 After the initial chase phase, why do men cut back communication? Well, if you want more communication from a man, I'm gonna suggest not doing this, okay? Now I'm gonna share from my notes. So give me a second to read here for a second, but why do men cut back on communication after the chase phase? Well, there's two primary reasons. One is he's pulling back because he's just not that into you and we'll get into that in a moment. Or the second reason is he feels secure in the relationship and he doesn't need constant communication. Now here's the challenge. Either way, women oftentimes expressed and many dating coaches suggest the following. They tell women this if they want more communication from a man and they suggest the following. I would really feel good, or it could be I would really feel great if I could hear from you more often like a good morning text or a good evening text, okay? That's what dating coaches say is to express how you would feel really good if you did this, okay? And somehow because men like to be the hero, they want to do what you ask because you asked it. Well, let's be real for a moment. How often does that really work? Asking for what you want? And by expressing that it's going to feel good and he wants to be your hero and he wants to make you feel good because there's some deeper reasons why he's not texting back. But I wanna go on to say the problem with this approach is that it's all about your desires and not his. See, you're expressing a desire would feel really good if you do this for me, okay? It comes across as a demand. It could even come across motherly, okay? And as you know, men oftentimes resist their mother because as growing up mothers would tell us what to do. So when you say do this under the guise of it would feel good, you're making this assumption that he's naturally going to want to, but understand that it might feel like a demand. And for the guy that's lost interest in you, well, he'll keep forgetting to do it. He'll avoid doing it. He'll come up with excuses. He'll be busy, and he's gonna fall off the vine at some point. He's gonna either ghost you or end the relationship. For the man who is secure, and there's a really, I think it's important to understand when a man, again, after the hunt phase, when he feels secure in the relationship, talking onto the phone for a lot of men is laborious. It's exhausting. It's too much work. In fact, many men recognize, well, actually I don't think they recognize this, but you have to understand, talking on the phone doesn't get their primary needs met of companionship, connection, and sex. So it's something that we do in the early stages because when we're caught up in that luster limerence phase, and if you're not familiar with limerence, Google it, it's called extreme infatuation, we will spend a tremendous amount of time. It's like, you've heard about men who are the hunters, they love the hunt, the chase. Well, they go get their bow and arrows, they're stalking their prey, they're pulling out their bow and arrows, they're shooting, they're going collecting, and they're all in this single-focused kind of mentality, if you will. Once they've caught the prey, they're no longer on the chase phase. Now, some dating coaches say you have to continually make the man chase you. Believe me, that doesn't work either. That's exhausting for you. And that's quite frankly, game-playing. But for the man who's secure, he doesn't need to talk on the phone. So then it really begs the question, why do you need more communication? And we're gonna dive into that for a second. Oh, in a second. Now, I just wanna say to the guy that's secure, if you're making these requests and it feels like it's more than he can accommodate, then he's gonna sense your neediness, he's gonna sense your lack of confidence, and he's going to most likely lose interest. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Now, the real issue is you made a request for a desire instead of a need, okay? Let me differentiate. You have a desire versus a need. Usually the need for safety, the need for validation, the need for connection isn't being met while the two of you are apart. Now, you have to look inside and say, am I being needy in this moment? Are you in this state of fear that he's going to be talking to other women? Are you in a fear that he might end the relationship if you're in a state of fear? Ladies, you gotta work on that on your time, okay? That's not his responsibility to address your fear at the same time in a healthy relationship expressing a need and then making a request is a very valid thing to do, okay? So it could look something like this. I have a need for safety, validation and connection and it would be great if you did the following to help me in this need. See, at least you're coming at it from a place of like, that's really where a person, a man can be your protector, your provider. He wants to be your hero because you're expressing a need. When you're making it come across as a demand, the way most of these coaches sell it to you, they sell it to you, I would feel good if you did this. Well, you're just expecting something from me. What would make me feel good is not calling you. So are you then, okay, think about that for a second. I would feel good if you called me morning and night and he'd say, I'd feel really good if I didn't have to call you morning and night. Who's right? And you might be, the important thing is to come to some sort of agreement between the two of you. But I think the real issue that we're really talking about coming back to that safety, validation and connection is most couples don't have true serious conversations before they are physically intimate or shortly after being physically intimate. See, asking for more communication is the elephant in the room. And I think that's really the issue going on here. So I wanna read one more of my notes and then we'll jump into a little bit more about this but I said more personal conversations about your feelings, your fears and intentions creates intimacy, radical honesty, laying your cards on the table, the rules of engagement. This is something I talk about frequently. What is radical honesty? It's being vulnerable. It's being authentic, it's being transparent. In other words, if two people are going to engage in the getting to know one another then I think it's important. You see, most people date, let's just have a good time. It's all about having a good time. Let's just have a good time. No serious questions while we're having a good time. And what happens is when you're having a good time the pheromones start to kick in and the dopamine starts to kick in and all of a sudden your love attachment style starts to kick in and your Amago starts to kick in and all of a sudden you're attached to a person who's completely incompatible with you. I'm sorry, I said that with a little bit of a snicker. It's important to discuss what's the purpose of what we're doing here. See, for quite some time, romance has been the vehicle to getting a woman into bed. In other words, if we are romantic towards a woman we have a greater chance of having sex with a woman. Now I've said in previous broadcast I think romance should be reserved for couples in a committed relationship, not as a precursor to get into a relationship, okay? And yet, sadly, the expectation is a man must be romantic, he must be overly confident, he must be this, he must be that without taking into real account that most human beings are rather fallible, imperfect and not very swabbed, not very charming, you know, the vast majority of people. But most importantly, the vast majority of people have weak emotional maturity and weak relationship skills. That's the reality of what we're faced with today. Most humans don't know how to properly communicate their needs, wants and the desires in a way that's seen, heard and understood. That's why I'm gonna recommend two books. Where's the second one? Okay, the first one is Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. By the way, all the books I recommend are in the links below, okay? Now this should have entitled Compassionate Communication. The next book I'm gonna recommend is I Hear You, the surprisingly simple skills behind extraordinary relationships. Folks, I'm here