 Hello. Hi. Welcome to above life channel. The purpose here is to inspire your spirit and to fill you with hope. I know, right? You like the hair? Actually, I just got out of the shower and so I just pulled it all back because you know me. I can only do the soccer mom look for so long after I came back from Maine and from not being able to get my hair cut for like almost 10 weeks. My hair was pretty long and shaggy for me. If you have short hair, you understand this. It gets long and it gets frustrating, right? And so it's a thing, you guys. It's a thing. And so I went and got it cut, but I couldn't get it cut too much. I just got it like shaved under. But I left it long on the top because I couldn't put both of my hands up at the same time. But now I can see. Look at me. I'm feeling better from my open heart surgery. I'm doing better. And this week, my update is on Tuesday, I have my first cardiac rehab. I'm doing my intake session and I'm ready to wallow them. And I'm seven weeks now, yesterday post op. And I'm doing really, really well. I mean, I have moments where I get really tired. And I just rest. And but I don't need to sleep a lot like I used to need to sleep a lot. And so that's good. And I have, I have moments where I get a little reflective, emotionally, a little moody. But part of that is part of the hormone stuff because I had to stop taking all my hormone medication. Like every frickin, all the three hormones I was taking, I had to just cold turkey stop them. So I'm a little wonky because of that too. So it's hard to tell how much is post operation because when you're under anesthesia, for as long as I was for like nine hours plus the intubator thing. And I think the bypass machine thing, I think that affects mood and attitude and all that kind of stuff. It affects your brain, you know, and all the things. So I don't know what's what, but I know that I feel it sometimes. So, especially during the cold season, it's getting chilly. I'm trying to stay positive and uplifting. And as you know, here on above life channel, traditionally on Sundays, I do Sunday morning coffee, which is my version of a podcast. I've done it for months and years now. And where I take an intuitive topic, a human topic and apply that spiritual vibe to it, to inspire you and uplift the energy to really empower you on that particular topic, and what's showing up in the energy fields in the sessions I've had or what I feel in my, my own private work as well. So do that on Sundays. And then on Mondays, I traditionally do channeling with afterlife celebrity guests. And there are tons and tons of playlists. So if you miss that, you miss talking to Elvis or Prince or Marilyn Monroe or Freddie Mercury or all these other Robin Williams, all this just myriad of celebrities, famous people influence influential people, world leaders, etc. Go check the playlists and you can binge all that. Right now, I am not doing that work during this time because I'm healing. So I'm in the energetic cocoon as an empath, just like you are. I am honoring my heart space and honoring my private energy. Because you see, when I do energy, when I do channeling videos very psychically, publicly, everybody, anybody can come and listen and watch. And so that is a barrage of energy. And so unless I do it in a private setting, it doesn't feel very safe right now to do that because of the draw on my personal energy, because my personal energy needs to be focused on healing. So that's what I mean by not, not like it doesn't feel safe, because I need to prioritize my energy and my health and healing. So, so that. All right, so today, we're going to talk again about the energy. So what if it's hard right now? So what if it is? We're at the end of the year. There's some financial stuff that might be impacting you. There could be physical health stuff that's impacting you. Maybe you have that seasonal affective disorder. Also, so do I. I got that too, with the lack of sunlight. Don't worry though, you guys. Near the end of this month, the 20th or 21st, that winter solstice hits and then we get more light. So that'll be good. So hang in there. I know it's tough though. And I know it's tough and so tough. So yeah, it's hard right now. And it's okay to say, yeah, it's fucking hard right now. And it's okay to complain and to bitch and to vent and to do all that and rant, but it's not okay to stay in that space. It's okay to acknowledge your emotions, acknowledge your feelings, let everything kind of bubble up and fizzle out, but let it fizzle out. Don't hold on to it. Don't make it your identity. Don't make it your crusade. Don't don't fight yourself on it. Don't make somebody else the problem when really it's just you hanging on to emotion. It's misplaced emotion. That's what it is. Yes, that's what it is. I should know because I'm in this space too. Yesterday I woke up pretty angry. I had a dream, you know, one of those dreams and I was mad and it was really about the past. And I was mad. I was like, I was mad. And I was like, where's my Saint Joan of Arc sword? Where's my sword? I know I have this beautiful staff. Now the staff energy, this wise woman energy, this earth connected, peaceful, wisdom wise sharing teacherly energy now, but where's my fucking sword, you know? I was like, er, like when people have done you wrong or you feel like, like there's like an imbalance in how you've been treated and how you feel. And it's just, it's just there's so much like unfairness, unjustness and it can be globally or in the world or amongst different diversity groups or in your own family or in your own job or in your own freaking head. Because let's be honest, 90% of your problems are just stuff in your head that you're making your own, which is really not your own. So there you go. That's the truth. And it sucks. I know because right, it's that simple. It's you. Yeah, you're the problem. You are your normal, you're human, but you're the problem. And I know because I'm the problem too. I'm the motherfucking problem. Yes, I am. I am. And it sucks to know that it really sucks. It sucks to know that the last 50 years of my life, especially the last couple years when I was drowning in depression and feeling like I did not want to be here. And not knowing what to do and trying to think in them doing the right things for other people and then really doing the wrong things and like holding out as long as I can. And then just erupting and like, Oh my God, I can't handle this anymore kind of emotions and making choices that are not typically what I would would do or make or being afraid to make any choices like being frozen. All these things I experienced the last couple years. I'm like, you know, knowing now that it was all on me all along, like I could have just decided not to feel like that. It's hard to tell that to somebody though that's depressed. Oh, you just cannot feel depressed. Well, no, you know what depression is. It's the layer upon layer upon layer of unresolved of of the undefined or un unhomed energy and emotion. So it's very, very real. And it really affects us. And at the same time, I've never had depression in my life. I've never been diagnosed with depression. Last year, I had it bad. Like when I lost all that weight, I weighed like 117 pounds, I think maybe 116 pounds. Yeah, I'm almost five nine. And I'm a grown ass woman. I should not weigh that much. I should weigh like 104 year something, right? And that was awful. I wasn't eating. I was miserable. I just didn't feel connected to anything. I felt detached. And I felt like I was the problem. I had so much guilt and so much heartbreak, heartache, and pain. And I just was just drowning. So I'm saying it's not your fault that you have this scenario, the situation, this depression, etc. But there is power. There is power because the it's on you pieces, it's on you to get help. It's on you to if life is hard right now to vent it out and then to move on past that it's on to it's up to you to move on. The moving on part is the hardest fucking part is the hardest part. It's like you're you're driving and you're on like a road trip and all of a sudden you turn down this dirt road and then there's this big like barricade and you can't go any farther but that's the only way you can go and you can't go any farther there's barricade. But the truth is, the barricade is only across the road. It's not on the other sides, like where the grass is. And it's literally just a thing where a situation where you just have to get out on latch it and push the gate open to go through. But you don't know that all you see when you're in that state of emotion and you're in that state of of that mindset where it's like oh my gosh this is hard this is hard this is hard, then you look at this as like this massive barrier and really it's like Oh, Oh, I just have to. Okay, got it. You know, it's like really that perspective right where you do have power and you do have control. And then the question is where do you have control where do you have power in the moving on part in the asking for help part in the telling somebody part. I did just post this the other day on tiktok I did just say, hey, I haven't I don't I've alluded to having depression last year but I haven't publicly spoken about it. Because why because I have a fucking business that relies on me being this inspirational person, and I didn't want to like lose clients because they thought, Oh, she's depressed she can't help me because you know she's too, you know, know, because doing the regular things like doing my work and showing up and working in the psychic channels working in energy working in other people's grid systems was what inspired me. That's what helped get me through it to that and medication and counseling, medication counseling and doing normal things like doing my work. So I didn't want to speak so specifically about it because I thought it would affect my business and during that time when I was doing the separation and stuff I didn't I needed the money. I couldn't risk being a life coach that was depressed that didn't have clients, because she was depressed. And while she was, by the way, trying to make her own fucking living, pay her own rent and still take care of her four children. Like, do you see what I'm saying here, do you see what I'm saying. So now I'm talking about it, because we're coming into this