 Chapter 23 of Mr. Midshipman Easy. This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Mr. Midshipman Easy by Captain Frank Marriott, read by Adrian Pretzelis. Chapter 23 Jack goes on another cruise, love and diplomacy. Jack proves himself as clever for three and upsets all the arrangements of the high contracting powers. A few days after the arrival of the Harpy at Port Mahone, a cutter came in with dispatches from the Admiral. Captain Wilson found that he was posted to the Aurora frigate in which a vacancy had been made by the result of our hero's transgressions. Mr. Sawbridge was raised to the rank of commander and appointed to the command of the Harpy. The Admiral informed Captain Wilson that he must detain the Aurora until the arrival of another frigate, hourly expected, and then she would be sent down to Mahone for him to take the command of her. Further he intimated that a supply of live bullocks would be very agreeable and begged that he would send to Tatuan immediately. Captain Wilson had lost so many officers that he knew not whom to send. Indeed now he was no longer in command of the Harpy and there was but one lieutenant and no master or master's mate. Gascoigne and Jack were the only serviceable Midshipman and he was afraid to trust them on any expedition in which expedition was required. What shall we do, Sawbridge? Shall we send easy or Gascoigne or both or neither? For if the bullocks are not forthcoming, the Admiral will not let them off as we do. We must send somebody, Wilson, replied Captain Sawbridge, and it is the custom to send two officers as one receives the bullocks on board while the other attends to the embarkation. Then send both, Sawbridge, but lecture them well first. I don't think they can get into any mischief there, or, replied Sawbridge, and it's such a whole that they will be glad to get away from it. Easy and Gascoigne were summoned, listened very respectfully to all, Captain Sawbridge said, promised to conduct themselves with the utmost propriety, received a letter to the Vice-Council, and were sent with their hammocks and chests in the cabin on board the Eliza Anne, brig of two hundred and sixteen tonnes, chartered by government, the master and crew of which were all busy ford heaving up their anchors. The master of the transport came aft to receive them. He was a short red-haired young man, with hands as broad as the flappers of a turtle. He was broad-faced, broad-shouldered, well-freckled, and pug-nosed, and if not very handsome, he was remarkably good-humoured. As soon as the chests and hammocks were on deck, he told them that when he could get the anchor up and make sail, he would give them some bottled porter. Jack proposed that he should get the porter up, and they would drink it while he got the anchor up, as it would save time. It may save time, may have, but it won't save porter, replied the master. However, you shall have it. He called the boy, ordered him to bring up the porter, and then went ford. Jack made the boy bring up two chairs, put the porter on the companion hatch, and he and Gaskoin sat down. The anchor was weighed, and the transport ran out under her foretopsel, as they were light-handed, and had to secure the anchor. The transport passed within ten yards of the harpy, and a captain sawbridge, when he perceived the two midshipmen taking it so very easy, sitting in their chairs with their legs crossed, arms folded, and their porter before them, had a very great mind to order the transport to heave too. But he could spare no other officer, so he walked away, saying to himself, There'll be another yarn for the governor, or I'm mistaken. As soon as sail was made on the transport, the master, whose name was Hog, came up to our hero, and asked him how he found the porter. Jack declared that he never could venture an opinion upon the first bottle. So, Captain Hog, we'll trouble you for a second. After which they troubled him for a third. Begged for a fourth, must drink his health in a fifth, and finally pointed out the propriety of making up the half-dozen. By this time they found themselves rather light-headed. So, desiring Captain Hog to keep a sharp look out, and not to call them on any account whatever, they retired to their hammocks. The next morning they awoke late. The breeze was fresh and fair. They requested Captain Hog not to consider the expense as they would pay for all that they ate and drank, and all he did into the bargain, and promised him a fit-out when they got to Tetuan. What with this promise, and calling him Captain, our hero and Gascoigne won the master's heart, and being a very good tempered fellow they did what they pleased. Jack tossed a doubloon to the men for them to drink on their arrival, and all the men of the transport were in a transport at Jack's coming to reign over them. It must be acknowledged that Jack's reign was, for the most part of it, happy and glorious. At last they arrived in Tatuan, and our Pyleides and Orestes went on shore to call upon the Vice-Council, accompanied by Captain Hog. They produced their credentials and demanded bullocks. The Vice-Council was a very young man, short and thin and light-haired. His father had held the situation before him, and he had been appointed his successor because nobody else had thought the situation worth applying for. Nevertheless, Mr. Hicks was impressed at the immense responsibility of his office. It was not, however, a place of some little emolument at this moment, and Mr. Hicks had plenty on his hands besides his sister, who, being the only English lady there, set the fashion of the place and usurped all the attention of the gentlemen mariners who occasionally came for bullocks. But Miss Hicks knew her own importance, and had successively refused three midshipmen, one master's mate, and an acting purser. African bullocks were plentiful at Tatuan, but English ladies were scarce. Moreover, she had a pretty little fortune of her own to wit three hundred dollars in a canvas bag left her by her father and entirely at her own disposal. Miss Hicks was very like her brother, except that she was more dumpling in her figure with flaxen hair. Her features were rather pretty and her skin very fair. As soon as the preliminaries had been entered into and arrangements made in a small room with bare walls, which Mr. Hicks denominated his office, they were asked to walk into the parlor to be introduced to the vice consul's sister. Miss Hicks tossed her head at the two midshipmen, but smiled most graciously at Captain Hogg. She knew the relative ranks of midshipmen and captain. After a short time she requested the honour of Captain Hogg's company to dinner, and begged that he would bring his midshipmen with him, at which Jack and Gascoigne looked at each other and burst out in a laugh, and Miss Hicks was very near rescinding the latter part of her invitation. As soon as they were out of the house they told the Captain to go on board and get all ready whilst they walked round the town. Having peeped into every part of it, and stared at Arabs, Moors and Jews till they were tired, they proceeded to the landing place where they met the Captain who informed them that he had done nothing, because the men were all drunk with Jack's doubloon. Jack replied that a doubloon would not last forever, and that the sooner they drank it out, the better. They then returned to the vice consul's, whom they requested to procure for them fifty dozen of fowls, twenty sheep, and a great many other articles which might be taken for the place. For, as Jack said, they would live well going up to Toulon, and if there were any of the stock left they would give them to the admiral, for Jack had taken the precaution to put his father's philosophy once more to the proof before he quitted Mahon. As Jack gave such a liberal order, and the vice consul cheated him out of at least one-third of what he paid, Mr Hicks thought he could do no less than offer beds to our Miss Shipman, as well as to Captain Hogg. So, as soon as dinner was over, they ordered Captain Hogg to go on board and bring their things on shore, which he did. As the time usual for transports remaining at Tatuane before they could be completed with Bullocks was three weeks, our Miss Shipman decided upon staying at least so long, if they could find anything to do, or if they could not, doing nothing was infinitely preferable to doing duty. So they took up their quarters at the vice consuls, sending for porter and other things which were not to be had but from the transport, and Jack, to prove that he was not a swindler, as Captain Tata had called him, gave Captain Hogg a hundred dollars on account, for Captain Hogg had a large stock of porter and English luxuries, which he had brought out as a venture, and of which he still had a considerable portion left. As therefore our Miss Shipman not only were cheated by the vice consul, but they also supplied his table. Mr. Hicks was very hospitable, and everything was at their service, except Miss Julia, who turned up her nose at a Miss Shipman, even upon full pay. But she made great advances to the Captain, who, on his part, was desperately in love. So the mates and the men made all ready for the bullocks. Jack and Gascoigne made themselves comfortable, and Captain Hogg made love, and thus passed the first week. The Chamber of Easy and Gascoigne was at the top of the house, and finding it excessively warm, Gascoigne had forced his way up to the flat roof above, for the houses are all built in that way in most Mohammedan countries, to enable the occupants to enjoy the cool of the evening, and sometimes to sleep there. Those roofs, where the houses are built next to each other, are divided by a wall of several feet, to ensure that privacy which the Mohammedan customs demand. Gascoigne had not been long up there before he heard the voice of a female, singing in a plaintive air in a low tone on the other side of the wall. Gascoigne sang well himself, and having a very fine ear he was pleased with the correctness of the notes, although he had never heard the air before. He lent against the wall, smoked his cigar, and listened. It was repeated again and again at intervals. Gascoigne soon caught the notes, which sounded so clear