 The makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Si Howard, directed by Max Benoff and starring as celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed as Pasquale. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly, good-natured show that offers you relaxation and enjoyment. And you know, Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment too. It's pleasant to chew on a smooth piece of Wrigley's Spearman for the year working, shopping, listening to your radio, or doing just about anything. Wrigley's Spearman Gum tastes good, it's refreshing, and the good easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction. Now, Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mamabasco in Italy. Mommy, it's impossible to describe to you all the beautiful things that I got here in America. So I'm sending you some picture poster kinds. First one that looks like a rose holding an ice cream cone. That's the Statue of Liberty. And next you got a picture of Empire State Building in New York, which is 102 stories big. Mama mia, I would hate to live on that top of Florida. It comes on a cold day, you bang on a steam pipe, say, Janet in the basement, I don't hear you, and you could freeze it to death. Everybody's a big and a beautiful building. Now, mama mia. Next you see a picture of Adela Planetarium in Chicago, and about them it says, come in and see the stars for 50 cents. But a wonderful thing about America, mama mia, is you ain't got a 50 cents. You're going to stay outside, look up in the sky, see the stars are for nothing. So with all these poster cards, you get idea of America. Big, strong, beautiful. And I'm hoping someday I'm going to do something for America to show how much I'm in love. Well, I finish my letter later because there's a time now to go to my night to school. America, I love you. You like a papa to me. All right, class, now for all the roles. Mr. Basco, Mr. Harwick, Mr. Olson, Mr. Schultz. Peek-a-boo! All right, Mr. Basco, what got into you? Well, even I'm still a guy to my call. Schultz is a home bed with his and I can't come to school, but he's making me promise I'm going to peek-a-boo you when you call out his name. Well, stop being silly. Class, I'll have an announcement to make later, something of civic importance, but let's first get through with our spelling lesson. Now, Mr. Basco, we know a noun is singular if it signifies one, but what do we call a noun if it represents more than one of an object? It's not singular, it's... Pluricy. What? Mr. Basco, Pluricy is a disease. Well, with a penicillin, who worries? Louis, I bet you Schultz told you to be the class caught up in his place today. Now, not in peace. Smell-outs and it's all in a fun. Mr. Basco, that's not very funny. Now, Mr. Harwick, you may tell us the rule about the plurals of words ending in F or F-E. They change to D-E-S, like I have a knife, I have two knives. That's very good. I'll try you again, Mr. Basco. What is the plural of the word child? Twins. Triplets. No, no. Mr. Basco, I've never seen you acting so frivolous, any more foolishness, and I'll send you home, is that clear? Well, I'm sorry, Ms. Puddinger. I wasn't just trying to cheer up with the class while Schultz is sick. Well, stop it, it's bad enough. The plural of child is children. Mr. Puddinger, please, I have a respect to keep quiet while I'm getting the ball out. What? I've got a right to hear what Mr. Puddinger is harrowing at me for. All right, Mr. Basco, I've had enough. I've never seen such behavior from you. And substituting for Mr. Schultz's silliness is the height of presumptuousness. You may leave the room. Well, Mr. Puddinger, please, excuse me. Well, I don't... Mr. Puddinger, maybe hear that civic announcement. You promised us. You might as well listen, Mr. Basco. It may interest you. Our school is making a drive to enlist volunteers for the Civil Defense Program. How many of you would be interested in joining? Well, I mean, Ms. Puddinger, how am I going to join? What am I to do? Well, you tell people how to take care of themselves during the raid. Oh, and who's going to tell me? The city teaches you first, Mr. Basco. Ms. Puddinger, how am I going to show you I'm not to get a high presumptuous... And I'm going to join in a make-up for how bad I'm an actor. And I'm going to start writing now, Ms. Puddinger. Good. Where am I going? City Hall Civil Defense Section. Do you know where the City Hall is, Mr. Basco? I'm never going to forget the Ms. Puddinger. One hour after I'm going to come off for the boat, the past quality is I had to be in the City Hall