 It is great to be here on the campus of Franciscan University with all of you and I've been it's been a great spring When they asked me to be a part of the team again I always say yes, but then I looked at the roster and we have Deacon Bob Rice and we have Deacon Harold and me You know we have Deacon Ralph and and I'm like what am I gonna do? so I prayed and in December I Asked the director of our deacon information program here in the diocese of student bill if they were gonna be starting a new class He said yes next month in January. We're starting and I was like, so it's probably too late to apply Yeah, yeah, we've already gone and accepted all the guys into the program that we're going to him and I'm like, okay When are you gonna start the next class? And they saw me and in two years you can you can again apply to be a Deacon I'm like great. I love it I'll be I guess I'll talk to you in two years and then as I was walking away Deacon Mark said to me is like, well, how old will you be in two years? Like what kind of question is that? None of your business But I mean I'm like, I'll be turning 60 and he said oh well We have you have to be under the age of 60 to be able to apply to be a Deacon And I was like well God I was open. I don't know your timing your will whatever God Two days later. He called me back. He said John. I went and talked with the Bishop pleaded your case We're gonna allow you to apply and In January my wife and I started our formation together for the Permanent Deacon So I'm gonna join the Deacons Club God willing and I'll tell you something even if I don't get ordained Just to be able to go through this formation with my wife has already started to just bless us And I'm excited to see what the Lord will do there. He has a lot to do We we want him to do more in our lives And so, you know, just just pray for me Pray for me that the Lord's will is done. That's all I want and that that his grace continues to lead me down Wherever whatever that path might be I've learned in a lot of ways just to surrender and let God have his way and I'm as I was preparing for this talk and I started thinking about spring of 1999 in Spring of 1999 I was sitting in a park bench outside of a hotel in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. I had spent The previous weeks leading up to that traveling all over the state of Colorado where I was living at the time Tech took a few road trips interviewing for a youth ministry position I'd gotten out of youth ministry, but really it felt the strong call to get back into ministry after the church I was working at St. Oh are not working at but volunteering at some of the kids there were killed in the Columbine tragedy and I really felt like I got I've got to be doing this and and so My wife and I we visited this parish in Ohio up in Lima and we thought oh this is they had everything we want because I've done youth Ministry for seven years and knew exactly what I was looking for I had my list The church had to have a youth room had to have two priests and including a younger priest who was really interested in helping with youth ministry It had to have a very vibrant young adult community They had to be open to being a life-teen parish I mean I had the list and it went down because I was it was more about me interviewing the parish to make sure they were worthy of me And so we were traveling we'd been up in Michigan We stopped by this parish and we're getting ready to go home and I got a phone call because my wife She was so wonderful. She sent up my resume through job boards and all that and this parish in Winston-Salem, North Carolina Followed my resume called me up and they're like well, you would be great We want you to come here and would you please come here and interview and at that point? I think we were like almost 85 to 90 percent sure that that Ohio was gonna be our choice and Everything in my flesh didn't really want to do this But I felt like God was you know either God was doing it or I think maybe more at that point I just didn't know how to say no, so I said okay. I'll come in I'll come in and interview So I went there I went through two full days of interview I Interviewed with a pastor the associate pastor the parish council this group of parents the church's staff a group of teenagers. I Had like eight different interviews. They took me on a tour of the city and it was this whirlwind So I was sitting on this bench because I was tired and been really two full days And it was very beautiful. They were very wonderful and they had this great vision for youth ministry. However The pastor was going to retire in four months. He wasn't interested in starting anything new including life team The associate pastor at the time wasn't too keen on youth ministry in general They had a school I was one of the things I didn't want to go to a church with the school because Schools the problem there is takes a lot of resources and then the parents who said their kids at Catholic school Don't feel like they have to send their kids to youth ministry and you're stuck You know, I was like really hard to get the kids involved And all these things that were on my list they had none of it. In fact, they showed me what would be my office And it was a converted storage room that was that opened up to the outside and the door was under a fire escape on the back of this building and It smelled like chemicals