and pure in the silence of the night. At last they ceased, and having waited another half hour in vain, our midshipman returned to his bed, humming the air which had so pleased his ear. It haunted him during his sleep, and rang in his ears when he awoke, as it is well known any new air that pleases us will do. Before breakfast was ready Gascoigne had put English words to it, and sang them over and over again. He inquired of the vice-consul who lived in the next house, and was answered that it was old Moor, who was reported to be wealthy, and to have a daughter who many of the people had asked in marriage, but whether for her wealth or for her beauty he could not tell. He had, however, heard that she was very handsome. Gascoigne made no further inquiries, but went out with Jack and Captain Hogg, and on board to see the water got in for the bullocks. Where did you pick up that air, Gascoigne? It is very pretty, but I never heard you sing it before. Gascoigne told him, and also what he had heard from Mr. Hicks. I am determined, Jack, to see that girl if I can. Hicks can talk Arabic fast enough, just ask him the Arabic for these words. Don't be afraid. I love you. I cannot speak your tongue, and put them down on paper as they are pronounced. Jack rallied Gascoigne upon his fancy, which could end in nothing. Perhaps not, replied Gascoigne, and I should have cared nothing about it if she had not sung so well. I really believe the way to my heart is through my ear. However, I shall try tonight, and soon find if she has the feeling which I think she has. Now, let us go back. I am tired of looking at women with garments up to their eyes, and men in dirt up to their foreheads. As they entered the house, they heard an altercation between Mr. and Miss Hicks. I shall never give my consent, Julia. One of those midshipmen you turn your note up is worth a dozen hogs. Now, if we only knew the price of a hog in this country, observed Easy, we shall be able to calculate our exact value, Ned. A hog being an unclean animal is not harsh, said Jack. Mr. Hicks, replied Miss Julia, I am mistress of myself and my fortune, and I shall do as I please. Depend on it, you shall not, Julia. I consider it my duty to prevent you from making an improper match, and, as His Majesty's representative here, I cannot allow you to marry this young man. Mercy on us, said Gascoigne. His Majesty's representative. I shall not ask your consent, replied the lady. Yes, but you shall not marry without my consent. I have, as you know Julia from my situation here, as one of His Majesty's core diplomatic, great power, and I shall forgive the bands. In fact, it is only I who can marry you. Then I'll marry elsewhere. And what will you do on board the transport until you are able to be married? I shall do as I think proper, replied the lady, and I'll thank you for none of your indelicate insinuations. So, saying the lady bounced out of the room into her own, and our midshipman then made a noise in the passage to intimate that they had come in. They found Mr. Hicks looking very red and vice-consular indeed, but he recovered himself, and Captain Hogg, making his appearance, went to dinner. But Miss Julia would not make her appearance, and Mr. Hicks was barely civil to the Captain, but he was soon afterwards called out, and our midshipman went into the office to enable the two lovers to meet. They were heard then talking together, and after a time they said less, and their language was more tender. Let us see what's going on, Jack, said Gascoigne, and they walked softly, so as to perceive the two lovers, who were too busy to be on the lookout. Captain Hogg was requesting a lock of his mistress's hair. The plump Julia could deny him nothing. She let fall her flaxen tresses, and, taking out the scissors, cut off a thick bunch from her hair behind, which she presented to the Captain. It was at least a foot and a half long, and an inch in circumference. The Captain took it in his immense hand, and thrust it into his coat pocket behind, but one thrust down to the bottom would not get it in, so he thrust again and again, until it was all coiled away like a cable in a tear. That's a liberal girl, whispered Jack. She gives us by wholesale what it will take some time to retail. But here comes Mr. Hicks. Let's give them warning. I like Hogg, and as she fancies pork she shall have it, if I can contrive to help them. That night Gascoigne went again on the roof, and, after waiting some time, heard the same air repeated. He waited until it was concluded, and then in a very low tone sung it himself to the words he had arranged for it. For some time all was silent, and then the singing recommenced, but it was not to the same air. Gascoigne waited till the new air had been repeated several times, and then, giving full scope to his fine tenor voice, sang the first air again. It echoed through the silence of the night air, and then he waited, but in vain. The soft voice of the female was heard no more, and Gascoigne retired to rest. This continued for three or four nights, Gascoigne singing the same air as the ensuing night that he had heard the proceeding, until at last it appeared that the female had no longer any fear, but changed the air so as to be amused with the repetition of them next evening. On the fifth night she sang the first air, a midshipman responding. She then sang another, until she had sung them all, waiting each time for the response. The wall was not more than eight feet high, and Gascoigne now determined, with the assistance of Jack, to have a sight of his unknown songstress. He asked Captain Hogg to bring on shore some inch line, and he contrived to make a ladder with three or four poles which were upstairs used for drying linen. He fixed them against the wall without noise, all ready for the evening. It was a beautiful clear moonlight night when he went up, accompanied by Jack. The air was again sung, and repeated by Gascoigne, who then softly mounted the ladder, held by Jack, and raised his head above the wall. He perceived a young Moorish girl, splendidly dressed, half lying on an ottoman, with her eyes fixed upon the moon, whose rays enabled him to observe that she was indeed beautiful. She appeared lost in contemplation, and Gascoigne would have given the world to have divined her thoughts. Satisfied with what he had seen, he descended, and, singing one of the airs, he then repeated the words, Do not be afraid, I love you, I cannot speak your language. And then sang another of the airs, and after he had finished, he again repeated the words in Arabic, but there was no reply. He sang the third air, and again repeated the words, when, to his delight, he heard an answer in lingua franca. Can you speak this tongue? Yes, replied Gascoigne, I can, Allah be praised, be not afraid, I love you. I know you not, who are you? You are not of my people. No, but I will be anything that you wish. I am a frank and an English officer. At this reply of Gascoigne there was a pause. Am I then despised? said Gascoigne. No, not despised, but you are not of my people or of my land. Speak no more, or you will be heard. I obey, replied Gascoigne, since you wish it, but I shall pine till tomorrow's moon. I go to dream of you, Allah protect you. How amazingly poetical you were in your language, Ned, said Easy, when they were down to their room. To be sure, Jack, I've read the Arabian Nights. You never saw such eyes in your life. What an houry she is! Is she as handsome as Agnes, Ned? Twice as handsome by moonlight? That's all moonshine, and so will be your courting, for it will come to nothing. Not if I can help it. Why, Gascoigne, what would you do with a wife? Just exactly what you would do, Jack? I mean, my dear Ned, can you afford to marry? Not while the old governor lives, but I know he has some money and the funds. He told me one day that I could not expect more than three thousand pounds. You know, I have sisters. And before you come into that, you'll have three thousand children. That's a large family, Jack! replied Gascoigne, bursting out into laughter, in which our hero joined. Well, you know I only wanted to argue the point with you. I know that, Jack, but I think we're counting our chickens before they're hatched, which is foolish. In every other case, except when we venture upon matrimony. Why, Jack, you're becoming quite sensible. My wisdom is for my friends, my folly for myself. Good night. But Jack did not go to sleep. I must not allow Gascoigne to do such a foolish thing, thought he. Marry a dark girl on a midshipman's pay if he succeeds. Get his throat cut if he does not. As Jack said, his wisdom was for his friends, and he was so generous that he reserved none for his own occasions. Miss Julia Hicks, as we before observed, sat the fashions at Tetuan, and her style of dress was not unbecoming. The Moorish women wore large veils, or they may be called what you will, for their headdresses descend to their heels at times, and cover the whole body, leaving an eye to peep with and hiding everything else. Now Miss Hicks found this much more convenient than the bonnet, as she might walk out in the heat of the sun without burning her fair skin, and stare at everybody and everything without being stared at in return. She therefore never went out without one of these overalls, composed of several yards of fine muslin. Her dress in the house was usually of coloured sarsenette, for a small vessel came into the port one day during her father's lifetime, unloaded a great quantity of bales of goods with English marks, and, as the vessel had gone out in ballast, there was a surmise on his part by what means they came into the captain's possession. He therefore sighted the captain up to the governor, but the affair was amicably arranged by the vice-consul, receiving about one-quarter of the cargo in bales of silk and muslins. Miss Hicks had therefore all her dresses of blue, green and yellow sarsenette, which, with the white muslin overall, made her as conspicuous as the only Frankish lady in the town had a right to be, and there was not a dog which barked in Tetuan, which did not know the sister of the vice-consul, although few had seen her face. Now it occurred to Jack, as Gascoigne was