 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by Rose Frank and brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a coke And now Claudia What are you going to do today darling well? I was going down time with mama to get some my linens monogram why no special reason Just wanted to keep tabs on you. We'll be in your neighborhood. Say mama's never seen your office How did you if we stopped here instead of low sure make it about five? I'll go home with you. Oh Darling, I'm so happy about everything so am I Boy hear the mail under the door wait a minute Now that there's anything too interesting, but you always feel there might be Only from the motor vehicle Bureau. Oh, oh Calling is my driver's license David don't sit there like a dummy say something. I wish I was dead A minute ago. You were gurgling all over the place. I'm glad you are that was before you got your driver's license I don't think that's at all funny needed. Do I I never felt less funny in my life I bet all the time you were hoping I wouldn't get it darling. I wasn't hoping I was praying you still think I can't drive I know you can't drive and how did I pass my test because first you hypnotized the poor cop who took you out And then you scared him to death and then you talked his ear off and he let you pass to get rid of you That is unjust and unfair David. I thought you'd be proud of me Oh, I am darling so proud of you that I'd like to take that license right now frame it in gold and hang it on the wall No, I couldn't use it exactly so you couldn't use it. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I am but Claudia promise Leaving your car in front of my door. I'm not leaving it. I thought we were going downtown. We are David's office I haven't seen his office remember. Yes, but why isn't the car in the garage because we're going to use it You mean we're going to go downtown in it. Yes, go on get in the front seat. Don't waste time just a minute, please Who's going to drive? Do you know how to drive Mrs. Brown? I do not and neither do you that's what you think If anybody should happen to ask you I got my driver's license this morning Oh, and if the government has faith in me, I should think my own mother would the government does strange things these days Claudia, let's take a bus. Nope. I'll treat you to a taxi. Nope Well, all right, then let's get going. I was always one to try anything once How did she sit next to me in the front? I might be happier in the back The back's not so comfortable in a convertible. I don't expect comfort this trip now. Hush up. Don't distract Now, let's see the key starter clutch the gas Anything I might say now will be premature. Why don't we go in a straight line? Motor runs well, don't you think? Does it always make so much noise? Oh I forgot to shift out of first gear So busy with other things sometimes I forget I should think that the general impression of a boiler factory would be sufficient reminder Look out These women drivers did you see the way she caught right out in front of me? Isn't the pot calling the kettle black? What's that funny smell like an old overshoe Bernie? No, it smells like somebody's brakes are burning couldn't be yours by any chance Oh, no, that's one of the first things you do when you start a car. You take off the brakes. You just take Wait a minute there Anybody could forget to take off the brakes. You're safe anyway with the brakes on Claudia. I don't think we'll make it What do you mean make it? We will stop in front of David's office or die in the attempt. That's what I meant What happened? Don't be so nervous not a thing. I all but knock my front teeth out Would you have preferred to have me run into that taxi cab or stop quickly? You look at that man coming toward us. I suspect that you did both Pardon me lady. Did you see that red light naturally? Well, I I stopped for red lights. You should do I stopped yeah with me running into ferments for you Listen lady. I've been trying to get away from you for three old blocks Trying to get away from me. Yeah amateurs and lady drivers and me don't mix I go fast You go fast. I slow up you slow up. I stop and you stop on top of me I think you're very impertinent look lady You can smash up my fenders, but you can't hate me with names call me anything But don't run into me see I didn't run into you you backed into me Claudia That is using her imagination. I'm awfully. Sorry about what happens there. That's all right lady I just let her and me reach an agreement what kind of an agreement are you going down Madison Avenue? Yes, I am are you driving to someplace on Madison Avenue? Yes, my husband's office on Madison Avenue That's great your husband's office is on Madison Avenue So I guess it's safe to say you're gonna stay on Madison Avenue until you get there Yes, but what possible difference does that make to you? I'm coming to that now? Here's the way I got it figured out lady But a rest of this afternoon Madison Avenue is all yours See, it's your own private Boulevard as far as I'm concerned I'm gonna pull over to the Cape and let you go ahead and when you're out of sight I'm gonna leave Madison Avenue and make a be like the fifth This David's office you're all in one piece any complaints personally I'd rather have my neck broken and be frightened to death to be quicker and less mental anguish Where do we park really there's doesn't seem to be an inch of room anywhere Isn't that the worst management? You know every building ought to have a place to park in front of it There's just no excuse at all. Oh good. There's someone pulling out. Isn't that a piece of luck though? I'll let you know later looks to me like an awfully small place to get into that car did it I can do it. Are you sure? It's simple. I've watched David dozens of times Just pull ahead a little and put the car in reverse and turn the wheel like this and Claudia be careful. I was very careful. I just turned the wheel a little too much. I'll go ahead and do it again this I see you said you could do it again and you