 So today here we are in 2 Samuel. We're going to look at chapter 14. I chose to entitle this particular installment in our study here in 2 Samuel, Absalom's Return. For those of you who perhaps are with us for the first time today, we've been going through a series in 1 and 2 Samuel, and I do a verse by verse study through those books, and so we're in 2 Samuel chapter 14. We'll pick up at verse 1, and what I try to do is I try to touch on the verses before us, go through the whole chapter today, and look for some practical application. And normally at the conclusion of the study is when I try and tie it all up to a practical application, and hopefully we'll see that take place this morning. Let's begin at verse 1, 2 Samuel chapter 14. I'll read that verse, give you some background, and then we'll move into our study. In 2 Samuel 14 verse 1, we read, So Job, the son of Zeruiah, perceived that the king's heart was concerned about Absalom. Now, what we're seeing here now is that David, who had an oldest son, his oldest son's name was Amnon, we saw that David has had to deal with Amnon because Amnon and Absalom, because Amnon had actually raped his half-sister, a young woman by the name of Tamar. Amnon had had a desire, a growing lustful desire for his half-sister, and ultimately had received some kind of counsel as to how he could fulfill his desire, and so he took advantage of his half-sister, raped her, hated her, and got rid of her. And as we saw, Tamar had a brother by the name of Absalom, who was her full brother, and Absalom found out about Amnon raping his sister, and for two years, Absalom was angry and desirous of getting revenge, but he waited. And as he waited for those two years, he finally got the opportunity, he threw a feast, invited Amnon to come. When Amnon was there, Absalom ordered his men to kill Amnon and promptly fled, and so he took off and went to his grandfather's house, his grandfather living in the country of Geshe-ur, and stayed there for three years. Now according to chapter 13 verse 37, David mourned for his son every day, and so David greatly loved his son and wanted to see him. He longed to go to Absalom, but he wouldn't do that, even though he had grown to heal over the loss of his son Amnon. And so through all of this, we saw that David obviously loved his son but would not go to him. David had healed over his losses, but he wouldn't go to Absalom, and he didn't do so for at least two basic reasons. One is because it may be that David had a fear of public opinion, and therefore if the public saw him pardoning his son Absalom, it may have caused him face in the nation of Israel. But secondly, there was obviously an internal battle going on in the heart of David. David was going through what today people refer to as being conflicted. David had two things going on inside of his heart related to his son. We need to remember that David under ordinary circumstances was a wise and righteous leader, and as a righteous man, he would have struggled over what his son had done. On one hand, he would have a desire to see Absalom because he loved him. Any father would want to see his son, but on the other hand, his righteous heart could not easily reconcile such terrible sin. And so there's the conflict. On the one hand, I'm a dad. I want to see my son. On the other hand, he did something very evil, and so the conflict is within me. Now there are many people who don't understand that. They wouldn't understand why David was so conflicted over his reconciliation with his son, because sadly, many people don't have a righteous standard that is equal to what David would have had. When somebody does the right thing, there are numbers of people who have less conviction, and therefore they misunderstand why that person's doing the right thing. They don't understand why the conflict would ensue. They don't know why it's such a big deal. Look at, he's your son, isn't he? Then reconcile with him. And they wouldn't understand that David was a righteous man. They wouldn't understand that David saw what his son did as being a terrible evil. He compounded what had happened. It was bad enough that Amnon had raped his sister tomorrow and just threw her out, but it's even worse that his son Absalom actually waited two years. Then lured his brother over to his house and ended up having his men kill him. It was even worse, and so David's conflicted. On the one hand, he wants to have a relationship with his son, but on the other hand, his son's sin was terrible. And so he is greatly, greatly moved by this. And so as this is taking place, he has a general by the name of Joab. Notice verse 1. Joab, the son of Zeruia. Once again, Joab was his nephew because Zeruia was David's sister. So Joab, the son of Zeruia, perceived that the king's heart, now notice, was concerned about Absalom. So Joab sees what's going on. He sees that there's a problem going on. That word concerned speaks of concern, a general concern that you and I can have over a variety of things, but also in the Hebrew can speak of anger and hostility. You see, David was experiencing both a longing and a rejection simultaneously. A longing to see his son, but at the same time rejecting his son, it was going on in his heart, and it was very deep within the heart of David. And so Joab, his nephew as well as a general over his army, sees this conflict that's going on, and so he decides to do something to try and bring reconciliation. Verse 2 says, Joab sent to Tecwan and brought from there a wise woman and said to her, please