 Tell me how you really feel, cuz I just wanna feel with ya Black girl tell me how you really feel, I just wanna keep it real with ya I wanna live better, eat better, I wanna love better, sleep better I wanna feel so aligned, sublime, better eat better, sublime One time for elevated rhymes, two times for showmanship Three times for black hands and land ownership revolution I bring to you where there ain't blame to ya Nesey blues on war tunes, singing to ya I am the rebel without applause, no applause Trust me, I am Chuck D, gettin' fine off Many fools, they clock watchin' my moves And I needed to re-appraise it with flavor Took some time off now, back Jesus Black V, the slumberin' unborn All could've covered in curtain untoward I'm the rose that rose to etch his prose And rose at a stone, still yellin' to do a megaphone Always reppin', baby forever home I ain't the pot callin' the kettle black I am the flame keepin' the kettle warm I'm the blame for the renaissance that's called I write and recite it with down feathers on I love you, and write and recite it with down feathers on That mean that shit cold, and I'm the coldest Listen, it's the message right here Black boy tell me how you really feel Cause I just wanna build with you Black girl tell me how you really feel I wanna keep it real with you I wanna live better, eat better I wanna love better, sleep better Yeah, I wanna feel so aligned Y'all give a round of applause to this band right now What's up, what's up, what's up everybody? Y'all put a thumbs up in the chat if you can hear me I'm still getting used to this mic Alright, alright, alright Let me see, okay we got 44 people watchin' right now My goal is 500, so invite as many people as you can Hey Rush, okay, okay Alright guys, this is my first ever live stream So, y'all gonna have to bear with me I'ma try to not make it a struggle stream But, you know, I'm still learning So, let's see Let me turn that off Shout out to the moderators Thank you for promoting the page Thank you for all the links that you add I see Freedman's Journal Shout out to you, man You've been instrumental in our growth So, I appreciate that a lot Like I said before It's gonna turn into a members only chat As soon as we start the interview Y'all kinda keep that in mind If you're interested in becoming a member Just click that membership button I don't know where it's at in mobile Cause I'm looking at the desktop version But, it should be a join button And pick whatever tier that you're interested in And just go from there So, boom, let's do this So, I have a little structure I came up with Our guest will be here at 6.30 We've got about 15 minutes But I wanted to go through a few things Before she got here And this will kinda be our structure On the Fridays that we do live stream So, first of all For those of you who don't know My name is Alan I'm the voice behind We Need to Talk My mission is simple I want black men and black women Back together, I think At the foundation of black power Is the black family So, if we can at least Learn how to talk to each other I think we're one step closer So, that's my ministry That's the piece of this That I wanna take ownership of And all your support is very instrumental In that mission So, I appreciate each and every one of you guys Oh, yeah, so this is a good place to start So, one of my subscribers DMed me The other day And he had something to get off his chest And I think it's a good place to start You know, as far as me Providing clarity and shedding light on Exactly what it is that I'm trying to do So, hopefully you guys can hear it, okay? Dude, I don't know But bro Why you be playing wild soft with these chicks On these questions? They be giving you wild bullshit And you're just playing soft You ask elite questions Yo, can you turn it up on them? I'm not saying embarrass them Can you turn it up to heat Just a little bit more, please? They be giving straight bullshit answers I'm just acting Just turn the heat up just a little bit, please I'm begging Keep the content coming Shit is fire Man So, shout out to him He took it upon himself He bypassed the email He bypassed our Instagram He went straight to mine He was like, bro, I gotta tell you this But shout out to him My response to that is simple Because I actually get this message quite a bit Typically it's under, like, comments But people say I'm too soft I let my interviewees get away with a lot And it's simple So everybody I interview is somebody I respect Even when we disagree Even when they say something That, you know, is outlandish But what I'm trying to demonstrate I'm trying to demonstrate The proper way to have conversation And for me You must approach conversation with curiosity Right? So a lot of times we come in, you know With a combative disposition We're coming in saying I know something that you don't And I have something to teach you As opposed to there's something I want to learn from you And in my personal life, in my experience We need to talk It's always been A lot more beneficial A lot more advantageous When I'm coming in Like a filmmaker I'm coming in With the idea that you know something I don't And you imparting that knowledge to me Helps me become a better person So Hopefully if you guys don't Get anything from these videos Anything from what I say That's the biggest takeaway Right? So moving on to the next thing On my Workbook itinerary Yeah, so For those of you guys who don't know I started We Need to Talk in 2013 I started it on the campus of Lander University in Greenwood, South Carolina And it started as an offshoot Of NAACP So it's always been a Afrocentric Situation that we had going on Transitioning YouTube in 2015 But you know how these YouTube streets are So we're just now gaining traction And I'm excited about What we can do but Our mission, our mission statement Is to create environments Where people can share ideas and experiences In order to educate and empower one another For the betterment of society So with the channel, with Events, with campus Speaking engagements, everything we do Is centered around that mission Alright, so Shout out to the members If you just became a member If you became a member recently Your support really means a lot Shout out to everybody who's donated I've been getting messages People found me on LinkedIn And they send me messages talking about what I'm doing So that's encouraging It feels like I'm doing the right thing And I'm excited But yeah, just thank you all for everything A few announcements So I'm producing a new series Called Black Men Talk And the That series, I think I might Drop the first one next week or the week after We'll probably do Wednesdays for that But the entire mission of that series Is to show two black men In dialogue So it'll be similar to What we're doing now but the person you see And the person you hear will both be male And will both be black And the goal of that Is to bridge Is to bridge the gaps between Black malehood To show the consistencies within black malehood And to show the diversity Within black malehood So I want High school boys to be able to watch it And get insight on the moves That they need to make From the people who've made those moves I want women to be able to watch it And see that There's a lot more diversity of thought Amongst black men To see What is consistent As far as how we think But yeah, I'm really really excited about that The first one I interviewed Nathan Daly Some of you guys might be his subscribers He is a black cop So obviously that's going to be really interesting And we're going to keep that going For the foreseeable future Those will be hour long So I know you guys say these videos are too short But those will be a bit longer And I'll eventually make these Longer as well But I'm a one-man crew right now I got to stretch things out Tuesday's video That's dropping I actually had the chance to interview The editor-in-chief of Sheen magazine Her and I actually went to school together And Sheen magazine Is really black female heavy So That's going to be interesting Tomorrow I'm interviewing Courtney Michelle Some of you guys might be familiar with her She's big in this space On the Lepif network We're going to have an interesting conversation I'm excited about that as well Let's see We've got about 15 minutes Before our guest shows up For those of you guys who don't know I'm talking to hashtag black women And she She runs a YouTube channel About divesting And We're going to have a pretty interesting dialogue I mean I'm not I didn't come in my source today My shirt says I don't need to win I need to understand And that's the energy that I'm coming with So this is going to be Really interesting It's going to be playback worthy for sure Let's see Alright So One of the things I do want to go over And Shout out to yeah I'm Stacy Because he kills this So if you're interested In like pop culture news Definitely subscribe to him I'm not going to go as in depth as he does I'm just going to touch on some things But yeah definitely check him out But obviously The slap We're going to have to talk about The slap Smarter people than me Have Have weighed in Rush Ribbons Who is in the chat or wasn't in the chat She actually Almost got banned from tiktok For her take on that One of the best takes that I've seen Is from Erica Erica Lachey And essentially she was talking about how We've created a culture that Makes black men feel like they need to Be Pseudo masculine Be macho macho ready to smack and fight And shoot anybody In the name of protect black women So I would go check out her You know her post I think I reposted it on her IG Or IG is the same as anything WNT talk My take is along those lines I feel like If Jada had cancer I would understand If He had warned Chris And he continued To talk about her I would understand But All these things from the perspective of What would I tell my 17 year old brother And simply it's Under no circumstance Should a verbal Altercation Escalate to a physical one Unless It is a threat Being levied Unless Warnings had been made What Will Smith did was He's pushing P He's a coward He's a coward I might Elaborate more on that later on But I don't want to take up too much time We'll also have time to For people to come up after our interview So maybe we'll talk about it more More then Two more things so David Or Javel He might be Nigerian that name sounds Nigerian But I don't know if you guys saw The He had an Achilles injury during His pro day And the coaches, the training staff Literally just walked past them They didn't offer To help him or anything And I remember immediately thinking This is Part of the type of black masculinity That's expected You don't have feelings You don't get hurt You don't get any sympathy Type that in, go watch the video And again we can talk about this After the After the interview Some of you guys might have seen Black China The Black China post I think Stacey Actually did a video about it Where she was saying That she just had to sell Some of her cars To take care of her children And then her two Baby daddies weighed in Talking about they pay A total of like $60,000 Or $70,000 a year And spousal support And also they have the kids The majority of the time And that's been Bringing up a bunch of conversations Last but certainly Not least I don't know if you guys saw the The video or heard the story About the 12 year old who accidentally shot Her 14 year old cousin Super sad Super sad I don't even, I don't know what to say About that We need Responsible people Becoming parents We need guidance in the home We need mentorship Because a lot of these things are avoidable But you know It's the world we live in currently With some of the political stuff That I have on the list I'll actually bring it up with my guest Because part of it has to do with divest But Oh yeah So another thing that I'm remembering Some of the people That Have been interested in doing interviews Don't actually want to get on camera So now that We're introducing these live streams I'll be able to bring on anonymous People to give And get more insight on Male psychology Female psychology Black male and female psychology They have a lot of experience They have a lot of insight And I'm excited about that As well Let's see, let's see, let's see So she'll be here In like 8 minutes Y'all do me a favor hit that like button Subscribe if you haven't Consider becoming a member Once the interview starts This will become a members only chat So yeah We're trying to keep the Shit talk to a minimum But yeah, so after the interview I'll bring up Whoever's interested I'll drop the link in the chat And whoever's interested we can come up and have Conversations We can do a Q&A at the end We can talk about some of those Current events, the political ones The social ones And Yeah, I'm excited about this Also if you're watching this during the replay Shout out to you Like, comment, subscribe All that good stuff I'm not a real YouTuber I'm still just learning So I need y'all to help you I've been jumping on different people's Live streams this week To Sharpen my sword To figure out what they do right What they do wrong The topic of the day The topic for today is divest So If you guys go to the community tab If you scroll down quite a ways You'll see A back and forth Actually I might be able to pull it up But I had with this young lady Some months ago Around the topic of black women Divesting And for those of you guys who don't know Divesting simply means Leaving black men Or dusties For the better Brighter More secure, nicer Option Which tends to be white men At least from their perspective So Initially I wanted to have this conversation On her channel because I wasn't doing streams yet But Her subscribers insisted That I stay my dusty ass over here So This is me Reaching out And Trying to understand What fuels this divest movement I mean she's got 2,000 subs Which isn't As many as we have over here But Considering 2,000 people who have that much Conviction around Black women having better options And They must Divest They must Divest and talk about how Insufficient Black men are Now I'm trying I'm trying to find I'm trying to find the original Back and forth You guys let me know if you can see My second screen Somebody say they have better options Well that's That's subjective Okay So boom So she said ladies, lurkers and friends We need to talk He's an avid Kevin Samuel supporter And his channel is almost an entire Old to Kevin Samuels And his gaslighting slanderous dangerous Rhetoric that continues to dehumanize And minimize Black women To an undesirable box Of racist stereotypes Remember we're all going to die Alone unless we submit to the will Of Black men Let's see if we can go into The comments I think the comments were the most Interesting part So Yeah, I'm not going to read the comments But you guys can read what you can Plenty of cats and dogs that need Adopting That's not funny My man came in with the popcorn And eyes So she is almost here And today for this conversation Is going to be Dusty Kang And you'll see that pop up at some point But Yeah, we're going to have an honest Dialogue I want to hear her take On Black men I want to hear how she got to this space According to her bio The name hashtag Black women comes from The exploitation of Hashtag Black women I guess people like me Or people like Kevin Samuels Are using Black women To get put on Making fun of Talking down on Black women To get on So I thought that was kind of clever Naming her channel after That idea Again like I said earlier So yeah, my members Get ready I won't be checking the chat That much Because I want to stay focused on My conversation with her But feel free to Talk amongst yourself We can revisit the chat after the conversation And go through What happened, what went well What didn't go so well I know one of her concerns was That I would over talk her I would Cut her off, I'd be belligerent If you've watched my channel, you know that's not my ministry I'm sure she'll realize that Very soon Paul Arthur, shout out to you bro So yeah We've got two minutes Any questions for me before we get started Anything I didn't touch on anything I didn't cover Feel free to Show some love to the cash out I need some new lighting Yeah So this I almost had to push this back So I went to the eye doctor today And they put some drops in my eyes That I didn't know where Pupil died later So my pupils have been like this all day So I couldn't even work I couldn't see my screen or anything It came back So It's all good I'm live bro Omoale I'm live man I'm live If this goes well I think We might do this once a week On Fridays And if we don't have a guest It's an opportunity for us to Discuss, break down Some of the videos that dropped In a week You know And periodically I'll bring on some of the interviewees And matter of fact they'll host And you guys can ask them all the questions You can Respectfully critique Respectfully push back On whatever They said that you didn't like Or you didn't resonate with Or you need clarity on So Love in the Convo Appreciate it man Jason Bell, how do you become a member You should see a join button Somewhere in Under this Under the video beside the chat Once you click that You'll be able to join I only have two tiers right now I want to keep it simple For me this isn't necessarily a money making opportunity And it's also not Entertainment so I'm not going to Have sound effects go off That's not my ministry I'm trying to have real conversations Black nerd shout out to you bro Appreciate the super chat man Alright Where's she at Before she comes in Let's give it A few So she just got here So I'm about to turn into a members only chat Y'all bear with me But It's better we do it this way In the future We'll keep it wide open For everybody Feel free to support the chat Feel free to stick around I think this is going to be a really good conversation I'm excited Alright Hey can you hear me I can how are you I'm good how are you I'm good I'm good Let me connect my camera Hmm Play sounds Okay so why is it not showing my name That's great Hey How are you I'm good I'm excited about this I'm excited to meet you I think this is going to be a really really really Really really good conversation Before we get started is there anything You want to mention Say shout out This is your opportunity Not that I can think of right now Okay Probably come up Okay okay I took the liberty To turn it into a members only chat So The shit talking or the Pushback in the chat is going to be to a minimum So I'm focused on you I'm not focused on the chat I'm just making sure I didn't miss anything on this side Um Screw it alright so our names Supposed to pop up but it's not showing I don't know why In your stream yards You can do that Okay I'm in settings right now This is my first stream ever so like Yeah I'll take you a minute to figure it out Oh yeah Echo counselor okay so that's not it That's not it that's not it Lay out That's not it You know what screw it How are you doing hashtag black woman I'm good I'm ready for an actual Conversation not a screaming man That would be nice Okay I think that's a good place to start So like what has been your experience With engaging in these conversations With other content creators What has that been like For one I really don't engage With a lot of other content creators Only when I feel like Only when I feel like It's like kind of absolutely necessary Or like um Like around Tina's documentary I was actually willing to engage in that Because you know that was something that was happening In the public eye And I heard all of this You know usual misinformation about it So I was just like you know I'm happy to hop on Alive with somebody and explain Why this documentary is problematic Okay normally I'm not Like I'm not into this And stuff like the oron panels Or anything like that But um I had a What you call it a Content creator reach out Reach out to me to Have a discussion like this Then on the same day He just didn't show up He just decided not to come And I was just like Okay until then Now you have words We were supposed to have a conversation like this Obsidian She name dropping Okay You reached out to me for that interview Yeah So before we get into like How we got acquainted I want to understand Your channel like So I read the about page I watched some videos but I want to hear straight from you What inspired this channel What is your mission What are you trying to do exactly Um I've been The black manuscript has been around For a little over 10 years now Okay There's a lot of new people in the space That think that this is new They think that like Popular YouTube or popular content creators Are responsible for what's happening No This space is old I've been aware of it for a long time And I ignored it for a long time And we've been quiet for a long time A very very very very long time Black men had like A good six seven eight years To get this out of their system To be on YouTube You know And it's like It's like So it's a bit of a retaliation And a lot of times people are wondering Where are all these angry Divestors coming from Why are they so It is a retaliation Okay now my channel I'm not like other divest channels You know I'm a little bit different Like I prefer to have conversations not streaming matches And I also Want to help black women To go where they need to go And do what they need to do And do what's best for them Okay so the name hashtag What did that come from Why did you decide on that being your name Because that's what everybody puts When they're trying to pop off on YouTube When they're trying to get on When they're trying to get on They use hashtag black women I knew I was going to use this name When I watched this one news It was What is it the black news network Or something like that I forget the guy's name But basically he was covering a story On prostitutes With HIV And for some like in the In the title of the story It was black women Spreading HIV You know which is There's a lot of black women in the country Okay and this was specifically Prostitutes in Florida And I'm just like why do you have to put Hashtag black women in a story About something as specific as In a specific location There's plenty of black women that are not prostitutes And it's just like You use that hashtag To get the attention And it looks like the real title of the story Is basically Throwing black women under the bus Making it look like we're spreading HIV And that's not even the story And I'm just like everybody Does this I forget the Some news network or whatever that was doing that But I see it all the time You want to get on hashtag black women So you feel like We Throw me in there You feel like we're scapegoating black women For economic benefit Or what exactly do you think we're doing Well who's the girl Who the Tina Tila Tequila Remember this This Asian girl Black women are bold and cursed Okay yeah You know Where, I don't know what black women did to her I don't know It's usually something It's like if you were talking about something That involved black women That actually included black women That you know this is a discussion About black women but usually it's just some Random This is not even a story It just looks like slander It's usually some slanderous stuff Okay So I think that segues perfectly into How we became acquainted So You commented on one of my videos And You actually did a response video to it So tell me more about that Like what about the video jumped out to you And what was the message Because you thought I was a woman at first What was the message you wanted to get across to me I It was It was girls on your channel And I don't really watch too much of this content Like I said I've seen this for years now I've seen it over and over and over again I've seen it before so I don't really like Watch too much of this content But it was the same Theme, the theme is the same The theme is the same The theme of Black masculinity And the theme of Why I don't even really remember The video or exact I don't remember Basically something along the lines of Black men Kind of have a different Kind of have a different circumstance So that you have to kind of I remember the video Yeah I know what you're talking about So the girl That you used in the thumbnail That's actually my little sister So for me It's The conversation is personal We had these conversations before I got on YouTube We had these conversations Offline And essentially what we were talking about I don't know if you watched the entire video But we were talking about some of the Expectations That are placed on Black men And the concessions that would Be nice for us to get And we kind of had it back and For if I think she made some good points I think I made some good points I want to hear what part The video stood out to you And let's talk about That part Honestly I don't really remember The whole video And which part I remember the title And I remember Almost like Here we go again with this Black men need concessions Black men need a break You know It's like Kind of like getting into How Black men and Black women got here It's like Black men are always You always need a break Black women need a break too But not really This space is not taken To consideration Anything that Why Black women are the way that they are How Black women Come up Compared to the women that you always Compare us to Like our walk of life is the same Like our walk of life is the same Our walk of life is not the same No most Black women are not going to be Like white women It's a ridiculous comparison But this is the comparison that it's been But while you're comparing us to white women You want us to give you concessions No And I think that was Watching your videos It kind of It felt like I don't know if you're familiar with Charleston White Charleston White He's a I guess you can call him a hip hop commentator But his whole thing is That he was Deep into civil rights and Activism and the whole nine Like if a kid died he'd be by himself In front of the police house Protesting and doing this Talking to the kids and he He said that he's gotten to the point now That he's like fuck y'all Because when I was doing all this Work nobody really Role with me so now He has taken on the role as the Antagonist so he talks Shit about rappers he Talked shit about you know political figures And his whole thing like when he actually Talks about it his whole thing is like If I'm A good enough bad guy Maybe it can inspire some change because Being the good guy didn't work And one of the things I saw You know I was watching one of your videos and Apparently one of the ladies you were Having a conversation with was A big black power civil rights Type of girl And something happened I don't know what But now she's on this side so My question to you is like what What are the things that happen you can talk About yourself specifically or you can talk About people in this space that Questions them from I love black men to Do the best Option or what's the slogan The best man for the job there we go Yes best man for the job You said there was a woman On my channel that was Pro black do you was I talking About her or was it not you were Talking to her it was like a panel that you guys Did oh but