 I always say, my pussy. Some people hate that word. I always say, you make my pussy feel so good. Don't stop fucking me like this. Blah, blah, blah. I love telling people not to stop. Even if they look like they're exhausted and breaking a sweat, you can have a stroke bitch. Keep going. You know what I mean? I tell them about how I feel like I'm gonna explode. I always say how they're making me feel amazing. Really, my dirty talk is compliments. Because I feel like if I blow your head up, I'm gonna come. You know what I mean? Because that's what I need. But also, I'm an attention whore. Well, I love that though too, because you're the expert and you make other people feel like they're the expert. That's the gift you give in the bedroom. Hi there, lovers and friends. So you're about to watch an uncut interview with myself and Weezy WTF from Horrible Decisions. Usually when I share from my podcast, I share a shortened down version, but today I'm gonna give you the full thing because it's tired. And those of you who have listened to episode 15, which is the last episode to come out on my podcast, that's called, Can We Try Something Freaky? We'll understand why it is that you're getting the level of effort that you're getting right now. And I hope it's enough for you. Well, it should be because she's a fantastic speaker and super fun and I have a really fun time with her. So enjoy. That's pretty nuts. That's the first time I've ever heard that before in my life, but you would have that and then have a beautiful story to go with it. Thank you. Very lovely. I appreciate that. Also, I'm sorry you're Aunt Past. Good people ask me. That's an important thing to not gloss over in that story. That's the most awkward thing about someone getting like a commemorative tattoo because you're like, why the fuck do you have an eagle? Oh my dad died on an eagle. Oh, shit. No, but I had to make it different. Yeah. I can't believe you're in New York. I know. First and foremost, let's talk about your t-shirt. Oh, this is a commemoration. She didn't die, but Carmen knife, Lisa slips in. She's one of my favorite sex workers and sex educators. I had her on my show like four years ago. She's a Finn Dom. She was also on my TV show, but she's just like really intense. I don't even know what a Finn Dom is. Are you fucking kidding me? I kid you not. I learned every single day. You watched Euphoria. I did watch Euphoria. How do you not know what a Finn Dom is? Okay, well, maybe I just needed the explanation. I don't have the title memorized for it. Give me your degree. Okay, well, let me start throwing some shit at you. Amidechondria, epididymis. Okay, amidechondria is a bacteria or is it the dangling thing in my throat? No, it's neither. It's part of it. Do you know what it is, Jared? I'm not into this episode. What's amidechondria? It's a part of a cell. Epidydymis is part of the penis. It's the part that, it's the coily thing, which is the sperm that's a child. So you can get it in a petri dish. You can't get epididymis in a petri dish, but amidechondria you can. Amidechondria actually has nothing to do with sex. I was just throwing a fancy word at you. You won, how about this? You won the sex ed wars and I got embarrassed. And so I threw some of the shit at you. I actually wanted to say one day, like a random thing that's wrong with me at work that wasn't really real. I feel like that's a good word. I'd be like, my amidechondria is just fucked, honestly. Yeah, and if it was, that would be a problem. So you would be accurate, that you'd be accurate. All right, so we're here to talk about something that I'm very passionate about, but you are experiencing and have been experiencing, which is being a sexual educator who has sex with new partners or is open to having sex with new partners. And so you're constantly being bombarded by people's reactions to what you do for a living and how it's gonna relate to their life personally because they might have sex with you. That to be said, do you tell people what you do for a living or do you try and delay as long as possible because you know they're gonna project so much onto you? Delay, mainly for the questions. To be quite honest, opening a studio has really helped me get rid of the fucking question of what do I do because I'm just like, I'm an entrepreneur. Or I just say, I work in podcast production. And now that I say that, which technically I do, it's like, I have a new job, I'm head of audio. But you're also a TV star. I mean, girl, I'll be for you. They, no, like there's a lot of other shit now and frankly, it's sad because, as someone who should be proud of it and not saying I'm not, it's just exhausting to like have to elaborate on. I just had a client come in, older white guy, he was, what was I gonna say? Looking to start a company, a podcast for his company, like a LinkedIn type of company. And when he asked me about my experience and how many listens I get, I knew what was coming next. And I was like, as much as he respected me before, walking in here telling me he's proud of me, he doesn't even fucking know me, which is almost blittling. Oh, wow, you did this for yourself, I'm so proud of you. It is very blittling. I don't actually like, I don't ever tell people unless I have a personal