 Hello, everyone. Welcome. We're going to give everybody just a minute to get into the room and we will begin very shortly. Thanks for joining. Hi, everyone. Thank you for joining this webinar today. I'm Jose so guard deputy director for the office of nightlife. For those of you who don't know, we are a dedicated non enforcement liaison between the city and the nightlife industry. We work to support businesses navigating city bureaucracy, improve quality of life relations between venues and residents, promote and protect nightlife culture and support, creating safer spaces, which is what we are doing here today. If you have any issues or questions about your nightlife and your space, please always feel free to reach out to us directly at nightlife at media dot nyc dot gov. That email address is on the screen right now. And you can follow us on our social media accounts at nyc nightlife gov. So today's webinar is part of a new series of courses that we've recently created called night school or nightlife industry training and education. Which will be held both virtually and in person. This is a series to share resources and trainings for owners workers and patrons in the nightlife community. Addressing how best to engage with city agencies, opening and operating nightlife businesses proactive harm reduction tools quality of life issues and a lot more. So you can find out more information at nyc dot gov slash night school. That's n i t e school. And we will put that link in the chat as well. So the safety and well being of the nightlife community is a top priority for our office. And we know that nightlife are places where people look out for each other. And we can all do our part to help create safer spaces in our venues. The webinar today will feature a presentation from out smart nyc, which is a crisis prevention and bystander intervention program that works with nightlife venues to train your staff to help prevent sexual harassment and other crisis situations. We're very excited to partner with them to help bring you some tools and tips today and learn how to work with them to give your staff some additional training to recognize and respond to incidents in your venues should they occur. Just a quick disclaimer, as is often the case when we're talking about health and safety issues in nightlife, we want to make sure to know that these incidents unfortunately can and do happen in many different kinds of settings. It's not just a nightlife specific issue. We're not targeting nightlife, but we want you to have the tools and resources that you need and to be as prepared as possible when you're out at night or wherever else you are. Before we get to the training, just want to add a quick additional housekeeping note. You can use the Q and a feature in the zoom to let us know your questions throughout the meeting and we've also enabled the chat for today after the presentation. We'll have some time for Q and a and hopefully a little bit of discussion. In addition to today's training, I'm also happy to be joined by my colleague from the commission on gender equity. Sarah Milner Berry. She is the program and policy analyst in the public safety unit at CGE and she is here to share a couple brief updates on their work as well as some info about a really important campaign that is currently underway right now. So thanks for joining us Sarah floor is yours. Great. Thank you so much Jose. And it's really lovely to be here. Thank you for inviting me as have a mentioned, I am the policy and program analyst for safety at the Commission on gender equity, and I use she her hers pronouns. So I just wanted to give a very brief kind of blurb about the Commission on gender equity in case folks are not familiar with what we do. So we are a mayoral office who are dedicated to add mental equity barriers across New York City that face girls, women, intersex, transgender, gender non binary and gender non conforming people. We have three areas of focus. So I work on our safety portfolio. We also have a health and reproductive justice portfolio, as well as an economic mobility and opportunity portfolio. So one of the ways that we do our work is cross sector and interagency collaboration, which is how I'm able to be here today presenting. Obviously the safety portfolio intersects with the work that you are all doing here today. And in particular, we are now in the midst of our 16 days of activism against gender based violence campaign that the city has been participating in since 2014. So a couple of years, but we really want to, you know, try to span this year. We have some in person events going on. And we have dedicated a new city website to the campaign. So I'm just going to share a little bit about the 16 days campaign and how you all can get involved in it. And before I do that, I should say that we leave this campaign with the mayor's office to end domestic and gender based violence and GBB, and with the mayor's office of equity. So this is sort of a multi agency campaign. And I know that my colleagues and GBB wanted to be here. And I am going to share a little bit on their behalf. So, before I talk about it, I just want to give a brief definition of gender based violence. I'm sure, you know, you all are aware, but gender based violence is emotional, physical, verbal, sexual, economic or structural abuse that is rooted in exploiting the power relationships between genders so it shows up in a number, you know, many, many different ways from human trafficking to female dental cutting to domestic violence. So it's it's really wide ranging and it's really impacting all of our communities across New York City and across the country. So as part of this campaign we hold events we do outreach community gathering is educational materials, and we promote the resources that the city operates for survivors of domestic and gender based violence. So those are the family justice centers that are in each of the five boroughs across the city that our colleagues at GBB operate. So there are a lot of events that are taking place. The campaign began on November 25. It goes till December 10. So in the next couple of days there are panels. There is a live reading of a play that is focused on domestic violence there's a VR exhibit. There's also a couple of bystander intervention trainings actually operated by our partners at right to be so those are public they're free they're open to anyone. You can access and sign up for those events on the website which is nyc.gov slash 16 days I will drop in the chat for you. And outside of those events on the website you'll also find kind of social media assets are toolkit which provides more information on gender based violence and what you can do to prevent it, as well as resources. So I think that's all I have but please reach out to me with any questions. I will drop my email and that website and I'm so happy to be here and looking forward to this training thank you all so much. Wonderful. Thank you so much Sarah. I'm really excited to see that campaign and and the impact that it's making. So without further ado, I'd like to introduce today's training. This will be conducted by our partners who are part of the outsmart NYC partnership. First, we have Eric McGriff, who is the prevention coordinator at the crime victims treatment center or CVTC. Amy Northup is the nightlife community liaison also at CVTC. And Scarlett Thompson is the prevention coordinator at the New York City Alliance against sexual assault. So thank you so much. All three of you for being with us, Eric, Amy and Scarlett. So take it away. Thank you so much. I am going to share my screen really quickly. And we will get into it. Okay. Slide show. Here we go. Amy, you want to you want to kick us off. Sure, you're driving the slides right about technology. Okay. Hi everybody also. We just got wonderful info from