 Well, I had two options I had one option which was like don't talk to this kid ever again or option to not let it split us apart Which is what she would which is what she wanted after the whole situation with Jake Paul Logan Paul and Alyssa Violet Jake Paul told Shane Dawson that he only had two options. So in this video, we're gonna talk about Pride winning verse losing as well as how to cut people out of your life What is up everybody? This is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem But focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health So what I like to do I like to pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to use those as lessons to teach You how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that kind of stuff Make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell So this is one of my last videos about the Shane Dawson series inside the mind of Jake Paul And I've been doing a lot of videos about it And there's so many just good topics that I know a lot of you can benefit from when we talk about it from a mental health standpoint, so I read like pretty much all the comments like most of the comments I do my best to read and reply and all that and there's Maya, what are you doing? And there's a lot of comments just about you know Logan Paul being terrible You know Alyssa being terrible Jake being terrible all this like let's get it straight A lot of people in this series I've been a hot mess who's shamed like it's interviewing and stuff this hot mess is all around After doing all the research and hearing all the different sides of the story Hearing your guys' sides and everybody's sides what I realized was I think the idea of Choosing sides and being like oh, you're the bad guy. Oh, she's the bad guy She's the bad guy. Oh Alyssa's the bad one. Oh FaZe is the bad one or oh Jake's the bad one I think it all at the end of the day like doesn't even matter because when you look at it Everybody is kind of on the same level on all sides but What's interesting to me and why I want to make this video is I when I work with clients like I've seen a lot of people say this Like say the things that Jake said right where Jake told Shane that he only had two options One of them was to let Alyssa Violet win If he just didn't talk to Logan Paul or two it was to just you know keep you know living life with Logan Paul Well, I had two options. I had one option which was like don't talk to this kid ever again or option to Not let it split us apart Which is what she would which is what she wanted right and I chose option to and it was a lot harder of an option Because that like mentally I had to like cope with it And it's still like haunts me like to this day This is not the case because I know a lot of you think that as well So the first topic I want to talk about is pride and winning and losing Like I was just talking to Tristan about this because I was gonna make it just one video about boundaries and setting people up But like the whole winning and losing aspect of it like you guys like that is our pride That is our ego like think about how many times you have just been mentally and emotionally Distraught because of your concern over winning or losing like that. That's how I was I spent a lot of my life being just in turmoil causing my own suffering because I didn't want the other person to win How many times did I keep engaging in an argument or did I stay upset? Or did I let this person occupy space in my brain because I didn't want them to win Think about that like this is one of the reasons why Meditation and mindfulness is so so important because we do so many things in our life We act and react based on our pride and ego and a lot of times we don't even realize that we're doing it So Jake Paul what he's saying is like if I stop talking Logan, then she wins, right? But like the thing like he he's looking at these lesser-of-two evils, right? Like oh, these are both gonna suck like who cares if Alyssa Violet wins like you guys Do you know how I keep my sanity having a YouTube channel? Like you see so many youtubers out there talking about YouTube burnout You see them talking about reading the comments getting upset and everything and like I made a video the other day Like I do not lose sleep over the comment section You know why you know why because I don't care if some random person thinks they won I'm gonna give you all a lesson real quick and how I manage my mental health on social media so I am somebody who like I will state my opinion, you know and As nicely and kindly as I can sometimes I can come off a little tough love and Things like that, but here's the thing. So when I'm on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram and somebody says something You know if they comment on one of my posts or they say something that I disagree with here's my method Okay, I'm gonna teach it all to you. I leave one comment Maybe two then I back away and I never check it again. Okay, the old Chris never could have done that You want to know why because I couldn't let that person think they won I couldn't let that person think they won right and like think about how crazy that is how much time How much energy did I spend going back and forth back and forth back and forth with this person and And here's something I had to realize I didn't get this moment of clarity like how hard is it to change my mind? How hard is it to change my beliefs on something? It's really hard So it's kind of crazy for me to think that I can change your opinion on something By going back and forth with you for hours or days on end You see what I mean? So like I leave a comment like you'll see me do it in the comment section when people come up Over and sass me on something like I might just state some facts drop some logic on them or whatever And then they'll reply 50 more times and I have backed away from it. That's how I keep my sanity I do not care if that person thinks they won in their reality I'm fine with that and I really really really think a lot of you watching this can benefit from this if you're somebody who Struggles with like anger issues or you have like these types of like relationship issues Like think about how many arguments you've gotten with your significant other and you just had to do something because you didn't want them to win Did it make anything better? Typically it doesn't right like there's there's that old saying like would you rather be right or would you be rather be happy for me? I'm always always I would rather be happy, you know So I really want you to think about that and I think if Jake would have acknowledged that in his situation with Alyssa Violet and Logan like I think