 skin was melting off from the mustard gas and I turned to a dad and said sorry mate. Welcome to episode number 35 of the Madden-Margill podcast that I've covered fully actual. We've got a cup of fully actual and we've been we've been hunting. What's the biggest animal you've ever killed? 15. I once when I was a kid and I feel real guilty for this. Me and my cousin flipped over a bird's nest and then all the eggs that were in the bird's nest cracked and they were half developed birds that were like and we felt bad so we took the nest with the surviving sort of half bird things to the neighbors like one of the neighbors of the neighborhood and they said oh these teenagers flipped this nest over and we were like acting like we were heroes and then the rangers came and we saved one of the birds lives. I hit a cookaburra with a brick once. On this day in 1852 he told me like by accident when you're young you threw a rock and it killed it. On this day in 1852 cables. Yeah the cable the cable guy was in development the writing of it. Yeah yeah so someone invented the word cables and then after that of course cables were invented. So pretty monumentous day because without cables we wouldn't really have any cables. Donald Trump's first son was born today. Two weeks ago. Oh two weeks. They develop quickly in the Trump family. Trump's actually only 17 years old. The first dead body was dug up and then reburied. And today's birthdays. Happy birthday to to happy birthday to God. Yeah. God watches the show. So happy birthday mate. Thanks for bloody making us the best. You go all right. Fucking God up there. You fucking go all right. Yeah he's not bad. He's not a fucking bad boy. He goes. Yeah he's all right. All in all end of the day. He's not too shabby. Too fucking bad and Buddha Buddha. Fuck off. No. I like him more. No Buddha fucking stole some of my MDMA. Last time we was having fucking to beers with the dog. Fuck you Buddha. What about the cow. Can I hit that one. Touch the cow. Okay yeah wait it's Matt from Halsons cow. I shouldn't break shit. That's not mine. We've had a really crazy crazy week and we've got a PO box now. Oh yeah. Do you guys want to hear it. So we're going to introduce a new segment into the show called PO boxing. Yeah and it's when we PO box and we box each other with things from the PO box. So our PO box and now this segment is going to be where you send us weird shit and we open it up live. Yeah live to us but then it's called the PO unboxing. So just send us some shit. Yeah put it make it flash kind of make a PO box sort of fucking beautiful thing happen if you watch this on YouTube which you should as well as Spotify. All right and the PO box is PO box two five six. Tagan T-A-I-G-U-M four zero one eight Queensland Q-U-E-E-N-S-L-A-N-D Australia and you should know how to spell Australia. People listening on Spotify they're never going to remember that. So just bloody watch it on YouTube if you want to send us something and we will open it. So if you have a business you want to promote send us like if you're like a bricklayer or anthrax send us a brick send us anthrax if you hate us you try and kill us. Yeah send us some poison and like and say this is a drink you could do something like that. Used condoms. Aborted fetuses. Kids you didn't want that you oh you can't say that. Nah fuck it send us those half yeah it's like the birds that I almost killed I saved one yeah send us your kid. Send us your children through the mail if you want us to unbox them on our podcast. So PO box two five six Tagan four zero one eight is the postcode Queensland Australia. What else has happened? We're recording on a Friday and we're fucking we just can't wait to fucking get these podcasts done so we can get out of there and just fucking have a ball you know get out there and tear the streets up. We're gonna go bowling tonight. Maybe. That's how crazy we are. But we've got acid as well that will take before we go bowling. Makes it a lot finer. So bowling and then tomorrow is a big day too. We'll probably have some stories. We're not gonna give too much away. We'll probably have a couple of stories. My boyfriend's 21st. Glocklin Godfrey. So bless his soul. He's only 20. I like younger dudes. But he's gonna be 21 and we've got a yacht. It's dude. Yeah. It's gonna be sickening. Like yeah. I will regret it someday. Everything I did. Fuck it. Hey don't ruin that. Why not? It's my hairband. Look how stretchy it is. Yeah. You gotta have the loose fit style. Look at that. It's fresh fix. Really a lot of tension on that. If you want to go back to see my boyfriend everybody. Locky Godfrey my boyfriend is on episode 27. So go and have a look at him and then and then think to yourself. Oh yeah. That's what he looks like. That's who they're talking about. That's the 21st that we're going to. Apparently there will be footage from it. Jackson is gonna be filming. He's gonna try and get a film on this. It's just. Oh dude. It's gonna get. I don't even want it to be filmed. It's yeah. Oh there will be. There's Luke Irwin's coming. There's a lot of the social media boys. Chris and Hanby's gonna be there. It is a a boys boys day which and front speaking from experience the boys days that we've had really got out of hand. I remember the New Year's bend. I was in front. That's what that's what Jackson spoke about. That's what he wants. A similar experience to that. That's why he's trying to organize a film. So it's gonna be. Well let's just say that chaos hospital. Can I have that that my protein shake thing? Yeah. So I'll mix it with piss. Yeah. Yeah. Michael's gonna piss in his. Let me piss in this. I'll sip it but let me piss in peace. Okay. Before we move on to the next segment, Michael's going to piss in his protein shake. I'll tell you when I'm ready to like let it out. No. Look at his little dick there. I can smell it. There's a. Yeah. It's barricades. I had a barricades. No. I can smell the chocolate protein that is mixing with your urine. Look at it slapping on the side of that protein shaker. Yeah. That is fucked. Yeah. That is fucked. It's pretty yellow because I've just been drinking beer. Nearly gagged. Fully nearly gagged. So yeah. I want to take my shorts off. The next segment has been renamed to. That's the name of the segment. And this is basically we just answer fan questions. And this week we have six to eight fan questions sent in via Instagram. And the first question is from. So this guy's Nathan and he wants to know if I'm gay. Is Michael gay? Great question. Yes. Michael is gay. Michael has a girlfriend but he is also like a full gay. Next question. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying there is but yeah Michael I'm just answering. I guess you know why I am because me and Lachlan are together but no normally I'm straight but with Lachy got free. You're getting enough beers in the women he's pretty much I don't think you want him to be. I've seen him turn into a transsexual moth. A moth. All right. Next questions from Ryan Matthews three seven nine. Do you guys even fucking like each other? That's a that's a great question also. Yes. We love each other. Yeah we love each other dearly and yeah we're very much in love and you know we spend a lot of time together and we really really admire each other and we're deeply deeply in love. It's been like well I've known you half my life now. 15 years and I'm almost 30. That's fucked up. I've never known someone that long apart from my mom and my other mom. And she's moved away 15 years ago. Both of them did. 15 years ago. So it's the same amount of time that I've known both my moms is the same amount of time. I am your mom. Yeah. Marty mom. All right. Next questions from Lachlan Filmer. We've seen it we've we know him. Yeah he's a good we we chat to him regularly and he's like how did your car end up with glitter all over it? Oh yeah. The video will be out. No will it? Yeah it will yeah. The video will be out so you'll be able to see what the fuck happened to my car. On our Facebook and YouTube and Instagram so go on do that. Go on leave a comment and subscribe and like if you like it and like share it. No it's good. Yeah. This one's Tim with 3M's underscore double O. Tim I would you rather get fucked by a cactus or suck a hobo's toe? Hobo's toe easy. Yeah. Fucking a cactus is like. Yeah 100% suck a toe unless that's where they you know how some people inject drugs in between their toes. If he did that it'd be close because you wouldn't want to get AIDS sucking on his fester. Yeah. Sucking on his fester. Yeah it was all like fucking it was all pissed up because that's where he injects his heroin in. No it's not. Oh yeah cactus it would be they'd be pricks in your ass. Yeah it'd be surgery but you would survive whereas. No but would you shit them out or would they just suck into your skin. Yeah that's they just become cacti and then that your blood your veins would take a spike up to your heart and then you're dead. So both ways you die. So yes I would do both. I understand that. All right next question is from Jackie McCrackle. Jackie fucking bitch. Fuck yeah Jackie. Will you upload to YouTube. Will you upload to YouTube. What do you mean we do upload to YouTube Jackie. Yeah Jackie if you don't know that we don't upload to YouTube you need to. You need to have a look on YouTube and just YouTube search Marty and Michael. So before like it takes the same amount of time to ask us that question as it does just type into YouTube search Marty and Michael. It's the link in our description on our Instagram. We talk about it all the time. We are YouTubers. So yes we do upload to YouTube to answer your question. Fuck Jackie I'm trying so hard to be polite right now I'm angry. I knew that was going to be a fucked question I had a feeling in my sick spine. Locky mickle fucking locky dog fuck your brother. Yes. What's the craziest thing you guys have done overseas. So many things but what springs to mind. Straight away is when we're in Paris we got arrested and we spent 24 hours in a two meter by meter cell with four people and the gang of the mafia that we got into the fight with was they were trying to kill us. It was far. There's a story in one of our earlier podcasts. Let's go back and listen to every single podcast because all the stories. The craziest thing will be when we kidnapped and bash that guy. But the other crazy thing was overseas would be when we remember when we tortured that small dog we found we were walking home from a night out and we grabbed this dog from this like French guys. I don't remember I think it's made up a little