 Hey, so my name is Steve Maida. You guys have seen me hosting and presenting in this event, but I am here from a website called thesexuallife.com. If you're not familiar with me, I suggest you get familiar with me, we'll get familiar. In this time span, I want to say a few things here. I'm going to give two speeches, and this is part one of two. There's another one coming up on Sunday. And this one is on sexuality and life, and that one is going to be on fighting and life. Two very different things, and they're going to hit the same outcome, all right? So seduction for me is a pretty, pretty big thing. It's my freaking life. I've been teaching in the industry in all sorts of ways for a long time. You know, we can go into that or whatever. But the main thing is, is it is a source of life freedom and all these things that could be love, lust, it could be crazy sex, and it could be a, you know, beautiful, simple relationship type stuff. Relationships are never simple, right? But then also fighting and life is another thing, which could be something which sounds like really aggressive, really violent, really angry. But both are going to come to two, or to one main thing. Two things are going to come into this one thing of fitting into ways to live. I was talking with a few people about some fighting stuff over the lunch break, but both will align with principles that I call spiritual principles to live by. Things like acceptance, things like open-mindedness, things like honesty, and things like to make your life better. One thing that I'd like to tell you guys about the sexual life and what we do is we are dedicated to a few, few very, very important things. And that would be number one is authenticity. It's a word like seduction that's thrown around a lot. We hear about authenticity, we hear about seduction, we get sold on it, we have like, you know, how to be the authentic man. This is what it means. It means that you are yourself. There is no compensation with that. There's no dedication to a facade. I have no facade. Also that with the sexual life is that there's no ranking, so even though a lot of the stuff is something that I founded, something that I created, anybody that I work with, anybody that works with me who hires us at the sexual life is unequal, all right? It sounds kind of weird. It sounds kind of like weird anarchy and all that sort of stuff, but it's very, very important. The reason for that is because I respect sexuality, all right, and I respect what seduction is. And it is a beautiful, beautiful thing. It's a communication and an exchange between two people. That I am a fan of. I do not dictate it. I might have had some experience with it. I might have had a lot. I'm sure people have had more, but it's something that I appreciate in an order for me to be able to receive it in this moment and be able to connect with each and every one of you in this room. And for anybody listening, you know, or watching this online, in order to get that message to feel it, I need to respect that I'm a part of this world. I'm a part of this world. We're all equal. We all have the capability to change, to experience, and great, great things. Another thing is what's important about when I speak. And I speak all over whether it's for this stuff, dating, relationships, life, all that sort of stuff, or it's in prisons or rehabs and kind of talking about different stuff. And I'll get more into my story when we talk in the next couple of days, Sunday, about the fighting in life is I have one goal. And of course, I wish it was for you to buy all my stuff and make me rich, but my one goal is really this. It is so that you know that one, we're all the same and that we can all communicate and experience and be a part of this human experience. This human experience, which I call life, which is awesome, which is amazing that every day and without getting too into it, I mean, we are an orchestration. We're a machine that somehow came together with like matter and dust and all the sort of stuff that can allow me to think and experience and feel and engage. And that when I think about things, I actually will get into this that I'm grateful about and that I want to experience and when I get in the moment and actually live that sexual life because sex is one of those things that will put you in the moment and in your true self, when I can get into that, it amazes me that hundreds, maybe thousands of times throughout the day that I'll come up with a reason to have a bad day, that I'll come up with a reason that my life sucks or that I'll engage in, you know, anger or self-pity and all those things. And let me just, we'll probably get into this when we start fielding questions and whatnot and I'm sorry, Anthony and Mary Lee, that I do like audience interaction. So I'll probably get the microphone a little bit earlier than most people, but one of the things is, is all emotions are good. But when we hold on to them and define our lives with them, we limit that and we'll get more into that, I can go on and on about it. So that's a few things here. Now let me tell you another few things. I love engaging with people and this is my, I know I have my phone on here and it's kind of weird and all that sort of stuff, but I never rehearse any speeches, right? And like, if you guys have seen me speak or if you watch like the many 21 convention speeches, it's like I kind of have a little bit of an outline that I think about and I have a lot of experience teaching that it's no problem for me to fall into a lesson plan and all that sort of stuff. And it's not any disrespect to you guys, but it's just kind of like my weird nature of organic, whatever, and I can make all these excuses. But I emailed my list today about what I want to speak about. And one thing that's really important is when I'm talking about the sexual life, the guys who are either a part of my programs or the people that are engaged who kind of like follow my stuff on Facebook, which is kind of crazy, or stuff on my email list or my material, there's a real clear message that's brought to it, you know, that it's very different. And it's all the stuff that I had said, but it's really a pursuit of living your best life, really no compensation of that. There's none. If you are sacrificing yourself out of fear of rejection or, and we actually heard a lot, this is really cool because we heard a lot about this today, fear of rejection we're compensating ourselves or we're compensating ourselves for love of adoration and we can't live in balance, then I'm against it. We don't promote it, we don't live that way. What the sexual life does is teaches you how to live in a way that's organic, that's you 100% of the time, if you're having a bad day, you can exist in it. If you're having a good day, you can exist in it. But there's no high or low, we live in balance. So I email these guys and I'm like, man, I emailed them late last night, I woke up this morning, checked my email and I'm like, shit, this is some pretty powerful stuff. Some from like previous convention attendees. I just want to kind of like go over this because this will, I was like, man, what should I talk about? Mitch from Florida, who all of you guys know, he said, I might cut this off because it's a little bit rude, maybe, he's like, one of the things that sets TSL apart from the others is sexual fulfillment. He's like so much materials about strategy, technique, et cetera, it's about getting sex with a woman, but nothing about enjoying sex, experiencing that woman or enjoying the exchange and sharing of human connection. Listening to your podcast, reading TSL articles and experiencing with my girlfriend, I know what it is to live the sexual life. If any of you guys know who Mitch is, this guy is better than any pickup artist who I know at least. I mean, the guy is like, has such a level with sex and sexuality, he knows me from speaking at conventions and he told me a couple of months ago, he's like, man, your stuff has started to make sense. One thing is I came from a group of pickup artists which was very, very aggressive. The term SNL comes from us, comes from basically three people who are working together with Dallas, myself, Captain Jack, and Sin. You know, we coined ourselves as getting laid, like that did not exist. And the thing is, I know that's like some weird pickup history, but the deal is that that was a big part of my story, you know, to find that balance in life. Because I always enjoyed sex. I always thought it was a good thing. I always thought it was something that was great, but my, what was wanting it inside of me needed to be cleaned up and so that's why I'm like, really, really kind of passionate about the sexual life. This dude, Diego, who is a part of my programs, he said, I thought, I thought the sexual life, I never thought the sexual life was a way of living. Whoops. Now, now that's different for me. What it means to me now is not about sex at all, it's about everything else. I reeducated myself and others to look at their unique rays of light, so poetic, and that