to say, if two people are going to engage in sex and they're going to do it regularly, then it's almost imperative that you buy these books at the very early onset to establish, when I say the rules of engagement, I'm talking about what's the purpose of us doing this. But Jonathan, you're not supposed to do things like that. Men are supposed to take the lead and you're supposed to trust that they have the direction and they know where they're going. Really, you're gonna trust a population of human beings that are winging it. Okay, let me be clear. Men after divorce, right off the bat, they have a precursor and roughly 75% of single males over 45 years old that are single in the marketplace are divorced. A big percentage of those men's haven't aversion to anything serious. They just came off of something serious. It was such a disappointing experience that the last thing they want is something serious. So what they do, but they express, they want to be in a relationship. Well, relationship to a lot of these guys means I want occasional companionship, occasional connection, occasional sex at my beck and call, or I mean, you're at their beck and call. And you guys are happy to submit to that. You're happy to not speak up and I'm here to encourage a more conscious way to approach the dating process. You know, I want to read something to you and I'm going to step into this for a second, but I want to read something to you from a client. Just wrote this to me just at just an hour and 46 minutes ago. She goes, what I learned in my six weeks of coaching with Jonathan. She said, I learned to go into the online dating process with more confidence. I love that. I've learned to love myself, be myself and value myself because I'm worth it. Yes. I learned what I'm looking for in a life partner and she lists the five most important qualities to her. I learned to spot the red flags. Yes, we spend a lot of time working on that. I learned how to interview a potential person, partner, asking really good questions instead of interrogating him. I learned that it's okay to ask God to bring the right guy at the right time and believe it. And lastly, I learned that I have enough worth that I don't have to settle for less than the qualities I've listed. If I don't meet a guy right away, I know that I'm going to be okay for now. I love this. I love that she shared this with me. By the way, if you want to learn more about it, schedule a discovery call with me, the link is below to see if working with a coach is right for you. My point in bringing this up is most of you have a broken picker. That broken picker is because you believe that chemistry equals relationship success. The other day I brought this up. This is my relationship iceberg. The first thing you see is attraction and chemistry, but compatibility is where your relationship is going to go to the next level and that shared valuable valuables, shared values, blendable lifestyle and most importantly, emotional maturity. The ability to communicate your feelings in a way that's seen, heard and understood. And let me just say this, ladies, the men who avoid talking about their feelings, they avoid openness. They avoid truly sharing from a heart-centered level. These are the ones who can't commit anyway. You know, I've worked with so many women who come to me in a variety of different circumstances. All wanting more from the man. And yet when I evaluate the relationship and one of the things I also do is I do an unpacking session of their existing relationship or I do an autopsy of a previous relationship. I call it the autopsy in the unpacking session. And when we're doing these unpacking sessions, I have clients fill out about 20 or 30 things about the guy, so I'm a little bit prepared to save a bit of time. And what I recognize is women oftentimes make such poor choices because the band checked off all the boxes on the attraction level and some of the boxes in the values level and a few boxes in the blendable lifestyle levels. Oftentimes it's not even a few boxes. It's barely one or two boxes on the lifestyle level. And frankly, given that I said earlier, a significant percentage of men are divorced, you're dealing with human beings and women are just no different than men. That's a traumatic event. I want you to imagine that a divorce is the unraveling of your tapestry of an old life. And if a person doesn't reintegrate into their own sovereignty, and if they, listen, I am, okay folks, I know many of you seem to think that I've got my shit together. Let me be clear. I have my stuff. I am not a perfect human being, I'm packed, I'm far from it. And certainly after my divorce, I was an incredibly fallible human being. I needed someone to love me so I can feel good about myself. I was operating what I always say on my videos because the vast majority of humans, at least here in the United States are suckling on the nipple of I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to call me morning and night so I'm feel safe. By the way, there's nothing wrong with that, but it's also a two-lane street in relationship too. It's not a demand. These are mutual requests to meet each other's needs. But sadly, we're rather selfish and I am guilty of everything I share in most every one of my videos. I'm guilty of, I don't wanna say guilty. I have operated no different than any of the women that I talk about. I've operate just like many of the men talk about. I am not here to suggest I'm above it all. What I am is your big brother. In fact, one of the things I love about my coaching when I work with a client is we develop such a strong bond with one another. It's hard when the coaching ends because in many cases, even like the client I talked to this morning, she was so grateful to feel someone's genuine empathy because the reality is this, this isn't easy. I get it, this is hard. This is hard, finding a life mate. It's hard because we're no longer in environments we're surrounded by single eligible people. It's hard because the swipe apps, the swipe apps. Here, this one in particular, this app has bastardized the process because we've literally shrunk the connection for another human being based on a swipe. And after you've swiped a couple of hundred times, you haven't seen someone that you're attracted to, all of a sudden, there are no good-looking men out there. And men swipe right 60% of the time, women swipe right 5% of the time. Why do men swipe right 60% of the time? Because our threshold for who we'll have sex with is a lot lower than your threshold who you'll have sex with. In other words, we'll have sex with most anyone. Even Billy Crystal said it in the movie when Harry met Sally, but who we'll commit to, our threshold is incredibly high. And so why I think it's important to recognize this is having deeper conversations and building intimacy, emotional intimacy before you build physical intimacy ensures better communication so you don't have to use these techniques that other coaches or even, I mean, by the way, it's important to express your needs, okay? And do it in a compassionate way. I am all for that. But when it's done in the way that's taught, I would feel good if you did this. Just remember, that could sound like his mother talking to him and that doesn't work. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. If it is, post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts. If you do like this video, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. Hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos. All right, we're gonna be taking questions. Or if you want, you could join the hot seat. Everyone know about the hot seat. Before I jump in, I wanna address a couple of comments that happened on yesterday's live stream. One is the question came up about, this was when one of our hot seat members mentioned that a man on a first date asked who filed for the divorce in the case of her divorce? And she thought that was rather inappropriate. Now I thought about that and okay, my question is why does someone feel that's inappropriate? If dating is a process to getting to know someone, why is asking on a first date different than asking on a third date? Why is that different? Well, she said the first date should be have a good time. Well, I'm assuming the man paid because most men generally pay. So if I'm investing in getting to know you, if I'm actually putting my money where my mouth is literally, and I guess a coffee is pretty minuscule, but if drinks or whatnot, I guess I have a right to ask whatever question I want. Okay, that's just, I mean, I guess I'm saying it from a transactional perspective. Her being bothered by it is an interesting tell though. Why would that question bother? Now, is it something to hide? Is there shame? Is there something about that from her perspective that doesn't satisfy her? It's just a thought I have. See, what I said in the broadcast is asking who filed is an interesting question. I never thought to ask that before. Most of the time it's usually the woman. I'd say 70 or 80% of the time it's a woman. But if the man was the one who filed it, that might be an interesting why. I think the why we get divorced is a really important question to get a sense of another human being. Now, let me be clear about something because I was recently criticized that in my most recent relationship, I avoided the red flags, you know? And I talked about the red flags, I avoided the red flags and I went ahead against my better judgment. Okay, first off, I wanna say something ladies. Red flags is not the same as deal breaker. Red flags means ask more questions, okay? And let me be clear with everybody watching this. We all have red flags. We all have them in some way, shape or form. More importantly, we all have baggage, okay? Everybody's got baggage. I've got lots of baggage. Let me just say I have lots of baggage, you know? I, most every woman I've ever dated, I have yet to meet one woman who doesn't have, you know, they have to go to the airport and have to pay the sky cap to put their bags on the plane, okay? And everybody thinks they're the exception to the rule, but we've all got shit. We've got minuscule shit, we've got big shit, you know? Whatever, I don't really, you know, the thing is we've all got. So did I go against my better judgment? As I said frequently, I entered into this relationship with high hopes, it didn't work out, but that's okay too. And yet I am so grateful for the blessings. So had I, you know, and by the way, I, every red flag means ask questions. I asked all the deeper questions. I felt satisfied with the answers. At the end of the day, you know, there was a challenge between us and that's a reason for ending the relationship. It's a very valid reason and I'm okay with that. Now some people criticize, well, I go against, I'm a hypocrite because I did a long distance relationship. First off, I'm not a hypocrite. I have continually said before I met this person and after I met this person. I even shot videos well before I met her. Long distance relationships or long distance dating, I should say, is extremely rare that they ever work out. And the only way to work it out is to have a plan and to spend a significant amount of time together as soon as you humanly possibly can, which we did. In the first 100 days, we spent 45 days together. That's more than some people have been dating for a year. They haven't spent that many days together. And there was a plan very early on. I'm, again, I'm only against long distance relationships for those that spend months, if not years, communicating and not meeting, spending most that time through the telephone, through text messaging, which creates artificial intimacy. Then usually what happens, they meet, they have sex and then the guy bails on them. This happens like 97% of the time. So can you see statistically speaking, it's rare. That's my beef with it. I've got more beefs with it for a variety of other reasons. But I'm not a hypocrite because I also believe love is a risk. It's a risk to put yourself out there. At the same time, I think it's the best game in town. So anyway, I wanted to address that. Some people have criticized, but now I wonder, would I do a long distance relationship again? Let me be clear about that. Probably not under, unless the circumstances were, the boxes can be fit in such a way that it would work out. Now, I know I've recently had Rabbi Freedman, Rabbi Manis Freedman on as an interviewer. And we talked about the importance of marriage. And I wanna address something because I've been thinking a lot about this. A lot of people in midlife don't wanna get remarried. Sometimes they've been married once, sometimes they've been married twice, sometimes three times. And it could be have some financial ramifications why some people can't get married because it would affect alimony and such. You know, thousands of years ago, marriage was just a handshake. And I'm being a little tongue in cheek, but it literally was a handshake, okay? Two people met, they got, all they did was say were together. There was a piece of rope that was tied between each of their hands and they were married. So what would be an equivalent? What's the point of marriage is that it's a declaration to one another and you make some vows with one another. Can that be done outside of the confines of a marriage? That's a question I have because I think when two people go into it, very intentional, when they set the rules of engagement, when they lay their cards on the table, when they've been radically honest with one another. These are couples that usually have good communication with one another because they talk about the meat and potatoes. Couples who read the book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman. This is a book that lays out all the critically important questions to ask. For midlife folks, this is a little bit for younger people more so, but it asks the really tough questions. But most of you are going into it so naively because here's the problem we have in the United States in particular. First off, most dating scenarios are all based on entertaining each other. We're a very selfish group of people here in the United States. It's all based on entertainment, a big chunk of it. Also, the early stages of dating is, as like Chris Rock says, you and show up as the ambassador of your best self. The ambassador of your best self. See, most people don't show up really, truly who they are. The mass start to come down at the three month mark, give or take. That's when you start to see who the other person is. Isn't it interesting how relationships usually have an arc of six weeks up and six weeks down? I will tell you a big chunk of people, the 90 day window, they barely get past the 90 day window. Unless there's distance involved then that can drag out for years. And then six weeks up, that have sex, sex, sex, and then the guys lose interest. Kind of like what this broadcast was talking about. Why do guys come on strong? It's because you're not having deeper conversations before the penis ever goes inside the vagina. You're not building true intimacy with one another. And I'm here to say that my clients that do this with the guys, the guys are loving it. Let me reframe that. The guys who are serious are loving it. The guys who are out the door as quick as they got in, they're hating it. But they're already out the door. It doesn't matter for my clients that do this radical honesty right up front, they're having much greater success because it builds intimacy. This is how communication is built by being vulnerable, by being authentic, by being transparent with one another. All right, that was me rambling before I took questions. I saw a lot of questions come in. Folks, I didn't see a lot of them come in so repeat your questions, but we're gonna take Susan in the house. Hello, your microphone is off. Hey Susan, can you hear me? Can you hear me? Susan, wave. You can't hear me. I can't hear you. Let me check something. Bum bum, sorry folks. Nope, my speaker's right. My input's right. Let me check. Folks, I'm sorry for the delay. Let me just check the audio to see if there's something going on here. Nope. All right, well, we'll come back to when Susan's ready, she can come back. All right. Oh, Gigi wants to know, is it public information who filed first? I do believe it is public information because there's a plaintiff and a defendant. Isn't it interesting that family court follows criminal law, plaintiff and defendant instead of civil law, which is respondent and I forget the other