did Claudia hadn't you better drive around the block and find a larger place to park in really I've got palpitation I'm sorry about your palpitation mama, but I'm going to park here Why you yourself just saw a car come out of that space. I will not be bullied into giving up. I'll just pull ahead again That's funny it's almost as something we're holding a lady you're hooked on the bumper the car behind you What's the car behind me doing there anyway? He's got a right lady. It's a free country look one. I should help you I'll stand on one of the bumpers and you pull ahead and then you can go where you're going, huh? But this is where I'm going. Oh, you want to park When you say so well go ahead a couple of feet then I'll back your car in for you. Thank you I can manage I let him do it Claudia. Please would you sure thing? Okay, lady We got the bumpers loose slide over look you pull the wheel way over and then swing it back again, huh? See it ain't so hard Thank you. Don't mention What a beautiful soul that taxi man has beautiful soul nothing there seems to be a Conspiracy to humiliate women drivers. I think a man was perfect never made a mistake They give a good imitation of it when it comes to handling a car don't be fresh Come on hurry up. Mama slide on back again into the front seat, huh? I thought we were going up to David's office. I am but you can't why not it says no parking between nine and five So you have to sit behind the wheel. I don't get it. Mama. You are slow-witted Thank heaven for that if the driver's sitting behind the wheel. It's waiting not parking That's a subtle distinction, but I don't happen to be the driver. I don't drive How would anyone know you look quite intelligent? Thank you So just sit quietly and don't don't push buttons or step on any pedals now And if anybody says anything to you just say it's all right. What's all right everything bye be back soon Oh Hello darling just on time for a change. Oh good. You're all ready to leave. Yeah, I thought the mother would be with you Yes, she's downstairs. Why have her come up. She can't she's waiting David. Come on. Hurry up. What's the rush? Why is mother seeing the office? Oh, she'll see it another day. She's waiting in the car. What car our car Hold on a minute. What's our car doing downstairs? Well, what do you think hurry? We can catch the elevator before it goes down Claudia I don't believe it what that you had the all fired nerve to drive down here by yourself and all this traffic How many tickets did you get on the way? I had no trouble with policemen whatsoever They didn't even come over and speak to me at the stoplight. Well, how many fenders? Did you scrape not one? I'll leave it when I see the car. Where is it part? Where in front of the door in front of the door? I told you before it's taking a little time for to sink in Claudia There is no parking on the street. Do you realize that and it's a silly law What do they expect you do with your car folded up and put it in your pocket now? Never mind what they expect. This means a ticket for sure now. Come on. Let's get it out of there fast David stop that racing We won't get a ticket because I left mama behind the wheel Revolving doors See now there's the car right over there over where where I don't see a convertible in sight Don't be silly. I left it right in front of the building right in front of what building right in front of this building right over there where Where it isn't now listen darling, let's stop joking. Where did you leave? Right where I'm pointing to that is not a black convertible. You're pointing to that is a gray coop with a man sitting in it Who does not answer to the name of mama? I I know it and now try to remember darling if you parked the car in front of some building But not this one. How far did you walk and in what direction after you left? All right, all right, let's understand each other your mother can't drive a car. So she didn't drive off in She's not that good could you have been kidnapped there is no crime wave on kidnapping a middle-aged lady and a black convertible So obviously mother is sitting in the car right where you left I think back think back where did you park it? You are talking to me as if I were a moron and David this is serious. Of course. It's serious You've gone and lost the car nevermind the car I've lost mama mama can talk and find a way home when it begins to get dark the car can But if the worst comes to the worst we could always get another car. That's what you think Hey, wait a minute a taxi driver is calling over to us Are you the little lady got a bumpers caught huh? So you got your bumpers caught Oh why sure you're the little lady belongs at the convertible. I backed in here a little while ago I suppose now there's no suppose about it either you are or you aren't I am and this kind gentlemen back the car for you I don't mention it was a pleasure. We're looking for my mother. Have you seen her? Oh, yeah? I seen as she was in the car, but the car is gone Well sure it is the cop comes along and tells us you've got to move on and she'll get a ticket She was in a fix there for a minute. So I parked it around the next block for I hope you don't mind Wasn't anything else I could do because she didn't know how to drive it lady any more than you did All story material used on this broadcast of Claudia was under the supervision of Rose Franken and William Brown Maloney Did you ever notice how that youngster of yours is plenty willing even anxious to go to the store when you ask him to Bring home a supply of Coca-Cola Maybe in the back of his mind there lurks the pleasant idea of stopping at the familiar red cooler for a little refreshment Well, it's always a mighty nice idea for anybody to enjoy the pause that refreshes with ice-cold Coca-Cola Every day Monday through Friday. Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is Joe King saying or if war and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of Coca-Cola or ice-cold Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes