 Those are medieval robots. After almost four hours of looking on eBay, Amazon, Mercury and multiple shopping websites and thrift stores across the country and states, Thomas thankfully handed over the company's DVD player. Part 3 was weird. Instead of a VHS tape, it was a burnt DVD disc, like those cheap bootlegs you'd find in shady parts of town or a media copy of a movie they'd probably own. And the website from the last post only came with the repeated message of, Patrick is not my friend. It tried downloading an EXE named, Patrick.EXE, but I swiftly stopped the download because it was flagged as a virus. Matt, it's not gonna be one of those cliched Sonic.EXE clones. I noticed something odd. The cover for the DVD was the title card of the episode. Wow, it was way different than the original. Vibrant colors, a cassette tape, and a bland font saying the name of the episode. I dug deeper into the reason for the change. According to animation director Tommy Yasumi, the episode was originally a happy episode with a different plot, but they wanted a darker take on the idea of secrets. I never knew the episode was meant to be something different than before. Speaking of being different, the DVD started with a frame of Patrick sitting on his chair with an illuminating light above his head. Two voices were heard, both different male voices. I'll make sure to organize what was said from one voice to the other. How sad. A starfish keeping a secret so disturbing for their friend. How dare you! You've done something so shockingly bad. You better be glad no one called the cops on you barnacle breath. You're a complete failure, mistake, and an absolute jerk for disregarding yourself and keeping secrets. Now tell us, what's in the box? What's in the goddamn box, Patrick? Patrick Star! Fuck. My TV broke. But how? Why? Why now? I screamed for help. Anyone? Please God. One of my workers rushed in and replaced the TV with a backup, even helping plugging the DVD player in. I pressed play. The DVD booted to original footage. It was SpongeBob's dialogue piece before sneaking and looking at the box. What could be in that box that Patrick doesn't want me to see? Maybe it's the world's only albino jellyfish. Or maybe Patrick's a master jewel thief when it's full of diamonds. Or maybe Patrick's a deranged maniac who keeps his victims severed heads in a box. The screen gritched and cuts to another piece of dialogue. Now what's in that secret box? I'm not gonna rest till I do. That's it. How do you look into a secret box? Secretly, of course. I'll just take the box while Patrick's sleeping, look inside, and before Patrick even has time to notice, I'll slide it back. Patrick won't know and I'll have my own little secret. Good idea, eh, Gary? No. I couldn't believe it. Another setup, again. What was I missing? Is there another key I'm missing? What is it? I was so pissed. I slid my hands across the papers and documents, causing the pile to smack against the wall and flop on the floor. Wait, maybe the papers are gonna explain it. Well, I'm sorry if I'm cutting this short, but by this point, the ARG is cutting corners and becoming more backwards than have you seen my boy and the VHS combined. July 25, 2005 was a better ARG and more organized than this cock-emily, not sure what that quote-in-quote word means, ridiculous backwards-ass-spitting ARG. God damn. Well, I better get digging before I'm yelled at for raging too hard. Stay tuned for part three, or, I mean part four. Part four I guess.