 This is the SF Productions podcast network Well this edition of vast wasteland and well once again, it's the Poverie Edition and this time we are doing toys part two But if you're counting first I guess before we get in here and talk about all these wonderful things that you see before us here Guess we'd better tell you we're on Tuesdays at six Wednesdays at ten and Thursdays at three Here on a CTV cable 21, and there's an address in case you want to complain about those times or anything else That's vast wasteland post office box 1514 11 Columbus, Ohio four three two one five So right please We're begging you we can read Because we want to hear what you've got to say so Well now let's hear what we've got to say we're gonna talk about toys here, no And well first off before we before we start talking about the toys that I've got here That's one to show you something What have you got to show us the last time we talked about toys we talked about the first Barbie Barbies Yeah, and the first can well Here we have the first Barbie and the first Ken What a honk what a stud notice how muscular Ken is And what a doll that Barbie is with those wonderful glasses and that cool cool purse for the beach Okay, she's always been able to make a fashion statement, but and high heels on the beach always thought that was It's so chic that was quite a statement right chic and then Barbie is of course the first punk rocker She's got these these earrings that just plug right into her head there Well that or you took um, you know those fancy sewing pins that has the big colored The balls in the ball in the end and just like those in a Barbie's head. No, I suppose you could do it to Ken too Yeah So that can he's such a honk no one that she dated GI Joe Which just leads us into what we're gonna talk about here. Well one of the things I'm gonna talk about at least the GI Joe phenomenon The life of kinds of history the love of GI Joe real American hero. Yeah GI Joe GI Joe fighting man from head to toe on the land on the sea in the air Somewhere okay back in 1965 GI Joe made his first um, well, no, I didn't in 64. He actually made his first appearance and they had a Joe for each of the each of the branches of the military Army Navy Marine Air Force And so they pretty much I mean Joe was all pretty much the standard the same standard guy he Whether he had dark hair light hair which was while he had very first started off. He did well They had black hair they had blonde hair and they might have had brown hair, but I don't think they really did And he always had this Scar on the side of his face that they never really explained it was just kind of there coffee was a tough a macho dude Tough a macho dude to have a scar. Well, whatever It was just a scar all the Joe's had the scar they never explained it and it was there It was like the trademark now so that I didn't understand GI Joe was in the Army the Navy the Marines and the Air Force No, it wasn't always the same Joe. It was different Joe's but Basically the same guy. They were all fighting well see the whole GI Joe thing is just the idea of he's anonymous and That's that's something that pretty much someone anonymous had a lot of commercials He had a lot of commercials, but he was pretty much just an anonymous fighting guy I'll head dog tags in the original ones Yeah, and when you got into the GI Joe club, you got your own dog tag And I bet you work proudly. Oh, yeah, I work to school and had a good old time and Well, I mean after a while though one thing about Joe was he had these little funny hands that could only hold maybe One thing two things. He just kind of arthritic here It was it really didn't make for a good a good doll Well, didn't he just have like hands that could just hold a gun basically yeah a gun and a gun a knife a weapon Yeah Hey, you almost get his hand his fingers through that through the hole there It's the wonderful spear guy Well besides Barbie that just you could just buy all kinds of ridiculous things for like like the dog could have his own house and furnishing Basically you after a while they did start making a house for Joe Yes, a lot of some of the accessories They never had a USO Joe did Well actually after a while they did They just They just had a branch into other nationalities to after a while they did and they Stayed on with them. Yeah, because I know in our opening shot if you look real closely, I think that's a Japanese GI Joe Or Oriental GI Joe, however, they labeled him the Oriental Joe. Well the Japanese Joe is actually the They came out with British Russian French Australian and Japanese Joe's for the the whole International spectrum there and then they got into this Joe Action team thing which was kind of a precursor of the the Joe's they came out with in the 70s Where um well Joe well after he got hair there we got like real buzz hair Oh, they had those ones of the beards. Yeah, well, that's what this one over here has these the desert Joe And he's out here looking for King Tut or somebody because he's out here in a no word of fight. I do some And a six-wheeler thing and he's out here. He's digging up a mummy the only bad thing about these Adventure team Joe things was well the Joe was okay. The equipment they had was okay The things that they were going out to find were always. Oh, maybe