poodle or something and we took it to an alleyway and we were sort of just ripping its fur off. Silas Williams underscore. How is it where you guys live. Yeah shit questions this week guys. No no well great question. How is it here. It's look it's how would you describe it like the weather is that what you want to know. It's good like it's good. Okay the weather is good. It's like it's it's 24 25 degrees Celsius during the day and at night it's a it's a lovely refreshing 16 degrees 17 degrees. I hate summer here. It's it's not summer yet but it's spring. But yeah it's it's quite lovely and and thank you for so politely asking that. How is it where you are. Oh I hate you deep down. All right this one's from Rebskell and she's asked very important question for podcasts. Right now the distance between the earth and the moon is about 400 000 kilometers. The moon is drifting away by one and a half inches per year. So the question is do you think Paul Walker would still be alive if he was wearing a seat belt. There's more of a chance. Oh yeah there's definitely a much better chance. But it's oh I remember when I went through like a stage when I was working at Woolworths I would just start like I'd be like fuck wearing a seat belt because I haven't been in a proper car accident really and so I was like fuck putting it on. So I just went to this period of like three months where I just didn't wear a seat belt until I got pulled over and they're like you weren't wearing a seat belt and it was like a $400 fine. Paul you're being Paul Walker. Yeah we went through a Paul Walker phase. I was furious and very fast. But yeah if he was wearing a seat belt he probably I don't think a seat belt can can save you if you slam into a tree head on. Is that what it was a tree? I don't know. I'm just I'm just sort of guessing. It seems like something he would do because he would have been I'm picturing his in the car he's screaming too I'm too fast I'm too furious and he lines a tree up and he's like says to his man hey watch this man. I'm going to go through the tree because I'm so fine. Watch I'm going to get to the tree and then like we're going to cut in half and keep driving through. I imagine I'm a think. See like I like the guy in a way because I guess everyone he's got a pretty face so you just sort of go oh yeah fuck he's cool but oh man you fucking like if you're in a movie you've killed your career first off if you are in the Fast and Furious series even though the Rock just did it and he's the highest paid actor in the world it's just a shit movie shit vibe cars are fucked it's a one that gets you from A to B don't put your life savings and then oh yeah you know how I feel about cars but yeah Paul Walker like he was too real with his job he was um yeah but so it was a good like is a good it's something that we would do like oh watch me fucking have a head on with this tree at 200k's now I you know thinking it's a bit of a laugh but turns out it's quite dangerous so after Paul Walker did that experiment now no one else has to so no one out there needs to do that experiment anymore it turns out it's actually quite dangerous he did it for science I think I think that's how it went I'm like 90% sure that that's exactly how the conversation went word for word I think I don't quote me on that but quote me sort of mostly mostly is good I like that mostly quote me on that one and I don't even know if you hit a tree but I think that's what happens mostly you know what I mean half is shit all right this one's the last question underscore Caitlyn underscore there's a few dots in there too all right a good question for the next podcast what is the most painful video you've done we've answered this MMA we fought professional MMA fighters I couldn't sit down or cough for a month most painful was probably the one where the human pinata video where we just hit each other with a variety of household items and yeah it got really really painful there was some internal bleeding and I remember I shot an egg like hey we're getting into chickens that week or some shit like an emu sized egg like I think that was due to my internal injuries I think I don't I don't know anymore it's sort of a really hazy period that reminds me we've got a subscription website starting so if we can't post any of these fucked up videos that we used to do we can't post them anymore so if you want to see some fucked up shit and see extended versions of all of our videos that we film jump on our waiting list Marty Michael there's only a thousand spots it's like what five bucks a month or some shit yeah five bucks you get extended versions of weekly content unreleased footage plus like two hours of content that yeah we have had to delete from social media or not ever even post because it's just a bit fucked it's like our old sketches and some of our old lifestreams it's pretty like that oh do you remember the time when we super glued tax to this tennis balls yeah I remember that and then we hit them at each other with tennis rackets dude it's brutal tearing strips of flesh off of our body oh man and we did the same with a sock ball and toe punted it into each other he had to go to hospital because one of the thumb tacks got lodged into my hand oh yeah he's like stuck in between his knuckles a thumb what do they