determined to carry on his armour, that, in case of surprise, it would be as well if he dressed himself as Miss Hicks. He proposed it to Gascoigne the next morning, who approved of the idea, and in the course of the day, when Miss Hicks was busy with Captain Hogg, he contrived to abstract one of her dresses and muslin overalls, which he could do in safety, as there were plenty of them, for Miss Hicks was not troubled with Mantua Maker's bills. When Gascoigne went up on the roof the ensuing night, he put on the apparel of Miss Hicks, and looked very like her as far as figure went, although a little taller. He waited for the Moorish girl to sing, but she did not, so he crept up the ladder and looked over the wall, when he observed that she was reclining as before in deep thought. His head covered with the muslin, caught her eye, and she gave a faint scream. Fear not, lady, said Gascoigne. It is not the first time that I have beheld that sweet face. I sigh for a companion. What would I not give to be sitting by your side? I am not of your creed, tis true, but does it therefore follow that we should not love each other? The Moorish girl was about to reply when Gascoigne received an answer from a quarter whence he little expected it. It was from the Moor himself, who, hearing his daughter scream, had come swiftly up to the roof. Does the Frankish lily wish to mingle her perfumes with the dark violet? said he, for he had often seen the sister of the vice consul, and he imagined it was she who had come on the roof and ascended the wall to speak with his daughter. Gascoigne had presence of mind to avail him of this fortunate mistake. I am alone, worthy Moor, replied he, pulling the muslin over his face, and I pine for a companion. I have been charmed by the nightingale on the roof of your dwelling, but I thought not to meet the face of a man when I took courage to climb this ladder. If the Frankish lily will have the courage to descend, she can sit by the side of the dark violet. Gascoigne thought it advisable to make no reply. Fear not, said the Old Moor. What is an old man but a woman? And the Moor brought a ladder which he placed against the wall. After a pause, Gascoigne said, It is my fate. And then he descended, and was led by the Moor to the mattress upon which his daughter reclined. The Moor then took his seat near them, and they entered into conversation. Gascoigne knew quite enough of the vice consul and his sister to play his part, and he thought proper to tell the Moor that her brother wished to give her as a wife to the captain of the ship, whom she abhorred, and would take her to a cold and foggy climate, that she had been born here, and wished to live and die here, and would prefer passing her life in his women's apartments to leaving this country. At which Abdul-Fazer, for such was his name, felt very amorous. He put his hand to his forehead, salamed, and told Gascoigne that his Zanana and all that were in it were hers, as well as his house and himself. After an hour's conversation in which Azar, his daughter, did not join, the old Moor asked Gascoigne to descend into the women's apartment, and observing his daughter's silence said to her, Azar, you are angry that this Frankish houry should come to the apartments of which you have hitherto been so mistress. Fear not, you will soon be another's, for Osman Ali has asked thee for his wife, and I have listened to his request. Now Osman Ali was as old as her father, and Azar hated him. She offered her hand tremblingly, and led Gascoigne into the Zanana. The Moor attended them to the threshold, bowed, and left them. That Gascoigne had time to press his suit, and that he did not lose such a golden opportunity, may easily be imagined, and her father's communication, relative to Osman Ali, very much assisted our midshipman's cause. He left the Zanana, like most midshipmen, in love. That is, a little above quick silver boiling heat. Jack, who had remained in a state of some suspense all this time, was not sorry to hear voices in an amicable tone, and in a few minutes afterwards he perceived that Gascoigne was ascending the ladder. It occurred to our hero that it was perhaps advisable that he should not be seen, as the Moor in his gallantry might come up the ladder with his supposed lady. He was right, for Abdul-Phaser not only followed her up the ladder on his side, but assisted her to descend on the other, and with great ceremony took his leave. Gascoigne hastened to Jack, who had been peering, and gave him a detailer what had passed, describing Azar as the most beautiful, fascinating and fun creature that ever was created. After half an hour's relation he stopped short, because he discovered that Jack was fast asleep. The visits of Gascoigne repeated every night. Old Abdul-Phaser became every time Moor gallant, and our midshipman was under the necessity of assuming a virtue, if he had it not. He pretended to be very modest. In the meantime Captain Hogg continued his attention to the real Miss Hicks. The mate proceeded to get the bullocks on board, and as more than three weeks had already passed away it was time to think of departing for too long. But Captain Hogg was too much in love, and as for Gascoigne he intended, like all midshipmen in love, to give up the service. Jack reasoned with the Captain, who appeared to listen to reason, because Miss Hicks had agreed to follow his fortune, and crown his transports in the transport Mary Anne. He therefore proposed that they should get away as fast as they could, and as soon as they had weighed the anchor he would come on shore, take off Miss Hicks, and make all sail for too long. Jack might have suffered this. The difficulty was with Gascoigne, who would not hear of going away without his lovely azure. At last Jack planned a scheme which he thought would succeed, and which would be a good joke to tell the Governor. He therefore appeared to consent to Gascoigne carrying off his little more, and they canvassed how it was to be managed. Jack then told Gascoigne that he had hit upon a plan which would succeed. I find, said he, from Captain Hogg, that he has an intention of carrying off Miss Hicks, and when I sounded him as to his having a lady with him, he objected to it immediately, saying that he must have all the cabin to himself and his intended. Now in the first place I have no notion of giving up the cabin to Miss Hicks or Misses Hogg. It would be very uncomfortable to be shut out because he wishes to make love. I therefore am determined that he shall not take off Miss Hicks. He has proposed to me that he shall go on board and get the brig underway, leaving me with a boat on shore to sign the vouchers, and that Miss Hicks shall slip into the boat when I go off at dusk. Now I will not bring off Miss Hicks. If he wants to marry her, let him do it when I am not on board. I have paid for everything, and I consider the cabin as mine. Look, Ned, if you wish to carry off your little more, there is but one way, and that is a very simple one. Leave her address of Miss Hicks when you go there to-morrow night, until I just slip down at dusk and come out of the house. All the danger will be in her own house, for as soon as she is out, she will be supposed to be the vice consul's sister, and will not be observed or questioned. I will look out and bring her on board instead of Miss Hicks. Hogg will have the brig underway, and will be too happy to make all sail, and she shall lock the cabin inside, so that no mistake shall be discovered till the next morning, and we shall have a good laugh at Captain Hogg. Gascoigne pronounced that Jack's scheme was capital, and agreed to it, thanking him, and declaring that he was the best friend that he ever had. So I will be, thought Jack, but you will not acknowledge it at first. Jack then went to Captain Hogg, and appeared to enter warmly into his views, but told him that Hicks suspected what was going on, and had told him so, at the same time declaring that he would not lose sight of his sister until after Hogg was on board. Now, says Jack, you know you cannot do the thing by main force, so the best plan will be for you to go on board and get under way, leaving me to bring off Miss Hicks, when her brother will imagine all danger to be over. Many thanks, Mr. Easy, replied Captain Hogg. It will be capital, and I'll arrange it all with my Sophie. How very kind of you. But Hogg, will you promise me secrecy? Yes, replied the Captain. That Gasgoin is a very silly fellow, and wants to run away with a girl he has made acquaintance with here. And what do you think he has proposed? That after the ship was under way, that I shall carry her off in the boat. And he has borrowed one of the dresses of Miss Hicks, that it may appear to be her. I have agreed to it, but as I am determined that he shall not commit such a folly, I shall bring off Miss Hicks instead. And observe, Hogg, that he is that sort of wild fellow, that if he was to find that I had cheated him, he would immediately go on shore and be left behind. Therefore we must hand Miss Hicks down in the cabin, and she will lock the door all night, so that he may not observe the trick until next morning. And then we shall have a fine laugh at him. Captain Hogg replied it would be an excellent joke, as Gasgoin did before him. Now it must be observed that the water and the bullocks and the sheep and the fowls were all on board, and Mr. Hicks, having received his money from Jack, had very much altered his manner. He was barely civil, for as he had got all he could out of our hero, he was anxious to get rid of him, as well as Captain Hogg. Our hero was very indignant at this, but as it would not suit his present views, pretended not to notice it. On the contrary, he professed the warmest friendship for the Vice-Consul, and took an opportunity of saying that he could not return his kindness in a better way than by informing him of the plot which had been arranged. He then told him of the intended escape of his sister, and that he was the person intended to bring her off. Infamous by heaven! cried the Vice-Consul. I shall write to the Foreign Office on the subject. I think, said Jack, it will be much better to do what I shall propose, which will end in a hearty