come deep from their individuality and that comes from me expressing my individuality. Diego's a guy that actually was a part of our last TSL online program. TSL stands for the Sexual Life Online. He was a part of that. He was second place. We give away prizes. The grand prize is a free trip around the world for 10 days with me. These guys like invested like 300 bucks in it, so it's a pretty good deal. Diego was second place and he gets a week long one on one with me. That guy got 18 sexual encounters, or 18 lays in three months. It's fucking crazy. And that was second place. First place guy, I won't read off because I think it's quite boring. All right, let's get into this. I wanted to speak about a few things. This is going to all tie in to kind of what goes on Friday. I wrote an article kind of recently and this has been on my mind in a big way because a big part of my journey in being a part of the 21 convention, going around speaking, traveling, experiencing, and being a sexual person absolutely has to do with finding happiness, finding peace within myself. And in fact, if I call it happiness, it's the wrong thing because it's finding true existence with what I am today. Sadly, in a weird way, how I found that was through sex. How I found that was through being intimate with other women. And let me just explain here. In like 2006, 2007, we'd have all these lay competitions. And, you know, I'd win some of them and kind of became a famous pickup artist, right? And, you know, we'd write about them online. And if you ask people who are watching, how's this for like a proud moment? Most people talk about like a touchdown they made in high school or something, but no. I won a lay competition. But the thing is we type online and everybody would be watching it was like this worldwide kind of like mania happening, you know, that we'd all be writing about. And for me, like I said, I knew I liked sex. I love the moment of sex. The moment of sex when men, especially are having sex, men can feel emotion. Men can open up. Men can find and touch different parts of themselves which are huge. I mean, sex is a powerful form of communication. And if you're not being yourself and you don't know how to be truly authentic, how I define it, then you're going to be communicating an intense level with a fucked up part of yourself, all right? And I love that, but there was this contradiction, you know, where I had good moments, but I didn't know how to have relationships. I had good moments, but I didn't know how to manage my life. And the thing is, is one of the things that I believe especially also when it comes to seduction and it comes to fighting is that I look at life as the example. And life is in constant motion. It's always moving. So what I came up with for my guys, and mainly I came up with it because I wanted to do it myself, was I said, look guys, we're teaching this course. We're going to do what we call the TSL daily maintenance, all right? And there are five things that we do to kind of achieve balance. These are literally five things that you can do every day. They're super fucking simple, super simple that will allow you to get in a good mindset, to be yourself. They're going to help with things like creativity. They're going to help with things like direction in life, clarity, focus, but at the same time, you know what? They might tap into a part of you that's kind of confused. They might tap into a part of you that's kind of angry. They might tap into a part of you that you may not like, but they are the road map to stabilize those things. All right, number one we're going to get into is daily meditation. Daily med, we'll kind of do that just because daily meds sound like something else, man. But daily meditation, number two is giving. And I'm just going to leave these up here and I kind of want this to revolve around what we're talking about today, number two or number three, if only I could count, is be social. Number four, be sexual. Oh yeah, oh yeah. How do I do that every day? Fuck man, internet porn is just too, that's the cheat. And the last one, and this one we recently changed, gratitude and purpose. All right, so check this out. I really wanted to get to a place where I wanted to stabilize the things and there's a lot of work that I do on myself and this is actually a real important thing. For guys that I work with, I don't tell them to do anything I haven't done, all right? I do it myself. I do this with my guys. I probably post, well, maybe not more on our forum than anybody about the TSL Five dailies, but for me, it's really, really, really important to do these. Daily meditation, what the hell is that? For years, years, years, man, I've been around so many people who spoke or I've worked with like high level entrepreneurs. I've worked with people that are, you know, just brilliant people, whether they, you know, some enormously wealthy and intelligent people or people who were just happy, you know? There's my buddy, Paul, who is kind of like one of the wealthier guys I know and he started a search engine like Google years ago, sold it. He has huge, huge businesses and multiple businesses that have like 70 employees a piece. He's just a real, real tycoon type of guy. Paul told me he's 40 something, upper 40s. He told me in his early 30s, lost all his money and this is actually typical of a lot of entrepreneurs. So if you're an entrepreneur and you've felt this, he lost all his money, got divorced, he wanted to kill himself and I remember him telling me, he's like, you know, but I wasn't really serious. And I'm like, no, man, it's totally cool, man. And the more you hear about my story, it's like, no, dude, I've totally been there, man. I might think about suicide very often at certain times in my life just because of the stuff that goes on inside me. But he said, man, what I did was I joined the Zen Center in San Francisco and I just dropped everything and started to do that. And this was years ago, he told me. He said, every morning I would meditate and I credit that with the most important thing to me becoming a successful man, a successful businessman, a successful man. I also know, you know, my buddy Doc, man, or my buddy Dave, these are guys who had crazy, crazy lives where literally, I remember one of them telling me, he said, every morning, he used to wake up and just go, man, I don't want to die, I don't want to kill myself by leaving a needle in my arm, I don't mind if I kill myself by my own hand but I don't want to fucking do it that way. He said, I did that for five years, you know, and I just want to be happy. These are some of the wisest people I know. Again, they would tell me daily meditation. You know, if you see these guys now, I mean, it sounds like kind of an intense thing, but you see them now, they're like these southern wise men that I just love talking to. I wish I would have them on my podcast, but they're like, they say conflicts with the spiritual message of what they have to say. But daily meditation, I don't tell you how to do that, we exchange ideas on how to do that. What I do is simply this, and actually meditation was very hard for me at different times because my mind was spinning and spinning and spinning all the time, and actually I would only go into state through sexual experiences. It was really crazy, man. See, true story. You know, I would go out in the field and try and get laid and do all this hyper, like, and sexuality is low energy, man, you know, it's mellow energy, and it's, hyper energy is social energy, and they kind of conflict with each other. But the thing is, is I would go out in the field and do all this crazy stuff just so I could experience that point of, you know, some awareness and maybe belief in something that was bigger than me. And, you know, hey, I guess thank God for it, but it took me a long time to be able to do this. And I remember my buddy Justin, he was actually an attendee who helped me out a lot at one of the 21 conventions in 2008, he said, man, just try and not think for five minutes a day if a thought comes in, you know, try and just acknowledge it and it'll pass. Fuck, man, I couldn't do that shit. It was too hard for me. And so I experimented with different things, different breathing things. I talked to guys who are a part of our group and they do a whole bunch of different stuff. It could be walking your dog. It could be taking some time to yourself. It could be washing dishes in the sink. It could be talking to another human being for years. I considered my form of daily meditation and spiritual interaction just talking to one human being because I truly believe that one human being talking to another is enough to move a man. There's enough to change somebody to make them feel something good. Yeah, I'm a pretty stubborn guy, maybe not as stubborn as Anthony Johnson, but it was human, that social dynamic was something that allowed me to calm and change and find the better parts of myself. So your morning meditation or daily meditation can be anything, but at some point throughout the