Jose. Thank you. As you mentioned, I am the nightlife community liaison I am one of two on our team right now Jasmine is also here somewhere. Just not on the panel today but you may know Jasmine as DJ Nina vicious she's the best. So we have our other half of the nightlife community team. And then we have Eric and we have Scarlett. So you can skip to the next slide here you'll notice that we are very specifically a partnership between industries. We are not just prevention coordinators therapists preventionists and we are not just nightlife professionals bartenders owners managers. We are also partners in the partnership of that. So you can see here's some of the people in the past or present who have partnered with us CBTC Eric and I work for New York City Alliance against sexual assault to Scarlett looks for. We also have partners or have had partners at Mount Sinai Brooklyn Allied bars and restaurants and the New York City Hospitality Alliance. And we work together to address sexual violence in nightlife and hospitality. So just a little bit of information about our history outsmart is really supported a lot by funds that come direct with well come from the Department of Health by from the CDC the Center for Disease Control in 2007 they started committing more funding to community level approaches to preventing violence. If you don't know the CDC addresses violence very much like it does address diseases and Kobe and everything so we use some of their models. We worked with Project Envision at Mount Sinai Beth Israel Victim Services and with outsmart BK Dave Rosen regret Allied bars and restaurants who already had campaigns started on the ground to work with the New York City Nightlife For us about 10 years ago we as victim service providers at the Crime Victim Center noticed an uptick in nightlife sexual assaults. And because we currently work on task forces with NYPD with the hospitals with other nonprofits that provide resources most victims go to because most victims don't go to please they don't go to the EEOC or to the state. Right. We used our information to develop a curriculum that we thought would help bridge the gap and meet the needs of survivors in nightlife and hospitality spaces and our approach is like we know stuff is going to happen that you don't have control over. So we're going to help you all identify options before harm happens. We're going to help you intervene in moments when harm is escalating or right after it happens, but we're also going to help you after harm happens because we know there are a lot you might not be there you might freeze you might be afraid you might not know what to do. So even in those moments. That's why we're here to help you create a referral send someone to someone like us who can believe your survivor. If you aren't able to say I believe you especially when it's an employee. So we provide a lot of different supports and since our created our creation. We've collaborated with a lot of venues you've worked with about 80 venues to provide training, and even more to provide support events campaigns. We're going to get more into that later. Thank you Eric and Amy. So I'm going to talk a little bit about our mission, which again we'll kind of we're kind of breezing through all this more like, you know, informational stuff and then we're going to get into some tips and tricks later. But our mission like has kind of been stated, we really want to empower nightlife folks to prevent and respond to sexual violence so a couple different components of that. Education and training kind of go hand in hand, we have a whole slide dedicated to what we can offer you so hold on tight for that. But then another really big component is the community mobilization so we work really closely with people who work in nightlife. We host collective meetings. We host just parties times for nightlife folks to like share space and be in community together. We work with some health equity consultants who are current nightlife workers who are absolutely amazing helping us with our curriculum. The New York City Hospitality Alliance just all these networks because we know that change can't really happen unless it's coming from the community members and unless there's really a want and a need. So that's really a core part of outsmart and then finally expanding access to supportive services so Eric also kind of just mentioned this but really we recognize that not pretty much any nightlife establishments are necessarily going to have like a massive HR team 15 people like coordinating all those human resource things that that really need to be taken care of in a workplace. So we try to step in where we can to offer people support services get them connected to whether it's an advocate who can talk about an experience of sexual violence or help someone who's in a domestic violence situation. Talk about immigration rights like any, any type of support services that people need we will connect them to. Okay, we believe Amy take it away. I'm going to go off the slide here a little bit to just sort of add some stuff to this but I mentioned earlier that well let me talk about this okay the nightlife and hospitality industries are uniquely positioned to be community leaders and preventing violence. I try to believe that we're in a good place to be community leaders in any kind of culture change. They are the most on on the ground with humanity of any other industry people come to our jobs after they leave theirs. And they come and they are kind of more their whole selves and when they leave their corporate nine to five HR structure places so that is, yeah I see a question there absolutely. Let's do this. Let's meet read this, who's we is in nightlife coalition against sexual assault so when I'm saying we I am speaking about out smart which includes a coalition of nightlife professionals as well as the partners at CVTC and the Alliance people I'm a long time bartender manager. I've worked in nightlife for 15 years I also work now predominantly actually as an intimacy coordinator and film and television so I'm specifically kind of working I know you're good in experts that don't have sort of an HR structure or don't have a classic structure of workplace there's a turnover there's a lot of different bosses coming in and out the interactions between the staff and you know the, the, the, the customers are really unique so that we don't. We don't, we know that we can't one size fit all copy and paste traditional prevention and harassment efforts from a corporate environment into an industry like nightlife. So you can hit that next point scarlet that will kind of lead us to this so we believe that the industry professionals nightlife professionals are the experts in their spaces and they deserve training and education that is tailored to that expertise. Not only of their industry but of their venue we are really venue specific in the way that we approach our training. I know, I know from like years of being a bartender and all the different places I've worked that like that little HR video that you have to watch that's like sexual harassment day or as part of your onboarding. In my experience it actually really makes things worse it always escalates harassment in the workplace. We're a couple of days after everybody has to watch it because it's a joke because it is so not applicable to the way that we work and the way that we have to interact and the way that we make our money that it almost kind of breeds this like, well this doesn't apply to us so we don't get to have it we don't get to have boundaries in this industry we don't get to have rights in this industry because this version doesn't apply to this so we really seek to do better than that to come in and say yeah we can do that we can have that it's just going to look a little bit different, and it needs to be venue