fall, this winter season where it things are going to be hard. There's some of us that gets harder than others like you guys know that I have that seasonal effective disorder thing you know that and I've had that forever for a long time. And so I know that so I do things to kind of manage that I amp up by vitamin D. I spend time in the light the sunlight I have a sun lamp thing, sunlight thing I can use I do all sorts of things that give me as much energy as I possibly can and I forgive myself when I need to sleep or I just let myself sleep more I just fucking let myself sleep more and I can do that because of my schedule I can do that. But last year there was so much heartache and so much pain I was dealing with and suffering through and so much loss and grief energy and just it was fucking hard it was hard. I was like, it was coming at me at all levels you guys. It was coming here was coming there was coming here and so now this year looking back I can talk about it and say, it's hard. Sometimes things are so hard and people don't talk about it. I alluded to it I tried to talk about the topics that were impacting me, so that I could be authentic, as much as I could with you to share to talk about like how we can handle these things how we can work through these things because whenever I'm in psychic space, I feel empowered and I feel inspired and I feel the energetics of possibility. And when you're in the dark space and you can't get out of bed and you don't want to eat, I literally had to set an alarm to remind myself to eat meals. And when I ate meals my stomach would hurt I didn't want to eat I just didn't want to eat it's like I was slowly trying to kill myself. I mean I really felt like I did not want to be here. And that is bold to say but it's really the truth. And I just wanted the pain to end. I just wanted the pain to be done. Honestly. And I know there are some of you that are in that place and I know there are some of you that will be cycling through depression because depression is cyclical. It comes back. It's not like you just cure yourself and you're done. You are triggered sometimes and the seasons sometimes do that. So try your best to one moment at a time. Okay, to just show up for yourself to do something like maybe tell somebody talk to somebody. We got to do something to get you out of your head and the negative thought patterns on the head and by talking to friends and family. It does that. And at first it's hard to do that because your head is going they're not going to they're going to look at me like but you seem so happy but you seem so happy I'm like yeah but I'm fucking not. I feel like I'm dying inside okay I feel like somebody's ripping my heart out which almost a year later basically happened but you know I think I maybe I manifested that in reality so I could be like okay don't be so dramatic you know it's like now I really need healing right. But there's this acknowledgement of I know what it's like when you feel like you can't tell people because you look so successful because you're high functioning. The same thing happens with people who are addicts are dealing with addiction like alcoholism. It's like they're so high functioning that nobody can believe that they're actually an alcoholic. It's the same thing with being depressed. Like people might be functioning all day long and friendly and showing up and putting on their game face or acting throughout the day and then they get home they put their jammies on and they go to bed immediately and they they don't get up until the next day when they have to go to work and by the way maybe they're not showering. Maybe they're using perfume maybe they're showering every fourth day like it was it was hard for me to do that. Because just getting in the shower seemed like so much effort you know and it seemed like I didn't want to be with them I didn't want to be with my body. My body was the last thing I wanted I didn't want to touch my body I didn't want to see my body I thought it was gross. I thought it was ugly I just I was just like I didn't want I didn't want anything to do with my body. And it just there was so much and it which is weird because I'm so I love my body and I would never abuse it but I did. I abandoned it with depression though that happens you just abandon everything because it's hard to it's hard to explain and it affects people very very very differently. But if you can get medication there's natural remedies you can use. There's obviously counseling just talk to somebody talk to somebody there's hotlines and depression hotlines. Hi, thank you. Hi volley nice to see you. I love nice to see you thank you. I just thought it was really important to talk about this right now as we're entering December and we're going to have a mercury retrograde I think on the 13th. There's going to be a full moon coming up there's going to be all sorts of holidays which always intersect things and create stuff and there could be world events and things happening. There's the end of the year there's this anticipation for the new year and then there's a sense of looking back over this year and wondering what the fuck happened. Maybe what I'm doing a