 When Zaxxay's wipes your bloodline from the face of you. Ah! This is the point where I say this is a family-friendly channel. It was a great promotion! I want one of these days for... SCREAM! I can't imagine fighting the Cyclops' thugs with it now. What the... Sorry, what? What just happened? Oh, flashback. Cassandra! Alexis played Despacito. Ah, looking good. No, I'm dead! He killed the equal bearer. Oh God, who... Is my horse dead? Oh, my horse isn't dead. Thank God. Clepto-Smith. I'm alive somehow! Hello! Who are you? You need to take a step back. Nobody talks to me like that! Is that his ship? Jesus! We'll take this guy. Because he's a big... Oh, wait, whoa! Whoa! Guys! What are you doing? Help! Help! You've left your captain! All the way over there? Haha, he's just like... Oh, oops. Oh, God, I didn't mean to fire. Hello, Piggy. Oh, that's me! Yay! What are you doing? What are you doing? I put blood all over his head! Oh no, the poor little ship... Oh, it got away though. Oh, did it! Ah! What's going on with the guys in the background? This is having a great time, aren't they? Ah, da! Nobody has fun in here! Stop dancing! May the light of Apollo guide you to your family. Oh, that's very different... to what you told me to start. Apollo's light will kill you. Now it will guide you. Oh, what is... Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Oh, God, I'm gonna die! No! All right, guys. See you later. It's been fun. Let me take your horse. Bye-bye! Ah! Yes, it is I bow before beard fish. Hello. Get this! Oh, look who he's just talking to. You! Somebody was spotted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tiger going home. Can't wait to squeeze so many oranges on this thing. Get tested. For STDs! You are the human. Ah, me. Oh, God. Hello. Oh, my God. Oh, I'm gonna die! No! Serve me well. Can I call another one? Phobos. Phobos, not available. How are you doing, son? Oh, God. Yeah. That was simple. Oh, it also knows when I'm inside as well. Must have a sensor. Good job I grabbed that before I went. Otherwise, this whole trip would have been a waste of time. It's an Animus console prototype, a braum invariant with the IO capacities pushed to their max. Ultra portable with more calculating power than NASA answered. Oh, God. That was just like, I think I just zoned out there. You make your own luck, remember? Why do people keep telling me that? Oh, my God. Stop telling me that. Can't believe a laptop can speak. Like, this is pointless except to explain some plot. Geez. Wanna have some fun? Bring me the lamp. Or in this case, I guess it would be spear. Ah, okay. Very good. You're a terrible shot. Jesus. She's got no shadow. She's a vampire. Oh, that's reflection in it. Ah, close enough. But if you don't know where she is, that means she abandoned you too. How sad. Why say that? To make you an elixir that will give you the vigor of a man, a fraction of your aides. God save me. I cannot do this anymore. Just pay me, Jesus. Will someone just pay me? I'm so sorry, mate. What? Well, there he is. I'll take you away. Don't worry. I'm safe enough. Does anyone realize? Ah! No! No! That's so not fair. Oh, Jesus! No! Join us in our epic quest. Aren't we great for lexios? Man of many words. Find my ship and my yiki, will you? Sorry, I missed that. What's a geek? An amazing discovery, guys. This whole time recording, I had the saturation wrong. So everything has been freaking colored yellow. It wasn't the... I was going to say, what's he going to do? Oh, he's got a spear. Pony. Pony. Are you coming? Hold on. Come on, dude. You're coming with me. Get out of the way. I've got sapphires. Oh, an opportunity that went unseen by your eyes. And a smelly smell that got smelled by her smelly nose. Oh, that's a big deer. Oh, my God. Jesus. It was a whole family of everything. Go, Whippet. Surprise. You've caught a merman. Sorry. Oh, he got eaten by a shark. That's a dolphin. No. Are they going to kill the dolphins? Are they going to save the dolphin? We had the deer. Oh, God. Jesus. Freaking wolves. You tripped over Phobos. You'll pay. Are you Athenian scum? Do not hit my Phobos. You pig. Nope, Phobos is completely stuck. He's part of... Oh, I'm on your narcissistic prick. I am a god. Bloody up his own ass, isn't he? Look at that. That guy's dabbing. What the hell? They had dabbing before it was cool. Toxic. That bird likes to sing. Oh, she got up. Okay. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. He... And we killed both of them, which we were now buried right next to each other. Very dignified. Hold on. There's people there just being attacked. Look at them. They're just standing still, getting attacked by the wolves, and doing nothing. I hid in bush two. There was three guys there. There's only one left. Look at him. What's he doing? He's just watching the wolves attack him. Also, why do the wolves have pointy faces? Again, I watched the last video through and I still kept on missing loot. I'm so sorry. You're like, BLEEBOS! I got a wolfies! There you go. But steal the war supplies? Yeah. And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... Hello, buddy! Lovely shield. I love the design. You've got owls. Woo! Oh, boy, smelly like fish over... Woo! They're all standing here. They're going to be picked up by the eagles. The eagles are coming, Gandalf! The oil! Oh, no! Oil it burns! No fire! No bite! Wait, what's going on here, Leak? Bam! Who is this, kidder? Oh, she's going to help me. What? What? W-Excuse me? Where did these guys come from? Oh, Jesus! Seems like Odessa's been causing some problems for them. And they're also after her father's estate. I like how I'm saying that right next to her. I thought I was talking to her. You've been a naughty girl. Show me what you mean. God, Alexos. You're so thirsty. Jesus. Odysseus was a great lover, too. This guy is just coming up as a complete sex pest. Hey, look! What's this kid doing? What are you doing? He's like smashed a pot. You're a terrible mercenary. Let's not talk, then. Oh! Oh! Oh! Do we see stuff? Am I going to have to edit this out? Oh, good. All right. So, wait. This is your treasure? I'm so sorry, pooch. I don't want to kill things, but I don't have to. Especially if the... Oh, he's in the mountain. Let's go say you don't touch my wolf! Go on, get him. Get him, wolf. Oh, he killed him! The lion's like, Ah! Get him, wolf. Yes! I'm actually just owning a shop and then seeing this. Poosh. Sorry, dude. I've just got to be careful. I haven't been hit, so... There it is. He ran away. A new world. Stubbing the goats. And the elks. Can't forget the elks. Don't play favorites here. I take all pelt. Oh, that's a snake! Oh, that's a snake! Is that a clue to what's going to be inside? Big breasted women. Ha, I'm coming. No big boulders. See a bloody snake already. Yo! Oh, I'm on fire! I'm dead. I can already see there's a snake in that pot. Goddammit. Yeah, there you go. Come on, he's like, yeah, walkies! He's not dead though. Now he is. Oh, he's like, no, there's a dead dude. Who could have done such a thing? Wolf. How did you get in here? Oh, he used the door. Oh, is that him? Just, just stand up. And I'll take it from here, Pericles. Oh, what a waste of a tomato. Oh, God! Didn't see him. There you go. That's a lot of snakes. What the hell were you doing in here? Sounds like a hilarious practical joke to me. The Poisoner. Hello, how you doing? He's just like slowly getting up while I'm piking up. Oh, these, these are the bandits that I said I wouldn't kill. Well, they're dead now. You didn't think you could attack one of us and get away with it, did you? Come on, then, fight! Oh, he did that without moving his lips. That was the weirdest thing he did there. Did you see that? My God. Get off! Get off! Into the water! I love perching. Oh, God! No, not just, damn it. There's a, there's a boar at the temple killing people. All right. Sorry about this, Mr. Boar. Came to the wrong place. We're having bacon tonight! Friends come in all shapes and sizes. I have an eagle and he's a close friend of mine. Wow, really? That's so cool. Ah, I hate you! Excuse that. Miss this to me. She made me bald. Oh, that's a shame. Oh, well, see you later. Would you, would you? Get out of my way, man. He's so pretty. Why'd you have to ruin it? Stealth attack! Wait, the other guy shouldn't have seen me. Oh, he's alive. There you go. Now he's dead. Okay, is the bear still chasing me? No, Burn Bear stays behind. Oh, Jesus! Burn Bear could teleport! Get out me bear forest! Are you okay, Mr. Bear? Oh, okay. All right. Look at this for a shot. I didn't even know how I managed this. Me, me! Do I smash? Smash! Jesus, that gave me a shock! Bloody hell! I'm gonna die. Yeah, oh my God! Oh God, now he's... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, well, that's... Well, that escalated bloody quick, didn't it? Yeah, don't happen problems. I don't need you right now, okay? Yeah, you suck. Hey, that bear. I hear that. I hate you. I hate everybody. I'm gonna end it all. You ready to ride? I mean, I don't know. I couldn't even take on the other dude. I can't take them on. I can't take these guys on. Level 28. At level 18. 