 another Narx Fiver live video. I just managed to get on the beach here and it's just not raining. If it's raining all of this time I managed to do a quick tip talk as well. You know I'm a bit on the beach, no rain right now let's see what I'm going to last and I'm going to be talking about in this one how the Narcissist will never let you go. Because yes this is a thing with a lot of Narcissists, especially where you are their grade A source, you're their primary source of supply. They can be very possessive and controlling, where they just can't meet you alone. And this can be a very horrible experience to go through. Just when you're in a very toxic and abusive relationship, I guess we'll point where you just want to let it go. You want to leave it behind in the past, if you grow to it. You still want to be involved in them anymore with everything they've done to you. So then you're just trying to move on with your life. Maybe you've met someone new, you're happy, you're in a new relationship. The Narcissist just can't leave you alone though. They just can't let you go. You don't understand why. It's like they have their own life. And the priority here is that no they don't. What you need to understand is that their entire identity revolves around controlling you and keeping you in a safe situation. Entity revolves around you. So take you out of the picture. What are they supposed to do with their lives? Everything revolves around you. You're like the center of their world. Everything revolves around you. They're probably logging on to your social media, seeing what you're posting, seeing where you are, who you're with, what you're doing. And if it's anything that doesn't tie in and support this identity, this false identity that they have created revolves around controlling you. If it's not anything that doesn't revolve around them, they will try to sabotage it. But it's getting in the corner because it's getting really cold. But yeah, if it's anything that does not support their false identity, their false sense of self-esteem, their inflated fragile ego, if it doesn't support that, then they're going to want to destroy it. So you may have moved on. You may be in a new relationship. You may have tried to just forget about them. And yet, you see the narcissists are still in your social media. They're spreading gossip rumors about you. They're starting a smear campaign. Maybe they're even trying to communicate with your new partner. They're trying to brainwash them and tell them all of these bad things about you. They're making up all of these lies to try and ruin your new relationship. And it's because their identity, their purpose in life, it revolves around you. And that is why they can't let you go. Because if they let you go, what are they meant to do? How are they supposed to live? They're using you to regulate their emotions. You are their source of supply. And you've got to think even in a normal relationship, you know, when you're with someone, you've been intimate with them. It's kind of hard to let that person go. I mean, I know exactly what that's like. I've had relationships, especially girls that were much younger than myself. There were a few girls that I was with where they were virgins. And two in particular, where I was actually their first kiss as well. So you can imagine, I kind of felt like almost like this is like my possession, like this person belongs to me, even though, of course, I'm not actually a narcissist myself. I do consider myself to be an empath. But just as an example, even in that type of relationship, I can honestly say it was very hard for me to let them go. It really was. It took quite a lot of time. And again, we just have to accept it. The healthy person, you're not going to try to control them. You're not going to stalk and arrest them. You're not going to start a smear campaign. You're not going to try to get them fired from their job, affect them financially, try to sabotage their new relationship. Normal people, they won't do anything like that. But with a narcissist, it is far more extreme. They just cannot stand it. The thought of you moving on, where they're no longer able to control you. It just destroys them. Their false self, their false reality, the false narrative, because they've made this entire narrative around you. Of you being this horrible person, you being no good for them. Well, if you move on and you develop a healthy relationship with someone else, that just completely destroys their narrative. It just crushes their smear campaign. As long as they can keep you alone and they can isolate you, they can say whatever they want. And people will believe it because you're alone. You're on your own. So they can tell people whatever they like. And it makes you look very distrustful, very suspicious when you're always alone. So it works for them that way. The problem is when you have support, when you have someone who's on your side, they're in your corner, it just makes it even more difficult for them to control you, unless they can turn your new partner into one of their flying monkeys. Because that's what they will probably try to do. If they can't prevent you from moving on and beginning a new relationship, then they will just try to turn them into one of their flying monkeys and use them against you. That's just how second-twisted they really are. They do not want to see you moving on and building your own identity outside of them, outside of their narrative of you. They want everything that you do, everything that you experience in your life to revolve around them in some way. And why do they want that? Well, they want that because their life revolves around you. Everything they see, they cure, everything they experience in their life, it's all revolving around you. They wake up in the morning, they're probably on your social media, looking at your posts, trying to see who you're talking to. And throughout the day, they're still monitoring you. They're probably last thing at night as well before they go to sleep. Some of them may be up all night, looking through your social media. I mean, they could be outside your home, checking to see just in case you go out somewhere. And they become very paranoid when they're stalking you. They're always, they've always got to be two steps ahead of you. They're always worried, anticipating what you might do next, where you might go, who you might meet. They're very controlling. It's because it resurfaces those insecurities. Remember their entire identity revolves around you and controlling you. So anytime you do something that's outside of the character that they have induced in you, anything