little bit is like what the heck. Like in January I started this year so depressed and just not wanting to be here and so heartbroken. And now I'm ending the year mending from a physical tear in my aorta. Crazy literally quite literally had open heart surgery. It's just crazy it's crazy how that is. I'd like to do is give you some inspiration today. We're going to do some cards because cards are just a tool to help to inspire and to bring your energy into hopefully a better place maybe than where you're at. Okay, so what I'm going to ask you to do is I'm going to ask you to pick a number because I think I'm going to do two cards. Okay, and so which number is best most most of a fit for you when we're focusing on like things are hard things are hard how can we get the support that we need to help lighten the load to help ease this feeling of hardship because we want to ease the feeling of hardship. So let's ask your spiritual support team aligned with your highest good the energy of your God your creator your source your universe cosmic consciousness whatever you connect to and bring in this energy of what can create ease from hardship that release what can create that for us. All right, so we are going to use again a Denise Lynn deck I think her decks are amazing. They are not to roll base they are just inspirational and they are Oracle based so you can use them for psychic readings if you want to you can also use them just for inspiration. This is the gateway Oracle deck this is a super basic easy to start with deck. Again, it's Denise Lynn lin and there is a link to this deck in the in the description once this is live. Here's what it looks like. Okay. Okay, so we're going to get one card from this deck we'll see if to come out if to come out we'll use one just literally flew out. That's number one one or two one or two for you to help ease the hardship. I think we're going to use these purple decks from Kyle Gray. This is the Kyle Gray angel deck. This is what it looks like. I don't have the book so I can't show you what the box or the box looks like but this is what it looks like Kyle Gray. KYLEGRA why I think I'm going to pick number two from this deck. This is that orange deck. This one feels really good. We're going to pick this one up. So now we've got two one and two pick one again the goal is to ease the struggle ease that suffering vibe okay to lighten the load a bit. So that doesn't have to be so hard or doesn't have to feel so hard because we're making it hard you're making it hard I'm making it hard we're making it hard okay. Okay, so I think I'm going to pick number one because number one feels really good to me. Oh, this is interesting. I don't expect this. It says taking action I enthusiastically embrace life's boundless possibilities. So number one is about taking action maybe there is something you do have control over here that moving on piece. Maybe the taking action is calling a 1-800 number for depression. Maybe that taking action is going to your first a meeting or Alan on meeting. Maybe that taking action is making that phone call to a friend just to talk. Maybe that taking action is getting out of bed opening up the blinds opening up the window even if it's cold out and breathing in some fresh air. Okay. This says boundless possibilities remember remember this situation you're in right now is temporary so if it's hard is temporary. It will get better it doesn't feel like it will but it will it will get better as long as you don't hold on to it and make it your identity stop making it your identity. That's and then of course do you see the water. The water is connected to what what have we learned the last few days about the water element. Water is connected to the heart space right and it's connected to emotion and the fact that it's a stream is about flow which means don't make it your identity. Emotions are just information they are not your identity they'll give you info you don't have to hang on to them. Okay good and bad ones both. Okay don't hang on to them just oh receive them and let it move on. Okay. Now number two for those of you who picked a number two. Oh this is interesting. This is a spirit guide. Oh this is a big deal. Hmm. This could be multiple spirit guides for you. So I'm going to list a couple of different ones that this card represents for me and if it represents somebody else for you great. That's what matters. Okay I just give you a place to start remember that when it's intuition and it's energy and it's you it's yours you are the wisdom person for you you are the expert on you I just give you a place to start. I just give you a place to start. Okay so I'll list a couple of different ones. All right so this says power and intention. Remember the whole goal is to ease the struggle right so what do you want. How do you want things to be different. There might be some things you can actually do to help inspire that. You might not be taking action but you might be contemplating what might be better than the situation you're in right now or what might ease the challenge or the burden of the situation you're in now. Contemplating or taking in information about that and you might do maybe