laugh and the confusion of Captain Hogg. Do you dress yourself in your sister's clothes, and I will bring you off instead of her? Let him imagine that he has your sister secure. I will hand you down to the cabin, and do you lock yourself in? He cannot sail without my orders, and I will not sign the vouchers. The next morning we will open the cabin door and have a good laugh at him. Desire your boat to be off at daylight to take you on shore, and I will then make him proceed to too long forthwith. It will be a capital joke, so thought the Vice-Consul, as well as Gascoigne and Captain Hogg. He shook hands with Jack, and was as civil to him as before. That night Gascoigne left one of Miss Hicks's many dresses with Azar, who agreed to follow his fortune, and who packed up all the jewels and money she could lay her hands upon. Poor little child, she trembled with fear and delight. Miss Hicks smuggled, as she thought, a box of clothes on board, and in the box was her fortune of three hundred pounds. Mr. Hicks laughed in his sleeve, so did Jack, and everyone went to bed with expectations that their wishes would be realised. After an early dinner Captain Hogg and Gascoigne went on board, both squeezing Jack's hands as if they were never to see him again, and looks of intelligence passed between all the parties. As soon as they were out of the door the Vice-Consul chuckled, and Miss Hicks, who thought he'd chuckled at the idea of having rid himself of Captain Hogg, chuckled still more, as she looked at our hero, who was her confidant, and our hero, for reasons known to the reader, chuckled more than either of them. A little before dark the boat was sent on shore from the brig, which was now under way, and Mr. Hicks, as had been arranged, said that he should go into the office and prepare the vouchers. That is, put on his sister's clothes. Miss Hicks immediately rose, and wishing our hero a pleasant voyage, as had been agreed, said that she should retire for the night, as she had a bad headache. She wished her brother good night, and went into her room to wait another hour, when our hero, having shoved off the boat to deceive the Vice-Consul, was to return, meet her in the garden, and take her off to the brig. Our hero then went into the office, and assisted the Vice-Consul, who took off all his own clothes, and tied them up in a handkerchief, intending to resume them after he had gone into the cabin. As soon as he was ready, Jack carried his bundle, and led the supposed Miss Hicks down to the boat. They shoved off in a great hurry, and Jack took an opportunity of dropping Mr. Hicks's bundle overboard. As soon as they arrived alongside, Mr. Hicks ascended, and was handed by Jack down into the cabin. He squeezed Jack's hand as he entered, saying in a whisper, tomorrow morning, what a laugh we shall have! And then he locked the door. In the meantime, the boat was hooked on and hoisted up, and Jack took the precaution to have the deadlights lowered, that Mr. Hicks might not be able to ascertain what was going on. Gascoigne came up to our hero, and squeezed his hand. I'm so much obliged to you, Jack! I say, tomorrow morning, what a laugh we shall have! As soon as the boat was up, and the main yard filled, Captain Hog also came up to our hero, shaking him by the hand and thanking him. And he too concluded by saying, I say, Mr. Easy, tomorrow morning, what a laugh we shall have! Let those laugh, who win! thought Jack. The wind was fair, the watch was set, the course was steered, and all went down to their hammocks, and went to sleep, waiting for tomorrow morning. Mr. Hicks, also having nothing better to do, went to sleep, and by the morning dawn, the transport Mary Anne was more than a hundred miles from the African shore. Mr. Midshipman Easy, by Captain Frank Marriott, read by Adrian Pretzelis. We must leave the reader to imagine the effect of the next morning's denouement. Everyone was in a fury except Jack, who did nothing but laugh. The captain wanted to return to obtain Miss Hicks, Gasgoin to obtain Azzar, and the vice-consul to obtain his liberty. But the wind was foul for their return, and Jack soon gained the captain on his side. He pointed out to him that, in the first place, if he presumed to return, he would forfeit his charter-bond. In the second, he would have to pay for all the bullocks that died. In the third, that if he wished to take Miss Hicks as his wife, he must not first injure her character by having her on board before the solemnity. And lastly, that he could always go and marry her whenever he pleased. The brother could not prevent him. All this was very good advice, and the captain became quite calm and rational, and set his studying-sales below and aloft. As for Gasgoin, it was no use reasoning with him, so it was agreed that he should have satisfaction as soon as they could get on shore again. Mr. Hicks was the most violent. He insisted that the vessel should return, while both Jack and the captain refused, although he threatened them with the whole foreign office. He insisted upon having his clothes, but Jack replied that they had tumbled overboard as they pulled from the shore. He then commanded the mate and men to take the vessel back, but they laughed at him and his women's clothes. At all events I'll have you turned out of the service, said he to our hero and his fury. I shall be extremely obliged to you, said Jack, and Captain Hogg was so much amused with the vice consul's appearance in his sister's clothes that he quite forgot his own disappointment in laughing at his intended brother-in-law. He made friends again with Jack, who regained his ascendancy, and ordered out the porter on the capstone-head. They had an excellent dinner, but Mr. Hicks refused to join them, which however did not spoil the appetite of Jack or the captain. As for Gascoigne, he could not eat a mouthful, but he drank to excess, looking over the rim of his tumbler as if he could devour our hero, who only laughed the more. Mr. Hicks had applied to the men to lend him some clothes, but Jack had foreseen that, and he was omnipotent. There was not a jacket or a pair of trousers to be had for love or money. Mr. Hicks then considered it advisable to lower his tone, and he applied to Captain Hogg, who begged to be excused without he consented his marriage with his sister, to which Mr. Hicks gave his indignant negative. He then applied to Gascoigne, who told him in a very surly tone to go to hell. At last he applied to our hero, who laughed and said that he would see him damned first, so Mr. Hicks sat down in his petticoats and vowed revenge. Gascoigne, who had drunk much and eaten nothing, turned in and went to sleep, while Captain Hogg and our hero drank porter in the capstone. Thus passed the first day, and the wind was famously fair. The Bullocks Load, the Cox crew, the Sheep Bard and the Mary Anne made upwards of two hundred miles. Jack took possession of the other berth in the captain, and his Majesty's representative was obliged to lie down in his petticoats upon a topsel which lay between decks, with a bullock on each side of him, who, every now and then, made a dart at him with their horns, as if they knew that it was to him that they were indebted for their embarkation, and being destined to drive the scurvy out of the too long fleet. We cannot enter into the details of the passage, which, as the wind was fair, was accomplished in ten days without the loss of a bullock. During this time Mr. Hicks condescended to eat without speaking, imagining that the hour of retribution would come when they joined the admiral. Gascoigne gradually recovered himself, but did not speak to our hero, who continued to laugh and drink porter. On the eleventh morning they were in the midst of the too long fleet, and Mr. Hicks smiled exultingly as he passed our hero in his petticoats, and wondered that Jack showed no signs of trepidation. The fleet hoped to, Jack ran under the admiral's stern and lowered down his boat and went on board, showed his credentials, and reported his bullocks. The general signal was made. There was a fair division of the spoil, and then the admiral asked our hero whether the muster of the transport had any other stock on board. Jack replied that he had not, but that, having been told by the Governor of Malta that they might be acceptable, he had brought a few sheep and some dozen of fowls, which were much at his service, if he would accept of them. The admiral was much obliged to the Governor and also to Jack for thinking of him, but would not, of course, accepted the stock without paying for them. He requested him to send all of them on board that he could spare, and then asked Jack to dine with him, for Jack had put on his best attire and looked very much of a gentleman. Mr. Easy, said the flag captain, who had been looking at the transport with his glass, is that the master's wife on board? Ah, no, sir, replied Jack, it's the Vice Consul. What, in petticoats, the Vice Consul? Yes, the Vice Consul of Tetuan. He came on board in that dress when the brig was under way, and I considered it my duty not to delay being aware how very important it was that the fleet should be provided with fresh beef. What is all this, Mr. Easy? said the admiral. There has been some trick here. You will oblige me by coming into the cabin. Easy followed the admiral and the flag captain into the cabin, and then boldly told the whole story how he tricked them all. It was impossible for either of them to help laughing, and when they began to laugh, it was almost impossible to stop. Mr. Easy, said the admiral at last, I do not altogether blame you. It appears to me that the captain of the transport would have been delayed sailing, because he was in love, and that Mr. Gascoigne would have stayed behind, because he was infatuated, independent of the ill will against the English, which would have been excited by the abduction of the girl. But I think you might have contrived to manage all that without putting the Vice Consul in petticoats. I acted to the best of my judgment, sir, replied Jack, very humbly. And altogether you have done well. Captain Malcolm, send a boat for the Vice Consul. Mr. Hicks was too impatient to tell his wrongs to care for his