hand in their success, the proud word ever. You said, I say I'm an awe of you. Like I'm an awe of what you did. I'm an awe of your accomplishments because that's me as an audience member being an awe of the splendor of you. I wouldn't go to a stage performance and tell somebody I'm proud of them. I didn't have a damn thing to do with their performance, but awe I think is different. Yeah, that's a good point. Now I feel kind of stupid. I ran into Z-Way in LA and I was like, I am so excited for your new show. I'm so fucking proud of you, you're killing it. Okay, but excited for you is beautiful things. Maybe because you preface with that, that just says first and foremost. And then also too, because you're both black women, and then it's like, I hope so, because girl, I screamed it and she laughed. She wasn't weird about it, she was like, thank you. And I was like, I know I'm being extra, but like God damn, that shit was fired. And she laughed. But no, when he said that, it was strange, but the thing that really is my quote unquote, claim to fame is horrible decisions. Yes. But you have a poster of it right here, so that's bizarre that you just tucked that away and brought it out just for me. I didn't even notice it was there. Oh, well, you know I'm ho, I'm sure. People can smell it on me. But particularly with that, I remember thinking like, oh my God, he paid X amount of money for this consultation and now he's gonna be like, well it was a sex podcaster that taught me. You know what I mean? But I mean, shit, as we see, call her dad, he just got 60 million. Somebody would want to probably take a class from that girl to wonder how she did it. So I think it's kind of shitty, but there are moments where I do want to hide it. So to answer your question in short form, yes, I delay it. So in a business sense you want to hide it, what about in a personal sense? No, not necessarily, it depends. Sometimes I'm boasting about it. I think it just depends on the audience and who I think we'll be able to take information. Okay, so where do you commonly meet people? Like where's the number one spot that you would meet somebody? I would say really like out at clubs and or dating apps back in the day. Okay, so you met somebody at a club. I haven't been on dating app in a few years. The two of you vibed, you had a yelling conversation for three minutes, decided you wanted to exchange information. They ask you, what do you do for a living? What do you say? I work in podcasting. When did they get to know that you work in podcasting and are a sex expert? Who's a TV star? Maybe a date, like on our date. On the date. But one, like I don't like being like, I have a TV show. Like we could say I work in TV. You know what's crazy now that I'm thinking of it. You know, like when you, I don't know how you grew up, but when you don't have money, it's like you want everyone to see it. Like I remember having a pair of Louboutins that I fucking wore to the ground. And I didn't have the $900 that they cost them, dude bought them for me. And now I'm very reclusive about like, what details I want to give someone. And my friends have been boasting me up in public more. Like this really cute guy hit on me. And he said, what do you do? I said, work in podcasting. And he was like, okay. And my homegirl was like, this bitch, hey, shit. Okay, let me tell you what else she does. And I was like, ugh. Especially because podcasting is something anybody could do. I know. So that doesn't say anything to anybody. It is. It's not me saying I'm a YouTuber. That does not scratch the surface. I mean, myself and a seven year old have that in common. And I don't have anything common to seven year old. But I know it's weird because I told someone about you recently. And I described you as a sex educator, but I was like, I think that most of her like, like what's the word I'm looking for? Did I say fame? Recognition. Recognition came from YouTube. Yeah. And he goes, oh, she's a YouTuber? Yeah. And I was like, yeah, but I mean, they're good. Yeah. Because your work is serious. And just for anyone that like, anyone who watches your video can understand that. But you were the first person I'd ever seen pull out a camera like that in their home, tell me that they edit their own videos. And I remember you said to me, this will take a few months. I have a lot of stuff to do. And I was like, what do you mean? And you told me you did your own shit. Yes. And I was like, wow. Like it's very obvious to me once seeing the amount of money you've put into the equipment and into your work, that this is why you have the shit that you do. Oh, thank you. I feel the same way about you. It's very, but that's true though. But here's the thing. It's investment. I actually made a commitment to myself maybe six years ago to constantly tell people what I do for a living. And to say it, no matter if I was in an Uber, if I was in an elevator, if somebody asked if I did for a living, I would say that I talk about sex and relationships publicly. That's why I'm a public sex and relationship educator. And no matter what, I knew that every time I said that, it was a projection show. So whatever people felt about their own sex life or their own relationships, they would project onto me. If they felt