call thumb or thumb thumb tack okay th thumb tack thumb did you think a thumb tag yeah if you m tag yeah anyway so basically that's happening and just if you like us sign up if you don't like us don't sign up that's fair enough all right we do have two more questions and these are good questions because I saved him from the other day and I just realized question for the next podcast dot dot dot dot dot who's it from man oh this is from Rajay Rajay Rajay fuck your brother haha yes Rajay go on actually fuck that question it's shit sorry ain't shit now this one's from Tyson underscore Bowen underscore oh six he's going to be devil yeah fuck I'm okay just read it and we'll just quickly answer it did you know the left hand side of your brain controls the right hand side of your body and the right hand side of your brain controls the left hand side of your body yes cool wow all right this one's from Tyson underscore Bowen tiesy tiesy you fucking legend yes tiesy yes yeah well he will love your answer this do you get flashbacks when eating steak or drinking milk I get uh I wouldn't call them flashbacks I get episodes I get I have episodes of um extremely intense emotional feelings and um it was like it comes out like all the rage and anger you put into it when you see him not in their form but part of their form you get like what you want to like have like a relationship I don't eat steak and drink milk anymore just because it was just too much it was too overwhelming I'd have a you know bowl of cereal for breakfast with some milk in it and um I'd end up just like finding a fucking stray cat and splitting its skull in half you know just so overwhelming so I've just stopped consuming that but yeah it's just sort of a uh I'd have fits and sieges where I'd be screaming and foaming at the mouth and my eyes would be blinking really fast and I'd be clapping with my palms like this and my legs would be I'd be on my belly and my legs would be sort of all contorted up in the air and I'd be screaming and crying and laughing at the same time did you levitate once yeah this one time I sort of levitated and then like levitated up the stairs and slammed into the bathroom door I threw a block of ice at my sister's back right in the middle of the spine could she ever whip that because she offered me like some uh some mints and uh she's still like she still doesn't speak to me and fair enough like I hit her in the back with a like a three kilo block of ice yeah yeah she's what was that even in the fridge a three kilo block of ice that's ridiculous and yeah as he said it's episodes he doesn't he doesn't have control it's just massive like massive I've dislocated my shoulders once eating a steak because I was trying to um clap behind my back yeah he started that for a while and I did I managed to clap behind my back his shoulder blades here so the back of my hands would clap touch while I would be crying laughing and screaming of intense rage all at the same time so their tears wouldn't just run down my face they would like it would be like pressurized mist flying out of my eyes very intense that sound as well yeah dude you don't want to see Marty around anything to do with cows like this is oh wait we can't break that one but yeah that's hard for him to not get frustrated at that is a cow like in front of us if you're listening to this that's why you gotta go watch it subscribe to our website subscription based money Michael docker oh yeah make sure you send us don't forget to send money to us hey all right and that's um the end of question time we did it we did it um all right so now it's on to the next segment and this segment has been renamed which of course is russian for some comments on youtube yeah so these are things topics that you guys tell us to talk about so it's similar to q&a because some of them are questions it's just us wanting to talk about ourselves oh by the way while we're getting this up hang phone hell check him out he sent us these merch like these shirts he's one of my favorite singers i love him he knows all the jackass boys so he sent this up to us check them out um all right uh this is a good question here uh when is michael expected to die um i did some calculations and 2026 on the 13th of august at 1 30 p.m uh there will be a small small car that uh hits him wounds him and then he stupidly um tries to get up and uh his vertebrae sort of a bit fraction that separates and then he falls on the ground and no one stops to pick him up uh because they just think he's drunk so everyone just keeps walking by and sort of laughing a bit and uh it takes him yeah you know a good day but yeah he dies of uh it's painful yeah so so yeah that's how michael's gonna die and uh it's his ms won't finish him and he won't be buried he will be hung from a tree in a public area where um there will be a ring of 10 meter radius where you can throw projectiles at his hanging corpse so yeah that's a great question and that was from a question from panna archie turner said i definitely noticed how fat michael got because when i started watching him he was like golem fuck i miss golem man miss that guy that guy was um he was unpredictable like i've seen us all that guy do some fucked up shit i sit down and there's just like this fold of skin that goes like over my belt it's