being in his sister's clothes. He came on board, and although the tittering was great, he imagined that it would soon be all in his favour when it was known that he was a diplomatic. He told his story and waited for the decision of the admiral, which was to crush our hero, who stood with the midshipman on the lee side of the deck. But the admiral replied, Mr. Hicks, in the first place, this appears to me to be a family affair concerning the marriage of your sister, with which I have nothing to do. You went on board of your own free will in women's clothes. Mr. Easey's orders were positive, and he obeyed them. It was his duty to sail as soon as the transport was ready. You may forward your complaint, if you please, but as a friend I tell you that it will probably occasion your dismissal, for these kind of pranks are not understood at the Foreign Office. You may return to the transport, which, after she has touched at my home, will proceed again to Tetuan. The boat is alongside, sir. Mr. Hicks, astonished at the want of respect paid to a vice consul, shoved his petticoats between his legs, and went down the side amidst the laughter of the whole ship's company. Our hero dined with the admiral, and was well received. He got his orders to sail that night for Menorca, and as soon as dinner was over he returned on board, where he found Captain Hogg very busy selling his porter, Gascoigne walking the deck in a brown studdy, and Mr. Hicks, soulless, abaffed, sulking in his petticoats. As soon as they were clear of the boats, the merry Anne hoisted her ensign and made sail, and as all the porter was not yet sold, Jack ordered up a bottle. Jack was much pleased with the result of his explanation with the admiral, and he felt that for once he had not only got into no scrape himself, but that he had prevented others. Gascoigne walked the deck gloomily. The fact was that he was very unhappy. He had had time to reflect, and now that the first violence had subsided, he felt that our hero had done him a real service, and had prevented him from committing an act of egregious folly, and yet he had summoned this friend to meet him in the field, and such had been his gratitude. He would have given the world to recall what had passed, and to make friends, but he felt ashamed, as most people do, to acknowledge his error. He had, however, almost made up his mind to do it, and was walking up and down, thinking in what manner he might contrive it, when Jack, who was sitting, as usual, in a chair by the capstone with his porter by him, said to himself, Now I'll lay my life that Ned wants to make friends, and is ashamed to speak first. I may be mistaken, and he may fly off a detangent, but even if I am, at all events it will not be I who am wrong. I'll try him. Jack waited till Gascoigne passed him again, and then said, looking kindly and knowingly in his face, I say, Ned, will you have a glass of porter? Gascoigne smiled, and Jack held out his hand. The reconciliation was affected in a moment, and the subject of the quarrel was not canvassed by either party. We shall be at Menorca in a day or two, observed Jack after a while. Now I shall be glad to get there. Do you know, Ned, that I feel very much satisfied with myself? I've got into no scrape this time, and shall not withstanding have a good story to tell the Governor when I go to Malta. Partly at my expense, replied Gascoigne. Why, you will figure a little in it, but others will figure much more. I wonder what has become of that poor girl, observed Gascoigne, who could not refrain from mentioning her. What hurts me most is that she must think me such a brute. No doubt of that, Ned. Take another glass of porter. Her father gave me this large diamond. The old goat sell it and drink his health with it. No, I'll keep it in memory of his daughter. Here Gascoigne fell into a melancholy reverie, and Jack thought of Agnes. In two days they arrived at Mahon and found the Aurora already there in the command of Captain Wilson. Mr. Hicks had persuaded Captain Hogg to furnish him with clothes, Jack having taken off the injunction as soon as he had quitted the admiral. Mr. Hicks was aware that if the admiral would not listen to his complaint it was no use speaking to a captain, so he remained on board a pensioner upon Captain Hogg, and after our midshipmen quitted the transport they became very good friends. Mr. Hicks consented to the match, and Captain Hogg was made happy. As for poor Azar, she had wandered about until she was tired in Miss Hicks's dress, and at last returned brokenhearted to her father's, and was admitted by Abdul-father himself. He imagined it was Miss Hicks and was in transports. He discovered it was his daughter, and he was in a fury. The next day she went to the Zanana of Osman Ali. When Jack reported himself he did not tell the history of the elopements, that he might not hurt the feelings of Gascoigne. Captain Wilson was satisfied with the manner in which he had executed his orders, and asked him whether he preferred staying in the Harpy or following him into the Aurora. Jack hesitated. Speak frankly, Mr. Easy, if you prefer Captain Sawbridge to me I shall not be affronted. No, sir, replied Easy. I do not prefer Captain Sawbridge to you. You have both been equally kind to me, but I prefer you. But the fact is, sir, I do not much like to part with Gascoigne, or—or who? said the Captain, smiling. With Mestie, sir, you may think me very foolish, but I should not be alive at this moment if it had not been for him. I do not consider gratitude to be foolish, Mr. Easy, replied Captain Wilson. Mr. Gascoigne I intend to take with me, if he chooses to come, as I have a great respect for his father, and no fault to find with him, that is, generally speaking. But, as for Mestie, why, he is a good man, and—and as you have behaved yourself very well, perhaps I may think of it. The next day Mestie was included among the boat's crew taken with him by Captain Wilson, according to the regulations of the service, and appointed to the same situation under the master-at-arms of the Aurora. Gascoigne and our hero were also discharged into the frigate. As our hero never has shown any remarkable predilection for duty, the reader will not be surprised at his requesting from Captain Wilson a few days on shore, previous to his going on board of the Aurora. Captain Wilson allowed the same licence to Gascoigne, as they had both been cooped up for some time on board of a transport. Our hero took up his quarters at the only respectable hotel in the town, and whenever they could meet an officer of the Aurora, he very politely begged the pleasure of his company to dinner. Jack's reputation had gone on before him, and the midshipman drank his wine and swore that he was a Trump, not that Jack was to be deceived, but upon the principles of equality he argued that it was the duty of those who could afford dinners to give them to those who could not. This was a sad error on Jack's part, but he had not yet learnt the value of money. He was such a fool as to think that the only real use of it was to make other people happy. It must however be offered in his extenuation that he was a midshipman, and a philosopher, and not yet a teen. At last Jack had remained so long on shore keeping open house, and the first lieutenant of the Aurora found the officers so much more anxious for leave, now that they were at little or no expense, that he sent him a very polite message requesting the pleasure of his company on board that evening. Jack returned an equally polite answer, informing the first lieutenant that, not being aware that he wished to see him, he had promised to accompany some friends to a masquerade that night, but that he would not fail to pay his respects to him the next day. The first lieutenant admitted the excuse and our hero, after having entertained half a dozen of the auroras, for the half he had sailed two days before, dressed himself for the masquerade, which was held in a church about two miles and a half from Mahon. Jack had selected the costume of the devil, as being the most appropriate, and mounting on a Jack ass, he rode down in his dress to the masquerade. But as Jack was going in, he perceived a yellow carriage with two footmen in gaudy liveries draw up, and with his usual politeness, when the footmen opened the door, offered his arm to hand out a fat old dowager covered with diamonds. The lady looked up, and perceiving Jack covered with hair with his trident and his horns, and a long tail, gave a loud scream, and would have fallen had it not been for Captain Wilson, who, in his full uniform, was coming in, and quarter in his arms. While the old lady thanked him, and Captain Wilson bowed, Jack hastily retreated. I shall make no conquests tonight, thought he. So he entered the church and joined the crowd, but it was so dense that it was hardly possible to move, and our hero soon got tired of flourishing his trident and sticking it into people, who wondered what the devil he meant. This is stupid work, thought Jack. I may have more fun outside. So Jack put on his cloak, left the mass-grade, and went out in search of adventures. He walked into the open country about half a mile until he came to a splendid house, standing in a garden of orange trees, which he determined to reconnoitre. He observed that a window was open, and lights were in the room, and he climbed up to the window, and just opened the white curtain, and looked in. On a bed lay an elderly person, evidently dying, and by the side of the bed were three priests, one of whom held the crucifix in his hand, another the censor, and the third was sitting at a table with a paper, pen, and ink. As Jack understood Spanish, he listened, and heard one of the priests say, Your sins have been enormous, my son, and I cannot give you extreme unction or absolution unless you make some amends. I have, answered the moribund, left money for ten thousand masses, Toby said, for my soul. Five hundred thousand masses are not sufficient. How have you gained your enormous wealth by usury and robbing the poor? I have left a thousand dollars to be distributed among the poor on the day of my funeral. One thousand dollars is nothing. You must leave all your property to the