that might threaten their false self and their false reality, they suddenly start to feel very insecure and they will become very controlling to try to restrict or continue. Because it could be a serious threat to how they perceive themselves and how they feel about themselves to their false image. So that's why they just cannot let you go. And many narcissists will hold on to you for life because you're always that source of supply. You're always like this measuring stick, this reference point for them to where they feel like they've conquered you. They've broken you down. They've made you into nothing but a shell of the man or the woman that you once were. And that's like their achievement, their accomplishment. They like to look at you, return to you now and again, to just admire their work of how they conquered you. They broke you down. And many victims, they stay like that. They stay in that state for the rest of their life. They never move on, they never change. They stay broken down. They never get better. And that's kind of the whole point. That's why the narcissist does not want to let you go. They want to keep you in that state, in that condition where you can continue to supply them and make them feel powerful and significant to you in your life. But they had an impact on your existence. They had a loss in effect because that's what they're looking for. It's significant, relevant. The problem is when you try to move on, like they may have left you in the rubble in a ditch, but when you start trying to climb out of there, and you're crawling back onto your feet, you're no longer dependent on them. You no longer need them. They're no longer significant or relevant to you. And then it's like, what are they supposed to do? If their purpose, their entire identity revolves around you. It's what makes them feel like nothing is wrong with them. If they can project this on to you. I mean, in their minds, it's normally a state of chaos and disorder. But if they can project that on to you, it makes them feel a lot better about themselves. So that is why they will often like to do that. I know it can be very hard for you. Those of you who are going through this, I know it's not nice. After everything you've probably been through with, they abused you, they controlled you all of this time. 110 live viewers, please give this video a thumbs up down below if you find it helpful. Thank you. But yeah, I know those of you who've been through all of this stuff with them, all of these things they did to you, they abused you, they controlled you, they kept you down in order to maintain this false sense of reality so that they could feel comfortable. Because that's all that it's really designed to do. The truth is, they can't let you go because they can't accept the truth that you are greater than them, that you don't need them, that you're going to be so much better off without them, that you can develop a healthy relationship with someone else outside of their control. They do not want to accept reality because if they were to accept the truth and reality and let things play out naturally, that would not be favorable for them. That means, I mean, let's just entertain this for a moment. Just think about this. If they were to let you go, just let go of all of the control. That means you could just move on, build a life for yourself. And there's really no limits to what you could accomplish. You could find your dream job, you could have a successful business, you could get married, have a husband, a wife, children, a family, you could do all of these things if they were to let you go and you're outside of their control. But what about them? That's not going to change anything for them. They're still going to be crazy. They're still going to be disordered. They're still going to be miserable and unhappy. And they're never going to experience peace, happiness, joy, nothing. They're never going to have anything good in their lives. They're never going to have a healthy relationship. Now you see, now you understand why they cannot let you go because you're going to be over there as the best version of yourself, living your best life with your family, your business, your home. And they're going to be all on their own, miserable, just looking at you with your family, smiling, happy, having a great time. You think they just want to watch that for the rest of their lives? You think they really want to see that happening? They're miserable enough as it is. Even while they still have you in their possession. So just imagine if they were to let you go and then they have to see you. Let me just look at it like this when they pretend to move on and they've got their new supply and flaunted it on social media. These four smiles, these fake laughs, they can dish it out but they can't take it. I can promise you that everything they put out, everything that they do in an attempt to hurt you, to punish you, to try to make you jealous, that is what hurts them. That is what someone has done to hurt them in the past. We just have to hurt them unintentionally, but either way, whatever they're putting out to you, that's what bothers them the most. They can dish it out but they can't take it. They do not want a taste of their own medicine. So if they were to let you go and you could just go off and then you're doing that to them, that would completely destroy them. If they came back again, they would come back to kill you, to annihilate you, to completely destroy your life, finish you off completely because that would just, that would destroy them. To see you doing what they do to you, when you're going on social media, you're taking selfies, but for you it's real. You've actually got the real thing where you get married, you know, if your husband, your wife, someone who actually loves and cares about you for real and you actually care about them. I like the narcissist who never really cared about you and you're posting pictures of your new home, your new car, your vacation, your beautiful family, that would completely destroy them because no matter what they have, they know it's not real. They know it's all fake, but they know that for you it could actually be real for real because they know that you care. That's why they targeted you because unlike everyone else, you actually give a shit and if you care about someone and someone else cares about you, anyone with a brain can figure out where that's going to go. Two people together who both love and care for each other. No doubt that would be a very successful relationship, marriage, family. No doubt about that at all and they're already aware of it that yes, you do