confusion, they would try to make me feel confused. If they felt shame, they try to make me feel shame. Oh my God, this makes so much sense because I feel like if I met someone that told me that, I'd be like, girl, yes. Yes. You'd be so hyped for them because you're excited about that part of your life. But I realize the importance of doing that because I want to be a path paver for future generations because I think it's the weirdest thing in the world that I tell somebody that I talk about sex for a living. And they treat me as if I study the cracks in hardwood floor. Like, how did you come up with that? Like, it's how you were born. How did I come up with that? It's how everybody was born. It's what you hopefully did last night. So it's this notion that it's an obscure, odd thing to do for a living. And yet it powers so much of what we do. So for that reason, I wanted for me to say it. So the next person who says it in an Uber, the person's like, oh, I met a girl once who did the same thing. And they wouldn't be subject to the third degree in the same way that we are. Do you feel our responsibility? And honestly, it's not that I felt the responsibility more so than I think I just maybe have to work through how I feel about it because I'm still understanding how confident I feel in that space as far as like being able to say I'm a sex educator. I tell you frequently, but you're the only reason I called myself a sex educator. You told me when we were recording that video, of course what you do is that. And now I say it. But I think maybe the dialogue is sometimes. Which is fascinating because you've been a sex educator from before you did it publicly. I know, which is weird that I didn't even understand that or maybe I thought I needed a piece of paper to tell me. But that's why you know my decadre and I don't. Right. So be clear. That's not a sex word. I knew Finn down quick. You knew this. I don't know how to spell the other. No, but I think also, I don't even know how to have that dialogue yet sometimes with people in explaining it. If I know they'll be unsure opposed to the person that I may get the vibe is excited about it. I interviewed someone that worked at the Pleasure Chest which is a sex store in New York. And I said to her like, do you know can you read it on people who's gonna come in and be cool? And she said 90% of the time, yes. She's like someone walks in the way they walk in their smile or if they look interested or even if they don't need help and they look open, she's like, I can tell. And then others they look like they want me to completely leave them alone because they're so embarrassed they're in here. Yes. And I think those 10% of people much like the consultation I did, I was worried of how you would view me. But that's 10% which is the fascinating part. I think that things are changing so much. I mean, I'm older than you and I've been in this space now for 15 years which is a stupid sentence. But I started at 19, now I'm 36, right? And the change I have seen in the general public's perception around sexuality in general has shifted in ways I could never predict. You did see Harvisha, right? Yeah. When you did that show, did you feel like people were looking at you like what the fuck? Cause I feel like if you did that show today, it's like, oh yeah. I mean, I did it not long ago, I did like three, four years ago but the Steve Harvey show in truth is a lot of the reason why I'm married right now. Why? Because he was so shameful towards me for not being married. And I experienced that from so many different levels and different people and it just became a thing for me where it's kind of like the piece of paper thing of people constantly asking you to validate why you're here. I think that's because as a young presenting woman of color in general, people are not accustomed to seeing me as an authority. And so seeing me as an authority in a topic that they feel insecure about or they feel unsure about makes them immediately very uncomfortable. So then it becomes a constant tear down show. So I just have, my entire career has been me assessing what are the most common themes of ways that people are trying to tear me down and let me fill in the gaps, which is why I'm back in school right now to get my degree. It's like you gotta know your, I remember when we did the breakfast club, Mandy and I, you know, everyone knows we get into our little thing maybe the word frenemy has been used, but she said to me like, I don't want them to talk about how we don't get along. Like, I don't think this is a good look for us. Yeah. And I was like, and if they do, like I have an answer, let me handle it. Now, Charlemagne never did that because he loves us. That's the truth. He could have went way harder. But I mean, my answer to that immediate would be like, hey, y'all fight all the time. We saw Ange unfollow you. Like people work at it. You know, they work together every day. This is more than a marriage sometimes. We share bank accounts, livelihood and personal time, like all of it. Not only is our work like just typing up, you know, episode pages, we have to connect and have chemistry for it to be good. And I think that like answering that question is easy. And so now what I've done is anything I think someone can use to weaponize against me. Yeah. I just take care of it my own. I've like figured out what my response is. Yes. And sometimes figuring that response means filling the gaps for yourself because you know that people are going to test and try you. People are not comfortable listening to you as an expert. In my experience as a dator, people were not comfortable acknowledging me as an expert. Even, and I always get asked that question, like as a sex expert, do men find you intimidating? And I was like, absolutely. But I would never have sex with those men. I could tell right away if I said to somebody, oh, I talk about sex for a living and they'd be like, where'd you go to school? What's your title? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they'd be like, well, so what makes you so good in bed? Like, okay, I see what's going on here. This is a dick show. And I'm not comfortable because I don't, I don't want to. One shit is annoying. Oh, it's very annoying. Someone I slept with recently said that to me and it pissed me off. We'd been fucking for months and he's like really well endowed. And he made a joke when like, I was like, ugh, or like made a noise. Like, okay, Ms. Horrible Decisions. Oh, so annoying. All of that was so fucking pissed. Like, oh great. Now I can't take dick in our host's sex show. Yeah. But like, it's huge. Like I'm sure the biggest pussy in the world would still be like, that's a lot. So fuck you. Great compliment to him. But it's things like that, right? Now granted, I laughed it off and it's not that big of a deal but it's those moments where someone meets you and they do say that. I've already been sleeping with this person. I feel like we had the, what's the word? Report to do that. But when people have said things to me about wondering if my sex will be good or be like assured that it'll be good because of what I do, that makes me feel like shit. You know what's fascinating? Think about it. I just had this epiphany when women talk about their sexual experiences, they talk about the performance of the men. When men talk about their sexual experiences, they talk about if they killed it. Oh, like I killed that shit or I made it orgasm 17 times. Like it's an eye focused thing where women be like, he was amazing in bed. He was so fantastic. So I think that the notion for you as a woman who's great in bed, which I imagine you to be, and you are. Would you, are you comfortable saying that? Yeah, yeah. I don't want to like toot my arm but fucking beat, beat. Like would a man afterwards, you know, if a friend asked how was the sex, would he say, oh my God, she fucking crushed it. She killed it. I had to literally remove a section of my last podcast with a friend of mine, a mutual friend between Mandy and I, I slept with his friend and he goes, Weezy, I heard you a demon. And as excited as I was and as much as I like was loving to hear that, which did I go ham a little bit because I knew he would tell my friend? Probably. However, I had to take it out because I was like, you know what? This makes it sound like I almost led him to that question. Like I'm begging for someone to tell me how good I am in bed on my fucking show. So I took it out. That's probably again, I don't know that you have something to get over with that. I think you have like a minimization complex. Really? Yeah, that's, I mean, there's two proofs in the pudding for us. You minimize what you do for a living and you minimize your performance in bed because you don't want to feel like you're boastful but it's not, it's just the facts. That's it though. That's probably why I want them to have a sex podcast. Like let me let you think I just was born to suck dick like this. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Not like, oh, it's tried and true from horrible decisions. Well, let me take this and put it into like a microstate because even if you're not a sex expert and you don't publicly do this for a living, there are a lot of women in particular who have put the time in working. If I go to classes to learn, it's 90% women who are in those classes who are like, I want to become a better lover. Oh yeah. In general, if you go to a pleasure chest, the majority of the people who go to their shop are probably going to be women. This is an area that a lot of women have said I want to get better at and I am comfortable investing my time and my dollar in that process. I would still go to a class like that. Would you? 100%, I still go. I love shit like that. Yeah, I'm in classes all the time. I mean, I learned from you all the time. So I'm always learning. People ask me that like, how does it get boring to talk about what I talk about for a living? I'm like, you can't because I learned something new every day. People always ask me about run out. How do you not run out of episodes? I'm like, cause I can do 10, three some episodes and they're all different. I could talk to somebody in the elevator and learn a word I'd never heard of before and then do a whole entire episode about it. I could do one about fin doms. Didn't know. I'm not sure if I'm saying that. I knew, but I didn't know. I don't know what's the fin even short for. It actually made me think just now I told someone I'm having you and Jared on and they were like, well, didn't you already have Shane on your podcast? Yeah. I was like, yeah, now she has a baby and now her husband's here. Like, now they can talk together. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, why would it not be different? Like, I do a show with Mandy five years. They don't never say, damn y'all sitting together again. Like there's different shit to say. And I think that like when you don't maybe even work in the realm of sex or you're not as open to talking about it, you do think it's like right here. This is all you have to talk about with sex. Oh my gosh. It's just in this bubble. It's like I said, if I can learn something new every day, somebody who has had this conversation five times in their life or for two weeks in high school during sex ed, there's a lot of gaps you can fill in for yourself. What's the newest thing you've learned about sex that surprised you recently? Oh, the newest thing. Even if it's like within the year and you were like, oh my goodness. Okay. Actually, something I didn't know that men use shower heads to masturbate the same way that women do. Really? They use the jet stream on their penis. And then I just found that out. I was doing a casual conversation with somebody and then they were like, yeah, well I masturbated a lot with the shower head. And I was like, oh, I didn't know that. They use the jet stream function. And then I watched Dave and then he did that in the episode. And I was like, Oh, I haven't watched season two yet. Yeah. Did you know that? No. Yeah. I didn't realize that they get the pulsating sensation. But you know what's interesting too, because when we think about trans women who get bottom surgery, right? They get the penis head gets transformed into the clitoris head. And you can still orgasm from them. And so you can effectively treat the head of the penis like a clitoris. You can still lick it and you can engage it in the same way. So it makes sense that you can use the same technique to orgasm that somebody with a clitoris. I gotta watch a video of this. I'm trying to think. I'd say the most recent thing I learned was probably about men being hardwired, which if anyone hasn't heard that term, it's that they like their nipples played with. And I'm not saying I didn't understand that men like their nipples played with, but this was the first time where I really seen it like, oh my God, like someone was like going crazy for it. And it was exciting. I did have a guy that I fucked once that was so into his nipples being played with older dude, sugar daddy. And I'll never forget my friends called him SNF, sick nipple fuck. We were having sex and I wanted to turn around and get a doggie and he was like, oh no, there's no stimulation for me there. And he literally couldn't come if I wasn't holding them. Oh wow. Now with this other guy, the one who's super well endowed, like he didn't really want to ask for it. But once it happened, it's just like the sensitivity all around his chest was so high end. And he got harder, just like literally like pulsating just from that. And I was like, holy shit, I feel like I found the holy grail. You know statistically it's equivalent to the amount of people with a penis, amount of people with vulvas who will experience one, a nipple gasm or two will enjoy it. Cause I don't necessarily enjoy nipple play that much. But- What's the percentage? Cause I do. I think it's a higher for people with vulvas, but I think it's more so because of the fact that they get it all the time. So more of aware of it. But I know it's 50, 50 in terms of who might be able to orgasm from it. But I think that the statistics of who would identify as liking it is like 70, 30. But as a loose example, J-nose is coming. Jared's a nipple guy. I'm not a nipple person. So in our relationship, it's already flipped. Oh my God, look at the world and statistics. Look at the world. Okay, let me finish with what I thought in this. So the point I was making is that there's a lot of regular people who are becoming more educated and empowered in this space who are afraid to bring their knowledge into the bedroom because their partner might be intimidated by it. That's very true. Think about when someone doesn't wanna bring their A-game in the beginning. Yes. So what would you say to people like that? In terms of your own journey and your experience as a public sex educator, who people already make assumptions about you? Well, to be honest, it's funny because like as much as I quote unquote hide it in the beginning, I think that for me, one thing that I do like doing is putting my best foot forward with sex because I really like to please. And I think that it's just a better experience all around if you do put your best effort in. You know what I mean? I feel like so many times we have such a shitty first experience. So I don't know why, if all of us know first times can be awkward and weird, why we wouldn't wanna help that out and not even help it out but like counteract it just by being better in bed. And I don't think it's at all a problem to bring your quote unquote A-game. Like a lot of people always talk about how you can suck dick too well in the first try. Like, why not? You may not suck his dick too well. Like I know men that love