 Amazon. It's a name we all know. It's a name we all love. It's a name we all hate. They're going to continue to flourish and thrive long after our bodies have dried up and whittled into bones and dead husks on the sides of the road. That's just life. They offered a good service. They offered a convenient service for people and people jumped on it and they made profit off it. That's fair. That's wise. What I don't understand though is a company this big, this gigantic, with this many resources and talent team behind them, how can their video streaming service suck so much ass still in 2020? I have a fair amount of DVDs and Blu-rays. Nothing I would brag about per se, but there's a decent collection. I wouldn't set up a camera and film myself pulling them out individually and being like, oh, Transformers HD DVD? Why? And I do have that. I do have that on HD DVD. It's probably actually one of those boxes over there. I can see Gilmore Girls, the complete collection on DVD, the whole series, my wife's into them. I watch them too. I'm not going to pretend like I don't. I've seen the entire catalog. I enjoy what they have to offer. Aquatine Hunger Force. I can see over there. Scrubs. Yeah. And these aren't like the cheap collection. Here's a couple of them I just grabbed out. Look at this. Look at this yet. Look how thick these are and all that it is housing. I don't know how that's going to edit it out. There's just so much thick plastic here. Just for a few CDs. We have one, two, three, four. Are you kidding? Oh, five. Okay. There are five CDs in this mammoth monstrosity. Five. This is absolutely nuts. Do these line up? So help me God if they don't line up. Okay. They kind of do. But look at this shit. This is what I'm talking about. Look at the crests even of the WB. That one's way freaking smaller than the other ones. I'm ranting about different things. I understand that. We're talking about Amazon and I will get there. I promise. But my issue with collection, my issue with collecting is that there's no consistency ever. Like I have the South Park like seasons one through, I don't know, 14 or something over there before they all went to Netflix and went off Netflix. And now we're on Hulu and maybe they're not on Hulu anymore. I don't even know. I don't even know. The DVD, the companies that make that manufacture the covers or design them, they change over time or the studio changes that owns the rights. Like there's all sorts of crap that goes on behind the scenes. So then the case is getting consistent. So you might have like seven or eight seasons of sleeves that all line up. You have the beautiful pictures. You have the words go in the right way. And then suddenly in like season nine, the pictures up here or the words bigger or it's fatter or just the consistencies are completely off and that drives me nuts. It drives me fucking insane. So I don't brag about collecting stuff because stuff sucks and it goes old and it doesn't hold up well. It doesn't look nice when they change the way it looks. If you collect things, that's great. What I'm driving at is with digital offerings, that's one thing they could have avoided. That's one thing where the library could be cool again. Like I understand you have to turn the TV on to see the library, but at least there could have been like awesome wallpapers, you know, just images of each season. And they could have been consistent. They could have been pretty to set up. You could sort them. You could, you know, you could file them in folders. You could maybe like have a digital bookshelf. There's all sorts of cool things that could happen. Amazon isn't doing any of it. I have a lot of movies purchased on the stupid Amazon digital store. Why? Because I went in. I went all in early on when it was announced. There was Apple, you know, the Apple store where I could purchase stuff. I hated iTunes. I hated running things through that crap. So I was out. I think I own one movie on the iTunes store, which is, it's like one of the hobbits. It's like the second Hobbit movie. Desolation of Smaug is on iTunes. And then I own the other ones on Prime, Prime Video. So that's fun. That's a fun watch. Even though I could buy the entire Lord of the Rings collection, the saga for probably like 50 bucks or 40 bucks, Blu-ray and all. I just can't anymore. I just don't know what to do with my collections anymore. Nothing is working. So I have the Amazon video library, which is a shit show. There's no sorting at all, at least on the TV app, the computer app. I used to be able to download the video that I purchased and own. Can't do that anymore. You can't download your own movie. It just sits there. It belongs to Amazon. They're basically like leasing it to you. That's how a lot of these streaming services are. It's like, yeah, you kind of own it, but you don't. You're basically just leasing it. And at any time if we decide to change our service or how we operate, you might just lose access to it all together, which is a very real possibility. There's probably a service out there that is for collectors that is doing it correctly. And you get to see these beautiful lineups of your shows. You can probably curate, categorize, sort manually and not just rely on the computer to do it. What I really hate, a peeve of mine, one of the many, obviously, is that, and this goes for all streaming services like Disney Plus, Hulu, whatever, they will put a movie or two right next to each other because their titles are basically the same, but with a two after it. But the third movie or the fourth maybe has a different naming structure like Fast and the Furious and then the Fast and the Furious. So you'll see a bunch of Fast and the Furious movies, but it's like, oh, where's like the fifth one? And it's way down under the T, the T-H-E. It's under the T's. Like there's no consistency. So it would be so nice if I could just just manually sort or if I could go by genre or if I could go by alphabetical, you know, there's a lot of options here that aren't on the table. And Amazon is not a small company. They should have this stuff at my fingertips. I think the only sorting you can do is by movie and TV. I think, I mean, I think those are the options. You can't even sift out the kids shit. That's in there too. So I have like Terminator 1 and 2 and then it's like the Santa Claus or something or maybe it's like Santa Paws. Yeah, my wife made some very questionable purchases back in the day. I think she bought Boss Baby. Who once have known that Boss Baby was going to be free on basically every streaming platform at one point or another? Nobody thought I need to buy Boss Baby day one because this is definitely not a movie you're going to see on Netflix. Netflix is essentially the top shelf rental of the old Blockbuster videos or any movie rental store. You may be too young to know what a movie rental store is even at this point, which is just sad for me. But back in the Dizzle, you could go into a Blockbuster, a Hollywood video of Mr. Movies, whatever your flavor was, and you would have shelves and shelves of movies that were, I don't know, the order, how they arranged them there was even sketchy at best. But the top shelf was usually designated, dedicated to knockoff films. So if you had Twister, which was a huge hit, a Blockbuster movie with Bill Paxton and who is the woman? Why do I care? Anyway, you'd have Tornado. You'd have the child version of it, the sister version, that's not as good. There was Anaconda, which was the main one with J.Lo. Python was the bad one. Python was the bad one. Although it did have Casper Van Dion and I celebrate his entire catalog as well. So Netflix is typically where you find the Pythons. It's where you find the Tornados and not so much the Twisters or the Anacondas, although I do think they might have Anaconda on there, which reminds me, I should re-watch Anaconda. Helen Hunt, that's who is in Twister. God, I loved her. Still do. So no cataloging. It's the Wild West. If you purchased a movie six months ago on Amazon Video and you bought a bunch of movies since, you are just going to scroll, scroll, scroll until you find it eventually. Maybe certain versions of the app have different sorting features. I don't know. My Samsung TV doesn't. My TV upstairs doesn't. My TV over here doesn't. There's no options. Another thing I want to talk about briefly is the fact that their buying system of movies is even more ass than I think their actual library is. Let me walk you through a scenario that happened not too long ago. It was about Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse, a phenomenal animated film, one that I've seen multiple times and enjoyed. I bought it day one. I bought it day fun. Amazon Prime, they offer a standard definition, 1080p definition, and this Ultra HD edition, which they also sometimes call 4K. I've seen like three different labelings of it, and I don't know if it's Amazon just changing the way they label it over time, or if it's like the studio has a different naming for what they call it. So Amazon goes by that. I don't know. I don't think anybody knows. And I certainly didn't know when I purchased Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse. It would have been nice if there was clarity, because what happened was I get presented with Spider-Man, the posters there. I click on it. It's the standard definition. I don't know what the standard is even. 480p? Is that what they're going off of? 720p? I'm not sure. They then offer you the 1080p version. Okay. I'm not sure that that's the one though. I want the 4K. I have a 4K TV. I want a 4K experience on one of the prettiest movies. So what do I do? I go to the search, because you can't find the Ultra HD 4K under that. For some reason they're different skews. So I search into the Spider-Verse. The only one that shows up is the one I was on. So now I'm thinking, okay, are they just now calling the 1080p? Like is that the best offering of this film? Is that where we're at? I don't, I don't know. Is it gonna, is a 1080p, but it's actually 4K enhanced? I don't know. So I purchase it for $24.99 because I'm a day one sucker. And I think the movie's worth it. That's the bottom line. I am the top line. It's all the lines. And I enjoyed it. But part of me feels like I made a bad decision. And that part of me was right. Because not even a day later, it was that night. I went back onto the store. And what do I see? Front and fucking center. Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse. Little ribbon at the top. Ultra HD. Thank you, Amazon. Thank you for screwing me over. All I can do is clap for that. All I can do is clap for that. Lorelai and Rory say thank you, Amazon. Elaine smiling about it. She says thank you. This is one of the Seinfeld discs. This is one of the Seinfeld CDs. One CD in there. I think it came with four in each collection. Four of these thin ass little plastic things. Imagine how good Seinfeld and some of these TV shows could be categorized. You could have these beautiful like accordion openings with with the different faces of the characters. Maybe it's interactive. Maybe there's like Cosmo Kramer. He's like leaned up against the movie like pointing or he's even animated. And he's just like moving around doing stuff. You get the background music. So many possibilities. And they're not doing any of it. Maybe I should start a platform where I could curate the purchases from Amazon and then the stupid iTunes, which isn't iTunes anymore because Apple got rid of that Apple movies. I don't know what they're called. Just put them. How is them under one beautiful store of sorts? Like a beautiful library. There probably is something like that. But I can't do research because this is YouTube and it's useless to even do that. Ultra HD Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse. What are my options now? I click on that. I have to pay another $24. It's over. There's no like upgrade fee. I can't just say delete this shitty 1080p version, shove it up your a-hole and give me the beautiful crisp high definition 4K that I so desire, that I so need, that my heart is yearning for. It's aching for. No way to do it. So I'm stuck with my dick in my hand and a mediocre 1080p that I can't get rid of, unless I purchased the other one. So then what happens then? Then I have two Spider-Man's in my library that are essentially identical minus the amount of bits that are displaying perfection. No! Give me an upcharge. I'll pay five bucks even. I'll pay five bucks. Spider-Man's worth almost $30. So to own. Are you kidding me? Of course. I'm not rebinding the whole thing. No, that's ridiculous. Why are they different skews even? This is madness, I tell you. I have one more issue somewhat related to the purchase. I recently purchased John Wick 3. Well, when it came out, I guess it was months ago now. Feels like forever ago. Ultra HD, of course. It ran smooth. It looked great. I saw that beautiful killing in high definition. And then I saw they had Terminator 2 Judgment Day. Ultra HD. Had to jump on that one, baby. You know I had to jump on that. I purchased it, tried to fire it up. I get an error saying that I can't watch this movie. I can't stream it. Due to like technical difficulties, it gave me nothing to go on, though. It was like some weird code error told me to go to the support page on Amazon, which I did, which was just a bunch of bullshit. It was absolutely useless. So the movie's unwatchable. What the hell's the difference between that Ultra HD and John Wick, which is a newer film even? The specs, how are the specs any different? I don't know. I was looking forward to watching that movie. I had people over to watch it. This was months ago, not recently. I had to use my PlayStation 4. I had to use the app off of PlayStation 4 to watch it. The PlayStation 4 is an outputting 4K resolution. I don't have a pro. I was waiting for the 5. Where the hell's the 5? It doesn't have 4K resolution. So I'm watching a D-resd version of an Ultra HD movie I purchased on my 4K TV off of my PS4 onto my 4K TV, which is maybe upscaling it a little, but not enough to tickle my dick. So I have screwed myself again because Amazon has screwed me again. And I put my faith in them for some unknown reason. Fix your shit, Amazon. Give me a good library. Give me good ways to purchase your things that aren't confusing as all hell. And then maybe you'll have a better customer in me, a more satisfied customer, because as it stands, my movies are all over the place. I still buy Blu-rays. This isn't sustainable, though. Gilmore Girls' Giant Box sets. That's not sustainable. I have two seasons of Lost over there. They were $60 each. By season three, I knew I was being hoodwinked and they had no idea what they were doing with the show. But still, I have two seasons over there that this stuff could all be so beautifully categorized on the store. I've put in my time. I've put in my money to this stuff. Help me help you, Amazon. Help me be a happier customer. And I'll make sure your pockets are aligned. I know you need the money. I know you need the money. As I look at one of the chests full of movies, I thought maybe I should do a video collection thing just because I think it would be fun. Mainly because I just found all these HD DVDs that I can't watch because I don't think I have an HD DVD player anymore. Look at this, though. We got Bale Wolf, Children of Men, which is one of the greatest movies ever. Seriously, it's in my top 50 for sure. Face-off? 300. You know what? You know what? Release the Snyder Cut. There I said it. Batman v Superman's a disaster. I'd love to see an even bigger disaster. Snyder, I mean, 300? Freaking amazing film. I love that film. 12 Monkeys. It's deep. Knocked up. They don't make them like they used to, folks. Yes. Planet Earth, The Superior Edition, voiced by Zagorni Weaver. Zagorni Weaver. Peter Jackson's King Kong. It's a treasure. Inside Man. Fine. I think I was just having fun collecting HD DVDs at that point. Another Snyder film. The Dawn of the Dead remake. A fantastic remake. I love Snyder's earlier work. Is there anything more touching than Apollo 13? Tom Cruise? Tom Hanks. Tom Cruise. Okay. I think we're done here. Thanks for watching.