and culture specific. We also as you've heard me kind of talk about this we definitely go beyond patron to patron, we know that we cannot talk about patron safety without it also acknowledging the harm that industry workers experience from patrons co workers systems industry norms. So we really include that in our training as well. So we're really getting reality based about the work that we're doing, we are going to talk really realistically about the things that happen in your venues what your space looks like. Maybe some of the stuff that would be off limits to discuss and other spaces we're going to talk about. And we really believe in meeting theory with practice so we're going to come, you know folks like Eric and scarlet who are experts in what works to prevent harm and violence are going to meet people with the nightlife expertise that is on that team. And we're going to talk about okay how does this option you'll see this later we'll demonstrate a little bit with some tips of like, okay this is the tip that you would get at a bystander intervention training. This is how it applies to your venue this is what it might look like on your staff. What have I missed here. Scarlet, what did I not talk about yet. Oh the sustainable culture change is possible when we build collaborative relationships between industries and their surrounding communities to address issues of violence and harm. Again, that's just speaking to the collaboration and the partnership that is core to who we are and what we do. And I think scarlet covered this and expanding industry access to free safe supportive and confidential services for survivors of violence. We recognize that it needs to go beyond HR and policing and that there are other. We just want to make sure people know that those resources are actually there for this industry. So in terms of what resources outsmart can be like confusing for a lot of folks are a lot of options there are a lot of ways that we customize our work to meet the specific needs of venues or communities. So we like to tell people think of our services as a menu of options. For us we know when you come to a survivor the best thing to do is find ways to give them options and give them power as much as possible and letting them choose what happens next so we do that here. Right, we're going to tell you about our services the education and training community advocacy the resources and support services and we're going to say where can you start. What do you have time to do were there any recent crises that you have to respond to that are really urgent right now what are the things you're set for interested in doing and then we'll come to you as folks who are paid to do this work like treat us like consultants the cool thing is we come from a nonprofit structure. So for any New York City venue we want we're not going to charge you. We're just extra labor to help you provide the extra support that we know is not being provided a lot of the time to the industry or like folks don't know exists like at CBTC again a lot of folks don't know that you have free legal medical services. Also CBTC my job, we are part of New York City's mass casualty response team, right so after large scale instance, like the ones we've been seeing in the news, our staff is prepared to help support you after those like we have contingencies for it. So yeah, we let you pick what you like, and then we customize it to meet what you. Yeah, your needs and then we hope that we will continue partnership as we go on. Yeah, thank you Eric. So I'm going to dive into this a little bit more like I said before so again, this the purpose of what we're doing where we're going today we're giving you a little bit of information now about, you know what we can offer you and then actually as soon as the next slide. We're going to get into some actual activities that we do in the trainings because we're assuming the folks who are on this webinar today are nightlife professionals whether your staff bartender bar back management owner. So we're tailoring this really to nightlife folks right now. And so here are all the things that you know, we'll have a slide at the end that tells you how to get in contact with us here all the kind of things you can ask for in terms of training so by standard intervention is obviously one of the biggest ones that we want to be talking about in sexual assault prevention in in our world. We have a very, you know, lengthy bystander intervention training if somebody wants to really just focus on that part of prevention, happy to do that. But then we also have something like trauma 101 or supporting people who have been harmed which will give a little sneak peek of later. So really, this is about understanding what happens in the brain when somebody experiences sexual assault or other forms of harm. And what does it look like to provide a trauma informed response to that sexual violence 101 so also understanding why does harm happen, like what harms are we actually talking about when we talk about sexual violence because we're not just talking about one very specific type of incident that many people like my picture when they were talking about sexual violence we're talking about a spectrum of harm so this is really understanding like why do people cause harm. What does that harm look like and how do we respond to it. Continuing education so this is actually some of these have been on pause since coven. I mean, a lot of things in the nightlife industry I think as we all know we're put on pause during coven. So this is something we've done in the past that we're revamping next year which is just a series of opportunities for any nightlife person to come to that are continuing education whether you've gotten a training from us before or whether you want one in the future. So work like in the engaging men series with the bartenders guild harm reduction with the drug policy alliance or supporting LGBTQ plus communities with thrive. We have venue specific workshops, this is really like what we do I would say for the majority of the spaces that we go to you reach out to us we say okay, what do you want to talk about, what are you seeing happening in your space. What kind of skills does your staff want to be building and we can pull from bystander intervention trauma 101 sexual violence 101 all those things and we make a workshop just for your space, and it can be however long, or however short you need it to be because it's really hard to get a staff together for any extended period of time with nightlife folks. And then finally, this is what I'm very excited about is we're working on a management training which we have done in the past as well. In collaboration with the New York City Hospitality Alliance, we're hoping to really revamp this next year and so this is also a plug. So whatever capacity you work in in nightlife if you are interested in talking about like what management can and should be doing in order to better respond to the needs of their staff and also to prevent harm from happening in their spaces. So we're doing a management and owner specific training. But before we do that, we're going to be working with a working group. So we want managers, owners, but then also people who are not managers and owners so bar staff bar back servers to really come and talk about like what policies are actually practical to suggest to a manager owner that would protect their workers. What kind of limitations do you have as a mandated reporter or as an owner when you're, you know, trying to also make money. So that's all that kind of stuff that we want to cover in the management training. And again, you will have the opportunity to read all our information at the end so you can figure out how to get in contact with us to bring any or all of these to your spaces. Okay, Amy. Okay, I think our chat