okay so Yeah basically like that is That is something that's Interesting about that is that a lot of people Don't assume or don't know is that A lot of black a lot of these black Women was black love first And that's like part of Why they probably seem so crazy And why they seem so You know anti black man Black man was the black men was the ones That changed their minds you know And It's not just In your everyday Life like you know The community that you grow up in The community that you're up that you grow up Around I don't know why people think Divest means that you are Completely like I don't know Transported to a whole new world or something And you don't have to be around black men no you're still You still live in the same community as black men I talk about this like Subway crime in New York all the time on my channel Like I post about it all the time because it's something that like Bothers me I'm getting ready to Get out of the city and I can't wait But like it's something that you have to be aware of And you know think about and Kind of like be on be cautious of Because it's a growing Rising problem But so it's like It's like your everyday Life and also It's this it's this toxic Space that has been around for a long time This space Has been around for years this has been Almost over a decade Of black men saying The most And there has been No There's been no channels like you know People act like Cynthia G And divested zealot and all these other channels But like do y'all know how long black men have been on youtube Before even one woman channel Came back on to push back at all It was it's it took years For that to happen It took years for that to happen and now that It's happening people on divestries to be quiet Like you know oh this is this is going too far This is getting too much like Like this black men had years To talk like this online And it has not gotten better It's only gotten worse And it's like you know now it's like A lot of black men seem like they're a little out of control But I'm just like oh well I mean You get the response like it's an equal And opposite reaction That's what it is So you brought up Cynthia G I think that's that's interesting because And if I say something that's Incorrect please push back I mean right away she's not a divester She's not So one of the things That she said that stands out To a lot of people especially black men She said that black boys Black babies Black male babies should be aborted So the question that I'm Asking is Do you think these grievances That divesters and people In that space have with black men Are these things inherent To black men or And if they're not what happened To black men I don't know if they're inherent I don't know Exactly even what happened I think that And see that's the difference in a channel Like Cynthia G's and a channel like mine Because Cynthia G seems a lot more And because she is not a divester Okay she's been on youtube for I think like five and a half years Now She's Never encouraged Black women to date white men Or to date non-black men She's been kind of exposing The black male pathology And the kind of things that she sees a black man do And she has her series who they really choose While they're holding white women over you This is who they're really with So she's more of an exposed black men Type channel But to me she seems like And why and the why And divesters are not Like I personally am not Because I just think life is too short Okay I don't think it's worth it For black women To sit around for another couple of decades Trying to get to the bottom of why Black men Do what they do Why black men, why people like KS keep coming out and people like Who is really just a Tommy Sotomayor You know He's a slightly more palatable Version of Tommy Sotomayor So My question is Because earlier you mentioned that Black men Don't make any concessions for black women We don't try to understand some of the Grievances that black women have Some of the experiences black women Go through some of the Traumas that inform the things We complain about If you believe that Shouldn't Black women also Have a sense of grace And a sense of understanding And a willingness to understand Why black men are these ways That we complain about No, no Explain No, because why should we understand You don't understand You don't try to understand I mean I try to You try to When I say you, I'm speaking about This space In general And the certain person's name Who's in the title of Your videos, they don't try To understand They don't, there are no concessions Or grace given to black women at all There's none, you just Constantly compare us to white women And that's pretty much it As if you're the same Like we're the same, like we come from the same Walk of life or something So for those of us who do not Do that And for those of us who try to understand No, no, no, what I'm asking For those of us who try to understand What can we do better I don't see I don't see enough, honestly to even Get to that answer I do not see enough at all Or any really at all Of black men that try to understand And honestly, if you support Somebody like KS, there's no way You could be trying to understand There's no way This is some of the things that he has said about black women Why do you think I support Kevin Samuels Because He's in the title This is your godfather This is your godfather Right No You call him that Full transparency, so this is what happened I did a video, this had to be In October And the title of the video Was Is Kevin Samuels a necessary evil And in that video, me and a friend of mine We're having a conversation about The whole black male, black female dynamic We touched on Kevin Samuels I asked her, why do you think he's famous Do you think he makes any good points And we had a pretty good dialogue It was like an hour video still on the channel And Up until that video The most views that I had gotten on any of my videos Was like 200 views After 5 years Like it was bad Now, when I started understanding SEO Search engine optimization One of the things that the search engine liked In this video was the name Kevin Samuels So I thought to myself Because I have a marketing background I work in tech now But I thought to myself, how can I elaborate on this And that led to the series Kevin Samuels started this conversation You brought up before That I called him the godfather That's his nickname It wasn't like I'm saying he's the godfather It's just, you know, Kobe is the black mamba LeBron is the king That's how it was to me But no, I don't I admire His success I don't agree with Some of his methods I hope you can see in the 20 minutes we've been on And 30 minutes we've been on That's not my ministry There are no sound effects here There's no round of applause here It's just conversation I'm curious what your questions for me are As a black man As somebody who reveres Kevin Samuels What are your questions for me? Do you think Kevin Samuels Is going to help black men? Do you think this is helping black men? So I think that's a really good question The first Kevin Samuels video I ever saw I didn't actually know who he was So I was I had to be in college And I was trying to figure out how to tie a tie I didn't know how to tie a tie So I was online I started watching suit videos in the whole night I was watching people like Jose Zuniga I was watching Alpha M In this consulting And then this black man popped up He was sitting in a It had to be a Mercedes because it had peanut butter seats And the title of the video Was something like black men have to do better But I clicked on it And he was talking about How he just left the corporate event And He A white woman thought he was the help Even though he was dressed up in a tuxedo He's like six foot four He was talking to one of his bosses And a white woman asked him to go get a drink As if he was one of the help And he was also talking about How he looked around the event And he saw very successful black women But he didn't see any black men It was him The waitstaff And maybe one other dude I recommend we need to be in these events We need to be at the governor's ball We need to be at these art exhibits We need to be at these corporate events Because these black women are here And they're by themselves Later on come to find out That was Kevin Samuels So this was pre Average at best I didn't even know he had a following at that point It was just a random video that popped up I don't think he had a following At that point So that was my introduction to him For most people it was average at best When I saw the average at best video I felt two ways First and foremost My background is in marketing Media And a little psychology Because I work in UX design So the first thing I thought is I want to see the full clip Most people don't think like that Most people make decisions based on clips But I was like I want to see the full clip So when I saw the full clip I was like this guy is talking to her crazy Like damn he's mean as shit When I saw the full clip it kind of made sense And as somebody Who's produced things before As somebody who's been in leadership I understood his frustration Especially being, I think Kevin is like A 54 year old black man He's tired The patience is a lot thinner Than somebody like me A year 50 So Again, is that how I would have gone About it? No And that's why I do the videos that I do And the way that I do them What about Because Let me just make one last point So I say all that to say I think Number one When you go back on his channel He started out talking to black men For three years Black men we need to do better We need to do better Unfortunately That message is not provocative enough That message Now we're getting somewhere That message doesn't Gain you any traction So unfortunately and I think you make a good point When He had the audacity The unmitigated goal To say something negative publicly So Hopefully he's able to get back To what he loves which is image consulting But for the time being we are paying Him with our attention So that's where we are And everybody always Brings up that he used to talk about men First and honestly I don't want this whole conversation To be about Kevin Samuels But like Of course He would come up at some point But Everyone always brings up how He started talking about black men And he started you know the correction Was at first for black men And he doesn't do it anymore because it's not popular And what is Popular is this is the blood sport That's that's Taking a woman's head off For being a single mother And making six figures oh my god You know that needs correction You know Why do you think that is Jealousy I think it's jealousy and envy I think that I don't I mean if she said I'm a 35 year old single mother And I work at Walmart and I make 725 An hour where can I find a high value man You know most people would probably Call her delusional because You're extremely You know you're at a very low Paying job you're not in any Sort of position it's like It doesn't really matter what black women do Because this space isn't quite As this space is not really I don't know they don't really Go in on like gold diggers It's the other way around it's Women that make their own money That seems to be the black man's biggest Like I don't know a problem right now Make a woman that is okay financially I'll I'll do my best to Explain because I've had this Conversation with my sisters I've had this conversation a bunch of times But This is what I hear as a black man I think that An unfortunate number of our Women expect To be graded on the same Curriculum as our men So what do I mean by that When I'm talking to a new girl Right like when I'm dating or whatever And I go to my group Of friends and I say I just started talking to this new girl She's great she's awesome This this and that Can you assume what the first question That they ask me is Exactly what does she look like Because men Are simple Men are visual men are very very simple All that stuff her accolades Her achievements the fact that she Is just made partner the law firm doesn't Matter it's what does she look like Because they've the curriculum That we used to evaluate women is Different than the curriculum women Used to evaluate men on the flip side I understand that on the flip side When I'm having a conversation With the group of women and You know they're single And I ask them Why do you think you guys are single And they inevitably say You know My friend over here she's a doctor This one is a lawyer this one runs On six figure business Unfortunately those things Would make them great men But they don't move the needle For men because again The curriculum for men and women is Different now with going back To the average a best girl she Assumed that these Things that she's achieved That would make her a better potential Male candidate makes her a better Potential female candidate unfortunately Actually works in the inverse Do you disagree with that or do you I understand that but that Actually goes right into What I mean when I say That people That world I'm not going to say people black men Don't try to understand black women You know You don't try to understand As if As if the overwhelming majority of black people In this country are not born poor Are not born in poverty And do not come from nothing I think that Our achievements do mean More than the Than like an average woman that I don't know didn't have to Overcome as much So black women do take A lot of pride and You know Being able to get Above the line of poverty and Being able to like provide for themselves and Not being reliant on the Government or not being Broken or being able to at least Move out of the dangerous That they grew up in And Even to the point where You know your degrees don't matter I don't really know if I believe that I don't believe that I don't think that So to Clarify I don't think Degrees don't matter What I'm saying because The majority of the women I've dated are very For me I can't date somebody who's ignorant Because this is how I talk On a daily basis I'm this guy right However Two things happen Number one They assume that Or Very well educated women assume that That level of education Makes you a better catch in the Eyes of men And it doesn't The second thing is In my experience and in the experience Of a lot of men unfortunately A lot of men Women who are that Credentialed Tend to be very disagreeable They tend to be very Combative now these things are awesome In corporate America They're awesome in the law firm They're awesome you know in sales They're awesome but in the house That's tough I And that's all men are really saying Now they're not as articulate But that's what they're saying Here's the thing And here's why I disagree And this is also where divest comes in Because To a successful man Yes the choice is his He can go for a very Credentialed successful woman Or he can go for a girl that works at Starbucks The choice is up to him A lot of successful men Are with successful women Because money stays with money Money matches with money Because that keeps the money Multiplying instead of dividing I think this whole thing Where these women are not valuable Especially to black men I just don't buy it I just don't buy it I don't agree with that If anybody had said they're not valuable I disagree with that wholeheartedly As a matter of fact Let me try to rephrase Because as a matter of fact One of the most feminine Agreeable people I've ever met Makes twice as much as I do And I make six figures So it's not You make a lot of money Or you're very credentialed And you're disagreeable What men are saying is that Those type of women tend to be disagreeable And the other thing is They're credentials And for men that comes off as combative Those type of women are disagreeable When they are dealing with men That are not able to compete On that level When you are with a man that can compete On that level, it is You're not disagreeable So I wish that was the case Right, so speaking from my Experience specifically That's been the case And even in situations where I was more credentialed than the woman I was far more credentialed than the woman The disagreeableness was there In another case when she is More credentialed than me In some arbitrary case She felt like Our conversations had to be Now the thing, if I was a combative individual That'd be different But that's not my ministry So if we can't have a civilized conversation Then we have nothing going on But what black men are saying Is that an unfortunate Number of us Are having these experiences Where do we go from here? I find it very hard to believe That all of these Like do you think that most black men Especially the men that hang around in the ministry Are six figure earners like you No So I just find it very hard to believe That all of these black men are meeting All of these six figured High earning black women That just can't get along I just find that very hard to believe That all of these black men Are so hard to get along with I'm not saying all Because I actually take it upon myself When I have time to read the comments And what's heartbreaking is A lot of the men That comment on my videos are married A lot of the men who comment on my videos Are divorced A lot of men who comment on my videos My second largest viewer base Is like 44 to 54 Like these aren't little boys And they are saying the same things And unfortunately If this was about Women that I deal with romantically Tend to have these characteristics That would be one thing They're talking about The cashier At the grocery store They're talking about the black woman I just walked past on the street Two seconds ago About the delegation of black women And for me I'm telling black men, step your game up I'm telling black men The better you do The less you have to tolerate from your employer From women in your life From your friends, from this, from this, from that But they're still coming back and saying That I'm doing all these And I'm speaking from personal experience as well And I'm still getting these things Like One of the things that's heartbreaking is That the woman sees me Just off time, before I open my mouth Before I do anything Unfortunately, she sees something Very similar to what a white man would see A criminal No good And word And it's like I'm that until proven otherwise So the paradigm starts with Every way that I could potentially be dangerous I could potentially be ignorant I could potentially harm this person And then the conversation goes from there So there's no good faith on both sides So as I'm telling black men Level up and start assuming The best of your women And the women you attract and navigate The conversation from there Other conversations aren't necessarily Holding women to that same standard They're just saying, hey go find You somebody who's more agreeable Find you somebody that you don't have to Navigate the intricacies of their Black experience So Why is it that Black men Think that black women seem More feminine when they're with white men So I think it's two things Because you know I'm a history nerd It's like psychology and then history for me And first and foremost I think it's A Eurocentric standard You know, white is right Black is bad, right So Eurocentric standard On that power hierarchy White men have perched themselves At the top of that power hierarchy So it's easier to think The white man is just inherently A man Whereas every other kind of man Particularly the black men have to prove Their masculinity The other thing too is I think that Our women unfortunately give And I said this the other day White men And The LGBTQ community More latitude in human expression As a black man You have to be a certain Archetype You have to be the pseudo Masculine Fairy tale guy You have to be thug And sweet And corporate And a whole bunch of things that contradict each other I think he's a man off top You see what I'm saying So part of the conversation black men are having Is like, yeah it is You're pigeon holding to it But again, I'm talking to black men Who are worth a damn I'm not talking to the pookies, the ray rays and the dusties I'm talking to the ones who are actually Doing something with their lives And these are the experiences that they're finding So what do you think it is From your perspective For one, I just Do not see Because black men as a collective They're not And I know You say finances and all of that That doesn't make you a good woman But black men collectively Are not financially Like there They are not doing There is justice Report That came out just this year Talking about black men And the unemployment rate of black men Sure And the homeless rate You would combine that With the homeless rate And the Non-educated and the incarcerated And all of those Things make black men A collective Of Just not marriage material Just not marriage material And I do not Black men collectively Were mostly a man like you If that was the collective Of black men And not necessarily all of these six figure earners This six figure thing Has gotten way out of control Because it's not Even realistic I don't know where the six figure Number came from But I just mean doing well Employed Holding a job down Being a good citizen Type of stuff If black men That was collectively What black men was doing And the image of black men Then I could take some of this critique A little bit more seriously But I just don't I just can't sit here and listen To you know well I'm doing everything right But black women are still so masculine I'm doing everything that I'm supposed to do How are black men doing all of this stuff And we don't see it How are black men doing all of this So okay One of the things you said earlier You said that you don't necessarily care about the why But for the sake Of conversation Let's explore the why So collectively Like you said Black men make up the overwhelming majority Of incarcerated people Crimes and the whole nine Um Just from an intellectual Historic standpoint What do you think happened Um What do you mean a historic standpoint Well so you know the saying If you don't know where you're coming from You don't know where you're going Right so like There's a lot we can learn from the past So we don't repeat mistakes And there are a lot of things that are playing out now That are consequences of things that happened in the past What do you What were the ripple effects that led to where we are now In the current state of black America Particularly black men What do you think happened The same things that happened to black men Happened to black women Black men and black women both come from the same history Okay We both come Like we both experienced The same systemic Problems We both experienced the same systemic racism The same systems that was set up for you to fail Was also set up for me to fail You know because we're both black The same things that I could have fell into You could have fell into Because we both We both come from the same exact background So that's why I'm like the this the systemic Problem is just like I don't buy That anymore either I did for a long time I did but I'm like You know what at this point in time I don't understand how you are seeing All of these successful black women That are you know doing what they have To do and you're still blaming history I don't understand how that plays into it today Yeah So permit me to make an argument Right I used to think that As well I you know because I'm Nigerian and if you talk To most Nigerians Let me backtrack One of the reasons why I think I've found Success Is having these conversations Because I've always been trying To bridge gaps So one of the big conversations Were you born in Nigeria? I was born in Nigeria So one of the big gaps is like Africans and the FBAs They don't get along right so like This side is talking shit about this side And a lot of times I'm bridging that gap because I I deeply understand black history I'm not going to say Biggest scholar but We do not give African Americans enough credit Globally So I'm going to say that with my chest There would be no African doctors And lawyers and all the successes That we're finding in this country Without the efforts of black Americans So at the very least we owe them To understand their history I say all that To say In 2020 I lived in Baltimore And I had a few dollars So I decided let me get a penthouse So I stated a penthouse downtown I was paying a pretty Decent chunk of change for it And I thought to myself If for whatever Reason I found myself locked out of my building Because it was an old like bank Building or whatever and I was on the top floor You needed a key card to get inside If I find myself locked outside that building And I was outside the Building And I was with a black woman And we were both soliciting Somebody who was going into the building To allow us in Who do you think would enter the building first The woman Why Because she's a woman Yes Now when I really Understand black history As it relates to white supremacy One of the things that I learned And one of the things that's really insidious Is really still happening to this day There's a concerted effort being made To keep black men out of spaces And part of why That effort has been so successful Is because white society Created a brand Around black men And that brand was actually established by D.W. Griffith's film Birth of a Nation He painted us as villains As criminals in the imagination Of the United States people So that includes white women White men and also our women And our men as well Sometimes I have to catch myself When I see a black man and I'm like I have to catch myself Even though I understand these things But that program affects me too So I say all that to say In this conversation We cannot discount history We cannot discount That mass incarceration is a product Of vagrancy laws When they free the slaves If you were called loitering They can imprison you And pretty much make you a slave again Because all it was about It was about exploiting labor Now till this day If you go into Any elementary school If you go into any grocery store Some of the meat that's being packed At the grocery stores Some of the desks that students sit and learn At the elementary schools Are created and made and packaged by criminals There is an incentive To incarcerate black men There is an incentive For schools to be In disrepair in certain communities Now When you say something like These things affect black men And black women alike Historically speaking, that's just not accurate Because your exploitation Might be similar But it's different My exploitation is literally For my physical And nothing else So I think, you know, for me I have to empathize with black women In some of the ways that they're exploited For their beauty, for their style For their lips, for their hips I expect some of that empathy To be shown back to me. Do you think that's fair? I do not think That black men today Are being incarcerated In high numbers Fairly or unjustly I do believe that Can we talk about Sentences Sentencing mandatory Minimums Maybe some of the laws around How certain crimes are prosecuted And again I I can sort of understand That this system Is not It does not put black men In