 Hey y'all, this is Jamie without a bounce with Jamie and Abby presented by Ashley. And today our episode is being recorded at the Graduate Nashville. It's an amazing hotel here off West End. You can check out the rooftop. Also, their coffee shop in the lobby is amazing. It's so cute. It is so cute. When we were just out there, we noticed the coffee shop had pencils. It was made out of pencils. It's just, the decor here is just absolutely amazing. It's so fun. But on today's episode, we had Talyn Lawan. She is the wife of Taylor Lawan, who is going into his ninth season as a tackle for the Tennessee Titans. And she was incredible. Yeah, one of my most favorite things to do is to learn about the wives and let people know they're not just their players' wives. You know what I mean? There's so much more than just being a player's wife. And like for Talyn, for instance, her and Hailey Hubbard started feeding Nashville. And she's a huge animal advocate. And it's just, it was amazing to get to know her as a person. Yeah, I totally agree. So we hope you guys enjoy. I'm so excited for you to meet Abby. And I mean, I've known you for seven years now. I was just thinking about the first time I met you, that Fred's. Yes. Yeah, I was pregnant, I think, with my first. Uh-huh. Yeah. I remember that. Yeah, it's a while ago. I love it. Now the girls. Now I got two of them. It's crazy. I can't wait. I can't wait to talk about the girls. Your amazing house, by the way. We drove by the other day. And there were cars everywhere. John was like, he better be at practice. That was for the girl's birthday party. Oh, that's funny. And Taylor's in bed before my kids are. So don't draw on the other three. Sometimes I'm like, I'm gonna call somebody and see if people are going to bed before their kids go down. Cause I think you're just trying to get out of this. Yeah. Trust me, we do now. I mean, John, it's night, 8.39 o'clock. He's like, can we go lay down? Like the kids are still awake. We can't. I mean, yeah. He's not the only one. I'm not gonna tell him that. I'm just saying, I'm like, he's dead. Seriously. Well, since I don't know you or your background or anything, can we kind of just start at the beginning? Like where are you from? How you ended up in Nashville and all that. Yeah. So I'm from Canada. I'm from a small town called Lake Country or Kelowna in British Columbia. And I was living in Florida for a little bit. And then I got scouted for modeling. I was around 17 or 18 at the time. Okay, maybe this is something I'm supposed to be doing and I wasn't really doing anything else with my life. So I was like, I'll just see where this goes. And it brought me to Nashville because I kind of had LA or New York and I didn't want to be a really small fish in a big sea. And Nashville was still the same networking, but I felt like it was more like a small town feel, which was more close to home for me. So I came out here and then I lived out here for about a year and then I met my husband. I was about to go sign my contract and then he followed me to LA. What? Yeah, proposed to me in five weeks. I thought we had to hear about that. Wait a second, there's so many details we needed from this story. That was in Florida when I got scouted and I got down my modeling kind of trail. I ended up in Nashville, I think I was 20. Okay. So I think I was in Nashville at 20. And you met Taylor then when you met 20? I met him once in passing because I met his mom first and I met him and he was like, she was like, don't talk to my son. He'll fall in love with you. I was like, okay, no problem. Right before I was about to move to LA I got in one conversation with him and then he followed me out there. Oh wow. That's crazy. It proposed five weeks later. Taylor wants something he's scouted. Oh my gosh. And then how long after did y'all get married? Three months. Yeah, so I got engaged. Three months from when we met. Yeah, we got married in April. Met in February, got married in April. I just met him and I was like, I'm going to LA. He was like, I'm coming. Oh my gosh. No, no, I didn't like it. Like I never liked, I didn't like the industry. I didn't like how you were talked to. I didn't like the girls, like just their mindsets was all very, just not me. So I had a hard time in it. I felt very kind of alone in that. And I was like, this is not what I want in my life. Like I don't want this. Like it's got to lead into something else. Like there's a different calling I have to have. And so there's this guy named Josh Gates and he goes around the world just like looking at different mysteries and stuff in the world. That's what I wanted to do. I swear. So I wanted to go on all these expeditions. So I ended up going to South America and did a documentary on animal trafficking. And yeah, I did that. And so I met Taylor in February, we got married in April and I did it in August. So you were the host of that, of like a series? Yeah, I'll tell you what, be 29 years old and watch yourself at 21 talk for a whole couple hours a little. I'm like, I can never tell anybody about this. I'm like, no one can do that. But no, I look at it too, but it's just like I'm so proud of myself for doing that. And the documentary, we put it down in South America first and it ended up like getting a law change to protect Andy and bears down there. Yeah, so I came back and I was gonna do another one about wolves and Yellowstone and then when came along and surprised us and now things took a little bit of a different direction. And I remember being like, I'll just take her, she'll be what six weeks old, I'll just strap her to me and we'll go to Yellowstone and it'll be fine. And then at six weeks old, I'm like, I'm not leaving my house. You're