 subscribe now guys let's go subscribe now guys let's get into a topic of discussion today you see we've been seen on social media when people break up they get back to another relationship now you all know the term kuoga na kurudi soko but we're just here wondering is it actually a good thing kuoga na kurudi soko immediately or is it okay to wait just a little bit what do you guys think when when you come on we talk a long-term relationship and then you're immediate looming you're carrying that baggage from what you've left you're carrying it near to this new one trust and believe because you haven't healed you haven't you haven't taken time to discover really what what happened between you two I'm at the the I would say triggers yeah oh a bit okay so you haven't even taken time to learn how you guys woke up because he cheated and now you're entering in this other relationship right now with insecurities immediately so anything he does walk or to your brain your baggage from that relationship to this new one I have a question do you believe that rebounds help sometimes I mean yeah they do I feel like they do I feel like rebounds actually really help but it is quite an unfortunate thing if you're in a relationship with someone as your rebound and they don't know yeah because for them they might be investing in that relationship like someone who really wants to be in long-term thing yeah it's just a way to heal you know you don't even view them as someone you can spend the rest of your life with you you're just healing so I feel like a rebound is good to the person who is doing it but also it's a bad thing for the person that you're using as a rebound well for me I feel it depends on the nature of the relationship that's one and then sometimes I feel like time okay sometimes what on a semanga all heal take your time but there's some people who made immediately after the end the previous relationship and it works like for example Franky just Jimmett he broke up with Maureen and I still think that together they're just playing with us but I feel that together for them immediately they fell in love with Corazon and they had two children and I still believe that together is just that they are not posting me I feel it it depends it may depend sometimes we may get out of a relationship then immediately get into another one and it works so I don't believe time really matters you are watching friends by all feelings are represented all right guys we are back with a gang and my name is Miski Thinge and I'm joined by Naisa Abdi Rich girl is Jackson all right guys welcome to friends vibe if you haven't subscribed make sure you do because I mean why not single yeah subscribe now guys let's get into a topic of discussion today you see we've been seeing on social media when people break up they get back to another relationship now you all know the term but we're just here wondering is it actually a good thing or is it okay to wait just a little bit what do you guys think um wait kogan akurudis I feel like kogan akurudis should be for those two relationships you've been having you know it's not a really long relationship like it's like a coupling if you if I mean if you're in a relationship with someone for like three months that was literally just talking stage to me but if you guys have been dating for like let's say two years uh-huh I mean take I feel like it's a bit you should take a bit of time to yourself yeah and just trying to figure out because also when you're coming out of a relationship it's like it's like you're a new person if you're coming out of a long-term relationship it's like you're a new person so you you you you are with somebody like most of your life was attached to him and then now you are you're no longer with him yeah so you you have to take time to figure out yourself but if you are with someone for like two three months five months well for me I feel um it it depends on the nature of the relationship that's one and then sometimes I feel like uh time okay sometimes what on a semanga all heal take your time but there's some people who meet immediately after the end the previous relationship and it works like for example uh Frankie just jimmied um he broke up with Maureen and I still think they're together they're just playing with us but I feel they're together for them immediately they fell in love with Corazon and they had two children and I still believe they're together it's just that they're not posting so for me I I feel it it it depends it may depend sometimes you may get out of a relationship then immediately get into another one and it works so me I don't believe time really matters yeah well it it also depends with the nature of the relationship according to me as well but as Naisa mentions again it depends with the kind of bond that you had with this person so if your bond was not that tight then I mean you can just move on come on look what I made it for one month clearly you guys had not even gotten to know each other much yeah so there's really nothing much to even hold onto there's no attachments really but if it was a long-term kind of relationship I feel like you need some time to heal you need some time to reflect on you know what had happened if you were heartbroken or even had someone yeah you need time to think you need to time to just look at your environment I don't know because you know when when you come on we talk a long-term relationship and then your immediate what you left you're carrying it to this new one trust and believe because you haven't healed you haven't you haven't taken time to discover really what what happened between you two I'm at the I would say triggers yeah oh yeah you haven't taken time taken time to learn how you guys woke up because he cheated and now you're entering in this other relationship right now with insecurities immediately so anything he does walk or two you're bringing your baggage from that relationship to this new one yeah um I have a question do you guys believe uh that rebounds help sometimes I mean yeah they do I feel like they do I feel like rebounds actually really help but it is quite an unfortunate thing if you're in a relationship with someone as your rebound and they don't know yeah because for them they might be investing in that relationship like someone who really wants to be in long-term thing it's just a way to heal you know you don't even view them as someone you can spend the rest of your life with yeah I feel like you you're just healing so I feel like a rebound is good to the person who is doing it but also it's a bad thing for the person that you're using as a rebound yeah another thing is you could you could probably tell the other person it's a rebound and then they end up falling in love yeah and now you're not on the same page yeah I mean that's their own problem because I really told you but yeah rebound it's supposed to be not at Schmingi a relationship in a fact you're playing the field so I think that's why I feel like it's literally you are back to playing the field so you're not really attaching yourself to anyone you get yeah immediately you're not yeah so you're just enjoying yourself enjoying enjoying joe enjoying monster you know yeah enjoying everyone yeah wow so okay is there difference between dating and being in a relationship because I remember Murugi Mouniel sometimes back yeah I hope I don't miss code her but I was viewing her stories and she was saying like sometimes you can be you know be with different men like going on dates you're not dating any of them but you're trying to see who yeah you can fall in love with yeah that's but you see I mean is that really dating or is that going on dates because I feel like there's I I feel like if you're dating someone you are in a relationship with him but if you're going on dates you're probably meeting them in restaurants you're probably going for like outdoor kind of activities yeah you're probably just that's dating around if you're if you're going on dates that's it's dating around because you're not just going on dates you're trying to get to know different people but that's talking to people talking stages