with a Rosa and a marriage license. I understand very well, but Mr. Flanagan is busy. Sure, but I'm way too far already. If somebody is attack America and I'm going to join the Civil Defense, then I'm going to feel terrible because I'm a promised... I know, I know. You're promised your school teacher. Please ask Mr. Flanagan. The name is Flanagan. And you'd better stop acting so jittery. Mr. Flanagan... The name is Flanagan. Mr. Flanagan is very short tempered. Please, Mr. Flanagan. Look in it. Just the ones to my hand. Look a little bit. All right, I'm looking again. Mr. Flanagan, are you ready yet? The gentleman here... All right, all right. For heaven's sakes, man hasn't even got time to finish filing his nails. Show him in. Mr. Flanagan, we'll see you now, Mr. Baskoff. All right, thank you. Thank you, Mr. Lady, for looking in again. Hello? Hello, Mr. Finnegane. Finnegan? I mean, Flanagan... He's a very pretty name. Thank you. Please, I'm coming here to help out America in case somebody has to come over to attack. Well, tell me, Mr. Baskoff, were you born and bred in America? Well, I was born in Italy, but I'm into the bred in America. Do you have citizen papers? I'm going to wait two more years. You got your papers and Mr.... Mr. Flanagan... Flanagan? Maybe I better go out and come in again, Mr. Finnegane. The name is Flanagan. And for your information, Mr. Baskoff, I was born in Tallahassee. Oh! Tallahousie? Not Tallahousie, Tallahassee. Well, I see. I mean... I mean, what age are you coming to this country, Mr. Tallahassee? Mr. Baskoff, Tallahassee is in Florida. Now, let's stop wasting time and begin filling out your civil defense volunteer application form. All right, sir. Your full name? Lloyd Baskoff. Middle initial? No, that's the full name. I mean, do you have a middle initial with that name? That's impossible, because when I'm right, I'm a squeeze a Luigi and a Baskoff, so close together nothing is going to fit in the between. Just say no, Mr. Baskoff. No, Mr. Baskoff. Wise guy. No, Mr.... I dare you. Flanagan. Now, home address? 21 and not the Holy Steady Street. Home? And over 972945. And if America's ever have attack, please sit down to be bashful, Mr. Flanagan. Call me right up any time. I will, Mr. Baskoff. Thank you, Mr. Flanagan. The name is Flanagan. I mean, Flanagan. I mean, maybe you better go out then come in again. All right. All right, let's not mention names anymore. No. Now, as regards our defense, what type of work are you qualified to do? Well, if we was attack, I'm gonna too strong a fit and I can run around tell everybody. That wouldn't be of much help. Then how come Paula Revere has done it? Paula Revere had a horse. Oh. Then maybe you went there, I'm sure to buy a horse. No. No, that won't be necessary. Now, let's finish this form, shall we? Now, how much time can you devote to civil defense work? When we get attacked, that's when I'm gonna get the time. Very smart. Nevertheless, what hours and days of the week will you be available for defense duty? Well, let me see now what they got. Every morning, my alarm o'clock is a ring of six o' thirty. I'm gonna get up eight o'clock. Well, if you get up at eight, why don't you set the alarm for eight? Oh, that's no good. Then I'm gonna get up at nine thirty and that's too late. Oh, go on. Well, then I'm gonna work. I'm gonna work until six o'clock. Then I'm gonna get up until seven. The school is at nine. But after nine o'clock, it's all right to have the attack. I'll tell the arm. You're welcome. Well, that completes your form, Mr. Basko. How you said my name. Yeah, you're so idea. Then I'm civil defense worker now. Not yet, Mr. Basko. The beauty of the division has to pass first on your fitness. Oh, and who's the district chief of debt? Ah, me. Oh, are you? Then you're going to pass me, Mr. Mr. Go on. Say my name now. Don't worry, I won't. It's Mr. Flannel again. Again, Mr. Basko. Barko. Barko. Barko is a Basko. Oh, is that so? Mamma mia, I would have been better off if we were two different people. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a suggestion that will help you get more enjoyment and satisfaction out of the things you do during a busy day. From time to time, especially when the hours seem to drag, chew a stick of refreshing Wrigley's spearmint gum. That little stick of good tasting gum makes a difference in how you feel. The lively, full-bodied spearmint flavor freshens your mouth and sort of gives you a lift. The pleasant chewing breaks up the monotony, helps you go along feeling more cheerful and satisfied. Try it and see for yourself. Chew a few sticks of refreshing, delicious Wrigley's spearmint gum every day. You'll enjoy it and it'll make things go smoother and pleasanter for you. Now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basko's letter to the Wrigley family. Well, Mama and me, I had the worst day of my life. I was acting so bad when I got to Civil Defense, a place that even though I wanted to help America, they must think I'm going to start to declare the war. Anyway, I'm going to go out and buy some Civil Defense a handbook and right away I'm going to defend myself because while I was busy reading, Pasquale has come in. Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi. Hello, hello. Hello, Pascale. What are you reading there, little banana nose? Pattern for survival. Luigi, since when you took up a dress-making? No, Pascale. This is about a civil defense. It's to tell you what you should do if the atom bomb has come. As if I wouldn't know what to do without reading that book. What do you do? Like every other normal person, I would have fainted. Pascale, you're wrong. You're supposed to fall down in the front of something big, heavy thing, and I'll let that to protect you. You fall down in front of something heavy? Luigi, marry my daughter Rosa, you've got a lifetime of bombs. Pascale, maybe it's funny to you, but this book, Pattern for Survival, could save your life if you wasn't too real. Stop. I happen to be the quicker tank in a type. I would do the right thing just by using my brain. Well, Pascale, if you knew, atom bomb was going to fall in two minutes and blow up the whole street, what would you do? Sell my store, quick. Luigi, stop worrying so much about bombs. What's going to happen is going to happen. Be like me. I'm a fatalist. No, I'm not going to have to like you, Pascale, and today I'm going to try to do something to help you. What do you try to do, little cabbage pussy? No, I'm not going to tell you because you're going to laugh. No, Luigi, I'm not going to laugh. You promised me you're not going to laugh. You got my honest word. Now, what did you do? Well, I went to join the Civil Defense to help defend America. That's another nice thing you promised you wasn't going to laugh. Who's laughing? I just got a hysterical. Pascale, I would be the happiest fellow in Chicago if a Civil Defense was to accept me. What? You mean they turn you down? That's right. Goodbye, Greenhorn. Hello, Italy. That's all you true. You finish. I bet you're right this minute. The FBI is reporting to their chief, Herbert Hoover. What am I doing wrong? You acted like a stubborn maroon, that's what. Only you know only full citizens is allowed to defend America. Only full? Yes, you're only half a citizen. I don't think they'll even let you defend Rhode Island. Pascale, what did you say before about the FBI? He was only joking. No, no, Luigi, you liable to have a big catechupry. You know why? Because you're so stupid. Stupid? Yeah, you're stupid since you were in America. Everything you did was stupid with a capitalist suit. That's not the truth, Pascale. Now, remember the time you walk in a drug store, you ask for a toothbrush, and when the clerk said, how's about a doctor-westitude brush, you said, if it's belonging to the doctor, how can I use it? You might as well know the worst, Luigi. In this country, you don't volunteer for nothing until you get drafted. You know what's happening? Probably right now, Truman is a telephone in his ambassador in Italy to find out if he was a troublemaker there and your voice got through. No, no, Pascale, no, that's the kind of the truth. That's not all, Luigi. When you went to offer your services or made a pest to yourself, you violated the big American unwritten law, the TBA. TBA, what's that? Troublemaking Volunteering Aliens. Pascale, tell me quick, what am I supposed to do? Well, when they come in the question, there's one thing you can do. Swallow a can of la choy, chow mein, and tell them you can only speak to Chinese. Catch it on the telephone. Don't pick it up, or Luigi, it sounds a-marked. No, no, Pascale, I'm... Maybe... I'm a better hand. Go ahead. Hello? Mr. Vasco, this is Mr. Flanagan, Civil Defense... Who? Old Flannelgown, remember? Listen, Vasco, I've been thinking about you. I think I was a little irritable the other day. No, please, Mr. Flanagan, I... I was a double editor. Well, all right. Anyway, the reason I called is this. There is something you can do to help the country. Do you mean I'm an aftergoner to Italy? No, Vasco, we don't send Civil Defense volunteers that far. Now, if you really want to