fucking annoying i never used to have that yeah we i don't know what's happened we used to be really into exercise and now we just not don't fucking care anymore god it's annoying it's hard to get back into it steroids yeah we're gonna take steroids we're not gonna name names matt brown matt brown uh works with wholesome concreting they have an office here in milton brisbane and matt matt brown he's um quite high up so he's got people working underneath him and he's sort of you know it's it's in the top of the building and orders him around and says hey hey go there he's the king of the castle he's the king of the castle the wholesome castle so matt brown from wholesome is it weird that i wanted to do the drugs you were saying and actually put my thumb up my bum no that's not weird at all do that's actually quite normal what drugs were they i can't remember all of them all the drugs you should do a fan mail section on your podcast that's the p.o unboxing section coming next week two five two five six p.o box two five six tagam send us 4018 queensland australia if we fucking we got the big box so you can send the big things if we if we fucking start this segment and then find out that we haven't got anything to unbox it is going to be so embarrassing we are we're gonna go so red only so with rage both of you are you okay did you do a poo poo matt brown from wholesome has just gone and done a shit he's just gone upstairs and done a long shit yeah all right next question Reese is gay flathead nine for one has said that Reese is gay there you go well i will drink it later if you at the end michael's just grabbed his protein shake and he wants to continue urinating in it so d namel has said sorry i don't tell anyone about you guys anymore when i put these on someone either turns it off says it's too violent well they don't react at all my topic of the week stems from your cock blocking stories which didn't have any actual cock blocking by the way they still fucked them my favorites are when women are so turned off they walk away like when michael took that poor girl out with marty and henry only to vomit and shit over himself for 45 minutes and that and to contrast all the cool chicks you know like when we hitched a ride with a drug dealer ellen wow that's a good memory that's good memory yeah i like that guy uh i don't know what's his name d namel d namel dot namel that's a funny name yeah it's pretty good how shit was our video last week it's just the logo yeah sorry about that how good is the justin ryan podcast the way yeah that's yeah fuck yeah brother any questions from this i want to see your faces and michael piss in a jar yeah there you go this episode you'll be able to there's plenty of that going around the smell of the protein is still overpowering which is sickening it's weird it's like giving me an appetite it's making me sick this wheeze weird this wheeze weird um blare kottrell or frazer anning would be funny guests that's true i'll see what i can do who are they yeah he's a 40 oh fuck yeah oh dude oh throw a shit on his back throw human shit on that we've been searching through the news stories no one has thrown judge duty still walking around with a relatively clean back don't forget hashtag someone throw human shit at judge duty's back start that hashtag hashtag so comment it in our videos if you see it hashtag someone throw human shit yeah very important human shit at judge duty's back i want this to happen oh dude so do i i would i would go to jail not a big amount just a bit of it and just leg it after get out of there because you'll probably chase you down yeah well no we don't want to hurt her i just want some human shit to slap her in the back so i want to see her face yeah when she realizes this human shit i think she'll be like trying to look at her back but it's in like an awkward place to see and she'll be welling with rage when the smell hits her and then some of the shit will fall off onto the ground and she'll turn around and look at it realize what it is see the person running away and then i think she will turn into a super saiyan all right next segment next segment is called mappaloo have i hit it uh-huh doot doot ah oh is that my ears again this segment is basically where we just tell you uh some fucked up stories this week it's not our fucked up story we can't take credit for these there haven't been friends of ours and we're not going to name names you guys thought i was going to name names but i didn't we're not even going to say if they're how they're related to us just just to give us some more buffer because some of this one story in particular is very disgusting yeah but like oh yeah true so um one of our someone we know we know this story okay it's an anal story do you want to go for these so this is marty and michael's anal stories with friends all right so um the first story the first story so anals where you have sex in the bum in the bum bum in the bottom you sort of just fucking you fucking miss that one straight out the fucking guts of it straight up the guts i'd say do bum sex so the first story is uh so again we are not involved in this these are not our stories but we know these people that did it and that's what we're telling you because they're funny they're very funny to us fucked so uh and this