is live. So it's so weird not being able to see the people who are here. But we would love to hear from you all what causes violence this is this one of the things that that leads to someone being violent you can just drop this in the chat will give a couple seconds here for to get some answers. And this can be things that you either believe might cause violence or things that you've heard people say, if you know you've seen things happen and oh it was just this or you know culturally what are things that we this is all great yet excessive alcohol use too much to drink rape culture drugs hurt people hurt people so you're speaking to like trauma right trauma can cause it. What else relationship problems. For sure, I mean a vicious at the end. Anything else here. Sexual entitlement. Yep. Sorry, I've just lost that last one hate to marginalized groups. Okay, so I'm going to pop up the next slide here. These are the common answers that we hear when we're doing these trainings. We have more good yes gender roles racism homophobia transphobia yes. All right so common answers for like oh this is I'm sorry I just like this happened right anger jealousy cheating stress Eric, why does that have a money symbol on it. We have a money symbol because six graders told me that number one that money is the biggest cause of stress so I'm going to spell like that forever. That's that's how we spell stress previous exposure violence some of you spoke to that so like trauma lack of or poor communication alcohol other drugs. Mental illness you see this a bunch with the cultural conversation around mass violence and mass shootings that it's mental illness issue. They provoked me right anger kind of like I was poked I was poked I was poked, or I just lost control. So these are sort of the common answers that we hear to what things that cause violence and I am here to tell you that that is none of them are true. None of these are the things that cause violence because if they were the things that cause violence it would cause violence in everyone right when all of us got drunk. We would have absolutely no choice but to hulk out and punch the person next to us. I know that when I get drunk Eric loves to say when he gets drunk he gets loud and he buys everybody food. I cry. I just cry a lot. So, what actually is contributing to violence or these are the main contributing factors are belief systems it's your value systems it's it's the values that you hold either from your family of origin or your culture of origin or the culturalization of like so some of you touched about stuff like this in the chat. But some of the examples of attitudes and beliefs value systems that contribute to violence. Some of the things we discussed earlier can be triggers, but the things that are actually causing them are the value systems. The idea that violence solves problems rigid gender roles power and control right to sex entitlement to sex. We get into this very specifically because we reject the idea that alcohol causes sexual assault. And the inherent demonization of nightlife spaces being a place that are places that are dangerous, and that it's alcohol service or that it's nightlife or that it's counterculture or that's any of these things that are inherently violent or inherently dangerous, and recognize that this is coming from a deeper place and that alcohol is not the problem. Yes. Thank you so much Amy for leading us through that. All right, I'm gonna take an error just put it sorry I'm just gonna say so make sure we say it because it's so good alcohol does not cause sexual assault no specialist who understands the issue would believe that. That's a really important I wanted to amplify that thank you Eric. Yeah, for real, and this is a huge part of our workshops to is having conversations with staff about like, because also, you know this might not be something that you talk about in nightlife space often like what causes sexual violence and like, really we want to bring into the prevention world and the world that you know Eric and I exist in of like sexual assault prevention to see that like really that can be that can be happening in nightlife spaces. We don't want to like villainize spaces that serve alcohol because those are also spaces of a lot of joy and like fun and community building and we love nightlife. So, okay, I also am having wait for whatever reason having trouble seeing the chat so give me like 30 seconds. I'm going to just do this really quickly, and make sure that it's back for me. Okay. Okay, I still can't see it I don't know why I don't know why my zoom is being like this but I'm just going to trust Amy and Eric to yeah we'll stay on it you're good because we're about to play the F game. I know, also I love presenting this with your little bit mochi man's here. And I love that we just keep it in like all like I've never, I should remove that like it's just like yeah obviously we're gonna have Eric vibing here. Anyway, so we're going to play a little game now that we do during all of our workshops how we often kick them off. It's going to be a little bit different because we're doing it on zoom we typically do workshops in person, but it'll still work so everyone get your thinking brains ready because I'm going to show you sentence. And all you have to do is count the number of F's in that sentence. And don't put it in the chat yet just wait like 30 seconds. Just count the f's and keep it to yourself will give people like, you know, 3040 seconds minute. Hold your, hold your answers y'all give us like 10 more seconds. They're jumping on a scarlet they're ready. I love it. Yeah, give once people will get yeah 10 more seconds and then everyone because we don't want people to steal each other's answers. Don't be sneaky. It's strange not being able to see the chat. I promise I'm typically really good at zoom but I also just like want to keep our flow going so I'm not going to try to correct this right now but. Okay, scarlet go back to the other one so we lose the sentence so we don't see it anymore. Okay, yes, perfect. Wait, oh yeah okay. Everyone send in the chat now. How many f's and Eric and Amy will one of you read off what we're getting. Okay, I'm saying 9966896. I love this. Anybody else at nine. All right, so we have some sixes we have some eight and we have some nine. Perfect. So, the correct answer is nine. What, no. How. Okay, so now those who said maybe six, seven, eight, whatever anything others and nine, take a look at the sentence again. What did you miss. And send it in the chat. Someone says that missed the first of. Okay, did I'm assuming we, for those who also said maybe six seven eight I'm assuming we kind of missed the ofs. So what makes it easy to miss the ofs like why did we miss them. And send it in the chat. Again, I can't see it, but my besties are looking. I'll read you don't worry you're good. So we're talking about why did we miss the ofs I think the other thing will often miss is the double X, the things that are together but why do we miss that stuff. Not seen any answers yet we'll give it a couple more seconds and then we'll just. Short word last letter yep. So crazy because I literally scan the sentence like seven times. I still like every time we use this for years and I'm like wait how many of it. When I said nine I was kind of unsure I was winging it. Okay. Oh, I see I see the numbers in the chat going up. I think because it's not considered a real word. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, so thank you all for these answers because this is exactly what you know, yeah, we were hoping you share. So the reason why we do this activity is because it's a great illustration of what we at out smart in all of our work, try to focus on which is the of moments. So when we talk about sexual violence and harm, identity based harm, gender based harm, all these horrible things that happen. When we talk about preventing them at the early steps. What we really want to be looking at is those moments that get glossed over, or that are really easy because they're commonplace they happen all the time. It's a joke. It's something that you know, you've been hearing since you were five so it doesn't really feel like something worth intervening in. We're talking about like all different forms of harm to and not just like, you know, maybe seeing a cis white man, like, putting his hand on like a younger cis white girl like we're talking about like misgendering someone racist micro aggressions. Any form of like leering, looking, somebody making a passive comment about someone's body, like things that can be really hard to intervene in, but that actually are those building blocks for larger harms. So those are what we call the of moments. And those are what we really like to focus on in these trainings because we also know a lot of those happen in everyday life. So we don't have anything to add about the of moments before we go on to buy standard tips. I'll say one of the benefits of our focus on those of moments that are easy to miss and don't really fit what we often think of as like the physical violence intervene and is that there are more of those opportunities happening in any given night, and those are safer opportunities where you can intervene with a small as intervention and reduce the likelihood of escalation to physical harm right we see it all the time and we're going to get into that. And I'll just add scar that you're talking sort of about like the of moments culturally that we overlook because they're normalized. For me this is also about the of moments that are industry specific right that this is our opportunity to sort of look at the things I mentioned earlier like, well we don't get to have that that just doesn't apply to us that doesn't count here. And the stuff that we've sort of normalized under the umbrella of tip culture under the umbrella of like the customer is always right. There are things that are really, really industry specific that compound the cultural messaging that makes it things that we either don't see we don't notice or we don't think matter or we don't think count, or we don't think we get to want better or different than. Absolutely. I enjoy the notion of small ass interventions. I also noticed noting that I love a small ass intervention, small ass interventions, I kind of love that will be using that in the future, putting it on the slides. Yeah, bring you just said this beautifully normalization of harmful behavior descents is that ties us to noticing it exactly. So these are moments that they take a step back and be like, what have we gotten really used to that actually might be the places that we can intervene and we can start to shift things so that the really big scary put your cape on escalated ones don't actually happen. Yeah, absolutely. That way. Yeah, let's do it. Here we are. So Amy and I are going to tag team these these are some of the bystander interventions we would go through with you and a training and also role play with you because we know we got to do some role play. So you might have different words, different language you use other folks use different ones but these are the ones that we often share to start this conversation. And for us, our first bystander tip is a check in. Y'all, I love check ins because check ins you can do before harm. You can do it during a situation that feels uncomfortable you could also do it after something awful has happened to see what someone might need. And so these can be small things like what I learned from Amy, you see to couple you see a couple that you think is uncomfortable and you go hey how you doing what brings you here tonight. While you're pouring your glass of water, right and maybe you find out they're having a political conversation like I need to stay the hell out of that. Maybe you find out they're on their first tender date. Maybe when you say hey how you doing what brings you here tonight, you get the sense from one of the folks that oh my gosh please stay here healthy. Or maybe you sense that one person is a lot more drunk than another right it you're not making any kind of accusation, you're being a hospitable host, you're just asking a question to help you understand do I need to keep an eye on this. Do I need to am I anticipating that there's going to be some kind of intervention here. And while you're pouring that glass of water you're increasing the chances that one person is going to have to go to the bathroom, eventually so that you can do a one on one intervention in the next 20 30 minutes. Right. So it's just something like, hey what brings you tonight. Are you okay. What's going on. How are you. And again, you're not making accusation. You're just, you know, inquiring and then using your observation skills you're safe, your tips training skills right to help you make a better assessment and give you time to get more help if you need it. I love this just add to it to check in like you do this already everybody on the floor does this already this is what we're doing this is just us checking in on how's your food how's your how's the drinks how's everything. And it is a chance to take in body language it's a chance to take into a voice it's a chance to be a presence. It's just your presence is an act of bystander intervention sometimes you are literal being a little bit nosy or a little bit over attentive is an active of people saying alright this staff is on top of it this is not a place that I can get away with anything they are there here in their present. I also just want to go back really quickly and say bystander intervention really does can it feels hot right like it feels like oh you are asking to like get in there and put your gloves on put your cape on. For the most part what we talk about is the ways that you are doing interventions no one will ever notice. Sometimes that's not the case sometimes you do have to step in you have to say something, but in so many cases particularly in our work. It's it's so subtle and it's so small that it doesn't actually escalate anything and people don't realize it's happened. So let's get into some of those examples here. Um, what was that one sorry. That's okay it was a wait oh my god distract. Okay so destruction is just Eric tells us great example do you want to do that you're yours here that you did once. Yeah, I mean I was training a brewery y'all and the security team brought this he was just like, we're rolling he's like, oh my god your escalates on fire. And it was so ridiculous as a nonprofit worker who has a cat which someone to say something like that to me, I realized how ridiculous it was and then in that moment I realized oh my god this bystander intervention trick worked. It got someone in my face. I know that they see me, and it was just something like stupid, you know, a weird ass question. This is something you know I noticed somebody in the bar who's like reading a book and wants to kind of be left alone and the person next to them is insisting on conversation. Maybe I'm in a position where with that person I'm a little safer that I can go over to the person who's being a little aggressive and engage them in a conversation, or maybe I can engage the other person in a conversation I love this shirt where did you get that. I'm not like you're on zoom here but we can like do the eye contact thing and get the like, you good, you okay. Yeah. Okay, I can tell I need more information here I need more I need to find out more, or I totally misread this this is fine they're great, I can step away. Speak up. This one can sometimes get folks nerves so at our smart we like to think of this as a, as multiple options for speaking up, speaking up can be like hey leave