Which is good I suppose if I wanted to just sit around getting high all day But I wanted to do ministry and this was not where I was gonna go And so as I was talking with my wife on my cell phone, I was just like yeah, they're very wonderful beautiful people But this is not the place And I said I love you I'm flying home tomorrow. I'll see you soon and I hung up the phone and you know God has an amazing way Of working in very profound and beautiful ways in the simplest of moments and as I sat there I simply got the sense like this is a big decision. God. I don't want to mess this up So I bowed my head and I said Lord not my will but you're a show me Lord make sure that I'm making the right choice for my family and as Clear as anything I've ever heard in my life. I Heard it in my ears. I heard it in my head. I heard it in my heart. I heard it in the depths of my soul. I Heard God say I'm calling you here I mean I can count the number of times this has happened in my life on three fingers And this was like one of the big ones. I was like shocked I didn't even know what to say when I took a deep breath And paused I said the only thing I could come to say to God. I'm like, well God if this is really you you need to say it again And just as clear as the first time I heard John I'm calling you here And all of a sudden like The whole not the room because I was outside but the whole neighborhood started to spin And I felt like I had this wave of fear anxiety excitement. Oh my gosh But after that kind of wave hit I just felt this profound sense of God's love like God just called me by name He called me by name. But what was he calling me to do? I had to process this so I did the only thing I could do is I called my wife back Honey You know when I said that this wasn't going to work out that we're you know, like this really wasn't a good place for us, you know What if I told you that God just said we're supposed to be here And and really my wife is the true hero of the story because I heard the voice of God I know for thought of doubt God called me. She put her full faith in me And said okay Two weeks later Everything we owned In the 27 foot moving truck our three babies In car seats in the minivan that she was driving while I was driving everything else behind her heading from colorado To a place she had never even been before It was the at that point the biggest step of faith we had taken in our lives And I tell you this because in this story You are all involved in some way most of you maybe even all of you And here's how When I landed in North Carolina, I was picked up By a man named jack McAleer Jack had three children his two older daughters One was going to be a freshman freshman in high school that fall The other was going to it was in junior high and I was going to be their youth minister So he was personally invested in making sure I had what I needed And he was personally invested in making sure that my wife and had and I had everything we needed to succeed in ministry He took us under his wing and showed us a lot of extra love and and care and along the way we became very good friends He helped us come to Steubenville with the youth group and while he was here. He had a powerful encounter with the lord That changed the trajectory of his life I mean he became so invested in the youth ministry program He and another group of adult guys started doing all the games for us on our retreats. They were great And as jack and I grew into her friendship You know, he ended up being The godfather he and his wife jamie godparents to my son john paul who was born while we were living in north carolina And when four years later, I got a call from father dave At the time father dave was directing all the youth conferences and he was getting moved into a vice presidency position with the University and asked me if I'd be interested in applying for his job And of course the opportunity to come back to my alma mater and serve. I love franciskin university I couldn't say no So I applied for the job And in 2003 I began working for franciskin university at the very time. I said yes to this job Jack's daughter laura lauren was trying to decide where she was going to go to college It was down to two choices auburn or franciskin and when I chose to come here to work She chose to come and be a freshman here that fall and so in the fall of 2003 Jack came to campus with his daughter I should say something about jack just because His family owns crispy cream donuts and he And he came to me with this. I want to make a donation to the university. Who should I talk to? And I didn't know who they he should talk to so I just said I'll introduce you to father dave Now father dave in his own way because he's so awesome became very good friends with jack and jamie And when lauren was here she fell in love with a great guy named dan who was a com arts major And upon graduation he and jack Developed this media company called four p.m. Media And one of the very first projects they worked on and produced was the wild goose series Which is so true of my life most in the major ways that god has intervened in my life and spoken to me and dealt with me personally It's never been about me never But I can look back and say I didn't start in the wild goose. I didn't appear in the wild goose. I didn't write the wild goose But god used my life to bring together two awesome people Who produced something