 Oh, hello there lovers and friends, today's video is about a topic that I have been dying to talk about for quite some time, darling, but I've been being patient, letting it unfold. I've been keeping my eye on it for quite some time now, and I feel like now might be the right time to start a broader discussion on their relationship, and that is what today is all about. Even though the video is called Cardi B and Offset, ultimately, we all really know, I don't know her, we don't know him, we don't know their ins and outs, and even if you are the biggest fan on the planet, please don't try to act like you live with them. So we're all just speculating here, but ultimately, we're taking a very public conversation and making it personal for us so that we can learn and grow from it and have a really constructive conversation. I want to back things up before I get to that point and discuss why I think celebrity relationships in general tend to be severely disastrous. The three reasons are conflict, contrast, and contradictions. We're going to start off with conflicts. What are the usual things that break down an intimate connection between two loving, willing, able, excited individuals? First, you have threats against monogamy. Majority of people, especially in Western society, subscribe to monogamy, which means that it's just you and me all the time. No exceptions, don't even look anywhere else. And so threats to the monogamous foundation tend to be an issue to the relationship. Number two is communication. How often are we talking? Are we able to understand each other? And are we doing that in a place, in a time that is comfortable for both of us? Then you have money. Money of course is a major issue in relationships, and then power dynamics. Let's think about those. Power dynamics, money, communication, monogamy, all these things are on heroin in celebrity culture. There's constant threats to the monogamous foundation. There is constant issues when it comes to money because there's so much of it flowing around. Communication is difficult because you guys are traveling constantly and you're exhausted. And when you do have time to talk to somebody, the last thing that you want to do is argue. And power dynamics, it just depends on who's the biggest celebrity at the time. So with that in mind, it's difficult as is to manage this relationship. Now let's add contrasts into the whole mix of things. How am I treated in the outside world and how am I treated at home and why don't these two things add up? So for a celebrity, the outside world, when they go anywhere, it is, you are the most beautiful. You are the smartest. You are the coolest. You are the funniest. Everything that you say is freaking gold. And then you go home to your romantic partnership. And this is the thing, romance is immune to pandemonium. When you really know somebody inside and out, keeping up that fan worship thing does not last more statistically between six months to a year. After that, you stop getting the dopamine hit that makes this person feel like liquid heroin. They just become another person to you. Your love transitions actually from this radically strong chemical cocktail to a common connect where it's more about bond and it's more about oxytocin and less about the thrill of being around someone that you just can't get enough of. So once your relationship does transition into that more comfortable bonding phase, you just stop being as fucking fireworks. You start being a regular person. And that contrast is really difficult for a celebrity because they're out there in the world getting all this affirmation, then they come home and they get checked for not putting their shoes away. They get checked for not being a good parent. They get checked for not responding to a text on time. They get checked for not paying a bill. And then they're like, well, wait a second, I'm perfect and awesome. This doesn't add up. And why is it that the person that I chose is the one who sees me in the worst light possible? But that actually isn't true. They're just looking at you in a realistic light. And a healthy relationship should challenge you. There should be some contrast to it. But again, most of us when we're in the outside world, we're treated fairly decent, mediocrely. No one's out here throwing roses at your feet. So when you do come home to a relationship that's a bit more grounding, it's not that big of a drop. The celebrity is literally hero to zero. And finally, let's talk about contradictions. Now this one is specific to the people involved because it depends on what environment they grew up in and how they came into power or in this case into fame. So we'll separate them into Cardi B and Offset. Offset, his rise to stardom came because he showed through music a lack of regard for women, for fidelity, for other people's well-being. And essentially, his whole career is based around self, selfishness. It's based around the id, which you have the super ego, the ego and the id. And the id is that thing inside of you that just does whatever the motherfucker wants to do. The id is the baby, right? It pulls hair, it screams for milk, it kicks, it cries, it doesn't regard anyone else, it just does. And in a lot of ways, that's why people like hip hop because it's a fantasy, it's an escape into the id. A place where we don't have to consider other people's feelings. We don't have to consider what the rules of society are. And that's fine as a voyeuristic experience of you listening to it and then turning it off and returning to your normal life. But what happens when that's your life? You know, you sing about it, you perform about it, you go to clubs, you listen to it, you're around people who subscribe to it. And that is, again, how you came into fame. For exemplifying these morals and attitudes and behaviors, that is how you found your success. Everything that you have done to become successful as an independent contradicts what's necessary to be successful in a partnership. And when those two things don't align, you're going to have to use one thing, patience and a fuck ton of it. An unreasonable, uncomfortable, unbearable amount of patience. And if you don't have that, you probably shouldn't get involved with that person. Now we'll move on to Cardi B. Her contradictions, to in order to be successful as an individual, she has no filter. Whatever goes on up here, we hear down there. That has worked tremendously well for her. It has made her a reality TV star. It has made her a pop culture icon. And even again, as a rapper, because Id is what really drives that form of art, the Id comes out in her music as well too. So in a relationship, that's not good. This needs to have not just like a stop sign, but it needs spikes. It needs a railroad crossing and it needs a counselor before it comes out of your mouth. In order to successfully engage with someone in a relationship, you cannot be reactive like that. You cannot be impulsive like that. And so again, all the things that she has done up until this point to be successful as an individual are contradictory to what she needs for the partnership at large. So for those reasons, I believe that both of them have a lot of challenges that have been set forth in front of them that is going to occur no matter who the partnership is. I mean, it's kind of like a variable thing. She's always going to be an X. He's always going to be an X. You can change out the while you want, but that's not going to change the fundamental issues that are going to keep arising, the conflicts, the contrast, and the contradictions. If you don't learn to manage those in this relationship, they're going to creep up in the next. And so without knowing much about them and just assuming that a cheating is the main problem and that their lack of cohesiveness, the arguing as a result of all of those three aforementioned is the main problem, I suggest because you have a child together because you committed to marriage and because you do have a lot of passion still there, you go and you see counseling and help and you find a patient manageable formula to chip away at these three major obstacles that you're going to face regardless. So whether you work through it together or you work through it alone, the work's got to be done. But I'd love to hear from you. Do you think that offset and Cardi B should stay together? If so, why or why not? Baby, drop it down. I'll be in your town ready when you see me, baby, rolling through your city. I'll be living ready. I'm just trying to get as plenty. Mama getting pretty when I see her throwing fitties. Baby, he got the flame. Had to get the rain. Me.