them alone. I don't think this is appropriate. Speaking up can also mean, especially for folks who are afraid or not confrontational like me, speaking up to get help, speaking up to a coworker who I know is good at intervening in this type of situation. But if you've never talked to your coworkers about what their style of intervention is. No, it's speaking up to management. We just talked to a venue that does like a voice of God thing, and we'll get on the amp you like hey we see you you're on camera cut it out. So like doesn't have to be you putting yourself in the middle of something it can be you speaking up to your team or other people who can help and make you feel more confident in the intervention, but you need ways to communicate with your staff to do that too. This can also be naming the thing that's happening right so Eric mentioned earlier in the check in and getting people hydrated enough they have to be I'm a big fan of the like, once they're separated and something I've been kind of watching and I'm a little anxious about going to like I'm worried about being like hey I do not mean to overstep and I'm so sorry if I'm misreading this but like, I've just heard a couple of things that your data saying and like are you good you seem a little like a little bit. And the way that trauma often works is in our bodies is that like, just having another person reflect back to you like hey I see you, and I see this and it's a little messed up is enough for somebody to go right. And I've seen that happen so many times that just being seen speaking it to that person is enough to make them go. Oh my gosh you're so right yeah I've been in sort of trauma mode I've been in just manage this don't escalate it I'm sure it's fine. And having it reflected back to them is enough for them to get themselves out of the situation and say this yeah the state is over like, you're absolutely right this this wasn't feeling good. Next. Okay, this one's excellent separating again. No one's going to know this is happening sometimes they do, but this can be excuse me I just need to get through here bus tabs huge, like great intervention, or passing a trade through. This is a place will get really venue specific with you will come in and we'll look at your space and are you working with a dance floor do you have a DJ on certain nights. What's the makeup of where your service bar is versus where your patrons cross to go to the bathroom like, where are the places that you can actually separate people. Somebody goes to the bathroom you check in and the person's like, yeah, I'm a little bit. I'm I just want to be left alone and you go, great friend was visiting me at the bar or regular that I know is down. Can you come sit next to this person, and I'll just move them to your this the person that's making them uncomfortable to a different seat. And then you say to the person that's making them uncomfortable sorry their friend just joined you mind if I move you over here. No one has any idea that they've made someone uncomfortable this is not necessarily a situation that needs to be fully escalated to like get out you've done something wrong, but we we prevented in that little of moment here. I'm going to say we've seen some really creative stuff friends and lovers, they do a thing where they have flashlights and we noticed and in darker spaces when someone sees a light flash and sometimes make them think authority, but friends and lovers don't flash it on the ground for just a quick second, and the Scott cockroaches scatter stuff just like stops because people think what there's like even things like turning up the lights right it's a great way to just disrupt the moment, but in terms of separation it's something as simple as bringing a bus to walking through people in between people excuse me got to get through if you have roamers security, or simply flashing a flashlight on the ground which makes people stop and let go shit. Right, creative ways to do it. We have DJs that will turn the lights up and have like and keep the vibe going right and just be like this is a totally normal lights are up everybody good check in just the person you're dancing with, want to be dancing with you all right let's go back and if people want to come back together they can, but if they didn't want to be there it gives them an opportunity to scurry themselves out. And so the next one is removed this one is sort of like separate, it can be a direct one yo this person needs to go like they violate our policies, consent violation whatever it is, they're out. And just like we speak up we know folks might not feel comfortable doing it directly so you can speak up and get help. Hey, security hey man and then hey, you know, server, whoever it is on your team, who is available or who you think can be helpful, you can get their help and removing this person from the situation, even if it's another staff member like Amy was just saying like this was separate like if one staff person is being like harassed, and you see it. Mike wants you in the back, Mike doesn't want you in the back I'm just getting you out of this situation. Mike doesn't even work here. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. This can also be enlisting the help of the sober friend right like if it's again not a situation that you feel comfortable getting a bouncer you feel comfortable or maybe you don't have security at your venue that you have a you know you feel like there is one friend in the group that you're like, your buddy is being a problem, you got to get him out, help me get him out, can you help me out. I had something else I was going to add to that and now it's gone from my brain. Don't know, carry on support. This is where Eric is saying that you can intervene before during and after something. We recognize that we need to bridge the gap between prevention and crisis, things are going to happen, things are absolutely going to happen. And, you know, we very much recognize that that doing these trainings and talking about these things it's stressful right because it's like, well okay go forth and prevent anything bad ever from happening in your venue. I think it's really in depth about like what the makeup of your staff is and and having training them to talk to each other about like who's lived experience whose identity is actually the safest person to intervene here. And you're not expected to intervene at all times, things are going to happen in your venue, it's important you keep yourself safe too. And so much of what you can do is support after is be there to offer validation and belief and what do you need one of the big things you need to figure out is letting someone who has just experienced harm lead the way immediately giving them their autonomy back to them by not telling them what to do by not making choices for what the best thing is for them what they would like to see happen. This is why a lot of these bystander tips can be helpful because a lot of times people who are in a sticky situation don't want the kind of like hero intervention that would actually escalate things. They go back to work with that person the next week or they live with them or, you know, dynamics are complicated so what do you need to see happen here if you, if you have, what would you like, what would support look like for you here. What do you want me to do next and obviously we do recognize and we talk about this more in depth in our management training but that there are some liabilities and there are, you know, some some restaurants use mandated reporting and. As much as you can offer autonomy back to a survivor of any kind, the faster that they will be able to start healing and letting them lead the way towards what happens and support can also look like connecting people to us. Absolutely. Thank you both for those bystander tips. And again this