day, reset, get back to it in our minds and how our world works and whatever it is. Because it's our culture, because it's our consumption, because it's our wants or whatever, it's because you got some abuse growing up or you got some crazy, crazy stuff. Who knows? You're going to make every excuse in the world why you don't need to calm down, sit down and think. Calm down, sit down and think. It'll take you five minutes and it'll help you reset. And it'll put you maybe not in the best place. Maybe you might lose some money. Maybe you might lose some momentum on something that you're working on, a creative project, a deadline, but it will put you in the place that you need to be where you're going to actually ultimately function best. You need to have faith in that. Giving, this is an interesting thing. There's few people in the seduction industry that I absolutely think are the shit. And I try and talk to them as much as possible. One is Jason Savage. And I remember seeing him speak as he was rehearsing his 2011 21 convention speech, which you should all watch. It's 2010, that's right. It's the one convention I missed that I had to cancel out of. It's in Sweden. It's an amazing speech. But I remember when he was rehearsing for it, he would do it for us all in Austin and talk about it. I remember emailing Anthony saying it was going to be the shit and it was. It's truly probably the best speech that's ever been given here, so check it out. But he said one of the things that sex and socialization is, it's about giving. It's about sharing. And in fact, in that speech, he said there's two types of personalities that get women. There's ones that are dominant and cold and taking and aggressive and can be manipulative and all this sort of stuff. And there's one that's warm and giving and that's also very dominant and confident and all that sort of stuff. And everybody wants to look at the differences. Our program or mindsets for efficiency want to look at the differences and we can't make it work. But one of the things Savage said when he went through his little triangle of social seduction sexual is that he said you got to look at the similarities. These guys are dominant. These guys are confident. When we can work on being dominant, confident, we can start integrating these other aspects of seduction. The exchange, the experience between two people where man and woman become equals, where man and woman become one. You know, there's no true dominance in that. The man is only dominant so the woman can be dominant. The woman's only dominant so the man can. It's an exchange. It's just they speak kind of different languages. You know, it's like a plug going into a socket. How's that for crude, huh? But giving is an amazing thing, you know? And so what I tell people is it's not about donations. I know people who donate a lot of money and they're miserable people. I know people that, you know, give superficially and all that sort of stuff. But what I'm talking about here is intentional human interaction. It could be opening the door for somebody. It could be giving a bunch of money away. It could be doing somebody a favor. But it's that one thing that is going to put you in that moment of humanity, all right? And that will give you that belief and that ability to have that human interaction. And in fact, it will give you that aspect of being social. All right. We hear social all the time but every day, once a day, maybe 10 times a day, I want you to be social. That doesn't mean you go up and open a chick and talk to her and try and get her to do something. It means you go up to somebody, anybody. It doesn't matter who they are, what they are, what type of value they have and you interact like a human being, all right? True story, when 2008, 2008 going through some major changes in my life, major changes. That was like at the, you know, the height of my sexual activity in the pickup industry. There's a lot of chaos happening. I did the 21 convention. A lot of crazy stuff happening. And I talked to my buddy, Justin, he said, man, I had to go shoot an infield video. And these guys had done this infield thing with me before and they were like really assholes. They're like, you can't do it like us. Like go open that, you know, so and so could do that. And I'm just like, oh, shit, man, chill out. I was really scatterbrained. There were a lot of changes that I knew I needed to make. That's one thing that sex will have you do. It'll confront different parts of you that kind of resonate, how you need to evolve and all that sort of stuff. But he goes, look, why don't you just be honest with people? Why don't you just connect with people? It's like you've got social skills good enough to make that work. So if you're having a bad day, if you think that you're like a horrible person and stuck in self pity and can never get better, you go and find somebody and tell that to them. And I literally, I mean, this is true story, man. I mean, I guess I'm kind of crazy or whatever, but I literally went up to people and did that. I'd be in San Diego or I'd be teaching workshops. You know, and you've heard other people speak today of like you got to approach and you got to approach and all this stuff when you're teaching, which I kind of have a different take on. You got to be social, all right, and you got to be sexual. You don't need to approach. If you're defining social dynamics by approaches, you're missing the whole point of it. But the thing is I would actually go up to people and say, look, man, I'm having a real bad day and like these people, just listen to me, just listen to me. And it was like sheer desperation. But what happened there was you would think like in PUA terms they're like, that's low value. That's supplicating. No, man, what happened was eventually I saw people who really cared. You know, we're like, hey, well, what's going on? What do you, like, okay, you know, all I can do is talk to you, but I think, and it really showed me that there was a beauty in being social. I'm not saying that you guys have to work out of desperation. You know, desperation, if we're only working in that direction, it cultivates reactions. And we don't want reactions. We don't want highs and lows. We want a constant. We want calm and deliberate energies, you know, seductive energy actually communicating through. But being social means to me today is to talk to somebody, ask somebody how they're doing, care about it, bond with a man, or a part of the adventure of man. You know, if we want to have the best physical health, the best business mind, the best, you know, social dynamics, yet not partake in the beautiful experience of all of us interacting, you know, that's how economy works. That's how sexuality works. That's how all that stuff works. You know, we've got to be a part of that. The next thing is be sexual. Everybody's like, what the fuck, man? You know, okay, so obviously if you have a girlfriend, that's cool, but even then, you know, that may not be the right outlet to experience what I mean by being sexual. Being sexual means an exchange. And it's an intimate exchange. It's an exchange with deeper parts of ourselves, you know, that have to do with our sexuality. If you're a heterosexual male, and I think, well, there's probably like four or five of you in here tonight, but anyway, you know, then we should probably be doing this to women that we're attracted to, you know? We should be approaching women that we're attracted to. We should be men that can approach women and not rely solely on a technique. I got no problems with techniques. Every single technique that is discussed in the PUA world, I'm kind of cool with. The motive behind it is where there might be a problem. But that technique's ultimate goal is to get for your self-expression and never forget that. That's the main idea. But we go up to somebody and we should be able to go up and simply say, hey, look, you know, I'm attracted to you. What else more is there to you, you know? A few key things when it comes to being sexual, you know, we go through principles of sexuality. Principles of sexuality might be showing intent. It might be, or we were talking and it's showing intent. It might be relaxing that intent. It might be eliciting that intent. It might be escalating beyond the intent that she gives us. There's all sorts of different dynamics and principles and functions that come into sex and sexuality. All we want to do is be the man that presents that. True seduction happens with a choice between two people. In fact, another great thing, like I said, there's few people that I respect, but Jason Savage and Hypnotica, Eric Vonsita, great, great dudes will always say that seduction is a woman's game, you know? And I say it too. But I really actually got it from them. It's a woman's game. It's based on her choice, you know? And I was explaining this to a client of mine and he like wasn't getting it, which is fine. You know, it might be kind of a hard concept or whatever. But I was like, look, man, you can go and talk to like a girl that might not be all that attractive. At first you're going like, shit, you know? She's not my type. But then she starts liking stuff about you. And she's all interested in you. And she's going like, man, Steve, you're like so interesting about, well, tell me more about, man, I want you. Or she's somehow showing that. That feels fucking good. And then I was telling him, he has a bit of experience with this, and I was like, let's say you get a really attractive hooker and she's playing the game with you and she's like, oh, man, she's rubbing your chest and she's getting your dick hard and all that sort of stuff. And he's like, oh, fuck. And she's like, no, I'll make you feel so good. And then as soon as you have sex, you realize she doesn't care about you. That exchange dies, right? That's not being sexual. You know, so what we want to do as men is we want to look for that exchange where we can both pair and equally go. Yeah, sometimes we have to be dominant. Sometimes we have to lay it down. Sometimes we have to be aggressive. But at the same time, you always have to realize that you are serving, you know, this beautiful experience, man, of us being social and being sexual. The last thing I think is actually the most important and one of the, well, for me, right? Because everybody's is different. And again, with any of these, I don't tell people how to do them. You need to find your own way to do them. But the last thing, gratitude and purpose, things that we live in deficit of, again, other words that are thrown around, but like all things, they're kind of simple. For me, I heard this for freaking years and resisted it. Make a gratitude list at the end of the night. It's like, oh, what's that going to do? It's kind of like morning meditation. What the fuck's that going to do, man? You know, I got shit to do. I'm important, right? You know, I'm doing all this stuff. Well, fuck, I like, you know, half meditated while having sex with that person. I was grateful, you know, and talked about it. But for me, when I actually sat down, and this is, this is a really crazy thing. It never occurred to me, never occurred to me. How simple it would be. I'd be thinking about all this grateful stuff in my head. And then when I actually wrote it down, it was always like, I'm grateful that I have enough food. Like a month or two ago, my computer got stolen. Actually, before, like I worked with some people who are like junkies and stuff, and I've done my fair share of drugs, and one of my best friends, man, it sucks. Two days before I flew out here, she called me up late at night, and I was with my girlfriend. And she's like, man, she's a heroin addict. And I've done my fair share of heroin. I know that it's a crazy drug, man. It's not easy to, shit stays in your head in a big way. And she was like, man, you know, can we talk? It's really crazy times. My boyfriend's out of town. It's Thanksgiving. Nobody's here, yada, yada, yada. I'm like, man, I actually can't. You know, I'm joking around with her. I'm like, ah, but whatever. You know, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. You know, and then she texted me the next day. She's like, hey, don't come into my work because we were supposed to go eat. She's like, man, I got loaded last night. It's one of the saddest fucking things, man, because what that shit happens, and this is why I really value the human experience and the message of seduction, the message that I promote, because if somebody gives a message of just kind of like, hey, I'll help you out with somebody like that, they fucking die, man. And I see a lot of my friends go through that stuff. And it's terrible, man. But how that comes into gratitude and to purpose is that there'll be times where we're at bad days, man. And I'm grateful about the simplest things. One of the things I was gonna bring up was the other day I was sitting at a cafe, typing away, went outside to talk to one of my buddies, being social and being sexual, and my computer got stolen. And shit, like that never happened to Austin at the cafe. They said that hadn't happened in six years. And when that stuff used to happen to me, I used to like get so mad at myself and fucking hate myself and whatever. And actually they were like, your computer really isn't stolen, right? You're just joking. Why aren't you freaking out? I'm like, no, no, look, it really did get stolen. You want me to be mad? It did get fucking stolen with all my material on. Anyway, but I remember that day I went back and I wrote and it was like, man, I'm happy, like I have a backup computer. I have a roof over my head. There's many days where I went without, having enough money in my account, I had money in my account, I had people in my life and I had people that cared for me. And that was one of the most important things to write down. May not seem like a big deal when we think we're big deals, but I don't know. You get obsessed with what you want and you get away from being happy with what you have. And then the other thing is, is purpose. We think about this stuff. Maybe our purpose is money. There's nothing wrong with any purpose that you have. It's just that you honor your life with it. Your purpose might be talking to other people. Your purpose might be spreading the message of the sexual life. In fact, that's not my purpose. My purpose is trying to be the best expression of myself that I can be right now, all right? I get away from that. Decisions happen. I get a headache. I stub my toe. Somebody says something nice to me and I go, oh man, I'm great. But I get away from what that purpose is and I gotta look at what that is at the end of every day and see how am I living that. And it's just the simple awareness of those things that help me out. That to me is probably one of the best and most important exercises that I've done. Like I said, man, I've had a lot of, everybody has bad days, man. Everybody. The problem is, is years ago, months ago, whatever it was, is I thought that those bad days had to be a part of my identity. It was funny. I'm gonna actually open up in probably about 10 minutes for questions because I really like interacting with people. That's really how I teach. I mean, it's kind of like why come up here and present and just share my ideas when I can't share with you guys. I mean, you guys are right here. But one thing that I wanna say is, how is it the convention in London, man? And I got there, it sucks because I love interacting with everybody. I like talking to people. But I showed up there on Sunday and I was like the last speaker. There were like two speakers before I showed up. And I got rushed by all these dudes and they were like, man. We've heard all this theory stuff. And ideals. And we wanna hear some technique. And I'm like, all right, all right. That's pretty much what we talked about. But sadly, the cameraman who's at all these conventions is probably one of my very good friend of mine, Mike G. He actually spoke at that convention and he talked to me before the speech. And I said, man, I really think I wanna talk about all this really spiritual stuff that I went through and not like religious stuff. And he's like, dude, please do it. Please do it. These guys need to hear the evolution of it. We need to take the convention in different directions. He's like going on and on about all this crazy stuff. And he's like, man, it would help him so much. And I kinda backed out of it. But one of the things that I'd like to tell you is, I've probably had one of the craziest years of my life. And one of the most simple years of my life. And every year there's always crazy stuff. And like I said, it's all in our head. You know, I'm a father. I got out of a very long relationship that I had with somebody. There's been all sorts of, you know, just life problems and social problems that we have in terms of relationships. And one of the best things that ever happened to me was coming to a realization. I've always been somebody that promoted identity. But the identity of who I am and working on myself and really examining who I was as a person through these actions, right? And they're really, really important and they're important vehicles through sex. And I remember there was one time I was meditating. In fact, I don't do any drugs or anything like that. And it's like a real clear line for me. Like if I drank like seven Red Bulls, I might even like be like, man, you know what? Am I using this or is it using me? But, you know, and even with sex, you know, it can get like out of control. So I really wanna kinda keep a balance of, you know, limit the obsession with things outside of myself to fix myself, basically. And I was there and I was meditating about all this stuff. And I was like, man, you know what? I really wanna do like, I volcano or a Boga, which is like this hallucinogen. And I actually think hallucinogens are great. I just don't do them. And I'm like, man, it would be so cool. And I get all these realizations about myself. I can't hit these points with meditation and all this crazy shit happened in this week. And I ended