that doesn't change a person They're still the same so when There's a divorce a separation whatever it is It ends the same way unless they have no choice, but to communicate with you for whatever reason Then they're just gonna move on and they're not going to be thinking about you That's one thing that you need to know about narcissists. They never Really thinking about you anyway Even if they're with you They're still only thinking about themselves They're only ever thinking about themselves. Let's go outside for a minute asleep Then you're not going to be thinking about them, then you're going to care less about them They anticipate that They fear it. Let me just repeat that again because this is very unfortunate Really, it's the same with every narcissist, every person who's self-absorbed They fear it and they anticipate it They're waiting to catch on You need to figure them out Then they already know about you about they don't care about you We lost the sound there Let me just close this door Can you hear me now? Let me know A lot of sound issues today, sorry about that But yes Let me just repeat that important part again This is pretty much the same with every narcissist, every person who is self-absorbed They anticipate it And they fear it That when you catch on, when you start to figure them out and you realise and it clicks in your head That they are not thinking about you And that they don't care about you They fear it and anticipate it That at that point You're not going to be thinking about them and you're not going to care about them And that is the last thing that they want Which is why they fear and anticipate it so much Because they need you to care They need you to think about them They need you to send out energy to them It fuels them, it gives them supply It validates the illusion, their false narrative And once they know that you see them differently That you pretty much don't see them as a real person anymore Because you recognise their inability to connect And then you're not thinking about them You don't care about them like you did before Once they know that Then it's easy for them to move on Because they were never attached to you anyway The whole purpose A narcissist only wants you to attach to them They don't care about attaching to you It does nothing for them And that's why they don't value relationships Marriage, having a family It means nothing to them It doesn't mean anything It does nothing for them I just want to make that clear Because it's very important for you to understand The whole point of a narcissist The only fulfilment they get Is from making people attached to them So they just want you to watch them and observe them They want you to think about them until the end of time Even when they're not there Because somehow it's still transmitting some kind of energy to them Everything is energy, so that's what it's doing And it's important to be aware of that Because you need to detach and cut the energy cords Because it's draining you And you will notice that you begin to become more and more tired And it will begin to affect your life The best thing to do really is You need to match their energy towards you However much a person cares about you That's how much you should care about them So be indifferent Then you will keep your energy And you can still feel happy and at peace with yourself You can remain unaffected And then you can focus on things that should be more important in your life Because like I said Most of the time they're not thinking about you at all How can they think about you, they don't even know you They don't even know who you are As I've said before Can you remember a time where you actually sat down And had a normal conversation with them Where they actually made an effort to get to know you And that is how you should know That they are not thinking about you Thinking about what What is there for them to think about If they don't know anything about you All they have is this mental snapshot they took of you When they first targeted you And in that moment they idealised you and saw you as perfect And then they took another mental snapshot When they realised that you were separate from them And that they couldn't be you And then that's what you become, they devalue you And if it becomes too much for them to bear And they're constantly triggered and forced to reflect on themselves And what they've become Then that's when they have no choice But to discard you They'll get rid of you Because the entire thing It's all a game It's all an illusion It's a person who The last thing they want to do Is look at themselves If you put a mirror in front of them It's like kryptonite to a narcissist I mean for us it's refreshing because We enjoy looking at ourselves and taking accountability We want to improve and become the best version of ourselves So that we can share that with someone else So that we can build and grow That is the last thing a narcissist wants to do And that is why you never hear anything about them You never do, they never sit down and tell you anything real about themselves And any conversations that you do have It's just them studying you So that they can get ammo that they can later use against you Things that they can keep in their back pocket And that's all it really is It's a game to twist things around Because the last thing they want to do is look at themselves The last thing they want to do is look at themselves And that's the whole point That is why they devalued you That is why they ultimately discard you Because they don't want to look at themselves That's pretty much the only reason why And anyone who they stay with for a long period of time It's because they're with a fool, a doormat Someone who doesn't question or confront them Someone who doesn't hold them accountable And they can be around people like that for a long time Or they can be with another narcissist And then they just gang up on someone outside of the relationship And that brings them enjoyment, that gives them supply But that's all it really is Is they've got to have someone there So that they can unload Someone who's going to take the blame So that they don't have to reflect and feel the shame And if you're not going to do that You're not going to blame someone else They're not just going to break down and suddenly self-reflect They can't do that That is impossible I can tell you that is impossible for a narcissist To self-reflect for a long period of time And develop self-awareness It's impossible If you think that happened with someone That wasn't a narcissist Someone who was just going through something Someone who was hurt But there's no way that was a narcissist If they suddenly became self-aware They must have been aware the whole time And that's how you should know that It will always be the same If they're not thinking about you now They're not going to suddenly have an epiphany And then start thinking about you and caring about you It will remain that way for the rest of their life However they think about you However they feel about you It's always going to be that way It's never going to change Regardless of the external circumstances It doesn't matter Because it has nothing to do with you It's all about them and How they process things in their mind And you can't do anything about that You can't change that It's fixed It's maladaptive And it will never change Because there's no self-reflection There's no accountability And I hate to say it but A lot of them, they do actually like it They enjoy the dysfunctionality, the disorder They like the way it works And how it brings them This dopamine hit, this reward This sense of self-satisfaction This boost of their ego They love that So why would they ever want to change it? Yeah, I'm just out here at this lake Just enjoying this time Without any rain I'm rounding the new BMW 318 It's a great car It drives a bit more like an E-Class Very smooth ride You can see the mountains in the back there If you've got any questions, let me know Down below in the chat I'll answer a few now Got a bit of time I was going to do some more exploring today But there has been a lot of rain Now it's quite late into the afternoon So let me know if you have any questions Put it in the live chat down below You can hear the birds singing in the background I just love nature HiFlyG asks, have you ever helped a knock to change? No, I haven't helped a knock to change And as I said, I do believe that It is impossible And that is why, myself, I don't associate Any close relationships with Narcissus because I know It is impossible for them to change They're not going to suddenly have an epiphany And self-reflect And develop some level of self-awareness That is impossible The whole nature of the disorder Is that it is maladaptive It cannot be changed Mandus asks, do you think a knock partner Is worse or knock parents? I've had both Definitely 100% a narcissistic parent Is going to be far worse Than a narcissistic partner in general And the reason why I say that Is because, as I said It all stems from childhood So if you find yourself being involved With a lot of narcissists You just have to blame your narcissistic parent Because they groomed you They programmed you from a young age To be this codependent Or people pleaser This person with no boundaries To where anyone can just Cross over and step on you And you'll just accept it You'll tolerate it You won't do anything about it You'll think that you deserve it That's what a narcissistic parent Will do to you And then you'll find that your entire life Is just full of abuse and mistreatment Where you're just being manipulated By toxic personalities People who are deceiving you Lion-cheating, stealing from you That all stems from having a narcissistic parent You were programmed Groomed from birth And of course I understand How bad it can be with A narcissistic partner as well But at least then a lot of times It's much easier to leave If you're not married Or you don't have children But the narcissistic parent Is a lot more difficult Especially depending on your age So yeah, my opinion is that A narcissistic parent is far worse 100% Ed Marie asks, is it possible To make a man talk to me again Through one-on-one coaching? Yes, I am available Any time for a one-on-one coaching session You can book through my website It is narksafiver.co.uk So Yes, I'm available any time there Mandoos says, I've seen one Try to self-reflect They stop short Yeah, that's very true, they do It's, as I've said before It's like this Small window of self-reflection When they get triggered Like a narcissistic injury Then it's quickly followed by the rage Or sometimes They may play the victim as well But yeah, it's only just that Small window of self-reflection That's As much as it's going to be It's not going to be a longer period than that As you've said there, they always stop short They do Okay, I'm gonna go and get something to eat now I hope you enjoy this video I hope it was informative for you If you enjoyed it, please give it a thumbs up down below It will help the YouTube algorithm And it helps to support our community Spreads the awareness and gets the message out there And let me know your thoughts down in the comment section Let me know if you agree with this or not Let me know your views And please share the video Subscribe And If you'd like to book a one-on-one with me You can book through my website It is NarcSurvivor.co.uk And also check out my Instagram as well It's NarcSurvivor YouTube and Instagram I have new pictures and videos of my travels on there Every day Alright, thank you all for joining me And you all have a great day