 Why does the narcissist return to you? Why do they try to come back? After they said that they do not like all of these things about you. After they have made you feel like you could never be enough for them. Why do they still try to come back? The first thing you need to understand is that everything the narcissist does is for their own benefit or gain. They're not going to try to assist someone or be there for them unless they believe that they can get something out of it. They are self-absorbed and lack empathy. They only care about their own interests or needs. It has nothing to do with love. It has nothing to do with them caring about you. They are only trying to come back because they believe that they can get something out of it. And if they can get what they need or giving you nothing in return they will do that too. They will only love bomb you. If they feel like it's the only way they're going to get your attention and admiration. The narcissist won't always return to you. It depends on what has changed since you were last in contact with them. Have you managed to get yourself together and remove yourself from the hole that they left you in? If you haven't progressed much since they were last in contact with you this can increase the chances of them returning to you. It gives them an opportunity to be the hero. They create problems for you so that they can then give you the solution. And the solution will always be something that benefits them in some way. They never have your best interest in mind. It's always about them. But if you have managed to progress since you were last in contact with them this will often decrease the chances of them returning to you. They are not going to return to someone who has managed to progress at a point past where they were when they were with them. That's embarrassing for the narcissist because it really proves who the problem was in that situation. If everything was going wrong for you while you were with them and then suddenly you move on and do better without them that really shows that they didn't deserve you. You were greater than them and they were just holding you back. They will weigh you down so they are not going to return to someone like that. It would be humiliating for them to put themselves in that position because there is a high possibility that they are going to be rejected. But if they try to return to someone who hasn't moved on yet there is a good chance that they will take them back. Maybe they still need closure or emotional support. They need to feel validated. They need some company or affection. It's easy for the narcissist. When someone needs them more than they need them the last thing the narcissist wants is for someone to need them less than they do. That's an insult to the narcissist. It crushes their fragile ego and makes them feel worthless and insignificant. So they are going to do whatever it takes to avoid putting themselves in that position. You will never hear from them again. But if you're still down and nothing has really changed since you were last in contact with them that's the perfect target for the narcissist because it gives them an opening. It gives them a reason to come back. Whether you need closure or emotional support you need something from them so they feel more confident in that situation. They cannot survive wrong people who already have everything they need and that is why the greatest repellent against these narcissists is your self-love. Love yourself. Validate yourself. Give yourself what you seek from other people and then the narcissist won't be able to get inside your head. They won't be able to come back because they can only be around people who are missing something. People who lack self-love, confidence, ability, or experience in some areas or money. There has to be something that you need from them and that is what they prey upon. They're like predators. They sniff out something that they think you're missing and then they use that as a justification for them to return to you but as long as you're finding a way to provide that to yourself there's no reason for them to come back and that is why it is so important for you to progress and heal from narcissistic abuse because if it isn't the narcissist you were with before it's going to be someone new. When you are fresh out of a relationship with a narcissist other narcissists will pick up on this. They will notice your unhealed wounds. They will notice that you are lacking self-love, confidence or something else. They will see that as an open end to being involved with you and then the cycle starts all over again just with a different person. It's not going to end until you go within and do the work. Heal your childhood traumas. Practice self-love. That will protect you from these narcissists and it will also give you the key to meeting other like-minded people who are on the same road and have the same goals as you do people who just want to learn and grow together instead of tearing people down instead of taking advantage of them and using them for their own needs and that's what this community is about. It's about supporting each other for these difficult times. So I hope that this video has resonated with you. I hope that you can find support in the live chat and comment section from other survivors on this channel and I look forward to talking with you in another video very soon.