have the power, the ability to care about someone for real, something that they cannot do and by this point they've probably realized already the fact that they have this inability to actually care about people for real. Of course, at some level they do realize that that is kind of the barrier, the reason why they can't establish or maintain a healthy relationship or even hold down a job. Of course, yes, somewhere in their minds they are aware of that and they already know it's so easy for you. If they were to let you go, you could just move on. So easy for you to find someone like yourself because like attracts like. You could find someone like that so effortlessly and many of you, your hard workers, I mean, that's where they picked you. You did all of the work for them. You could quite easily move on with someone who cares about you and loves you and you love them. You get a good job, maybe you start your own business, you buy a home together, you have a family, a marriage, something that narcissists cannot experience. Yes, they do try. They have this false image. They make it look like they have the perfect family, perfect children, perfect marriage. Yeah, they put it all on social media. It looks great. But in reality, we all know it's nothing like that. We all know it's fake. We're just pretending. They just put on a show to look normal. Here's the thing. If someone is really happy with themselves and happy with their lives, they're happy with their partner, with their family, with their marriage, with their whatever it is that they have. They're really happy with that. Of course, they're going to be happy for you and they are going to want you to move on and to be happy. Of course, yes, they are going to want that, but they do not want that for you. They do not want to let you go. They do not want you to move on. And it always comes back to the fact that it's because that they are not happy. They're not happy with themselves and their lives, no matter what it is, that they're showcasing to you that they're flaunting on their social media. It doesn't matter. Quite clearly, they're not happy with it. Quite clearly, it isn't real. If they had something real, they would want you to have something real. If they were happy, they would want you to be happy. As with and so without, how a person treats you, it is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves. So they won't let you go because they cannot let their false identity go. They cannot let go of the false self, which is tied to you and revolves around you. It revolves around how you're doing, where you are, who you're with. Just revolves around your situation and your life. If your situation or your life changes, it impacts them. It affects their false identity, which they have built to revolve around you because it's tied to you. It's all tied to their self-esteem and their inflated ego. That is why they cannot let you go. I mean, they would at least have to have a suitable replacement for you. And that would be very difficult for them to find someone else like you. Because you're just a very caring person. You're very empathic. If you find this video helpful, don't forget to hit that thumbs up button down below. It helps the YouTube algorithm to get this very important message out there. But I'd like to hear from you down below as well in the live chat. Let me know about your situation. What's going on with you? And then ask, they're not letting you go. They're not letting you move on. They're not letting you begin a new relationship with someone else. Let me know in the live chat down below. I will read it out and respond to you. Charity Udoka says I'm now a happy person. And Paris Marie as well says I'm raising my virations. Happy to hear that. These positive comments. You know, that's what I want for one of you. But as I've said it before, even for my exes, that would be great to hear that they have actually moved on. They are in a healthy relationship with someone. Of course, the reality is that's unlikely to happen with narcissistic people. Just look at how they treated us. But it makes me happy when I see that other people are happy for real. I mean, it's mutually beneficial. When people are happy, they want you to be happy as well. Amy Lynn. I'm glad you like my work. Henry Torres is sending love from NYC. I've never actually been to the U.S. at all. But I guess at this point I'm in Japan right now. So I'm probably not too far away from the U.S. I may be closer to there than the U.K., I think. J.S. says I'm in no contact, but he is still at me. Yeah, this is what they do. Very possessive and controlling. Always stalking and harassing. Because it's their false identity. It's tied to us. That's why they're so controlling. Because anything we do that is outside of the false character that they have assigned to us, that threatens their false self. That's why they get so insecure and they get so mad when you try to go off and do things on your own. That's why they don't like it. Because their false identity is tied to you. There's no separate existence of their own outside of you. Even when it looks like they're moving on with someone else, usually that's just to hurt you to make you jealous. Or it could be to make someone else jealous. Whatever it is, their identity is always tied to other people. It's never a self-identity from within. It's always dependent on how other people act or behave or what they do, where they go, who they're with. Very rare that I've asked that question. Paris Marie asks, are you having fun? I guess right now I am just sitting in the car, looking out at this beach. I find that at this point in my life, 34 now, I tend to have the most fun when I am alone. Difficult to find peace around other people. What I really hope is that I could meet someone who's maybe shy, introverted, quiet and peaceful, a good listener. Doesn't have to be someone who is especially attractive or impressive in any way, just a regular person. Yes, that person could be very special to me. But until that time, just being alone, yes, that is fun for me. And generally, I am actually happy most of the time. Didn't always used to be that way for me though. A few years ago, I was suffering from depression. Before I found my purpose and created this channel, DruidVW says we are not their drug of choice, not anymore, not ever again. That's really it. I was watching a video by Sam Vakinen just the other day and he compared narcissistic supply to Coke. It's no different to these cocaine addicts. It has very similar effects on the brain, the addiction. And that's what we were to them, this drug. They have this dependency on us. They're