is just like a little bit of what we do in a work like in a workshop we will be talking to your staff like how do you see this happening in your space like how have you done this before. So this is a little teaser for you all. 10 minutes left we're actually kind of nailing it with the timing if I do say so myself. So, this is actually just piggybacking right on what Amy was just talking about which is classic. I know, I know. No, no, no, no, this is good. That was great. And now we're going to go into just a few tips that I think are really helpful to keep in mind when, if and when you do hear a disclosure so, as Amy was saying like, we know that harm happens. That's not, we can't expect it to never happen and we also know a lot of you probably have responded to harm before and done it probably in a great way and like, you know, as compassionate people. And we're not all trained in like how to respond to somebody telling us that they've been sexually assaulted or sexually harassed and it can be a really difficult thing for the person who's offering support. So, these are just like a few basic things that we tell people to keep in mind after they hear disclosures that we also have a lot of resources that we're going to give you in addition to this. So, one of the main things that we like to open with is just thanking someone for sharing with you, like literally just to thank you so much for trusting me with that, or I appreciate you bringing that to me. And acknowledging that it might have been hard, especially if we're talking if you are a manager and an employee bring something to you like, validating that that couldn't may not have been easy, like, just really showing gratitude for somebody sharing something with you. And of course what we want to avoid is like making something feel like they're bringing you a problem or like they're bringing you something that you now have to deal with. Instead, we want it to feel like, you know, what, I'm here to support you. And also, even if you are a coworker who heard a disclosure from another coworker again just saying like thank you for sharing that with me. So one thing also that we talk about with trauma response is like, we don't want to promise anything that we can't guarantee will happen. So, one of our, I am guilty of this. Our impulse can be to say everything's going to be okay, like I'm going to take care of it. It's going to be all right. And it's so hard, but we cannot actually guarantee somebody that everything is going to happen maybe in the exact way that they want it to happen. Instead, you know, maybe saying something like, I'm going to do everything I can to support you everything in my power to support you but not promising that they're going to get some specific results or anything like that. Beyond that, again, if you're a mandated reporter sharing that and within that comes a lot of feelings can come up for somebody who's a survivor, especially if you know you mentioned the police because not everybody feels safe around the police if you are going to be reporting or if you are going to be taking certain steps, explaining everything that you're going to be doing and everything that that person will be like everyone who they'll be hearing from what they have to share what they don't have to share just making someone feel like they know what's going on. So important. And then along with that, as and we have mentioned this several times now, giving them choice and power. And when we talk about giving someone power, we're one when you know we experienced trauma or harm. The core of that is we have power taken away from us so this is why we do that here, but also giving someone options. So saying, instead of just saying like, All right, what's next, like saying to them because when when we experience trauma, our brains often are not going to know exactly what we need in that moment and it can be really helpful to actually hear like a list like I can connect to you with someone on the outsmart team. I can connect to you with an advocate we can call a crisis hotline. Give them a menu, and that will make it so much easier for them to make a decision about what they need next. Finally, follow up plan, like just say, I'm going to check in with you tomorrow, or is it okay if I send you a text later tonight, because often when we disclose it can feel really really vulnerable really like raw and then we're just kind of tossed in back into our lives so knowing that someone is is thinking about you and is going to follow up can also really help. Okay, and two quick examples from our outsmart team. One of you feel free to jump in. I mean, so I'll share a quick example of an off moment for us where we're the help athletes. We're working with a restaurant that served alcohol and one of the chefs had sexually harassed one of the servers. The management team found this out they admitted to it and then they wrote up the chef the chef ended up leaving. And then they talked to the person who was sexually harassed. The person who was sexually harassed. Yes, the venue did what was compliant within their policy protocol, but the survivor felt like power had been taken away from them. Like a bunch of things had been happening steps have been taken that they had been informed that they felt awkward at the workplace felt like people are going to be talking about them because others knew about the situation, and that was reported before the survivor did that So either nothing bad happened to them, but the feeling of having the power take away from them led to them quitting that place. And so for us, our conversation we had a really simple solution. When you have harassment or harm that happens talk to the person who was harmed first. Right that's something that's not going to like necessarily like mess with like compliance or anything like that, but it does allow you to just be upfront with a person who we think was harmed it gives an opportunity to say hey, actually that didn't happen. Actually, like it wasn't that bad like I don't think it was like a problem, but it also informs them my colleague scholar saying of what their options are, what can happen next, how they might want to address the situation and it can give you an opportunity to ease some of their anxieties and let them pay this is confidential, like under the law we can't be talking about it to everyone. So to help you set anxiety about feeling awkward and everything. So that's just one example of a super small moment where we're able to help. Then you just make a small shift in policy to be more trauma informed. That also allows the person there to be like look I don't want them to get in trouble I don't want them to get fired I just want to go back to work I just want maybe a conversation with them. And that's where your managers go cool let's connect you to outsmart they have they can connect you to mediation services. Everybody can get back to work everybody can can kind of have a more restorative approach to these things if that's what the survivor wants to see happen. Another version of this that I wanted to share is very typical like got a call from a relationship owner that we love where something had happened at their venue where they had gotten an email from a patron and who described a situation that they experienced something bad and we just helped them with the language of how to response we got on the phone with them. What is your crew need like what is your staff need to feel okay about this, and how do you respond to this person in a way that is within your liability. And also, you know, says to the person like, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Is there, what would you like us to see what would you like to see done here. While naming the limitations of what they can actually do and how do we make you feel safe to come back here again in a really