 My four modes of verbal communication Can everybody say mode to One more time Mode to behavior that's characterized by a verbal communication style that's cautious and indirect Pleasant and polite flattering and entertaining vague and ambiguous underlying attitude for mode to is I want to do everything possible to get you to like me and And I want to do everything possible during my conversation with you to prevent you from criticizing me insulting me and Prevent you from experiencing any sort of negative reaction to what I say or how I say it Now some guys will say Alan is it true that men who behave like the proverbial well-mannered nice guy have tremendous success with women See even dogs know how to give right eye contact The fuck takes me back to the speaking gauge right ahead in London some guys said Alan You know I've read your book and I respect some of things you say this sounds like you're just telling guys to be you know Just kind of like a verbally blunt jerk. You know, and I'm more of a classy gentleman I'm more of a like a nice guy. You know women kind of raised me as a nice guy. I said oh really So I asked a whole auditorium. I said how many you guys in here think you're Classy gentlemen and well-mannered and polite nice guys and like pride 95% of guys raised a hand And I asked them one simple question that you afterwards you could hear a mouse fart. I Said how's that working out for you? Because reality is if the nice guy thing was the ultimate key to success why no fuck are you in this auditorium listening to me Anyone was gonna think you're nice if you're flattering to her all the time If you're willing to entertain her all the time you never challenge her sexual sensibilities You help her move heavy boxes when she wants to move from one apartment to the next you treated a lunch and dinner on a monthly basis I mean, what is there not to fucking like about you? When you just playing up there all the time and accommodating her and shit What is there not to fucking like about you? But you ain't getting a pussy wet And if you do happen to fuck it That's a charity fuck so she can keep you motivated to lift more heavy boxes and do the shit she wants you to do Can anybody say mode three? dishonest and or disingenuous intentionally misleading Fawning and or a spineless highly predictable on Monday. Actually, that's one more wide Divide them up to at least three categories One is a mode three timid that would be a guy who just goes to the party like price them guys last night They go to a party to get all dressed up and they went to two buddies Then they get to the club and what they do they just stand against the wall Okay guys you ready go. Yeah Mode three target. He plays right into the gold digger's hands. That's the guy He got enough confidence to start a conversation with a woman But 95 to 99% of conversations. Hey, it's an angel. Yeah, you know, I own a house on the beach I Drive a Porsche 911 Got a rule. This is a real Rolex watch. Yeah, I went to Harvard Yeah, and he's hoping that all this impressive stuff. He says one's gonna be like, oh my god I need to just open my legs for you right now. You're so impressive Then after he says all the impressive stuff and he doesn't get laid he's like fuck I guess I got to move up from a Porsche 911 to a convertible Bentley. That's the ticket Now he's just a target and then the third would be going back to my concept of fun club and some guys I'm known guys to fun club not only for weeks and months but years literally years Just pretending like they wanted nothing romantic or sexual with a woman under the guise of I'm her friend Why they're fantasizing about her Under lying attitude from all three I want to do everything possible to prevent you from knowing my true thoughts and my true romantic or strictly sexual desires Interest and intentions I would rather not express my desires and interest to you honestly at all Then to express them honestly and have my desires and interests abruptly and blatantly rejected Guys say when you agree that it's better just not approach women at all and instead always wait for them to make the first move towards you Sure, you're right Sure, you're right if you're a major entertainment industries industry celebrity or professional athlete you can possibly get away with that Maybe certain other exceptions as well But for most guys man The other exception I might say if you're a regular guy, you're just like amazingly good-looking But other than that you're gonna have to approach a percentage of women if you want to connect with someone today everybody say mode for Antagonistic and intentionally insulting hypercritical and obnoxious bitter and resentful Verbally abusive and even hateful typically when you're going to mode for you start off in mode two and or mode three And you get pissed because of how many times you've been rejected how many times you've been ignored So you develop this attitude like man all women are fucking bitches man. Fuck down Fuck down. They're bitches man. They ain't shit. They're all no good scum of the earth And if they even gain a confidence to approach a woman they immediately have a negative attitude like I know you're one of those No good bitches, but hey, you know Hey, they don't even talk to women to really try to hook up with them They just want to try to insult them undermine their ego their feelings Underlying attitude as I just mentioned I've allowed a lot of you women to verbally abuse me disrespect me keyword Allowed no woman can disrespect you unless you allow it remember that To verbally abuse me disrespect me and mislead me and manipulate me in the in the past Or most of you women have rejected me or totally ignored me. So now I'm going to treat you Women like the no good bitches that you are Some guys will say to me Allen when you agree that it's best to just be a complete dick With women when you're approaching, you know say something like hey, you filthy whore You want to lick my balls a night you no good bitch Isn't that like more one Lot of guys will confuse and conflate mode forward mode one If you weren't a company of a woman who was attracted to you, but she was doing a damn good job of Pretending as though she was not interested in you How would you expose her facade? If you were in the company of a woman who was interested in a romantic relationship with you But she was doing a damn good job of Pretending as though she was only interested in maintaining a purely platonic friendship with you How would you expose her facade if you were in the company of woman who was only interested in you spending time flattering her entertaining her Doing financial favors for but she was doing a damn good job. It's the manipulative time waster a damn good job Giving you the misleading impression That she was on the verge of allowing you to become either her next long-term boyfriend Or a next short-term casual sex lover. How would you expose her facade? Let's say together That's the answer to all those questions mode one