any sort of favor They're not looking to help you Make a progress Keep going, I'm sorry It's not put on here to help you But it's like black men do not do themselves Any favor They themselves Praise gang life And thug life And crimes and violence Black men praise those things Black men promote those things Black men do those things Black men that is Black men have made that their own image So it's like I at this point As well as a lot of black women Continue to sit up here and still say that The white man or the white system Or anything like that is more responsible For Your image than you are Black men like your image Is in your hands Just like our image We still do Black women have a negative stereotype And negative things that are associated With being black women But your image is in your hands And to continue to blame white supremacy And things like racism laws When black men continuously Participate in the way that they look And in the way that they are looked At And you, even as an African man Because you're Nigerian You have a difference You have a different story To tell you have a different walk of life And a different background I've said this so many times The African immigrants I've seen this More times than I can count in corporate African immigrants come here and run circles, run rings around Black men. But that's for a reason. And I think what I've been trying to get at is that that is not because we are better. That is the wrong. I don't think it's because you're better, but I just think it's because you have higher states. You're not born here. No, no, that's not why either. When you come here, when Africans come here and they hit the ground running, okay? They go through that whole immigration process, okay? Black men could take easily, could easily take full advantage of the same things that African immigrants come here and take advantage of, but they don't. It's not that simple. It's not that simple. Why is it not that simple? So for instance, right? Because I like to look at things both ways. Back during, you know, Anabellum times, white supremacy created three black female tropes. The Jezebel, the Sapphire, and the Jezebel, Sapphire. And I can't remember the Mamie, thank you very much. So the Mamie obviously is the motherly and Jemima. The Sapphire is the angry black woman, right? And then the Jezebel is the whole. It's the Cardi B archetype. And when I learned that, when I started to understand that and dig more into it, you start seeing how history repeats itself. You start seeing how unresolved and unrecognized history bleeds into the current day. And the reason I say that is, I think it's important for black men to understand that. Understand how those tropes were created, how those tropes were encouraged, perpetuated, like the Sarah Bratman. She was the, you know, the Jezebel, the first Jezebel, you know, and these things were projected on black women and what black women were put in situations where they had to exploit their sexuality to get anywhere. Black men need to empathize with that. Similarly, black men have been exploited for their physical labor since the moment this country was founded, whether it was their physical labor to literally build the country, whether it was their physical labor to fight and die for a country that didn't even recognize them as people, whether it's their physical labor. But do black men not also contribute to these stereotypes themselves? Well, again, and that's why I think it's important that we talk about these things the right way, because I could very easily say black women contribute to those three stereotypes I just named, but it's bigger than that, because I cannot bring myself to believe with my understanding of history that black girls are born to be hoes or black boys are born to be criminals. So if we can both acknowledge that, do we not believe it's important, it's incumbent upon us as adults to investigate the systems that turn perfectly pure black male babies into these criminals and these pookies and ray-rays that we despise? I think that this space in general, and actually, I need to know, I guess, because I'm not really sure where your channel is within this space. So do you consider yourself a Manusphere channel? YouTube categorizes me as a Manusphere channel. I am a conversation channel. So I, and that's why I watched some of your videos because there were some things you said that I agreed with. So you, but you haven't quite set up shop in the same neighborhood as the Manusphere. That's not my ministry. My ministry is getting black men and black women back together. Some people in the Manusphere have a similar ministry. Other people, they are essentially male divestors, the SYW, whatever. That's not my ministry. Literally, I'm trying to teach people how to talk to each other, black people specifically. I'm trying to teach black men how to better understand in order to love black women. I'm trying to encourage black women how to understand and as a consequence, love black men. That's all I'm trying to do. If you call that Manusphere, SYW, whatever, that's what I'm trying to do. Well, no, I have to ask because a lot of these channels are in response, like in response to Manusphere content and even like Manusphere adjacent, like people that continue to like push lies and slander and stereotypes. And so... Yeah, that's counterproductive. That's not my ministry. Well, they... Now, with that being said, I, from a marketing standpoint, I'm willing to exploit that. But ultimately, that's not what I'm trying to do. Yeah, right. Go ahead, I'm sorry. I cut you off. Yeah, I am too. I was gonna say that like, you know, there is... So one of the other stereotypes that black women have kind of was projected onto black women, even though plenty of women in America were on welfare, it's sort of projected that black women was the sole survivors of welfare. You know, we was the only ones out here on welfare. Welfare was... Which is incorrect. It's not true. Yeah, of course it's incorrect. But that was a stereotype that was projected onto black women. And as much... So this is the thing that I'm gonna say about the system of supremacy or the system of exploitation, okay, as it relates to black men. Black women, and we may not have had the same exact exploitations because black women may not have been used for their strengths, but basically, like our physical strength, but our assets and our attributes was still exploited. You know, as black women, we were as well, just as black men were. And it is kind of, again, we're both fighting a system that was not set up in our favor, all right? But what black men have done, they have, especially within this space, is that they've taken all of these problems and made them, you know, black women are the fault. Black women caused all of this. Black women caused the government to overmade telling these stupid lies. I think you should spend some time in the comments that I respond to, because I respond to comments like that. And this is why I think it's very important that history is taught the right way and it's taught accurately because... This space does not care about history. Well, I think what's important for us to both understand and acknowledge is that the best thing white supremacy did for itself is turn potential allies into enemies, namely black men and black women, because we're fighting the same battle. But instead of fighting with each other, we're fighting against each other. And me, specifically, and with the subscribers that I have and have a much growth that I see, my mission is to really clarify who the enemy actually is, because us bickering and fighting amongst ourselves and us using or scapegoating ourselves as the enemy, it does absolutely nothing. And the truth is it's in line with the plan of white supremacy. One of the smart people that I admire, her name is Joy Dugre. I think she's a psychologist. She's a PhD. She wrote a book called Post-Traumatic. That's bad news right there. So one of the books she wrote is called Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome. And in that book, she talks about how some of our behaviors as black people in the present day are simply consequences of some of the behaviors we were forced to have during slavery. So for instance, she uses the example of black women now find it hard to compliment their sons or go along when, let's say you're at a PTA meeting and the teacher is saying, oh, your son's so smart, he's doing so good. Everybody loves him, that's in that. And she was saying that most black women would say, oh, him, he's just, you know, he's just, that's just Cory, you know? And she made the argument in her book that that traces all the way back to slavery because on the plantation, if your son was a standout in any way, it would result in him being sold to another plantation and your family being divided. So that disposition was passed down from great, great, great grandma, and then great, great, great grandma learned that from her and great, great, great, great grandma learned that from her, same with our food, same with our way of speech, same with our disposition, same with our traumas. The other thing I learned about is called epigenetics. Epigenetics is literally genetic memory, the way that your body and your genes store trauma. And these traumas are passed down from mother to daughter, daughter to son, and it's passed all the way down. So when we're having these conversations as black people, if we're not willing to engage with grace, we're not having an accurate conversation because there's a lot to unpack and there's a lot of concessions, there's a lot of patience, there's a lot of grace that I must show you as a black woman in light of what you have been through. And not just you specifically, but your mother, your mother's mother, your mother's mother's mother that informs who you are. And I believe that men deserve that same grace because I think we both agree that if I had a son tomorrow, he's not a bad person off top. We both agree my daughter is not a bad person off top. Things happen, nature versus nurture, that turn people into who they could potentially be and become into who they are. So we have to have that conversation with historical context, with psychological context, with social context, with scientific context. Because if we just say we're not willing to add any context, we're not being honest. And again, I've never heard anybody in this space, Kevin Samuels included, have these conversations, especially around black femininity. And when you're talking about black women, it's never with context given. It's not, it doesn't have context. It's just- And I'm critical of that. I'm critical of that. Me for one, I'm critical of that. Absolutely. Like one of the things that I've been really saddened by recently, if I've had 10 conversations with 10 different women, at least seven of them have been molested as kids. We don't talk about that, right? And that informs who they become. There was a, I think it was a scientific journal I was reading, and it pretty much made the assertion that 97% of who you become as an adult is dictated by what happens between the ages of zero and seven. Now put that in context with kids who are growing up in abject poverty in the ghettos, going to schools that the teachers could give a shit about them, being raised by parents who are hooked on all kinds of drugs who are in gangs and in different scenarios. Are we going to say, are we willing and good conscious to say that those boys are just messed up boys. Those girls are just messed up girls. Or do they deserve the grace of our understanding what is being done? Cause it's not about what was done. It's what is currently being done. Do they deserve that? Do the kids deserve that? I think the kids of course deserve that. And I think that something definitely has to be done to help kids that are currently, that are still kids that are still growing up. They still have a lot of growing up to do to get, to put them in a better position, to a better position than we had growing up and coming up. However, nothing in this space, Kevin Samuel's included, is going to help that to happen. This is only going to push, that's only going to kill any chance. Heaven's Heavens is not here to help black men. And I do not, I reject the idea entirely and completely that he is here to help the black community. No, you are not. Respectfully, I think we're having two different conversations because I don't care as much about the Kevin Samuels of the world and the Tommy Sotomayors. I think we are incentivizing how entertaining those things are. I'm talking about real world practical. I care about black men, black women, black boys, black girls. What do you think we need to do to make sure they don't turn into these men that you complain about? I'm telling you right now that if you're, if you, because the thing about it is that like we can't have this conversation on YouTube and act like these conversations that you say Kevin Samuels started, these conversations that are extremely public, extremely popular are not going to have some sort of impact and effect on what is coming, what's going to come next. Okay. This, we can have a totally separate conversation that is not going to change what this space is doing. So I'm trying to transform this space. That's what I'm trying to do. So I'm asking you to help me do that in a more effective way. So instead of us talking about the people who aren't doing it in a way that you feel like is effective, what can men like me who actually care about black women doing better, black men doing better, black people doing better, what can we do better to make you happy and make the divesters proud of us again? What can we do? Well, I've already, I've already told you this, like divested black women have spent their time and they do not, they do not see a resolution. They see their only resolution is to go where they know they're going to be appreciated and respected and, you know, this, and I just, sorry, I just think that this is, this idea is, it is ridiculous that, like, let me give you a quick example because a lot of black men had a problem with these, the Supreme Court justice nominations, not candidates being married to white men. There was a day if this is, I mean, and there was like five or six of them, candidates, black women, had this day had come like 10, 15 years ago, all of those women would have been single, all of them. And it's just not a coincidence that they were all married to white men. They could have been married to Asian men or whatever, but I mean, it's just not a coincidence that they're all married to white men. And when you are, when you are opening up your options to races of men that don't see the money that you make as a form of competition, you know, because they're where they're supposed to be. They're where they have to be. The union is more evenly yoked because you're not the one that has to be the head of the household. You're not in charge. You're not the one in charge of everything you have ahead that can lead you. So it's a more evenly yoked and it's a proper relationship dynamic. And that is all black women want. So go ahead, I'm sorry, finish your point. I just don't think black men like understand that. Y'all, I just feel like black men who are not, like I said, you're not there. You don't have, the collective success of black men is just not a lot, okay? So I just find it very hard to believe it. All of these black men are just so unable to get along with women that make a whole lot of money because I'm just like, you don't have access to black men. How do you measure the collective success of black men? Are we talking income or like education? I mean, because like I said, we're not even like talking about a dollar value. We're not talking about the six figure that value or whatever. We're talking about the collective state because the black people in this country are a very small minority. No, I'm asking like what metric are you using to say black women are doing so much better than black men? You use the metric of, I guess, education, businesses, and career. Do we put those things in context because statistically black men do still out earn black women? Statistically, even though black women lead in education, that is absolutely true. They also lead in student loan debt. So do we include those metrics in these conversations? And you know what, I like that that is the case, that black men still out earn black women because it only goes to prove that black men have the male advantage. When you actually put yourself to it, you still out earn women because it's still in man's world at the end of the day. So when black men are working, they can earn. They can be the provider. They can if they put in the work to do so. But the student loan debt, like I have student loan debt, but guess what, my student loan debt and the life that I live before student loans was much harder than the life that I live now with student loans. I was, you don't qualify for the kind of jobs that you can get once you have that degree. I qualify from where I live better month to month. I have a nice, fat salary I can rely on when you don't have that and it's still needed. You still need that in order to kind of, if you're not a business owner and you rely on corporate jobs and salary and all of that, you wanna qualify for the jobs that pay, that come with perks and benefits. The reason I bring that up is like, even with black men that are doing relatively well because my network is comprised of men similar to me, right? There is still a condescension that our women have when they talk to and about us. And my question was trying to get to the point that that condescension isn't well founded because- What do you mean condescension? But because the condescension is we are doing so much better than you and the numbers don't say that. So that's why I wanted to understand what variables are we using? What numbers don't say that? Like when you say that, what numbers don't say that? Well, number one, I'm talking salary. You're not out earning black men. Number two, I'm talking education. A lot of women in general are getting educated in humanities and in fields that don't actually earn that much. So education for the sake of education, I think that's a separate conversation, but my whole point is this look down on that we're having isn't backed up by any credible data. Again, like when you say you're not out earning black men, this is the point, okay? When a black man is earning, he is earning well. The problem is the number of black men that are earning at that level is small. Like for the collective of black men, there's few black men at that level. If more black men was to be in that field or get that job or have that career, yes, the more black men would be high earners. And that's what I need clarity on because the stats are saying that on average. So if we got two broke people, the broke guy makes more money than the broke girl. If we have two high earning people, the high earning guy makes more than the high earning girl. So like, who will be comparing? I mean, we're comparing black men and black women even though that's backwards in itself because black men should be competing with other men, not with women. But black men always want to do these comparisons. And so what I'm saying is when black men have jobs, like when they are working, when they are earning, you still have access to that male advantage you can earn. But black men are highly unemployed right now. Yeah, and I think that's a really good point. So number one, when we go back to the statistics, there are more black women than black men. There are more black women than black men who don't have felonies or are incarcerated in the whole nine. So the number of women who can earn money outnumber the number of men who can earn money, even though that's the case, even though y'all have more numbers, on average, we're still out earning you. So like, why is that the case? Because you have the male advantage to do so. It's not, you're looking at like salary versus salary. What this should be is, you know, do you know how many offhand, how many black men are in the country? No, I don't. Let's just say, for example, it's 10 million. Okay, let's say there's 10 million black men in the country. If two million of those men have great jobs and they're all earning high, those two million men are still going to out earn the seven million women that also have good income. You're still going to be higher earners. But that still leaves eight million other unemployed men. Sure. So it's like, it's like, it's not, I'm not comparing salary for salary. I'm comparing the number of the ratio, the ratio of men that are not working. And I think that would make sense. However, even men who are uneducated are earning on par with, or if not more in some cases than women who are educated. But this education is still being held over their head as if it makes them better. No, no, men, black men right now, listen, black men that are not working, because this is the reality and this is the facts. Black men that are not working, there is an unemployment crisis with black men right now, okay? Sure. So if those unemployed men become employed, they will be competitive. They will be able to compete, all right? It's not about versus women. But I think it further makes my point because you're saying that there are a bunch of unemployed black men. So if we were that unemployed, it should pull the numbers down of how much we're earning on average. No. But we're still earning more. Because it doesn't matter. Like I don't think you understand what I'm saying, okay? Okay, explain it to me. Let's say like for the sake of argument, you earn more than me, all right? Sure. All right, great. You are a higher earner than I am because you're a man and I'm a woman, all right? But if there is few black men like that, if there's few black men like you to choose from, what does that, how does that help the collective of black men that are unemployed? It's not like, black men are not, they're not starting businesses. They don't have all of these LLCs and businesses going on. They don't. They're also homeless. There's a lot of homeless black men. Sure. There's a lot of homeless men. So, and I think that's the part you're missing. You're assuming that because black men also suffer some of the pitfalls of manhood, such as homelessness and incarceration, we also enjoy the advantages of manhood. So, what advantages of manhood or being a man do black men enjoy in this country? Black men would enjoy the same advantage of- No, no, I say currently, because you said they earn more because they're men. So, what advantages of manhood do we enjoy currently? Well, no, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying that men, just men in general, on average, earn higher than women. You're taken more seriously for certain positions. You can, you have, it's called a male advantage. If black men have it, just because you're men, you would get that benefit. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. And I'm saying this is somebody who works in, who works in corporate America and has friends in HR. HR, by the way, is predominantly run by black women. So, what tends to happen is black women tend to be more employable because of some of the things like mass incarceration. So, it goes back to the historical piece. So, there are more women earning money. Yeah. Because originally your point was that black men aren't doing that well. So, I'm saying, even though there are more women earning money, we are still making more. But you're saying it's because of the male advantage. Even without, but without recognizing that the black male disadvantage makes us less employable. But it's not because this, because I'm sorry, but this black male disadvantage of incarceration is something that black men could control if they wanted to. I don't think that systemic racism is completely 100% responsible for how much black men go to prison. So, what percentage would you give it? I really don't know. I think that if... Would you say 50 or less or more than 50? Definitely more than 50 because... So, you think it plays a part? Wait, which one? Mass incarceration plays a part with why black men are certain ways and are doing the ways that they're doing. You said it plays more than 50%. It's not just mass incarceration. Let's say a black man got arrested for something that he didn't do, which does happen. He ends up in prison and he didn't commit the crime. Like the Central Park Five, they didn't do that. All right, fine. There's all kinds of organizations and people that go to look, open up these cases and see if there was any sort of thing that was done wrong. Most of the time, the high-majority percentage of the time, the black man did something. Okay, there's black men, especially in these poverty areas, high poverty equals high crime. Sure. Okay, so it's like, I can't just blame systemic racism when you did an armed robbery. You committed armed robbery. Okay, and you're going to prison for a long time. No, but the question I'm getting at is you're saying black men enjoy the same male advantage as white men, for instance, right? So what disadvantage do they have comparing them to white men? Because you're right, let's compare men to men. What disadvantage do black men have compared to their white counterparts? What disadvantage do black men have? I mean, black men have the disadvantage of being black. Black is a minority, and you also have the disadvantage of just people assuming things about you the same way they assume things about me. And so we both go into corporate with plenty of disadvantages, trust me. Okay, I work in corporate too. I work in finance. We both face extreme disadvantages in the corporate world. And a lot of black women start businesses because they want to get out of corporate because it's really not that friendly. It's something that you have to adapt to. You kind of have to learn all of those ropes and all of that. So it's not the most friendly place to be. But this salary for salary, that is not the point. Black men make more money when they are working. That's the point. When they're working. But they make more money regardless, according to the stats. Great, so more black men should work then. No, listen, I agree 100%. As somebody who's employed, I agree 1,000%. The point I was trying to get at was this talk down that often, and not just with the divesting community. No, no, no. I'm not just talking about the divesting community. I'm talking about in general. There is a sense of, there's a condescension. And I think, for me, I always put things in historical context. So I know where it comes from. It comes from a lot of our boys were raised by single mothers. A lot of our girls were raised by single mothers. The authority figure for a lot of our people have been women. And because that authority figure were women, the girls grew up thinking that a woman is an authority figure. So who are you, little boy? Especially given all these things that you're talking about. The boys, unfortunately, a lot of our boys, they grew up wanting women like their moms and they feel like they need to sit at home, play 2K, while she