authentic way and an actual survivor way and not like just come back and we'll buy you a drink, like, but it was allowed them to feel like a member of their community as opposed to. Oh no we don't want to lose that person's money. We just sort of figure out the language of the email that went out to this to the survivor in that case. Thank you Amy and Erica. I'm just gonna, I also want to be mindful of time now I know I was like we're amazing but now to 58. So I'm just going to flash this quickly and then I'm going to put it back up during the q amp a if that's cool because these are all just support resources that you all can take a picture of if you want. So I'm going to give Amy a moment to talk about how you can get involved, and then we'll do q amp a and show the resources. I'm I'm charging involved. Okay, I love it. Um, palace, let's talk. Our stuff here is here also screenshot this if you'd like. You can request a training for your venue as on our website there's a link to a little form that will come to us. I'm a facilitator we are always particularly looking for nightlife facilitators our team of facilitators are made up of one of Eric and scarlet one of me and a crisis responder and advocate in the room to provide support. And we would love to have you come facilitate trainings with us. You can sign up for our list, sir. That's where you'll see events we do parties we do events we do collective meetings, collective meetings are where you know nightlife folks all get together and sort of talk about like how's it running here venue what was something you dealt with this month like, and we always buy the first round of drinks for those. You can join our policy and management working group as scarlet mentioned you do not need to be a manager. This is very much us trying to bridge the gap between what does your front of house staff need your managers to know about what support looks like, and what do the managers need team to know about what their limitations are and doing so. Or reach out if you want to host an event or collaborate on an event or a campaign we do all sorts of just one off fundraising or awareness campaigns in all kinds of venues so we would love to talk to you if you have an idea for one of those. Thank you Amy. And now, who in a time, but I'm also going to leave this up. These are great resources that Eric put together Eric do you want to say anything about these. Yeah I mean check in on them you can take a picture of this I also put it in the chat. So all these resources are like three different resource directories that just give you access to a bunch of other resources, beyond like trauma sexual assault and get benefits hospital stuff so oftentimes we tell folks like the thing you can do if you can't say I believe you as a manager is give them these resources because that's going to send them to someone like us can say, I believe you, and that's going to make you look good as a manager and you look more supportive. Awesome. Thank you so yeah we're opening it up now to any questions that you all have feedback thoughts in, I don't know, dreams. But if you don't have any you're also of course welcome to hop off this little webinar but we really really appreciate you all being here and thank you so much for taking the time to listen to us today. I will stick around for a few minutes if anybody has any questions or thoughts. Also, if you don't feel comfortable shooting them in the chat email us we're happy to talk or jump on a call or whatever after. I also just sent in the chat. The wonderful resource that Eric worked on. That is a resource guide for managers owners who hear disclosures or how to respond to harm. It's amazing. Because I believe recordings will be available of this. Yeah we'll be sharing a recording of the webinar that you know anyone will be able to share with others they know in the industry. So thanks everyone for coming thank you so so much Eric and Amy and scarlet. Thank you everyone else for coming and contributing to this conversation I think we always learn so much from you all about how each of us can identify and you know really step up and some challenging situations so we hope everyone who attended will be able to use these important tactics to help make your spaces safer for everyone and we really do encourage you all to reach out directly down smart and schedule a training make sure your staff and colleagues can get that really in depth experience. As always, everyone's welcome to reach out directly to us at the office of nightlife or email address nightlife at media NYC.gov or our social media accounts at NYC nightlife gov. Just want to add that we'll also be hosting our next webinar as part of our night school series. This Thursday December 8 at 1230 in the afternoon about our mend NYC mediation program. So that's if you are having a quality of life related issue at your venue with a neighbor you're invited to come learn about how this free program can help resolve those conflicts so we'll leave the meeting open for another couple minutes so you can grab any links or other information in the chat and we can respond to additional questions as well so thanks so much have a great day everyone. Amy, do you see the question in the Q&A. You got a question. It's all. Sorry. Um, where is it. I can, I can read it it's just it's asking you about in your experience with with nightlife. How frequently you experience incidents like in the venues that you work in. I think that I really don't see this question. Q&A. Do you see Q&A? I don't know. Okay, I think that you have to really specifically clarify like what an incident means there like what I mean every single day and interventions are happening every single shift I was on something you know we I my eyes repealed and we're doing little tiny things here in terms of like noticeable interventions noticeable incidents where maybe there had to be a more extravagant intervention, obviously rare. But it really depends on the venue to live I've worked, you know, rooftop rooftop club places I've done more, you know, funky restaurant steakhouse kind of vibes. And they all have they all have different, I guess levels or types of of incidents. It's hard to put a number on it. Yeah. Also certain times of year, you know, there's interesting data on like what nights are worse for hospitals for reporters there's you know, there's a reason we all hate Santa Claus. And Halloween and holidays are always really, you know, you definitely are noticing an uptick in domestic violence behaviors in our venues around around holidays I think that's always. It's really like attention. At that time of year. Halloween end of your holidays things like that. Yeah, I don't know if I answered your question please feel free to add more to it. That's pretty thorough. Let me not answer your question. Yeah folks feel free if you have more. Feel free to send them I see we still have some participants here so we are here. Also if you have things that you're like, I don't want to ask this like on a public webinar you can also, you know, shoot us an email or talk to us if you have anything you want to talk through or private message and we can always ask it. anonymously. That is the beauty of, of zoom, I must say. I think we got a question. God goes. Thursday. I think we can take. Hey, Joe, Sam and y'all Joe is an OG doing engagement work like across the country. No, I was in college, so good on me for life bro on me for life. All right, I think we're going to call this a day and thank you all so much for, for being with us and thanks to Sarah from the New York City Commission on gender equity as well for sharing information about the 16 days campaign so everyone go check that out. And hopefully we'll see some of you back on Thursday for our mend NYC mediation webinar so have a great day everyone. Thank you. Bye y'all.