 The Anderson family. I don't see why Junior and I can't go with you and your boss when you go fishing tomorrow, Oliver. Well, I just can't take you, Mary. The boss doesn't like women alone. Anyhow, this is partly business, too. I wouldn't make any noise, Pop. I'm sorry, Junior. I just never get to go anywhere anymore. You just go on your merry ways. Does it worry you that maybe I'd like to go, too? Mary, yuckity, yuckity. Uh-oh. Here we go again, folks. This all started when Oliver's boss wanted to spend a day fishing. Mary couldn't understand that it was for men only. In fact, Mary couldn't understand it at all. It was just about 6 a.m., an hour before the Anderson family was supposed to be up, and around when, through their open window... Mary? Mary? Is that Junior crying? What did you say? Someone's in pain. I'm sure I don't know, Oliver. Wait a minute. It's coming from next door. It's that new rumor, Tuttle. Oh. Oliver, please don't say anything now. Hey, Tuttle! Hold it to daylight, will ya? Oh, it's no use. You try, Mary. He'll listen to you. I don't think this is right, Oliver. Go ahead. Ask him nicely, then I'll do it the hard way if it doesn't help. I feel like a fool. Go on. Mr. Tuttle! He thought you wanted to pass the time of day, I guess. Is there no way to stop him? He's a menace, Mary. Good old Murphy. You better scoot back to bed, Junior. Junior? You might as well dress. We'll have an early breakfast. Okay, Mom. Did you tell Junior he was going fishing with the boss and me? No, no. I merely supposed you were going to ask us. Oh, Mary, you know I can't do that. The boss doesn't want women along. The boss's wife goes, I noticed. Well, I can't help that. I'm a guest, and I know she drives in crazy when she goes. All I do is stay home, week in and week out. It's all right for you to go fishing, but Junior and I have to sit and wait alone. Wait till you decide to return. Mary, now, now, now, now you're getting upset. Take your hands off me. Huh? Unhand that woman, hand it on, but I shall thrash you with an inch of your life. Oh, shut up! Mom, eat your breakfast, dear. I was just trying to explain to your mother that being a guest to the boss on the fishing trip, I just couldn't invite my family. Go on. That was before I knew of the special plan your father had made. Oh, gee, he didn't have to choke you, did he? Choker? Sure, I heard Mom scream and tuttled you something about giving you a thrashing. You heard no such things. Oh, I'll get it. Sit still. Choker. Yes, Anderson? Who? JJ Tuttle? Well, uh, no, he doesn't live here. He almost lives here. Well, yes, I suppose I could call him to the phone. Well, all right, as long as it's urgent. Hold the phone. How anyone would know to call me here unless they knew they could get you here. Yes. Uh, hello. JJ Tuttle speaking. Oh, yes, yes, of course. Miss Rimkin. Oh, the position wire. I'm in the process of manufacture right at this moment, and it may be a day or so before we go on the market with blister fix. Quickly, listen to him, Junior. Go on and eat. Uh, excuse me a moment, my dear. I can't seem to hear you. There's so much confounded noise here. Anderson, would you stop talking a moment, please? Me? Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. And don't you get impatient, my little cornflower? JJ is a man of his word. Yes, yes, I'll contact you as soon as the position is open. Goodbye. Go ahead, Junior. It's all right to eat again, I guess. I am frightfully sorry romance calls so early. Romance? Oh, yes, romance Rimkin, my new secretary when my product hits the market. Blister fix for tired feet. Blister fix. Ah, yes. Those that strive for success generally succeed if the result of long and tedious study by my brother, Joaquin Calendar Tuttle M.D. PHY. And D.T. Why, look, there's a fortune in that small bottle there, Mr. Anderson. Look at it. Ah, is this the stuff? Why, yes, it's the dollar size. No label on it? Well, no, not as yet. But Homer mentioned something about your being sort of a designer of trademarks. Oh, you mean stuff like a foot with a wing on it? Yes, yes, that's it. Splendid, splendid. Suppose you take this bottle to work with you and fit a label to it. Okay, yes, leave it here. And a million thanks to you, Mrs. Anderson, for your kindness in calling me to the phone. Oh, well, I didn't mind it. And when the orders pour