one. But Susan, I'll get to you in a second. So really quickly, I thought it was an interesting question who filed first because if the man filed first, I'm always curious why a man files given that women file 70, 80% of the time. Usually of the 70, 80% of the time women file, I would say 50% of that time it is, or I'm making up these numbers. This is, I would say a big chunk is either infidelity, financial issues or a lack of emotional intimacy. Those are the three most common reasons why women file for divorce. And for men, actually, I don't know what the most common reason is, men. It's usually not money. It's usually, it could be infidelity or it could be, or it could be, you know, it could be, I mean, I know alcoholics and some other issues that happen. So anyways, that's why I thought that was an interesting question. Elizabeth May is in the house. What does she say? In my case, I filed first because he had so much pride, I threatened to file and have his business evaluated. So how do I explain that on a first date? So, well, I filed because he had so much pride. I don't really know how to answer that when you're saying he had so much pride. Pride in what? I'm a little confused. But so I'm always a big believer that we should take ownership on our part of the deficiency in the relationship. Take ownership of it first. I would say that we had irreconcilable differences and I filed because of that. You don't have to get too into the nitty gritty. But then again, I do believe it's important to address how you contributed to the ending of the relationship. I know I do that whenever I meet someone or I've met someone and I recommend everybody starting with themselves first. Cecilia says, I do need a divorce or sign something because my husband turns out to have a wife in Pakistan. No, that sucks. Well, then I wish you luck in doing that. Oh, ED has a question. What was the name of the matchmaking company lady that you once mentioned in one of your videos? Could you please re-mention her name? Oh my God. Oh my God, she's Julie. Oh, Julie Furman, Cupid's coach. Can someone write in the chat box, Cupid's coach? Julie Furman. I think it's F-E-R-M-A-N or F-U-R-M-A-N, okay? Cupid's coach. By the way, now matchmaking services is still a role of the dice, folks. I mean, I don't know if they have a high percentage of success, but they do have success stories, but I don't know the percentage of it. But I know Julie to be a very honorable human being. She's just a really sweet person, and I think she's an honorable human being. I don't think I can say that for a lot of those organizations, so. All right, let's see what else we have. Jules has a question. Julie, I thought I'd like to ask a man, what would your ex say went wrong in the relationship? To me, answer would be revealing. Can you speak on this? You know what it reminds me? Okay, if you asked my ex about our divorce back when our divorce happened, and I did this in my dating profile, if you asked my ex what went wrong, and by the way, it was bad judgment on my part to say this, but she would criticize the fuck out of me. It would not be a very glowing recommendation. So I don't know if, I think these days, most divorces are contentious. I think, you know, I don't think I'd want to know. I certainly don't think my ex would have given me a glowing review. My ex certainly met my most previous, met Marie, and we spent time together. What did we do? We played pickleball together, and we had also went to a funeral, and I think there was something else we did for our son, or my ex-wife and my son. But when a person can have a good relationship with their ex, I think that's a blessing if that can happen. Okay, the shepherd path to the kingmaker says, I think that it's brave of Jonathan to have let us know about his dating life. I don't see many dating coaches if any bringing up their dating online. You know, it's interesting. I want to address this. You know, my business started from my own personal experiences and giving my perceptions on online dating profiles. And I had no idea that it was going to evolve to what I'm doing today. And I have over 15 years of doing this now, which includes over 3,000 hours of personal development, workshops, trainings, videos and books. So I've amassed a fair amount of understanding of human behavior, and I still know a fraction of what a true doctor or therapist knows. I am not here to profess expertise here. I am merely a big brother that offers perspective. That's what my gift is. I'm a big brother that offers perspective to people. But I recognize that in our age demographic, many of my contemporaries are younger than me by a decade and a half or more. They're married and have children and they got married in their 30s. They don't really understand what we're going through. Family court, alimony, visitation rights, custody, erectile dysfunction, hormonal issues, estrogen, parents in assisted living facilities, health issues, you know, so, and the actual online dating world has changed in the last five years. Dramatically because of swipe apps, they were take about five to six years. And so when I say I'm in the trenches with you, I went through a divorce, had a significant relationship after that divorce, had another, what I think is a substantial relationship and it's still been worked out. I'm human, folks. I am not here to profess, by the way, what did I start my video yesterday on? The likelihood for success is slim. My job is to put the odds in your favor. That's all. May the odds forever be in your favor. Can anyone remember that? It's like Hunger Games out there. And I get it. So I can empathize with the frustrations, but I do wanna say this. I'm gonna do a video with my coach in two weeks. It's gonna be about difference between finding love and attracting love. Most of you operate by finding love. It's coming from a scarcity, fear-based approach. Most of you don't believe that about yourself. It's just the truth. And I can say this because even before I met Marie, I was operating from a fear-based place. I really had a chance to absorb my own book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? Which is a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. There's a link below to get a copy of my book. While I'm sharing this with you is I've really had to practice the principles I teach in this last experience. And what I'm experiencing now, and I'm going to be focusing forward more on how to be in a magnetic attractor for what you want instead of a person looking for love trying to find. So I really appreciate your question. Thank you so much. That was very kind of you. And I do believe by sharing from my personal experience, I'm just, listen, I say this humbly. I just get it from a, I'm with you perspective, not I got married a decade and a half ago, I got a bunch of kids and I'm raising kids and telling you how to date the way it used to be 10, 15 years ago. I'm telling you, today it's a whole different ball game. And speaking to people like myself that get it, hopefully offers a bit more resonance for you than those who aren't in the same realm. Susan, do you agree with me? I do, I agree with you totally, 100%. How you doing? I like your hat. Thanks, I'm doing great. I just, you know, I just happened to drop in, you go around there, cause I don't know the schedule. I obviously don't know much about, but anyways, here I am. So what's your question? Well, my question is, I need a crash course. I really do cause I've been kissing way too many frogs and I want to track a print. Are you a frog farmer? No, I am not, but it's just, it's just kissing. I mean, it's not even kissing. Usually it's just meeting and you're going, oh geez, did I, you know what? I do great talking to them, but I'm not attracting the right guys. They have like Harleys, they got tattoos. It's just not me. So let me ask you, of the men you're asking out first are any of those the right guys? If they look like they're pictured. And by the way, I was intentionally, that was actually a trick question. How many men are you asking out versus men asking you out? Oh, we lost you. Oh, I hear him. I mean, it's okay. I don't mind it. I can, I don't really worry about my, I have pretty good self-confidence, you know what I mean? I don't worry about myself getting