a third of their size. So It just wasn't really realistic It's like well, you've got him he's going out and he's trying to find this mummy or He's being attacked by this great white shark here It's great white Just great white hot dog shark here Or who here the eight ropes of danger which you're gonna stop him from How about this great man eating alligator here Yeah, small man. Well this Joe well, he just I just didn't really do a good job with the scale on the the things that he was either going to find a whole side of Gorilla that's like maybe this big or something supposed to beat him up or something. Just didn't really they were small but mighty, you know They had reputations, you see Mr.. Had something preceded the eight ropes of death here. Well, I mean they just played it up real big They got this whole this whole treasure chest deal And I do a map map to go out and New France Europe beware of the eight ropes of danger New India This is a weird map. Well, it's an it's an ancient map Oh, try to find these these the blooms and things here that are in this treasure chest But here's here's what you're going up against this darn little Octopus here That's the eight ropes of danger. Well, excuse me death danger. It's all the same to me Well, it was all the same to him, too And it just didn't really work so Joe just kind of fizzled out there after a while He went into space and everything they had a had a space Joe and he just well the whole the whole idea just kind of fizzled out With the the less than popular Vietnam experience Yeah, it's kind of weird that GI Joe was popular was a popular toy considering the Vietnam War was going on and We never saw like hippy Joe Well, that's how come he started doing the adventure team things because the world just wasn't as popular So then they had to come out with other dolls. Oh, are these kind of like same-time dolls? Yeah, because Well, James Bond kind of got to be popular there in the mid sixties also We had lots of movies going for him. Oh, this is true. This is true. So they decided to I mean the adults had the books to read and they could go to the movies the kids couldn't necessarily always go to the movies because They were kind of they were more geared toward adults. So they had to come up with something. They came up with the James Bond doll and it was Fashioned to look like Sean Connery This is the Sean Connery bond. Yeah, well, this was before there. This was the only bond that was available at the time They ever make a Roger Moore bond If they did, I don't know about it Now they make a James Bond junior That's based on the cart Going back to like the Joe's Joe's came back in the 80s Well, the 70s actually late 70s and they came back about this big Yeah, they were they were just about a half of the size But see they figured that was a great marketing tool because they could make More Joe's and you'd have to collect them all in order to get the whole great adventure going here for you Yeah, Joe became like a covert a covert It's like they're two squads of mercenary guys going at each other They don't have anything else to do for a living. Well, no Joe Joe's are kind of defending the truth of justice And then there's Cobra who are just out to rule the world And then there's different mercenary different mercenary groups that join in with either one from time to time So but that's where the Joe's are now But now they've brought back the big Joe's and they've given them better hands. They can hold things now They're not just these little arthritic cans. They can they can do things They're they're much better and they come with them Well, like every toy that's out there now they come with sound things and machine gun noises and things like that But they brought back the big Joe's look for them. They're just on special editions, and they're gonna just leave fast right after Christmas They'll be gone just like that. Yeah, right It's like Joe has done his full circle. Anyway, this is James Bond all he was out there for a while They had James Bond all they also had an odd job doll odd job was a character that appeared in the movie Goldfinger and he was a big Oriental sumo wrestler size guy that Was the hat that he could throw the hat and it was just whack off the statue Yeah, the hat had a metal band on it that could break necks or Break anything that it kind of ran into so they they made they made a doll with the hat Just just for fun there to throw it James Bond and James Bond could shoot him or something things like that also at that time they had Man from Uncle dolls had Napoleon solo and Elia Curiacan Had a honey West doll complete with Bruce the ocelot Well, of course and so and then they had several Uniforms and things that you could get for them not that you'll necessarily be able to see them all but well there We are just giving you idea Just a general idea. That's the kind of an idea there and then There's more there's one more Out here in front the little little George Bush guy, which is like we just realized tonight that this this this guy looks like George Bush But what's his name captain action captain action? Captain action also known as George Bush and right now. He's doing his thing saying Well, you did I'm not I'm not the I'm not the president anymore. What's there left for me to