 Screaming for help and you left We live Matt we're live episode number 39 This is in me Yeah, we'll fuck 19. We'll fucking get to that man. But yeah, there's a 30 no one more to go after this 19 episode the semi-final of the finale Wow This is like Brandon Novak versus Bernard Tomik. This is tennis man. Where is that his name? Yeah, man to Bernard Tomic. I believe you fuck. What's the joke? Hey, I got three minutes back. It's oh Swore yeah, Michael's fuck. Dude. Can't I literally release the shackles. Can't I literally had it done Check the shackles off and have a fuck yell My daughter's not here Matthew actually could you double check with it? No, you're the one that set that off He was going to control until you Anyway, we have a lot of shit talking to do okay, so this first bit's probably gonna go for a little while So let's quickly get the fucking sponsors out of the way because I'll tell you what man scape. They're being fucking legends, right? They fucking believe in us. They've supported us, right? If you want to fucking any male grooming shit What did they send us? Where's the package? I don't remember Yes, new shit Before we get into the proper shit talk, they send us like the fucking coolest shit. All right, genuinely the coolest shit look at this Nail thing you can you got your nail clippers nail file scissors and fucking Tweezers you got the weed wacker for your nose. Have you used that? Yeah? Yep? I used this way away No, it's easy. There you go. They fucking go I've got fucking nose hairs everywhere dude. They're the worst thing and they look like shit Matt Look, have a go at this man go on weed wacker. There you go. I got one in my all you gotta do fully actual 20 20% off Okay, just use our discount code fully actual 20 get 20% off buy some Christmas shit buy some shit from Manscape They support us so we support that it's just big beautiful fucking get out of town The other sponsors of course the subscription website University Michael where we post our most fucked up videos Okay, the shit we want to film. There's over 200 videos on there now. They're all fucked There's gonna be coming up the nail gun video Dig a little gun so bad when we'll talk about that surely when Michael had to go to hospital Just all sorts of shit that we can't post social media that we post there If you want to have a look at the videos There's a 21 day free trial that we offer so you just sign up and then you can watch free for 21 days If you like it you're starting if you don't you leave free charge man. That's the sponsors done, baby If you want to support the podcast either subscribe to the University of Michael or like comment subscribe this video man All right, the weekend Holy shit. Yeah, we went to Jackson's party Matthew well done. I like Matthew's fun when he's sober Is this the drunkest we've ever seen Matt Brown? Matt when he's drunk is like a little kid. It's so fun to be around Oh, he's always smiling. He's like his posture changes. Oh, yeah He told me about that he's like yeah, like his neck was sticking out a bit and he was like very approachable posture like cute little kid Yeah, it was very beautiful just clapping a lot. It's like imagine It's like he's it's like a silly Matt. It's like a like a 40 year old with learning difficulties Fuck he was buzzing around left right and center and You know not Matt say yeah, we slept together. Yeah, you guys they said up to what 6 a.m. Or some shit Yeah, I like four or something man There was some funny stories that came out of the fucking night funny funny story from Michael hooked up no, I didn't Matt Brown fucking okay, he went into the security safe right where all the phones are trying to steal people shit I Know there was a security room where the security guards were watching the Cameras so there's a lot of security at Jackson's party and they had Security cameras up and one guy was watching him in that room. That was a security room. There was no phones anyway for one Yeah, there was a phone in there and guess whose phone well No, let's save that for the end. So Matt starts picking up phones taking video. I found a couple of phones here and there Himself and then he just does a nine-minute clip just on a random phone Just talking to the screen hammer drunk at like 5 a.m. I found some sunglasses who I still have I have this person's sunglasses You stole him Matt. He's on Matt gets drunk. He just wrapped up man He told me all of the wallets he stole fucked up shit, man But the funny part is is the fucking phone that he did it on one of the one of the highlights of the phone He's like, he's so slurry. I don't know his friend. This is But I respect you It ends up being Bernard Tomics so Tomics own messaging Jackson the next time you know, do you know who this man is? We should put it in the UOM group and the only thing We'll put the clip on yeah, do you want to add the clip to the podcast maybe? Dude, we've got a small Fuck it. We'll put on the only fans. Oh, yeah, we'll figure it out Somewhere because we'll have to go to I've only put a tease up on the on the episode and then we'll put the whole thing on the only fans You reckon whatever you want. Oh, I don't even know if we have the whole nine minutes Maybe we'll get but I'll tell you who does have a mate Bernard fucking Tommy this party By the way before we continue the stories like this is probably it's most outrageous party I've ever been to the shit the people there is just like there's so much fucking fun We went there with every intention is just not drinking just smoke a bit of weed, sorry And we fucking ended up just like just couldn't it was just too good of an event Yeah, we had to we had to have a few drinks. We didn't get fucking blasted Oh, yeah, like midnight, but by the end I had a few drinks, but I think it's when okay funny part of it Matt sleeps in Loki's bed and then I probably stopped drinking around 6 a.m But if I have a few before I go to bed if I don't space them out Even if I'm not hammered. I'll still piss Wake up at what? 10 10 a.m. And then I'm shivering. Are you tell the story Matt? Are you so I can tell we wake up and and yeah, it's called like it was a bit cold We wake up and Michael's next to me. I don't even remember you coming next to me, but I was in the lockman's bed And and Michael's freezing And he's like I'm so cold and he gets up and he goes you guys I'm gonna go to the toilet and As I and he said can we can we go home and can we get some food and go home? And I said yeah, absolutely and he rolls out of bed and goes the toilet and as I said that I said Oh, Michael, where's your keys and I my hand like went to his side of the bed and like splashed into a puddle a Pissed like he's bed Michael piss like he's bed new bed. I'd never pissed like he's bed Well, you haven't pissed a bed. We'll talk about this for a year and they're long time brokeies fucking fuck But there you go lots of the party though itself was crazy such crazy entertainment the people there amazing It's just like a fucking it's like a nightclub event thing. It's unbelievable Jackson pulled that was incredible. There's free drinks for everyone free food bars everywhere like stuff with brothers played There's a fucking dude on a one of them water jet things and yeah, there's a fucking jumping castle There's a live sex shows. Yeah, I killed a man Yeah, that was meant to get a tattoo I was gonna get fully out be more be or fully actually we were trying to get the chair Yeah, I was a chair you could choose I was gonna get that And fucking yeah, it's just bloody a good time and What what else has happened this week fucking well, I'll tell you what we filmed last week We filmed a science experiment how far how what at what distance are nail guns dangerous nail guns You know like proper now guns, you know, I had fucking done the research I remember a tradie once said to me a long time ago the nails spin if you're a long way away And she says I go off. Yeah, so the research was done. You know, we did the research We thought that they spun in the air if you were you know of good distance away, but turns out They don't Some of them still just shoot like a fucking arrow can't these are the what's it called the gas powered one Yeah, these are like proper now guns like whatever you whatever worst-case scenario pitching in your head Yes, it was that gun and so we were new we're in trouble during the intro because Blasting him into the wooden fence Somewhere into metal like into the metal garage. They stuck in there like that's fucked And you know on the outset of the video We're like oh sure there's probably one of these is probably gonna stick in our butts when it gets pretty close And you know, it'll just be like a dart it'll go in a little bit of a way and that'll be the end of the video It'll be fucking hilarious. So I got good distance ways to like 10 meters away Oh, he would have been five at the start for the first shot Very very ages away. That's so far away Michael and I standing next to each other arse is exposed very first shot Bang Oh and that oh gee is that hurt a bit turns around There's a fucking nail half in his arse already like these nails dude the long fucking nails You can't see it on Spotify It's so like it's what seven centimeters. I fucking know it's like yeah, it's like How long would you say that is Matt like six seven centimeters or something like halfway in right which was fucking hilarious rule So and then I got you know, it's just a coincidence I'm sure not all of them are gonna stick in and then anyway I get the next one and it and it doesn't go straight it bends and it slaps my arse and then we stand next to each other again And then fucking he's even further away our mate because we're like oh fuck we don't want to yeah This it's still a dangerous distance takes a step back shoots one went in between our fucking heads Which we didn't even know till after the video He said I a shot one missed and went in between your heads. How did it do the game? That's it Yeah, because it's a long way and there's a lot of recoil with them and shit Oh, and then over if that hits your head then he shoots another one and we hear a slap We look down and in Michael's calf muscle nearly the entire way like just the very end bit sticking into his calf muscle It was truly shocking to see And then he pulls it out and there's blood and shit Are you so did you just rip it out? Did you take it out? Slipped out Anyway, so we weren't worried. We're like I ain't gonna die or anything But we should probably go get like a tetanus shot or something because the nails were rusty Anyway, we get to the hospital. They're like oh what you took them out Should leave me leave me and then they get him in there and they shove a tube into his holes and flush him out and they said Unbelievable and there's an artery one centimeter either side of where the fucking nail went left and right So so one centimeter left or right would have hidden artery And he would have been in real fucking trouble and he said if it hit an artery in the upper leg Which we had no protection over he said we could have bled out within minutes Yeah, the upper leg arteries are the bad ones. We didn't even think I didn't think like I Marty had a pillow covering his like hit my back So we didn't get like, you know, you got bones there and if that I didn't have a pillow there and I don't fucking know why I just thought it was gonna work out That hit me in the bone, dude. That would have hurt so much Again, we shut me down. We got lucky, dude. That was after that. We're like fuck me That was like we gotta we need to do a little research Maybe a little bit more research before we do these because that was like that could have ended so badly if that fucking Plunged into our neck or something. Oh, that's it. Back of the head. Well, where your kidney is. There's no protection They're like just deep into your fucking kidney. Yeah, what if I got your spinal cord or something? Yeah, straighten the spine could have gone all a range of things could have gone wrong Anyway, I shouldn't do this stuff anymore. Anyway, obviously But we needed to figure it out because no one attested before if there's a safe distance you can fire an hour gun turns out There is no safe distance for those wondering. Anyway, video is gonna be on the website in a few weeks, but yeah, it's fucked Did you slow down the nails at all to see if they were actually spinning and just happened to spin and got you at the Correct moment. No, it's slow anything down. That'd be interesting to know because the guys What do you say the research said that they spin? Yeah, the research we conducted which was one tradie. I asked Wonder if they did spin still but just happened to land in the sound like they have that gas power. That's terrifying But yeah, anyway, I was fucked video Obviously, we won't be able to post that to social media and then fucking. Yeah, then we had Jackson's party then beginning of this week I start getting fucking chest pains and I'm like, I don't know if it's like muscular or structural or fucking My heart and I could feel my blood pressure was really high So I was like, oh fuck just to be safe I'll just go to the fucking hospital and then they get in there They measure my blood pressure and then they start freaking