hurt. I don't worry about that. I'm really the risk to meet the right person. Well, now I don't think you understand my question. So you're being asked out by men, but you don't like them because they drive Harleys and they have tattoos. So before you say yes to it, huh? I say thanks, but you're too far away. Okay, so then you're not actually going out with those men, so that doesn't count. Of the men you're actually going out with, what is happening? Well, the thing is, if I look like my picture, which I usually do, and they look like their picture right away, it's like we're so relieved that they're not your grandfather, that you have an attraction just because of that reason. Okay, so A, you have attraction. What's happening? What's not happening for you? To go forward, because there's not communication, the personality's not happening, they're pushy. So I need those questions because I'm a people pleaser. I'm trying not to be anymore, but they push, they'll just take advantage of me being nice. So when you say they taking advantage of you, has it been a hundred men in the last year or how many are we talking about? No, I've only met five, since I've been on a dating app, five years. Okay, five in the what period of time? Years. Huh? I've only gone out five times in five years. I've talked to a lot of you. Okay, folks, I really, okay, you know this is called the hot seat, so you're gonna get a little heat here, okay? Nice to make it like that. You're judging your entire basis of men on five guys in five years. No, I've got a date with other guys other times. I'm just saying on that. Well, by the way, you're not being clear with me. I said how many men you went out with? You said five guys in five years. So how many per state do you have? I thought you meant on an app. I don't do well on these apps. I just don't see this. Wait, wait, you're still not answering my question, okay? I have. How many men have you physically met face to face in the last five years? Not on an app or out in the. I don't care how you met them. You could have met them at the grocery store. They could have been a fix up. How many men have you met face to face? Oh, 10, okay, so that's two a year. But one was a relationship for seven years. Okay, so, all right, so now, all right, so you see, by the way, folks, I have to say something, Susan. This is an example how men and women communicate differently. I asked you poignant questions and you didn't answer them. This is how men get, so when you talk about communication with a man, communicating with a man and you're not being, you know, you're not really communicating with. I don't understand your question totally. Okay. I mean, I'm trying to answer it. Well, that's why I said how many physically, I don't think it gets any more. Okay, so what you're saying to me is, if I understand you correctly, you're physically meeting them. There are some men who you physically have met. You're both attracted to each other when you meet, okay? But something isn't working out. It's the second date. Okay, so are you not getting a second date or the second date doesn't turn into a third date? It's just that they push sex so hard that I don't wanna do it. So I don't have to. Okay, so you're saying that the men, and I'm assuming you're a baby boomer, Jen Xer. Yeah. Okay, you're saying that they're pushing for sex on the first second date. First, I mean, it's just like, it's so important to them, so you have to be really, it's just, and then you figure they'll go away, but they don't. Okay, well, the thing is, I know an abundance of men who are, I mean, yes, I am a man driven by my penis, I'm gonna own it, but I also know when a man likes a woman, he also doesn't man, he holds off, I mean, he might pursue it, but if you're saying no, and he's still asking you out on the third date, are these men, you're saying no, do they not ask you out on a third date? No, it's, you know what? I think I'm capping the wrong man. I think I need the questions, because they're all interested in, they're like, well, if you don't like me, you don't have to. So here's the question you ask on the telephone. What type of relationship are you looking for, and what does commitment mean to you? Those are the first two questions you should ask. What type of relationship are you looking for, what does commitment mean to you? Okay. And then go from there. Can I ask them that? Okay. Usually it's just like getting to know them, like you do when you meet a person out in reality. Well, here's some of the critical things to find out. You find out about their past relationships. You find out why their past relationship didn't work out. You found out, you find out when was the last time they went out, when their last relationship ended, does anyone believe they're currently in a relationship with you or not? These are just some of the questions to be asking. And then I go into more detail in my private coaching. Okay. Well, that's why I was interested because I need, I need, like I said, a fresh course because I'm making, I'm doing something really wrong. All right. Then right after this broadcast, click the link to schedule a discovery call with me. Okay. All right, Susan, sending you off of the big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug. But I didn't get to tell you, maybe I'll do that. Tell you about the two relationships right now. Well, I want to take other questions here from people since we spent some time. Okay, no problem, thank you so much. All right, you're welcome. All right, let's take some more questions from one of our Facebook members. Would a potential date stop communicating with me because he filed for divorce? He kept asking me, do you want to get a divorce? And I said, yes, so he filed. He cheated on me and I cheated on him. Would a potential may stop communicating with me because he, by the way, this one is so convoluted. If someone is existing, married, there's cheating going on, they're still married. I wouldn't get involved with that person. Okay, this just seems too complicated already to begin with. So that's just my two cents on that one. All right. Cupcake says, can you share the name of the book that would be helpful for someone who was raised to not be intimate with touch? He has no thought to hold hands, hug, kiss, other intimate actions. I don't know of a book. I mean, no book comes to my mind regarding somebody who avoids physical touch. I think physical touch is an imperative part of a relationship. So there must be some sort of trauma this person experienced in their life that has them avoiding physical touch. I just know I couldn't date someone that had that issue. I mean, because that's something that probably needs to be worked on through a therapist. There probably is some severe trauma. If I'm understanding the question properly, I might not be understanding it, but I would think that person needs a therapist or some help in that area. I just probably wouldn't engage with that person, but that's me. But I don't know of a book. I would just Google, put the question in a chat GPT and see what it has an answer for you. That might be a way. That would be, what book would you recommend? Write that in, put it in the AI program and see what it says. All right, let's keep going. By the way, if you don't mind being on my hot seat, here's the link to join the hot seat. Cecilia says, should you date one man only? When do you go exclusive? Okay, great question. So I want you, now let's differentiate between a meet and greet and dating. There's a big difference. Meet and greets, as you meet them first time, you have no idea if you're gonna see them again. Do as many as you possibly can if that floats your boat. Now, you've now met somebody and you've gone on a date with them, okay? And they would like to ask you out on another date. So now you've gone from one date to two dates and you begin dating them, okay? You begin dating them. I believe in only dating one person at a time. Let me tell you why. If you're dating him and you go out on meet and greets with someone else and then you get to the one and second date and then you do it again and again, I want you to imagine he's doing the same thing. Do you see the problem with this? If everybody is multiple dating, you can't. First off, there's not enough