like safe space. Not happening. So now that's kind of on the back burner and I'm just enjoying being a mom. Oh my gosh, that's so cool. You're a really big advocate for animals in Nashville, everywhere. How did you start with that love of animals? So I think I've just always loved animals as a child and I think most children do. I just never grew out of it. So then I think that I've always had a heart for things that don't have a voice or people or animals that can't help themselves. And I remember before I had my children, they were like, oh, just wait because after you have kids, you'll be just as passionate about kids. I'm like, no, no, animals is my calling. And then you have kids and I'm like, oh, God, like now I just want to help every child in the world and it's so true. But I think it just comes from me. I just have a heart to want, I just want to help things that can't help themselves. And I just feel like we have such a responsibility to like take care of everything instead of just like every one. And that kind of goes out to animals. And I think with being in South America, you start to realize how much, even just like the little beetles there, like effect the ecosystem that like affects us up here. And so like when I just started seeing all that, I'm like, wow, there's just so much that we can do to help. So then I just That's amazing, that's amazing. So how many animals do you have? Oh, we've got 13 chickens, three ducks, one bunny, three horses and three dogs. You just got surprised with the horse. I did, yeah. My third horse. Oh, she's gorgeous. Oh my gosh. She is gorgeous. I cannot wait. She's staying in Arizona because that's where my husband is from. So you just go out there and ride and I've got two here and then I've got one in Arizona. That's so cool. So what kind of riding do you do here? So it's English, Charles. I'm learning English. It's just a harder way of riding and I think it's just a good foundation to start on because the only horseback riding I actually have in my past is bear back on some horse clanging on for dear life and hoping for the best of it. It's kind of like a ranch horse, you know what I mean? Like I've never done the proper like training. Yeah, so I'm starting now. I'm actually doing it with my daughter. So like on Wednesday, we will both go and we'll both learn together. Like I want to start learning Italian so I'm gonna do that with her too. So I'm trying to like start this thing where like we learn things together and I feel like it'll help her stay with it and it'll keep me accountable too. So yeah. That's so cool. Okay, so how old are your daughters? I got a five year old and a two year old. Okay. Yeah. I got one that looks exactly like me and one that looks exactly like Taylor. Do they act like? Uh, they're both like some. When is more me? She's very like empathetic and like softer and Willow is just. Willow is just a whole, like when makes me look like the best parent in the world? Yeah. Willow humbles me. I was gonna ask if you had that motherly like experience where you're like, I'm the best mom on your first and then on your second, you're like, Oh, never mind. I don't think there's does it. Like, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. My first was that and then my second was the easy one and I was like, okay, I kind of understand now like why people want a ton of kids. Yeah, it's exactly what I was saying. Like, I mean, I think I would go for one more but like if they were all Willows, I couldn't. Yeah, that's hilarious. I couldn't. She's fun and she's sweet and she's hilarious but she's so like determined and strong and just wild. No fearless. Yeah. So fearless. And I'm like, she's, I wish Taylor could hang out with her every day because I'm like, this is your kid. You dig her. How's it been having him home all summer? It's been good. So I was in Canada for most of the summer for the first time in three years because of COVID. And so he came up with me for the first time. I mean, he hasn't really been able to spend time with my family up there. So it was really nice having him there. But then he left and came back down for, he was probably down here for about three weeks before I was. So we had a big kind of space away from each other and now like having him back, it's been like, it's been nice. It's been, it's good to miss him. Yeah. He's like, it's having me. How did you adjust being an NFL life? It's a fun story, like how we met. But I went from like, my maiden name is Taylor and Gallagher. And I always try to like describe it as like, I thought Taylor and Gallagher and Taylor and the Juan had to be two different people. And so I had a bit of an identity crisis because I went from like, I was just working down here and I was going to go back home and like the whole family, like I have a big family and they're all there and my plan was to always go back. I never imagined living or raising children away from them. And then so I become this wife, like when a world went, I'm like, okay, I'm a wife now. I'm like, oh, now my wife has sent me in the spotlight. Like, what does that look like? And also now I'm pregnant and I'm like, oh my God, I'm almost like, what am I? You know what I mean? And I just had this huge, almost like crisis and then, but then it's hard to have a crisis when you're like, wow, I should be so thankful. Because like, look at all that I've been given in life. Like I have this husband who loves me and this beautiful daughter and we have all this freedom his job has just given us so much, but yet I'm freaking out. You know what I mean? Like I don't know who I am. You're a human. You're a human. So, and then being, I was 22. You're young, yeah. How do you process all of that? It