his mental health would have been a little bit better Because again, I don't make these videos for Jake Paul Logan Paul and Alyssa Violet. I make these for you I want you to address how these things are affecting you in your life and really think about these things So the second topic I want to talk about is like cutting people out of your life This is something that I deal with a lot So I I come from you know the industry of drug and alcohol treatment centers and for me things are very black and white Very black and white like if you are watching this and you're in recovery or your overcoming addiction Like one of my tips is you got to think of this in very black and white You got to think of this as life and death like that makes all of my decisions so much easier It's like keep this person in my life or die, right? So just to give you some context of what I mean like I I I personally had to cut my best friend out of my life I had to cut him out of my life when I got sober because He was still drinking and using drugs and if I hung out with him He would have taken me down with him and this is a guy I grew up with and I'm like like look dude I love you, but I can't hang out with you, right and like did he get upset? Did he get mad? Of course he did of course he did we've known each other forever His family is like my family, but I'll tell you what I'll tell you what three years later He came to me and asked me to take him to treatment and now my best friend has three years sober Do you know how I got the courage to do that from my mother? All right My mom when my mom first got sober her best friend in the world was still drinking her best friend that she knew for Decades was still drinking and my mom had to cut him out of her life her best friend in the world This guy was there through thick and thin right she had to cut him out of her life And when I was six months sober when I was six months sober this man who was like my uncle passed away from alcoholism And it wasn't that my mom didn't love him It's just she would have died too, but when he was in the hospital because his body was shutting down because of alcoholism She was by his bedside every single day But seeing my mom do that and setting that boundary with her best friend helped me know that I could set boundaries with other People and get them out of my life. So like I just don't buy it I don't like I have people tell me all the time like but Chris but Chris I can't cut them out of my life That's my best friend but Chris I can't cut them out of my life They're my mom they're my dad and I just sit there and I'm just like the f you can't like what do you mean you can't of course You can the problem is is that you're worried about how they're gonna feel how they're gonna think right you again You're valuing their opinion more than your own, right? You are evaluating you are putting them ahead of your own mental and emotional stability So like if I was in Jake's situation like Logan Paul like Peace out peace out like and not forever So this is a balance because I talked to you guys about black and white thinking There's balance that comes with this because people with black and white thinking cut people out of their lives Constantly so if any of you know somebody with borderline personality disorder, this is why that happened So like I'm somebody who struggles with a lot of black and white thinking and I have to find this balance So the way I find this balance is some stuff I went really in-depth on on how I forgave my alcoholic mom if you guys want to go check that video out But basically I told my mom like at a certain point I told my mom I said listen mom I love you. I love you more than anything. You're my mom. You saved my life I love you so much But right now I am not in a place where we can have a relationship and I cut her out of my life for about three Three or four months just didn't talk to her at all But then after I after I was able to heal after she was able to heal a little bit We came back together and now my mom and I have an amazing relationship But what you see with Jake Paul and Logan Paul and some of you are still having these issues is because you aren't giving each other time To heal right you're staying in it. You're staying in that cycle. So neither one of you had time to heal I don't think in this situation Logan Paul really needed time to heal But Jake definitely did but he's constantly around him constantly around him like you guys We have to set up boundaries like ask yourself these questions. Why won't you set this boundary? Why won't you cut this person out of your life at the new treatment center? I'm working at like we we were talking about interventions the other day myself and the therapist I work with and It's saddening to see how families won't set boundaries with their drug addicted or alcohol addicted loved one Because they're like, oh, but they'll get mad at me. They'll get upset. It's like, okay That's fine. Like again, we are way too worried about what other people are going to think in that situation We need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of anybody else like think about it Think about it like I'm a father if I keep toxic people in my life. I can't be the best father I can be to my son because I'm Surrounding myself with chaos and people who screw me over so like I have to set boundaries not only for me But for my son right my girlfriend if I keep toxic people in my life It's gonna occupy space in my head and I can't be a good boyfriend to her. So like boundaries are important It's not just about you and the other person. It's about the other people who are involved in your life as well Alright, so I really want you to think about that. Okay, so let's do this down in the comments below If you are somebody who has a problem with boundaries and cutting people out of your life Who should be cut out of your life whether it's family member significant other friend Like let's have a chat about it down in the comments below But let me know like what is your fear? What is your fear? All right, let's talk and let's support each other and let's set up some boundaries today All right Anyways, that's all I got for you with this video if you like this video Please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure to subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge huge Thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon You are all amazing and if you would like to help support me spread a message of hope when it comes to mental health Make sure you click the top on that patreon icon right there. All right. Thanks so much for watching Set up some boundaries today and I will see you next time