do? Well George, you could be Superman Superman died today Oops, I guess I'm Georgia in the same boat Or maybe whoop the phantom Well, I guess it's Superman's day. That's kind of them popular Batman. Yes, you could be Batman You don't have to shoot yourself. You could be Batman. Basically captain action Had no life. He was just the great impersonator. Well, yeah, it was kind of after that. Um, what was that? Well, anyway, it was yeah, the great impersonation. I can't remember what the name of the movie was but anyway He had the uniforms he had all kinds of utensils and things he could just be Anybody a guy who flipped through the Sunday comics and decided he wanted to be everybody Basically, and I guess he had a lot of money and he could just make all these things And then they um, they made a um an Action boy who could be all the sidekicks. He could be Robin. He could be super boy Who else is there? They just came up with all these wonderful well, he was Aqualad. Yeah, he was Gosh, it even had had a dog with him that could be crypto or whatever other dog characters there were And did they have somebody who could be an Harriet so that we don't have to suspect this they came out with an an action girl who could be super girl and wonder woman and I Think she was what's what's what's his name? His wife's Aquaman's wife's Mira. She could be Mira This is Aquaman. Aquaman? They never came out with a Hawkman suit for him. I wanted to see him going with a Hawkman suit But they never did there. Bummer Anyway, there there we are. There's these dolls and wonderful things like that the action dolls the the the 12 the 11 and a half inch to 12 inch action figures that could that the boys could play with and Not had to play with Ken that their sisters had They could bring in Batman and spies and things like that. That's an adventure to those Action those 12 inch dolls there. Mm-hmm. Okay Well, I guess it's time of the year since it's getting like toward the holiday season and all that Reminds me of well remember back a few years ago when every child had to have a cabbage patch doll So so like stupid people stood in lines at Kmart at six o'clock in the morning so they could get that doll You know, there's only a toy. That's the demand toys the toy that every kid has to have Okay, well, these were two of the demand toys that I remember from back gosh, probably 1968 78 Yeah, the latter 60s the latter 60s whatever I was alive. That's all I knew. Okay. This is tippy toes and She actually Well, let's see if she'll work Yes, there she goes she could ride her bike with that realistic baby motor noise That I mean you just you were nobody if you did not get this doll She could also ride a little horse and if you had a little hand she walked So it's like, you know an action figure You just had to put batteries in it to get the action and this Was like the other doll that you had to have that I actually got this one for my birthday my birthday was near Christmas, so This is mrs. Beasley from You got it mr. Beal whatever it this one actually taught cuz Talking dolls were very popular. I think they're just now starting to bring them back sort of and Mattel did them so well too Well, not so well because well, what's mrs. Beasley now 20 30 years old? That's the most we can get out of it. They work for Maybe a good five-year span and then they depending upon how much you used them What do you think I use this is Beasley? No, I mean The talking things because those those talking well it was a see-and-say they kind of have like maybe a three-year span Yeah, well they've totally changed those now though the pull string is becoming a thing of the past Yeah, they they just don't have very many pull strings though But tell Mattel was was the company that made the pull string things Yeah, pretty much because they had the whole well The chatty Kathy the charm and chatty the chatty babies you've got the pictures in there. Don't you well? I was looking here. I had charm and chatty. She actually had records that went into her side And then you pulled the string and she spoke foreign languages to That was ingenious. It was fun. You could play games with her. I was the only child for a long time So talking dolls were absolutely wonderful You had somebody to play with But these were like two of the hottest dolls you had to have these dollars you died these dolls you don't have a reason to live Of course that darn Pamela Ferdin. She had an Effie boots, which was just Mrs. Beasley in another dress Well, they didn't market that one. I know they never did market the Effie boots and I'm glad to I've never figured out why this one was so popular Because Mrs. Beasley on the show only talked to Buffy and that was just in her ear. Yeah and There now swingy was one I did not get She she go-go danced her Okay, this is swingy another Mattel toy dressed in her lovely Dressed in her lovely What do you call that neon fashions there mod fashion mawn neon Whatever well, she was cool, but I didn't get her I guess I should have Committed threaten commit suicide or something. I don't know that might have worked There are people that wish I would have But you know one of the chatty dolls this is baby first step. Oh baby first step One was walking doll. Well, she was a walking doll also a Mattel doll, you know, I think