 Yeah, well there's a line in his teachings that says when you want anything from a brother you will see him as a brother no longer. And this is the human condition. It's a state of desire. And you could say that nirvana or heaven or the present moment, the presence is just a state of desireless contentment. The truth doesn't want for anything. It's not like the truth is looking for something, you know, to fill its cup. It's not like the truth is hoping something will be different or hoping something will be a little bit better. It's not looking for an answer to a question. It's not looking for a yes. It's just a state which simply is. And so you might say that relationships in this world as perceived through of course the miracles offer a mirroring that goes on that really helps you get in touch with what's going on in your consciousness. It's like a mirror in your face really is what relationships are and that's why they're so intense. And also it sounds like from your question you're just really tuned in. It just started with this little little thing, just a little nudge of something in there. Maybe a reaction or a response to the no and then kind of spun off a little bit later into something bigger and to guilt. And this is the problem of expectations. There was a teacher one time that said the wise man expects things to be exactly as they are. Which is kind of a cute way of saying no expectations when you expect things to be exactly as they are. And it takes a lot of clearing and a filter of consciousness to come down to that state of mind. Because the relationships of the world like for example with your husband were set up and they're like based on expectations. And the more you go into the mind the more you find subtle, very subtle realms of expectations. Suddenly even when we talk about marriage, just marriage vows, if they're future based, they're based on some expectations. We didn't have a wedding here down by the ocean with Joe and Theresa and I do remember one of Joe's vows was I love you now. Which I think is a pretty safe, a safe vow. And then at least the thing with her vows was no words. And so they kind of avoided getting off into the future expectations and allowing a relationship to be used by the spirit for forgiveness. To clear the mind of all these subtle expectations that are in there. So you might say that that's really what the journey is. It's a journey into consciousness and into layers of beliefs that have to be uncovered and exposed in order for the peace to be a constant state. Otherwise with practice you do have more and more peaceful moments and peaceful times but then it just seems to get interrupted by something. One time in the Mystic Peace Program she said that oh yeah I just sail along in life and then a problem comes along and knocks me back on the truth. She saw it as just kind of as a way to get knocked back into the center whenever a problem came in. So we could say in the more subtle realms it involves the expectations. And it could be as simple as like the example you gave of make a dinner reservation at a restaurant. There could be an expectation of just enjoyment of companionship, of dining together with a loved one. Jesus talks about that in the Course of Miracles. He says you really believe you would be alone unless you were with another body. He talks about companionship as a concept. And it seems to be an accepted concept for many. And when there's a subtle, you might say, blip in that companionship like a husband saying no to make a dinner reservation. And that's where things can start to stir a little bit there. So I know in my life that's been part of the emptying of my mind of all the concepts that's been going in. And really facing the emotions whenever I felt uncomfortable when I wasn't with somebody. Or the uncomfortableness sometimes of aloneness. And most of us have had those experiences where you can feel lonely in a crowd. And you can feel connected and filled up when you're walking by yourself maybe along the beach or whatever. So we have a hint that it's a psychological state of mind. But it just takes a lot of practice and emptying and clearing to get down to what's under that little nudge that you felt. There's a root that runs much deeper. And it's like the root took you down into the guilt experience. It's really a very ontological guilt. It's a guilt based on the belief in separation from source. But that's so buried down in the unconscious that there's little stems that come up that have a little niggle of feeling that you experience on the surface. It's just like an inroads into that which is much deeper. So for me in my life where I've looked for completion in partnership, I've looked for completion in work, in family relationships, in environmental situations, in different locations and countries and so on and so forth. I have come to a clear awareness that there is a purpose, a calling that's in me that is identical with this presence. And so you might say that the journey in life is really to find your inner calling and then follow it because when you do find your inner calling and you follow it, it takes you into an extraordinary state of mind which actually is very ordinary. It's very natural, this peace. And so in my life it's taken me over years and years into places, meeting people and situations that I would have never imagined including lately, basically over the last couple years I've been setting up a monastery. And if anybody asked me years ago if I would ever be setting up a monastery I'd say a monastery would have been joking. But that's actually what seems to have unfolded in my life. So thank you for starting the ball rolling with that. It's very subtle, those expectations.