time to do it. I have a hard enough time dating one person let alone two at the same time. Again, we're not meet and greets, okay? And second, I think it's disingenuous. If two people like each other and they're getting, it's hard to get to know one person. So why muddy the waters with two? Well, Jonathan, there are dating coaches out there that say, if you have a propensity to get attached to a person, you might be setting yourself up for failure. So spread yourself out. Ladies, that is such terrible advice in my, if you have a propensity to get attached to someone, that's shit you got to work on before you ever go out dating by spreading yourself out. That is going to, does anyone understand what I'm talking about here? I think that just absolutely muddies the water. So I'm not a fan of it. Plus, I think it's disingenuine. And by the way, if you're sleeping with someone, but he's adopted all I can go date as many as I want. How do you feel about that? It's just my opinion on that one, okay? Thanks, Cecilia, I appreciate it. All right, let's keep going. Sarah says, I missed the beginning. What's the timeframe to allow a man to open up and really be intimate emotionally with you? Before the penis goes ever inside the vagina, that's the time to build emotional intimacy. If you're not familiar with the book, Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters, you better have read this before you ever have sex with someone in the future, okay? Because you're setting yourself up for failure. Emotional intimacy should be built before there's physical intimacy. This is the problem. We're so hyper focused on attraction and sex that there's no emotional intimacy built. There's no real connection. There's no real friendship. And no wonder it's a cluster fuck out there. Anyways, that's my two cents on that, Sarah. All right, Minnesota girl. When a man refers to a woman all being dumb or stupid, is that a sign of general disrespect for women and underlying issues? My girlfriend was on a dinner date and the guy actually said that. You know, I know in the locker room amongst my men, we, I've one or two particular male friends that think women are crazy. Has anyone seen the crazy hot matrix video out there? So it's not uncommon for men to have a perception about women and it's not uncommon for women to have a perception around men. I have witnessed so many comments on my channel from women being so disrespectful and disparaging towards men. So now if a person did that on a date, that guy probably lacks a bit of cooth. He lacks a bit of a class and it would be a turn off for me. So anyway, there's not, actually there was no question here, Minnesota girl, but my interpretation of that is lacks cooth or class. Say Soda says, I really like a guy who's 16 years older than me, but he doesn't want to go exclusive because his ex hurt him same age as me. And he keeps saying that he doesn't want to hurt me or worry me. That's a man incapable of emotional maturity or emotional intimacy. And so it's highly unlikely that he will be able to meet your longterm needs and unless you want a transactional relationship then you're more than welcome to have a transactional relationship with them. Transaction means there is an exchange of either entertainment for sex, that sort of thing. But if you can't build emotional intimacy with someone, if you can't build a friendship with them then really what's the point? At least in my world, what's the point? Okay. Patty said, Jonathan question, is it needy to want a conversation long distance? So long distance relationships require, so because you're not physically in each other's presence, it requires oftentimes it requires using our phones to connect with someone. When a man is on the hunt phase, we'll spend as much time necessary on the phone when we're on the hunt. Number two, when a man is emotionally dysfunctional, talking on the phone can be like therapy. There's a significant percentage of men that use women and women use men as well for their female energy and women use men for their male energy so they can have these conversations centered around their problems. Basically this is replacing therapy. So in long distance dynamics, these are the two most common things that happen. So is it needy to want conversation long distance? No, it's not needy. But what it does is it creates artificial intimacy. It's false intimacy because until you're physically in someone's presence, you don't know who they are, you know? And again, I said this earlier, even when you're dating in regular time, you know, locally, the first 90 days of actual dating, you see the ambassador of someone's best self. And then their true colors come out once you start spending some significant time with them. So it's not needy to want conversation, but if, but most likely you don't have safety, you don't have validation and you don't have connection, and that's the need for it, okay? But that's because it's built on such a weak foundation because distant proximity, write this, someone write this down. Proximity creates continuity. Proximity creates continuity and continuity builds trust. I'm gonna repeat that. So the more time you spend with the person, more trust is built. The telephone doesn't build trust. You need face to face time. And I've always said it takes about 100 hours of face to face time just to build the first layer of trust. The second layer of trust is 200 hours of face time. The third layer of trust is 300 hours of face time. I'm gonna tell you that that takes months to build the first, second and third layer of trust. And you can't do it over the telephone. It's a false sense of trust. All right, Susan wants to jump back in. Well, I don't wanna pick it up. I mean, I just, you asked me, but I'm trying to tell you that I've already been here. Oh, okay. Do you pay for this? I don't know what you do. No, Susan, I didn't invite you back in. Only you had to invite yourself back in. All right, let's keep going here. By the way, if anyone wants to ask a question before we wrap up tonight, join the hot seat live. Ray says, I met a man on a date site. We did video chat twice for several hours and chatted for a week. We decided to meet then he ghosted. He said, was the distance after repeatedly saying it wasn't? Well, by the way, just so you know this, this is the other thing about long distance. Man will communicate with multiple women long distance because jumping on an airplane is a vacation. You jump on an airplane or they convince you to fly out to them. By the way, almost everybody that does long distance has sex on the first date. But in other words, they've been engaging for months ahead of time. And then it's always, oh, you know what? I'm just not into long distance anymore. It's a great exit clause. This is the risk you take when you do long distances. It's a built-in exit clause. And it doesn't matter how much they profess their will. Okay, I want you all think about this. How realistic would it be for someone to move? And really uproot their life. Okay, men most likely won't do it means you have to do it. And that puts all the pressure on the man to be your entertainment if you're moving substantial distance. So just remember, long distance is very problematic. All right, Crystal's in the house. Hi. Hey. Sorry, I was typing it out. I don't really know how to do this, but I had a question that my boyfriend that I've been with for about three months now, he had a bad back injury last year. And he wasn't paralyzed, but he can still walk and everything. But his body is still getting used to not being able to walk like he used to. So he has what's called an incomplete spinal cord injury. So anyway, he also has kids and he's been trying to focus more on working again full-time. And he changed the custody with his kids. So I was trying to type all this out, but basically he's like been like cutting off dates. He'll schedule a date with me and then he'll just, he'll fall asleep or he'll, last week, he kind of got in his head a little bit because I guess he was overwhelmed by everything and he just left his phone at school. And I guess I'm just a little confused about how... All right. So let me, can I ask you a couple of quick questions? Okay. How long are you two been dating? Just three and a half months. Three