in for blister fix for tired feet, I shall reward you handsomely. Maybe I could work for you during vacation. A splendid idea, Junior. You're a fine young man, and when I start my radio campaign, blister fix will be on every limb. I thought it was for the feet. Oh, feet. How little do you realize, Mr. Anderson, that you're observing the humble beginnings of a million-dollar corporation. Then I shall retire and write me memoirs. That I want to read. It should make Marco Polo seem like a cub scout. Well, anyhow, thanks again, Mrs. Anderson. Oh, why don't I just call you Mary? Hey, but wait a minute. Well, that's what the maesters call me. Where are you going, Oliver? Over to see Homer about his fishing tackle and maybe relax a few minutes. Oh, come on in, Oliver. Hey, how'd you know I was out here? Martha told me. Well, what have you done now? Why don't you straighten up and fly right? And you could live in the house instead of out here in the garage. Well, you don't know what I'm up again, Oliver. Well, what happened? Happened, oh, nothing much. A tattle of me drew up papers to manufacture and distribute blister fix for tired feet. And a tattle mixed up a batch in the kitchen. In the kitchen? Yep, yep, guess the fire got too hot. Anyway, it blew up, had too much coal oil in it. So Martha set me pajamas and slippers out in the porch and I followed them. Oh, I see. Martha's holding up progress, huh? Yep, yep, Martha's a good woman, but she's kind of difficult, Oliver, yeah. Well, what kind of a deal do you have with this tattle fella? Well, I handle the manufacturer and he handles the sales end. So you're the manufacturing end, huh? Yep, yep, you better sit down over on my cot there. I've got to put bottles on that chair. Bottles? Yep, blister fix. Mixing the batch right now on stove. You've got to keep stirring it or it'll blow up. Well, look, all right. What I wanted to see about was this. How about using your fishing tie for tomorrow, Homer? Oh, I guess you can, Oliver. I'll be too busy to go. Well, it's sort of a private deal anyway. Oliver, I always like you. When this money comes up pouring in, you can have all my fishing stuff for free. Oh, no. I wouldn't give it away, Homer, if I were you. No, no, you can have it. After 32 years of having it tough, I decided me and Martha you could enjoy ourselves the rest of your life. I see. Yep. You better stir that stuff. Stir it. Oh, yep, yep, yep. Glad you reminded me. Yeah. Hard to make Martha understand that you're doing all this for her, Homer. Well, if I can hardly boss around much when there ain't no money coming in, you know. Martha's crazy about you, Homer. You can see that. You can. That's real love, Homer. Yeah. Worth all these pin-up gals all put together like these pictures you have pinned up here on the wall. Well, of course, I ain't strayed kind, Oliver. Oh. Of course, I like to be popular with the gals, but in a sort of indirect and quiet way, kind of masterful like, you know, but not shown it. Yeah. Be a tragedy if you and Martha parted now. You think she's figuring on it, Oliver? Well, not how she didn't say. She's a strong personality. She is, huh? Yeah, but you're the strongest of the two. I am, huh? That's right. Is that good? Perfect. You better stir that goop. Stir it. Oh, yep, yep. Yep. Glad you reminded me. That fire's pretty high, too, isn't it? Yeah, gotta keep it head up or it'll congeal, so Tuttle says. Gee, I'll bet Martha'll be happy with all the money. Yep, she can just span and span till she's just plum-tuckered out. Ah, that's fine. I've often wondered how Martha would look dressed up for once. Yep, so why? I mean, we had it tough, Oliver, but through it all, I've been through to her. Well, when things are tough, that's the only thing you can do, Homer. Yep, yep. I remember when Martha and me was first married. It was the closest to ever come to strain. I'd like to hear about it sometime, Homer, but I have to run now. Oh, you do hear. I kind of thought you'd like to hear what happened. I know what happened. You're still with Martha. Yep, yep. But, oh boy, it was close, Oliver. Close, huh? Yeah, it was at the New York Cafe there, at the home in North Platon. Me and a couple of the boys stopped in to eat something, and they had a new waitress on the front table. Opal was her name. Opal. Well, you better stir that stuff. Uh, yep, yep. It's as plain as if it had happened yesterday. I just finished the soup, and I saw her filter behind me, kind of, and she reached over to pick up the soup plate and the soft fragrance of her hair brushed again with cheese. Oh, Oliver, I'm telling you, when she leaned over and whispered in the air, something just came over me. Whispered in your ear, huh? Yep. What'd she say? Say? Yeah. Oh, me. Oh, I don't think I'll tell you, Oliver. I'm kind of ashamed of you. Oh, come on. What'd she say? Oh, shucks. You won't tell nobody. Not a soul. Okey-dokey. I'll tell you. You better stir that goop again. Stir. Oh, yep, yep, yep. In a minute. Well, sir, she sort of leaned over, and she put her lips against my ear, and I saw the recoils like. Recoil toward her. Yeah. No, no, no, no, I didn't, Oliver. No, sir, she kind of looked around, sly-like, to see if anyone was listening. Yeah. And I felt her lips moving, and she said, bub, don't look now, but your garter's hanging over your shoe. Oh, me. Sentiment and everything. Hey, Homer. Yep, well, sir. Oh, me, I had goose pimples all over me. Yeah, I bet. Yep, that's what I did. Well, sir, I often thought, how easy it would have been for me to have felt kind of thankful like. Thankful? Yes, sir. Thankfulness leading to admiration. Admiration leaning to love. Love leading to marriage. Marriage leading to jail. Leading to jail. Hey, by Jupiter, you're right, Oliver. That would have been, what do they call it? Bigamy. Yes, sir. So anyhow, you see what would have happened. Sure. You'd have ended up owning the New York Cafe. Ended up owning the New York Cafe. Hey, say that's right. Deg-nabbit, yeah. Oh, look, look. I have to leave, Homer. See you tonight. Well, uh, good-bye, Oliver. And tell Marthe the fish and stuff is under the back porch there. Okay, Homer. I'll save you a few fish. Oh, boy. You're sure an optimist. If you'll catch them, I couldn't cook them out here. To the Anderson family. Oliver Anderson is supposed to go fishing with his boss in the morning, but the boss's wife is going to go with them, much to the disgust of the boss and Oliver alike. Oliver has the fishing tackle, which he borrowed from Homer Meister, the neighbor next door, and is now busily engaged in creating a design for a label. When the door opens, and his boss walks into the office. Doodling Anderson. Huh? Oh, oh, oh, Mr. Townsend. I, uh, know I'm working on a little design for a bottle. A bottle? Let's see the bottle. Oh, you wouldn't be interested in this bottle. How would you know I wouldn't? Let's see it. Okay. Ooh. Rather small to take fishing. It's for tired feet. A remedy cooked up by a neighbor. It's called blister fix. Oh, something new, huh? Well, it seems like a good foot remedy should sell. Does he have distribution on it yet? I don't know. I'm just fixing a label for it. Some sort of an old formula, I understand. Is he looking for a little capital to put it over? He's always looking for capital. You know, Anderson, that was one of the things I wanted to discuss with you on our fishing trip tomorrow. Yes, I'd like to add a new item or two to our list. Well, I guess a foot remedy should sell to girls in department stores and places like that. Hi, Henry. I believe I'll look into this, Anderson. Sounds good. But mind if I take this bottle with me? I'd kind of like to test it out. If it's good for tired feet, this man is a deal. Well, go ahead. Take it. My feet don't bother me. It's not my feet that get tired down here. Oh, by the way, I wish there was some easy way to brush off the Mrs. tomorrow. Yeah, it's almost broken up in my home, too. Well, doggone it, Anderson. Fishing isn't the place for women, especially with men along. Well, I wouldn't mind it so much if the women would just sit still in the boat and roll. Oh, I'd just give anything if you could work out a plan to keep my wife from going. Well, I'm going home in a few minutes to get my fishing tackle and stuff ready. I might think of something, sir. If so, I'll call you. I'm depending on you, Anderson, so don't fail me. Is that you, Junior? Hi, Mom. Where have you been, dear? I've been working. You see, look at all the money I made. $9, Mom. $9? Well, how did you do that? Well, only half of it's mine. I sold nine bottles of blister fix for tired feet. Mr. Tuttle told me he'd give me 50 cents on each bottle. Oh, for heaven's