 Hi dear friends, I am coming to you with a different video We're just gonna chat for hopefully just 10 minutes here and I'm going to tell you what's been going on with me So about six weeks ago I was filming for you guys and I was sitting exactly here and I started to feel real woozy Like I was just kind of swirly. You know how you get that vertigo feeling occasionally That's kind of what I was feeling going around and around and I just thought okay. I'm not gonna be able to film today I don't know what my problem is so my camera sits right where you guys are looking at and I picked my camera and the tripod and the ring light up and I put it just away from me and I I felt myself going and The next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor and I had passed out. I have no idea how much time had gone by I don't know how long I was out for but I felt terrible and so I'm right by my bed And I just basically climbed up on my bed and went to sleep. I guess like I might have passed out again and Just next thing I know I'm waking up and it's two hours later, and I am just I felt awful and then for the next Probably six seven days. I did feel really nasty so That being said this has been coming on to where I've been having these bouts of what I felt like was vertigo or low blood sugar or something to where I felt very faint and I would like gray out and then I would just stop because I didn't want to pass out again And I just stopped whatever I was doing. I would lay across the counter Whatever I needed to do sit on the floor until that passed and just feeling so odd really odd in the in the interim of all of this I have my whole life I've had a heart murmur a non a benign heart murmur. I was born with it The doctor actually told me about it when I was like almost 40 And I didn't even know that whole time that I'd had it and he said well They probably didn't say anything to you because it's one that we hear you don't have to worry about it And I was like okay, and I asked him at that time What about your heart jumping or skipping or feeling palpitations like your heart's jumping around and he said that's normal Everybody gets it and I have had that my whole life, too. I've had that feeling my whole life But since that episode I have been able to feel my heart You know how when you your heart beats and everything's going fine. You don't think about your heart You don't even it's there. You don't know your heart's beating. It just does its job It's like breathing you don't think about your lungs taking in the air and you know whether they're pumping and my heart was Jumping around skipping around making me feel like I was out of breath and I had told my husband I think it was on a Monday night and we were in bed and I said honey I think I'm gonna go to the doctor and just ask them what this could possibly be about because it just doesn't feel right so I let it go another five six days and I Told my son I'm gonna go to the urgent care I went to urgent care and I just told the physician. I said I am feeling like my heart is jumping out of my chest I don't understand what's going on. I don't feel good. I feel like I'm gonna faint all the time They put me up on an EKG and she said Do you normally have an abnormal EKG and I said no, I've never you know I had surgery for my bariatric surgery In July of 2019 that was okay And then a week later I was rushed into emergency surgery for it and my my EKGs were fine then too. Well She said to me she said I don't think I can do anything for you I believe that you need to go down to the emergency room and have them evaluate you because they'll have doctors that can talk to you and And so at this point I'm spooked. I'm freaking out. I'm thinking what's wrong with my heart, you know My dad has really a lot of heart disease. He's had five-way bypass He's had tons of stints put in different things. My mother has a pacemaker. So I'm thinking. Oh my gosh I'm starting that and I'm just barely over 50. I'm 52 this year So I was really just spooked. They let me drive down from the urgent care Which was about five seven miles away from the hospital. They let me drive my car So I figured it couldn't be anything too too bad, right? I you know had to be okay so I get in there and they did another EKG immediately and The technicians said how long have you had branch bundle blockage and I look at him and I'm like What you know, I was freaking out. I'm like what what you know, and he said okay He said lots of people have this you've probably had it forever and I said no, I haven't I know I haven't because I've had Cessarians I've had Operations, you know, I've had EKG's just specifically to do a baseline of my heart like four or five years ago And so it took about Probably 40 45 minutes before there was even a bed open for me And I also thought took that as a good sign too because it's like they're not gonna Let me sit here if I'm in the middle of a heart attack although I go back in there and they immediately do all of the heart attack tests that you get your enzymes and They repeat that after three hours to see if they're elevated at all And so I'm sitting there the doctor comes in he starts to explain what it is it's called a left bundle branch block and Basically what it is is for some reason the nerves at the top of the heart or the signals from the top of the heart Are not getting into the branch or the bundle branches on the bottom of the heart on the left side To tell it to beat a normal beat and it is considered heart damage It can be a big deal It cannot be a big deal and what I read about it is when it's a big deal is when people actually come in because they're fainting Hello, so I'm just like okay, so then I'm spooked I'm really worried at this point. I'm freaking out. I'm calling my kids I'm trying to you know figure out what in the world. They make sure that I wasn't in any danger I wasn't having a heart attack My heart was doing what are called PVC's which are an abnormal palpitation that we could actually watch on the heart monitor You know, everybody's heart normally beats up and down like this Well, mine was going beat beat beat and then I do a big dive and then it'd skip over and That is a palpitation or an abnormal heartbeat and that comes from this So basically what they do is they send me home and they, you know, told me to follow up with a cardiologist Well, the next day the ER room Want you to do this survey about whether or not you were helped to know what to do Well, no, I wasn't because they were in such a huge mess and I get it. I'm not trying to be a complainer The nurse had to leave me at one point and go put in a chest tube because somebody couldn't breathe I mean what they're going through. Oh my goodness. I just can't even imagine these health care workers. They're just Wow, they're overwhelmed. I even talked to the nurse later on and asked her, you know How full they were and she said we can't take another patient all of our ICU beds are full all of our regular beds are full We've corned off other parts of the hospital for ICU and they she said we're just we're Completely overwhelmed and this is the biggest city in Utah either. This is a smaller city in Utah So they are very very overwhelmed and I too my heart goes out to them because I can't imagine what they're going through But back to this story. So anyway, the next day I got that call and the nurse said well, okay I'm gonna help you figure this out. So she got on with the cardiologist found out that the cardiologist had Ordered me a stress test a monitor that I wear for 24 hours to watch how the beats are going and then high smuggers And then also an echocardiogram that tells the health of the heart how the valves are acting How the ventricles are acting all of that stuff. So three days later. I mean, I am like half passing out most of the time I'm just feeling horrible called up that same guy that got me hooked up for the tests And he said I would really like you to go to emergency either call 9-1-1 or just go to emergency And so I did and as they're doing all of my vitals and getting that initial EKG He was saying that he saw some of those downbeats, which they didn't see on the first EKG and So again, I'm just flipped out. I get back in there They set me on a faulty heart monitor that was saying that my beats were 175 per minute And it was measuring my beats double instead of like you go dub dub, you know, and so I Was just absolutely freaked out freaking out thinking I was in VTAC and I was you know My heart was gonna explode whatever. Well, they hadn't set the monitor the right way So finally when they did that they got it all situated and they could watch because it was so much more prominent this time as far as the downbeats before I was just having occasional downbeats, but this time I'm having You know them be in there like I don't know like 15 to 20 per minute I'm having a downbeat where the heart the the signal isn't going right So they decide they're going to do my stress test right that day They inject nuclear dye into your veins and they go you go through like a CAT scan machine And you get the arteries tested for calcium or clogs or you know any buildup of plaque or anything like that that came back Normal completely normal 100% He said yours was better than mine and this is a 40 year old doctor telling me yours is better than mine was and So I'm she's being very distracting, you know, I don't want to freak out at this point because I know I've got heart damage They've already told me that and they've already told me that I have the PVC's which is an irregular heartbeat But all of the tests haven't come back yet except for the one So then they put me on a monitor, which I had to wear overnight To tell how many of the downbeats I had and then they did the echocardiogram The echocardiogram was showing everything. He's he called it pristine my my heart's in pristine condition except for the one part that's damaged, which is the signal part at the bottom where all of the nerves come together at the bottom and So yeah, everything was good Even the heart monitor that showed I had a few PVC's wasn't anything that was terribly LARMING for them because there just wasn't more than what they normally see in people that are you know got a little bit of heart damage So long story short actually long story long I Basically am going to have to live with the palpitations and the blacking out Nobody seems to know anything they he said that he actually my cardiologist called one of the foremost cardiologists on the East Coast that what he used to be a colleague of and he you know gave him all of my tests results and Had him look at them all and he couldn't figure out either. I'm basically a very healthy 52-year-old woman that is in menopause, but I am passing out and it's not anything to do with blood sugar It's not anything to do with my liver my kidneys Anything they did every test they could think of at that point and there was nothing at all And so the doctors are stumped. I'm stumped I'm just gonna have to live with the fact that my heart beats out of my chest at times a lot and That I get really swirly the other thing that it does and that's really why I came on here more than anything It's to talk about how exhausted I am for some reason. I am absolutely exhausted now that could be nerves I have chronic panic disorder I you know, I can't even get in the shower without my husband being here because I will get a panic attack in the shower It's just who I am. I have been through four nervous breakdowns complete total nervous breakdowns I've had to be hospitalized that many times for it And so I live with those kinds of things you guys that have been here with me You know that my handshake that's part of my nervous disorder It's also a part of my DNA my dad has that to to an extent He never had it quite as bad as I do But it is just a disability that I've lived with and now this is just a disability that I've got to get used to too So as I talk about this this particular video I probably won't get to every comment and I do apologize But please note that I read everyone especially if you get a little heart next to your name or next to your comment I definitely read them. I appreciate them. I'm so blessed to have so many friends and We are almost at 50,000 and you know my channel for the past six months has taken a nosedive In views and in subscribers. I was getting about a thousand subscribers per month and last month I got under 200 so I don't know what's going on with my channel I'm putting out the same exact content and I'm trying to improve my content game and I've always Uploaded weekly never, you know skipped times, but you know YouTube's crazy their algorithm. Who knows? I mean somebody can have a pimple on their butt and get a video Goes viral and there's no rhyme Murray's into it. What at whatsoever and I've accepted that at this point I've been on YouTube. This is going on almost six years now So some of the women that joined at the same time as I did are Stephanie Marie and Risa and Lisa and they all have you know almost 200,000 subscribers I don't know what I did wrong and I just am thankful that I'm where I'm at But at the same time I know that it's a little bit different after you hit 50 4550 and you don't you know I don't I'm not able to get fillers. I'm not perfect. I don't have I don't have the perfect voice All of those things that play into you having a very successful YouTube channel but I feel like I'm a success because of you guys and That's not gonna stop me. I mean, I'm still gonna do videos for you I'm still gonna be here, but at the same time I have to slow down So I'm going to be definitely doing two videos a week one on Monday one on Thursday I will be uploading anywhere between two and four that is my prime time to be able to Upload because I know so many of you watch a little bit later in the day after you've gotten either your work done or your chores done And so that's my time that I'll be uploading and I might stick in an extra video in there But my days of doing three videos a week are gonna slow down because I need to slow down for my health I need to rest more and take more time for myself for my husband and my my kids and what can come next? 2020 has been the year of hell for everyone. I know it has I know that you've all been through it I mean it has been a year. It's just really been a year So I'm ready for it to go bye-bye and I think that most of us are it's just one of those things Have you any of you seen the commercial yet for match.com aware the devil hooks up with 2020 and it's talking about them being I'm the perfect match for each other. Yeah, I think they're I think they got that one right It's pretty funny. If you haven't seen it yet, maybe Google it. That's everything I just want to tell you how much I love you and I appreciate you and how valuable you are to me I know that I wouldn't be at 50,000 if it wasn't for you all and I'm so thankful that you're here with me And I can't tell you enough what kind of a brightness you bring into my life, and I love each and every one of you Thank you again. I will see you in my next video. Take care of yourselves. Please stay safe and I will talk to you very soon Bye-bye friends