this you go first because mine's worse than your puts me off anal pretty hard this story but uh yeah michael's is much worse so uh went out with a mate uh got you know drunk as you do this is like over 10 years ago okay when our decision making was very poor anyway my friends i'm just gonna keep it quite brief because i'm worried that he listens he's not gonna fuck no one knows who he is and we're not naming names we're just saying a story and he won't care anyway um it gets to the end of the night we're both hammered and this person picks up a girl and um she's not the most attractive ugly i can't i can't remember i can't remember um and anyway so they get home and um this person is so drunk and it's the lights are off they start you know hooking up in bed or whatever and this person is so drunk he doesn't even realize it but he and he he slips it in the wrong one he's straight past the bloody gate and the guts of it around the back pad it kills a lot more fucking straight up the guts of it and she's fucking her ass and he didn't even realize he didn't even realize that he was fucking her ass so he would have been going hard out yeah oh my god that would have hurt she didn't say anything i don't i don't know i wasn't there she's dead and um anyway and that he didn't even realize until the next day when he went to the toilet and he went to the toilet started pissing pulled his foreskin back to reveal a piece of corn oh piece of corn god damn it that's fucked so he's fucking around his dick he said his dick was just covered in shit as well and a piece of corn that's fucking unbelievable and then he said he just he didn't even have a shower he just had a wank and then had a shower yeah that's right why could he couldn't come or something oh he just i don't know he just has a twisted guy has a bat and uses the shit as lube oh man so yeah there we go oh my god the scariest thing sorry about all right this one's worse in a way because your parents in a way in every way it is much much worse so friend someone the this is yeah someone someone did this yeah okay so imagine you're in a relationship there's a so you've got a relationship yeah that's perfect that's a perfect little pun there okay okay so basically the dude's over at his girlfriend's house they're in the kitchen the parents at the house have gone out they're like okay we're leaving now we're just going out the garage door's gone up they've fucking reversed the car out they're gone the boyfriend and the girlfriend decide to have anal in the kitchen risky like real fast anal so he's just so they've gone and he's just gone a little bit horny he's slipped it straight in straight in the arse no lube or anything and it's just like all right it's in now he's he's fucking going at it in in a pretty hard and then the fucking garage door opens up again they hear it opening and they're freaking out because they're like mid fucking anal and the door the mum's gonna come through the door at any second so like the boyfriend freaks out and goes fucking pulls out so quickly on this dry ass that she what's it called prolapse pulls her inside pulls her inside of her ass out pulls her guts out straight up the guts pulls her guts out of it so the guts are out now her ass has got this like red like baboon thing it's like a baboon ass you can't control your shit then so you just she's just shitting continuously she's just pouring out of it in the kitchen just like a like a stream of shit so there's shit everywhere shit hose i imagine the boyfriend is such a cunt that he's just gone fuck this king hit her leg no yeah he didn't hit her but he legged it and ran upstairs in fear of just the situation of mum and dad her mum and dad walking in so he's just ran and just ditched her and then the mum walks in and just sees her daughter just screaming and just shit flying out of her arse in the kitchen and she's just only left like two minutes ago it was literally like three minutes comes back in to find your daughter and now she has to have a fucking no no no no no don't go yet so the end she's like mum i can't like she says to mum mum i can't stop shitting wow like and blah blah blah end of the day she had to go to hospital and that girl forever will shit into a bag she's a shit bag now attached to a belly for the rest of her life because her arse is fucked like literally got fucked yeah it's just he fucked broke it he fuck broke it fuck broke it that's the ultimate yeah what a nice guy not really hey no no no no no no no no no no she would he would have broken up with her that night he would have broken up with her that night i imagine he's like you're broken now like well at least she gets good parking for the rest of her life yeah yeah disabled parking is great and that's our anal stories with friends not yeah with friends not our anal stories can't stress that enough they're not our stories all right which brings us to our final segment now which has not been renamed ah yes it has oh got him be fun it's just where we prank call uh fucking fucking dominoes and for this week i'm just gonna crack makeup on the spot dad jokes the whole time while i'm talking to them and see what happens with the fucking dad i'll start off like real dad joking and then i might get a bit twisted and fucked at the end g'day holly would i be