holy church. And my children, replied the dying man faintly, What are your children compared to your salvation? Reply not, either consent, or not only do I refuse you the consolation of the dying, but I excommunicate. Mercy, holy father, mercy, said the old man in a dying voice. There is no mercy. You are damned for ever and ever. Amen. Now hear, excommunicabo, te, stop, stop. Have you the papers ready? It is here, already, by which you revoke all former wills, and endow the holy church with your property. We will read it, for, God forbid, that it should be said that the holy church received an involuntary gift. I will sign it, replied the dying man, But my sight fails me. Be quick, absolve me. And the paper was signed with difficulty as the priests supported the dying man. And now, absolve me. I do absolve thee, replied the priest, who then went through the ceremony. Now this is a confounded, rascally business, said Jack to himself, who then dropped his cloak, jumped upon the window sill, opened wide the curtain windows with both hands, and uttered a yelling kind of, ha ha ha. The priests turned round, saw the demon as they imagined, dropped the paper on the table, and threw themselves with their faces on the floor. Exorcizote, stammered one, ha ha ha. Repeated Jack, entering the room, and taking out the paper which he burned by the flame of the candle. A hero looked at the old man on the bed. His jaw had fallen, his eyes were turned, he was dead. Jack then gave one more, ha ha ha. To keep the priests in their places, blew out the candles, and made a spring out of the window, caught up his cloak, and disappeared as fast as his legs could carry him. Jack ran till he was out of breath, and then he stopped and sat down by the side of the road. It was broad moonlight, and Jack knew not where he was. But Menorca has not many high roads, thought Jack, and I shall find my way home. Now let me see. I have done some good this evening. I have prevented those rogues from disinheriting a family. I wonder who they are. They ought to be infinitely obliged to me. But if the priests find me out, what shall I do? I never dare come on shore again. They'll have me in the inquisition. I wonder where I am, said Jack. I will get on that hill, and see if I can take a departure. The hill was formed by the road being cut perpendicularly almost through it, and was perhaps some twelve or fourteen feet high. Jack ascended it and looked about him. There is the sea at all events, with the full moon silvering the waves, said Jack, turning from the road. And here is the road, and then that must be the way to Port Mahone. But what comes here? It's a carriage. Why? It's the yellow carriage of that old lady with her diamonds, and her two splashy footmen. Jack was watching it as it passed the road under him, when of a sudden he perceived about a dozen men rush out and seize the horse's heads, a discharge of firearms, the coachman dropped off the box, and the two footmen dropped from behind. The robbers then opened the door, and were hauling out the fat old lady covered with diamonds. Jack thought a second. It occurred to him that although he could not cope with so many, he might frighten them as he had frightened one set of robbers already that night. The old lady had just been tumbled out of the carriage door, like a large bundle of clothes tied up for the wash, when Jack, throwing off his cloak and advancing to the edge of the precipice, with the full moon behind him, throwing out his figure in strong relief, raised his trident, and just as they were raising their knives, yelled a most unearthly, The robbers looked up, and forgetting the masquerade, for there is a double tremor in guilt, screamed with fear. Most of them ran away and dropped after a hundred yards. The others remained paralyzed and insensible. Jack descended the hill, went to the assistance of the old lady, who had swooned, and had put her into the carriage. But although our hero was very strong, this was a work of no small difficulty. After one or two attempts, he'd lowered down the steps, and contrived to bump her on the first. From the first, he purchased her on the second, and from the second, he at last seated her at the door of the carriage. Jack had no time to be over-polite. He then threw her back into the bottom of the carriage. Her heels went up to the top. Jack shoved in her petticoats as fast as he could, for decency, and then, shutting the door, seized the reins and jumped upon the box. I don't know the way, thought Jack, but we must need go when the devil drives. So, sticking his trident into the horses, they set off at a rattling pace, passing over the bodies of the two robbers who had holed the reins, and who both lay before him in a swoon. As soon as he had brought the horses into a trot, he slackened the reins, for, as Jack wisely argued, they were certain to go home if I let them have their own way. The horses, before they arrived at the town, turned off and stopped at a large country house. That he might not frighten the people, Jack had put on his cloak and taken off his mask and headpiece, which he had laid beside him on the box. At the sound of the carriage wheels, the servants came out, when Jack, in a few words, told them what had happened. Some of the servants ran in, and a young lady made her appearance. While the others were helping the old lady out of the carriage, who had recovered her senses, but had been so much frightened that she had remained in the posture in which Jack had put her. As soon as she was out, Jack descended from the coach-box, and entered the house. He stated to the young lady what had taken place, and how opportunally he had frightened away the robbers, just as they were about to murder her relation, and also suggested the propriety of sending after the servants who had fallen in the attack, which was immediately done by a strong, well-armed party collected for the occasion. Jack, having made his speech, made a very polite bow and took his leave, stating that he was an English officer belonging to a frigate in the harbour. Jack knew his way back, and in half an hour was at a gain at the inn, and found his comrades. Jack thought it advisable to keep his own secret, and therefore merely said that he had taken a long walk in the country, and soon afterwards went to bed. The next morning our hero, who was always a man of his word, packed up his portmanteau and paid his bill. He had just completed this heavy operation, when somebody wanted to speak to him, and a sort of half-clerical, half-legal sort of gentleman was introduced, who, with a starched face and prim air, said that he came to request in writing the name of the officer who was dressed as a devil in the masquerade of the night before. Jack looked at his interrogator and thought of the priests and the inquisition. No, no, thought he. That won't do. A name I must give, but it shall be one that you dare not meddle with. A midshipman you might get hold of, but it's more than the whole island dare to touch a post-captain of one of his majesty's frigates. So Jack took the paper and wrote Captain Henry Wilson of his majesty's ship Aurora. The prim man made a prim bow, folded up the paper, and left the room. Jack threw the waiter half a doubloon, lighted his cigar, and went on board. End of Chapter 24. Chapter 25 of Mr. Midshipman Easy. This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Mr. Midshipman Easy by Captain Frank Marriott, read by Adrian Pretzelis. Chapter 25. In which the old proverb is illustrated, that you must not count your chickens before they are hatched. The first lieutenant of the Aurora was a very good officer in many respects, but as a midshipman he had contracted the habit of putting his hands in his pockets, and could never keep them out, even when the ship was in a gale of wind, and the hands are of some use in a heavy lurch. He had more than once received a serious injury from falling on these occasions, but the habit was too powerful, and although he had once broken his leg by falling down the hatchway, and had moreover a large scar on his forehead, received from being thrown to Liewit against one of the guns, he still continued the practice. Indeed, it was said that once when it was necessary for him to go aloft, he had actually taken the two first rounds out of the Jacob's Ladder, without withdrawing them. Indeed, losing his balance, he discovered that it was not quite so easy to go aloft with his hands in his pockets. In fact, there was no getting up his hands, even when all hands were turned up. He had another peculiarity, which was that he had taken a particular fancy to a quack medicine, called Enyoys Universal Medicine for All Mankind, and Mr. Potifar was convinced in his own mind that the label was no liable, except from the greatness of its truth. In his opinion it cured everything, and he spent one of his quarterly bills every year in bottles of this stuff, which he not only took himself every time he was unwell, but occasionally when quite well, to prevent his falling sick. He recommended it to everybody in the ship, and nothing pleased him so much as to give a dose of it to everyone who could be persuaded to take it. The officers laughed at him, but it was generally behind his back, for he became very angry if contradicted upon this one point, upon which he certainly might be considered to be a little cracked. He was indefatigable in making proselytes to his creed, and expatiated upon the virtues of the medicine for an hour running, proving the truth of his assertions by a pamphlet which, with his hands, he always carried in his trousers pocket. Jack reported himself when he came on board, and Mr. Potifar, who was on the quarter-deck at the time, expressed the hope that Mr. Easy would take his share of the duty, now that he had had such a spell on shore. To which Jack very graciously acceded, and then went down below, where he found Gascoigne and his new messmates, with most of whom he was already acquainted. Well, Easy, said Gascoigne, have you had enough of the shore? Quite, replied Jack, recollecting that, after the events of the night before, he was just as well on board. I don't intend to ask for any more leave. Perhaps it's quite as well, for