you'll do a collage maybe you'll go on Canva or Pinterest and you'll make a collage an electronic collage. Like a vision board or a dream board or an intention board. The reason why I suggest this is because I did one of these a couple of weeks ago and I want to do another one today. And I freaking love it. It's a great tool because it's very very visual and we're so as humans we're so tangible tactile so if you can see it it really helps. And it just opens up possibility and so like look at the colors here of this particular spirit guide. There's lots of blues and purples here. Okay so the purple is the energy of Archangel Raziel. Raziel is a very scholarly collegiate professor like energy. So you would be like an apprentice or an intern to this particular energy. So it's like this you're learning right now. And so Raziel would show up to help you understand what life is showing you right now what life is maybe teaching you. Okay it's not supposed to be hard by the way and life is not supposed to be this big obstacle course. It's not the freaking Olympics becoming a person. It feels like that sometimes but we make it dramatic because that's what we do because we get bored and we make it hard as people. I don't know why we do that I think it's our brains that do that and other people's brains that do that to us. I don't know but it doesn't have to be hard and challenging. Okay so you're kind of an intern if you're working with Archangel Raziel you might be working with your intuition understanding energy understanding how you are taking in information and information that maybe isn't yours. Like you might be taking on too much other people's stuff and so that's adding to your depression or it's contributing to your heart based energetics of anxiety and you don't want that you don't need that. Okay this might also be the energy of Meditron. Archangel Meditron is a sacred chiropractor. Oftentimes I'll see Meditron as kind of a grayish lavender energetic. And Meditron works with a lot of different sacred geometries. I see Meditron often with people who are very astral or cosmic or connected to other galactic energies or spirit guides or star guides you know people that are Arcturian or Platian etc. I'll see Meditron with them a lot or with people who are really really grid workers super focused on energy. So they might use sacred geometry like a Shriantra or Adodechahedron or flower of life seed of life that kind of thing you know. So that might be your jam. All right. This could also be Melchizedek. So Melchizedek is referred to I think in biblical maybe Christian terms as like the priest of God but for me Melchizedek is an energetic of high vibrational clearing energy. So like a healer but a clearer clears energy clears patterns uses some sacred geometry uses some cosmic or star energy. That's a much higher vibration. It's like advanced technology stuff and Melchizedek works with that but tries to bring it into the earth perspective in order to make that connection make that make that sink. So Melchizedek might also be one. I'm not talking Melchizedek like the guy that does the channeling or anything. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about actually a spirit guide. Okay. That is really well versed in energetics and clearing energy. Okay. And for people who are impasse often you do respond really well to that higher star like energy for sure. And that angelic energy for sure. Usually that's kind of the that's kind of the jam. So yeah. So there you go. All right. Power and intention. All right. So with that I'm going to scoot out into my day. I'm going to go over to the townhouse today and hang out over there. Hang out with the little doggies and my sis. So that'll be good. I'm going to do that. I need to do that at the house. I did decorate a little bit yesterday. I spent a lot of time. I didn't do a live stream yesterday because I was decorating and I was doing other things around the house like normal people things which felt really good. And so you can't really see the tree behind me. But this is a kitchen area upstairs. And this is a Disney tree at the top of the tree. There is a castle. And then there's like Star Garland. I'll take some little pictures of this and post it. Maybe maybe I'll do a little video on tech talk about it. And yeah, some really beautiful little Disney ornaments and things like that. So yeah. So I did that yesterday. That was kind of fun. And then watched movies last night again of course during the holiday season. I love to watch Christmas movies. That's kind of our jam. We do that. So yeah. And we started the advent calendar. So I got a Reese's peanut butter cup one and I got a just a cheesy cheap or cheap chocolate one also for the two kids that are home right now. So they're doing those. So I'm like whatever whatever works. So hey, I hope you have a great day. I hope I've inspired your spirit today and filled you with some hope. Okay. This is your life after all and you get to live it. I'm talking to you right now. Okay. You get to choose to live it. Nobody can do that for you. Trust me. I know this personally. You choose to live it. I'd love to see you live it. Thanks for being here.