 force each other to be specific with encouragement because I got to tell you your enemies are being specific with their discouragement and a thousand your awesomes are not going to help so to grow people think of something you can say to them that you've noticed that you took time to see and perceive and go and say can I just say one thing to you and go and say to them I've been watching you I want to say I've noticed something and then mentioned something specific that you know will stay on their mind tonight instead of specific hurt that has been in their mind for three months