was just, it was like, it was really tough for me and Taylor's a really big personality. And what comes with that is it's really high highs and really low lows because he is so in the center of attention and he puts himself there that when if things go wrong, he's going to be the first person that's going to be torn apart for it. You know what I mean? And it's like, as much as he's this big, like tough guy, like he loves to be loved. And I think that's why he has this personality that loves this attention. So when things get low, it was also like, holy, like it's like, it's me, I'm looking, I'm like, who, like if these people said that to your face, like you wouldn't care. You know what I mean? But it's like trying to go through that whole process when we were both so young. It's like that was like, I think one of the biggest things in the NFL world where I was like, holy, like, what's happening? You're taking care of him and your baby and trying to figure out who you are. Yeah. And really still getting to know Taylor. Oh my God. That's what it was. Yeah. Don't. I don't, I don't want to go back there. I'm like, I don't want to go back to that time in my life. That was crazy. Oh my God. So I mean, I knew that was like, going to be like one of the things we talk about is like being the NFL website and reflecting on it. And I'm like, what does it mean to be an NFL wife? It's a hard place to complain because how could you? I mean, in all those aspects that you're given and the things you should be thankful for, but it's hard, you know, there's a lot of sacrifice that comes with it and your time is not now. Like your times is when they retire. Like you, you live in a shadow for as long as they're in this and knowing Taylor, he'll probably go into movies or something. So I'll be like, I'll be in the shadow for the rest of my life. But like, it really is. It's not like when I see like Ryan Casey, I don't know if you've followed with her. That's Jarell Casey. So he used to play on the team and he retired. And I just messaged her cause she's like come out with her own wine and she's just like won her first court case. And it's like, you just see her time is shining. You know what I mean? And I'm like, well, that's a great example of like an NFL wife's life. Like you grind through it and you get through it cause it's worth it. It's so worth it. You don't want to complain because especially when they're done, it's like, it's your turn. It's your season. You know what I mean? You get to kind of do whatever you want in life. Do you feel like the pressure as far as trying to live up to what people think you should be like? 100%. Cause that I'm not going to lie. That happens to me. Well, I'm really careful as to what part of me I think I put out there because it's like, I'm okay with being judged on this part, but like I don't want to be 100% vulnerability myself or put too many of like who I am out there for the judgment or if I, you know, maybe if I see it in the wrong way and it hits someone in the wrong way. And then I'm like, oh, that represents Taylor. And it's like every time I go up with him, I'm like more conscious of what I look like. I noticed that where I'm like, oh, like, is this good enough? And he's like, I don't care. He's like, what do you mean? But to me, I'm like, well, like I'm Taylor LeWon's wife. Like that has to be like, that's somebody. You know what I mean? And I think the way that I've channeled it is I really try to give back as much as I can because then I feel worthy of being where I'm at. You know what I mean? Like that's almost like, I think everyone has a different way of coping with it. And it's almost like we've been given so much like as a wife, like I get to stay home with my children and like live this beautiful life. How am I going to cope with almost this anxiousness of like the pressure? And I'm like, well, I'll just, I'll keep giving back. I'll keep trying to take care of the community that took care of us. We wouldn't be here without the city of Nashville. And so like I really take that seriously. And so I'm like, how can I help the city of Nashville? Because I'm not going to just turn my back on now that we've made it somewhere in our own individual lives. Like, you know what I mean? Like I don't want to forget about how we got here. And I think that's like kind of my way of saying thank you and it releases some of that pressure from myself. Maybe I always think about that. And I think the closer I get to 30, the more the pressure goes away. It does. I'll tell you whenever, so I was 22 whenever I married John. Oh, wow. And that's the year that he started his career with the NFL. And I felt that pressure. And it wasn't until probably about 10 years later, I think I was actually 29 when we moved to Boston. He was always with the Patriots, but until he got like, he was the director of college scouting. We had to move up there. And I remember being around the players' wives and getting very nervous, thinking that I had to look a certain way or I had to act a certain way. And it wasn't until, and honestly, even when we got this job, it was the same thing. Because now I'm like, oh no. It finally got to the point of, oh my gosh, I'm really 44 years old. Yeah. Just be myself. I don't want to just be myself. And what number is that? You know, from what that glass of wine, who cares if you put a pound or two on me? I don't care. I want to be happy. I think the more comfortable you get in stuff like that, you're also like, oh, people are so worried about themselves that they're not even paying attention to me the way I think they're paying attention to me. You know what I mean? Like it's like, they're all in their own head. But in my, for some