yeah I feel like that's talking do we call that dating I don't think that's dating I don't think that's dating I feel like that's talking to someone because the when you're talking to someone you're getting to know them to see if you are you can spend a long-term kind of relationship with them yeah so it's it's it's it can be if you're seeing someone again it is not exclusive yeah but if you're if you're talking to someone it is kind of exclusive because you're getting to know them but you haven't really committed to a long-term relationship yeah so I think dating is not really going on dates no I think dates are something different like that's you're just literally playing the field and trying to see yeah and I don't think I feel like for most people it shouldn't be when I talk out from one relationship you're jumping to the other even for your own mental health or anything it's not good yeah yeah and also it's not good for the other person you're going to date you get because hey you're from a very let me say if you're from a marriage yeah yeah like we said long-term to make an am to four years to make an am to three years that is a long time to be with someone and then immediately like some people do but before you break up with them like let's say four months prior you break up with this one you're ready in another one you're ready to know your next target even your next target already knows you both are dating already yeah so and then when you enter that relationship in most cases it doesn't work yeah and I feel actually feel like people who jump from one relationship to the other I feel like you're just lonely you do not ensure your company yeah so you want someone to take up that space of that other person that was in your life yeah and that is dangerous it means you don't even enjoy your company so when you move to one relationship to the other you're putting that other person in a place to make you happy so you are and that's not fair and if they fail you you're disappointed yeah and probably they're just probably going through something it's not like they don't like you or they're not in a position to make you happy but you're just expecting a lot because you've come out of a relationship and you're expecting this other person to fill this vacuum yeah what are the disadvantages do you guys think you also don't understand you don't know yourself yeah if you keep jumping from relationships to relationship you do not know yourself you're with let's say amazing I'll say Fred you're with Fred and then you're moving to this other person when you're with Fred you used to act a certain way just because you're with him and this is how he likes certain things and then when you move on to another person you also what he likes and what he does yeah you you're in tune to his life again so you actually don't get to know yourself sometimes it's good to actually stay by yourself single for a while just to understand yourself and know you will discover so many things about yourself you will you'll even discover since you feel like you most people do most people do this like they feel like they'll be lonely now they want somebody to be with them you'll discover you're not lonely you actually enjoy yourself you actually enjoy your company yeah you get but if you're jumping from one relationship to another I don't think you'll ever understand yourself yeah you will not learn about yourself any I don't know and I also feel like it may make you look promiscuous okay I don't know because for me as as much as if I am not in a serious relationship maybe probably definitely just build someone for a destruction but if you keep on doing it like damn especially for me when it gets to like the intimate part so what happened you keep on changing yeah I'll give you an example like not so many people what's her name um I'm very yeah like the way she she you can really tell she's a relationship person yeah but what's her people branded her a bad yeah people are branding her to be a whole but she's not it's just that she's moving things yeah and I feel and she's as you can tell she's I don't I don't know if anyone has ever come out to say she's cheated on them no yeah she's faithful to whoever she is with at the moment yeah but just no she will live yeah she will live if you mess up and she's finding another person real quick yeah and I feel is just that her she's a public figure that's what happened with very many people yeah it's only that the business of other people is not out there like her yeah you can tell she flourishes when she's in a relationship yeah okay but what now can you guys advise someone who is in a long-term relationship name Asia to share to share a greasy water if it was a fling or something that you didn't bond it's you can move on but what about this other person now they've been in a long-term relationship and you know what are they doing before sasawa okay you're cool guy you're before I would be so cool what can they do according to you what do you guys think I mean I would think take time to yourself take time to figure out yourself because you coming from that relationship and now you alone there's some growth happening there's some changes happening in your life like so many things are happening it's good if you take time to yourself and just understand whatever is happening to you whatever is the changes get to know them get to even know yourself a bit more intimate be selfish with yourself you know so that the next man who's coming is not at the trash bag you left behind you get you are with now you understand yourself you know what you want you know your what you know so it will be better for the next person and also for you in the next relationship yeah yeah but your final thoughts actually um so my final thoughts for me one thing about relationship after a breakup my one goal not one goal something that helps me heal is immediately you break up with someone let's go of the hope of getting back together they're now heal because the moment you're like I am at Nezah Rudiana Matu Nezah Rudiana like you will keep on going through the same circle over and over again then now after you've let go of that thought now be selfish with your time travel do things that you love don't rush into another relationship if the previous one was long-term yeah but if it shows shots yeah well personally I feel like when you when you break up with someone and it was long-term you need to allow yourself to feel those mixed feelings because you kind of hate them you kind of of course you had good memories allow yourself to feel those mixed emotions because now if you move on to the next one uta pelika masi dazako to the next relationship allow yourself to feel that then also set up boundaries because sometimes we find that we get into these problems and we end up breaking up because we didn't have these boundaries so set allow yourself to set up these boundaries and know when you get to your next what is it that you'd like what is it that you'd not like another thing self-care you know when you're in a relationship sometimes you don't think about yourself you think about the other person and it's okay but right about now you're alone take care of yourself you know go for a massage workout do some things you know just take care of yourself so that you know they say when you show people how to love you so if you don't even know how to love yourself how are they gonna love you you need to show people how to love you so love yourself and above all connect with other people around you so you never know and they're probably not even the right person maybe you've been looking at the same qualities your ex had interact with other people you might find even better and that's my final word naysay do you have something else to add no no no i feel like yeah i already said my final word yeah so you so yeah unless it was a fling i feel like if it's long term you really need time to heal but let us know down on the comments section what are your thoughts from the apple and make sure you subscribe but thank you so much for watching this episode of friends vibe until next time it's goodbye from us