goes and wins bread, right? And that's something I talk against. With that being said, how can we honestly have this conversation and claim that black men are enjoying all the perks of masculinity and madness in this particular country without pointing out some of the pitfalls of manliness and specifically black madness that black men have to suffer? Because it's like, when it's time to give out empathy, we should take it evenly. When it's time to give out blame, we should take all the blame. Black men should take all the blame. And it's like, that doesn't make sense. I don't think black men enjoy all of the perks of masculinity that white men have, okay? I don't think you have everything. Does the same way, as I said, comparing black women to white women I don't know why black men do that. I don't know why y'all think we're the same. We're not the same. We never will be, okay? I don't like white women. I think I ain't gonna say that. I don't like white women, but keep going. I'm sorry. But so I don't think that you are the same as a white man. If you were in, you know, you in the room, a white man in the room are, you know, you're gonna be looked at exactly the same. No, I know you're going to be looked at differently. All right? However, if you are saying, you yourself are saying that when you're working, you're earning higher. That does that not prove that you are, when you are in that environment, you're given fair salaries. You're giving good salaries. Then why do you earn higher than women then? Um, well, I earn higher because of what I do. If a woman was doing the same thing that I was doing, she would probably earn the same as me if she had more experience. You would probably earn a little less than you. No, well, so that goes into the income debate, right? Which is universal. It's universal, yes. But part of the income debate, part of the income debate, and part of the advice I give people is that when they really get down into the science, because I read a bunch of stuff about it, part of the reason that men get paid more is that men tend to negotiate where women don't. And this is across the board. This isn't just black women don't negotiate. Women tend to not negotiate because women are more agreeable. And that's part of the reason why men earn more. The other reason is men pick careers that women tend to not be interested in. And that's those are high paying careers. And that's why men earn more. So if a woman had the same job as me, had the same education as me, negotiated the same as me, she would get paid the same. There's no evidence to suggest otherwise. But what I did want to get at is do you think, and you can name any kind of scenario you want, do you think there is an advantage in a country like America that a black woman can enjoy that a black man doesn't? I mean, we're different. No, no, I understand that. I'm talking more so like from a societal standpoint. Because the whole penthouse scenario I gave you, that was a metaphor. So that building could be corporate America. That building could be certain events, certain opportunities. You would be allowed access before me because I'm seen as a threat. Do you think that's consistent in the reasons why black men tend to be homeless? Black men tend to be unemployed. Wow, no, not at all. No, because I would say that the same way I think that men, black men have the male advantage as to when they are working. They still earn higher than women, okay? But black women also just have the advantage of being a woman so that maybe someone might underestimate me or assume that I'm not threatening because I'm a woman. But that doesn't mean that I don't have the racial aspect. Somebody could assume that I'm not threatening and I'm also less intelligent. Or that I must have gotten here because of what's it called affirmative action or something like that. I didn't earn my way here. If it's not one thing, it's the other. And that's just how it is. And I kind of just go with it. Similar to my building analogy, do you think you would get a job before me, for instance? Because you check two boxes. Check two boxes how? You know, this whole inclusivity thing that companies are doing now. If they're able to check off black and women, they're all for it. I talk to HR people. So if two people are just this credential, black men and black women, who do you think would get hired first? I mean, I really, I mean, in finance. Because in white America, that's not the case. In white America, the man would get hired first. Exactly. But in black America, the woman would get hired first. So what male advantage are we enjoying? But that doesn't make any sense because in black America, are black men hiring black men? I can't speak to that. I don't know. But I'm just talking about black men and black women navigating white America. Do you think that black men would get hired over a similarly credentialed black woman? Because we were, why is that? Just because you're a man. And you have the credential because like any company I've ever worked for, especially even though there's a lot of women there, the leadership teams are always mostly men. And there's probably one or two women. But okay, so with that being said, if a white man who you've recognized and I think your movement recognizes is in charge, right? Who is he more enthusiastic about hiring? He's an, I would say most men would prefer to hire other men. No, I'll tell you. So he's more enthusiastic about hiring himself first. Then he's enthusiastic because again, we both work in corporate America. He's enthusiastic about hiring hot chicks. And he might start with white women. But second, he's going to black women. He's not enthused. There's no scenario in this country. But that's the female advantage I was talking about. It's not, it's not up there. It's not like I'm getting hired because oh, she's going to come here and that doesn't. Okay, so, okay, perfect. So you're saying the female advantage is that you would get hired over me if we had similar credentials. No, no, no, no. Because now, now you're conflating, you're conflating two things. Okay, so, okay, so we both walk into a company and we both have similar credentials. The company is owned and run by white men. Who were they more enthusiastic about hiring? My black male self or your black female self? It depends because you, as the man, if this position was something that they felt was probably more important, they would probably trust it with the man. And they would. A black man. If it was just me and you there. It was just me and you there. Again, but we have to take all these things into consideration, right? So they're not hiring for a C-suite position or anything like that. I'm just, they're hiring for somebody who's a subordinate. Would they be more enthusiastic, this white boss man, more enthusiastic about giving you an opportunity or me an opportunity? I mean, it's like, it doesn't, because I think it's way more to it than that. It's way more, because I can't even honestly answer that question. It depends on, it really depends on the kind of position it is. Some positions I know they want a woman in that position. Well, generally, and I'm speaking generally, and that's why I started with the building analogy, because you admitted that you would get into my building first, correct? Because you're a woman. But you were talking about a residential building. Yeah, but it was a metaphor. Yeah, but I didn't know that. You said you said a residential building. You weren't, I didn't know you're talking about a job or a company or a career. Again, the building, and that's why I went into the reasons why you would get in. The reasons why you would get in is because you pose less of a threat. The reasons why you would be hired is because not only do you pose less of a threat, you also help them check off two boxes. So when we put that in context with why are black men not employed at the same rate, we have to consider those things. That's because for one, black men are simply not applying. That's the other thing. They're not simply not applying. So what are the numbers that you're going by to, you know, validate that? For one, for one, if black men are not getting employed, I mean, if black men are not getting educated, right? A lot of times these jobs need education. So if you're not educated and you don't, you don't have that degree, they're not going to hire you. And you don't have the, you know, it's, that's just one of the things that helps, that helps me get in to the places I get into. So, so perfect question. At what age do you give up on black boys? You jumped. You totally jumped. Did you hear the question? No, yeah, I heard you. But like, are you? No, no. The reason I ask that is because you're saying black men don't, black men don't, black men don't. I want to bring it back to black boys. At what age does he cross the threshold from a boy who grew up in shitty situations and because of testosterone trauma, he became this black man that you despise. When do you cut that off? And he no longer deserves any empathy or consideration about the things that led him there. I don't really, I don't, I don't really see it like that. I don't know. I don't have an age that I give up on them. I just, I think that what I'm saying is when black men, like as full grown men, right? 16, 18, 21. I don't, I do not have an age. Dude, what, what do you think is reasonable? Drinking age, can, ages consent? Like what, what do you think? Let me tell you something specific that I would give up on. A grown man that's 45 years old earning $900 a month, should I give up on him? Absolutely. Should I keep, should I keep it around? No, you should absolutely give up on him. I agree with you. And it'll be, it'll be men like that all entitled, all entitled to submission, all entitled, you don't, you don't have any education. You don't have any income. You don't have anything. You don't have a plan. You don't have a mission. You don't have anything for me to submit to. And it's these kind of, it's these kinds of men that have all of these problems and all this correction and direction for women. And I, you know, what, what you need to do in order to get a man, but these collective of Black men, they're not, they are not making themselves better. Okay. So when a boy just decides whatever age he is, that this is where he's at and this is where he's stopping and I'm going to stop here, that's the problem. That's the point that you give up because any point he decides to stop trying and he decides to lay down and just stay down and stay, stay where he's at, then that's where that's where everybody should give up because you have to make yourself better. You have to make yourself into the kind of woman that that and to the kind of man that a woman would want. Absolutely. I agree with that. I think we are both in agreement of that. I think, you know, where we do diverge is like, I'm saying, for instance, with the submission piece, you should submit to the man that you're with. Yeah. And if you're with the man, regardless of how well or poorly he's doing, you knew who he was when you signed up for him. So for you to now complain about who he is, is idiotic, right? With that being said, when you look at the male, the white male man is here in the black male man is here. They're essentially saying the same thing. So there's nothing really unique to the black male man is here outside of the fact that they're talking about how belligerent our women have become. And how entitled our women become. And the black men is here are saying two different things. Okay. Tell me, what do you think is the difference? Okay. One of the differences is that the white man is here does not complain about women that have degrees and have money. They complain about women that are gold diggers and women that have women that don't really want a man for, you know, for himself. They only want a man for his money. Why do you think that is? Why do I think why do I think the white manager complains about that? Because they deal because, you know, that's something that their women that's a collective problem for them that they see. Yeah. I mean, it's simple. Black women are far out educating white women. I mean, so that's not a problem that they run into. The other piece is that white women don't tend to not pedestalize their education as a reason why they should be deserving of a certain type of man. Whereas black women do. So the interactions are different. But right. Right. But as a whole, as a whole thing though, but as a whole, it's about male grievances with women. That's that's pretty much what it is. Our grievances are different because of our racial experiences. But it's essentially they're saying the same thing there. But it's not really a yes. Yes. It's like generally men complaining about women. But but though the whys are, you know what they are saying matters. So what why do you think it's so different? Why do you think it's so different? What do you think colors it? Because because like white men, for example, they don't tell their women to choose better, choose better. You should have chosen better. They don't just say choose better. They also know that they have to give their women something to choose better from. Hold on. Let's stay there. So you said they don't tell their women to choose better. Why do you think that is? Because because the the type of men that white women have to choose from are good options. That's not why. They don't tell their women to choose better because their women haven't made it a point to get on the Internet TV, whatever and perpetuate this notion that black men aren't ish or white men aren't ish. It's black women who do that. So the response the response to men aren't shit is choose better men. White women don't say men aren't shit. So there's no response. Why are white men still complaining then? Well, in my experience, when I watched the white men is here, they're talking about like the girls who choose the jocks over the nerds and, you know, how they can see more like jocks instead of nerds. Whereas the black man is fair. It tends to be a lot more nuanced because this including trauma, it's including the racial racialization of how we move through the world. So when I'm talking about the black man is fair, we're we're responding as men to the things that our women are saying and doing. And part of the choose better narrative is acknowledging that women have an incredible power to literally dictate the marketplace. A friend of mine made a really good point. The other day he said, you know, black women feel like we're not listening to them. But a couple years ago, black women said they like their men bearded. Now, you step outside every dude you see is trying to grow a struggle beard. Because at the end of the day, the ultimate accomplishment for malehood, and this is consistent across animal species, is the ability to mate. So we listen to y'all black women have said I want men to go get money. Men are risking their lives and their freedom to go get money. I want men to look a certain type of way. Men are going, you know, but on the flip side, we're also saying we don't get that same grace, particularly from our own women. We don't get the grace of empathy. We don't get the grace of understanding. And we get, we get blamed as as me, right. I've had to deal with things that I had nothing to do with in an attempt to love and honor and cherish and join in partnership with a woman. But another woman might say, oh, whatever you were been through with your mom or whatever you've been through in your other relationships, that's their business. But I have to deal with your bullshit. And that's all men are saying. Do you really think that that black men collectively have leveled up and have because I, I don't think black men have made all of these changes because black women asked them to, like black men have been comparing black women to white women for like decades and decades and decades now. And, you know, they've been pushing colorism and this, you know, they've been pushing that narrative for decades and decades now. Okay. Black women have been said a long time ago, we don't care what color a woman that you choose to be with because you just keep black women out of it. If you want to be with a white woman, go be with a white woman. Nobody really cares. I think, I think, you know, that's a fair critique. And I have the same critique for some people in the divesting movement who make it a point to talk about how white masculinity is superior. So we can't, we can't be critical of something and do the same thing on the flip side. Because at the end of the day, all I'm interested in, and like I've said it on my channel before, I only want to interview black men who are interested in black women, black women who are interested in black men. For the ones who aren't, there's really not a conversation to have. And that's why I'm curious about you because I understand that the opposite of love is not hate. It's actually apathy. But you still want to have these conversations. So my question to you is like, what, why are you still having these conversations if you are divested and you've given up? Because that is, it's something that I think is important because people always you know, act like they don't know where this movement came from. They act like, you know, why are black women saying this? Why are black women doing this? And I think that it's important to be able to verbalize it and spell it out. And you know, even you just saying that, you know, well, you black women should be able to go off and not talk about black men when they're with white men. Yeah. After decades of black men doing the same thing, and black women are only just now responding. You know, it's just interest. It's so interesting to me that everybody wants divesters to be quiet after so, you know, so long and not being quiet. Okay. So I'm going to use a Kevin Samuel tactic. You have a Thanos glove and you snapped your fingers in the perfect world. What does that look like for you? What would you want to happen? Blue sky theory, what do you want to happen? You mean for myself or for like the black community or something? For all the above, for yourself, for the divest movement, for the black community, you could take it wherever you want to go. I want black women to be with who they want to be with without being, without people worrying about or trying to shame them out of it. And you know, trying to paint this like some sort of like racist extremist movement or something that black women just don't want to be with black men anymore or they're just tired of this and they're just deciding to walk away. I want black women to do whatever the heck they want to do. Let us wear our weave. Let us wear our natural hair. Let us wear our makeup. Let us do whatever we want to do. I want black women to do whatever they want to do. And that's exactly why I'm a divester that still talks to who I want to talk to because that's what divesting is also about. You can do what you want to do. There's not really these like tight strict rules. There's certain things that like, I mean, no, I'm probably not going to marry a black man, but I mean, I can still talk. Oh, wait, you said probably. So there's hope. You haven't divested. I have divested. Okay. So why didn't you say I won't marry a black man? You said I probably won't. Because I'm just trying to be, you know, I'm not trying to be overly combative because that's the thing that happens on these channels. I'll come on to a channel that I was invited on. And then people will try to flip it like I got here and I started acting the fool and started saying all this crazy stuff. And, you know, that's not really like what I'm doing. I'm only here because I was invited to be here that, you know, that that's it. And, you know, I saw people in your comments saying, you know, this is going to be a hot mess. Yeah. No, I saw it too. And I responded. I'm just trying to be not combative. Okay. So, so. Even on my channel, like I just want to say well fast, even on my channel, I don't, I don't use any of this harsh language that I hear some other diversions using simply because I just don't really, I just don't, I want my channel to be kind of more chill and more laid back. And it's, I tell black women how to travel, how to save money on traveling, safe places to travel at whether you're single or in a group, certain, certain fields or certain areas you should try moving to and things like that, especially if you're raising kids by yourself and you're trying to get out of a dangerous neighborhood. I think, I think black women need to get the heck out of these dangerous neighborhoods, these dangerous black communities with, with their, with their small kids, they need to move. They need to move out of there. So, and I think that's an excellent message and I, and I agree with that message. I wanted to have a conversation with you because I will never give up on black women, regardless of if they've given up on us. So, for the men that you've given up on, what is your message for them? Because you could have declined this. What, because I mean, 90% of my audience is male. So like, you're not talking to women and being like, come over here on this side. You're talking to men. So, why do you still care to talk to me and my audience? I only came because, because for one, I was invited and like I said, I think that it's important for people to also like, to want, who wants to know really, because it's, I hear a bunch of lies and a bunch of like craziness about divesting and it's a, it's a white supremacist thing or something like that. And like, I am, I want to set the record straight for what it actually is. So you're like a foreign relations person. I guess you could say that. That's what I am. Okay. I even have people on my channel that just tell me all the time, don't go over there. Don't talk to them. Oh yeah, I saw it. I saw it. And like, you know, I am fine to the, I would, I'm very good with who I bring on to my channel. You know, because I have a whole lot of black women that, you know, that watch and, you know, it's, I'm trying to be respectful of my audience as well, but I'm definitely like perfectly fine to, and people are like, say, Oh, you don't want your views challenged. You can't handle a, you know, a conversation yet. Yes, I can. The conversation I was supposed to have with Obsidian on Tina's documentary, I was looking forward to that conversation. I don't know why he didn't show up. That's, that's not me. But what, what can, because I think you, I'm a documentary filmmaker on the side. So I'm really like curious about things from the perspective, because I'm going to address you to somebody who's post divesting, because you've already divested. I don't believe it, but you say you've already divested fully because what you did was a Freudian slip. You said, I'm probably not going to marry a black man. You didn't say I won't marry a black man. Those are two different things, but that's by the way. That's by the way that that's, that's, that's by the way. So with that being said, how can black men who care deeply about black women, how can we, black men like me, the pookies, the ray rays, the whole nine, how can we do a better job to not push our women to that extreme? Because you, you guys are too far gone, right? The ones who've divested, are they too far gone? Okay. I would say, I would say. So how can we prevent or divested black women? Absolutely. Okay. I do, and I also think that more black women, every black woman is not going to be a divester who just, divesters do not, do not date black men. Okay. But every black woman, I don't believe that, but keep going. Keep going. Every black woman should at least be open to swirling. You have to be open. You have to consider other men. You cannot just consider black men. That's, you're going, that's the only way you're going to die alone is if you only consider black men. Okay. I was trying to talk to this other channel, and she's asking me why, you know, when in your company, why didn't you date a black guy? Because there's none there. All right. Because there's none there. And we can talk about the why's and the systemic racism and the, the systems of oppression that keep black men out. But I'm sorry, black men have too, y'all have too much to say. Y'all have a whole lot of critique. And I don't really see y'all making the moves that you need to make for yourself before you start all of this correction. All right. And I said, maybe if there was a black guy around me, maybe I would date him, but there's none there. So is it a black woman's responsibility to reach, to reach back and dates somebody that is not in her class, just for the sake of having a black family? No, that's not her job. I think what's, I think, I think what's dangerous about this type of rhetoric. Because it's, I see a lot of similarities with the save yourself black man movement. Like I'm critical of that as well. And my biggest critique is that if you think you're going to outrun your problems from a psychological standpoint, you really just repeat it. Like you'll see women who've had dysfunctional relationships with black men, they go over to white men and they have dysfunctional relationships. You have women who have dysfunctional relationships with men, they switch. Are marriages with white men last the longest? I'll get to that. They switch and they start dating, lesbian women and they still have problems. I think Pinkpill was one of the original founders. She spent all that time talking about how white men are superior. Now she's getting a divorce or she got a divorce. So I think the idea of outrunning your problems, I think it's a very dangerous idea because it puts the onus on everybody and everything else, but yourself. Pinkpill. Pinkpill has married for 20 years before she divorced. Okay? Sure, sure, sure. And I do not, I think that a lot of people misrepresent so much things that they hear and stuff that they think is true and think that happens. Pinkpill. No, I only brought that up because I thought it was funny. But with that being said, men and women alike, it's incumbent upon you to improve yourself to the point where you put yourself in spaces where the typing caliber of people that you want are available. So like I know... That's all you're doing. So as a successful black woman that earns a decent salary and has some student loan debt, that doesn't mean that you're not going to be around the type of caliber of people that you want to be around that are in your dating pool. Okay? Again, I brought up those Supreme Court candidates because they all married the men who was in their circle. And they're dating pool. I think Kintaji is... And that's my point because we're not having a full and robust conversation. We're simply just saying that they married the white men because the white men are more qualified. We're not having a conversation about... That's not... That's not true. They're... Well, that's what I hear a lot. Their disposition with white men is different than their disposition with successful black men. That's not true. Okay, let's talk about it. That's not true. What's not true? You don't... I don't know why black men think it's an act that you're just acting more feminine. You're not really more feminine. You're just acting like it. I said this again. He is doing what he is supposed to do as a man. He is the high earner. He is the... Even if he wasn't... But we're talking about Supreme Court here. Okay? So everyone in this realm... But I'm comparing... I'm comparing similar... Black... Some of the people who've found me on LinkedIn, for instance, for this channel, they are directors for Fortune 500 companies. Black men. So I'm talking about that caliber of black men and that caliber of white men not getting the same type of femininity from our black women. Why is that? Because that's not... I don't think that's true. There are not enough black men... But these are their... But these are... And again, I want to boil it down. These are their experiences. No, no, I don't believe that. I do not believe that because there is not enough black men of that caliber to even have... Honestly, have that conversation. There's not. You're not understanding what I'm saying. I agree with you. There's not enough. If I have any say, there will be more. With that being said, even the ones who are that caliber, where they are just as, if not better, than the white guy, they still do not have the same experiences. Why is that? Can we explain that piece? Because I talk to the white dudes too and they say the same thing. So why is that? I don't... I don't think that that's true. I think that... I think that a lot... I understand you might not think it's true, but this is what my research is telling you. I've talked to white dudes and they're like, yeah, she talked to me different. Even though I make less money than this black dude. And I've talked to black dudes and like, yes, she talked to me different, even though I make more money than this white dude. So a white guy and a black guy, both dated the same black woman and they both told you this? Not necessarily the same black woman, but in different experiences, yes. Their experiences tend to be different. And now I can understand where it comes from. I can understand where it comes from because I consider history, but most people don't understand where it comes from. But the reality is... The reality is, as a successful black man, I do not get the same disposition. That's not true. That's not true. First of all, I just... As a black woman, I'm telling you, and you... I noticed you say, you say we a lot and like, you know, you kind of put yourself with African Americans. Yeah. And I get... You've been here for a long time, so I guess that's why you do that. But it's... Because I'm not different. Wow. I'm not different. I pay homage to Marcus Garvey, to Frederick Douglass, to every... I'm not different. The only difference is, I'm an African who actually understands black history and how black history influenced African history. And not the other way around. Don't let nobody lie to you. But with that being said, this narrative that black men get a better disposition if they're doing better, that's what I'm telling you is not true. And I'm a black man. I do not believe that that is even... I don't even think you can even properly, you know, come to that conclusion with both you, black men, doing... And what I'm saying to you, what I'm saying to you, because I think empathy is very important. So if I was saying, these are the experiences of men I read about, that'd be one thing. If I was saying to you, these are the experiences of men in my comments, that'd be different. If I was saying to you, these are the experiences of my friends, that'd be different. These are my experiences as well. So what do you have to say to that? Like, am I crazy? Are these thousands of men crazy? Because you're... I just... Every time I've ever heard any body... Like, I've seen these guys talk about how they make money and they're going to go get a white woman now because black women are so masculine. But we're not talking about them. That's not the conversation. The conversation I'm having is, imagine a thousand meese, black men who are committed to black women. Black women are our only option. There's never a time... If you ever see me swirl, you know that I'm beat. Like, somebody or black woman shot me and my mom in the face. Like, it's got to be on that level, right? So for those men who are committed, who are doing the right things based on male curriculums or whatever the case may be, and we're still eating shit. What can you say to us? I'm saying that I don't see that as being a real problem because there are not enough black men... What's the definition of gaslighting? Making somebody believe that their reality is not real. What did you just do? You're not... Your reality... I mean, your reality is... You're stuttering because that's what you just did. No. I'm stuttering because I sometimes stutter. I stutter a lot even on my own channel, okay? I've always been a stutterer and I've been working on it my whole life. Okay. Okay. Okay. I was going to say that... I lost my train of thought now. No, you were gaslighting me, so pick up from gaslighting me. I was not gaslighting. Yeah, you said I'm crazy. I don't know what I'm talking about. Do you want to take that back? You think I do know what I'm talking about? Take your time. No, because this is like... It's funny to me because you're... What do they call it? What's the word for that? Your anecdotal experience does not... It's not proof of anything. I could have the same experience. Yeah, I talked to this one guy and it was like this. I talked to that one guy. That your anecdotal experience does not account for the collective. It doesn't account for what happens on a broader scale. It's your anecdotal experience, especially being the fact that most Black men are not even like you. If you're the high earner that you say... And that's the point. That's the point because the problem is if somebody cut what you just said and put it... A juxtaposed it with a divester who's telling her story, it would seem kind of messed up. When she told her story about how her uncle raped her and her dad left her and so many Black men broke their heart, your anecdotal... I'm going to put in your clip, your anecdotal experiences. So I'm trying to bring it... I agree with that, but I'm trying to bring it anecdotal. And it's like, are you not even willing to empathize with the type and caliber of Black man you wish to see more of? Because you can't... Experience is not anecdotal when there's research, when there's further research and there's further information. So I can't... No one could say that your experience as getting... I don't even want to say the word, the R word, the M word as a child is anecdotal when we know that that is actually a problem in the Black community. That's actually a problem that can be verified. So you put in gas like somebody on that. There's a huge M problem in the Black community. So you need data to see that men... You need information for you, for you to have your experience. Like for me to say, yeah, I dated this one Asian guy and this happened. So what kind of data... I'm not saying that it's not real to you or it's not really... It didn't really... Sure, sure, sure. So what kind of data would you want to see to validate what I'm saying about successful Black men's experiences with Black women? The first data you would need is more successful Black men. How many? A lot. Give me a number. A lot more to make... It would have to be so much part... It would have to be a ratio of the population. Okay, so give me a number. If I got testimonials from a thousand Black men, then I believe it's a problem. Give me a number. No, because you have to look at... You have to look at how many Black men are there in the country. How many Black men are educated? How many Black men are working? How many Black men are successful? How many? You can't just say, even if I talked to a thousand Black women that dated Asian men, it still is not... That's still a small number. It's a comparative amount of men that are here. The reason your argument is flawed is because you're choosing reasons to dismiss the grievances of these men. And men could very easily, and I think people like Kevin Samuel's, choose reasons to easily dismiss the grievances of Black women. Oh, you're a single mother. You shouldn't complain. Oh, you're overweight. You shouldn't complain. Oh, your hair had it. You shouldn't complain. So you agree with that. We should dismiss the complaints of men if their ratio of the population is in large enough to suffice whatever ratio you think it should be. And we should do the same for women as well, right? Because you're saying the majority of Black men are broke, right? Yeah. You could say statistically also the majority of Black women are unqualified for what they're asking for. So should I dismiss them just like you're dismissing us? But what are the majority of Black women asking for? The majority of Black women are asking for good men. The majority of Black men are asking for good women. So that's similar. But what I'm saying is what I'm saying, the only thing I'm saying is this. You said there's not a large enough percentage of Black successful men to validate these concerns. Perfect, sure. Men are saying there's not a large enough majority of feminine Black women to validate their concerns. And you think that's incorrect. There's not, because feminine Black women, that's not a measure of any kind. Like you might think something is feminine and somebody else might think that it's not. But you dismiss my measurements. So are we going to use measurements or not? Because when I talked about Black men out earning, you said, oh, that doesn't mean anything. Or Black men being a less student alone, that doesn't mean anything. I didn't say that it doesn't mean anything. Yeah, but it didn't validate your point. I don't know what the earning has to do with it, what Black men earning. I said that Black men earn more than women when they're working, which is a good thing. Sure, sure. That's what I said. That doesn't make, what does feminine have to do with that? I didn't. Because that's our metric. So if I'm going to accept your metric of evaluating how good men are doing, for women, femininity. But what is the measure of femininity? You can use the marriage rate. You can use... No, I mean, how do you measure a woman to be feminine? For me personally, it's more nuanced because I look for certain things. I look for her disposition. I look for how she speaks. I look for how quickly she says no versus yes. I look for different things. How enthusiastic she is to acknowledge and follow my leadership. Because I have done the work and I'm encouraging men to do the work to become the leaders worth following. So my metric is femininity. Your metric is employment, money. But that's the metric of masculinity. Men are successful. I'm not disagreeing with that. What I'm saying to you is you said there's not a large enough number of Black men who are satisfying your metric to validate their concerns. Men are saying there's not a large enough number of Black women validating our metric to satisfy their concerns. But that right there is the problem. If you are not these type of men that a woman would even want in the first place, which is really the whole problem with all these men in demand. For a lot of them are just very unmarriageable men. And they're not men that you have to make yourself into the kind of man that women want. You sound like Kevin Samuels. How? You're literally saying what he says. You have to make yourself the type of woman that these type of men want. No, no. So what's the difference? What's the difference? Because according to him, you shouldn't go to college. Because those men don't value that. Okay, well, what am I supposed to do? Sit in the hood and be poor as hell? But that's not the point. The point is the rhetoric is the same. That's not the same thing because that is not the same. No, no, no. The things are different. I agree with you. The things are different, but the rhetoric is the same. That is not the same thing. Okay, so if I was to say to you, you have to become the type of man that the type of woman you want would like. Because that is what we want. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If I have to become the type of man that the type of woman I want wants, correct? You have to become the type of man that women want, yes. Perfect. And if I said to you, you have to become the type of woman that the type of man you want wants, is that correct as well? Wrong, because men and women are not the same. No, no, but it's not. We don't play by the same rules. That's not the same rule. I didn't give you any rules though. I just literally said a principle. No, no, no, but you're saying that we are saying the same thing. We're not saying the same thing because we're not. Okay, let's reiterate. Okay, so we're going to take out the variables because the variables would be like money and femininity. But let's take all that out. I say to you, in order to get the type of woman I want, I have to become a man who's worthy of her. You agree with that, correct? Yes. And then I say to you, in order for you to get the type of man you want, you have to become the woman who's worthy of that. I haven't given you any variables. I'm just saying the principle. Why are you disagreeing with it with you, but agreeing with this with me? And this is the problem. This is one of the issues with Black men. This is one of the issues with Black men. You can't tell a Black woman that she's supposed to just not go to college and not go to college. I didn't say anything about college. We're having a college, just me and you. I said, you have to become the type of woman that the type of man you want wants. Yes. And the type of man that Kevin Samuel... The type of woman... I'm not talking about Kevin Samuel. It's me and you. But you thought I sound like him. So you brought him up. You said the rhetoric is the same. It is the same. That's not the same. And you're refusing to acknowledge that. Because men and women are not the same. So the rhetoric is not the same. I agree with that. You as a man and me as a woman, we have different goals and measures that we have to meet in order... I agree. Our measures are different. I agree. They are not the same. I agree. It is not negotiable for you. I agree. It's not negotiable for you as a man to be broke and still have expectations of women. It's not negotiable. I agree. I agree. I agree 100%. I agree. So for a man to have any expectation at all for a woman to not be educated, because that's too... I didn't say that. You did just say that. I didn't. I didn't say anything about education. Okay. Let me rephrase. In order for a woman to get the type of man that she wants, she has to become the type of woman that he wants. Yes or no? If that requirement... I didn't say any requirements. But with black men, this is the known requirement. And I already know... Okay. Let's take black men off the table. Even white. Let's say men. Because your mission is women should consider other men. Let's say I agree with you. So with other men, you still have to become the type of woman that he wants. Yes or no? You have to be the type of woman that he wants. But that doesn't... That has... It has nothing to do with what you do for a living or how much money you earn. I didn't say that. I didn't say anything. Black men, it does mean that though. Okay. You're talking to me right now. And I didn't... So, okay. Ask me a question. Ask me a question. You messed it up when you bought it up. Okay. So ask me a question. Let's reset. Ask me a question. Ask you a question. What do you require? And you know what? I just... I had a guy on my channel and I asked him, what do you require from a woman? Like, what do you need from her out of a relationship? Because I've listened to a lot of this. I've listened to a lot of these men. I've heard them say Hispanic women, they work three jobs and they don't complain about it. They work real hard for them. See, that's some bullshit. That's some bullshit. But that's what the men in that... That's what they say. And they compare those women to black women. Like, you should work harder like them. Okay. So let me level set. So number one, for me and my household, black women are the standard. Black women are the standard of beauty. Black women are the standard of intelligence. Black women are the standard of conduct. At their healthiest. With that being said, your first question, what do I require of a woman? I require a woman... Let me answer it this way. So I think a man's job is to teach children how to survive. I think a woman's job is to teach children why to survive. So I need a woman with a very intentional cultural disposition. I need a woman with a very intentional psychological disposition. And I need a woman who is optimistic and enthusiastic about life. Because ultimately, her number one job is to raise my legacy. So I don't need a woman who's stupid. My woman should be educated, right? Like I said before, you have to be able to have a conversation with me, and I'm clearly educated. So she has to be educated as well. So men who are saying we don't want women because they're educated, that's not my ministry, right? With that being said, life is about trade-offs. And in my experience, and in my experience, women who tend to be pseudo-educated, pseudo-successful tend to come with some trade-offs. Some of those trade-offs tend to be disagreeableness, a masculine disposition, and belligerence. Now, if I'm given successful women who's belligerent, blah, blah, blah, blah, unsuccessful women who's agreeable, feminine, nurturing, and all those things that men value, especially men who are doing their job. I'm taking that woman every single day. And that's all men are saying. Now, let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. That's fair. Let me finish. So with that being said, how much money you make and how successful you make, don't move the needle for you in my book. What moves the needle for you is, obviously, physical attractiveness. After that, it's all about your feminine disposition. Am I enthusiastic about coming home to you? Do you bring me peace? Because I have to go to war with the world every single day. That's what I care about. And I'm sure that's what the successful, intelligent, black men of integrity that are on my channel and other channels care about as well. Now, the ones who don't care about those things, they're lost. If it's a man who's talking about, you got to work five jobs like that's some bullshit. And I'll call, you could bring me on their channel if you want, I'll call it out. But as far as men who are on their job, they want women who are women. That's simple. That's simple. Ask me another question. Okay, they want women who are women. All right? And I've heard this other talking point, which you basically just alluded to, be his peace. You need peace when you come home. I could agree to that. That totally makes sense to me. Why a man needs peace when he comes home and he has a happy, feminine, lovely, nice, kind, sweet woman to come home to. But guess what? The reality for a lot of Black women is that they are the breadwinners of their families. They are the higher earners. They are the ones who are most responsible. They are the providers and the protectors of the household. You know what I would tell them? People have to keep the lights on. You know what I would tell those women? I would tell those women to go back to the drawing board and become the type of woman that the type of man that wouldn't require you to be the breadwinner would be attracted to. That's not realistic. That is not a realistic... Why not? Because like I keep saying, there's not enough successful Black men in the first place. And for Black women, everyone thinks Black women's standards are so high. They're not that high. Black women are very willing to settle for a lower earning Black man just for the sake of a family dynamic. But that doesn't make sense because like we both agreed, Black men are earning more on average. But that is of the main... So on average working and not working all together, Black men on average are still earning more. So what I'm saying to you is, yeah, you make $20,000 a year as a Black woman. Get with a man who makes $25. That you're not getting it. You're not getting... Okay, what am I missing? You keep talking about how Black men on average are making more. But you're not including in the fact that not a lot of Black men are working. You have to include the fact that not a lot of Black men are even working. I think the reason I'm not including that is because I don't know those men. I know the men who are. So my question to you is... No, no, no. What I'm saying though is, my question to you is, because you care about Black women, correct? I do. Okay, so how can Black women be more competitive to get a man like me and some of the men who are my subscribers and members? It is... It's not... Because you're right. There's not enough to go around. So how can you be competitive to get the few that are available? Because you have acknowledged they exist, right? We're not unicorns. Successful Black men are unicorns. Okay, so how can they catch a unicorn? Because you're looking at one according to that. I do not think it is worth it. That's why I said Black women must open their options. I do not think you should be fighting for a unicorn, searching for a unicorn, going on this plenty of expeditions to find this one rare valuable Black man. So you're saying it's easier to get a white guy? I think that it's not about it being easier. It's that you have more to choose from. The options are more plentiful. Why would I go to the point... So more plentiful means easier. More plentiful means easier. So it's easier to find a high-earning successful white dude than a high-earning successful Black dude. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. So you're just telling them to, instead of hoping for a unicorn, get an average white dude? No. Because white dudes don't make that much money. And they're also unemployed, and they're also in prison, and they're also homeless, and they're also uneducated. Listen, you have to look at the full numbers and we can always go back and forth with this. I know white men are in prison too. White men are homeless too. White men are on drugs too. White men, they're not... They do bad things too. We know that. But when I go into the company that I work for, guess who do you... And I come to company of like 11,000 workers. How many people there do you think are Black men? Well, that goes back to Black history and what I was talking about. But I guess my issue is that you're telling Black women, instead of competing for a man like me, they should compete... I mean, still it's kind of competing, but they should settle for a white dude who makes $50,000 a year. Why is it settling? Because I make more than a lot of white dudes. But you're just one unicorn though. So, okay, so you have two options. You can either compete for this unicorn or get what the white dude makes $50,000 a year. So what would you... How many of the white guys do you think in my company make $50,000 a year? How successful do you think those white guys are? I have no idea. I know making six figures puts you in the top 10% of the country. Well, listen, I don't know. It's not... Y'all keep wanting to do the salary for salary thing. No, the point I was making is that a lot of our women don't hold white men or white love interests to the same pseudo masculine standards. So the white dude doesn't have to make six figures. The Black dude does... Black women ask for Black men to make six figures. Now you can guess that. Sure, it might not be six figures, but it's other metrics. You guys impose... And again, if it was just me saying this at my age and other men saying this at their age, I've had conversations with boys in high school and they say the same thing. They're not making money, but they're talking about masculine features and things like that. So my thing is, why aren't you... Why are you grading white dudes on a curve and still talking shit about Black men? Black men don't... I mean... And you're talking to a white man who's... I mean, a Black man who's never been with a white girl. I've never even had a sexual one. So answer that to me. Don't talk about the Black men who talk shit and all that stuff about Black women and they don't get them a Becky. I don't grade them on a curve. I simply go by what they're doing in real life. I don't grade them on a curve. I never asked for a Black man. Most Black women know that Black men don't earn six figures. So I know they're not asking for that. We know they don't. Thomas Hammons himself was married twice. I don't know both his wives are Black, but I know one at least was. Again, yes, he had a job, but it was an extremely low-paying job and she was the higher earner. She was the breadwinner. She was the one that was responsible for that household, but he's talking about something be my peace. I need peace when I get home. When you earn $900,000 a month, are you serious? So a man only deserves peace if he makes a certain amount of money? You don't get peace when you're getting shut off notices and eviction notices and past due notices. You don't get peace when the world is falling apart around you. That's stressful. You can't be peaceful and stressed like that. I agree with you. And when the weight of that is on your shoulders as the woman, when that weight is on your shoulders, you're responsible for the food, clothing, and shelter of yourself and somebody else. That is stressful. I agree with you. Now, with all that being said, what peace do you expect from a woman like that? Listen, for me personally, if you watch any of my videos, I tell men, do not even date until you get yourself to a certain point. That point, let me finish. That point might not necessarily be six figures, but to the point where you can stand on your own two feet as a man. You have to build something. You have to be going in a direction before you can lead somebody. So that's where I'm coming from. With that being said, for the men who've done their due diligence, why do they not deserve peace? No, if you have done your due diligence, you will have peace. You will get peace. I hear you, but that's not the experiences of men that I'm talking to. Are these men married? Some of them. Are they married to Black women? Some of them, yes. Okay. Have you seen this report that 65% of Black men are in the middle class that everybody talks about and all of Black men are doing so great? They're all in the middle class. Have you seen this report? Do you remember what it said? Tell me. Okay. It says that 65% to 70% of Black men make it to the middle class when they are married. Only 20% of Black men make it to the middle class when they are not married. And the way people push this report, they make it seem like all of these men are single. These are single, successful Black men that we should all be competing for. When, in fact, it's marriage that puts them in the middle class. That's not true. That's correlation and causation. Those are two different things. No, the report says... Marriage doesn't cause you to make more