hands, men that don't, you know what I mean? Balls, some not. Some with nibbling. Like you may not be the best at giving him head. Like everybody's penis involved is different, right? So who knows? But I do think that putting an effort in sex makes you a better lover already. Like I had a super awkward experience with someone where I was throwing up, I went home with him, throwing up so wasted, but I knew I wanted to fuck him but I didn't know how wasted I was until I got back to the house. And it wasn't the house, it was my hotel room, I was in LA. And I remember he was like, are you okay? And he was chill. I was like, yeah, I was like, look, I know this is awful but I'm gonna feel better in like two hours. So let's just chill. We're gonna get something to eat. I'm gonna be done with this shit. Let me have a shower and we gonna go in. And he laughed. We chilled, he fell asleep, I fell asleep, got up, fucked the shit out of him. And I was like, you know what? That's a story. He's gonna tell his friends. Probably a few hours before it. Damn, I took this bitch home, she's throwing up. But like, why not? Like I don't get, I don't know. I don't get why I guess like things have to ruin it. Like me worrying about it being the first time or you being a little too wasted or having an embarrassing moment. Like I think we should always be going ham. Do you think it also helps to inform? Cause you just said in a totally before that you had brought a sex toy to a partner and they were like, I'm not comfortable with this. But because of the fact that you brought your comfortability and you brought what makes you feel good and you brought that pleasure to the person and they've rejected it, did that actually help you to say, oh, I guess we're not sexually compatible. So is there ever a reason not to say this is who I am, this is what I like? I mean, we have amazing sex, which was what really sucked about that. It was a remote control vibrator. We were at dinner, maybe it was too much. I thought it was funny. I mean, everybody like, I always think it's a gag when someone has their remote and like you're squirming and like I thought he would enjoy it, especially considering like he's watched me use toys. So I was just really floored, but I don't know. Like I've been questioning that a lot too. Like, does this mean I'm not sexually compatible with this person? I'm missing that one thing, but the sex is great. So many, like I can count on one hand the most amazing mind blowing sex partners I've had. I can, like I can, there's a lot of motherfuckers I forgot. In that moment, did you experience any shame life? Oh my God, I was so embarrassed Shane. So embarrassed. To the point where when I came back from the bathroom, he was like, why are you running from this conversation? And I was like, dude, I just pulled out a fucking vibrator for an egg that's in my pussy. And you were like, I'm gonna stick to scallops. Yeah. Fuck. I was so embarrassed. And yeah, it was awkward. It led into like a lot larger of a conversation into him feeling like he wasn't enough for me sexually, which I never felt like he wasn't. So I don't know. I'm actually really pleased that he did that. Cause that's a completely fair. You know what I was into people? He's a great communicator. There's nothing wrong with in the moment being like this is too much for me at this present time. Because at the end of the day, there's so many things that I had to read about. I had to watch videos about before I thought to incorporate it into my own sex life. So sometimes when we bombard somebody in that exact instant with something they never even heard of before in that moment, their immediate response is to reject it. That's okay. But if they can say not like, you're a slut, you're dirty, cause that's the other projection. I feel uncomfortable and weird. And as a result of me feeling inadequate, I'm gonna make you feel weird about it. I agree with you there. I didn't like, I was embarrassed, but his response was very mature. Very mature. I think that like, definitely he shouldn't have done it if he didn't want to. Yes. And I'm not gonna lie to you. And like, I don't really feel like I brought it out of the craziest time. It was like the check was coming and we were about to go fuck anyway. Well, I think though, to that point about like- And we were a little tipsy. Does this inform me whether or not this is a compatible partner for me? I think the fact that he was able to admit his own insecurities rather than project that onto you says this is a compatible partner. So I think if you're somebody who you're comfortable in the bedroom and then you try something with a partner and they reject you, but that rejection comes off as a weird minimization of you, that's when to me, you're like, you know what, now I know that you, Misha, don't have a sex. I honestly, you're right. Like when he said it to me, I felt like, okay, this is great. But I think for him, then he was like, oh shit, like she's gonna feel like she can't tell me about this or she can't do it. You know, and that was really what hurt my feelings because I was like, now it's on his mind. Yeah. So it sucks because this is someone I want to keep fucking and now I feel like I ruined it. You should. I don't think I ruined it at all. I ruined it. You didn't ruin it. I pulled out a fucking vibrator. And basically it was in me for three hours, Shan. I didn't, he was stressed about work. So I was like, you know what? I'm not gonna bring it up. And once he finally got loose, then I'm bringing it out. And you're like, oh. But I think that he just said not right now, not me. I didn't have to go take it out. You didn't have to. You could have kept it in. You could have just pressed play on your own. Oh, relax yourself. This is why I took it out. This is even funnier. I wanted to pay for the drinks or something. So I went in my purse and I hit the remote and my fucking pussy started vibing. Oh, amazing. And I was like, oh, great. Oh, this is why we got into a conversation. I was like, I set it off on my own. I guess I'll go fix it. And then went to the bathroom and he was like, oh, this bitch is mad. Yeah. Oh, so embarrassing. Oh, that was my top five. No, like, I don't know if I have five. I'm not embarrassed too often, but that was up there. I didn't even tell anyone yet. Oh, wow. I think I did the same thing too. I don't think it went well. I think I had, but I don't think I liked it. I don't like those vibrators. I find that if things aren't very specific, if it's just like vibrating the general areas on doing anything for me, but I think I gave somebody remote control. That makes sense. And it didn't work well. That to be said, so you also have sex with women. Is there a difference in the way that women respond to your expertise versus how men respond to your expertise? Women think I'm saving the world. I mean, like girls are literally like, I could be like, my podcast is about second dick and ho shit, and they're like, yeah, and we need to normalize it. Yes. You know what I mean? Men would be like, well, when are you gonna stop? Like, grow out of it. Like, I mean, women are just so respectful of, for one, I think it's because as women, we probably all have an uncomfortable moment about our sexuality, where men are taught to be proud and showy about it, and girls are like, should you? I think one of the most memorable moments I had, I was at the cubby hole, which is a lesbian bar in New York. And this girl came up to me, said she knew me from horrible. So girl I was flirting with was like, what's that? And I was like, what's my podcast? It's a sex podcast. And she was like, wow, I work on fucking Wall Street. I'm embarrassed now. That's what she said. What? Because she said her job was boring. Oh, okay, fair enough. And I was laughing about it. And she was like, no, like this is dumb as fuck. You tell me, I've been talking the whole time. And I was like, wow, like you think when you're younger, like New York and Wall Street, that must be like the dream job. And this girl looked at me, like I was the fucking holy grail. Yes. And I really appreciated that. And that was one of those aha moments of like, okay, I am doing something good. That was a while ago too, but I remember she was like, what the fuck? Why was I even talking? And I don't think men could do that. There's no way a man could do that. What's the best reaction a man's ever given you before is what you do. Has you ever had sex? I want to hear from both, but have you ever had sex with somebody? And afterwards they said, you are phenomenal. You know what you're doing. Yes. Both times. Yeah. I'm sorry. So you're right. Like for sure. The one that I remember, actually it was the guy that I'm talking about. And he said my first name, I was going down on him. He said, okay, Gila, like, okay. And we've been friends for years. And I was like loving it. It was like, I'm making me like gag more. But I thought that was great. And I remember with a woman after we were done, she says, I take it back. And I was like, what? And she was like, well, technically you didn't know. But I was in my group chat, always saying you're a fake lesbian. Yeah. And I think with women too, like even the L word, it was almost made like someone said to me once, she's like, when I was younger watching it, I was like, huh, am I doing something wrong? Cause I don't have sex like that. Like lesbian sex can be different, right? And there is definitely a sex I've had with women that don't fuck women often where I'm like, okay, I can tell. Like I had a girl like do this really weird doggie style thing with me, with her pelvic bone. And I'm like, why don't you watch this? Yeah. Heteroporn? But no, I mean, I've definitely had compliments from it and it was great and had compliments and they'll make jokes about my show. But with women, yeah, all around, they're definitely better about it. We have, now I have female employees, right? And even I've noticed when there's a male engineer doing my podcast or a girl, like there's even moments where I'll get more comfortable and the guys that work here are great. And I've known them for years, but there's this moment where like I start talking about maybe just something going on. Let's just say it could be BV. And if there's a girl sitting there, I'll probably talk more. Fuck the quarter million people that could hear it. Just knowing that we're only women in the room, I know that she'll understand what I'm saying. And a guy might be like, you know, we, you know what I mean? