 My name is Jimmy his name is Jake and this is the weekly dumb Jake. How are you Jimmy? I'm good Zach our guy editing his butt off. We're actually going unedited this whole episode. No edits I'm good man. Sports are pretty hot in the street Baseball boxing football. Oh my when you close your eyes and think of a street. How many lanes? highway Whoa, how many burgers do you think you eat in a year? This is a question I was pondering while I was gonna massage the other day and I couldn't figure out I was like in the summer I probably go two times a week, which is you know For three months probably two times a week minimum and then I think there's a three month stretch in the winter Where it's maybe once a month. What's your number over this? So I think my number is around 75 a year. Okay. I'm probably a little below that I have some buddies that'll eat multiple burgers a day for me. It's the bun. I Can't carb like that speaking of let's get right into the sports. Yeah, let's go from the top. Okay Jake, can you tell me about the sports? Jim a lot of baseball being played and boy Was it a doozy last night in Fenway Park? The Boston Red Sox the Tampa Bay Rays They play 13 innings 14 innings and the rules came into play and Jim. That's always Baseball has been around for a hundred years and you think you've seen it all and you know You haven't seen it all at all and in a playoff game the ball hits the top of the wall bounces hits the player goes Hit over the home run fence and you think that should maybe help out the batting team But it didn't help out the fielding team and the Rays Would have easily scored and they don't and then you go to the rule book and there's a rule for that exact scenario and It's somewhat weird, but somewhat accurate and the Red Sox win It's one of Jim's dark favorite things about baseball is that at one point in 1871 some dingleberry accidentally hit the ball out of the field and they're like, oh We need a rule for that and here we are today 2024 and it just happened at today's I think what actually happened was a ball once Ricochet and it was rolling back to the outfield and he kicked it underneath the fence there was a big hole under the fence and They made a rule congrats to the Red Sox on one in the world series Wow Jim that sports was pretty sporty. Can we talk about this? Almost a breakdown don't even need to fucking sound. Yeah, we got an animal attack. We got an animal attack This is happening today. This happened to James Paxton when he was on the Seattle Mariners This happened to that dude's Paxton played it super cool this dude's wife in the documentary the staircase maybe and here's a staircase she died They think maybe a bird and it happened to this good at the Seahawks game So it's something about Seattle something all the eagle attacks happened in Seattle in the major sporting world Is this the same Seahawk? Time of the home. She turned this dude into a statue. I'll break it down real quick There's a lady in the top left kind of looking like Then there's a guy behind kind of smiling and the dude just goes statue credit to him because I think I would have been You know Honestly your bird on your back fighting tactics or the best tactics I've seen on you you've got this punch Down yeah, a lot of little kids want shoulder eyes. I don't want to give them to him. Hey Seattle How about no more loose birds of prey? Hate to be the stickler if it's the same eagle and the same handler like something's up The game plan is altered. God. I wonder how much animals think they're the time magazine pause pause real quick The cover of time magazine right now is what animals think with a dog on it And I almost bought it for you today before I came in to to open it up on weekly dumb And I had no idea the stories man. I saw this and I thought of Jake Jim speaking of time if you're having trouble with your Erection get Roman for a better time limp dick bad hard dick good Can you tell me about the more sports Jake Jim doesn't get much better than this Andy Murray tennis star Puts his smelly shoes outside. Sure. That's standard operating procedure. He puts them under his car All right has his wedding ring attached and Overnight the shoe and ring gets stolen. I had a lot of questions. It's not his house It's not a tennis club. This was in the parking lot of the hotel So I'm guessing he didn't want to bring his smelly shoes through the hallways into the elevator and sit him in his own place I'm guessing he probably had a balcony. Maybe you could have put him there I'm guessing the wedding ring. He ties it to his shoes feels like a good luck thing, right? I think it's because I want to play with the wedding ring. I like good luck Like it's still attached to you, right? I don't know but this is such guy stuff This is like when you go to the beach and you put your keys in the foot of your shoe or me and my dad used to put Our keys in the front left tire whenever we played baseball and you just leave stuff place the guys You're like no one's gonna take it and someone took it But no, this is the definition of this makes sense to any guy like I'm gonna put my sneakers Outside under the car so nobody steals them then they get stolen and everyone's like well, yeah Yeah, yeah, but when you're doing it at the time you're like this is foolproof Speaking about a foolproof Jim speaking about foolproof speaking about fools not sports bang speaking about fools The Christ Church City Council in New Zealand is is gonna stop paying the wizard But fools. Yeah, they pay the wizard. He looks like this act. I don't know if you've seen it He looks like that. It's put it all up. Put it there put it on everywhere. Yeah, where's our You're a wizard. I mean he looks like a wizard. So he does a great job there over the last 23 years He's earned 368 thousand dollars about 20 grand a year and they said, you know, maybe we don't pay the wizard anymore I don't know what he's doing him anymore and the wizard said this is the best the wizard said There are a bunch of bureaucrats who have no imagination and I got to be honest if you pay a wizard for wizard tasks You have to have an imagination. So I think everything adds up here. I think they're all on the same page This breaks my little Tuscaloosa heart. I mean If you're gonna pay a wizard 23 years because you're in New Zealand So, yeah, you got to have a wizard in your town You can't cut the cord on that 16k that's like a penny a week from every person in New Zealand math bot This sucks and the guy is a wizard This guy has been a wizard for 23 years. You can't take that from him. Fuck you New Zealand This guy's dick doesn't work. He should call Roman his dick works. So well. He's a wizard. Roman's his wizard I love this guy. That guy smells admit it that he smells How do you have those hats do you think he has a lot but I respect you like a lot of those hats my favorite character from Harry Potter You know this three two one sorting hat sorting hat edit me So I said it at the same time three two one sorting hat same time They said the sheet says we're giving it to Jake is his birthday We have an employee working on a birthday right now my wife Yeah, we have someone creating a birthday. Yep That feels like a step above what I'm at if your birthday is October 11th You just want employee of the week or if you're in the early Parts of labor you want to employ the week. So I've rolled you in I rolled Katie and I rolled a lot of people to all the births Except if your name is George and now I'm giving birth to the wizard from before I have his head now And I've thrown him on Jake's I Feel good Support for today's show was brought to you by Roman with Roman you can get a free online Evaluation and ongoing care for ED all from the comfort and privacy of your home a US licensed health care professional Will work with you to find the best treatment plan if medication is appropriate It ships to you free with two-day shipping the whole process is straightforward and discreet getting started as simple Just go to get roman.com slash dumb and complete an online visit take care of your ED without leaving home Complete an online visit today to connect with the doctor and take care of it Go to get roman.com slash dumb now to get $15 off your first month There's a straightforward way to take care of ED get roman.com slash dumb get started now to save $15 off your first month of treatment I mean baseball is the most bizarre spark baseball is one of the more bizarre sports because Really is but that's part line Baseball is a bizarre spark One of the more bizarre sparts out there. I Mean baseball is bizarre. Yes baseball is a bizarre sport. It's been around for Baseballs of God damn it Spark And that's the news from Fargo today I