money. People who are married tend to make more money, but those are two different arguments. No, no, no, but listen. Listen, the report says that it's the combined incomes. It doesn't make... It doesn't cause him to make more money. It's the combined income that puts them in the middle class. His income plus her income. So technically, while Kevin was married at $900 a month, he was technically in the middle class because of his wife. That's what puts Black men in the middle class. Okay, so let's bring it back on topic for the men who have done it by themselves. And as you just said, do deserve peace. Why are they not getting peace? We can't talk about that because that is the exception and it's not the rule. That's what I was saying, but the rule is that Black women, when they are married, are usually the higher earners. They are the ones that have the weight of that relationship on their shoulders. You're saying the rule is that Black women, when they're married, are the higher earners. Yes. Okay, so tell me some other rules. Let's talk about them. Because rules set a precedent. Like your expectation is that you will out-earn the man that you get with. Correct? Because that's the rule. Is that rule consistent? When you're with a white man or is it different? I'm saying that when I say rule, I mean that's what tends to happen, the overwhelming majority of the time. The woman is the one that is the main earner. Well, if she was a better woman, she'd attract a better man, right? Well, the thing is that a lot of Black women, they want to be with Black men and they are willing to overlook the income. They don't have high salary requirements for Black men. Everybody, I don't know why y'all say that. Black women do not have these high standards for Black men at all. So why is she complaining about that? Why is she complaining? If she's overlooking it, why is she complaining? Because y'all act like Black women have not tried. But that's not my point. That's not my point. My point is this. If you're willing- You're asking me why is she complaining? I'm telling you, Black women have done this. Black women have done this. They're not looking to have Black men that earn all of this money. They want to be with the Black men and so they're willing to make concessions. They have made concessions. And I'm saying that they don't necessarily have to. I mean, let's take it out of relationship, right? I was having a conversation the other day with somebody. They were complaining about their job, right? I was like, okay, you have two options. You could either shut your mouth or keep working here. Or on your off hours, you start developing skills. Maybe you go back to school. So you can actually get a job that pays you well and that treats you like you think you deserve to be treated in the whole nine. But as long as you stay here, you deserve everything you get. So my first question is, why aren't women willing to compete for the type of man that they're not going to complain about? You couldn't give me an answer. Then I asked you, why are they- What was your answer? I'm sorry. My answer was, I don't think they should be competing for a unicorn. Okay, so they get what they get. But why should black women all fight over a handful of successful black men? Why should we all do that? That's life. Either you're willing to compete. No, it's not. No, it's not. Okay, so you believe people are deserving of the best regardless of who they are. No, no. I think that you need to go where their options are more plentiful. Why would I go somewhere where I don't have any options? But don't you still have to compete even if you go to a certain place? Yes, I'm not saying don't compete. You still have to compete for the man that you won. So you're saying you would rather compete for a white man than a black man? It's a desert wasteland, okay? It's like fighting for scraps. So you'd rather women as a collective do that. Why should we all do that for a person that don't even think they have to do anything or be better? Those men are not good. I'm telling you right now, those men, those educated lanes, the few good ones that know they made it, they're really stuck up. They're not good men for relationships because they know that all the ball is totally in their court and there's so few men that are like them. So they don't even make good marriage partners. You can't even say hello to the one black guy I see at my, you can't even say hello to him because he's going to think that you're, hold on, I'm sorry, he's going to think that you're trying to get married. Maybe he knows you're divested. Maybe that's why. You don't know that. I don't know that. Maybe that's why. But so I guess what's tough is it seems like we have, because let's stop talking about women for a second with men, right? Because I get men who complain, I get men who are saying certain things about women, whether they're valid or not. Bottom line, you have to improve yourself. As you improve yourself, your environments improve the caliber and kind of people that you associate with improve as well. And that's all we're saying to black women. So is it like, so number one, you're right. There's not enough men who are doing good and doing their man job. Cool. With that being said, either you can compete for the, there's not enough Google jobs. There's not enough Facebook jobs. You have the choice either if you really want a Google job, you improve your resume, your cultural disposition to get that job, or you go with the more plentiful option at TJ Maxx. You have, you have a choice. So why are you encouraging women to work at TJ Maxx instead of Google? Because you're trying to make it seem like it's a downgrade, but it's not. It is. It's not. Why, how is it downgrade? The reason is, I'll tell you very clearly, the reason it's a downgrade is the same reason for me, a white woman is a downgrade. There is a, I think of love very practically. And for me, love is primarily about being seen. Right. A white woman can never see me like a black woman. She can never fully understand me and the things that inform who I am and what I am as a black man. So it is a downgrade just from that point. A good black woman compared to a good black white woman, not even the same. I take a good black woman every single day of the week and most of the people on my channel would as well. They are also unicorns. So when I'm telling men to do these things to improve themselves is improve yourself so your resume can get you a job at Google. So you don't have to work at TJ Maxx. That white woman, that average white woman is TJ Maxx. Same thing with that average white man. He's TJ Maxx. White people are TJ Maxx. White people are downgrade in general. That's a different conversation. Yes, but that's a different conversation. But for the sake of this conversation, I want to see black women who are deserving of good black men not have to compromise and get their good black men. And vice versa, black men who are deserving of good black women not have to compromise or save themselves and get a good black woman. I don't think you should go where the options are more plentiful. I think you should improve your resume. I do not think that it is realistic at all because it doesn't matter if every black woman improved their resume. There will still not be enough. There is still a shortage. That's what men are saying too. What about the shortage? What about the shortage? But that's what men are saying too. Men are literally saying, but listen, men are literally saying, it doesn't matter if we all got our shit together. There's a shortage. It doesn't matter. Watch your tribe. Wait. And I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree. Men are saying it doesn't matter if we got our shit together. There is a shortage. Let me finish. Let me finish. There is a shortage of feminine submissive, no agreeable black women. So if I'm supposed to empathize with your no, why are you unwilling to empathize with mine? Because I'm saying the same exact thing you're saying. We're just using different metrics. Because that is how the proper relationship dynamic, the masculine feminine energy work together. That's how it all works. But break it down for me. I want to understand. When I am with the man that is the man, that he is supposed to empathize with me. I felt like that's what you were saying. Go ahead. Keep going. The way it is not on me. You cannot put the weight of everything on her. And she's responsible for all the bills of the house. And she's responsible for carrying everything and providing everything. And you are supposed, it takes masculine energy. It takes alpha energy to be the head of household. It takes masculine energy to do that. And so, okay. So for me to like interpret what you're saying, you're saying that if black men got their shit together, black women would as well. Correct? It, when I hear these men talk about how other races and women work real hard and they don't complain, it's like y'all don't want to get it. Y'all just go into it. Nah, listen. I'm not the person to have that conversation with because I'm never going to say that. Like you, but you are saying it differently now. But this is what the majority of black men are saying. No, no. Okay, okay. So for the, for the sake, for the sake of the conversation you're having with me, Alan, I'm saying, if a black man does his job, he is deserving for the most of the most feminine, submissive, agreeable black women. Yes. I'll be the most feminine, submissive woman ever. Okay. God bless you. That's all I wanted you to say. Now, with that being said, for the thousands of men who are doing their job and still not getting that, what's going on? I do not. I just don't do not believe that to be true. No, no. Okay, okay. Okay. If you don't believe it to be true for the sake of argument, just go with me. What might be some other reasons why they're still not getting it? I've heard these reasons because I've heard men all say, well, you know, no, no, no, I don't want you to tell me what you've heard. I'm, as a woman, you have some insight that I don't have, right? I have a, I have a penis. I'm a dude. If I'm doing my job and you're still not kicking back that submission that you're claiming is a consequence of me doing my job, why is that? Why? If she is not being the feminine, and that's the thing. I don't know in what way she's not being feminine. I don't know in what way she's not. You're moving the goalpost. You're moving the goalpost. No, I'm not. I'm, no, I'm telling you that I don't know and I don't, I don't understand like what is what she's. So you, you name some ways. What would you consider not feminine? I mean, if she's still arguing and fussing and being. Perfect. Let's stay there. So she's, she's still, I'm doing my job. She's still arguing and fussing and being. Nothing makes her happy. Exactly. Then she would be the problem or there's something off with between you and her. Maybe your chemistry is not right. Maybe you weren't meant to be together. I don't know. So you're saying some black women are the problem. Yes, definitely. Some black women could, could be the problem. But what I'm also saying is that there is. Why is there a but there? Why couldn't you just leave that? Simply not enough. Black men have never collectively put black women in a position where we, where you can lead, where you can lead, where you have no black men collectively have never where black women are always the ones that have to lead. We're always the ones that have to do it. Similarly, we've never done that. So I don't similarly, I could say. Similarly, I could say black women have never had the disposition of femininity, even when black men did lead. No, I'm not saying that. Because you never let because you never let though. Black men never led. No, ever. No. So Marcus Garvey means nothing to you. Elijah Muhammad means nothing to you. Martin Luther King, Mary, Frederick Douglass. No, no, no. I'm not talking about those men in particular. I'm talking about the movements, the black Panthers, the nation of Islam. So you're saying to me there's never been a collective of black men who led in spite of circumstances created to exterminate them. You're saying that. I'm saying that there is never. I'm saying that black men. Take your time. Left their position. And left the community for the women to handle and for the women to carry. And they're still complaining about it to this day. Respect. We're still making this out to speak. Respectfully, you started by saying that we shouldn't necessarily consider history as much. But as we've had this conversation, it doesn't seem like you understand it. The history because you're making historical claims without any historical backing. I'm not because I've already said that I don't really think black women should concern themselves too much with the wise and with historical. But you just but you just gave me a why and an inaccurate historical context. You said black men have never that is a why and that's historical. Yes, but because because in this in this part of the conversation, black men today are not leading. And there has never been a time. The problem is the wise that you're coming up with or wise just to drive home the point that niggas ain't shit. And you're not willing to consider the wise to explain every reason why we are. Because I'm sorry. What? Yeah, because you're saying you're saying black men have never led. You're saying black men have never dot, dot, dot. And I've given you examples of those things being untrue, but you still want to stick to it. Like why are you married to this narrative? Harvey, because because this is like, y'all, there. Yes, there have been black men that did things. But you didn't say that at first. Because you started with the idea of black men don't do anything. I said there's never been a time collectively. So the Garveyites, the Garveyites mean nothing. The army of black men, the million man March, the nation of Islam. How has that how has that how did any of those help black men's relationship with black women? And oh, I can send you. I could I could send you examples, but you have to be willing to like actually read and understand the truth. But it seems like you are committed to this narrative. And my question to you is like, what is the benefit to you to believe that black men have never been men? What do you what do you gain by thinking that? You asked very loaded questions. Absolutely. You asked me very, very loaded questions. Yeah, because I think I think this is deep because it would be one thing if you were saying how black men aren't doing their job, that would be one thing. I think we could deal with that. But if your disposition is black men are incapable of and have never shown any semblance of having sense or or willingness to then it starts seeming like you think black male babies are damaged. And it's like that's not true. And you have nothing to back it up. I didn't say I didn't say black male babies are damaged. No. Again, I'm elaborating on what where your disposition is taking the conversation. So for me, the question I have is like, why are you committed to this narrative that black men are incapable or uninterested or whatever? Like, how does that serve you? Because OK, so like, for example, one of the things that I hear a lot, a lot of black men talking about is how back in the fifties women were just so much more cooperative back then women were just so much easier. The the fifties housewife was the perfect time. Women were less modern. They were more willing to take care of their men. And, you know, that was an easier woman. And they want they want to go back to that. They want they want to go back to the time when women just waited on men hand and foot. You know, that was easier. And my question has always been, when did black men ever make black women collectively suburban housewives in the first place? For you to want to go back to this time period, idolize this time period that black women was not a part of in any way? When did black men ever collectively put black women in a house? And all we had to do was have dinner ready by the time you got home from work. That's a real feminine position to be in. OK, no, absolutely. Absolutely. I agree with you. And I think, you know, you could very easily find out that answer. But my question to you is, is there any time in our history that you can point to and say kind of like men point to the fifties that black men were men? Is there any time you could point to not really not as a collective, not without mentioning, you know, names here or there, but not not as a collective. OK, why is that? Why is that? Because the time because the time don't exist. So OK, so just to reiterate, you don't think there's ever been a time where black men have been men? I don't think as a collective. I don't think there's ever been a collective time where black men, where black women could rely on black men and not have to be the ones in the lead. While you are complaining about the fact that you are uncooperative women, you have never made black women these and put people in these feminine positions where all we had to do was let you lead. So what's your evidence for that? Because that's a bold claim. It's the it's the world that we live in. No, I need evidence because we're talking about history right now. So what's your evidence that there has never been a time where black men have been in leadership? The fact that black men are not are not leaders now and still blame women for the for the position of the community and what the community is in. So the fact you're saying the fact that black men are not leaders now is your evidence that black men have never been leaders? Black men call the black community a gynaocracy and it's feminism. Now? But it hasn't always been this way. Well according to the information that they use and according to their sources, the black community has always been a female lead. Men need to get out the house. Men, no men allowed and all this stuff. This is what black men really have been saying. Yeah, that was in the 50s when they said this switch happened. But you're saying that there's never been a time. I mean, how far back do we have to go? Listen, you can go as far back as you want. Give me an example. You can go as far back as you want. Give me an example of a time black men were the ideal black man that you wish we were. If that time existed, I wasn't alive to see it and I don't know when. But you weren't alive to see any of the times that you're talking about. But even if you were able to point to that time, why should black women today look to that time all along the go? Because you just you just made you just made the very dangerous statement that there's never been a time where dot dot dot. But even if you were able to. So okay, what can you admit that that's not true? Or at least you don't know enough to say that. I don't. I think that that's not true. Okay, so why did you say it? No, I mean, I mean, I'm sorry, I said it the other way around. I think that that is true. But you don't know enough to say that. That that's the truth. Because that is the okay. So okay, so substantiate that claim. That's all I want you for the sake of conversation. Substantiate the claim. The black community is a can be taken as an example of what happens when black men decide to desert, decide to abandon ship, decide so that their presence is not required. So you're saying black men made a concerted decision to abandon. I don't know if a decision was concerted. I know. Okay, but but you said they abandoned their post. Yes. Okay, perfect. Before that, you said they never had a post. So which one is it? You you talked yourself into that trap. You said we weren't leaders. Then you said we abandoned. You're really like mincing words here and you're like really. Because we got to stand beside and behind what we say. Listen, apparently, apparently when black men and black women was was married and they were in the south, I guess that was the time when they were technically together. You know, they was together and when they came to them, when they came, you know, migrated to the north. And the more they came into urban environments and things like that and think times got hard. Black men decided to, you know, black men took themselves out the home. Okay, so I'm giving you an opportunity to recant your first statement when you said black men were never leaders. Black men were never leaders. But you just said they abandoned the home. Yes, but doesn't mean they were leading in the home. Okay, so what did they abandon? They abandon their kids. They abandon their wives. Okay, what is their role in their kids and wives lives? Um, to be a husband and father. What is husband and father? What is that role? I don't know. It's what it's what men are supposed to do if you're going to get married and have kids. It's what men are supposed to do. It's a leadership role, correct? But doesn't mean you're a leader in that role. Again, Kevin Tang was married. He wasn't a leader in his in his marriage. Is husband and father a leadership role? No, not not intrinsically. No. Okay, so what what are you complaining that black men did? Because if you were saying black men abandoned their leadership responsibility, we can go there. But what do you if we weren't leaders? We were never leaders. Then what is your gripe with us? What are we doing wrong? Black men complain that the black community is woman led. You complain that it's a gynaocracy. You complain that feminism has taken over, but you don't but you don't lead anyway. And according according to you, we've never led. I mean, I don't know why you're so caught up on if you never or ever led or was there a point in time in history where you at one time did what does that matter in 2022? Because history is cyclical and words mean things. And if you use very dangerous rhetoric and let's say, for instance, you have a son, you have a daughter and you're teaching them histories that black men never led. That sets a very dangerous paradigm. And I think that's where it comes from when people say the divest community sounds like white supremacist because you say a bunch of lies to paint a narrative that isn't substantiated by any fact. It's not it's not a lie. And even if again, even. Okay, so prove it. If you could point to this one time, let's say we both this and we said right now on Google, okay, we got online and we found this one time in history where black men was the best they've ever been. What does that mean for black women today in 2022 when when when black families are still led by single parent homes when black men are still highly incarcerated when the unemployment rate of black men is still as high as it is. What what does that one time in history do for us today? How does that help us today? Well, it's it's more than one time. Obviously, for people who know history, it's more than one time. I've given you a bunch of examples, but what it does is it changes the paradigm because one of the things that we often do as a community is we we we talk about ourselves as being incapable of doing better without recognizing the fact that we were kidnapped without recognizing the fact that we were put in situations to perpetuate our own dysfunction for the benefit of the white society that we now run to to be our saviors. You can't be identified with the Adoles. So but I say all that to say it's not even about Adoles, right? I'm I'm a pan-Africanist. I think is what you would call it. But it's just it boils down to we need to start telling the truth because the things you're saying aren't true. They're not true at all. But you're not but you're not and I said that to say because you you say you say we as as if you have some history as African-American men and really none. Well, so what's interesting about that is I get to enjoy some of the privileges that African-American men fought and died for. So I pay homage to that. Secondly, I still have some of the same challenges as a black man in America that African-Americans have. So I also pay homage to that. So there is not an us versus them and people who do that are idiots. There is a we. And when I talk about my African-American brothers, I talk about them with reverence. So it is a we. So stop telling our history incorrectly is my point. Then let me ask you a question. Go ahead. Why do African immigrants come here and do well? How come you know Nigerian immigrants are like the wealthiest immigrant group in this country? Why do they come here? We're not the wealthiest, but I get your point. Um, two reasons. Colonialism had some similarities to slavery. It had some stark differences. One of the differences that I think was beneficial to us. It didn't necessarily target the family. It didn't it didn't target dismantling the family like slavery did here. And slavery was very intentional to do that here because it knew that slaves and poor white people outnumbered. Yeah, slaves and poor white people outnumbered the rich white people. So it was very intentional of like perpetuating this function here. So we we tend to do better because we have that family structure that is a lot of times divorced of y'all and we have that cultural backing. But it's but but again, again, and this is the dangerous part. It's not that we're better. It is not that we're better. So a black man who who got himself out of Chicago, who got himself out of, you know, any hood around the country, we have to pay homage to that. And that's who I'm talking about. So when that black man still has issues with his black women, even though he's on his job, that's unacceptable. And why is it hard for you to acknowledge that? Because I will I will completely reject that claim. A thousand percent until black men can in more and higher numbers be in a position to complain about that. I just do not. I cannot, you know, like if I were, for example, like using myself as an example to say that every time a black woman does this thing, you know, we never get the results that we want. But I can only and I can say, you know, oh, the women that I know said the same thing. And the women that they know said the same thing, you know. But I mean, those are all still anecdotal experiences. And I've heard black men say these difficulties that they deal with. And a lot of times it always it's always like something from their childhood is one time in class, you know, this one time something stupid. It's always something that sounds like I think I think I think it's very dangerous if we become dismissive of one another's experiences. So similarly, I could say black women in mass are not deserving of good men because they're not feminine. I don't say that. I say that these are the things black women need to do in mass. And for the ones who are doing the right things, if they are getting bad experiences, that's unacceptable. Black men like you shouldn't like you could treat the 90 other ones like that, but don't treat her like that. Like she's on her job. She's doing the right thing. Similarly, at the very least, what you could say is if a black man is doing his job, he's deserving of a good black woman, but you're unwilling to say that. And that's so that's okay. I think I think we we had a very robust conversation. We've been out here for three hours and 20 minutes. Do you have any parting thoughts, any final words that you want to leave us with? I mean, I don't think that black men don't deserve, you know, I think that men deserve what they work for. You know, you deserve you earned like that's that's what you get. What you put out is what is what you get. Absolutely. And the same the same goes for women. And I wanted to say to your point about, you know, if you're if you're with these with you with these black men that are not high earners and they're not the kind of man that you should be with and all of that many black men are that's the dating pool for most black women. That's what we have to choose from. Okay. So it's not a matter of why didn't you just make yourself better for a higher and find him where and find him where like where look like where where should I be looking for this high value man? I don't know. I just it's just ridiculous to expect black women to continue to search for unicorns. It's unrealistic and that is the point of and you know, that's the point of black women opening up their options to other races of men. You it is imperative that black women do this. It's imperative. Okay. That's how you that's how you open up more options to different kind of things that you may like. I don't think what is so horrible about black women preferring even to date non black men like why I don't think it's a downgrade but like why what's what's so horrible about that about opening your options like what this this sacred black family you know this the sacred black community it's like this is not this is not on our shoulders anyway. This is not our we're not going to make this problem our problem. And the only other thought I wanted to leave you with was that a black man really was the it really wasn't crystalline kerosene you know pink pill it was a black man by the name of Ralph Richard Banks who first introduced this idea of divest when he wrote the book is marriage for white people and I remember hearing about it but I didn't read it for a long time you know and he basically introduced this idea that black women do not have to exist only in the universe of black men and black men struggles and problems and the things that happen to black men black women should should be prioritizing themselves for a change. Okay so this book is a big part of my channel. So first of all I want to thank you for coming on this was a good conversation. I know you thought it would be a shouting match and yourselves but you know hopefully they watch too that's not my ministry but all I want to say to the audience is you can't outrun yourself. Black men are the standard black women are the standard there is no other person there's no other community that will treat and love you like a good and healthy black person. I want my children to look like me and more importantly this is why our children need to understand history so they can put things in the proper context we can't know where we're going if we don't know where we're coming from. So study your history understand the context that you were born into and that you live in and I will continue to do the work to get black men and black women back together even if we disagree for three hours. So again I appreciate you thank you so much and yeah we'll we'll probably do this again. Take care. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. Take care. Bye. Bye. All right y'all that was interesting. I will drop the link in the chat and I'll open it up to my members first if y'all want to come up if you want to. I know y'all have been going back and forth in the comments but if y'all have anything to say or if you want to speak your piece this is your opportunity. Appreciate it Sean and boom that's the link. Appreciate it Catherine. That's what it's about. We have to know how to talk to each other even when we disagree. When y'all come in at once somebody anybody critical race theory we just need to teach history the right way. Kirby All right. What's going on brother? That was an interesting talking with that one girl honestly. Yeah like I'm just surprised by just like just by the fact that it seems like she wants to deny what's going on. Yeah I honestly feel like it is just pure fact what you're just saying but it's like she just doesn't want to admit the errors that she sees in in some black women's choices in the black community. Honestly I feel like I'm an average dude I just got married. Congrats man congrats. Yeah in November 21st. Congrats brother. I'm just a security guard but you know I make like I make like a little bit right well okay since it's kind of depends on how much hours I work. I work like 64 hours a week that's a lot over time but you know I make right under 50,000 which is kind of like the average right now for most black men and you know I'm still trying to grow. I'm still in school I have like 30 credits left to I get my bachelor's because ultimately I want to be a teacher a math teacher and you know I just I have a woman you know I'm Haitian and she's Haitian and you know we grew up humbly and she makes more money than me she works in like she works in a company called Striker it's like a company that deals with medical equipment and stuff like that for surgeries and she's the person who does the 3D modeling for like bone structures you know so like the robots can make an accurate you know precise cut and stuff like that she makes more money than me and and still she does not emasculate me for it you know like she makes like maybe about $10,000 more than me but that's if she choose to work like a lot of money like a lot of overtime and stuff like that she can make that much more but my thing is this the issue with the black community I believe starts with people nowadays not being humble enough to accept that not everybody got this you know six-figure career you know that's that's something I feel like a lot of people in our generation literally have to realize because it's all Instagram that they're seeing all this you know black luxury you know and I feel like you're going for that type of standards that's really going to be tough you know because I look at like basketball right would you rather make a three-point shot or would you rather get an easy layup right you know if everybody wants to make the three-point shot is it's the popular thing it's it's it's it's flashier or more popular or whatever and it's like but it's harder to make versus just getting your easy two points instead and I feel like if you're going if black women want to go for this high value male they have to understand that it's going to be harder to find and you're going to you have to compete you have to compete you know and I think that was the the the sticking point because she agrees that men should compete but she doesn't agree that women should compete and that's what I was trying to get her to like admit but she kept dancing around it but like for me like I make 50 000 my girl makes about like 60 000 so it's like we put our income together and we're above like middle class I believe right right and it's beautiful and I'm just thinking like if if women just think about like just starting off with your man at a reasonable point and then grow you know I feel like it'll it'll be more better for the black community but as long as our egos are in the way of what we want then it's not going to be a success no that's it that's a tremendous point man I appreciate you coming up I got to get to the next person but definitely come back next time bro I'm gonna do do these every Friday so we'll chop it up later all right brother take care what's up boss man how you doing sir I'm good man how are you uh pretty good uh so I was a lot that was a lot that was a lot word up I could I was uh I was really um I was really happy to see you know saying like you you was really inspiring how you talked and the questions you asked uh you know um I do listen to your content I'm a new subscriber but preset it preset it was it was so um I've been watching but I just tonight I subscribed because I don't want to well neither here nor there so I just listened to the conversation like I was trying to you know comment on some things it was really hurtful um like I think it's even uh bringing up emotion in me right now and it's and that's probably for my shortcomings and you know we know that mental health is uh important and you know just just to be coming the best version of yourself and whatever it is that you see that you want to accomplish you know I'm saying you can go after it so you know I understood everything that she was saying I agreed with uh mainly none of it but I understood I don't I don't uh it was hard to watch that she was not understanding you yeah yeah it's not like you were saying anything that was hard to understand and you were specifically speaking to her so it was it almost took me like that you're not even listening yeah yeah and that's a lot of our experiences and that's what I was trying to get to understand it doesn't even matter if you are doing everything that they claim we're not doing you still don't even get an ear you still don't even get that empathy that sympathy that level of understanding and it's unfortunate um I think that there are a lot of women who do and I think you know the more we focus our attention on that you know what you focus on grows we can incentivize that behavior and that's what I want to see because like I said all I want to see is black men and black women together when you just listening to some of the things you were saying and I and I noticed in the comments like uh the talking points in that but that that wasn't part of the conversation so I was not bringing up any of the common talk talking points that are heard around the man is fear or whatever which I'm not a part of right Kevin Samu's content isn't for me but I take what I can from it to become what I want to be right eat the meat spit out the bones yeah I'm a welder right I work I just got off of work right I've been at I've been at work since this morning at one job uh from six o'clock to three thirty and then I go to my other job uh where I'm a welder as well from three well four o'clock to eight o'clock like you know I'm you know I don't I don't know where I rank at as far as earnings yes I'm above average but so therefore I mean just even in that part of the if I was the because that's what I was doing incorporate myself into that part of the conversation and she was talking to me specifically saying that I was nothing right I go what I'm make I'm not like and that's and I can't because there's I have so many other pitfalls that I'm overcoming though right at 42 but earning wise I'm way above right right what are you talking about and that's all that's all black men are asking and we're just asking let let let us be acknowledged for the things that we're doing right as opposed to the narrative that that's constant and consistent about how it doesn't matter what you do you will never be good enough and we all grew up hearing that and it's unacceptable it's unacceptable that was unacceptable that was unacceptable yeah but we're gonna keep doing the work we're gonna keep these conversations going I don't know if we'll talk to her again but I might have some women up here that you know are gonna reaffirm us and make us feel good because I know sometimes it seems like we're starving for that type of affirmation especially for my women but I want to appreciate you man come up anytime and yeah we'll talk soon I appreciate you thank you so much absolutely take care you too all right I don't want to butcher your name so help me out Tedros what's up man what's up brother how you doing I'm all right um that's good it was a good uh discussion you had I appreciate your poise thank you thank you and everything thank you um now what I didn't like is she was getting away with quite a lot of factual distortions and lies absolutely um I'm gonna be brief so I just want to say first of all the unemployment rate is like a one percent difference between black men and women so she needs to cut the bullshit out talking about some damn oh uh of the men that are working it's it's roughly the same so yeah let's bullshit okay and let's cut the BS out like black women they're all boss chicks and they all are you know it's not true right exactly so it's like this is bullshit you know I'm saying it's propaganda it's propaganda it's just an excuse for bad behavior okay and lastly I mean this is not I understand this is not the message you want to promote on your channel you're about bridging gaps right Africans and black Americans black men black women I appreciate that but at the same time black women hate when we bring this shit up but god damn it excuse my language okay we know damn well okay so she's talking about how a lot of these women are the breadwinners a lot of the breadwinners because they choose man voice like we have to be honest you have to tell the truth I'm sorry they hate us saying that but it's true this this is I always use this example okay you find me the version of the white version Nicki Minaj find me the white version of Sierra that that picks the white version of future and zoo petty that's a good point you're not seeing that okay it's a good point it's a deficient aspect of modern black American culture and more specifically black American woman culture so I just want to say that I appreciate your stream and absolutely appreciate you brother so appreciate you bro thank you man appreciate it take care of yourself are you too all right all right all right so we got some more people um mods if you could re-add the link to the chat if anybody else wants to come up but I'm gonna just walk work my way through um the people I have up here uh eddie what's up brother man how are you I'm good brother can't complain yeah what were your thoughts man break break break it down what what what what did we just witness man first and foremost I want to commend you on your patience man because it takes a lot of patience oh yeah you had a conversation and you kind of go through that I'm actually working through that with some people who so you know we need to you need to learn and it's important we had a conversation so first I want to commend you on that and your patience and then at the what we saw what is I exactly what you're talking about it's like exhibit a on display you know day to day in the relationships and you know every time we deal with black women not all the time because there are good black women out there they're probably doing what most good black men are doing and probably going after work and probably going home yeah so you have to kind of dig and you know kind of find you have to go look for them so otherwise you get what you get like you gotta say but um I definitely want to tell them man go away you're appreciated not where you're tolerating say that again that's the fact go where you're appreciated and celebrated and not where you're taller absolutely and once I learned that I actually start having a lot better outcomes you're always you're always gonna want to strive to do better your income could be better through your circumstances could be better you're always going to be improving until the day you die but do not let people mitigate or marginalize what it is you're doing and compare yourself all the time to other people what's for you what's for you absolutely and I mean that that's something I had to learn too because I mean like a lot of us we started off doing things to please people to to be good enough for mom to be good enough for that girl we had a crush on but when I started realizing that I'm the only one I need to impress man it changed it changed when I when I wanted to be cool for me my version of cool then the the women and everything it was a consequence so that's that's a powerful message brother thank you all right man yeah you too man take care of yourself absolutely well I just subscribe to appreciate you brother thank you all right man peace all right Philly kid yeah what's going on sir how you doing brother I'm good I'm good man let me tell you the ironic thing man the chick you just had on I mean that's what I'm saying I didn't I didn't know her but we from the same she's from Philly I thought so yeah wow that's crazy yeah we grew up in the same hood man and I could understand like her mentality because I probably grew up wasn't the greatest break that down um just poverty drugs you know single single mother's rampant you know I mean abuse um just all kind of stuff man so like I can understand why she feels the way she do about black men because like sitting on hood you didn't see a lot of black men there and the ones that were there they want shit I mean excuse me I mean they weren't they weren't the greatest yeah so that goes back to your point of when you're young that shapes your perception as an adult you know I mean and I think that she doesn't recognize that you tell me like she doesn't she doesn't recognize okay well when I was young seeing all this shaped my perception so it's just built up childhood trauma and like her her baseline expectation of black men is what she saw as a kid right man that's heavy that's it makes a lot of sense it makes a lot of sense and that's why I encourage therapy I encourage conversation because a lot of us and black men too a lot of our expectations are based on how our mom was or the girls from the block you know I mean so it's important that we we grow and we see the world differently so that's that's real man I mean I mean we went to some of the same schools you know I mean we went to the same middle school I don't know if we went to the same high school or not you know I mean and like I said I I get her you know yeah it's just it's just unfortunate that that environment made her into who she is you know I mean I mean I came from the same I mean literally came from the same hood right I draw trucks and I made six figures right you see what I'm saying Matt I just I just signed up to start my own trucker vision I just got my congrats brother congrats congrats you're doing a damn thing I mean black men we're doing it man and this only other point I want to make yeah she said that the black men that are working if the unemployment rate is seven percent right for black men that mean 93 percent of black men are working so you're so fixated on the minority you know I mean you can't see the majority and I think I think that's I think that's one of the main problems with the domestic community that's so fixated on the minority you know I mean they translate that to the majority of black men and it's just not the case yeah one of the what are the quotes I saw it said trauma keeps you at the age you were when you experienced it so a lot of them you know if they experience trauma at five years old seven years old they're still rationalizing the world as children so that's why like I people talk about you patient and all that I feel bad it's really sympathy let me be honest it's really sympathy and like a curiosity because when you really start dialoguing with women especially the ones that you you feel like you know ain't shitting this this and that when you really get to the nitty gritty of it like I do and I have to man man it's heavy it's heavy things but I appreciate you brother like I said come up anytime hey I've been subscribed man you're proud of that maybe like 2k man so hey that's what's up brother we gonna keep pushing this thing appreciate you man take care of yourself yes sir all right it's not what's going on bro not much man how you doing I'm good I had to push you to the front of the line you know you've been you've been a day one you've been a day one what's going on brother talk to me I'm gonna bring that up talk to me talk to me all right so real quick same thing as the other individuals I want to say that your professionalism your demeanor your whole appearance in regards to everything that you did up there top notch that's the biggest aspect thank you thank you when she was talking about how there aren't men like you more or less and she said that you're the unicorn my mind said immediately went okay so this is how you're gonna display yourself to an actual unicorn I ain't gonna lie I forgot the lady's name but you're kind of failing at telling a man like you or a unicorn that you know on the other side there are still some potential prospects but let me blitz to the important aspects I'm military right I don't need to make six figures although I have additional streams of revenue and income right most men don't decide to go the extra mile to make six figures to do 60 hours a week at a minimum unless they already have the wife and the kids that they need to provide for so I understand a woman who does have to what's the word pursue or seek out a guy who has the most money but for the rest of the guys who are still either a finding themselves or who have a long-term plan to get rich when they're in their 30s and 40s we're not trying to hear all that judgment stuff from women early another thing to say is this women also have their additional streams of income that they don't always broadcast so when you hear a lot of women who say that's not sure that men out earn women that's the reason why you'd be amazed how many women do real real estate or do stocks and trades and things like that or the ones who do the low I think I put it in a chat but you'd be amazed how many women have their like you know social media profile pics of them with their assets yeah yeah without without being negative about it that's the female advantage that they won't broadcast or advertise but it's out there for men we've got to do the straight and narrow we have to say or risk our lives or risk our lives it's either straight and narrow or risk your life yeah exactly like we have that long-term plan me and my step dad had this discussion he said that if you're going to be the head of the household you should consider a woman's opinion and the reason why the reverse may not always work is because as a man yes you're right I will absolutely die for my decision if I told her babe I'm flying all of us out to Miami or to Europe or to Saudi Arabia for a better job best believe I will work my butt off until my profits my pockets equal what I promised her we did it for a better job we did it for a better salary and everything will work out accordingly it's not like that for women and you can clearly tell when they say things like I need a man who has all this money so that way you know I almost said something I shouldn't I'm a flip and just say this when they do find the right man yeah they all of a sudden stay back at the house they do what they need to do with the kid they worry less about the finances because they know a man has it I'll I'll I'll just give them that they do but uh that white and black thing I don't understand why that's a popular discussion that women have I always want them to remember that as a black woman if you do go to a white guy more or less it ain't as sweet as you think like keep in mind you probably are just one phone call away from getting removed like in regards to certain we'll just say situations where police has to come he ain't looking at the white man is saying uh this is your house or uh are you bothering there's one he won't look at the black woman be like um excuse me miss are you uh are you lost maybe like do you yeah do you need hell getting back home like are you drunk and you found your way over here like right you and that dynamic they have that power more or less yeah I'm not going to say that every white person is abusive in regards to but more or less they do have that power to make sure a black woman knows that uh you are one step away from going back to where I found you there was a the show how to get away with murder Annalise Keen favorite character from that show right she was with a white man and that dynamic it it was interesting but I thank you for your time absolutely thank you brother I appreciate being here because oh my god I never thought this was gonna happen but man I'm gonna keep them going man so uh I'm thinking every Friday so whenever you pop up man I'm gonna throw you up on the screen yes sir yes sir all right man I'll see you next time yes sir what else on here absolutely take care of yourself man you too bye all right mr. Sean Jackson what's going on brother how we're doing how we're doing man I see you got a young king young lion with you that's for sure man that's for sure he was like what's she talking about I just first of all I want to say congratulations thank you thank you I've been following you since maybe not the day one or anything like that but like when your page was much smaller and day two day two but um I love the way you know everyone's already said it but your patience your demeanor your sincerity you don't get easily distracted and that you see that in your interviews and now we see it in real time so it's not you know you talk to talk and walk to walk I just want to say that when she was saying that you were a unicorn I'm sitting there listening to what you said you you know generally do for a living and whatnot and I was like wait we we're in the same field right wait you just say same tax bracket and the thing is you know only 24 percent of black america is poor like just straight up poor that means the other 76 percent are not and most of the poverty comes from the women and children not the men men at the end of the day and that's you know not a shot at that's just how it is men this is a work more dangerous jobs we're willing to move far away from the family to get that bread we work in more lucrative fields that are less people centered we we we that's why men make more than what they make it has nothing to do with us just having you know mail equipment um she seemed very dedicated to just delusion honestly like she she I figured she was a hood I knew I figured I just something told me she had been seeing some stuff right or wrong she had seen some stuff and she couldn't get over it and she you you had her cornered um your questions are so poignant and direct you had a cornered a few times and um she just that's why she would laugh because she's like if she admits that you have a point and she's no dummy I could tell it's cognitive dissonance she gotta tell her that herself that yeah it's yeah you can see the real time it's crazy like actually watching it happen but yeah you're right yeah man and I hope you do more of these I think that your conversations your more long form interviews and stuff and plus this it's it's exactly what I'm looking for I'm an FBA I was really feeling the FBA you know diaspora absolutely man absolutely I'm from bed I'm living I'm from Brooklyn yeah Beyonce and we uh I'm not from here originally but I moved here a while ago but we you know we were talking about ed the education and stuff my I passed I used to date women I have a master's I'm a software engineer I make good money and um I used to date women you know black women beautiful black women who were of the same economic socioeconomic caliber I ran into every single problem he's told me about now it wasn't that does not mean that all black women are like that but it's there I just had eaten years and a lot of my friends ran into the same thing I ended up meeting a working class girl from the neighborhood she worked a very modest supervisor at a grocery store we we're getting married in August we have a kid right now congratulations brother I don't regret a thing absolutely you know she gets it so that's these I just hope these women there's probably some women watching this or will watch this listen to this man listen to the men in the chat we're not making this up we're not just trying to dig at black we just need y'all on code so we can that's right yeah so we can we can get back to do what we were doing which was elevate the community but the men you know are just told to take responsibility but we don't get that authority of leadership we used to get that we won't take responsibility absolutely and one of the things I'm excited about when I look in the comments when I look at the chat even I'm not seeing like necessarily like single men who aren't doing anything I'm seeing men of caliber I'm seeing husbands I'm seeing fathers who are looking back and saying yo like this is bigger than than than just men complaining this is literally the branding of our community of our women of our of our of our men even and we need to get a hold of it so I hope people can really take that away and understand that these aren't dummies these are these are men who really don't even have to say anything for real when she was the chat was going crazy I was posting numbers in there people posted so when she was just talking about how so many of us are unemployed which is kind of what tipped me off that she might have had an upbringing absolutely back to the matter is even right now after COVID and everything black men are still 93% of us work 94% of black women work so I don't know what she's talking about and like I said it's obvious men make more money than women in general it's not a black male so all we're all we're asking all we are really really asking at the end of the day is hey can you come back to the table can we put the family above ourselves can we put the community above ourselves like we used to miss like you know that's black men you know there's Kevin Samuels have everyone's got different styles on this type of stuff MTR shout out to all those guys doing what they're doing getting conversation rolling but in reality that's all we're asking can you come back to the table can we get back together have these beautiful black children so we can fight this world and fight all our enemies and and and go do what we try to do in Greenwood and Tulsa back then but they burned it down that's what it's about that's what it's about man hey but I appreciate you man I appreciate the support come up anytime and uh take care of yourself take care of him too all right y'all take care all right all right man uh those were fantastic points that that's what this is all about I mean I I'm not a fan of conversation for the sake of conversation I I think conversation can be transformative and if if nothing else if if I can impart on our men and our women like the disposition necessary to have these hard tough conversations I'm gonna feel like a success so um yeah I'm loving what y'all are saying man uh let's see Rob Rob T his is loading Rob you there all right we're gonna bring you back uh let's see Rand what's going on brother how you doing man I'm good man how are you I'm good so kind of caught on that was that was a lot yeah that was a lot man yeah why I'm surprised yeah usually I get a little surprised I kind of wrote down some things just keep myself on track yeah definitely um cost versus value I think a lot of black women know how much things cost but from what I'm hearing they don't understand the value and what it is to be a good man that makes that kind of money and so um one thing that I know I experienced I uh after the market crash on like 2008 2009 I kind of decided to get my shit together so I learned how to get that free rock studios bus passes did everything I could studio apartments bus passes did everything I could to get myself to get free and during that process it took about six years um and I went back to college I got my degree I'm doing research children's hospital it's awesome but during that process when I would try to talk with black women it was like the minute they found out oh you ride the bus oh you know you got a studio what's that it was like this humanity I was no longer a human you're an item it wasn't even so much like yo I'm trying to holler I'm trying to date these are just conversations and passing and when I had these conversations with women of other races the it went completely different it was oh my dad told me right when I got on college like get in a studio and ride the bus and keep your debt low so you can pay off and so and like that already kind of caused a rift it wasn't necessarily looking for any like you know any romance or anything like that from black women at that time I understood my position but I couldn't even have a conversation I wasn't worth a conversation and that was kind of reinforced a little bit with the attitude that you were kind of getting in your show um and one of the things too that kind of bugs me with our culture is we have that while and out culture where people just kind of rip on you and they just make fun of you and make fun of you and I think you know I always kind of think about this but you know if you want to be be a electrician you kind of do 400 hours of apprentice work or if you want to do what I did where you're going to cut your costs pay off your debt put yourself back through college you got to live a little bit meager it really it's really interesting that it's like the ones who you would think be like yo you got a goal you're working hard like you may not be together but you know like it's cool like I support what you're doing would be black women and it's not and so I think that um that just kind of got reinforced in this interview and it was kind of tough um to listen to to be honest with you um I think we all have traumas and I had two step mothers two black women they were not very nice but I had to go through therapy to understand that that was them this is I cannot throw out the bath with the bath water and just say the baby with the bath water and just blatantly attack absolutely and so um I I also too and I'll keep this brief but I also think too like when she said you were a unicorn I just don't there's so many of us yeah intelligence that are calling that um you know are not concerned with the next pop culture whatever going on you know what I mean like I just it seems like a lot of black women are out of touch with who black men have become absolutely um I think that a lot of our parents a lot of us who may be in our 30s 40s now our parents were very like you're not you're not going to be on the court you're not going to have your pants hanging off your eyes you're going to get your education you're going to work and I think that's paid off I've had a lot of great conversations with black men just in passing where we're not the caricature that we're painted as yeah and so that's just I don't know it's just so tough I think that's what's like it's not surprising but it's tough to hear or painted as something that we we aren't because yeah our options are limited absolutely and and that that's that's something that stood out to me during one of my interviews she she said that um uh and it's on the channel I think it's the video I want to be a hoe and she said that I don't want a man who's doing better than me and essentially what she was saying is that you know it makes me have to step my game up so it's easier to be with uh a pookie and a ray ray because they don't expect much from me right the the their their demeanor isn't one that's demanding of me I can just be myself you know women often say I just want to be right I want to be celebrated at whatever weight at whatever disposition I just want to be celebrated so I think that's that's part of uh that's part of what it is but all we can do is improve ourselves and continue to become the men that we want to be for ourselves and eventually you'll find the woman that that's going to help you cultivate that vision for yourself and for your life and for your legacy that you're that you're building so I appreciate you brother like I said come back anytime I'll be on here every Friday thank you for the support um yeah most death man I appreciate you too man all right so uh Edmond you're going to be the last person because uh I'm not trying to compete with TLA I gotta I gotta go so I'm gonna work through one two three four five again appreciate you guys all the support for the new channel members for the uh super chats for the cash apps thank you guys all so much I'm gonna try Rob T one more time because he's been here for a while okay it's not working Rob I might have to kick you out of the stream uh and we will get you next week uh pesty observer oh what's what's going on brother what's happening what's up brother I never thought this you got nine nine nine pull up man what's up talk to me man I've been a fan for a long time man I think you like the real that real like the real medium we need with all these like with all these freaking podcasts blowing up and stuff I really think you the medium we need like I don't understand and stuff just want to bring up a few points I know like shit this been going on four hours now no I'm surprised I last this long when when TLA and them like do four or five hours like how do they do that but it just man I don't even be watching them I'm telling you man yeah I wanted to bring up uh first like I had a conversation similar to another I'm black woman like a close friend of mine I knew since high school and it was just like and it was basically just like um she was just basically just you know this and black men like I mean she she's with a black man but like still she just talks so much about like you know talks so much hard about us and it's just like damn and I'm like and then she was just trying to go on like why ain't y'all in this why aren't y'all in these fields and stuff like you know pun to blame on us and I was like you kind of really not being empathetic to like you know you're not being empathetic to like what we actually go through as the facts you know like exactly I'm just like and then she just and I'm and then she just said well like get therapy and I'm like well therapy don't mean it's gonna work you know some people just like you know go to therapy for years it's like it's a long process like healing is a long process and therapy's just you know helping you figure out what's wrong with you it's not necessarily like you know like what's gonna get you there you figure that stuff on your own and like we already you know we already it's already hard enough so I'm just saying like damn like absolutely that girl is she was putting me through it now I was in them comments I was going to broken them super chats and you know that that's that's been the biggest message that I've had like with each of the girls that I've interviewed because I haven't even dropped all the parts for each of the girls like so it's multiple parts coming out because I'm trying to stretch stuff out but there there's such a lack of empathy for black men and it comes it comes from white supremacy because we had to be mules essentially you can't empathize with a mule or a workhorse and unfortunately what happened is our women adopted that too and it's like oh you should be able to blah blah blah and do for me and do for me and and but I still want you to cry now it's like we're being forced to be even pseudo-emotional regardless of considering the reasons we're not so like keep having the conversations man keep having it from a place of curiosity but if you're trying to like change minds you're going to run yourself crazy oh my god just be a gatherer of data man I know because I know like we need that patience for to open up the love absolutely absolutely I see why you're patient if you're not patient with them like no matter what they say I know I know it hurt I know it sucked but you just got to open up with them because they like I know it's a long list of hurt like I know I've been hurt and like I know they've been hurt and I'm just willing to listen that's why like absolutely no we need more brothers like you man we need more brothers like you man appreciate brother all right man yeah take care of yourself bro I will you too man all right all right all right all right all right all right we got three more we got three more TJ talk to me brother you there I think TJ might have taken a bathroom break we we're gonna we're gonna come back to you tea goods what's going on boss hey what's going on bro man I'm chilling brother how are you I'm doing well doing well good good um happy to be on here first first things first is I want to say that uh your work is uh very much appreciated um that we needed you know especially coming from a young brother I don't know what you are but nevertheless um it is uh appreciated um thank you thank you I jumped in the middle of the stream in the young day I saw a divest and I was like what are they talking about and then I started to follow along I was like oh no yeah and her her talking points and I was just like man I don't I don't know if she came in prepared you know and and every time as as uh my brother's before me mentioned every time you had her pinned to a corner she just continued to move the goalposts and everything like that and I I know that's just a that's a female reaction to things right and so um it is bothersome because the conversation honestly doesn't get anywhere right you don't get to a resolution with that um I'm I'll say this is I'm 35 I'm married to a to a black woman she's a she's a superwoman you know what I mean um she's a nurse practitioner so she does well I do well as I do well for myself as um in the same right and I love the fact that your your um content is so uh family and black love oriented absolutely and some of the conversations that I've seen you had with some of those ladies I've sent them to my wife oh my god and the crazy part is I'm not outside meaning you know I'm not in the streets anymore but nevertheless I have a I have a son you know what I mean and then I have a daughter so I'm on both sides of it because I want my daughter to be I'll say this men marry the kind of uh men marry the kind of woman that they want their daughters to be yeah I got a daughter too yeah I understand I understand so that's me and women and even with the pop culture you get the Cardi B's and the mega nostalgia and whatever they go through they think that that's what we like or no that's a that's a toy for a moment it's not what we try to invest in it's not what we want to protect and I hear this whole protection this whole notion of uh protect black women I honestly feel and listen I'm I'll say this is that I'll go to the Will and Jada thing go ahead go ahead go ahead they keep saying oh oh men need to protect black women I would say yes we do need to protect black women sometimes we need to protect them from themselves interactions that thought processes and the fact that um as you mentioned so many times eloquently I would say is that you you you always put a point on the fact that they're looking for grace they expect grace and if I give it then it's a problem and I say hey listen we need it as well I'll say that my family um we're in a good position right and I haven't always been like that but it also took patience on my wife's side to kind of work through that whether when we're dating or whatever the case may be and I just say hey let's let's build together let's work together you know and the statistics will show that you know Kevin Samuels I'm a big fan of his and he shows or not him himself but the recent the research shows that hey women leave because they may be unhappy or whatever the case for trivial reasons yeah for trivial reasons and I know in the Middle East they have to uh it's very difficult for a woman to leave a marriage and um a man or from what I've been told they say uh a man has to only say uh I divorce you I divorce you I divorce you and they can officially get to get to get a divorce and a woman has to go through the ropes because they understand that women and their emotions hold on hold on one second um Judas uh I'm gonna have to kick you out man uh Edmund is the last one I'm gonna have you back next stream I promise I promise when I see your name pop up I'm gonna pull you up appreciate you brother but now you know what I'm gonna get off because I know it's still people waiting but I know you've been working brother I've never seen a fourth for our stream maybe this is my first one too and listen I'll be back you say every Friday I'm I'm gonna do it every Friday you have my word I'm gonna get my little brother on it I want him to get married as well so he's a good guy so you know listen appreciate you brother thank you so much I appreciate it take care of yourself yes sir yes all right all right we're gonna try tj one more time we're gonna try you one more time yeah can you know yeah sir what's going on brother no I had an issue I had to switch the audio I'm on pc so it's all good man it's all good we're not gonna talk no shit I'm gonna say uh salute you you know for me in the golden frame um I think a lot of points that she was making it was just like a lot of talking points that she probably didn't have any actual logic behind right and you constantly ask for statistics she couldn't provide any and I thought that was that's actually very dangerous but you're saying statistics based on your feelings and I can't substantiate that yeah there's no empirical data for that right oh I think that's very dangerous to you know give that information to other people and then accept it as if it's the truth right I appreciate you you know you know I know you who's trying your hardest to kind of keep her on track yeah yeah that's why you know in the comments people you know Sam you need a moderator for these type of you know back and forth because someone derails the conversation you kind of lose the point of where you're trying to take this and what solutions you want to provide to the community because ultimately you want to provide solutions so that we can fix this and move forward and then progress to be something more positive hold on one second um well my I'm gonna have to have you back next time sir um Edmund is the last one I appreciate you coming up but uh next week we'll do this on Friday so hop on uh Friday next week and I have you on appreciate you I go ahead and finish your point I'm sorry I was just saying um I'm glad that you were able to keep things on track and I love gotcha moments and anytime you hear a woman laugh that's when you know you got a cornered and she didn't have anything to say so I appreciate you know acknowledging that too so that was you know that's all I have to say I appreciate you thank you I appreciate me and I think you know I appreciate you all for really understanding the work that I'm trying to do because ultimately it's not even about us agreeing it's about us learning how to have conversations in the right way so for me to start off with the person as far right as this or far left as this could go I think is a new is a good jump off point but I'm really excited I'm really excited when I when I have some women over here to kick some more game to us about you know the the female psychology and and how they think and why they do things the way they do so y'all stay tuned man this only gonna get better and better I promise yes indeed so that's all I have to say thank you appreciate it I think you had about like six thousand so I've been around since then so consider it man we we're only going up from here man thank you so much DJ all right man all right last but not least Mr. Edmund how you doing brother please can you hear me man yes sir I hear you good first of foremost thanks for having me on your platform absolutely thank you I just I was just scrolling and I saw the uh the title yeah appreciate it I always try to make something that I would click on so I was like I would click on that so I made it yeah because I mean it's gonna be it's gonna be hot and heavy for the next yeah at least another week people oh yeah still uh discoveries coming out it's still stuff coming out so but no let me say man thanks for having me on your platform appreciate it thank you thank you seeing like you got a massive following to do four hours of anything it's hard to do so yeah brother so I didn't see I guess you had a young lady she was uh dealing with some feminism from what I could hear this is this is past feminism this is a whole movement where they're telling black women to expand their options but essentially get you a white man that's the movement wow how about get you a human being that respects and loves you regardless of what he is um I always say man in the integrated society quote unquote it's gonna be hard to control and confine people's options when you put people around it's like proximity it's like people are going to kill and abuse and exploit those who are in the closest proximity that's true 80 in relationships people are mostly going to date those who are in the closest proximity it don't matter if you pink green brown or purple you know if we we were on each other long enough we're gonna we're gonna beef we're gonna love we're gonna do all of that we're gonna do all of that but no I um really I saw the uh the Will Smith thing man and I just wanted to talk about it so man I think you addressed it um how it's related to black how it's related excuse me the white supremacy the way I um the way I interpret it or the way I explain it it's like it's a devaluation of black man because number one um they're saying that they allow they asked Will to go I don't really believe that because watch this brother if Chris Rock had swung back they would have cut the feed they would have hit the stage it would have been a huge huge debacle and then they would have forced the issue like bro you gotta go you gotta get out of here but the fact that he was able to slap this man didn't make those poisons venomous statements and then stay and accept his award that shows that this is just a standard standard issue it's just another black man getting snagged they're violent this is what we expect this is what me this is nothing different at the heart even a Will Smith like even he's violent yeah and check this out Will my angle Will is this would you have done an LGBTQ member like that I mean if it was a trans man would you have went up there and smacked it if it was somebody from the Jewish community right if it was an affluent Jewish person anybody we we know on the street you never would have stepped to 50 cent like that or hell even D.L. Hughley I don't believe he would have stepped to Steve Harvey somebody that would have brought up yeah you might want to sit down right right right right but my point is um he did that man and it was kind of it was awful because forget who was watching it would have been if it was three of us in the room and he had done that it would have been the same effect that's your brother at 53 years old you can't immediate your emotions we can't handle our emotions no better than the immediately go to violence I mean that's a comedian doing his job don't sit up front at a comedy show if you don't expect to get joked especially with a wife like he got like you you set yourself up for that I mean they too open bro in my opinion y'all y'all y'all know about the Smiths if they told us with the uh with the red table talk you know Sam listen Samuel Jackson had a drug problem you've heard him mention it you know at certain points but him and his wife never discussed that in detail right right you know when you open the floodgates you can't close them the criticism that's part of being a celebrity and in a society that we live in whether you're an athlete whether you're a tainer if you're in a higher tax bracket people almost expect you to just eat abuse you know I told LeBron shut up and dribble that's why supremacy like you're paid you don't have a conscience anymore you don't have an opinion yes you don't have an opinion you don't have an opinion there will be no more Ali's there will be no more Jim Browns that that can never happen so um it was just kind of bad to see that my brother absolutely yeah I was disappointed personally because for me I always jump to the kids like what precedent is this set yes when you're in school now if your teacher say something you don't like a little boy say something you don't like you you walk up and smack them because I honor that's it you know in there that's man it's unacceptable and I think I think the more brothers stand up and say listen this is unacceptable instead of this gray area we all live in this is unacceptable this is acceptable we I told my son I always tell my son um you gotta you gotta be able to leave with logic right absolutely you leave with logic I got a show called leave with logic by the way okay okay it's on youtube um it's uh it's uh it's on apple pod cats okay it's on anchor it's on shout out to you man yeah put put uh your link in the in the chat if you can um I'll help spread the word man it's lead with logic lead with logic uh yeah man and I discuss all these things I discuss you know things that um are relevant and um kind of the undergird that people aren't talking about because listen also I feel this way on the flip side Will Smith should be reprimanded I said this in the chat but we shouldn't throw him away though because at the end of it I agree with that he had a meltdown and he had some serious unresolved psychological trauma that need that's what you know when you don't handle that stuff it'll haunt you and I think that we just got to observe um a huge explosion that most people would experience on a shrink's couch or at a psychologist uh uh office yeah yeah man hey I want to say I appreciate you brother thank you so much if I see your name pop up any other Friday I'm gonna pull you to the front of the line hey I'm gonna support you black man appreciate it appreciate it thank you thank you thank you yes sir absolutely take care yourself brother yes sir all right all right I want to thank each and every one of you guys um all the love all the support is really necessary for me to maintain this patience at this point I feel indebted to um each of you guys and I'm gonna keep putting out good content um with the mission of ultimately reconciling the black man and the black woman so um new video dropping Tuesday um another one Thursday obviously um we might start the black men talk series on Wednesday it will be on Wednesdays maybe it'll be this Wednesday or next Wednesday but I'll obviously you know you'll see that when I post it um next Friday meet me right back here uh we might start at seven o'clock because six o'clock was close I just got off work and I was trying to you know get everything set up but um I appreciate y'all be safe take care of yourself eat good take care of your mental health stay away from crazy women and I will see y'all next week peace