 Hey there, lovers and friends! All right, before we start this video, there's two questions I would love for you to answer before we dive into the content. Also, quick reminder, please keep watching until the end of this video for very important safety information about my sponsor, Fexi. All right, here are your two questions. Are you ready? Question one, are you single, in a relationship, married, or in a relationship and have a new baby? Question number two, or actions is more of an activity. In the comments section, put an emoji that perfectly describes your sex life as it is today. Not like literally today, like this time in your life. Go! All right, so maybe you chose this emoji. Maybe you chose this one or this one. And the point of today's video is to get all of you to this one because myself and my sponsor, Fexi, are teaming up to present you tips for incredible sex at any age and stage of your intimate life. Now, if you follow me on Instagram, you heard me talk about Fexi, the only on-demand, hormone-free prescription birth control that you get delivered directly to your home, and if you stick around until the end of this video, I'm going to tell you so much more about them. Right now, though, I'm going to take you through some tips that you can implement starting today to improve your sex life, whether you are single, in a relationship, married, or a new parent who's in a relationship. All right, let's start things off right now with some game-changing skills from my single folks. If you have a vulva and you're not committed to anyone, I have just one ultra-powerful pro tip that can increase your frequency of orgasm with a partner by up to 88%. Are you ready for it? Get good at talking dirty. People think that dirty talk is saying the wildest thing you can think of in the moment. No. When done correctly, dirty talk is the name of the language you utilize to describe what you like in the bedroom, usually while you're in the actual act of doing your thing. According to a survey sourced by Dr. Laurie Mintz, when masturbating 95% of women orgasm, in first-time hookups with other women, women orgasm 64% of the time, but in first-time hookups with men, women orgasm just 7% of the time. Yes, our societal conditioning that pushes this penis-centric heteronormative sex as the default is at fault here, but the good news is that there is an immediate solution that lies right directly within you and on your tongue, and that's where dirty talk comes into play. So get good at talking freaky so you can rewrite the script of faulty ideals around what women want. Even if you're not currently having sex with anyone, practicing the language of dirty talk will help you to clarify exactly what you like and how you like it. That way, if you ever do decide to add someone else up into your mix, you'll have a master class on how you like to be pleased to give to them. Okay, so that in mind. Here's some words or phrases that have helped me to clarify my needs, and they might help to spark your own imagination. Lick it in a circle. Personally, I'm not really a lollipop. I'm more like an ice cream cone. So I prefer consistent and slow stimulation. I love it when you put your palm right above my and want to know what else you can use dirty talk for having important conversations on sexual health, including family planning and birth control. Tell your partner what you want to happen and what you definitely do not want to happen and invite them to do the same. All right, so now I want to talk to my folks out there who are in a relationship with a consistent sexual partner. At this point, the two of you probably know each other's bodies decently well, but there is always an opportunity to learn more. So I want to talk about three lesser known spots that are in and around the vulva that can really enhance your sexual experience. Side note, I want to note that stimulation of the spots I'm about to mention does not always or even often lead to orgasm. And in my opinion, disassociating pleasure from having to lead to orgasm or to be valid is a huge step that can open up a world of pleasure and better sex as is. So that's tip number one, the use spot. The use spot is positioned at the opening of the vagina directly above into either side of the urethral opening. Now, if you ever felt like one of the best parts of penetration is the entrance, it's likely because you enjoy having your U spots stimulated. To achieve this pleasurable and powerful erotic sensation, have your partner lightly stroke around the vaginal opening and then have them walk their fingers around your vulva, applying pressure at various points. Make sure your partner doesn't get distracted by the clitoris or the G spot. So the use spot and other parts of the vulva get their due attention. The spot is located in the interior for next, which is the archway surrounding the cervix. The A spot is deep into the vaginal canal and is best located by using a middle finger fully inserted. Sorry for the curse word right there or with a long and slender toy. Warning, the A spot is not the cervix. So make sure if you're trying to stimulate this spot to not go straight up and down because the cervix is painful for many when stimulated, but when you press forward towards the belly button, that's when you can get into the fornix area. Leo spot, this is the A spot, but in reverse. So same technique you would use, you would go deep into the vaginal canal, but instead of pressing forward towards the belly button, you would now press towards the anal region. Now this spot is responsible for why many people with vulvas enjoy anal sex and some are even able to achieve orgasm. And if you want to give your partner an extra wow factor, why not try stimulating the A spot and the O spot at the same time? Moving on, let's talk about the best sex ever while you are married. Now I have been married for close to three years now and I can say, even though that's not a long amount of time, I've already started to notice changes in our sex life. Now some of those changes have been positive and some of those changes have been challenges. Now the positive side is that I feel like Jared and I have entered into this complete judgment free zone when it comes to sexuality. When we are in the bedroom, we can try anything and if we try something and it doesn't work out, we know we have a partner who is committed to being there with us. On the flip side, one of the challenges with having a partner that you have sex with for a long period of time with the notion that this is the person you're going to be having sex with for the rest of your life is that it does result in a difference in the way you experience passion. I'm being very deliberate about my language here because I think a huge mistake a lot of people who are married make is they assume that because passion doesn't feel or show up the same in their relationship, that means that it's gone. It doesn't mean that it's gone. It just means again that you've got to look for it in other areas. So when you first get together, passion shows up in the form of butterflies and that rush of adrenaline when that person just walks by you. I think when you're in a marriage, it shows up in acts of thoughtfulness, in consideration, and in the intention to create sexual moments, even though the environment could be anything but that. I think when you first get together with somebody, passion is texting somebody like, oh my God, like how many orgasms do you want tonight? And then when you're married, it's that text followed up with, oh yeah, what kind of soil did you ask me to buy for the plants that you just got? Here's an interesting fact for you. Falling in love is stressful on the body, but being in love is healthy for the body. When we fall in love, we experience an increase in cortisol, the stress hormone, but studies show that when we develop an attachment to someone, oxytocin can actually work to inhibit cortisol production and stress response. That's why researchers say that true love probably begins when the hormonal cocktail stops working. So in short, the truth of the matter is things are going to change with time and you need change. But I think some people make the mistake of assuming that if things are different, that must mean you have to change partners. But there's a ton of other options before it comes to that. Try changing where you have sex, what time you have sex, what order you pleasure each other in, even changing up our birth control has been hot to me. For example, with Fexi, the birth control that's under my control, before we get started, I excuse myself to get ready, which I think helps to build up the anticipation. So it's a little, excuse me. I like it. Lastly, it would be odd for me to talk about great sex at any stage of a woman's life without acknowledging what stage I am currently in. And that is reimagining what our sex life looks like after we have had a baby. And because this is a place that I am currently experiencing, rather than giving advice, because I'm still learning as I go, I want to share some personal ahas that have helped me unpack this journey. Aha number one, having sex makes me a better mom. So it's important that I remove the guilt associated with prioritizing my pleasure. The truth is that even as I'm making this video right now, I am experiencing mom guilt. And we all know what that is. It's this thought and this voice in your head that says that you're supposed to be doing something with and for your child. And to combat that voice, I have learned I have to talk and reason directly with it. So when I talk to that voice, who makes me feel bad for making time to get it in with my partner, I remind that voice that, hey, orgasm and sex are healthy for you and your body. They put you in a better state of mind. It improves your heart health. It improves your clarity. It reduces stress. All things that your child can directly benefit from my second aha is that my body looks different. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it looks worse, especially if I'm willing to work with those changes. So for example, my belly button, the skin on my torso, my nipples and randomly the heels on my feet all had a total makeover since I became a mom. To pivot with these changes, I've invested in lingerie that I can keep on during sex. And interestingly enough, I have found the nearly nude space while being intimate is extremely erotic. Rather than forcing myself to be comfortable, I put myself in things that celebrate what I do want to be looked at and what I do want to be accentuated during my most raw and intimate moments. And no matter what happens in my body in the future, I'm definitely going to keep teddies in my rotation because I think they're hot as hell. My last aha and I talked about this in the video that I had directly with Jared about our sex life since having a baby foreplay has got to be an all day thing in order to give the erotic a chance at thriving, because the truth is in order for Jared and I to get to a space where we can be intimate, Ryu's nap time, our alone time, our free time and our libidos all have to perfectly align at the exact right moment. So if we aren't stoking the fire all day long, when we look up and realize that now is our time, it's really difficult to get into that space. So I asked and I've made a request that, hey, even if we're doing unsexy things, changing diapers, taking out the trash, doing taxes, whatever, we need to have these moments that's just between us, these tiny nanosecond exchanges that we remind each other that you are my intimate partner and you are still hot as hell to me. Maybe we aren't doing super sexy things, but I still see you as someone sexy and sexual. So again, when we do have moments where we can be sexy and sexual, we've already been creating that energy all day long, brick by brick. So because my sex life is currently on demand and very inconsistent, I wanted to find a birth control that kept with that same energy, which is why I'm currently using sexy. Sexy is an on demand hormone free option that I insert and control myself. What I like about it is a hormone free option because I am currently still breastfeeding and because we aren't quite sure yet where we're going to sit in terms of expanding our family, it's nice to have something that, again, is on demand and we can constantly have that revolving conversation around what our family planning looks like today, tomorrow and 10 years from now. If you are in a similar situation and you want more freedom, comfort and control out of your birth control, I highly suggest that you check out sexy. Sexy is a hormone free on demand birth control option that you can insert into your vagina up to an hour before each act of sex. The application is easy. There is no cleanup and it works great with my body. If you are interested in learning if it could work great with your body, then please go to get sexy.com to speak with a healthcare provider to see if sexy could be a fit for you. Thank you so much for checking out this video and watching all the stages. I'm excited to read the comment section and find out where you're at, what you're looking for and to learn a thing or two. Do not use if you have a history of repeated urinary tract problems. Side effects include vaginal burning, itching, discharge, genital discomfort, yeast infection, urinary tract infection or bacterial vaginosis. Sexy does not protect against STIs.