up meditating in the steep state and maybe face to face, we'll get to what actually happened. I remember sitting there thinking, I was like, Mike, this is what I wanna talk about at this convention. There are like four main things of like insights that I have that really implement the message that I've had and that have allowed me an opportunity to not have the same like anger, the fear, the guilt, the shame, all that sort of stuff in my life. And don't get me wrong, I have those feelings. It's just they don't attach themselves to my everyday actions of things that don't have that. But it was like, look, number one, you've got to stop your self-pity. Or that was like the voice in my head. You've got to stop your defects. You've got to stop your self-obsession. And these are actually actions that will help you with that. I freaking guarantee you, man. Start making gratitude lists. You started doing morning meditation. Shit'll change your life, man. But yeah, I'm talking about like all this like PC spiritual stuff, man, this motherfucking stuff. But true story, man, we gotta hear the message in some way, right? But anyway, so it was number one, stop the self-pity. Stop the self-doubt. And I'm like, man, I'm angry in this moment. All this crazy shit had happened. And the voice in my head was telling me. It was like, no, no, no, no. Just stop. Trust me on this. Stop. And so I started to stop. And it was like, well, why is this happening? Why is this happening? And then this, it was, you know, myself talking to me in this like kind of deep state. And it was like, look, because it's spiritual contradiction. Yeah, you help people. Yeah, you give. Yeah, like, yeah, you do all this stuff. You give your time. You work with people. You are always doing volunteer work. Your job is working with guys constantly online. Yeah, that's your purpose. But you also do all this other stuff, you know? And it's contradicting itself. And your thing is like, you kind of lie to yourself about it. You know, you still say you're a good person. If you wanna go like steal a candy bar or do a iffy business transaction, you need to be okay with it and be honest with yourself before you try and convince yourself that it's good or bad. You know, because anytime you talk yourself into something or out of something, you're buying into an illusion. You're buying into that fear. Once again, the sexual life is not about compensating yourself for fear of bad shit or wanting good shit to happen to you because both are accessing fear. So I was like, all right, and you can kind of flash through a bunch of scenes and I'm like, all right, okay, spiritual contradiction. And then I'm like, well, what about, you know, why can't I be fucking pissed off right now? And it starts saying, well, look, life. This is one of the big things, you know, sexual life and the 2011 England speech, I broke it down, check it out. But life is kind of like the template for all things. And it's like, man, in life everything gets fucked up. You're gonna have emotions, you're gonna feel bad. You might break your arm or whatever life still goes on. You know, a plant when it grows, it tears, it sells apart and comes back together, all this sort of stuff. And you can be in pain, you can be mad, you can be pissed off, you can be sad when a chick rejects you. You can be angry when you get burned. You can be happy when, you know, you find a $5 bill on the ground, you know? But the main thing is, is when you start thinking that that's other parts of your life, you're not living in reality. So because I get a bunch of lays, because I score a big business deal, because I give a speech that everybody likes, or because I give a speech that everybody doesn't like, because of whatever, right? You know, I start thinking that two hours from now is good or bad. Man, that's not me being in the moment. We wanna be human beings, we're supposed to be human beings, but at the same time, we can't get caught up in the illusion of that. We need to get back to balance, right? We need to work towards it through this stuff. Then the fourth thing was, is that the universe is the universe. You get in the way of it, it's gonna have its way with you. You know, you can't change stuff. I could dictate that, and this is all like me speaking to me, right? This is, you're listening to a speech from a guy about having conversations with himself, all right? But didn't, like many writers did that. Anyway, so the thing is, is that I was like, man, I have got to realize that life, or whatever, shit-making stuff work, I'm not, I wouldn't necessarily call myself an atheist, but pretty much agnostic, that life is gonna happen in any way, shape, or form. It's gonna happen. I have a bad day, my computer gets stolen, my fucking, one of my good friends relapses on smack. You know, that's life. The only thing that I can do to truly live life is be in the spot where I'm supposed to be, and dedicate myself to being my best person at the right time. It's the only thing I can do. And fucked up shit happens, man. And this is actually one of the best things about my life. I actually wanna write an article about the five things that changed my life. One being diet that came from this. One being social and sexual, which came from this career that I've carved my way through. But one of them also is fighting, man. Shit, man. You know, martial arts without fighting or combat, not saying that people should go get in a fight and please watch the speech, because that's not what I'm saying, is like sex without seduction. Sex without seduction is pickup, you know? It's attention-getting stuff. But it was one of those things that put me in that reality. I was talking about it with a guy who studies jiu-jitsu, which is an awesome thing to do. But we were talking about it and how humble it makes you. Every time you think you're a badass, every time you think you're something that you're not, you'll be brought back to balance. And that balance comes through submission. It doesn't come through submission because you're weaker. It doesn't come through submission because somebody kicked your ass, comes through submission so that you can open your mind and let go. And that you can go on and be the best person you can be. Learn the jiu-jitsu that is you. You know, learn to flow like how you are. Learn to be who you can be in that action. You know, life is always moving, constant motion. Let's actually do this. What I wanna do is open up questions for you guys. You can ask whatever question you want. My life is an open book. You know, if I get a bit afraid, I'll tell you. But also about these things, I think they're pretty goddamn important. And that being said, where is the microphone? Andrew has it. Cool. If you have questions, let's start dialoging, man. The quicker we do it, the better we do it. And the quicker it goes. So stick your hand up. He'll give you the microphone and we'll talk. Let me get some water. With daily meditation. Yeah. You're saying, well, what would be the best form of daily meditation? It's whatever. Okay, so I don't wanna be like a representative on meditation because I'm truly not, man. I've just done like, I've done a lot of mushrooms and acid, but actually in this form, you know what's weird? This is a true story. When I was a kid, I used to, man, when I was a kid there wasn't a self-help section. So I'm 35 and I used to go to these bookstores that just had like, it was like different stuff, you know, Easter or other religions section. And it had stuff on like Henry Lorraine, or Harry Lorraine's memory power to Shakti Gawans, creative visualizations to Alan Watts's stuff, which is some of the most badass shit on Zen Buddhism. And I got to meditate as a kid. You know, when I was like eight years old, I could meditate and like really get into it. But see life, I had no experience. And so I was still angry and still like didn't get certain things. When I got older and gained some experience, I would always try and go back to those times of meditation, you know, for whatever reasons, because I wanted to be like Bruce Lee or because I knew there was some spiritual component to it. And I couldn't get in state or whatever you wanna call it. I couldn't get there. I became too impatient with it. And what I do now, man, is really simple stuff. I'll take a walk, really slow, you know? There's actually one of the best things. This is what's so cool about my programs, man, is my guys who've been through the programs, make lessons that get taught to the next programs that go through and even get paid for it and all this sort of stuff. We're like organic, confused stuff. This guy made a meditation program, you know, using like hypnosis or whatever. Actually he calls it meditation, but it's really cool. You know, it's actually one of the meditations that I do and it's a visualization thing that you do and all that sort of stuff. But a lot of times it might just be taking a walk. It might be sitting down and breathing. A lot of times since I've been in Melbourne has just been taking it easy. Before I start