pretend to be a mourner and put on mourning apparel. Do not anoint yourself with oil, but act like a woman who has been mourning a long time for the dead. Go to the king and speak to him in this manner. So Joab put the words put words in her mouth. And so this woman is from a small village that's 10 miles outside about 10 miles south of Jerusalem, Tecwan, and Joab sees this struggle and so he devises this plan. And he brings in this woman from the town, a woman that is reputed to be wise. He was an older woman and he brings her in and he gives her a prepared story in order that she might go to the king and speak to him. In verse 4 it says, When the woman of Tecwan spoke to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and broke her nose. No, I didn't say that. That's my version. She fell on her face to the ground and prostrated herself and said, help, oh king. The king said to her, what troubles you? And she answered, indeed I'm a widow, my husband is dead. Now your maid servant had two sons and the two fought with each other in the field and there was no one to part them but the one struck the other and killed him and now the whole family is risen up against your maid servant. They said, deliver him who struck his brother that we may execute him for the life of his brother whom he killed and we will destroy the heir also. So they would extinguish my ember that is left and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the earth. And so she gives the story and I want you to see the story. The story that she gives is a brother has killed his brother leaving a widowed mother without support. The family has demanded justice and in this case justice would be capital punishment. In Exodus 2112 it says, anyone who strikes a man and kills him shall surely be put to death. So this is the heart of her story. Her concern is first that as a widow I rely on my son to provide support for me. If he's taken from me I'm going to be without support. But second, if the son is executed there's going to be no living heir to continue the line of descendants of her husband. So that's going to extinguish what she calls her ember or it's going to extinguish her hope and it's going to result in despair. Now obviously as she's giving the story the two sons that are being pictured are Absalom and Amnon. She's just giving him an illustration. Well in verse 8 the king said to the woman, go to your house and I will give orders concerning you. The woman of Tecwas said to the king my lord, oh king, let the iniquity be on me and on my father's house and the king and his throne be guiltless. So the king said, whoever says anything to you bring him to me and he shall not touch you anymore. In other words I'll look into your case and if it is as you have said your son will be safe. Well in verse 9 she says, well I'm willing to receive any blame that arises from sparing the life of my guilty son. So in verse 10 David makes it clear there's going to be no problems concerning this. Don't worry about it. So as this is taking place finally verse 11 she said, please let the king remember the lord your god, do not permit the avenger of blood to destroy anymore, lest they destroy my son. And he said, as the lord lives not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground. Let the king remember the lord your god and do not permit the avenger. Now what is she speaking about? The avenger of blood is the nearest relative of the dead who would seek to kill the murderer. According to Deuteronomy chapter 19 that person had the right, if it was murder, he had the right to take him and kill him himself. So she's saying, please don't allow this to take place. Well David promises full pardon. That's what he means when he says no one hair from his head shall fall to the ground. Now as she's given this and received these promises now she begins to realize the real heart of her story. Verse 12, therefore the woman said, please let your maid servant speak another word to my lord the king. And he said, say on. So the woman said, why then have you schemed such a thing against the people of God? For the king speaks this thing as one who is guilty in that the king does not bring his banished one home again for we will surely die some like water spilled on the ground which cannot be gathered up again yet God does not take away a life but he devises means so that his banished ones are not expelled from him. I want to spend some time looking at this with you. This is really a very powerful thing. He's saying basically this, by your refusal to reconcile with your son you've put the people of Israel's future in jeopardy. David you're like the unyielding family members unwilling to show mercy. The people of Israel loved Absalom. She's speaking on their behalf and so in order to bring this to him she gives this illustration. Now when she says in verse 14, for we will surely die and become like water spilled on the ground which cannot be gathered water when spilled on the ground simply sinks into the earth. You know this you're drinking some water you're in your backyard it's a patch of dirt you drink you're filled with the water you just pour it out and that's the illustration. The water hits the ground and just simply sinks in. What she's saying is Amnon your son when he died was buried and he will not return to you. Because this is true David you need to show mercy to the son that remains. David you lost one son why are you guilty of losing two? You lost the one but you ought to show mercy to the one that you still have. Now