10 levels high. I can do this. Oh, no! Yeah! I got the right idea, though. I got the right idea. Sorry, I completely zoned out there for a second. What are we going for again? There's no way to kill this person without anyone... without them seeing me. Hiya. How you doing? Right, now to lose him. That was pretty easy, wasn't it? Ooh, sharp point. Better spear. Good, good. Let's go. Bless my soul. Let's use on a roll. Here I go, jumping from a building. Oh my God. No! They need killing! All of them die! Oh, what happened with that guy? Hello? Hey guys, you talking about me? In these kinds of games. Oh my God. Sorry you had to see that. No. Really? Oh, come off it. Bugger off. Sick of you. I want no trouble and you keep on trying to kill us. Oh, I thought we were going to play cards. Yeah! I'm also going to take his treasure. Oh, come on, really? No! There are freaking women around here! It's all they seem to bloody hate me. I don't want to. I don't want to kill anybody. Oh. Hey, yeah. Oh, oops! There's a bloody bounty on this. That was so funny. He was like, whew! I was just talking to him and he's being knocked out on the floor. What's going on? At least I know how to deal with him now that I know what he's after. Oh my God, you gave me loads of money. Oh, cheers, pet. I didn't mean to ask for it. Oh, check in! Frickin' check in! Spawn of the Devil! Oh, another one! Are you havin' fun up there? Not talking today? Nope, nothin'? Something's up with that bird. It's got a plan. Yes, victory! Now, where's my fair maiden? Dude. Are you gonna run? Come on, you just seen us kill everybody. Why would you even try this? I went horribly wrong. This is Corinthia, so we'll do it the Corinthian way. Hookers! Yay! Who knew my mother? She was big fucking trouble. Get the fuck off my streets! Stop swearing! Get the fuck off my streets! Well, he's about to be dead. Oh, oh God. The city one nuts! Oh my God! We're gonna have to censor that? Well, it's just blood splats. There's no actual goal. Oh, nope, there it is. There's the goal. Oh, yeah, this is why. No, you don't. Oh, there's a deer! Oh God! I'm so sorry, Mr. Deer. I didn't mean to. Do you really want to go? Really, still? All right then. All right, let's kill you. Right in the gob. What? Where did this thing come from? Well, I can, I can bloody tame it, so I'm going to. There we go. I hope you can tame great white sharks. That'd be awesome. Right. Okay, what's the best way to take out of these snakes? I know. I have purified the bath house. God, I look magnificent with all my armor. Look at the fashion sense. Red on gold. Wait, why are you walking backwards? What? Jesus! Who is this guy? He's invincible. Oh no, he's gonna... Gonna kill me, Kate. No! Don't, they're kitty cat. Oh, I'm level 22. Looks like no way I can get them off. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to kill her. Brrrr! Oh, you didn't even notice? Didn't even notice your friend die? Oh my God, you're inept. All right, let's house any of this guy. Wait, what? We're not, why are we not? Okay, kick him. And... Oh, yes! Okay, guys, you ready? All right, okay. Oh, there it is! Jesus, it's huge! Tick down a proud alliance. What a... Dammit. Ha ha ha ha ha! Never mind. Can't even take on a single lion. Oh, he's helping us! Dude! You boss! I will pay you if you help me slaughter this thing. They've already decided to attack. They started it! Yah! Yah! Phobos can fly! With a new DLC! Oh my God. Oh, Phobos? Phobos? Phobos! What do you think? Who tried to kill me? I did! Whoa, what is that? It's Mopey Dick! What's it doing in the shallow waters like this? Jesus! Icarus! Must be getting close. Never mind, it's not Icarus. I was so happy for a second. What? You heartless cow! Poor baby. Must be cold. But I will synchronize! I just hear a monster. I don't know! Oh, apparently this isn't even stealing. So... I hope you don't mind if I just take all your offerings. We found gold, boys! Good, good, good. Okay, I'll be back with the gold soon enough. Yah! Stab! Right! Oh, oops. I just murdered everybody. I'm so sorry! Oh my God, all the damage. Hehehehe! Well, this was fun! See you guys! Oh God! Hello! Little bit of an echo. I like it. Well, at least it's got a hobby, I suppose. Other than just following me. Persuade this woman to join my crew. Please join my crew. Hurry! Yah! Explode! Oh my God! I'm so sorry! You want me dead? I hate you! You're the source of all me problems! Really? We're gonna do this. We're gonna... You know what's sudden is? I'm sick of playing the good guy. You couldn't just let this all lie. It's like, oh my God, a whole village was massacred here. You damn right it was! Sorry, dude. And that is how we slay the whole city. Look at that. Oh my God. Oh, you killed me, lion! You did it! All this time, I was wondering... Oh, I'm gonna kill you all! What's it pe- Ooh! Filonia the Death. Oh no, is she deaf? My dog's deaf. He's hilarious. Hehehehe! Burn the leader! Burn him! Hehehehe! He's a witch! Burn the witch! Your shields can't protect you from fire! Ah! Fire! Yes! Who you