Mr. Potifar is not very liberal on that score, I can tell you. There is but one way of getting leave from him. Indeed, replied Jack, and what is that? You must pretend that you are not well, take some of his quack medicine, and then he will allow you a run on shore to work it off. Oh, that's it, is it? Well then, as soon as we anchor in Vallette, I'll go through a regular course, but not till then. It ought to suit you, Jack, it's an equality medicine, cures one disorder just as well as the other, or kills, which levels all the patients. You're right, Gascoigne, I must patronise that stuff for more reasons than one. Who was that person on deck in Mufti? The Mufti, Jack, in other words, the chaplain of the ship, but he's a prime sailor nevertheless. How's that? Why, he was brought up on the quarter-deck, served his time, was acting lieutenant for two years, and then, somehow or other, he bore up for the church. Indeed, what were his reasons? No one knows, but they say he has been unhappy ever since. Why so? Because he did a very foolish thing, which cannot now be remedied. He supposed at the time that he would make a good parson, and now that he has long got over his fit, he finds himself wholly unfit for it. He is still the officer at heart, and is always struggling with his natural bent, which is very contrary to what a parson should feel. Why don't they allow parsons to be broke by a court-martial and turned out of the service, or to resign their commissions like other people? Oh, it won't do, Jack, they serve heaven. There's a difference between that and serving his majesty. Well, I don't understand these things. When do we sail? The day after tomorrow. To join the fleet of Tula? Yes, but I suppose we shall be driven on the Spanish coast going there. I never knew a man of war that was not. No, wind always blows from the south going up the Mediterranean. Perhaps you'll take another prize, Jack. Mind you don't go away without the articles of war. I won't go away without Mesti if I can help it. Oh, dear, how abominable a midshipman's birth is after a long run on shore. I positively must go on deck and look at the shore if I can do nothing else. Why, ten minutes ago you had enough of it. Yes, but ten minutes here has made me feel quite sick. I shall go to the first left tenant for a dose. I say easy, we must be both physically on the same day. To be sure, but stop till we get to Malta. Jack went on deck, made acquaintance with the chaplain and some of the officers whom he had not known, then climbed up into the main top, where he took a seat on the arm list, and as he looked at the shore, thought over the events that had passed, until Agnes came to his memory, and he thought only of her. When a mid is in love, he always goes aloft to think of the object of his affection. Why, I don't know, except that his reverie is not so likely to be disturbed by an order from a superior officer. The aurora sailed on the second day, and with a fine breeze stood across, making as much northern as easting. The consequence was that, one fine morning they saw the Spanish coast before they saw the too long fleet. Mr. Potiphar took his hands out of his pockets, because he could not examine the coast through a telescope without so doing. But this, it is said, was the first time that he had done so on the quarter-deck from the day that the ship had sailed from Port Mahon. Captain Wilson was also occupied with his telescope, so were many of the officers in midshipmen, and the men at the mast heads used their eyes. But there was nothing but a few small fishing boats to be seen, so they all went down to breakfast, as the ship was hoeved to, close in with the land. What will easy bet, said one of the midshipmen, that we don't see a prize today? I will not bet that we do not see a vessel, but I will bet you, what you please, that we do not take one before twelve o'clock at night. No, no, that won't do. Just let the teapot travel over this way, for it's my four-noon watch. It's a fine morning, observed one of the mates by the name of Martin, but I have a notion it won't be a fine evening. Why not? inquired another. I've now been eight years in the Mediterranean and know something about the weather. There's a watery sky and the wind is very steady. If we are not under double reef topsoils tonight, say I'm no conjurer. That ye will be all the same if ye are under bare poles, said another. You're devilishly free with your tongue, my youngster. Easy, pull easy as for me. Pull them easy, Jack, then, said the boy, laughing. All hands make sail, now resounded at the hatchways. There they are, depend upon it, cried Gascoigne, catching up his hat and bolting out of the berth, followed by all the others except Martin, who had just been relieved and thought that his presence in the waste might be dispensed with for the short time at least, which it took him to swallow a cup of tea. It was very true. A galliot and four Lantine vessels had just made their appearance round the eastern most point, and as soon as they observed the frigate had hauled their wind. In a minute the aurora was under a press of canvas, and the telescopes were all directed at the vessels. All deeply laden, sir, observed Mr. Hawkins, the chaplain, how the topsoil of that galliot is scored. They have a fresh breeze just now, observed Captain Wilson to the first lieutenant. Yes, sir, and it's coming down fast. Hands by the royal haliads there. The aurora careened with the canvas to the rapidly increasing breeze. Top gallant sheets and haliads. Lough you may, quartermaster, lough I tell you. A small pull of that weather-main-top gallant brace. That'll do, said the master. Top men aloft there. Stand by to clue up the royals and Captain Wilson, shall we take them in? I'm afraid of that pole. It bends now like a coach whip, said Mr. Potifar, looking up aloft with his hands in both pockets. In royals, lure away. They're going about, sir, said the second lieutenant, Mr. Haswell. Look out, observed the chaplain. It's coming. Again the breeze increased, and the frigate was born down. Hands reefed topsoils in stays, Mr. Potifar. Aye-aye, sir, about ship. The helm was put down, and the topsoils lowered and reefed in stays. Very well, my lads. Very well indeed, said Captain Wilson. Again the topsoils were hoisted, and the top gallant sheets home. It was a strong breeze, although the water was smooth, and the aurora dashed through at the rate of eight miles an hour, with her weather leeches lifting. Didn't I tell you so? said Martin to his messmates on the gangway. But there's more yet, my boys. We must take the top gallant sails off her, said Captain Wilson, looking aloft. For the frigate now careened to her bearings, and the wind was increasing and squally. Let them try a little longer. But another squall came suddenly. The halyards were lowered, and the sails clued up and furled. In the meantime the frigate had rapidly gained upon the vessels, which still carried on every stitch of canvas, making short tacks in shore. The aurora was again put about with her head toward them, and they were not two points on her weather bow. The sky which had been clear in the morning was now overcast. The sun was obscured with opaque white clouds, and the sea was rising fast. Another ten minutes, and then they were under double reef topsoils, and the squalls were accompanied with heavy rain. The frigate now dashed through the waves, foaming in her course, and straining under the press of sail. The horizon was so thick that the vessels ahead were no longer to be seen. We shall have it, I expect, said Captain Wilson. Didn't I say so? observed Martin to Gascoigne. We take no prizes this day, depend upon it. We must have another hand to the wheel, sir, if you please, said the quartermaster, who was assisting the helmsman. Mr. Potifar, with his hands concealed as usual, stood by the capstan. I fear, sir, we cannot carry the mainsail much longer. No, observed the chaplain. I was thinking so. Captain Wilson, if you please, we are very close in, said the master. Don't you think we had better go about? Yes, Mr. Jones, hands about ship, and yes, by heavens we must, up mainsail. The mainsail was taken off, and the frigate appeared to be immediately relieved. She no longer joked and plunged as before. We are very near the land, Captain Wilson. Thick as it is, I think I could make out the loom of it. Shall we wear round, sir? continued the master. Yes, hands were ship, put the helm up. It was, but just in time, for as the frigate flew round, describing a circle as she paid off before the wind, they could perceive the breakers lashing the precipitous coast, not two cables length from them. I had no idea we were so near. Observed the captain, compressing his lips. Can they see anything of those vessels? I have not seen them this quarter of an hour, sir, replied the signalman, protecting his glass from the rain under his jacket. How's her head now, quartermaster? South, southeast, sir. The sky now assumed a different appearance. The white clouds had been exchanged for others, dark and murky. The wind roared at intervals, and the rain came down in torrents. Captain Wilson went down into the cabin to examine the barometer. The barometer has risen, said he on his return on deck. Is the wind steady? No, sir, she is up and off three points. This will end in a southwester. The wet and heavy sails now flapped from the shifting of the wind. Up with the helm, quartermaster? Up it is, she's off to south by west. The wind lulled. The rain came down in a deluge. For a minute it was quite calm, and the frigate was on an even keel. Man, the braces! We shall be taken aback directly, depend upon it. The braces were hardly stretched along before this was the case. The wind flew round to the southwest with a loud roar, and it was fortunate that they were prepared. The yards were braced round, and the master asked the captain what course they were to steer. We must give it up, observed Captain Wilson, holding on by the belaying pin. Shape our course for Cape Siki, Mr. Jones. The aurora flew before the gale, under her fossil and topsoil's close reefed. The weather was now so thick that nothing could be observed twenty yards from the vessel. The