the day, I'm working while I'm here, so I'm working with a guy. And before we start, I say, hey man, give me five minutes, just to clear my head. And I just sit there and try and think about stuff. Sometimes it might be an act of writing. So it's whatever you wanna do. I'm not here to tell you, and this is how a principle works, I'm not here to tell you how to be you, you know? I'm here to offer some ideas that I believe will help you and guys that I work with believe help them. And we kind of exchange different ideas of how to do that. But the goal of meditation of where you should get, which is kind of the main idea to think about is this. Clear your mind, get in touch with yourself. You know, so you can clear your mind and you're not pushed by reactions. A lot of reactive thinking or internal emotions which will pollute, it's kind of like rehab talk, but it's good talk, everybody should do it, that will pollute anything that comes in your mind will be guilt, shame, fear, anger. Those are all things that you can feel, and I'm not saying they're bad, but if you don't take care of those four things which are really, really important, you know, and they're reactive emotions too. So they're dependent, you know, in certain cultures they don't have them, right? They're dependent on what other people think of us and how we think of ourselves. You know, it's our self perception of what other people think of us. If we don't take care of those things, it's gonna infect whatever shit comes through us or put its own filter on it in some weird way. Actually, we've heard a lot of guys talk about that, you know, but just kind of in their own way of saying it, but they're literally saying the same thing. If you can calm your mind so that you detach from that guilt, shame, fear, or anger, it'll help you kind of like get in the present moment of what I believe, who you really are in this moment. Whatever that is, man. I even tell people, it's kind of, well, whatever. Take a walk, you can walk a dog, you can, if that's getting in an argument, you know, there's no rules. If that's going and sparring with somebody, if that is sitting and taking the best shit of your life every morning, then I mean, I'm not always the most regular person, but I try. But yeah. What I wanna ask then is the end game on your chemical response, like releasing endorphins? So, yeah, yeah, I don't speak in that language, but I'm not against that. So I don't speak in that language. The reason why is because I've done myself, so this is totally, totally from myself. I'm kind of like a fucked up person, man. If I do things which get into balance, you know, yet I'm still putting shit in my life, you know, whether that's behavioral or stuff in my body. Like I was just talking to Mary Lee at breakfast. Wow, it's been, that's the last, no, that isn't the last time I ate. We were talking about eating sugar. I cut sugar out of my diet, and I eat a little bit now, but when I cut it out, I realized how fucked up it made me. So, sugar in my body right now, and that could even be like an narcotic or drug. But anyway, those things in my life, right, are gonna change how I feel. They're also the equivalent to bad behavior, which is up for you to determine. But if I get a great chemical balance of my life, which I've done through meditation, and start infecting it with a bunch of shit, it's not gonna mean anything, you know. So I need the first principle, if we were to talk about principles that link to fighting and seduction, is abstinence of bad behavior. And then the second one is surrender. You can surrender all you want, you can do good deeds all you want, you can be grateful all you want, but if you do not abstain from shit, which is fucking you up, it's pointless. And that's an ever going process. Remember, there's no real end-to-end goal in this. The end goal is death, as long as we're alive, we're always moving. What else we got? This is cool, I got a question about meditation. Normally it's like, okay, so how do I open with that, man? It's fucking cool, I dig it, man, I dig it. Quinn, what's up? So from everything you just said then, what happens when you left with things of temptation? Yeah, you can either, you have the choice. What is seduction, man? Seduction is a power, man. Seduction is the template for life. Or there's so many things, man. Seduction is this fucking awesome thing, but it's tempting, do we misuse it? Man, I mean, there are plenty of times, I want to sit here and say there's plenty of pussy that I can choose from, not the case. But there's plenty of times where I've had opportunities to have sex with people that I may not have wanted to. And I dove into temptation or whatever the fuck it is. And believe me, I believe if you want to have sex, have sex, like totally do it. Just know that it's like this intense form of communication. But do it and realize if you like it and be wise enough to determine if it's an experience that you want, all right? The problem is, see, I'm not saying like, Steve would never tell. Here I am talking to the third person. How did you love that? That's like the most unclassy bullshit way to say, God, I'm terrible, I hate myself. Now, but the thing is, is that I'm never gonna tell you not to take action. I always think people should take action. I think people should experience, man. I totally think they should. So when it comes to things that you want, go for them. But know that in the long run, analyze yourself afterwards. You know, perfect example for myself is a pickup artist in the seduction business, whatever you want to call it. Get lays, get lays, brag about it. To all my friends, I'm the shit. It's fucking awesome. Let me tell you, I did it. I bet you there's endorphins that make you do that, you know? But the thing is, is I'm obsessing and thinking about, you know, this end result, and not my purpose. And if you get into the whole sexual life thing, you know, there's facade, identity, experience versus actions, purpose versus results. If I get obsessed with the results, it fucks me up. So you can experience whatever you want, dive into whatever temptation, get a big sale. I'm awesome, no, it has nothing to do with it, man. It has nothing to do with it. Is it empowering my purpose? And when I can detach from that, then I can start making the decisions. For instance, let's say you, Quinn, I step on your toes because I'm tempted, you do something that is bad, right? You do something that I don't like, that I interpret as bad. And I do something fucked up, whether that's embarrassed you, try and physically hurt you, insult you, do some passive aggressive thing like slash your tires. Red, red car. So, but do something like that. And all of a sudden, I'm in that moment, right? And I realize through other people talking to me or whatever, I realize it's wrong. I go, okay, it's wrong. If I get caught up in the guilt, the fucked upness, whatever, yeah, it's illegal. And I have to deal with the legal ramifications of that. I might not want to. But as a man, as a human being, as I would say as a sexual being, I need to be able to make right on a personal level and a be social level and say, hey, look dude, what can I do to make that better? And then I can bring things back to balance, okay? So that's giving into temptation of anger or whatever, or frustration in doing something. There's no real like scale to weigh, yeah, the law has it, but in a personal level of my growth, which I'm in my body all the time, hopefully, unless I'm like Shirley McLean or something. But nobody got that. But anyway, the thing is, is like I have to be responsible for myself. Yeah, there might be a separate thing where everybody might shun me and become unpopular and yada yada, but that doesn't have to do with it. It has to do with how I deal with me. And again, this is actually interesting. To quote a conversation I had with Ross Jeffries, he said, seduction is this intimate experience where everybody's naked and you're a naked man. And when you're a naked man, you don't know how to be a man, you're a naked boy and you start acting like a boy because you don't know how to handle a naked woman. It was like, wow, fuck, God, brilliant, all right. I can listen to you now. Anyway, cool? Yeah, all right, this man, will I sip on some water? Thanks, Steve. Yes, sir. Great speech. I was meant to take notes, but I got to engage. Yeah. So that's my bad. Yeah. My questions in regard to how important has your diet been in expressing the best? You know, it's weird because like, man, it's so black and white. Like, I'm so not a black and white person. And like, I'm always like, it can be brought into this theoretical whining. No, man, my diet, it was just like, cut out the flour and the sugar. And okay, so I've been, 2009, they started talking about paleo stuff at this convention and I've been pretty involved, right? And I knew like, you know, interacting with these guys and whatever. And I'm like, but fuck that, you know, I'm gonna win eating competitions, which is true, man. But it was a long time ago. I actually won an