reason, I made up this whole story that like, oh, they're thinking this of me and this of me and that of me. And half the time, they're worried about their own stuff and I'm just a blip on the radar. You know what I mean? And that kind of helped free that up for myself as well. But yeah, well, I remember coming into the NFL Wives. I was like, uh-oh. I was like, that was the most nerve-wracking thing I think about becoming an NFL wife. Because I remember when I first came in, there was like, I don't know if you felt this, but when I first came in, there was like this hierarchy. And I was like, oh, I don't want to play this game. Yeah, because of you. So I was by myself a lot. Like I remember there were some years where like, I'd be by myself and I'd turn around, there'd just be a whole row of wives. And I was just like, ah, no, don't I? So I would just sit there and then eventually as the years went on, then I got the invite and I'm like, well, I don't want the invite. It's not something I want to earn, you know what I mean? Like it's like, I want to meet true friendships or whatever it could be. And so like I stayed strong and then it was lonely. And like I'm sure that some girls maybe thought I was being like, right. I don't want to sit with you. But it was protection for myself more than anything. You know what I mean? And now it's like, I have some good girlfriends on the team and I'm super kind and more cordial. I know more of them now, actually, to be honest with you, but it's changed over time. When I first got into it, it was like, oh, I thought high school was over. Like, let me tell you, it doesn't even stop in their 40s. It doesn't stop. It's hard. Yeah, it's hard. It's five and she's already dealing with me and girls. Yeah, crazy. Yeah, she's like, I love myself. This girl said that I was wearing, wasn't nice. I'm like, what? I don't know. Yeah. Where does she live? Yeah, it's her mom's name. Did you figure that out yet? Yeah. So what have you done to like support yourself and do you have daily practices or hobbies or you obviously ride, but like... My animal's more than mine. Yeah. Yeah, it does give me, keeps my feet on the ground. You know what I mean? When you're taking care of things and stuff like that all day, it kind of keeps your feet on the ground. But I was a yoga instructor before this. It's kind of what I did when I got out of school because I thought I was going to go into a trade more than spend all the money on doing something I didn't know what I wanted to do one day. Honestly, this is probably my first year. I've been telling everybody this was my yes year because I felt like every time the season would hit, I found myself just waiting for Taylor to get home to make sure like, hey, are you injured? Do you want me to run you a bath? Like I was just so doting and ready for him that I kind of lost my life. You know what I mean? And I felt like there was no reason for it because he would say he's like, oh, he's like, what am I? What are you waiting for? Like go do your own thing. And for some reason that wasn't something that clicked in me until like this past year. And I'm like, I'm going to start saying yes more. And it's like, because eventually I'm like, man, I'm just getting miserable and I don't want to resent him one day because he never asked for that. But like, I just feel like, and you could probably relate with it. I do it all the time. You do it, yeah. I do it all the time. Yeah, yeah. It's just something. It's a hundred percent right. Like it's like, you just every minute you can get with him, you want to get. But then I'm getting, I'm getting wore out. You know what I mean? Cause I just feel like I'm like, I'm just waiting. And then like things like little things like we said before when he's like, oh, I'm going to go to bed at seven. I'm like, you're going to go to bed at seven. Go to bed at eight. And then you can spend an hour with me. But you know what I mean? It's like, he just wants to get everything he can to this career because it's not forever. And he's closer to the end of the career more than the beginning of his career. You know what I mean? So he just came back from his injury. And if you think that boy ain't going to be serious now, like, oh, man. So it's like he's given everything he's got because in his mind, especially cause he had unfortunate events after he got his second deal. And now he's like, no, I'm earning this thing. And a lot of it, all of it was out of his control. So now he's like, so wants to make sure that he proves himself now. You know what I mean? Just because he couldn't before, he's like, no, I'm here. And even last year, coming back from an injury, I never knew what it took to come back from an injury. And that was one of the most mentally, spiritually, and physically exhausting rollercoaster I've ever been on in my life. Let's talk about when he got that concussion. Where were you and were you from? I mean, I know I was freaking out. I was like that when he was out for three minutes. Yes. Yeah. I was in our suite. And you know, Will, he does his podcast with Will. So Will was with us. And me and Will were standing at the edge. And I was looking around. I'm like, oh, it looks like somebody's injured. And I always scan the field because only him and AJ Brown had red cleats on the offense. So I'd always scan the cleats. And that's how I'd find Taylor, because it's easy to tell the difference between them, one big human and one lesser of a big human. So I would always look around. I'm like, OK, there's AJ. And then I see this group of people. I just see two red cleats sticking out. And they weren't just sticking out. They were like limp. They were like this. And so I was like, OK, what's