are! Bush! There we go, mount! Ah! Oh, what's happened to you? You know what it is, I'll leave this city for two bloody seconds. You kidding me? Heee! I can't catch a break, you're always here! Wools! Um... So, how's the family? Get! Oh... Okay, I guess I'll leave it there. Look at the balance! Are you winning? Witnessing this greatness! It's not deep water, we're fine! We're just crossing the channel. Don't you randomly break on me. Oh God, oh God, oh God, really? No, really? Ah! Ah! Hey, do you mind like stopping for a second? Thank you! Cheers! See you later! Woohoo! And what exactly do we have in common? We've both got complicated paths to both killers. I wasn't expecting you to ask. It's time we got going. Oh my God, what happens when, you know, we do the thing, and then... And then we go... I take it back to the boat, and Odessa's there, and... Oh no! Oh, I should have thought this through! To work from what I've heard, he's much more. Oh yes I am! Oh God, I love when you talk about me. Here it comes! The boot! BOOM! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do! Ah, it's the best. I love doing that. Are you not dead? Now you are. Oh, why can't I assassinate him? Is that because he's... Oh, hello? Hello? Alexios? Alexios? What just happened? Oh my God, why? Why does this have to happen? I can't click anything. The Lord to me's I've got my eye on someone who will be on a date. Oh My god all these women Alexios. Let's run chase me. What is he focusing on? He's got one eye on her forehead and one near the right on her eye Icarus look away damn it Ruins everything She transformed into a wolf Jesus. I'm starting a relationship with your daughter I know she's got daddy problems the best kind of woman But it would be easier if I didn't have to introduce myself to you. How you doing? How's it going? Enjoying having a girlfriend really good. This is this is not how it's supposed to go you hot-headed spot and scumbag. Well, you're dead, mate. I'm so sorry We're just not gonna mention that at all to her and be like hey, how you doing while he's dead now move on Also, it killed your ex. Yes a party. Yes. Oh, this looks gorgeous Well, this is a really big decision because it will impact I never imagined you'd both bring me so much sorrow Well, that went as good as it could bloody be expected. Please don't tell me that's it Do you have to keep doing that I've got leather straps What was that? Oh, no more talking. Oh, like really? You haven't seen anything yet. Oh Oh my god God Alexius moves fast, doesn't he? Watch me run backwards No, no, no, I mean it alright don't start no trouble Let the experienced people do their jobs Ah Is the artist or bear? artist artist It's a bloody bear. It'd be so funny if you just like took a big crap right in front of this person like having a drink Yeah God your bloody brain goes to weird places James. They always say when you die you void your bowels We're all three women holding the hands in weird positions. I only wanted a tablet I assume it's that orders. Wee What a roll a scroll roll and come back to me lamb Stop call me a lamb. I'm a cow And joblin just everything just just throw whatever we've got the kitchen sink if we have it It's just like God my son. Oh Didn't realize that he would turn out this weird. He wears a bull mask everywhere. You're right, buddy Yes, that dog peeing the dog is peeing. Okay, up we go go on horses. Oh Calm down. There's something I want to show you It's supposed to be help apparently But he hasn't returned from the war stent or I know I should have killed him on the beach where why Because he didn't return home. He might be dead. Also. What is with the really low polygonal hoplites behind them? I'm not gonna synchronize No, I don't want to do it. I'm my own person Fine God You Meet my healthy How did you came here? Oh you traitor. Oh, no, he actually said traitor I wish you hadn't. Oh, there's the flying fish again. Okay, so we're a tomb raider at the moment But you saw in the VR thing Yeah, I'm gonna kill you What happened there Invisible sword that's another coldest member down Hello somebody somebody jump pick up for joy My new favorite thing. Oh no, stay there stay there Yes, I did it see you later Leonidas was King Alexios and yet I grew up in the dirt I want to be rich and spoiled Hey, babe What the hell was the remand running a diaper? Well, let me make it up to you. I'll cook your rice for you There you go. That'll work, right? Enjoy your eyes. Oh Whoa What oh pray fellow. Yeah. Yeah. Oh Ah I win I'll give you a proper death Running in the 90s My god What a magical horse even in death and in water you have a ring my good sir Firing fine. Okay. How many that didn't work. Okay, come on. We're gonna fly me and you