that have literally changed the course of thousands and thousands of people's lives and helped them experience more of the holy spirit And I can just sit back and say god Why do you work this way? What is it that is about you that you choose to work this way? I'm not trying to pat myself on the back. In fact, I look at myself in the same lens that the blessed mother saw This is what she said when when looking at you know all the things that she was being called to do as she Was giving back The praise That elizabeth was giving her who am I that the mother of my lord should come to me? She says look my soul magnifies the lord and my spirit rejoices in god my savior For he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant Surely from now on all generations will call me blessed for the mighty one has done great things for me and holy is his name Now look, I know that When I die I probably won't have any statues any devotions No one's going to coin a metal and wear it around there with my picture on it with reverence And that's fine with me I'm not looking for that But I do know that I can stand up here tonight and say to you because of my yielding Because of god's intervention because god has done great things for me And he came to me on that night and spoke into my heart that great things have happened I could speak for the next 10 hours on the great things that have happened to me personally But that's not what I'm here to do. I'm here to say any one of us Can experience this God wants to come to each one of you and do something great in your life That's what he's dying to do. He made you for for greatness Why wouldn't he you're created in his image and likeness Your soul was purchased and set free from the gates of hell from the power of sin and death By the blood of his only begotten son Jesus christ And he has poured his love His very essence into you through the power of the holy spirit and asked you to join his family as an adopted son or daughter Amen We should all want to say lord. I want to magnify you. I want to glorify you I want to give you everything for you've done great things for me If somebody calls me blessed, it's only because god you've done it It's not about me. It's about me receiving You know st. Faustina had this beautiful relationship of our lord Jesus christ Such a beautiful intimate relationship with her and with him and and and this is what jesus said to hurry He said the graces of my mercy are drawn by means of one vessel only and that is trust the more a soul trusts The more it will receive Trust is first and foremost a choice for us to receive The unconditional love of god for us his mercy And be willing to let that love penetrate the deepest part of us and transform us And embolden us and empower us to say yes to incarnate that love in every part of our lives It's a decisive choice, but it's also a response to grace The catechism speaks of our need for trust and surrender through the holy spirit We are adopted as god's children, but that gift demands demands a response It says in article 27 84. It says the free gift of adoption requires It's not optional It's required on our part continual conversion in new life. It requires two fundamental dispositions I love this it requires two fundamental dispositions So this should be the posture of our soul before god first the desire to be like him Jesus you're my everything including Who I want to be The whole purpose of us coming forward to receive the Eucharist is that in the end we would become What we consume And be consumed by the love that's there It says though created in his image We are restored to his likeness by grace and we must respond to this grace We must respond to the grace of christ It goes on to say in the next article 27 85 It says second a humble and trusting heart that enables us to turn and become like children For it is to little children That the father is revealed So we come before the lord Not in our greatness, but in our smallness smallness not in our richness, but in our poverty And mary said it best He has looked upon the lowliness of his servant. That's why every generation calls her blessed She's the handmade of the lord. She never wanted the glory She wanted to be the handmade And she knew everything that she was Was just a reflection of the great things that god had first done in her And she is our template. She is our guide. She is the role model St. Faustino went on to write a humble soul does not trust itself But places all its confidence in god We are called to empty ourselves of all our self love all of our self righteousness all of our self longing all this Clinging and empty ourselves before god Pope Benedict the 16th. I love this what he says. He says it's only in accepting god's love that we come to know who we truly are This is what he says. He says man comes in the most profound sense to himself not through what he does But through what he accepts And one cannot become holy In any other way than by being loved by letting oneself be loved We will not become who god Made us to be Until we just surrender to the fact that we are unconditionally Unlimitedly loved by god And have the trust to sit in the father's hands and let him hold us close to his heart This afternoon. I had this image As we were praying in christ the king uh during the life in the spirit seminar of of Jesus just coming to each person And placing his hands on his