when she says in verse 14 yet God does not take away a life but he devises means so that his banished ones are not expelled from him she's saying God does not rejoice in the death of people God makes it possible for them to be saved. When you look into the old as well as the New Testament you see that God is a God who seeks out the lost all the way back in the book of Genesis when Adam and Eve take of that forbidden fruit and the Bible tells us that after they have taken of that fruit their eyes have been open they know the difference between good and evil by experience and when they hear the Lord as he's in the garden they hide themselves from him. When God calls out Adam where are you? And Adam responds when you first read that passage you may be thinking that God is like an arresting officer calling out somebody so that he might put him in shackles and take him into prison. But when you study the passage there in the book of Genesis and you see that God is calling out to Adam when you look at the tenses and you look at the words that are used there in the original what God is actually doing is crying out but he's crying out in the heartbroken father who has lost a son. There's a tear in the voice of God when he asks Adam where are you? And when he cries out and says Adam where are you it's not that God doesn't know where Adam is it's that God knows that Adam has sinned and God is giving him an opportunity to be rescued. A lot of times when we look at God we may think of God as being this being this enormously incredible being who is constantly trying to send us all to hell and in reality God wants to make a way for his banished ones those who have entered into sin to actually have relationship with him. God wants to do so the Bible says through the doctrine of reconciliation where that God wants to end the enmity, the hostility, that bitterness between ourselves and him and he does so through the gospel by sending a son Jesus to die in a cross for us. You see the same attitude in the old verse you see in the new because God says to the nation of Israel that he does not rejoice to see the death of the wicked. He says turn turn why will you die oh house of Israel when God was speaking in Ezekiel in chapter 18 in verses 30 and 31 God said I'll judge you oh house of Israel. Everyone according to his ways says the Lord God repent and turn from all your transgressions so that iniquity will not be your ruin cast away from you all the transgressions which you've committed and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit for why should you die oh house of Israel. You see you need a heart transplant you need spiritual life God is saying and why are you bent on dying what do you have that you like so much that is you're willing to go to hell for us what the Lord is saying what do you have that is so valuable to you that you are willing to lose everything that's precious so that you can retain that why do you need that so badly is what the Lord is saying you need a new heart you need a new spirit and God is in the business if you will of giving us a new heart and a new spirit he does that through what is called regeneration he does that when you're born again God doesn't call us in other words to clean up our own lives he simply calls us to admit that our lives are dirty and he calls us to recognize that we can't clean them up ourselves there's no way that I can clean my own life up so it requires something greater than my own works and the New Testament reveals what it is it's the blood of Jesus Christ his son that cleanses us from all sin so when I committed my heart to Christ when I asked the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive me by his grace and mercy he poured that out on me and he washed me and cleansed me of my sin and my guilt and all I required of me was just to simply agree with him the Bible says if we confess our sin he is faithful and just to give us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness that word confess simply means it's a Greek word homiligeo and it means to say the same thing and all the Lord is simply saying is agree with me I'm saying that I'll have sin and fall short of the glory of God you simply need to say Lord I am a sinner I say that you need to come to me in faith and you can be saved you need to agree with me by saying God saved me and see what God has given to us is reconciliation that is the cessation of hostility between two warring parties two people who are at war two people who are having hostile aggressive attitudes towards one another are brought into a unity and the way that takes place with God is when I accept his terms of peace through the gospel of Jesus Christ which is the gospel of reconciliation God was in Christ and God called us a relationship with him and so when the gospel is preached and I hear that I'm a sinner in need of salvation and I need to agree with God that I'm lost and he can find me I can be found when you look in Luke chapter 15 and the Lord Jesus Christ begins to give illustrations concerning that he speaks about a man who lost a sheep he speaks about a woman who lost a coin he speaks about a father who lost a son and what you see there is you see a strangement between the son and the father but you see a reuniting through a confession and a need for that kind of relationship to be reestablished and so Jesus points himself out as being the one in the New Testament points himself out as being the one who seeks and saves that which is lost and he brings us back to a place with him so that we can have fellowship with God God makes a way and that's what this wise woman of Tec was saying here in verse 14 of 2 Samuel chapter 14 God does not take away a life in other words God wants to have relationship with you God is not willing that any relationship should perish but that all should come to repentance God does not take away a life he devises means so that his banished ones are not expelled from him that's the gospel that's what you hear when you come to church that's what you hear when you read the Bible you go through your New Testament and you read the message that God was in Christ reconciling men to himself that's what you hear when we preach the word that was given to us encouraging people to turn their hearts to Christ it's the gospel it's the means that he's devised to save us that's what you did when you heard that message and God spoke to your heart and said you're lost look how miserable you are you have no peace you have no joy you have no love you have no hope you have none of that and why is it and that's when you finally said that's when I finally said it's because I don't have you because when I don't have you I don't have any of that because you are love because you produce joy because you will give me peace and because I don't have you I don't have any of that and that's why God says and what do you want and I said I need to be forgiven that's what God was saying all the way back in Genesis when he spoke to Adam and said Adam where are you and Adam said well we heard your voice we were naked and we hid ourselves and God was saying to him you need to confess where you're at so that I can take you from where you are at you are at and bring you to where I am and it wasn't out of anger and it wasn't out of God not knowing where Adam was he was out of love and concern that he actually sought out that first sinner and ordered that he might bring him back to himself and by the way he continues to do that to this day doesn't he he continues seeking the loss he continues saving the loss he continues to do that he has made a way for that to take place and he does that through the gospel of Jesus Christ he has devised means so that his banished ones are not expelled from him now in context this woman of Tekawa is telling David that David you're not being reconciled to your son is really not a right thing you need to deal with that you need to deal with what's in your heart you need to deal with that well in verse 15 she goes back to the story here and she says now therefore I have come to speak of this thing to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid and your maid servant said I will now speak to the king it may be that the king will perform the request of his maid servant for the king will hear and deliver his maid servant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the inheritance of God at this point she's not convinced that David will reconcile with Absalom so she makes a continuation of her request once again returning to the story simply to make her point she does that in verse 18 the king answered and said to the woman please do not hide from me anything that I ask you the woman said please let my lord the king speak so the king said is the hand of Job with you in all this the woman answered and said as you live my lord the king no one can turn to the right hand or to the left from anything that my lord the king has spoken for your servant Job commanded me and he put all these words in the mouth of your maid servant to bring about this change of affairs your servant Job has done this thing but my lord is wise according to the wisdom of the angel of God to know everything that is in the earth in other words yes Job put me up to this nothing gets past you king he put me up to this in order to foster reconciliation between you and your son Absalom and so she admits that these words have been put in her mouth after that takes place verse 21 the king said to Job all right I've granted this thing go therefore bring back the young man Absalom then Job fell to the ground on his face and bowed himself and thanked the king and Job said today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight my lord oh king in that the king has fulfilled the request of his servant so Job arose and went to and brought Absalom to Jerusalem and the king said let him return to his own house but do not let him see my face so Absalom returned to his own house but he did not see the king's face so in a way there's an attempt towards reconciliation but it's not a full restoration David says you can bring him back but I'm not going to see him now it may be that David at this time is thinking that true repentance requires some time for the fruit of repentance to be evident because when somebody actually repents from sin it sometimes takes some time for that true repentance to be shown there are some people who are so obviously in sin that when they repent there are some real drastic obvious changes that take place when I first gave my heart to the lord one of my friends about three weeks or so after I got saved one of my friends said to me I know you're saved and I said how can you know that he said because you don't cuss anymore because man I used to cuss like you wouldn't believe it I had a reputation I used to create words just I like to cuss it was just pleasurable and he knew that about me and he said Dave you don't swear anymore you know some things that are outer you know immediately are dealt with if you are really heavy into drinking in drugs and you're not doing those things anymore those are outer things that your friends who know you best will see and they'll say man you know something took place in your life you know we go out and one is you don't use that language anymore two you're not doing the drugs with this and you're not drinking anymore you're not doing the things that we do some things happen you know and some things are real obvious other things take time it's like when you go outside and it's a nice spring day and you decide to plant something in your backyard or in the front yard whatever you're doing some gardening and you go out there and you dig the hole and you put the plant in there and you water it and fertilize it well you expect it's going to take some time until that begins to blossom that's just the way it is you don't go plant a seed for an orange tree and then the next day go out with a basket expecting to get fruit you have to take some time for it to grow it germinates it eventually grows and produces fruit sometimes it can take three to five years but it does produce fruit because it has within it the ability to do that and repentance is the same way when you repent from your sin it is sometimes seen very quickly because there are things about you that do change but there are other things that are character transformations things that are internal that may take a while from that to actually bud and produce and so David is at first thinking I'll bring him back but let's see whether or not my son has really gotten right if he's okay whether he's filling what he should feel about what he's done and so in the case of David what he does is he waits for two years that we're going to see was really not the wisest thing to do now as this is taking place in verse 25 in all Israel there was no one who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks from the soul of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him this was Mr. Israel he was everything when they looked at him they said that is a hunk in verse 26 when he cut the hair of his head at the end of every year he cut it because it was heavy on him when he cut it he weighed the hair of his head at 200 shekels according to the king standard this guy had five pounds of hair every year he had to cut five pounds of hair and that was just off his back I mean you should have seen it on his head it was amazing five pounds to Absalom were born three sons and one daughter whose name was Tamar he named his daughter after his sister and notice she was a woman of beautiful appearance now his sons are mentioned here the three sons but later on in chapter 18 you're going to notice that his sons actually die at an early age well it says Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem but did not see the king's face therefore Absalom sent for Job to send him to the king but he would not come to him when he sent again the second time he would not come so he said to his servants see Job's field is near mine and he has Barley there go and set it on fire and Absalom's servants set the field on fire and Job arose and came to Absalom's house and said to him why have your servants set my field on fire and Absalom answered Job look I sent to you saying come here so that I may send you to the king to say why have I come from Yeshua it would be better for me to be there still now therefore let me see the king's face but if there is iniquity in me let him execute me Job went to the king and told him and when he had called for Absalom he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king then the king kissed Absalom we see something about Absalom he waited two years that's a long time but on two different occasions he had told his cousin because Job was his cousin he had told his cousin I want to see he had sent a message I want to see my dad and Job was thinking more than likely I don't want to get in the middle of a family problem I've already brought him here the king has said he can't see his face I just don't want to get involved in this David had said I don't want to see my son and so Job had stayed out of the problem now as he has stayed out of the problem obviously Absalom begins to grow angry and so Absalom has a solution he sets his father's field on fire and that gets immediate results well that shows us something about the character of Absalom Absalom obviously is one of these sons who would do what he wants to get the results that he wants and he wants to get them now and that's how he acted well as this is all taking place and Job comes and says why did you do this he makes it very clear he simply says I've desired to see my father but my father's avoiding me now if my father believes I'm worthy of the death penalty let's get it over with but if not I want to see my father well in verse 33 Job went to the king and told him and when he had called for Absalom he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king and then the king kissed Absalom now when David sees his son something inside of his heart is touched and by taking his son and kissing him it is a picture of full reconciliation on the part of David David is fully forgiving his son it appears that David is satisfied but here's your problem Absalom was not now think about it for a moment Absalom has spent five years in isolation he's been in exile he has suffered but Amnon his brother Amnon was guilty of raping his own sister and David the father didn't respond to it Amnon has had opportunity over five years three years in exile then two years in isolation over five years he has had opportunity to grow more and more bitter towards his father to the point where he is not reconciled though the father is listen if you have problems in your family when possible it is always wisest to deal with them as quickly as possible don't let them just sit there don't let them stay with your sister if you've got a problem with your son or your daughter and you have opportunity to deal with it quickly it's always wise to deal with it as soon as possible but if you allow them to remain bitter in anger they will eventually get to the point that they could have a lack of desire to reconcile it's not nothing to do with you and it could be very well simply because you didn't move quickly enough to bring reconciliation in my family even though my children are adults now I don't have any baby children mine are all adults but even to this day if there's a situation that really needs to be dealt with if there's an issue that really needs to be dealt with I'm a father that believes you need to deal with it under the carpet I can't because I believe that that can engender a root of bitterness in the heart of my kid and it could break our fellowship if I don't deal with it if my wife Marie and I have an issue and there's some kind of problem where I've been writing she just doesn't agree with me and she has to learn to if we've got a problem I'm not one of these husbands who ignores it I've known husbands who just don't talk to their wives for days the wife is having a great time but you know he thinks he's punishing her but he won't talk or she won't talk to him for days they go through the house together walk past one another and it's all cold in there and the kids see that and the kids begin to think that that's just the way you deal with conflict by ignoring it and what happens is you sow those seeds into your family so that any time there's any problem they're never resolved you just simply just go through your mad period then you ignore it you pretend it never happened and then it repeats itself I don't do that what I do is I will say alright we've got an issue what is it we need to talk about let's get it out in the open let's deal with it what's the problem if I have a problem with one of my kids I will talk to them I will sit them down and it doesn't matter that they're adults I will sit them down and I will say listen we need to have a talk there's an issue here it's going to divide us what is it that we have to deal with let's deal with it because I don't want to have this unresolved issue in this hostility because ultimately you end up with bitterness there are a lot of people in their families that are absolutely bitter to one another and so Christmas is not a joyful time New Year's when the family gets together it's not a lot of fun because so and so is mad at so and so and they'll walk past each other in the house and won't even look at each other and it's just an unfortunate thing and this is what's taking place in the life of David David has a son by the name of Absalom who remembers that Amnon had done a horrible thing he raped his sister and David didn't deal with it so he's had something within him for a long time so he takes off after dealing with it himself he takes off for three years in the meantime David is mourning at the loss of his son but he's still angry and he's conflicted over what's gone on but finally the word has to come to him it's time to reconcile David's ready to reconcile brings him back but for two years he doesn't see his son finally his son works it out so that he can come into contact with his father by that time David's resolved it but now Absalom is five years into his bitterness and so when David takes him in his arms and kisses his son and welcomes him back there's something inside of Absalom that is refusing to be reconciled I don't know if you've ever had somebody angry at you and they've asked for your forgiveness and inside you're thinking I'm not quite sure whether I can or I mean we have to really deal with this and then they want to hug kiss and make up and inside you're not ready to kiss and make up and they want to hug you and you kind of get kind of like tense over this like what's this all about we haven't even doubt with the problem in a way I see that with David David's dealt with it himself son you're home but Absalom is inside thinking this is not over this isn't over you're going to see this later on in the life of Absalom because Absalom makes it his end to steal the hearts of the children of Israel from his own father because Absalom was a son who was bitter and angry and part of that to be simply because David was a father who failed whose sin was in the open was reaping what he had sowed to the flesh and in his relationships with the sons had lost their respect no longer had that moral authority and Absalom is rising he's handsome everybody thinks he's great he's already married he's got four kids and Absalom is thinking you've treated me like a kid and you haven't really dealt with the issue and he's bitter over what took place with his sister and David on the other hand has had a chance within himself to reconcile everything and has finally left it in the hands of the Lord but his son Absalom has not and because Absalom has not Absalom is going to try to steal the kingdom from his own father because it would appear that Absalom believes that his father is not worthy to hold that kingdom but that he himself is and we're going to see how that works itself out as we continue our study here in Second Samuel