help, here's what you can do. Go out, canvass your neighborhood, and get as many volunteers as you can for Civil Defense. Do you understand? Oh, sure, sure. Mr. Flanagan, I'm happy to have had a thank you so much. Hey, by the way, Vasco, the city is having a practice air raid drill tonight. I suppose you heard about it on the radio? No, I'm blew out the tubeless tonight without the goffery. Well, good luck with your recruiting work, Vasco. Oh, and a thank you so much. Hey, Vasco, they're not going to send me away. I'm not going to help out by making the people to join up with the Civil Defense. Ah, it's a waste of time. Well, why? Why, Vasco? Wait, you know, bodies are going to join. The people today, they don't join a nut there to believe me. No, Vasco, I think you're wrong, because I'm not going to go out and I'm going to get to 50 people from this neighborhood. I got a five of bucks to say you don't get a warrant. Vasco, how are you going to talk like this? Every American is crazy for his country, and they all want to join the Civil Defense. I'm going to get to 50. A hundred. He's going to get 50, a hundred. Sounds like a one-man-a-drive-board. Hi, Mr. Pellegrino. Luigi, how you feel, huh? How do you think of business, huh? Well, it's not good, not bad. Just terrible. Mr. Pellegrino, do you mind if I'm asking you something personally? I don't bother to ask, Luigi. I'm not going to tell you. These are two frontiers, they're not mine, but everything else comes with a face. Mr. Pellegrino, I'm going to ask you something about your husband, Joe. What about Joe? You think he would want to join the Civil Defense? Civil Defense? Civil Defense is to protect America in case we get a task. And I'm wonderful, Joe, he's the one I helped out with. Luigi, if I said I were once a Joe, tell him he shouldn't be lazy, he should come and ask the Joe himself. Hello, Astra. Hi, Luigi. Take an apple off the car, I just came in, beautiful Jonathan. Oh, thank you. Astra, I'm coming to ask you something. Do you have five bucks enough? Isn't that the money, Astra? I'm coming to ask you to join the Civil Defense. Oh, yeah, I've been reading about that in the paper. Well, you could be a black warden, a first-aid warden, a plan to watch you, or maybe you could help out the police in the fire department. Sure, sure, I'll be glad to help out. It's good. If they assign a fruit warden to watch my store 12 hours a day. You mean you're not going to join Astra? Oh, it's not that I don't want to. It's just I ain't got the problem. In a night to time myself, you close up at the store. What do you do then? Well, Mrs. Ostrows is a little nuts. She thinks I ought to spend at least one hour a day with her. Oh. Well, good night, Astra. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure you won't have one of them, Jonathan's Luigi. No, I'm not going to find a Jonathan who's the one to help out. I mean everybody, I'm asking you to get to know time. Excuse me, mister, you got any time? Yeah, it's 8.30. No, no, I'm in the time but to help the Civil Defense. Oh, very sorry, I'm busy. That's what I always say, they're busy. Well, I really am. Mamma mia, they all really am. Excuse me, ladies. Yes? I'm getting volunteers for Civil Defense. Maybe you want to be black or white or something like that. Well, to be truthful. I'm busy. Mister, maybe you... Busy. You said you want a life first aid. Busy. You want a country. Busy. Hey, hey, what's that? That's the air raid, the practice air raid. Hey, the street lights went out. What are we supposed to do? Well, where do we go? I run in the doorway. Cover it up, mister. I'm going to go up and I have my glasses. What's happening here? Where's everybody running? Now, stop the pushing of people. Stop the pushing. What are we doing? It's the practice air raid. Now, everybody's going to go to Pasquale's store. Lay down on the floor. Cover it up with your face. Come on, come on. Come on, come on. Hey, Pasquale, you're running the kitchen. Turn off the gas. Electric and a water. All right, all right, Luigi. Have a go. Hey, you, put out the dead light. Okay. Come on, my man. Look, there's still more people in the street. People, get out. They'll get off in the street. Come on. Run back into Pasquale's. I'm... I'm hot in the cold. I'm running all over. Everybody all right in here? It's the electric and the water. How's about the gas, Pasquale? Turn that off. Luigi, that's going to ruin all of my meatballs. That's what I do like. I'm going to tell you. Okay. Quiet, quiet. Everybody, shut up. Quiet. That's all right. Now, down on your stomach, cover up your face with your arms. Now, I'm going to turn on the battery radio. Lock on. Make sure everybody is off the streets and make sure your airplane spotters are at their posts. That is all. Airplane... Airplane spotters. Mama mia. Mama got nobody to help me out with that. I'm better than up on the roof when I look at myself. There's a car in the back on the roof. That is so fine on airplanes. Now, what's that up there? Mama mia. It's a look like a real Zeppelin. And it's coming closer to me. It's getting closer. Luigi. How do I stand for Luigi? Don't come so close. Look, he's going to trip out of the wire. Look at that. Rosie, get up. You fell under me. Now, don't try to talk, Luigi. Doctor says you've got to lay still before broken ribs heal up. Luigi, how you feeling? Not so good, Mr. Pellegrini. Oh, it's nothing. My daughters have got to crush on them. That's all. Luigi, when my job was here, what you did last night, it went down to join the Civil Defence. That's wonderful. He's going to learn first aid with advantages. And if he gets good enough, who knows? And maybe I'm going to let him get up every night to change it to twins. Hey, look. It looks like we've got more customers. Then, then, then how is the patient? Hi, Luigi. How's it going? Oh, Luigi. Eighteen people in the neighbourhood signed up for Civil Defence work, including yours truly. Yeah, me too. I was right behind your friend Horowitz. You know, I got to figuring last night, Luigi, after that air raid drill, if nobody volunteers in the emergency comes up, we'll all be running around like a pack of wild animals. Sure. It's going to be like crossing a mission of your boulevard against the lights. Good job, somebody. Good evening, folks. Oh, Mr. Flanagan. The name is... Oh. How are you, Vasco? I'm... How are you? Come and see me. I'm... I'm going to do something wrong last night. Look, Mr. Flanagan, what Luigi did last night was very good, even though he ain't always efficient. Yeah. That's great. Well, Mr. Vasco, I've heard all about the work you did, and I've come to swear you in your new position. In the position? Hmm? Well, what am I going to be? I plan to spot it, watch it, water cat it first. What am I going to be? Mr. Vasco, you're going to be the block captain. Block captain? I mean, how wonderful. Officially, it's called the block warden. Now, if you're ready, repeat this oath of allegiance after me. I do solemnly swear... I do solemnly swear that... That I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States. That I will defend the support the Constitution of the United States. That I take this obligation freely without any mental reservations. That I take this obligation free without any mental reservations. And that I will faithfully discharge the duties upon which I am about to enter. And that I will faithfully discharge the duties upon which I am about to enter. Good. Please, wait, Mr. Flanagan. Before you finish, I've got to ask you one thing. For sure. What is it? Make Kamarosa say the same thing and pronounce them a man and a wife. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi. And they want to remind you that Wrigley's Spearmint Gum is an ideal treat to enjoy after meals. Chew a stick after your next meal and see how that lively spearmint flavor freshens your mouth. It sweetens your breath, too. And the chewing, as you know, aids your digestion. Chewing Wrigley's Spearmint Gum after meals has become a real American custom because millions of folks know that a stick of good gum tops off the meal just right. In fact, a stick of Wrigley's Spearmint tastes good any time and you can enjoy it just about anywhere. So keep a package of delicious Wrigley's Spearmint Gum handy all the time. Enjoy it after meals, between meals, whenever you want a refreshing treat. Get a few packages of Wrigley's Spearmint next time you're at the store. The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum invite you to be sure to listen next week at this same time when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mama Vasco in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Cy Howard production. Pat Burton is associate producer. The script is written by Mack Benoff and Lou Derman and directed by Mr. Benoff. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Vasco with Alan Reed as Pasquale, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Schiff as Miss Faulding, Ken Peters as Olson, Cal March as Mr. Flanagan and Sarah Burner as Mrs. Telegrino. The music is under the direction of Lud Bluskin. This is Charles Lyon. This is the CBS Radio Network.