shoulder While they're praying like this just leaning forward and touching his forehead to to their forehead and just breathing life into their heart Breathing life into them The breath of god the rua of god The spirit of god. He was breathing it into the people there And in that souls and hearts were coming alive St. Catherine of sienna say the devil fears a heart that's on fire with the love of god And this is why satan will do whatever he can to keep us from just fully surrendering to this This to every part of us Like this thing of trust is so vital you know Father dave talked about st. Peter stepping out on the boat That was a step of faith a step of trust And and what i love about the story is there was no downside st. Peter walked on water He was walking towards the lord and it wasn't until he took his eyes off Jesus and started looking at his circumstances again That he began to sink. But where did he end up? Jesus immediately Holds him up looks him in the eyes says why did you doubt? Come on. Let's get back in the boat. So now they're walking together I mean he walked on water and the other 11 just i'm sure they were just picking their jaws up off the deck of the boat Going Why didn't we get out there? That could have been me Why didn't I take a step of faith? They weren't thinking oh, look at peter. He tried and he fairly like He walked on the water with jesus Because when jesus is teaching us as long as we're in his arms as long as he's by our side We can do it Anything including walking on water because god doesn't want us to walk alone. You've never walked alone. You never will walk alone And if you let jesus love you with his unconditional love, you will walk on water with him He will do amazing things in you and through you But we have to ask god i think To take us to a place even if it requires us to cry out to god tonight as we pray heal me because my trust has been broken We have a culture of misplaced trust broken promises damaged lives We all need to return to the singular reality That the love of jesus is the only unshakable unchangeable Unmutable everlasting thing in this world and it's the only thing worthy of our trust amen in fact When you go back to the very beginning What was the first thing that died in the garden of eden? The catechism says in article 390 said it says man tempted by devil By the devil let his trust in his creator Die abusing his freedom. He disobeyed god's command. This is what man's first consisted of First sin consisted of all subsequent sin would be disobedience towards god and a lack of trust in his goodness Every sin that we have ever committed can be traced back Towards a lack of trust in god's goodness And us thinking that we know better for ourselves what will make us happy I think of all the years I've wasted my life pursuing happiness on my own terms all the times I go in and out in and out But what has gotten me over humps and into greater freedom is the power of the holy spirit He's the only one that can do it article 154 in the catechism says believing in god Having faith in god is impossible without the holy spirit He's not the the the luxury item in the luxury car. He's the engine. He's the fuel He's the fundamental driving factor that animates us in our life in christ that keeps us moving forward with jesus And we can't do it It's a supernatural call and we need supernatural grace Jeremiah 1778 says blessed are those who trust in the lord whose trust is in the lord Whose trust is the lord They shall be like a tree planted by water sending out its roots by the stream It shall not fear when the heat comes and its leaves shall stay green in the year of drought It is not anxious and it does not cease to bear fruit I think oftentimes we are when we're when everything's going well And our circumstances are are comforting Then we thrive but when when we get into these seasons of life where where things are dry Where the heat is on and we're under pressure we have a tendency to wither But to be trusting in the lord means to be rooted Like a tree that sends out its roots by water by the stream by that stream of the holy spirit And what does that mean? It can mean it means we can live live without fear That we can trust in god And even if our circumstances Are saying one thing god is dictating what's going on in our hearts We can have faith Confidence we can have that hope we can have that love We can stay connected and bear fruit I have had many experiences and I just want to share one real briefly Some of you have heard this story Five years ago 2018 I'm in Rochester Minnesota running one of our youth conferences About ready to sit down for lunch when I got a call from my son Andrew's girlfriend at the time And she was frantic And she said we were in a car accident. They just took Andrew to the hospital. I'm not sure what's going on And I and I tried to get as many details as possible But she was just so upset So I had to call my wife and we're and she was on her way to figure out what was going on Which we didn't even know what hospital he was in and here I was Hundreds of miles away in Minnesota and trying to figure out how am I going to get back to Ohio as quickly as possible I got the next possible flight But it didn't it had flight delays. I mean I didn't get home till two o'clock in the morning I didn't know when I was in the air if my son was dead. My son was alive. I didn't know what was