happening? And so I'm looking at Will. I'm like, what do you think is happening to him? Do you think like, is he knocked out? He looks like he's knocked out because his feet are limp. And Will's looking at me at first. And he goes, yeah, he's probably knocked out. Probably wake up, blah, blah. And then one minute goes by. And I'm like, OK, he's not moving. He's not flinched a foot. He's not. Nothing's happened. No one's letting anybody see anything. I'm like, Will, what's going on? And now Will won't look at me. And he's like, they won't let him move because if it's a spinal injury or something like that, he's not allowed moving. I'm like, OK. Another minute goes by. And I'm like, OK, Will, if he's passed out and it's been three minutes, I'm googling when does brain damage happen? Like, is he dead? Is he paralyzed? Is he? And then minute three came by. And I am shaking. I'm trying so hard because I'm with all these people. Were you with the girls? No. Oh, thank goodness. Oh, that's good. No, it was a late game. Remember, so they were sleeping. Yeah, it was a night game. So they were at home sleeping. And he got pulled off the stretcher. And I could not look up. I was just like, I'm thinking like, none of this was worth it. Like, I was just like, we're fools. Well, how did we do this? Like, I'm just thinking like, now my poor girl is like, I could cry thinking about it. And then he put his thumbs up. And then I'm like, OK, so he's coherent, but is he paralyzed? Because that's still not, he's strapped. Like, he can't move. He just did this. And now I turn around once I saw the thumbs up, water works. I mean, you see me. I'm not a very emotional person. I don't really wear my emotions. I'm pretty content in life. And so all these people are like, oh, yeah. Like, how do we, some people don't want to look at me. Some people are surrounding me. And then Derek Henry and Kevin Byer's wife came in. Maybe more, I don't know. I think Quentin Spain's girlfriend happened to be in town, OK, you know, OK. She, I think she happened to be in town. There could have been more there. So if I forget, I'm sorry. But they come around and they were, I'm in this prayer circle and I'm just crying. Just like, and I just want to be like, I'm so thankful for you guys. But if I don't get to him in the next two seconds, you're going to see a different side of me. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, I'm about to climb over this edge. I'm climbing. I want to climb over seats and get to the field. Like, I'm about to be hauling a variable. Like, you get my down on the field right now. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, if I was, I'm thankful I was in this week because if I wasn't in this week, you would have been out there. I would have been security escorted out of that stadium because I was getting on that field. Like, I'm like, I don't care about any of this anymore. Like, I'm getting to my husband. Yeah. And when it's so traumatic in these times, you don't remember every detail. Absolutely not. So I'm coming down. I'm staring at the ground. I don't want to see fans. I don't want to see anything. I'm just staring at the ground because I've got the 77 jersey on. I just don't want to see anything. So I'm just going down and I get down there and I walk in and he looks at me and he just starts bawling his face off, apologizing. Apologizing? Yeah, because he said the first thing he thought of when he woke up was my poor wife. That makes me want to cry when I said, I'm starting to cry. You cry every episode. So, oh my gosh, David. Yeah, he said, he's super apologetic. And I said that. Thank you so much, but you're done. Yeah, we're done with this. I'm like, you're never stepping on that field again. I looked at variables like, thank you so much. But we're done. I'm like, we're done. This is it. It's over. I love you to great career. But you know, let's go home now. Like, this is like, you're getting in my car and we're leaving. I can't even like, that's what I can say. And I remember Mitch the faster was like, this is probably not the time. I looked at Mitch and I said, this is exactly the time. I was like, I was not to be. You're like, this is my life. Yeah, I'm like, no. I am on this one. So he was like, I'm OK. I promise. Like it's like in the doctor and everybody's talking to me. So we went and got a CT scan and everything came back surprisingly, like perfect. Like, but you know, you never know until. Right, so scary. It's so scary. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. So yeah, that was, that's another tough part of being an FL life is, you know, there's nothing, there's nothing worse than that few seconds where you're like, oh, we're going to be that 1% of the 1% and this is going to, our lives are forever changed. I bet after that now. I mean, I'm sure before that you were always nervous during the game. I bet it's a whole new level. I can't look at him. Like before I only used to watch him play. Like, I didn't know where the ball was. I didn't, I was just making sure he hit everyone. So after we could talk about which play and I was like, could you do that? And like, oh yeah, he kind of missed a step here. And what was that all about? Like we talk about, now I'm like, I don't know what you did. I'm not looking at you. Like, I cannot look at him. I have to stare at the ball. At every snap I ask myself, is Tana Hill going to throw it or run it? And that's how I distract myself from looking at him. Like I just have to, I try to guess if he's going to throw it or run it. And then that's it. And I'll follow the ball. Like I can't look at him. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's too much for me. So scary. I had to tell you my most favorite Taylor story. They had a fight on the field and I was like, percing my mind, where's Taylor? Yeah. Oh, I know. Where's Taylor? And then I look and Taylor's all the way on the other side of the field sitting on the, sitting on the field. Yeah. So that way he doesn't get up. He doesn't get up. So Taylor had a year where he had so many penalties. Oh no. For Halloween he dressed up like a yellow flag. Like he had that many penalties. And so we're at home like you get one more penalty and like I'm gonna kill you. Like just like stay out of it. You don't need to be involved in everything. And so when he did that, I'm like, use some more. He like sat on his pants like a little. He was sat there like this and he was like, this is so fun. There's a picture of it online. I see. That's hilarious. That was hilarious. Oh, that's amazing. Let's talk about feeding Nashville. Okay, yeah. And tell the audience what it is and how you and I was Haley Hubbard. Yeah. Had started it. Let's talk about that. So there's this like group chat of women and it's like wise or artists of just people around Nashville that just have a really empathetic heart to help. And we always get in there and whether it's like their neighbor needs help or like we have some idea we want to start or someone's throwing an event of some sort. We all put in this group chat. And so Nashville got hit with a tornado and then like a month later got hit with COVID and this community just got destroyed. Right. And so I went in the group chat and said, Hey, I have an idea. And I was like, we have all these because in this such a, you know, culinary experience in Nashville there's so many restaurants here. So I'm like, we've got a lot of restaurants of chefs and employees being for load. And a lot of people are going hungry because they had promising jobs and now they're gone without, you know being able to predict that. So I said, what if we raise money to pay chefs to create food to give to whoever wanted it? Like nothing to prove. I don't want to see no stamp or income or just anybody who felt hungry can come get it. And then Haley side texted me and she goes, I'm in. Let's do it. Like how can we do this? And then she took off. She found someone in San Francisco who's kind of doing the same thing. We went back and forth with them and they're a dream. They helped us like kind of figure out how they went about it. And then we kind of took some of that template and like made minor changes to make it work here. And then we took Ryan from place map and he started running the kitchen because he does this like in house catering. So like he brings a restaurant to you. So like if you want to have a dinner guest like he'll come and cook you a beautiful meal and clean it and go. And so he helped me find all these chefs and kind of run this kitchen out of citizens kitchen. And then I think like as of like six months ago I think we were at like 76,000 people we've fed. That's amazing. Yeah. So like it just kind of went on from there. And now Ryan really heads the thing. Haley and I kind of passed the reigns and we still helped raise the donations. But like he's true. I mean he's a heartbeat of the thing. It should have been his name on it from the beginning. But yeah. So he runs it pretty much full time and he's kind of taking it under place mats wing as their charity. That's amazing. Yeah. They're taking off. See it's really hard to be an NFL life. But it's things like this whenever you have a passion and whenever you take your platform and use it for good. Yeah. You know. I mean with your animals with helping the homeless. And it's just it's amazing and kudos to you. Oh thank you. It gives me self purpose. It separates me from like you know all football world and all that. So it gives me just makes me feel like I'm doing something. Yeah. There's something other than Taylor's wife. Even with doing like podcasts and stuff I think even if you would have asked me to come on here a year or two years ago I would have said no. Because it's something so nerve wracking for me to come out and be on a platform when you're kind of like learning about yourself. You know what I mean. Like I feel like you're especially in your 20s like you're just you're trying to figure yourself out. You know what I mean. And it's like to put yourself out there in the midst of this like phase of your life of trying to educate and learn yourself. And then you know if you take scrutiny on some level of that it's like you're so vulnerable in that phase that like if you're not sure about yourself it's easy to get knocked on your butt. And I think that going through that with Taylor and stuff like that I was like oh I got to figure out where my shoes are. You know what I mean. And like because then I can be more sure of myself and then like come out on something like this and like be able to experience this and kind of you know have my feet in the ground. Well I also think with having little kids I mean I have an 18 month old and a seven year old you're like it's hard to even know like right from left like you're just changing diapers and feeding people and you're like why do you have to eat so much and like you have 400 snacks a day and like I can't and so it's like it's hard to even focus on yourself. Like it's impossible and with you being a stay at home mom like I can only imagine so. Yeah you know being here with no family or anything I was pretty much knee deep in kids 24 seven. Yeah. But then we recently got when I had my second we got a full-time nanny. That's nice. I love her so much. You have to. You have to have people that can. Yeah. Oh my gosh even just being able to be home and having an extra set of hands. You know what I mean. And it takes a