 J-T-L-L-O! The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with On the Road to Pismo Beach. No, ladies and gentlemen, once Jello has become a favorite dessert in any family, it usually stays a family favorite from then on. Every day we get letters from folks telling us how they've been enjoying Jello for years and enjoying it more and more all the time. And there's a reason for this too. Jello is just so downright delightful that once you try it, no other dessert ever seems quite so gay and beguiling, quite so rich in rare tantalizing flavors as Jello. And another reason why Jello is such a year after year favorite in most homes is because it can be served in so many different ways, using Jello's six delicious flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. Incidentally, if you haven't tried strawberry and raspberry Jello recently, do so real soon. Both are now better than ever with a new improved flavor obtained by using a natural flavor base artificially enhanced. And the result is something mighty distinctive, a truly unique goodness. Why not enjoy a grand dessert made with bright tempting Jello tomorrow? The orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to announce that last Monday, a great and well-deserved honor was bestowed upon our illustrious master of ceremony. Oh, Don, do you have to tell everything? For many years now, the outstanding stars of Hollywood have been selected to inscribe their footprints in the forecourt of Grumman's Chinese theater as a tribute to their supreme artistry. Don, please, I'm so flustered. So without further ado, I bring you the latest celebrity to achieve this great distinction, Jack Benny. Thank you, thank you. Jello again, this is Jack Benny talking, and Don, your introduction was awfully sweet, but I wish you hadn't brought this subject up. Might make people think I'm hammy. Well, Jack, it was a grand tribute, and I feel that our listeners should know about it. True, Don, but it makes me feel so darn uncomfortable. Now, I really didn't want you to mention the honor accorded me at Grumman's Chinese last Monday at 2 p.m. before a crowd estimated by the police at over 3,000. I mean, it happened, it's over. Now, let's forget it. But Jack, there isn't the slightest reason. Now, now, Don, there must be other things to talk about. So let's change the subject, shall we? Now, just a minute, Jack, there isn't the slightest reason why you should be embarrassed over this wonderful compliment. Well, maybe so, Don, but still... Mr. Grumman must have thought a lot of you to suggest adding your footprints to such a distinguished group. I know. Why, Jack, a great artist like you should realize... Hello, Mr. Benny. Hello, hello. What's that, Don? A great artist like me should what? How are you, Mr. Wilson? He's fine, he's fine. Sit down. I should realize what, Don? You should realize that... Oh, darn it, I forgot what I was going to say. Well, you had it on the tip of your tongue, concentrate. I should realize what? Now, let's see... Hiya, Jackson. Are you on the beam tonight? Quiet, Phil. Don was trying to think of something. I should realize what, Don? Oh, it slipped my mind, Jackson. We might just as well forget it. That's a fine how do you do? Don, we were talking about me putting my footprints in the cement in front of Grauman's Chinese theater. Oh, yeah, I read about that. You know, Jackson, this was a big week for the both of us. Now, what do you mean? Well, at night school, I received a great tribute. I got a gold star for spelling. Oh. Congratulations, Phil. That's terrific. That's well, Mr. Harris. Congratulations. Thanks. I think that gold star was footprints. So you're an honor student, they feel? Yeah. I was the only guy in the class that could spell Mississippi. Well, that's a toughie. Let's hear you spell it now. Okay. Hold my coat, Dennis. Spell it with your coat on. Go ahead, Mississippi. M-I-S-S-I-P-P-I. Very good. Now spell River. R-I-V-V-E-R. I knew it. I knew it. Phil, you can now take that gold star and paste it back on a Hennessy bottle. No kidding. You ought to quit. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. What are you talking about? Oh, nothing in particular. We're just fooling around. What's the matter? Didn't your writers prepare anything this week, either? You mean mink and schmink? Now, they said they needed a vacation so they went to Catalina Island to write the program. Did they send you any material? No, but this morning, I got a wire from them that said, have just pinned script on Seagull. Watch for it. Those guys are always going someplace. Remember the time you sent them out for hot tamale and they went to Mexico City? Do I? That tamale cost me $800 and it was ice cold when I got it. Oh, well, we'll manage. We did last week. Say, Dennis. Yes, please. How about a song? Okay. Say, Miss Livingston, did you hear about Mr. Benny at Gromans Chinese Theater? Hear about it. I was there. All right, Dennis. Let's have your song. Talk about laugh. Who's talking about laugh? Sing, Dennis. What happened, Mary? Well... I went to a matinee at the Chinese last Monday and they were fixing the sidewalk there. All right. They were fixing the sidewalk. And Mr. Gromans happened to be standing at the box office. Yeah? So Jack went up to him and said, Mr. Gromans, as long as you've got all this wet cement here, how about paying a tribute to my supreme artistry? Now, wait a minute. So Mr. Gromans said, what do you mean? And Jack said, you know, make with a footprint. He said that to me. Go ahead and sing, Dennis. Wait a minute now, Jackson. We want to hear that. What happened, Mary? So without waiting for an answer, Jack jumped into the wet cement and disappeared. Disappeared? Yeah, they were filling in a manhole. Well, it's still a wonderful tribute and I'm proud of it. Now, let's have your song, Dennis. Okay. Say, what's that in your ear, Mr. Benny? Cement. Now go ahead and sing. Mr. Gromans pays a little tribute to my supreme artistry and everybody's jealous. We'll present their version of that very... Hey, wait a minute, Jackson. I thought you said your writers didn't work this week. That seagull came in while Dennis was singing. The Benny Harlequins will present their version of that sensational Warner Brothers picture. That masterpiece of human emotion. That gripping melodrama of the sidewalks of New York. City for conquest. Thank you, Warner Brothers. In this epic, nice of them to come all the way from Burbank. Now, in this epic, I will play the part as portrayed by James Cagney on the screen. That of a rough and tough kid who fights his way through the slums and grows up to be a prize fighter. And Mary... Why, Jack, how can you play that part? You're not the Jimmy Cagney type. I'll handle it. Now, Mary... Imagine you playing a prize fighter. That's just silly. Oh, I'll do all right. Now, Mary... But, Jackson, you ain't tough enough to be Jimmy Cagney. It ain't believable. Well, I'll try it anyway. Now, Mary... Mr. Harris is right. You're not tough enough. Oh, yeah. Calm down. Why pick on Dennis? Oh, excitable I am. I guess I lost my head. Sorry, kid. Can I put my dukes down now? The game will be Danny. And, Mary, you're gonna be my girlfriend Peggy. You know the part Anne Sheridan played. And you're madly in love with me. Why can't I play Carol Lumbard's part? She wasn't in the picture. That's what I mean. Mary, you're either gonna be madly in love with me or infatuated with the May Company. Now, Phil... Phil, you're gonna be Eddie, my kid brother, a frail, artistic sort of fellow whose only interests are his books and his great love of music. Yeah? Yeah, you're high strung and delicate, Phil. And your forehead suggests deep intellect. Yeah, yeah. You grow up to be a great composer and finally conduct your own symphony at Carnegie Hall. At last, the part that fits me. Phil, it's just that we're stuck. That part fits you like a mail order suit made by a nearsighted tailor for a couple of other fellas. Now, Don... Yes, Jack? You have one of the most important parts in our play. You are the narrator and you symbolize the spirit of a great metropolis. In fact, Don, you are New York. You ought to take a little weight off his broncs. You said it. Now, this play, ladies and gentlemen, will go on immediately after a number by Phil Harris and his orchestra. Now, Phil, how about playing... I'll take it. Hello? Hello, Mr. Billy. This is Rochester. I'm sorry, Rochester. I'm busy. You're gonna be busy on that. I'm quitting. Whitting? What's the trouble now? It's about that mechanical man Mr. Billingsley made. You mean the robot? Yeah, he's breaking up everything in the house. You know that big grandfather's clock we got in the hall that runs so good? Yes. Well, Tempest has fused it for the last time. My goodness, that clock was very expensive. I tried to stop him, but he whammy right on top of the head. On top of the head, why, that robot is made of iron. Did he hurt you? I won't need collars no more. I told you before, there are buttons on that robot to control them. All you have to do is sneak up behind them and press the buttons. That's how I got my neck shortened. Now, Rochester... Just call me too. Now, Rochester, I don't want that mechanical man roaming around the house. Where is he now? He's in the kitchen and I think he's that way about the electric refrigerator. Yes, silly. No emotions or feelings. He hasn't even got a personality. He has now. He's wearing your two pegs. Rochester, this is no time for joking. I'll be home right after the program. Meanwhile, tell Mr. Billingsley to keep that robot in his own room. Okay. What was that? My neck just came out so long ago. I wish Mr. Billingsley would take a trip somewhere on his magic carpet. Sunset meaning they are playing right here on Sunset Boulevard and Vine meaning they are just clinging to their job. Ladies and gentlemen, for our sensational melodrama, City for Conquest. Ladies and gentlemen, it is New York. New York, the greatest metropolis in the world. Millions of people gasping for life and air, fighting, biting, clawing away for a place in the sun. New York. Gee, that's wonderful. And now we take you to the east side. The attic room shared by Danny the truck driver and his brother Eddie, the young musical genius. As the scene opens, Eddie with an inspired look on his delicate face is seated at his drum, composing his symphony of New York. Listen. Finish my symphony. Working this afternoon. Ah, me boss started an argument so I slugged him. And a couple of cops came along and I slugged them too. I slugged everybody. Oh, Danny, you're always fighting. Will you ever pick up good manners by yourself or do I have to learn you? It ain't no use, brother. I'm just naturally tough. How's your symphony coming along? Oh, I fear the masses will never like it. It's much too high, Brow. Let me hear what you've done so far. Will you, brother? Very well. I call my composition Manhattan, um, Al, um, uh, Aligory. Manhattan, Aligory. Let's hear it, brother. All right. I'll start with the parts you like, Danny. The part I call East River. With all its proud and passionate beauty. With all its shrieking jungle cries for life and some. Gee. And I carry on the theme until I've told a complete story of New York with its wealth and power and everlasting loveliness. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Let's, let's hear it, brother. Oh, that's beautiful. Beautiful. I can see it all. The Empire State Building. The tenements downtown with the laundry hanging out the window. Oh, boy. And there's Central Park in the moonlight. It's winter and the snow is falling. And there's the winter garden, dear. Holy smoke. Olson and Johnson are still there. A cowbell for. Well, that symbolizes the burning of New York. You know, when Mrs. O'Leary's cow kicked over the land. I can listen to that forever. Hello, Peggy. Hello, Danny. Time for women. Well, at least you can say hello to me, sweetheart. Hello, Eddie. Hello, babe. What you doing later? Eddie. Hello is enough. Gee, you look pretty tonight, Peggy. Is that a new scoit? Yeah, this is a new scoit. Is that a new shoid? Yeah. This is a new shoid. How do you like my shoid? Too toyed around Detroit. Well, so much for that. Say, Eddie, how's your symphony coming along? Gee, Peggy, you ought to hear it. Gee, it's beautiful. Beautiful, yes. But who's ever going to hear it? Where will I get the money to complete my masterpiece? Oh, he's so high-strung. Might as well tear it up. I'll never achieve my ambition. Never, never, never. Poor kid. He's so sensitive. Also unbelievable. But don't cry, brother. I'll get you the money. I know what I'll do. I'll be a prize fighter. There's a lot of dough in that. A prize fighter? Oh, don't do that, Danny. No, no, Danny, you mustn't. You'll get your nose broken. With all this cement in it? Don't be silly. Your music belongs to the oil, Eddie. To the oil. And I'm going to see that day gets it. And Danny, the truck driver, becomes Kid Samson, the sensational newcomer to the ring. After an amazing series of knockouts, he is now the leading contender for the championship of the world. We now find Kid Samson in the gymnasium, training for the big fight. Hey, I wish you wouldn't fight. I'm doing it for you, brother. Hey, lefty, you think I'm in good shape now? Yeah, but now listen, kid, this guy you're fighting tomorrow night is plenty tough. And you gotta know how to handle him. Don't worry, I'm moitering. I don't be too sure of yourself, kid. The champ's got a habit of being with a center force and he's liable to hit you in the center where he's a separate button. I'll remember that. And when you duck, he comes back with a little center force, watch out for that cast of sulfur up. You know, he's liable to finally with a center force to separate to the kidneys. I'll watch out for that. I'll get in close. Now look, you can't be too careful. I remember in Chicago, he was fighting a guy in a center force. Yeah? One, two, three to face. He stood back with a cast of... Trafficing them? Get him in a center force to start a break. If you want to mistake the rate, I've seen him. Okay, maybe you're right. Give me a rub down, lefty. I don't know where that bottle of alcohol is. You don't. It was here yesterday. Where is it? I broke it. I can't stand alcohol. Oh, for Pete's sake. Hey, what's that sticking out of your hip pocket? That's for after the play. Give me that. Here, lefty, rub me down. Now look, where did you take your shower? There's no use salivating brushing, is there? Now I'll do it later. Well, look who's here. Hello, Peggy. Hello, Samson. That's Kid Samson. With gray hair? That'll make no difference. I'm as hard as nails. Get a load of this chest and feel these muscles. Where? Right there on my arm. Look at that bulge. That's a muscle. Where? I don't see it. Right up. Now you're scared of it. It's gone. I'll get some new trunks. What's wrong with these I'm wearing? They're so long I can hardly see your garters. They're all right. Say, Danny, who are you fighting tomorrow night? The champ. And he's one of the toughest mugs in the ring. What's his name? Dennis Killer Day. That guy's dynamite. Oh, Danny, I know you're doing this all for me, but I can't let you go through with it. Give it up, Danny. Pull up your trunks, kid. I want to tie your shoe. Gentlemen, this is Clem McNulty coming to you from the ringside of Madison Square Garden. We're about to witness the championship fight between Killer Day, holder of the title, and Kid Sampson, the contender. The killer is already in his corner, and here comes Kid Sampson, nervously pulling his trunks up. Whoops, he stumbles. He's up again. And these trunks, they are too long. Get me suspenders, let me. Now, before the fight begins, we'll have a word from each of the contestants. First, Kid Sampson, the challenger. I'll moiter them. And now, the champion, Killer Day. I'll get killed. Let's get going. The referee has just given the boys their final instructions. They're standing in their own corners, nervously awaiting the bell. And there it is. The boys meet in the center of the ring, and Killer Day leads with a right to the jaw. I'm sorry, Mr. Benny. Watch it, will ya. Got me glasses on. May I take a more? Kid Sampson removes his glasses and counters with a left to the referee. He can't see a thing without them. Oh, yeah? Where's that killer? I'll moiter him. Kid Sampson is staggering around, and Killer Day is moving in for a knock-out blow. The killer throws another one. And another one. And another one. Kid Sampson is in Dreamland. Let me tell you about Jello's new dessert recipe book. This interesting book contains 365 recipes and suggestions, one for each day of the year. It can be obtained by sending 10 cents to Don Wilson Battle Creek, Michigan. I thank you. Let me add that guy. I'll slug him. I'll moiter him. It's too light. You're in your dressing room. Oh, yeah. Darn that, Dennis. He hit me right in my big blue eye. Ooh. I'm sorry, Mr. Benny. Sorry, nothing. I'll listen here, Dennis. You know very well this was a play and that I was supposed to knock you out. Well, I'm Irish. I don't care what you are. Hey, what about my symphony? The heck with your symphony? Dennis, I'm not gonna forget this. There's no excuse. You saw the picture. Jimmy Cagney's supposed to knock out the champion. That's the only way he can get the money to help his brother. And what happens? The minute my back is turned, you hit me right where in the eye. Now, this is the last time I'm... During the past 40 years, ladies and gentlemen, Jello has become increasingly famous as the name of America's favorite gelatin dessert. And now, today, those big red letters are acquiring new fame on the Jello pudding package. Jello puddings, as you know, are the most recent members of the Jello family. Swell, ready-prepared puddings with the same high quality you've come to expect of every product that bears the name Jello. Jello puddings are available in three grand, old pudding flavors, chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch. And you'll find each one full of rich, creamy goodness, the last word in smooth, mellow delight. Jello puddings take only a few minutes to make, and they sell for the same low price as Jello. So tomorrow, when you order Jello, order Jello puddings, too, and then buying both, look for those big red letters on the box. The name Jello is a trademark, the property of general foods. And you make sure of getting the finest dessert enjoyment every time you ask for Jello, your password to pleasure. The last number of the 16th program in the current Jello series, and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Ooh, how does my eye look, Mary? Let's go to Ciro's and get a steak for it. Okay, I'll take it out of Dennis's salary. Good night, folks.