thunder peeled, and the lightning darted in every direction over the dark expanse. The watch was called as soon as the sails were trimmed, and all who could went below, wet, uncomfortable, and disappointed. What an old Jonah you are, Martin, said Gascoigne. Yes, I am, replied he, but we have the worst of it to come yet, in my opinion. I recollect not two hundred miles from where we are now, we had just such a gale in the favourite, and we as nearly went down when, at this moment a tremendous noise was heard above. A shock was felt throughout the whole ship, which trembled far and aft, as if it was about to fall to pieces. Loud shrieks were followed by plaintive cries. The lower deck was filled with smoke, and the frigate was down on her beam ends. Without exchanging a word, the whole of the occupants of the berth flew out, amour up on the hatchway, not knowing what to think, but convinced that some dreadful accident had taken place. On their gaining the deck it was at once explained. The foremaster of the frigate had been struck by lightning, had been riven into several pieces, and had fallen over the laboured bow, carrying with it the main topmaster and jibboom. The jagged stump of the foremaster was in flames and burned brightly, notwithstanding the rain fell in torrents. The ship, as soon as the foremaster and main topmaster had gone overboard, broached too furiously, throwing the men over the wheel, and dashing them senseless against the caronades. The folksle, the forepart of the main deck, and even the lower deck, were spread with men, either killed or seriously wounded, or insensible from the electric shock. The frigate was on her beam ends, and the sea broke furiously over her. All was dark as pitch, except the light from the blazing stump of the foremaster, appearing like a torch, held up by the wild demons of the storm, or when, occasionally the gleaming lightning cast a momentary glare, threatening every moment to repeat its attack upon the vessel, while the deafening thunder burst almost on their devoted heads. All was dismay and confusion for a minute or two. At last Captain Wilson, who had himself lost his sight for a short time, called for the carpenter and axes. They climbed up, that is, two or three of them, and he pointed to the mizzen mast. The master was also there, and he cut loose the axes for the seamen to use. In a few minutes the mizzen mast fell over the quarter, and the helm being put hard up, the frigate paid off, and slowly righted. But the horror of the scene was not yet over. The boson who had been on the folksle had been led below, for his vision was gone forever. The men who lay scattered about had been examined, and they were assisting them down to the care of the surgeon when the cry of fire issued from the lower deck. The ship had taken fire at the coal-hole and the carpenter's storeroom, and the smoke that now ascended was intense. Call the drummer, said Captain Wilson, and let him beat to quarters, all hands to their stations. Let the pumps be rigged, and the buckets passed along. Mr. Martin, see that the wounded men are taken below. Where's Mr. Haswell? Mr. Potifar? Station the men to pass the water on, hand by hand on the lower deck. I will go there myself. Mr. Jones, take charge of the ship. Potifar, who had actually taken his hands out of his pockets, hastened down to comply with the captain's orders on the main deck, as Captain Wilson descended to the deck below. I say, Jack, this is very different from this morning, observed Gascoigne. Yes, replied Jack. So it is, but I say, Gascoigne, what's the best thing to do? When a chimney's on fire on shore, they put a wet blanket over it. Yes, replied Gascoigne. But when the coal-holes on fire on board, they will not find that sufficient. At all events wet blankets must be a good firing, Ned, so let us pull out the hammocks, cut the lanyards, and get some out. We can, but offer them, you know. And if they do no good, at least it will show our zeal. Yes, Jack, and I think that when they turn in again, those whose blankets you take will agree with you, that zeal makes the service very uncomfortable. However, I think you are right. The two midshipmen collected three or four hands, and in a very short time they had more blankets than they could carry. There was no trouble in wetting them, for the main deck was a float, and, followed by the men they had collected, easy and Gascoigne went down with large bundles in their arms to where Captain Wilson was giving directions to the men. Excellent, Mr. Easy, excellent, Gascoigne, said Captain Wilson. Come, my lads, throw them over now, and stamp upon them well. The men's jackets and the captain's coat had already been sacrificed to the same object. Easy called the other midshipmen, and they went up for a further supply, but there was no occasion. The fire had been smothered. Still the danger had been so great that the four magazine had been floated. During all this, which lasted perhaps a quarter of an hour, the frigate had rolled gun-lunder, and many were the accidents which occurred. At last all danger from fire had ceased, and the men were ordered to return to their quarters, when three officers and forty-seven men were found absent. Seven of them were dead, most of them were already under the care of the surgeon, but some were still lying in the scuppers. No one had been more active or more brave during this time of danger than Mr. Hawkins, the chaplain. He was everywhere, and when Captain Wilson went down to put out the fire, he was there, encouraging the men and exerting himself most gallantly. He and Mesty came aft when all was over, one just as black as the other. The chaplain sat down and wrung his hands. God forgive me, said he, God forgive me. Why so, sir? said Easy, who stood near. I'm sure you need not be ashamed of what you have done. No, not ashamed of what I have done, but, Mr. Easy, I have sworn such oaths at the men in haste. I, the chaplain, God forgive me, I meant nothing. It was true that Mr. Hawkins had sworn a great deal during his exertions, but he was at that time the quarter-deck officer and not the chaplain. The example to the men and his gallantry had been most serviceable. Indeed, sir, said Easy, who saw the chaplain was in great tribulation and hoped to pacify him. I was certainly not there all the time, but I only heard you say, God bless you, my men, be smart, and so on. Surely that is not swearing. Was it that I said, Mr. Easy? Are you sure? I really had an idea that I had damned them all in heaps, as some of them deserved. No, no, not deserved. Did I really bless them, and nothing but bless them? Jethar, said Mesti, who perceived what Jack wanted. It was nothing, I assure you, but God bless your captain, Wilson. Bless your heart, my good men, bless the king, and so on. You do nothing but sure-done blessings and wet blanket. I told you so, said Jack. Well, Mr. Easy, you have made me very happy, replied the chaplain. I was afraid it was otherwise. So indeed it was, for the chaplain had sworn like a boson. But as Jack and Mesti had turned all his curses into blessings, the poor man gave himself absolution, and shaking hands with Jack, hoped he would come down into the gun room and take a glass of grog. Nor did he forget Mesti, who received a good allowance at the gun room door, to which Jack gladly consented, as the rum at the middies' birth had all been exhausted after the rainy morning, but Jack was interrupted in his third glass by someone telling him the captain wanted to speak with Mr. Hawkins and with him. Jack went up and found the captain on the quarter-deck with the officers. Mr. Easy, said Captain Wilson, I have sent for you, Mr. Hawkins and Mr. Gascoigne, to thank you on the quarter-deck for your exertions and presence of mind on this trying occasion. Mr. Hawkins made a bow. Gascoigne said nothing, but he thought of having extra leave when they arrived at Malta. Jack felt inclined to make a speech, and began something about when there was danger that it levelled everyone to an equality even on board a man of war. A by no means Mr. Easy, replied Captain Wilson, it does the very contrary, for it proves which is the best man, and those who are the best raise themselves at once above the rest. Jack was very much inclined to argue the point, but he took the compliment and held his tongue, which was the wisest thing he could have done, so he made his bow and was about to go down into the midshipman's birth when the frigate was pooped by a tremendous sea which washed all those who did not hold on down into the waste. Jack was among the number, and naturally catching at the first object which touched him, he caught hold of the chaplain by the leg, who commenced swearing most terribly. But before he could finish the oath, the water which had burst into the cabin through the windows, for the deadlights in the confusion had not yet been shipped, burst out of the cross bulkheads, sweeping like a torrent to the marine, the cabin door, and everything else in its force, and floating Jack and the chaplain, and several others down the main hatchway to the lower deck. The lower deck being also full of water, men and chests were rolling and tossing about, and Jack was sometimes in company with the chaplain and at other times separated. At last they both recovered their legs and gained the midshipman's birth, which although afloat was still a haven of security. Mr. Hawkins spluttered and spit, and so did Jack, until he began to laugh. This is very trying, Mr. Easy, said the chaplain, very trying to the temper. I hope I have not sworn. I hope not. Not a word, said Jack. I was close to you all the time. You only said God preserve us. Only that? I was afraid that I had said God damn it. Quite a mistake, Mr. Hawkins. Let's go into the gun room and try to wash this salt water out of our mouths, and then I will tell you all you said, as far as I could hear it, word for word. So Jack, by this means, got another glass of grog, which was very acceptable in his wet condition, and made himself very comfortable while those on deck were putting on the deadlights, and very busy setting the goose wings of the mainsail to prevent the frigate from being pooped a second time. End of chapter 25