me out. I feel like terrifying. No, that's way too hard There's blah blah blah start doing all these fucking tests on me And I'm in there for hours and hours and then they do all these weird tests on me Send me to another hospital and then the doctor there was like, you know, it's obvious that you know You're fucking that there's your heart seems fine But your lifestyle so stress and it's a fucking stressful time of year at the moment. Holy shit We're doing pretty much two weeks work every week So we can have a break at the end of the year and we're getting fucked, but we're five weeks away That's a long time. That's a lot longer than I wanted But yeah, dude, we're getting there fucking we yeah, I think fuck we aren't dead and anything Yeah, yeah, we survived and we're here to fight another day Did he give you anything to like like any Ideas on how to bring your stress down. Yeah, just just the usual just the regular shit But mostly it was just like get your fucking Get your work sorted so that you're not so stressed But it's hard to do but anyway, we're working on it next year. We're expanding so fucking hopefully less to do What else was there that we had to talk about? All right, so we got the fucking as you some of you may have seen we've only promoted on once the listener's choice It was the Australian podcast awards has begun. Okay, and The listeners choice voting has opened we promoted on Instagram and Facebook last Friday and we're going to fucking send By the time you're listening to this we'll have already done it. All right, so this is only this is only a short-term Special offer for those people who have already done it. We've had like over a thousand More have you had over a thousand now? Yeah. Oh, yeah, man Because at least 200 came through the fully actual and I think and fast send them to you So we're gonna attempt tomorrow and the next few days to send a thank you message to every single person who has voted for us Thus far unfortunately from this moment on we won't be sending the video messages because it's just too time-consuming But please continue voting a fucking love it There's so much beautiful support that the podcast awards have grown a fair bit to the Hamish Yeah, they've definitely doubled up. Yeah, so it's gonna the competition is thick and fierce and everyone put so many lovely Messages in there when they sent their screenshots through. Yeah, thank you everyone who fucking listens and watches and and who voted Thank you so hard so hard right now. Well, this whole thing is them. Yeah, exactly This is for you fucking dogs right there. It'd be so good if we fucking be so funny It would change everything it would flip the world upside down come Yeah, it would stop the the virus 100% we're doing this to stop corona virus probably you know what I mean Yeah, sit of the vaccine and have a fucking to to come It's probably just as good for the immune system come There you go, that's like a one version tour Feels good to do You do one that Goes to the back of the house. He always stops himself All right, let's fucking wait. There's still more from the weekend. Yeah, but Newton died. Yeah, the new died at the party Actually, we were at the party when he died Seriously, Julie dude. He died on Halloween at like 12 o'clock. Hmm Sacrificed he must have been sacrificed. That's what I was gonna do with him if I ever ran into it Fucking crazy what a time to die and the Melbourne Cup got run Yeah, Melbourne Cup. Yeah, I was the other watch the horses a couldn't be I don't watch a meds is there you watch the horses Fuck no either do I I don't get it. Why I don't know but people go nuts Like the only time I want to be around a horse is to pad it or be like all the all works shut down I don't get it. Hey, it's the race. It stops the nation Yeah, no, that's how that's how fucking shit talk. There's a lot going on and we're fucking it's a stressful time We're fucking buzzing cunt. We're fucking running on fumes the whole time. We're fucking getting she done but can't Yeah, it's a good video is coming. Fuck me. Can't fuck off can't fuck it So and I guess it's time for the dire and trees Daring to number 147 from Michael Corrie blockhouse is there more To even attempt to understand this you have to first understand what more means and realize that what's more to some might be less to others For example the golly bottle More golly made me happy But to you more golly made you less happy and therein lies the answer for there to be more There must also be less the two cannot exist without each other So remember when you are sad that your sadness is allowing someone else to be happy and it makes the sadness bearable Anyway, I'm off to get KFC chicken tenders, but they have to be fresher. I don't want them if they're even 10 minutes old I don't want to have them He used to be so when we were fucking in our early 20s, he would be so fucking grossly fussy at KFC Well, yeah, can you just make him fresh? Hands up if you agree that old shitty chicken popcorn chicken or chicken nuggets or fucking anything from any fast food restaurant Tastes like shit when it's been in there for even half an hour shit. Yeah, I called the chips are shit I mean there for half an hour or longer. All right, half an hour. No half an hour It's fine if they never fucking five hours, then maybe bin it if you're gonna fucking pay from like your meal Like you want it to be fresh and it's like you just wait for five minutes And it makes the meal ten times better One of the best parts about going to KFC with Michael and this is one of the first times I sort of ever got fast food with him We walk in there and Michael would just order 20 chicken nuggets and that's it. Yeah, yeah, 18 nuggets Cuz I was like, you know how you get meals your chips and drink Yeah, I just want bulk food cuz like I was poor so I'd be like, okay What can I get my bang for my buck? So it was like $9 and you get 18 nuggets and then I'm full Makes sense But then I was very I was craving Shit, he's a fucking fussy little boy Let's fussy little boy at KFC in McDonald's, huh? That whole mess like that whole more and less shit, dude Hmm not spot-on man. Philosophical balance. Hey, fuck. No, you know that is some yin-yang shit Don't ever one hundred nine from money Today a friend showed me that he owns something called a play station It makes games come on the TV the games made me want to kill strangers play stations are scary and make the circle spin really fast I heard it blowing air to it felt like I'm living in the future. It was a pretty good day Why would it make you want to kill people? I don't know. Maybe the games were murderous or something German shit came back possibly I Don't you number six no from Julian James Tennyson woods from Ashgrove with some shit 40 60 till I die Today I gas my family dog by sitting fucking thing in dad's car, right getting a hose Can't put one end on the exhaust and feeding the other end into the car Stab it died peacefully, but it was still pretty funny Swipe cunt. I might go see if there's any chicks hanging around the server. Haha grab stab stab grab it Also, all my days are just bleeding into one and I'm having trouble distinguishing what's real and what's fantasy Got a bit serious at the end of his entry, maybe a blink of real Julian Yeah, like he sort of a smidge of real Julian came out and he realized what was happening Responsible tried to communicate with the outside world was sucked back in by that Disgusting character that he has this He can't help but have a stab Julian's Darren character who's just taken over his brain. Oh Darren Similar to Darren. That's what happened. That's what's happened to him He's been possessed by something a character like that and it's taken over his brain I feel it I feel Darren doing that to me sometimes and I don't want to go back to being me Sometimes, you know what I mean? I just want to stay as Darren. I could keep you as Arnold fine I would fucking hang out with Arnold fine all day long Darren not so much Darren not so much. Oh, we forgot to mention the shit talk that we got Brandon Novak on for the season finale, right? We interviewed him today Right for the finale next week. Right. It's fuck cool. There's a fucking good time You know that will be in the five seas finale on all right Matt Brown You know look at me Die right die right die right die right entry number 183 from It was a crispy winters morning and my father's balls popped out of my mouth I hung really stuffed them back into my mouth Oh and sucked deeply they stretched all the way down my throat and I could feel the skin about to tear and relax My sucking as they shot back up out of my throat I felt my sleeping father stir, and he too started sucking my balls. We weren't doing this in a gay way, it was just father and son hanging out. I plunged my thumb deep into my excited father's ring. I swirled my thumb around, flexing it against the internal walls of my father's sweet, sweet ass. I spat my dad's smooth testicles out and let out a moan. My father grabbed my cheeks and forcefully pulled them apart. In a total non-gay way, it was honestly just how me and dad hung out and drove his tongue straight into my asshole. I felt his tongue aggressively shoot in and out, in and out, in and out. My sack bubbled with hot sticky mints. I arched my back and looked back at my father, drilling down into my core with his dry, cracked tongue. Our eyes locked and our balls twisted together. We grabbed each other's faces and smashed our teeth together. All our teeth cracked out of our mouths and then we kissed, with small tooth fragments rolling round on our tongues. It sounded weird, like someone playing with a bag of marbles. Then we parted lips. You have made a fool of my camera, dad. I feel stronger than ever, son, said dad, and he lent in and pecked me on the nose. We detangled ourselves and sat up and left our tent to stretch our legs. We were still on the mountains, waiting for choir and question to find us. The bears had clearly slowed them down. Dad was finally back to full health. Then I hear it. As quick as a bullet, a rock flies past my head and connects with my father's. He's rendered unconscious or possibly dead and his body drops to the floor. In the corner of my eye, I see choir reloading her slingshot. It was time. They had found us! Oh, dude. The battle is about to commence. We left it on a cliffhanger. Oh, man. That's exciting. A strange relationship with your father. Dude, that would be a shit kiss. Cracking your teeth so they're all moshed up in your mouth and then you try to have a patch. You'd be so upset knowing all your teeth are fucked. You'd be able to get in deeper, though, and there'd be teeth rolling around, make a funny sound. Oh, dude. You'd swallow bits of teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd have teeth shit. Do you remember like at blue light discos or like discos when you were young and you'd kiss a girl and some of them were still new to kissing and they'd accidentally bump teeth with you and it was very off-putting. Yeah, really? A teeth bump is okay. You can get past teeth. Oh, no, I accepted it. But it's very like... But you were the teacher at the school. He was kissing the students at the discos. Oh, fucking disco days. Oh, I miss them, man. Oh, let's go to one, man. Dude, let's fucking go to a school disco. Oh. Yeah, because in my head, I was just like... I'm a teacher, I should be doing this. I'm trying to concentrate on kiss, like make sure I kiss good. They didn't want to be embarrassing. In front of the other staff members. And then they hit your teeth and you're like, fuck, I need to restart. Detention! On this day. It's over. In 1456, shelves were invented. Before shelves, people would just put shit all over the floor and even outside in a pile. People would then trip over their belongings at night and actually end up tripping themselves to death. They tripped over so frequently that it very gradually chipped away their bodies until they died. The inventor, Shelf, said the idea came to him while he was fucking his sister's corpse and had nowhere practical to put her after. Fucking shelf, eh? So the guy who invented shelves is a bit of a sick fuck, but thank God, man. Where would we be without shelves today? All that shit would be on the ground. See that? Ground curbside collection. Yeah, there'd be shit all over the ground. We'd be tripping over non-stop. Look at the fucking house here. Literally on every surface is covered. We need more shelves. You need a spring clean. A spring cleaner. Yeah, very good, very, very good. Yeah, baby. That's it. That's the on this directory, baby. I think it's time for- Bomb break time. And we're back! Oh, fuck. Oh, he's already fucking- Michael did two bombs. He needed asthma puffer. How are we going to house fire? Breathing in all that smoke. Imagine, right, imagine being in a house fire and the house is made of condensed, dried weed. Thick, pressed down. You can get a whole ounce to a sheet of paper size and it's a whole house made of it. Yeah, but what? See, burn the house down. Burn the house down and stand in it. No, I don't reckon- Probably. You'd probably die. Yeah, if you stayed in there. I reckon it'd be cool to do an experiment where we do have a shitload of weed and you can like put it in a room and then first one to leave. Yeah, fire chicken. We've spoken about this one. No, no, no, just weed, not fire. We've spoken about fire. Let's do weed. You can stay in a room and stay for as long as you can. Is that what you're saying? It's just weed. You guys need to blow your bones out of the windows more so I can feel it. You can taste it and smell it. We've got to learn how to open the windows. Why don't we just put a hole through the wall? Next question. All right. Top question went to- Billy. Jonah. Question for the cod- Okay. Here we fucking go. Okay. All right. Has there ever been a PO unboxing segment that you've had to completely cut due to involving drugs or something too fucked up? No, the only things- The things we've overcut from the podcast is when people write us really nice letters and they ask for their names not to be mentioned. Other than that, we fucking- we show you guys. We don't say exactly what drug it is because we don't want to get into trouble. But we do show you guys and we love the fucked up shit come. What about that time we got sent shit? Yeah, that was a good time. So, remember how much fun that was, Matt Brown? No. Dude, that was a rough, like, night. We cleared the room out. Yeah, cleared the room out. Shit festers as it sits in mailboxes. We learned. Question. In second place came from Jonathan Miston. Question for the podcast. Who would win in a fight between Fortnight Julian, not Esha Julian, Fortnight Julian or Michael from Skull and Spin Part 2 where he stands up for himself? Yeah, great question. That would be a very close fight. I'm gonna say me. Just because. And yeah, Fortnight Julian would be the only version of Julian where he doesn't carry a weapon. He turns into something else. He becomes, like, a child. He becomes a child when he plays Fortnight. He gets so giggly. He jumps up and down and cracks like this. He starts feeling himself up weirdly. He scratches at himself. It's really itchy. She's fucking crazy the shit he does, man. So, that'd be easy to put down. You just hit it, or kick it, or it's dead. Yeah, Fortnight Julian is basically an infant. It's so weird. He puts all of his brain into gaming so the remaining body and self is fucking dog shit. It's disgusting. It's so twisted up. It's like a rat. Like a rat in a hamster's shore. Dude, it's true. So, I would win. And, but if it was normal, I reckon, in a boxing match Julian would win, I reckon. Oh, you guys are just reminding me. Did you hear they found that little girl? Cleo Smith has been found. They found her here. Dude, I've heard a story about this actually. Here we go. Apparently, some news station has posted saying that it's the wrong face. They've used the wrong person and shown it on their TV. The same name, but they've shown the wrong fucking guy. So now that person's getting death threats threatened to be bashed. He can't leave his house. Oh, the guy who... They showed the wrong person. Oh, that is defamation. Yeah, so now he... Wow, really? Yeah, maybe. I did see a news app. I did see a news article before I left work saying that the actual guy has already been beaten up in jail. Oh, yeah, dude. He's in trouble. Sorry, let's continue. It's unbelievable. It's very low chance of that happening. How many days was it? 18 days? And then she's not only alive, but she's like, well as well. So it's fucking crazy. We helped that. That was pretty much us that found her when we first went missing. So we were the people who actually ended up, I think, I think that we actually found her. Oh, yes! I don't want to, like, fucking throw our names in there. You know, all due credit to everyone else. But I'm pretty sure that we found her. I'm going to say we did, too. Yeah, yeah, I put it on our regimen. Write it down and put it on our regimen. We found Cleo. Next question is from Swampbox69. Boys, do you prefer Pokémon or Dragon Ball Z when you're a kid? I don't watch either. It was more of a get out of the house alive in the mornings type thing rather than watch TV. Michael? What was the question? What's better, Pokémon or Dragon Ball Z, and who would you fuck? I reckon Pokémon when I was younger but then got into Dragon Ball Z when I was a later primary school. But now I'm not into either. I mean, exactly. If you had to fuck a Pokémon who would you fuck? Clefairy. Which Pokémon would you fuck? Haven't we done a video about this? Do you remember that? Pokémon Go. Yeah, remember when that came out? We did a video because we thought it's trending so we'll do a social experiment. And we went out and your hidden camera just association went up to people who we saw were playing Go. And we kept telling them that we wanted to fuck all the Pokémon and shit. We go up to them with the game and be like I remember you did a really good take of you going up saying I'm squirtle. And then you're like looking at him like butt from behind your shoulder so creepily. Jesse and moaning after you'd say Pokémon's name. But anyway, it's a great video. Where is that video? It'd be on the bloody YouTube somewhere mate. Hahahahaha. Oh fuck. We've pushed it mate, not shaking his head. Matt's disappointed. I get it baby. Our next Dis pugman isn't it? He's running it down there. He's actually running it down. It's for the porn on the region mate. Martin Mockel, Fik, Cleo, Smith. Wait Pokemon you'd fuck. I probably have a guard Pikachu man. Is that like speaking speak at your dude? Yeah I'm gonna go with What happens hey the magnet? What about that cat meow Oh Mewtwo, what's that big snore one? Snorlax. Oh fuck dragon or I can we move on? Oh, Matt, can you come sit on my lap dude just for a bit? Lap no come here. No It made him smile. Oh, yeah He likes the thought of it Just come we'll share the seat. Maybe for P.O. Box. Maybe sure. Yeah, maybe P.O. Box. I'm gonna read out the questions. Okay You slept next to me and pissed. Yeah, I know that's why I want you here now Yeah, he needs to piss next question is from David Michael. Why do you have so many damn chairs on your front of your house? Like a chair graveyard Should we let him in on the idea a hundred percent? No, I'll just say there's someone coming No, there's a project video that probably one of my favorite is videos Whatever, let's tell them the idea. I'm too excited. Tell us if this is a shit idea But we're gonna get like 30 of them fucking things zip time all together so they all connect They all move as one we're gonna sit in the very center chair very center chair And we're gonna fucking take that thing down the biggest hills that we can find we have found the hill and it is Dangerous as far so dangerous. I feel kind of protected in the middle. I know that's why that's why we have to see Should I come because well, yeah, we're gonna need you help I do it on a weekend It goes off the road and it's it's Crashes into a tree the force by the time it gets to you won't be that bad. Yeah I reckon it'll be like a it's like a slacker. It's a sponge. It absorbs the shock Yeah, exactly moves down the mountains. Yeah, holy shit So I reckon maybe would we wear a helmet? No, I don't think that we should wear anything Do it naked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah road rash Anyway, that's what that's what the chairs are for all right. So hang in there. Let us shoot idea That's a shit idea. Please tell And now we have to go and buy the rest of the chairs because we're too fucking well Too fucking busy to go get more chairs when fuck curbs all drank out. Yeah, it's gonna be an expensive video. Yeah Next question is from Next one is a comment actually it's from Taylor Dow He just wanted to say he's kind of cute. So I thought I read it out He said hey boys I just wanted to say that the way you are so interactive with the fans is a huge thing that sets you apart from any other internet Personality so it shows you truly care about the supporters. We love you so much. Don't ever stop. Yeah, I agree with that And we are fucking we fucking love you. You can't say I've sent every if I had enough time in the day Can't I send every single one of you one message every fucking day come? But yeah, we fucking he's right. We are we are the best We are very very loving and we give and we give and we give and we expect nothing in return Nothing except maybe a like and a comment And maybe you subscribe and a vote and a vote and sign up to the website and buy some manscaped stuff Yeah, and maybe you go like our Facebook page and watch our watch all the video follow all Instagram accounts that we have Follow Matt's as well and PayPal us some money if you need Send it to me. Definitely you guys send it to Matt's address. Which is 2029 Street 5 so To Avenue as well central remember that so it's upper park It's a real thing, you know, like there's the upper west side in New York I think he's just merged that to upper park. Well, that's that's where it is. It's upper park next question. It's from Fucking try and listen here Can you guys take us through the thought process behind choosing a background for the podcast Michael just sends Connor a bunch of versions and then we just pick the people on the They're assigned up to the website in the UOM chat They send through like all screenshots and then I just send them straight to Connor. Hmm and Lachlan, you know who you are Your shit that you send us is fucking hilarious He literally like a video comes out and he'll have screenshots of the funniest late photos of us doing Send them through like you like land. Yeah Next one is from LXT. This was a video idea that really I thought was good because we've been kind of talking about something similar But he said had a video idea saying which Olympic sport item is the easiest to catch And then he listed off javelin discus shot put hurdle diving board We spoke about the job. Yeah, we see we talked about it. Then I was like, that's not a bad idea Catching all the different ones. We have a story. Yes. We have a story for you. Yeah We forgot about this during shit talk, right? So I've just moved house Grass skin a bit long my little mole. We just broke hand. Do we want to talk about this? Yeah, cut all that Connor. I Think we should leave it in and replay it Little bit of it is all right, we're gonna tell the story So I've moved house grass gonna be along my lawnmower broke mocha gave me the number his gardener The first time he's coming over to my house. He was like, oh, yeah, um, you know, he called me And I was a guy. I just don't touch the guy on the left. It's a bit broken He's like, oh, do you want me never got fixing it? And I was a guy. Yeah, fuck. Yeah And then anyway, I come home and he's like on the front lawn with his finger wraps in his shirt And I was like, oh, what happened? And he was like quite calm But I could see in his face that something was wrong and he was like, oh, I've just hurt my finger And there was like fair bit of blood around And then um, he's like, oh, I've just called the ambulance as well. I was like, oh, right And then he's like He started like panicking a little bit and then um, I had to go and clean all these tools up He's like, oh, do you mind just taking more tools and put them in my truck? And then he freaking went to the ambulance messages the next day And says that the tip of his finger had to be removed I'm like here Like your first knuckle. Yeah first knuckle. That's your second knuckle. Michael. Yeah, just just down from the first knuckle That's a knuckle too. He's fucking stoned. I never thought about that. That's a man. You got knuckles. Like that's a knuckle I thought that was a knuckle. That's a knuckle. I forgot that also the middle one there. That's a knuckle Yeah, I knew about and then on the other hand. It's a whole another story Dude, we're doing a podcast. That was so embarrassing. We got a knuckle here and there's more knuckles There's even three just in this finger. Is there any okay? It stops there The it meant no this continues on see there's another knuckle. Yeah, no one two three you got three and then four five six Right, and then you can go to this one too if you want or we go that way it's up to you either way You got a lot of knuckles, right and this guy had just lost one Yeah So crazy the first time he's come on over to help out my house He loses the tip of his finger and that I basically followed him that Gardener to the hospital because I was picking him up to get the nail out of his fucking calf muscle That's fucking crazy They're fucking two days later. He can't get me fucking ticked to scream that so many hospitals Yeah, we've been on hospital a fair bit recently recently Recently it's okay. All things happen in bad things happen in threes. So we've we're done. We got it out of the way You mean the gardener We're a team You mean the gardener or one unit where the child um, we spiral out of control at times We lose limbs we spiral and get hurt badly, but at the end of the day, we will always come back with that gardener Yeah, he is our number one gardener. He is our unit Next question is from taylor doubt Um, have you ever had any fans wait outside the peer box address? Um, try and uh, you know, is there anything mean ever uncomfortable interaction at the peer box address when you're picking stuff up? No, it'd be whether it'd be cool if they'll imagine if we went to the peer box There's like a few people sleeping there. Oh, wow I'd bring them over. I'd bring them here for the podcast never happened with us I think that we have that that kind of sway that people would sleep on the streets for us Yeah, no, that's never happened. Oh Fuck uh next question is from joshua hughes. Um, is there any day or night of your lives? Do you wish you had caught on camera that if you could you watch it back? That's a great question Yeah, there have been so many nights out and I'm like, fuck. I wish we're basically most of most of our lives Before we've made start making videos. I wish we filmed Oh, man, so many so many memories that are just Fuck oh, dude. I just realized we should wish it because we did get quite a few clips from our europe trip, right Dude michael's camera. Yeah, there's 40 jimmy shitting on the road. There's heaps of shit Oh, okay. Remember I'll ask him for it Yeah, I wonder it was a long time ago. That was like when we were 20. Yeah. Yeah, and like it would just on holidays in europe Next question is from dakota my man. Um Marty michael matty gregory brown. Is there one thing that the other person does often that generally pisses you off? Yeah, man. Look at him. Can't Wakes up in the morning. Can't grabbing Or later when you go past and you're like your brush you're like Under your arm or some shit and tickle. Oh, yeah, I love when he's stretched out somewhere So frustrated not expecting it and I gently run my finger down his skin So mad, baby, I hate it. Oh, I have old footage of you fucking with him Lots of old footage on my computer like just messing with him We should get a dual website video just all the old footage that we can find of ourselves Oh, man. Well, james would have a heap from the house. I've got heaps from your whole house Have you got those shit loads? Do you know where it is? Yeah, it's on my computer and the knife ones No, that one got lost. Yeah, but I think we have other ones But I've got one of marty getting absolutely naked and walking into michael's bedroom And starts like and I think your eyebrow was shaved as well And you start and like michael's like curled up with bozzly asleep on the bed And you're like you start humping on his leg Oh Whispering to him remember even that fucking the yamba trip Is there any footage from that? No, just some photos just some unsavory photos I've got a imagine if we put that photo another one. I'm talking about what of me on all fours at the bed Oh There's this photo I have a marty when I first met him and he's on all fours completely Oh, fuck and you can see this ring of hair that goes around the asshole like perfectly You can see my nutsack hanging down and my face is looking back Yeah, if you look through the gap of that second leg you see my The evil is grin. Oh, that's a night we met michael fallon sickening. Yeah, that's right Yeah, so there's what I don't even know what we're talking about. There's some fucking I wish that we could have filmed our entire lives from 25 Backwards to back when I was watching the wall get pulled down as I was born Yeah, holy shit. You actually were my first words. It was a wall birth. Yeah Next question is from michael Yes, sir Um, marty, would you be willing to seal mon's diaries for the diary entry? So I bet she finds marty doing some fucked up things that never tells anyone but keeps it in her diary Well ask her. Well ask her. See if we can find her diary, huh? Okay. Okay. We've got three more. Um Questioning next words from hunter height height height. Yeah, sorry Will Matthew ever be in the video of Will Matthew ever be in the video of a podcast for the whole episode? Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, we've talked a lot in the next season matt brownwall His head will be in the shot. All right Yeah So, oh just here yeah in the middle somewhere. I want to grab it and do what I want. We'll talk about it. All right Make it like No, we could win. No, you get ahead. I've got an idea. It's not gonna work If you were here, right? If we did good things that you liked we got free matt brown Like rubs and it's good luck. It's considered good luck to matt rub brown to matt rub brown Like oily and we put oil on the head. I've looked at some of the early designs and I don't know if it's gonna work practically We'll see We can do that We can do the the thing those electric saws and go around in a circle here and cut a little hole out Right and your head a little sticking up like let's take this offline. Hey Who has gotten the worst injury conducting a science experiment? Marty or michael or markers had a broken rim and just had a needle completely enter his body So I'd say probably a michael has had the worst injuries. How was your injury when you got the thing in your hand? Yeah, that was okay. It was like a little thumbtack under the skin. It's probably not the worst injury It's just one I had to go to hospital for there's been some very painful videos matthew brown So michael wins Yeah, there's no winning science is the winner It's so true, baby. Seriously That what are you laughing at matthew? He's fucking serious. You asshole Our whole lives are dedicated to this cause you fucking kind We've bet it read a fucking book man. We've solved so many murders and shit. You fucking idiot. You pig We found smith. What murders we found smith Well, we got greg smith. We found greg smith He's our fucking he's like an angel. We founded him. He's like you understand He was nothing before us greg smith is an angel All right, the samford angel watch this I've built a ramp now with the po box and i'm gonna shoot this Paper ball up the ramp and it's gonna hit brown in the skull open your mouth brown Oh, wait, this could work man. This could be a trick shot, man Anyway, next segment has been renamed Oh And this is a segment where we open this shit that you guys sent to a po box. It's right there Do you want me to come sit in your lap? Yeah, you can't have brownie town Just so you can share the chair Also for those wondering if you send shit now and it doesn't make it in time for the finale Just know that we will be checking our po box during our little break And collecting shit. Okay, so keep sending shit. Just keep sending shit during the breaks and there's no pauses on the po box We will always check them. All right With a further ado All right, this says for marty Oh my god, okay, so I have some it's what it's probably the code guy Oh, not the code guy the sick guy and he sent his come in again and marty's just touched the calm No, I didn't yes, you did Fuck you touched the cum. Oh, it was the paper was hard to pull apart come That's where he touched as he was pulling apart. He put his thumb in there. Oh, Jesus. I really don't want to be touching I like that. That was a good prank Oh, look at this. I should have read this first. That's why I was like, no check the other one I sort of wanted one for myself. Dear marty on the other paper. I cummed in the drawn circle This is why I did it. I heard you met a new woman I don't know if it is your new wife girlfriend or something The next time she wants to have sex with you and She plans to report to the cops for rape and getting her pregnant with no proof Get your cock and used it to suck up My cum sperm and when you fuck her and your cock is in her vagina and you push her sperm out of my sperm You go in her and when she goes for a dna test or something It will say this is not marty's child and And you get away with it with free sex. Oh, that's not a bad idea. It's a good concept. That was really well written Wow Fuck I can't believe that was so creative. Now we have someone send in cum finally. We got to keep that Yeah, no, we got cum that he got at me last week or two weeks ago. We've all right As long as we've had cum all right come in the jar. I don't want to be on two cums I don't want to be on an earth where we haven't been sent cum Please send us as much cum as you can. All right. Yeah, send us weird shit. Yeah, send us weird shit We love the weird shit, baby. This segment's going off at the moment. Yeah, it's really popping We are so fucking babe Somebody actually asked a question What are you doing? Somebody asked I come why do I always play I always fiddle with things. I think maybe because I Have really bad anxiety and ADHD Yeah, I guess I do it too anyway, um Read a book Last segment Should we read a book? What's your favorite book somebody asked that question? I'm getting uncomfortable now It's too much. Are you this is your fault? Yeah, I know I want it. Yes. I need more chair My ass hurts. Well, you've got the prank order. So I better go back. We've already filmed that man. You can stay Um, yeah favorite book would probably be scar tissue the fucking autobiography from um Red hot chili peppers from me and anthony keters. That's a fucking good book. Um and to finish with I'd like to do a prank call if I may. Yes, please Well, it's time to get back to the classics. Well, we were thinking today and we thought what worked well last season and then we were continuing thinking and I said Well, why don't um look Why don't I do Arnold fine and try and sell some of my uh meat that I have Michael? Michael said, yeah, I was excited. I want to hear the butcher a new butcher Yeah, a new butcher started a butcher legacy started a brand new fresh one. See if we can Sell some of Arnold finds picked Okay Oh, what sorry Arnold fine Arnold fine Arnold fine fine fine Arnold fine Here we go Hello, my name, uh, Arnold fine. I uh Small a pig breeder north brisman. I call some butcher. I I want to see if you like Buy some uh pig from me. I have a very good price And there's a pig a very strong healthy sick Flicking around in the back there. So, uh, who who can I speak to about maybe selling a pig? Hold on Yeah, what's your heart? Hold on Hello, I dream thing. Hello Adrian. Um, my name Arnold fine I uh small pig breeder in the north brisman And I have a few small pig some large pig And I call butcher to see if maybe I can sell a pig it very very strong healthy pig And I've already sold two pig today. So I try sell Another maybe three four pig some of the big ones. Maybe a little one. See maybe what you think You want to buy a pig? Um, mate to be honest with you talking to the wrong one here. Um, all of that has to go through the the owner pat He's not here at the moment But if you want to give him a call back tomorrow, you can have a chance for me for sure What about you? What if I sell you the pig? I can sell a very good price half price What I normally sell and then you can sell the pig to butcher make three four hundred dollar maybe five hundred dollar Uh, what you think the pig is a very large pig nearly I'd rather make more money on the pokies made. I'm all good. Thank you. What is the pokies, huh? What is that? Is that a pig? type of pig. No, no, no, it's the it's the rattle machines with the flash of lights It's up you might need to press a button and it could be down. Okay, so you say the rattlesnake You buy but not the pig Yeah, yeah, definitely. Okay. Well, um, maybe I have a friend who also sell a rattlesnake Maybe he give I give him your number Yeah, go for it. I'll snap them up. Okay. What's your number? What's your number right down? I'm number one, mate. Always number one and what is the rest of the number? That's it. I'm just number one, buddy They make no sense, huh? Your number one Your number one doesn't make no sense. Do not lie to me. Do not waste my time. Excuse me. Hey, I am talking now I'm not fine. I am talking. You do not waste my time. Your number is not one Why you laugh, huh? My wife is sick. My wife is sick. I need to sell the pig. Okay to buy a medication She flicking she flicking around with the pay at two three pig in the box outside And the neighbor look over the fence and say oh your wife your wife is sick And you love and you give me number one and try and sell a rattlesnake Fuck the fuck at the rattlesnake You peak you are peak I fuck you. I fuck you You call the rest of my time. I tell all other butcher do Waveless of fast Yeah, you just tell him sniffy says Fresh peak You all fresh peak I love how to fire me fire it up. It's so cute. Oh, I fuck you. I fuck you Dude, that was Luigi next week. It's the fucking season finale. So don't forget that We got Brandon Novak interview coming on And we got fucking some cool shit coming on the website. There's some cool shit happening Remember if you want to support us Give the video a like or a subscribe or a comment. If you don't know what to comment comment comment. There's no excuse Matt Brown Vote for the podcast and don't forget to vote for the listeners choice award. Okay. The link is in the fucking description It'll take you like two or three minutes. You can vote multiple times If you want Apparently a funny. Yeah, I haven't tried that hill he said Yeah, mon voted a few times But fucking Everyone just do it. Thank you. And you know, you know why? Because we the best We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best best. We're the best. We're the best. Say it Matt Brown. Say it Weather. Weather. Weather. Weather. Weather. Weather what? We're the best. Say it. Say it. We're the best That's better Yeah, that's right, Matt