 From Hollywood, it's time now for... Johnny Dollar. It's hard to be here in devices, my lover boy. Meg McCarthy. See, it's been a long ago, now answer me that. Oh, Meg, I'd recognize that soft, dulcet voice of yours anywhere. How are you? Over. And where are you, by the way? What? Port Hopeful, huh? You just can't stay away from the sea in ships and sailing men, can you? And whose leg would you be after trying to pull now? Port Hopeful, Nevada. Nevada? What are you doing there? And why do they call it a port? Things I'll be telling you when you get here. And if you take to my advice, you won't waste no time along the way. There's trouble out here. Insurance troubles. Oh, what company? Where's they call it? The very same identical company that's ensured the life of this blessed man. What's layin' dead at my feet? Dead at your feet? Meg, you... you don't mean... You're making me implicated that I done him in. You're just an evil-minded street heart boy. Huh? Well, you was worried about me, wasn't you? Well, certainly, of course, but... Come out here. Well, it kind of depends on... Oh, and just what kind of fancy double-talkin' is that supposed to... Oh, no, you don't. What? Get your dirty first. He can have his hands up. Meg, what's the matter? Take the embrasure out of here and you... Meg! I'll grab the first plane. Sighting adventures of a man with the action-packed expense account. America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator. Yours truly, Johnny Dollar. Now act one of yours truly, Johnny Dollar. Expense account submitted by Special Investigator Johnny Dollar. The Western Life and Trust Insurance Company San Francisco office. Following is the account of expenses incurred during my investigation of the Alkaline mic matter. Expense account had a 1-375 telephone call to build Kemper at Western Life and Trust. Who talked only long enough to order me onto the first plane for the coast. Item 2-153-50. Transportation on the late evening flight to San Francisco. Item 3 the next morning. 425, cab from the airport to build Kemper's office in the Lawson building. Ever hear of Alkaline mic Murphy, Johnny? Yeah, sure, Bill. Well, at least I think so. Isn't he the kind of legendary character who found so much gold somewhere out here? Over in the Black Rock Desert in Nevada. Yeah, a place called Port Hope? That's right. The original Alkaline mic had been the skipper of a sailing ship before he got the lust for gold back in the last century. Yeah, well, what about it? Finally found it. Plenty of it. Out there in the desert near the little town of Winamaka. And? Built himself a regular palace out of rocks from the nearby mountains named at Port Hope. Settled down to spend the rest of his days enjoying his money. But then he died. Legend says it was suicide. Yeah, well, what's that got to do with you or me or the company? Alkaline mic Murphy, Jr., his son, who spent the last 40 years living there. But now he suddenly died. And how he died affects payoff on the insurance policy we're running. Oh, how much? $200,000 straight life. Ah, wee. Beneficiaries? Two nephews, one niece, and an old housekeeper all sharing equally, provided, of course, that one of them didn't help him on his way to the great beyond. And you think maybe one of them did? $50,000 a piece is a lot of money, Johnny. Which one? I'll grant you, it's only a hunch. If I were you, I'd make a pretty careful check on that housekeeper. Meg McCarthy? She's an old... Oh, yes. What do you know about this McCarthy woman? Oh, Plentyville. And you think my hunch is right? No. Why? Because if it is, I'll handle this case for nothing. But according to the police officer... What's more, I'll quit the insurance business. Item four, 1320, cab to the airport, plane fare and incidentals to Reno, Nevada. There I rented a car, that's item five, and headed north and east on Route 40. After about 165 miles of nothing but sagebrush and cactus, I pulled into the town of Winamucka. I dropped off my bags at the motel in Winamucka, then headed for the local police headquarters. I was introduced to a sergeant Otis Framley. There's no point in driving out the port, hopefully, Mr. Dollar. We've got the number one suspect right here. I picked her up last night. Fair. Meg McCarthy? Right. And you suspect her of what? Murder. She didn't poison old alkaline, Mike, I'll eat my shirt. Then you'd better decide right now if you wanted baked, boiled or fried. Where is she? In her cell. Come on. You mean you've got some reason for thinking she didn't do it? I know, Meg McCarthy. But don't you see she's the only one who's anywhere near him? Besides, look at the motive. Yeah, suppose you tell me about it. Well, she's only been out there hopeful, taking care of him, about six months. She's under the skin of the old codger enough to make him turn over a big hunk of his insurance money. And that's a fair motive, huh? Well, doesn't it? Let's go talk to Meg. Look, she's a pretty tough customer when she wants to be so... She's a pretty tough customer. And if you still need stupid income, poofstarch, like... All right, Meg, take it easy. Oh, take it easy, is it? If you blink an idiom, think you could keep a decent self-respecting lady. I said take it easy. And I say, and I... Me ever lovin' by. I make you old rascals. Sweetheart, I know you'd come to save me out of this hire of a repeat. Yeah, well, that pretty much depends on you, on what you're able to tell me about this whole thing. You bet I'll tell ya. Only... Only, Johnny. What's the matter? Sure, I'll tell ya. All I know. It'll be the honest truth, Johnny Boyd. But don't you see, the only evidence I can give is enough to hang me. Me? Oh, Johnny, I need your help. I need it back. Two of yours truly Johnny Dollar in a moment. And now, act two of yours truly Johnny Dollar, and the Alkalai Mike matter. The surgeon left Meg McCarthy and me alone, there at the jail, and went a muckin' about her. And she told me all she knew. Johnny at this plane got fed up with all the noisy, russian drunken tailors that used to come to me fancy cafe back on the east coast. So when I heard that Alkalai Mike Murphy was looking for a nice, quiet, respectable lady to be his housekeeper, out here in the peaceful, quiet desert where I took the job. You've been out here about six months? Yes, Johnny Boyd. And me and Alkalai, we just got along fine. I cooked good meals for him, and we played cribbage together in the evenings. And I got me a real bang to keep an old palace of his all-neach and tidy for him. Yeah, sure. But now Meg, I understand he named you the beneficiary of his big insurance policy. I told him I didn't want it. And besides, I have plenty of money from selling off me cafe back east. Do you know the other beneficiaries? Do I know them? Them nephews and that niece. Just hang it around, waiting for him to die these last 20 years. That's all they've been doing. Except maybe Edgar. Edgar? Edgar Murphy, the oldest nephew, the nice one. This has a fine job. Over to the bank in Lovelock. Margaret! She's a disgrace to me, fine old name. Playing around with every Tom, Dick and Henry, she can get her hands on. Looking for the one with the most money so she can snag him and live the easy life. Where is she? It's for Danny. Well, he's another no-con. When Zile is time, harassing around in Gamblin. Where are they now? At the Port Hopewell, where else? Each of them trying to chisel the others out of all the fine furniture and old silverware, lovely china. Well, when the estate gets settled, that's sneaky. All right, Meg, all right. If I'm going to try to help you, there are some things I have to know. I'll tell you everything, Johnny Boyd. How did Alkaline Mike die? Pieson, the doctor said it was. In something that he ate. And who could have given it to him? Uh... There's the trouble, darling. I was the only one with him. I was the only one who ever touched his food. Could it have been poison before it was brought into the house? No, never. Everything I bought for him and me come from the markets right here in Winnie Mookah. Besides, Johnny, I always had the same things he did. Even the day he died? Yes. Even that same fate for a morning. Well, did the doctor say what the poison was? Yes. Quenity-tenny. Quintanogen? Yes, that was a surfer or something. Quintanogen sulfonate? Yes, it turns into sub-sulfonate. Oh, that's strange. Because if I remember correctly, that's related to one of the old Indian arrow poisons. Ah, but Johnny, there ain't been no Indians around here for years. At least a wild one. Look, Meg, I want to go out to that so-called palace, Fort Hothall. But I want you with me. Well, of course. Only how can I get out of this jail? Let me worry about that. It took your help with a local attorney that sent him $500. But I managed to get Meg out of the clink as long as Sergeant Framley stayed with us. We headed out across the desert over a road that should have been traveled only by jeep. And finally, after about 60 miles of it, we came into a bare Rocky Valley. And there in the middle of it sat the palace, Fort Hothall. Only it should have been called Fort Hothall. And it's a beautiful spot, Johnny Boy. There was an atrocity, a huge rambling jumble of native stone badly cemented together. There were almost as many doors sagging on their hinges as there were windows. As though the whole place had been put together one room at a time. Windows were set in at cockeyed angles and most of them were dirty. Three fairly new cars were parked out in front. Well, the relative's dollar. I've been here ever since the old coat died like a bunch of buzzard, bullshit. Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, come on, let's go in. Yes, and see how they've messed up our lovely palace whilst I've been languishing metal to weigh in that hoot's car. Well, Sergeant, the whole alkali was murder. Where else would he get that poison? Well, how about these relatives? That's what I've been trying to tell these hair brains. All right, all right, Meg, please. These bird-tailed idioms are on here. Seems to be going the only one. Meg, shut up. Yes, dearie. You know I love you and you talk to me like that. Just like my dear departed husband, Godwin. Yes, yes, all right. Well, what about it, Sergeant? You mean his own kin? No, no, Mr. Dollar. People out here in this part of the country have too much respect for their own kin. Even when there's a lot of money involved? Yes, I even go so far as to... You mean, Sergeant, bringing that killer back here? Well, it's this way, Edgar. Yes, Sergeant, I dare you. Now, look, it's all perfectly legal, legal. This woman killed our uncle. Now, look, will you, Mr. Dollar here is an insurance investigator. Johnny Dollar? That's right. Oh, I've heard about you. Well, I haven't. I'm Margie. And believe me, Edgar, everything will be all right with him here. We'll get Johnny. Well, I'm sure it will. Well, we'll see. Do you want to come in? What do you mean, do we want to come in? You think we're going to stand out here in our seat, aren't we? Why don't you drop dead? Oh, better, Scott. All right, Meg, come on, come on. Sit down, Johnny. Here. Incidentally, where's the other nephew? Danny. I'm Danny Murphy, Dollar, and I agree with Ed. You've got no business bringing that old witch that murdered our uncle back into this house. Oh, that's all right. She had no business ever being here. Chiseled her way into his affection so she could cut in on whatever dough he'd leave. And then to make sure he'd leave it in a hurry, she knocked him off. Uh-huh. Wouldn't that same reason make all three of you want to see him out of the way? Now, just a minute. Now, just take it easy, Danny. What do you mean, take it easy? He's practically accusing us of killing Uncle I. If the shoe fits, Danny Boy. Well, are you dirty? You lay one hand on Johnny Dollar, not tear your eyes out from limb to limb. Okay, Meg. Meg. Yes, darling. Mr. Dollar's right, Danny. Margie, and you know it. You know it as well as I do. Sure, we wanted him gone. We wanted his money, that insurance. If Danny here hadn't talked him into that insurance, we wouldn't even have that to look forward to. Well, can you blame us, Johnny, for not wanting her to share it? But she will. Unless you can prove she killed your uncle. What she ever done, knowing him for only a few months, to make her deserve a share. Margie, I suspect Meg is the only one who showed your uncle any kind of care and consideration in years. Well, what did you expect of us? Mr. Dollar's right. Why kid about it? Heaven knows she deserves his money as much as any of us, whether we like it or not. The fact remains, Dollar, somebody killed our uncle. And you've all carefully made sure that he's not going to be suspect. Well, yes. Johnny. Look, I'm going to play a hunch that maybe he wasn't murdered at all. But the evidence, Dollar. What evidence, Sergeant? He was poisoned. Yeah. All right, we'll accept that. But I'm still going to play that hunch. Here's truly Johnny Dollar in a moment. Act three of yours truly Johnny Dollar and the Alkaline Mike Matter. Now look here, Dollar, we know that old Alkaline Mike was poisoned. That isn't murder, what is it? Have you ever thought of suicide, Sergeant? Suicide. Oh, of course not. This money-grabbing old bitty here did him in. Now, just a minute, Margie Murphy. Sure. Why would old Alkaline ever commit suicide? I don't know, Danny. Disappointment over you three is only relative. He paid no attention to us. Oh, this is the other way around. You paid no attention to him. He didn't want us around. Except maybe Edgar. Well, offhand, I can't say that I blame him. But he did welcome the care and whatever affection may have given him. Yes, Mr. Dollar, that's true. She was after his money, that's all. I had told him I didn't want his money. And if you don't shut up, you didn't squirm and connive and... Meg! All right, Danny Mike. Now, what are you looking so thoughtful about, Edgar? Suicide. Old Alkaline's father chose to go that way. Yeah, I know. No one understood why he had everything he wanted, money, even this so-called palace, this atrocity that he named Port Hopeful. You mean he had no more reason to take his life than your uncle? Well, that's what I mean, Sergeant. How did his father take his life? By drinking poison, an old Indian poison. Quintanogen sulfonate. Oh, no. Oh, the cup. What? The old cup that his father used. What are you talking about, Meg? Come here, Oliver. Come here in the dining room. Well, of course, Meg. Come in here where he keeps all the old silver and china and briquette brackets. Here. Now, look here in the china clout. There, you see. That cup of mug on the top shelf, darling. Is that the one his father used to drink the poison? Yes. But it's never been used since. Oh, no. No, no. That's where you're wrong. What? Oh, since preservatives. That's terrible. What is it, Meg? Get to the point. Yes, Trony, but it scares me. Well? Every night after his dinner, Alkaline got restless poor soul. It had his whiskey from one of the clay mugs on that shelf, a different mug every night. Yes, that's true. He says that never would he touch that one, the lavender one. Also what? Called it the desk cup. Only he joked about it. But then the night before he died, he talked about it again. Let me see that mug. Well, I'll get it for you. He said it was Meg and a superstitious old fool out of him. Here. He said his father drank from it and died. But that he would bring from it and live. But it's sure he weren't superstitious about it. Go to heaven and look here. And I part the drink part. What is it, dollar? What is it? The heavy deposit in the bottom of this mug. Heart is a rock. But still the poison? Yeah. The same deep purple color of Quintanogen sulfonate. After 40 years? I tried to wash it out, Johnny, before and after she used it. Oh, water wouldn't touch it. That's why I thought it was part of the clay. But the alcohol in his whiskey would. It released enough of that poison to kill it. Oh, if only I'd have known. The police took a long time over this one, but they finally reached the same conclusion I had. Accidental death. So the relatives will collect the insurance and Meg bless her heart. But I'm afraid that mere money will never take the place of a friend. Alkaline Mike. Expense account total including incidentals and fare back to Hartford. $525 even. Yours truly, Johnny Dollar.