foremost. Let's go. Oh god Almost oh god, this isn't good. Oh I'm in bushes. Oh for god's sake There we go. Oh you want to dance? Oh Oh God the ball ball kill me bad. I like the idea that Fobos isn't tall Apart from when it says that oh my god Boris Boris. No leave him don't Boris Oh, did you run? He actually run? Oh, there he is Not what I meant. Oh, yeah. God damn it. Did Fobos count as a kill for me. That's why he's not available. Oh my god For seven days and seven nights Alexia's road all the way around the bay to get towards this weird testicle person No, oh and people are popping in. Oh, look at me Boris. You're not allowed to help Are they okay with that? Yes, okay, not really much of a cheer. Go on go on Go on go on go on go on Which ones you're gonna pick which one are you gonna yell at me today bulls? Haha, Icarus. Yes. Oh my god. Can you imagine just being attacked by all the animals? You can say, oh Oh hell yeah Papa father watch me watch me You probably noticed in my series. It's just kind of like killing this thing killing this thing fighting the new mean lion Fine And I completely frigging missed them. Oh god one final hit up the button. Okay in the house. There we go Go on you got issues when we're gonna Yeah Is he dead? Is he dead? Why are they always dead? Well, that was a boring 12 hours, but here we go. Oh my god That's cool. Oh Good kitty Griffin woman guardian of truth and knowledge Why the hell do you have a snakes tail? Can I ask again? What are you? Alexios put it together what no time. Oh my god, uh-uh-uh time. I'm Impressed. Oh, I got a right. Yes balls God, I hate it when you touch my face You know this place is gonna start stinking soon. I'm not made for ruling my king Well, that was the weirdest thing ever I'll bring her back no matter what dead or alive Oh the phone. Sorry. I just realized now. It's like what why do they sound like? Women singing it's because they they are all women's. Oh, that's cool. So go whoo. They go Is they don't have Adam's apples are you a woman because I'll take you with me crew you'd match perfectly I'm going for a female ensemble. My ship, please. Oh, oh my god. What are they holding trees? Come on. We got this me new buddy I'm fine No, it's a thing. Oh, oh god Okay, well good job with these stop talking about that yeah if I kill them I get murder and stuff right but if my lion kills them There's no consequence to this you can have your lion kill everybody in the entire city And you will not it will not have any consequence to anything. So that's how you end a party. Hey, look, it's Phoebe again Oh, Jesus Christ. I was gonna say just hit him once Look, I dropped her off right and she just hasn't moved for weeks weeks Get in the water I I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm wearing the necklace you bought me. I won't stand in its way Whoa, whoa, what? But wait, why did you did she just did she just explode into pigeons? Have you seen me L1 and R1 move it's pretty amazing watch Yeah Try to stop a feeling you'd like some fresh ones. No, please No, please. No, hey, oh Oh god Jesus. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh What's going on here fucking go bam? Oh my god, it's a bloody white Jesus Alright fair enough. I guess I'll go over here. You know, I don't really mean everything. I say to you, right It's just for the video. We I mean we get on right Oh, I love you, man Oh Go away you stupid bird Did he tell you anything about my father? He's dead your target is currently one level above you Do I give a rat's button? So is this about time to ask for a signature? I hate more trouble with the bloody Take it back. I take it back I'm the mine at all Have a little fun. No, no You've probably got all of those horrible diseases. My god hardly much of a muse is she not very amusing All right, let's go then Well, what happened to demo she was probably shot in the back. There you go. Whoo stinky. Okay. Now. Let me just skip through it all Wait a minute. I upgraded that to look so awesome. Why does it look like crap again? It's got a point, you know you look like a witness But I'll let you go this time. Oh my god. I almost didn't oh, okay, okay Why did it kill somebody like I just do the same things over and over do you know what I mean? Is a Jaguar, but nobody can replace you You're gonna be okay with me bring it. Oh, this might mess up the animations. Hold on. This could be awesome She's right here. All right I'm just gonna leave her here. Where are they? The only is done with you. I knew it I knew it Okay, he's just a big baby. Hey wait, you want to you want to fight as well really Just like a random confirm cultist kill wait, what was he he was a cultist Oops, well there we go God Bye I'll see you later