heavily dependent on us thinking, feeling, acting and behaving in a certain way, in a way that is predictable or controllable. They're dependent on our emotional responses or reactions. And as I said, it's to maintain this false sense of identity for themselves. That's all that it really is. They need us far more than we ever needed them. But they had to manipulate us, trick us, deceive us, future fake, lie, to keep us stuck, to keep us holding on. So that we could continue to provide this emotional regulation to them when we're feeding their ego, making them feel important. I mean, they have to make themselves seem relevant to us. So that they are able to keep us around to do that. But the reality is, if you really take a step back and look at them, they're not really significant or relevant to you in any way. They just tricked you into misinterpreting or misperceiving them or something else. All of the things they pretend to be about, the way they marriage you, they imitate you, they reflect it back to you, your own qualities and virtues. None of that really has anything to do with them anyway. They were never really about that. For real, that was you. That's who you are. And they just steal it. They reflect it back to you. So that it keeps you locked in, it keeps you stuck, which is what they want because their false identity is tied to you. Maricela Burns says, will stay with me even if he has to pay $3,000 a month as my roommate. Even though we are not together, he gets controlling of me. Weird, but living with him is horrible and not worth it. Why? Yeah, that's just it. They're very possessive and controlling of you. And it's funny because you look at your experience, it's no good for you. You're not happy. And that just shows they don't really care about who you actually are. It's all about just keeping you down, keeping you stuck so that you can provide a false sense of self for them, for them having the ability to control you. They don't actually care about your feelings, desires, wants and needs. They don't care about any of that, anything of who you actually are as a person. It's all just manipulation and deception to prop up their false self and the illusion. That's what your purpose is in their false reality. That's what they use you for as their object, as their possession. That's why we remain tied to them in this trauma bond and we're miserable. We're not even happy. We just want to get away from them. But they won't leave us alone because often and only to you the entire time they viewed you as an extension of themselves. You're this component, this part of who they view themselves to be. So you need to be a certain way. You need to be in a certain condition, in a certain situation so that they can feel like they are who they desire themselves to be. If you're going off on your own and you're doing what you want, that affects how they see themselves, how they feel about themselves, how they perceive themselves and they don't want that to happen. They have to control you so that they can control this image and perception of themselves. Of how they see it in their minds. So that's really it. I really can't go much deeper than that on this topic. I mean, that's what it really is. They won't let you go because it's a stain in this false sense of identity for them. It's feeding their ego, propping up their false self and the illusion. This false image that they've created for themselves where they are all powerful, significant, relevant, attractive and desirable or whatever else they deem to be a source of power for themselves and it regulates what would otherwise be their very low self-worth and self-esteem because they're very insecure and that's really as deep as it goes. That's really all that it is if they had their own separate identity of their own which is not connected or tied to you and they could regulate themselves. They had fair amounts of self-worth and self-esteem. They weren't so insecure. Then they could just let you go quite easily. It wouldn't be so difficult for them because they wouldn't be so heavily dependent on you as their life force, as their life support. It wouldn't be that important to them but this is why it is important to them and they can't let you go because of their low self-worth and self-esteem because they have no real separate identity of their own. Their false sense of self is tied to you. That is why they cannot let you go. And if you ever did get away, if it was outside of their control, they may just attempt suicide or take it out on someone else or if it is within their realm of control then they will come after you. They will track you down. They will try to sabotage your new relationship. They will try to get you fired from your job, target you financially. They will try to just destroy your life, destroy your reputation, smear your name. They will do whatever they possibly can just to get you back out of their control again because without you, they are very insecure about who they are because what they have is a false identity and they need to control you to prop up their false self and their false reality. So that is it. That is as deep as it goes. At least at this point in my experience and research, maybe in a few months, one year, I will be able to go even deeper into this but for now, this is as deep as it goes for me. This is an arch-survivor role. As deep as it gets, it can't get any deeper than that. If you found this video helpful, it is very important for you to hit that thumbs up button down below. Helps the YouTube algorithm to get this very important message out there to other survivors. So if you want to help other survivors, other victims of narcissistic abuse to receive this very important information, all you've got to do is hit that thumbs up button down below. It will take you two seconds and let me know your thoughts about this video in the comment section below. As always, I am reading your comments every day and don't forget to hit that subscribe button and click all notifications so that you will be notified of my videos when I upload them. And if you would like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me, just head to my website, it is NarcSurvivor.co.uk. You can also follow me on Instagram. My Instagram is NarcSurvivor YouTube. You can send me a message on there. I will reply. I post new pictures and videos of my travels every day on my Instagram. So follow me on there. It is NarcSurvivor YouTube. All right, that's all for this video. I'd just like to thank you all for joining me. I do appreciate your support. And as always, I look forward to talking with you in another video very soon.