able to make a uh pick up order please yeah look i'm uh i'm buying for the fans so i've got a couple of pizzas here um just can i get a uh you guys do hawaiian don't you yeah right what what sort of bases you've got there uh look i might get the uh the deep hand on that one and um on a tomato tomato sauce base that one please yeah or tomato that reminds me of uh of a joke actually you're like jokes holly sorry what was that i've got a quick joke for you there's a bloody family of tomatoes walking along all right and uh the bloody the mum and the dad tomato at the front and uh the dad tomato accidentally steps on the uh little baby tomato and turns around says uh catch up yeah yeah thanks thanks mate uh so uh also i'll look i'll get a uh the meat lovers i'll get a couple of those put down a couple of them meat lovers and uh you guys got that uh italian uh herb bread or garlic bread or whatever you want to call it yeah yeah that's the one that bloody reminds me another joke actually uh so there's two italians uh walk into a pub and the bartender and looks at them and says get out your fucking wogs that's a bit more uh bloody r-rated that one but that one's not for the kids what what other meat she's got there yeah i should have one more bit of a steak that reminds me of a just a quick one another bloody got another joke for you since you bloody like him what did the um what did the farmer say to the other farmer he said he was leaning over the fence and goes oh he might wear farmers there's a bit of a weird well i've got a got a weed to the human one yeah uh no no just just just the uh the one there and the others just on the on the classic the classic yeah yeah just the other ones on just the normal base there and so you got the fat one you got the normal one and you got the skinny one right right that reminds me of another bloody joke you're fucking love this one right so there's a fat guy a normal bloke and the skinny guy and they're all walking walking into the bloody graveyard right and the fat guy turns to the middle guy and says mate that's where my mother's buried don't step on there right so the fucking middle size guy goes and stands on the grave right and then the fat guy starts chasing him and then the bloody yeah the skinny guy while the fat guy's chasing him the skinny guy's fucking digging the grave up and shit yeah no that's the uh i think i forget the punch line there but you sort of get the gist of it yeah so how many pizzas we got there now yep that's great uh why'd the chicken cross the road because it was getting chased by five rapists another dirty one no i'm a bit of a sick jono yeah jono and uh look what drinks you guys got you guys got that fanner sun kissed can you do cans cans of drink or is it just just yeah we do cans right can i get six cans of sun kissed and that reminds me another one actually so there's four four cans heading towards the hairdresser right four cans the first can goes and gets bloody like an afro thing right second can goes in gets his hair bloody straightened third can goes in and gets like a real like a buzz cut right and then the last can looks at all the other cans and goes mate i'm not bloody getting that shit done yeah so all right and uh six cans of sun kissed and um you guys got Pepsi or Coke over there oh Pepsi and Coke how they're bloody fucking arguing all the time out there there's a bottle of Pepsi and a bottle of bottle of coke right they're having having dinner and they're sitting at the table right and the bottle of coke turns to the Pepsi and says mate why you why you copying everything i'm doing you taste exactly like i do right but i was i was put i was made first and then the Pepsi just turns to the coke and says shut up your druggo because he's on fucking it coke or some shit classic meat lovers chicken and camembert and two to go with grass and margarita and six cans of sun kissed well why did the baby die because the pit bull got off the chain right hahaha fucking love me baby jokes we got another one quick just a quick one what why did the baby die really aggressive brain tumor is about six months old haha i'm just gonna have to cancel that order and um i don't know why uh no but i had to have one more joke one more quick joke for you right there's this lady walking around and um she's got fake tits no no trust me you'll love this one she's got fake tits right and she goes to the beach and this bloke walks up to her and says tries to introduce himself and then he sees she sees him looking at her tits right so she fucking she knows all he wants his bloody sex right so she just fucking looks at him straight in the square on the fucking eyes and goes you fucking look at me again i'll fucking drop you that's what she said to the bloke and the bloke turns around and goes i'm blind because i was blind he didn't even bloody couldn't even see him whoa dude i hate that guy who you were there i was sick i hated that prank all like that is one of the best ones anyway um that is the end of episode number 35 um be with us be one always be whole and never forget that we are the best we're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best oh wait mocha's gonna drink some piss i've won sit whoa anyway i was just saying we're the best in that it's like chocolate yeah we're sort of the best