going on But this I didn't know while I was in the airport I sent text messages to the hosts of all of our conferences that were happening And there were six conferences happening that weekend across the united states and canada And that night while I was in the air flying home Over 10,000 teenagers were before the blessed sacrament praying for my son The next day when my wife and I sat down with the doctor He was not giving us any kind of hope He said look 19 fractures in his skull We had to do an emergency craniotomy. We took the upper one third of his skull out He's in a baited He hasn't woken up We're not sure if he will or when that will happen. It could be weeks When he wakes up he may not remember how to talk He may not remember his name. He might not remember who you are We're really not sure what the extent of his injuries are but we want you to be prepared For it's going to be months if not years of rehabilitation and therapy and I remember like listening to the doctor And not making light of a single word. He said it hit us hard But also knowing underneath all that God's just saying to me I've got that and so They had a chapel at the hospital. We spent some time there and I just surrendered I said god I didn't put my faith in a desired outcome at that point. I just said god We don't know but here's what I do. I put my son in your hands And I want you to give me the strength to do whatever I need to do Sacrifice whatever I need to sacrifice to get him well again Just whatever it takes god just give me the strength to do that because I felt If it were up to me, I would fail for sure, but god you can be my strength in this And my wife prayed the same thing with me. We surrendered everything in the in the next day my daughter Madeline was Wiping some blood off my son's face because you know, it was really such a quick thing to get him into surgery They had the emergency operation and then he was in intensive care He had a tube coming out of his throat By the end of the second day, they had taken the tube out there. He was able to breathe on his own But he still hadn't woken up. He hadn't said anything But and she she's just trying to clean him up and she's a nurse And so she was being very kind and gentle and she's wiping his face off and saying Andrew It's gonna be okay. I'm just cleaning you up a little bit And he started to twitch like like he could feel it and he didn't like it And after a couple of minutes He just kind of opened his eyes and looked at her and said will you please stop that In god's plan. There are two powerful things prayer And the ability of one sibling to annoy another Even wake them out of what might have been a coma Long story short in less than a month. Andrew was home with us I don't have time to go through all the miracles and minor miracles and everything But I will tell you this Once again, it wasn't about me I stand before you not because I've ever done anything great for the lord I stand before you and I am who I am because god has done great things for me And tonight god wants to do great things for each one of you Perhaps the the most beautiful thing that he can do is just reveal his heart to you In many you might still be holding back You've been burned you've been hurt Maybe you're still angry with god because something that you wanted him to do It didn't work out the way you hoped it would you placed your faith in jesus and he let you down I think when it comes to god, we don't put our faith in a desired outcome Because we don't always get what we want because god knows what's truly best for us And what's best for us at any given moment is surrender trust and surrender believing hoping Continuing to take these steps even if it's a baby step tonight You know each one of us has a door on our heart The door has a handle, but the handle's on the inside All that god can do is come and knock And you have to open your heart to him Tonight, I believe the lord wants to heal Wants to restore trust in so many of us Wants to take our belief and our confidence and his perfect love to the next level Some of you have been through a lot of storms Tonight, all I'm asking you is to take your eyes off the storms And let's place him on jesus because in a few minutes he's going to be brought into this room And then he's going to be possessed through this room and when jesus comes near A simple gesture of trust reaching out to him a simple prayer of surrender Jesus, I give my heart to you fill me with your light and life and love through the power of your holy spirit Give me everything I need to know you open the eyes of my heart so I can see Experience taste and see your love tonight in this room god I give you everything I surrender everything God is going to call a lot of you To do great things for him Things that will seem beyond your capacity and even tonight he wants to prepare you for those moments by Building trust and confidence in his power We will do great To the extent that we receive greatly to the extent that we surrender and let god do something first So that's my invitation to each one of us tonight. Let us ask god to do something great in our lives because you were made for that greatness You have a capacity for that greatness you have a hunger for that greatness the greatness of his love To be poured out you in abundance. Let's just Without hesitation tonight without reservation give it all to jesus. Amen Amen