and a half months. Okay. And when did he have the... And we got your, the book that you suggested, the eight dates too. Okay. Really quickly. Did he have the back injury before or after you met? Before. Before. Okay. So he had a back injury you met. Okay. And I'm just going to assume the two of you have been physically intimate. Yeah. Okay. So you read the book. And then like a fifth or a sixth date. Okay. So, all right. So you've been physically intimate. How far apart do the two of you live? He lives now about an hour, 15 minutes away. Okay. Hour and 15 minutes away. Does he come to you or do you go to him? He always, for the most part, comes to me. Okay. Okay. And you've read the book eight dates, right? You said you read the book. Not all of it. Like it's, it's been difficult to make the dates, but we've, we're on date four. Okay. How's it gone? So the first date is trust and commitment. What happened on that date? I mean, I think we should have waited to do the dates. I mean, we, we, we've talked about wanting to read, like start over because we know each other a lot better now. Okay. But when we did the dates initially, it was, it was a good thing to have a, like, you know, just to be more intentional about what you're trying to get. I really love that he, he bought both of the books and I have one. He has one. Um, and he was ready for the record. I want everyone to hear this, every lady listening. You suggested the book and he agreed to it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And you guys did the exercises in the book, ladies, would you guys complain about men? This is a man who likes her enough to be willing to do this. And there are plenty of men like that. So you've noticed that he's pulling back. Okay. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. I, I guess if I'm looking at myself, I feel like I'm being, cause I love all this relationship stuff. Like I've been following you for a while and I'm so excited. I didn't expect to be on video, but I, I, um, Well, you clicked the button, sweetheart. I know. I thought I was chatting. I did. But, um, anyway, I, I guess I just get so wrapped up in the relationship, you know, behind the scenes, like, what does this mean? What could this mean? And that's interesting to me, I don't think that it's conducive to like, you know, just having fun and like being in the moment. And sometimes I think I can get too wrapped up in that, that I like, I'm not saying I'm stressing him out, but I, I feel like we're more. Let me jump in. Let me jump in for a second. Tell me what do you think. So. One of the biggest problems with, let's just have a good time. It's all about having a good time. Let's just have a good time. Is good time a causes to one person to get attached to another human being? Okay. It's not always both at the same time. One person, typically a woman after physically being intimate bonds with a man because a chemical gets released from her body called oxytocin. Okay. So right off the bat, you're bonded. Now here's the question I have. Did the two of you discuss monogamy and exclusivity? Just say yes or no. Yes. Are you boyfriend and girlfriend? Yes. Okay. So I'm just, a lot of times there's uncertainty here. So what the problem you have is you have a man who has a physical ailment that makes it, he's, he's struggling and I give him a big hug for that. One and a half hours distance becomes a giant pain in the ass, particularly if you have a back problem and getting in it, sitting in a car is going to be like after a while that's going to be, do I really want to do this? Well, it's not his back that hurts. I didn't mean to interrupt you, but it's now it's his legs. Like he just, he has. Oh, it's sciatic. Yeah. Like he. Sitting in a car for an hour and a half is going to be body. Yeah. It's just. I say this stuff to him and then I don't know if this is a man thing or whatever, but it's like he, he on one side, he really wants to push himself to, you know, get better and do things that he used to be able to do. And then on the other side, I guess he's just like that anyway. Like he pushes himself, um, you know, to the point where I just want you to think about this too. Okay. He has, he has a life where he lives. Okay. Has a life there. He's got his children. He's got friends. He has wherever he goes in exercises. So for, you know, coming to you is a nice escape from that to some degree. It's a nice distraction from all that because I'm assuming how often do you get to physically see each other in those three months? How many physical meetings have you had? I mean, now that we've gotten to know each other better, I go to see him sometimes, maybe once or twice a month. Um, and then he comes the other time. So we see each other maybe once or twice a week. Once or twice a week. We used to see each other. We used to see each other more frequently. He's a teacher and his kids were in, you know, out for some break. Yeah. By the way, you have school starting up, right? You got school starting up in the next couple of days. So the likelihood, here's what's going at the challenge you have is you're likely only going to see each other a couple of times a month. It's not an, it's very difficult to build the deep roots of trust. Okay. Unless you're not, unless you're physically in each other's presence, doing social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends, integrating into each other's lives. That's number one. Number two, it puts a lot of strain on being on the telephone and trust me, even if you're with a guy who's monogamous, exclusive, I hated talking on the phone after a while. I mean, you know, I just like, it just becomes laborious. It just becomes repetitive. It's oftentimes just, there's not. Well, we've already had a lot of misunderstandings. Yeah. And that's the other thing. We're going to have a lot of space time. Like we're doing right now. We just, it seems like we've like last week, it seemed like we butted heads over something really dumb. And we don't really argue. We just have disagreements. I mean, I feel like this is one of the most healthiest relationships I've been in. I guess my question is just more like, what's your question then. My question is more like, I, based off what I told you about being really into. Um, like social media or not social media, relationship stuff. I, I, I just, I'm not saying I just want to have fun, but I guess I want to be a peaceful person to him, especially knowing that he's stressed out. And before all of this, he's always been very good about communicating. Um, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, I guess. Okay. I want you to read this book. How do I, how do I set a boundary with him that doesn't, um, condone that he just breaks off dates with me. But all right. Well, now you're jumping in. Well, first off, you said you want to have fun and build intimacy. I want you to check out the book by Barbara DeAngelo. It's called how to make love all the time. Okay. Come back and rewind this and you'll see it. It's in the link below how to make love all the time. Okay. And then how do you express what, what did you say a boundary regarding what? So he'll, he'll say that he wants to make a date and then we have a date scheduled. And then like I said, maybe his body will just shut him down and go to sleep. And I want to have compassion for that. Or he's busy talking to a professor or a principal or whatever. He's a teacher. You know, so this is, by the way, I want to be blunt here. I guess I'm not feeling like a priority. I don't know. I am. And here's the problem with you're in a long distance relationship. Okay. This isn't an airplane ride. It's a car ride. These are the problems with long distance. Okay. This is just an inherent problem. Life is going to take precedence. Oftentimes over a relationship because it's not convenient to say, Hey, you just live around the corner. Why don't you come over and hang out or why, you know, plus there's children involved, right? So that adds to it. Do you have children? No. Okay. So it's a little bit easier for you, but he's raising children. He has a job. He has an injury. He has an ex-spouse. You know, he's got a social. What is it every other weekend? He doesn't have them full time. Okay. So, but he still has a responsibility to be around and such. Here's the bottom line. Do you expect it? Okay. You're in luck. Let's just say you're in love with this guy. Do you anticipate moving? I mean, that was on, we've already talked about it. But I guess I don't want to take up all your time, but he doesn't live in his, he lives in his home that he grew up in. He moved from his ex's to give the house to his, his kids and the ex. So they can stay in the same school system. So he actually, if he were to have lived where his ex and his kids are, that would be much closer to me, but because of his injury. Well, by the way, that's okay, but that's an if and but and that's nothing. Okay. That's a if, but ifs aren't the reality. The intention, the plan is for him to move back into town. He just, How old are his children? The youngest is two and then the oldest are five. Okay. So he's got 16 years of being where he's going to be. Well, he has to move out of where he is now with his parents to, to where his kids, mom is, but how far is the kids mom from you? How far is the kids mom from you? 30 minutes. Very close. It's still, that's still, okay. That's not around the corner. Yeah. You can make a request. I have a need for safety, validation and connection. And it would really mean a lot to me that if you make a commitment that you live up to that commitment. Now, the minute you say that though, it's most likely he's going to put pressure on him. Okay. You can make the request. I'm just telling you what's going to happen when this request is made. He's going to find himself in a position to saying, I can't meet her needs. I probably can't give her what she wants. And he's probably going to exit out of it. I'm just saying probably speaking. I'm not saying absolutely speaking because the two of you don't live near each other. This is one of the, so you have to accept him the way he is. Interesting though, because the feedback he gave me last week or the week before was that when we make plans because I'm really like, I'm more of an extrovert. He's more of an introvert. So sometimes the plans that we make, like I'd love for your recommendation on like how to get guys to make more date plans. He used to just make a plan and then I would just kind of show up. But now it's more of a collaborative thing, I guess. He wants to take in consideration like my diet and, you know, he knows me better and stuff. So he doesn't just so spontaneously make a date anymore, which he wants to work on. But anyway, he given me some feedback that I, if something that my friends have going on happens at a whim, I'm just like, oh, do you want to do this instead? And he gave me feedback saying that he felt like we haven't spent a lot of one-on-one time. And that was just two weeks ago. So I made myself available. And then he like disappeared or he fell asleep or he canceled. So it's interesting that I guess, you know, and then I would just say he likes you. He likes you. He cares about you, but he's not, he's not a hundred percent in. Because of everything else in his life. Yeah, everything else going on in his life. Yeah. Yeah. The Y is almost irrelevant. His actions say he's partially and he's not fully in. Okay. And then I should just not wait, but I don't know. Why don't you, why don't you take, why don't you take the exclusivity and monogamy, take the exclusivity and sex off the table and data. Tell them I'd still happy to see you, but I'm taking that off the table. Cause I'm going to keep, I'm going to be dating other people. How would he react? Two weeks. Huh? After two weeks. What do you mean after two weeks? Two weeks of not like communicating very well, stuff like that, or not seeing each other. I don't know. I guess I don't want to be. Okay. Well, all right. So let me, let me, let me backtrack that for a second. It seems to me, whatever his name is that you, I think you like me. I think you appreciate me. I think there's some, but I don't think like you see that your actions don't demonstrate that you're fully in this relationship. Now he's either going to agree with you or he's going to backpedal on that and say, no, no, I've just been busy. This or that. Well, like you're busy and things like that makes me lose trust with you. Okay. I've lost some trust within you because you've made plans, you've canceled, you, you come up with other. So are we really forging a serious relationship or is this a casual relationship? Why don't you get clarity on the type of relationship you're in? Is it casual or is it serious? If it's, if it's casual, then say, look, I'm going to take sex off the table. I'll still continue to see you, but I'm going to keep my options open with other people. Then see how he reacts. But I would get clarity. Is this casual? If this is serious, because it's serious, then make plans to shorten the distance and figure out a way that you two can be near each other. So you can actually develop a relationship together. By the way, people think you need years to do this. No. After 90 days, a guy knows whether or not he wants. Okay. Guys who are serious move rapid pace forward. Men who are what I call spenders. These are the men that want companionship connection sex, but they're not into, they're not able to commit. They'll waste years of your life. Well, we did talk about living together. I know that I don't know. I guess in my mind, I think it's cut. Then move in with them. Okay. Then spend the entire week with him on his weeks off and see how he reacts or him come to you. He's, no, he spent like the whole weekend with me. That weekend, a full week. Yeah. When he wasn't working, he did spend a week with me once and it was great. Like I love living with him. It's amazing. Like he cleans everything. He cooks a lot. By the way, then Crystal, I want to get going here. Yeah. Sure. Get clarity. Is this serious or is this casual? Just find out. Okay. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Jonathan. You're welcome. Can I give you a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug? Sure. Thank you. Likewise. All right. Let's see. Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Oh my God. Hey, I want to thank Crystal for the $1.99 super sticker. I appreciate that. Oh, I forgot to mention, you wanted to purchase a super sticker, super chat. Okay. Let me, Margaret wants to remind everyone I said proximity creates continuity, continuity creates trust. Exactly what I was talking about, Crystal. Soda gave us $2 and 49 euros. Not dollars, just euros. I think that's a Eurowriter. Is that a, is that a pound? That's $6. Okay. I appreciate that. Clod says, Claudine says, that was good advice. Thank you so much. I agree Hazel Crystal was a sweetheart. She's adorable. I fully agree. Cupcake wants to remind Crystal that clarity is magical. I agree. Jane sadly says. Oh, it sounds like a booty call. Leave that. Okay, bum, bum, bum. All right, folks, you know what? That was a lot of fun tonight. I want to thank Susan and Crystal for being on the hot seat. Had a lot of fun with you all. I hope you found value. You'd want to communicate with them more. Don't do the following. I need, it would feel really good if you do this. That sounds like a demand. Use the technique I shared earlier. Oh, by the way, it was a euro. Leaf wants to remind me this is over 70 minutes. Yeah, I'm okay. This is fun. All right, folks, I'm gonna wrap up. Did you find value in this? I'd like to hear your thoughts. Please post a comment below. If you liked it, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. Hit that notification bell well. And I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic Jonathan Barak of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera. I showed my pit stains. Give you a hug of love. I'm asking you to turn to someone. A pat, a table, or a pillow and give enter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Cupcake says, I found value in this. You are appreciated. Oh, I love when I'm appreciated. Look, Brian's in the house. Let's give him some props when we get a guy in the house. Ruth says good bear hugs. Melanie says hi. McCoy says hi. Facebook, Sherry, Cupcake, Miller, Margaret, Elizabeth's in the house. Crystal, thank you everyone. Big hugs to you all. Miller and Leafs in the house. And TS, thanks a lot. Have a great evening. Be well. Bye now.