pressure off of when Taylor comes home and I'm like here. Yes. You know what I mean. Like take home. Let me breathe. Because then he goes from his physical exertion all day long and it just frees us up to be able to even like sometimes he comes home and like I'll have the nanny come for when he's home and we just go disappear and like I mean we'll do stupid things like play video games or just like you know just yeah be just with each other. Reconnect. Yeah. And it's just like it's just so important and I think for a while I felt so guilty because I'm like I'm a stay at home mom I should just be doing this all by myself. And then I'm like who can do this by themselves. Single moms that's going to be my next thing is I really want to focus on single moms and foster moms because I just have the utmost respect for how they do it because there's no way you don't lose yourself in it. Yeah. You know what I mean. Like it's like and I just want to extend a hand because I think in our society we have really isolated moms to think that like you have to do it all by yourself. And then if you go into other cultures it's a community thing. Yeah. And everyone's raising these kids. It's never just mom. In some communities after the mom has baby they're only allowed feeding them and that's it. And everyone takes care of them, gives her mud baths, wraps her in things for all this healing and like oh my gosh. I know. I'm in the wrong place. I feel like we've really lost the sense of community in our society. I was talking about that like we used to know who our police officers were, our teachers were, all of the above and now I don't know anybody. I don't even know my neighbors. And you know being in this lifestyle I feel like you sometimes put walls up because you're like why do you want to be my friend? Why are you talking to me? You know what I mean? So I'm trying to find this like line of like how do you bring me back? And it's hard to ask for help as it is for females. You know it's like we want to do it all and I think there was that culture for so long like if you're not perfect like you're failing or something and now I think the walls are falling down where we're like I need help. Like I'm drowning. I guess what we were never perfect. Yeah like I'm never gonna be perfect and get over here and drink glass of wine with me before. I lose my mind. I think a lot of people think that if you say like hey I'm not doing okay. It's like oh I'm failing. But it's like no I'm just not doing okay. I mean it's like I don't think I think everybody has those moments. Have you found a good group of moms here that you can kind of have that? Probably like you know they always say like the first group of friends you have in a new town will never be the friends you end up with. Which I like I still am like close with them but I like really reconnecting the last year with this really awesome group of moms. And so like we've really enjoyed it. My girls are getting, my girlfriend especially is getting true friendships now. Like she's got this one friend that I swear she would take a bullet for. Like I have, it is so, it's I'm almost like it's like, like she's addicted to her. Like I need to see her 24 seven. Like I'm just like what? Yeah. And like she at school, she was supposed to draw like the woman who inspires her and she drew her. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Okay. Okay. Okay. So funny. I guess I won't be offended. That's hilarious. She wrote, oh, who is this? She goes Olivia and I was like, oh, that's so sweet. That's awesome. So funny. Yeah. You end up like having to have those friends do when your child is addicted to someone. You're like, okay, I guess we're hanging out all the time. Exactly. Like her mom and I are friends. It's Haley's daughter. Oh, nice. Yeah. Luckily we get to hang out and they get to hang out. So it worked out in my way. That's so good. Sony, because when we lived in Boston, that was cause I'm from New Orleans. So I was really far away from home and I didn't have like family or whatever and my girls were really young. And I still to this day, that group of women are still my best friends. There was five or six of us and we all came together because of our girls. And you just need that. You need to depend on them. It's so important. Luckily all of my houses on my street are like this far apart, like 10 feet. Whatever the legal code is. And it's all kids and all moms that are amazing. And so it's just like, hey, your kid's in my house now. Like let me know when you want them home or whatever, can she mac and cheese? Like we've got extra, so it's fun. When I was back home this summer, I've had one of my best friends since we were like 14. She's got a daughter and I've got two and she's pregnant with her second. But it was fun because like we got to do the things that are boring together. If we had to go grocery shopping, we'd all go grocery shopping. If our kids were driving us nuts, we'd just all throw them into one pit together. You know what I mean? Even though our kids are driving us crazy and they're running up and down the aisles because they're feeding off each other like little animals, we're just laughing. And we're just with each other and it's like, gosh, this is so much more fun now that I have someone to do it with. You know what I mean? It's like, I think people forget how important friendships like that are. And everyone always focuses on like their relationship with their spouse. But it's like, it's so enriching for your soul to have that friend that like, even if it's one that like just shows up at your house or like if you're in a bind, we'll come pick up your kids for you. Or like, you know what I mean? Like it's like that I feel