she was ideal Was she an ideal doll? I don't know. This is something they still put It's like you can look on dolls butts and see where they were from. This was a Mattel. Okay. She was a Mattel 1967 For this one here. I don't know. Do they still ride on dolls butts when they were made on their foot or something They're somewhere in there. Oh, there's something that we also Tattoo on her but wonderful big-headed kiddles They just thought all little kids you'd have a doll with a big head. So that's kiddles little kids have big heads Take some water growing till kiddles never do Yeah, right So there we are big-headed dolls Now I brought this old doll along This one I called Susie it this was this was just your basic baby doll And I think we went through this phase where we had talking dolls and dolls with batteries that walked and dolls It did all these fantastic things and then like when the cabbage patch got popular It was a doll that didn't do nothing. It was just a simple just like this this doll didn't I think I carried her by her hair You can't tell And you know, it's like this doll probably came with a diaper is this this you one that's got the hole in her mouth Yeah, she's got the hole in the bottle. Yes wedding dolls were popular now potty trained dolls She does the eye thing. She does the eye thing. Oh, yeah mark of a quality doll She could shut her eyes one that can open and shut her eyes anytime you tilt their head back to her little eyes would close But you know dolls kind of went back to just being plain old baby dolls It didn't do anything but then they got crazy with them with now they're getting real crazy They just do too many things now. They got they got the potty dolls. What's what's all that about they've got dolls that What's the well, whatever one it is? The toilet makes noise. It's that among them toilet. There's like yellow water that appears And it makes little noises like toilet. No, no like the grossest one was the baby doll that you gave the bottle to And it got a diaper rash and then you had to clear up the diaper rash with this Just pretend ointment. She's still Nasty, we don't need baby dolls that real little extra mental dolls Oh But you know you remember um baby alive soft and sweet she can drink she can eat Yeah, this is dog's little mouth move when you fed her we found out she can smoke a cigarette You can actually put a cigarette a baby alive's mouth light it and there's something in the motion of her mouth She'd be smoking the cigarette. It was a scream, but I guess I shouldn't tell kids to try that Don't try it at home. I was professional There's other dolls that do things like that. I mean you can you can just come up with amazing things for dolls to do That was kind of the fun I haven't If you didn't have little brothers little sisters, you can have dolls that could do these amazing things and you wouldn't get A trouble for it It's just a doll. Yeah, all right. You can throw them on the roof But that was half the fun I thought that was all the fun. Well, I let a boring life So what else have we got? Well, that's that's about it for this time. Um next time We'll go back. It'll be another another. Um, we'll bring something in now What's the next week is next week all three of us or just Next week's all three of us again, right? Yes, it will be. Well, I can't keep track of these things I'm such a busy person. It'll be all three of us and we'll talk about another. Um, Another tv thing and then what are we talking about next time? I don't know what we're talking about next time. Okay, you're the organized one. We aren't It'll be another tv thing. Maybe maybe it'll be cartoons. Who knows it'll it'll be fun though Well, we we always seem to have something And then um by golly after that'll be the next of the dc the dc comics You guys have a third part for dc? We haven't do a third part of dc because we were just getting to the 60s really all into the 70s late 60s early 70s. We're just getting to that point And then we've got a we've we've we're really probably going to be right in the middle of the big death of superman thing So we'll have to discuss that i'm pretty sure once we do the next uh Because you know that's going to happen don't you you know that's that's going on here I mean probably by the time you see this show superman will be dead. Well, he actually died today And then they're going to have what eight parts of funeral Um, well that funeral is going to be pretty much a stretched out kind of thing. They're gonna Like this show right now They're going to do the funeral. They're going to have shirts. It's just going to be just uh a big hullabaloo of death We should all be so lucky Yeah, by golly. I wish they could stretch my death out for eight episodes. You know, I'll be great Oh, thanks We'll make it to a mini series a whole week Oh, man Okay, so, um Uh-huh I'll be about it getting all these gestures Oh, hey, I think that's something i've seen in turkey So well anyway Well next time it'll be the three of us doing the tv thing again We'll be talking about something mark knows, but he won't tell us he's keeping it a secret Or maybe we'll just find out then So make sure to stay tuned So that's it. Yeah, we're wrapping it up. We're getting out of here. So, um From fast wasteland the pulpery thing. We'll see you