eating competition in Texas, in Waco, man. But this was like nine years ago. But I'm like, no, man, I'm gonna eat and da, da, da, da. And it changed everything. Okay, so one of the biggest changes that I noticed, and again, it's so black and white. Actually, I'll tell you too, is the first one was when I cut that stuff out, and I remember it, man. I did an interview with Keith Norris, did a podcast with him and I'm like, man, I got really sick, so I started juicing. And he's like, well, you know, juicing, you know, you can do it, but try cutting out the flour and sugar. And my diet was actually kind of tight, but every night I'd eat like maybe a slice of pizza and I was working out like a motherfucker, man. Like biking 40 miles a day and then doing two hours of jujitsu and then like two hours of kickboxing and shit. And like once or twice a week I would do that, but it was just like crazy, man. I was going through so many calories, so I'm like, but I crave these things. And anyway, I cut it out after that and immediately like wait, I couldn't lose. So I mean, that active, right? That active and weighed about 180 pounds. Funny story, when I got laid the most in pickup, I was very close to 200 pounds. So I was about 180 pounds. Maybe if I like starved myself, I'd be like 175 in the morning. As soon as I cut that out, it was just like within weeks. And everybody's different and I don't wanna say that this diet works for everybody. And I think that's kind of the anthem of like, what I hear from a lot of real paleo guys that I respect is that do what works for you and I don't follow an absolute paleo diet at this point. I do the Steve Maeda diet and you can all buy it for $19.95. But the thing is is that I cut that out. First thing I noticed, I could sit and write and not have anxiety, huge thing. It actually couldn't meditate for years and all of a sudden can start to find some clarity. Unbelievable. So then at the 21 convention in August in Austin, I saw a couple things. So I got really healthy, man. Everything in my life changed, man. I had more energy now I'm 35, so I would need more sleep. And I couldn't sustain energy for like 10 hours. Like I could when I was like 22 or something and drink a whole bunch and fucking like eat, you know, candy and fried chicken. But it was like, basically I, I just had more energy when I had it. Now I heard a couple people speak and I had high blood pressure all my life, like from the time I was a kid. I'm like, this hasn't changed. You know, I truly do not want to be on medication because it dulls my, like I don't care. For me personally, you know, this isn't sending a message not to take your medication, but I just felt that it had too much of a side effect and I wanted options and I wanted to try them. So Doug McGuff, and it was really cool. He talked to me, you know, at length after giving a speech, or maybe before Dave Asprey, bullet proof executive told me a few things to try. And Doug actually emailed Exchange back and forth as I gave him the readings. So cut out the fruit, cut out like all sugar. I'm like, really? Yeah, okay, so I'll try it. The thing was I actually got really, I got down to 150. Okay, so really small and it was actually kind of cool, but I just couldn't sustain energy as much anymore and I don't want to say that I was doing it right or wrong, but I was like, all right, I can't take this anymore. And there were some changes, but the biggest change with the whole blood pressure thing was like rest, not working out so hard and sleep. And to be honest, like if I do one thing off, it will like probably right now it's quite high just because I've had so much stress, but I ate a cupcake for my birthday. Dude, fucked me up. Fucked me up. I ate a cupcake, man, which has a shitload of sugar, but because I'm not used to it, you realize like, oh, Jesus, okay, why am I thinking about this? Like I'm gonna cross the street. This is a true story, man. I was in Dallas, I eat this thing and I'm like crossing the street and I'm like, okay, I need to sit down. No, I can't sit down. Like, why am I crossing the street? Yeah, I'm just start running about all this anxiety, but the worst part is the next day. I'm just like depressed and I'm like, man, why the fuck do I dislike everything? What's going on? Why does this suck, man? Fuck these people. Who are these people and fuck them? You know what, why am I doing this? And it just starts accessing all this stuff and it's good actually when you kick up emotions because it shows what you need to work on. But it took me a while to click. I'm like, man, I wonder if it had to do with that cupcake, so of course like an awesome person. I wait a week, cut all that shit out, eat another, well, don't eat a cupcake, but eat like some sugar and the same thing. So those are two real like big signs to me that it changed a lot of my mental capabilities. Again, a chemical thing, so it's a big deal and how I think and how I feel. And in my programs, like to win those awards, which is like a free trip, it's not just like, the reason why the guy who got 18 lays in three months didn't win is because it's improved the most in your social and sexual life, your health, your mentality and your personal goals. And whoever achieves the most in that, that's what we're going for. And again, mentality, it's like, I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I need to see it in your posts and your interactions and all that sort of stuff. And actually, I don't even vote on it, it's my alumni votes on it. So, cool? Yeah. Thanks Steve, that was great. Sure. How do you feel that your ideals changed as you got older and got like deeper into your kind of like pick up and self-help career? Good question, it's actually something I always like to bounce off of Anthony because he's like a very idealistic person. And I don't directly ask him this, my ideals almost never change. Like I always have them, like I've always, even in teaching this. So there were like times in 2006 where I just flat out lied to chicks, man. It was like, you know, I don't have kids, like, and I like came into relationships with them and had to end them because I was just so full of shit. And then it's like my ideals changed to be like, all right, let's be really honest. And then experience and experience and experience allowed for more ability to be honest and especially intimate situations because that's the toughest thing in the world. We don't really know how to do it. And I feel that it's not that it's just culture that doesn't show us, but we're born not knowing. So experience is supposed to show us, you know? So it's not that my ideals, they do change and there are beliefs that do transfer and transform and all that sort of stuff and evolve, but it's really my behavior and kind of like my reception of those experiences, you know? Like I was getting angry, I was getting like resentful and shit the other day and I was in, the goal is not to be perfect, man, because that would mean you're not alive, which might be a good thing. You know, we'll see, I'll let you know. But the thing is is that the, I was feeling kind of resentful and pissed off and I'm like, why am I? What am I attached to that's keeping me from being able to be free, you know? From being able to exist. And it's tough, it's a tough thing. I do a lot of writing on that and like inventory and a lot of it comes out in this, but some of it also comes out with writing about just why I'm mad. Why I'm mad, what part of it's affecting me? You know, is it affecting like my emotions? What am I afraid of? Because usually if I'm mad about something it's that overall I'm really afraid to be rejected or afraid of being alone or something like that and that fear and not being able to look at it, you know, keeps me from looking at my part and it keeps me from looking at the deeper parts that it's affecting me. Yeah, I like that. Again, great speech, man. I just want to add to it. I've been doing for the last month like getting up and doing questions that focus on gratitude and doing a bit of meditation and how it increases your baseline state day to day. Things that come your way. So you get rejected a couple of times and you're out off night and usually go into a spiral and beat yourself up a bit. You can walk away, refresh yourself a bit and your baseline state picks you up a bit. So that's pretty, that's cool, something I noticed. But another question was, how did your views on, because, okay, a lot of me and my friends were raised in a curry traditional culture, conservative culture. Right, so it was like, get married, you're gonna get arranged, all that shit. And then basically in the last couple of years, we've done 180 and my parents knew what we were doing. Shit themselves. I don't know. So then, so moving forward, say, I was in a three-year relationship a couple of years ago. Got into pickup stuff, that's the beginning of this year, in a relationship now for about four months. And again, getting a bit bored again. Right. And thinking about, or if I keep, I can maybe break up in the next couple of months or whatever, get back, be single, go into polygamy again. So what did your views on polygamy versus monogamy? How did that change? Like multiple wives? Multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple girlfriends. Holly Emery. Multiple girlfriends, yeah, yeah, yeah. Holly Emery is like fucked up, but polygamy, let me tell you. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never been married, but yeah. Versus like marriage and monogamy, which I was thinking about having like my 30s. Dude, you're, okay, so there's a couple things. Number one, culture is a big deal. It influences us. However old you are is how much it influenced you. And still influences you, and it's part of you. And you gotta love it and embrace it and all that sort of stuff to see what's there. You know, my culture, whatever that they say, Americans have no culture, and it's kind of true. But you know, I did grow up with certain beliefs and certain ideas and things that I liked and disliked and thought were myself and whatever, and peeling through that is kind of like a confusing and contradicting process, but you need experience to do it. And there's some tools like this to help you. Now, that, there's no easy answer to you. You just gotta figure it out. Your culture is a part of you. Number one thing is you gotta accept it and own it, all right? That this is who I am and this is where I'm starting. All right? And not denying it. I hate that. There's this guy actually. This is a little bit separate culture, but he's Punjabi and he teaches pickup and he showed me his fucking driver's license. I should have, this will show you some anger. Should have just fucking kicked his ass and, God. I was just like, what are you saying to these people? He's like, this is me. You know, look at me. Before I moved to LA and he's like, I wore this stupid shit and I had beard and now I'm filmmaker and actor and people and I'm like, dude, you're not, any of those things you say you are and like you're just telling these people that you threw away your culture. You know, it's a fucking live of a Hollywood ideal that has no proof of happiness to it. I mean like, you listen to what you're saying, you know? This is why you need to be fought. You know, this is what I'm saying. Anyway, but the thing is is your college is gonna be a part of you and own it, man. You know, and then once you own it, you can start to separate what's you and it's a process, man, it's tough and that's where you're gonna find your real self and that's what my constant work with myself is doing. But the other thing is, is the reactions of sex and the ideals of sex. There are no rules to sexuality, man. You know, there might be a dude who's like an extremely sexual person, like defines a sexual life. I meet this dude, in fact, there's a guy, Fred. He's the wheelchair Yoda, man. He's an awesome dude. He's like, ah, life is great. And I'm like, you're in a fucking wheelchair. He's like, yeah, ever since my wife got murdered and I learned to let go of things, it was great. But I mean, I'm like, what, Fred? Really? But no, true story, man. The guy's just so enlightened. But the deal is, and I would actually talk to him about sexuality and he's like, I don't need a woman. I don't need a woman. Maybe when I was young, dumb and full of cum, dah, dah, dah, I'd be all over it and that's awesome. But dude, you know, I don't need that. I don't need that to complete myself. I'm happy and I'm a sexual person. You know what that means, Stephen? You go on and on about all this stuff. But it's for you to define. The key to this is, and what I say is like, look at your identity, all right? Look at who you are and look at the facade. Facades are good. They're not bad. But when that facade creates your identity, you're being full of shit. You're being like that guy who, you know, shaves off his beard and says he's a good person now because he's buying into a facade. You know, he's not looking at what's really him and there needs to be a compensation of those things. And also you need to look at the experience versus action, systems and methods. When you go like, all right, I'm looking at the action, the system and method. All right, polyamory, polygamy, good stuff. And the Mormons do it right, man. They do it good. They do it better. Well, I'm not even gonna get into it. All right, but you look at systems, right? You go like, all right, open relationships. You know, being in a relationship, that's a system. You gotta look in the experience. What the problem lies in that four months I'm kind of bored. I'm not gonna tell you what's right or wrong with that, but I guarantee you the answer is in the experience that you have with her, rather than the system that's facilitating it. And then the system can really shed light on it. And then the other thing too is, don't look at the results. I'm bored, happy. Is this serving my purpose? You know, my life, fuck. I wish you guys were all like worshiping me right now. I wish you guys were all going like, oh my God, fuck, and I could see it on your faces. Like, but is that serving my purpose? That's a result, man. You know, so I need to go like, all right, I'll have faith in my purpose. I'll have faith on. So you're like trial and error, experience, and then be introspective. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the road's just gonna come through whatever experience you have. What's up? We have one more, Anthony? Okay, one more, and then I gotta send a special message. Anthony! Hello, sir. What's up? Thank you for sharing, loving it so far. My question is, what if just like James shared before, someone starts out real late, what would be your advice about being social and being sexual? By real late, I mean, you know, early 40s. Man. Yeah, I almost don't understand that question, man. Because you're always alive, man. Okay, so this is another thing. Like let's look at life as the answer. Like life is always moving. Life never can anything be so fucked up. You have to have faith in life, man. You have to have faith that it's gonna do shit that you won't imagine. We can look at cellular structure. We can look at the human body. We can look at how plants grow. We can look at how animals mate and there's consistent behavior. But not even the evolution. That life that exists within that specific thing you cannot predict. And that life, no matter how fucked up it gets can totally change. And your fucked upness, what you're saying is your age. That's not true, man. Man, I've had so many times and it's weird. I wanna talk about this more in the next speech that has to do with like the more violent aspect and angry aspect and those things because those are all good things. We just don't look at them in those ways and kind of combat stuff helped me through that. And I don't wanna make myself as like some sort of badass but I used to really align myself with somebody who had fucked up shit in my life. But now it's not a part of my identity, man. I don't have the stuff which holds onto that. So the one thing that I'd say to you is life is always going to be there. You need to have faith that that can kind of take over. And you know, older person, let me tell you, you got like many advantages. Number one, you show up, let's get back some technical like social dynamic stuff. Number one, by showing up and talking to a girl in a social way, it's almost automatically sexual. She has her friends to hang out with. She has her friends to play with. She has her friends to have fun with. You talking to her, you might be randomly and even like, you might even take all the intent out of it but your intent has an easier leverage because it's almost there when you show up. Also, you have experience, you know, which maybe you don't have experience and I'm not asking you to fake it with anybody but your experience is assumed and you have experience with life. You also have stability. Remember, sexual energy is calm. One of my good friends is Eric Everard, he's a porn star. In fact, I learned more from porn people about sex and like your different ways of treating it than any fucking tantra motherfucker or like pick up people but like Eric and even my friend Anthony. It's very interesting is they would tell me that like, look, sex is more like, when we're having sex, we're athletes, we're professionals and we're fucking but there's like 10, 15% of like fucking, 75% of actual sex. So sexual energy is mellow. It's always meant to be mellow. The other stuff is social and facilitating and cultivating reactions, whether that's opening and being direct or doing something, that's cultivating reaction, man. I wanna get to a deep emotional part. In fact, one of the things that I say for guys living their social and sexual lives, you should get to an emotional root or something that can be seduced which is emotion and sex itself within two to five minutes. Should happen. I mean, it's just general, any guys who have skilled women know that. I think I gotta wrap it up now but let me just say this. With that, thank you very much. Good time.