like I missed out the most in the years that I was here and I was so dedicated to being a wife and a mom. And I was like, something's missing. Like I'm not, I don't feel fulfilled. And then also when I went and hung out with her, I'm like, oh my God, that's what's missing. That's amazing. I know that's one of the hardest things about not living in my hometown. He never wanna complain, you know what I mean? But like it's true, like you miss out on a lot. Like it's like even not being in your hometown, especially if you like being in your hometown, you have like good roots there. You miss out on so much. Like it's like, I went back there and I'm looking around and I'm like, wow, everyone's gotten older. Like, you know what I mean? Like you and my grandparent, no one froze while I was gone. Like that was the deal. You know what I mean? Like I feel like you guys just wait and I'll come back and then you guys can live. But like, it's like they just lived all this life without you and it's like, so there are these little sacrifices you have to make, but I think to hear you that it goes on to like your whole life. I'm like, oh my God, I gotta get back home. Oh my God. Seriously, I do. I still, I think about it. Y'all, the most incredible thing happened yesterday. I was at one of the hotels here and my girlfriends and I walked up to the rooftop and all of a sudden I see this person from afar looking at me and I'm looking, I kept looking at him and I'm like, how do I know that person? And I'm thinking, of course I'm thinking Titan stuff and you know, I met him through John or whatever. And next thing I know, he's standing right next to me and he goes, Jamie? And I was like, yeah. Y'all, it was a friend of mine from back home. I actually was friends with his brother. I actually dated his brother. But, and him and his wife were here working for the Grand Prix like doing something with that. Oh cool. It was the craziest thing. So they got to meet all my friends and it was, it was just, I mean, that was the best thing of my night. And I'm like, I never see anybody from back home. It just warmed my heart. That's awesome. That's so special. Yeah, I loved it. I grew up here so I get that experience like once a week. Like I'm like, oh, hey, you're a Costco member too. House life. Do you have friends from like high school still today? I do, yeah, yeah. It is, it's fun. I mean, it's like, it can be overwhelming because you're kind of expected to keep up with so many relationships and like I want to, you know. And then you have your new friends and then your kid's school moms that you, it's like, you're kind of expected to be close with a lot of groups. And so it's kind of hard to manage, but it's also awesome. I think that is hard. Yeah. Well, you're so amazing. We've like loved talking to you and happy. What is this, Taylor's, how many seasons is he in now at the Titans? Jamie, you know how nine? This is our seventh and he was here before. Yeah, I think 2014. Oh, wow. Okay, yeah. Ninth season, that's crazy. He, I have to say, one of my favorite stories about John, I have a bunch. Yes, tell us. And Taylor loves John, just so I know. Taylor loves John. Like I think Taylor sometimes wished that John was on his boss so he could hang out with John more. Like I really do believe that. I really, he tells me about him all the time and he always describes and he's like, hey, he's got a chewing, he's sitting back in his chair like this. Like he always makes sure he gets into every detail and he's talking about John. It's so funny. But when we were going through all this stuff with Taylor and I'm thinking like, oh, the team's gonna turn. Like they're not gonna believe them, blah, blah and all this stuff. And John made his way out to me. Like, it's not like John and I talk. So John came up to me and he goes, hey, how are you? Like how are you doing? And I'm like, I don't know how to feel. Like I wanna just take this all away from Taylor. He goes, just so you know, like we know you. Like we know when we trust you. He goes, and I'm so sorry this is happening to you. And he's like, just so you know, like we stand behind you. And I was like, how many? That's amazing. Teams would go out of their way. Like how many GMs would go out of their way to make sure I knew that like, you know, my husband was stood behind? Yeah. You know, and I think that's why Taylor literally wants to run through a brick wall for him. He really does. But I just remember like that always stuck with me. And I just was like, I've always, anytime people ask about the Titans and the associations, stuff like that's always a story I told. Because I just felt like it just was such a big moment. He is so passionate for the players and for the team and for the grass. I mean, it's just anything to do with the Titans. He's extremely passionate. Oh, it's super easy to see. Well, I laugh at them because the other day we were at practice and my John was talking and all of a sudden here comes Taylor. It's like the big old guy smacks John. He messes with John so much. I mean, variable two though, I feel like they're just all cut from the same cloth. Those three, they really are like in them all in a room. Like variable and Taylor just remind me so much of each other. It's not even funny. Like I feel like they're just like generations apart but they're like the same person. And then John comes in and you can tell John has to be a little bit more serious but like you can tell that like he eats it up. You know what I mean? Like he lets a little smirk out and then it's over. Taylor, if Taylor sees one little smirk it's game over. Now everything's okay. I love it. I love it. I think he's so much for doing this. Of course. Yeah, I have so much fun.