sakes. Who bought them? Oh, just the neighbors. I guess everybody had tired feet. Oh. Gee, those nine bottles went like hotcakes, Mom. Well, I didn't know Mr. Tuttle asked you to sell blister fix. Oh, well, he wanted to surprise you. He told me just what to say, and I said it. Told you what to say? Sure, you have to have a pitch to sell anything. Pitch? Yeah, that's what Mr. Tuttle calls it a pitch. Like this, Mom. Pardon me, Madam. I have here a little item just for you. It's something that no home should be without. Good for man, woman, and child. Here's any foot trouble immediately. The price, Madam, for this priceless little item is not $5, not $4, not $3, not $2, but only one small dollar. Oh, June, no. Yeah? You didn't sell Martha Meister a bottle. Oh, I should say not. Mr. Tuttle told me to sell on the next street, not too close around here. Mr. Chappan's wife bought a bottle for him. Oh, well, that's nice. I sold all the bottles by noon. Gee, I hope he lets me sell some more. Well, you wash your hands and face, Junior. I'll see who's calling. Excuse me, Mrs. Anderson, but I noticed Junior just came home. Why, yes, he did, Mr. Tuttle. Come in. I, uh, I hope you don't mind giving Junior the opportunity of making a few dollars, Mrs. Anderson. Well, he seems to have taken well to your instructions. He sold the nine bottles. He did? The whole nine of them? Splendid. Excellent. Uh, where is he now? Junior, Mr. Tuttle wants to see you. Okay, Mom. I had no idea the blister fix would sell so well, but I guess Junior is very adept at selling, like his father. But I'm afraid Junior's too young for such responsibility, Mr. Tuttle. Tish-tush. Nonsense. He's a very bright boy. Oh, Mr. Tuttle, I sold all nine bottles. So you did, and I shall reward you handsomely, my boy. Let me have the nine dollars, and I'll give you two of them for your very own. Just think, two whole dollars. Two? My understanding was 50 cents a bottle. And the way I figure, I owe you 450. 450? Was that our arrangement? My, I have so many things to think of. I'll give you a receipt for the 450. You still have it. Oh, sure. Here. One, two, three, four, and 50 cents. Oh, splendid. Was everyone satisfied? I guess so. Shouldn't they be satisfied, Mr. Tuttle? Well, the truth is, Mrs. Anderson, I made a slight miscalculation and added a bit more turpentine than the formula called for. It was the deluxe formula. Oh. For mining men. That is, it's a bit stronger than the normal solution. Oh, my goodness. Well, I wouldn't want Junior to get into any trouble. Oh, tush-tush. Nothing can hurt anything. It's perfectly harmless. Well, now I'd better run on. I have another batch on the stove, and Homer forgets to stir it now and then. We've put Wenders in the garage twice today. Yes, I heard the reports. Well, possibly I'll have a bit more bottled in case Junior wants to try again tomorrow. Maybe we should wait and see how the nine turn out. As you wish, Mrs. Anderson, and a good day to you. Goodbye. There's a fellow you have to watch, Mom. He's fast on making change. Right, Junior, what a way to talk. Anderson's residence. Oh, yes. Of course, how are you, Mrs. Chapman? Yes, Junior said you bought a bottle of Blister Fix from him. Now, wait a minute, Mrs. Chapman. Be careful of your language. He was only selling it for another party. What? Blistered Mr. Chapman's feet? Oh, I'm so sorry. I say I'm sorry. I'll have Junior give you the money back. Yes, I know it won't give Mr. Chapman his feet back. I... Hello? Hello? Wasn't Mrs. Chapman satisfied, Mom? Junior, you give every one of those people their money back before anything else happens. It burned Mr. Chapman's feet something terrible. Oh, gee, Mom, I didn't know. Don't be so humorous. Oh, now, look, honey, I've had a lot of miseries all day. I want to hear one kind word. No, I'm sorry, Oliver, but I'm still in a very disagreeable mood. I guess it's my fault, Pop. Now what? Junior's met with a bit of sales resistance. It looks as though we'll hear more about it. I don't get it. Well, Junior sold nine bottles of Blister Fix. And so far, we've heard from one customer. Yeah? Well, when you buy something, you're stuck with it. That's the sales slogan today. Let them sing for the money if they buy without knowing what it is. But it blisters the feet, Oliver. It's terrible. Uh, you see who it is, Mary. I think I know who it is. You go. Oh, okay. I'm not afraid to buy them. I didn't sell it. Anderson? Oh, it's Chapman, the plumber. What's on your mind? Blister Fix. And it's on my feet, too. It didn't work out, huh? No, but I'm going to work out on somebody's kisser, Pop. Now, wait a minute, brother. Junior might have sold it to you, but he didn't make it. Oh, no. Who did? Now, go next door to the meisters. Straight back to the garage and ask for Mr. Tuttle. First, I want my dollar back. Dollar? Yeah. Well, sure, you're entitled to that, pal. And if my feet ain't in condition to work tomorrow, it's going to run higher than a dollar. Now, here. Here's the dollar. You'll make all your future collections direct from the manufacturing. Yeah, that's this Tuttle. Right. Now, I'll help you down the steps and you're on your own. Gee, Mary, I just thought of something. I gave a bottle of that Blister Fix to the boss. Oh, no. How could you be that stupid? Don't answer that. Well, I guess, starting tomorrow morning, I'll be working on a two-week notice. You see, Mary, that's what a person gets, listening to other people. Oh, no. Not Chapman back again. Okay, if he wants trouble, I'll see what can be done about it. Okay, bud, I'm sick of your pan of... Anderson, have you gone berserk? Oh, oh, excuse me, boss. Gee, I thought you were someone else, but I see now you have a clean shirt on. Huh? Well, step in, won't you? No, I just stopped to tell you that everything's set for tomorrow. No women on the trip. You mean your wife's not going? Going. She can't even... She can't even walk. Can't walk? What's wrong? I took that bottle of Blister Fix stuff home and she wanted to use it. Got blisters as big as a dollar on each foot. Oh, brother, I didn't know it was that strong. That strong? She's going to be happy if the nails don't fall off of her toes. Well, I feel pretty sad about that. No, no, no, just forget it was an accident. Well, meet me at fifth and plummet six in the morning. Looks like it's going to be a big day, Anderson. Good night. Six it is. Good night, boss. Just the boss said his wife wasn't going tomorrow. Oh, she isn't, but I guess that licks me. Gosh, honey, it looks that way. Well, I only wanted to go for Junior's sake. Well, where is he? Probably hiding in the basement. He knows Chapman. Oh, yeah, Chapman. Uh-oh. And he thinks Mr. Chapman is again returned. Yes. Well, I mean, that's all right. Doesn't scare me one bit. Oh, back, eh? Yeah, buddy, I'm back. Well, okay, start something. Start something? Are you kidding? A guy don't go poking his friends in the nose, does he? Friends? You say friends? I mean, uh, didn't you see Tuttle? Yeah, I sure did. I told him I'm suing him for a thousand bucks. Suing him for a th- Yeah? Yeah. He saw that I meant it, so we got together. Wait a minute. You mean he gave you a thousand dollars? Tuttle? Well, not exactly. You see, we worked it out better than that. We, uh, we talked a few minutes and ended up with my owning one-third interest in the blister fix company. You see, he's seen I had him. Oh, yeah, yeah, you had him. Third interest, eh, for a thousand? Well, no, not exactly. You see, I only had three hundred dollars on me, so, uh, he made me a deal. One-third interest for thirteen hundred bucks. And you gave him three hundred dollars? That's right. Like he says, Tuttle, it is. Well, like he says, you gotta grab opportunity while it's going by. And brother, does that guy have personality? Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. Did Chapman get taken for a ride? Oliver Anderson, you know that if Mr. Chapman loses his money in that blister fix deal, he's gonna blame you. You'll have trouble with him again. Now look, Mary, I've had enough trouble today. And furthermore, I think you and your boss cooked up a scheme to keep us women and junior from going fishing with you. Now look here! Uh-oh, here we go again, folks. The Anderson family is written by Howard Swart, directed by Herb Lytton, and features Dick Lane as Oliver, Louise Arthur as Mary, Walter Tetley as Junior, and Herbert Rollinsen as Homer. Also in the cast were Paul Theodore as the boss, Doug Young as Mr. Tuttle, and Jacqueline DeWitt. Music by Gordon Kibbe, sound effects by Ray Erlenborn, and your announcer is Ken Peters. The Anderson family is a Hollywood broadcaster's production, transcribed from Hollywood.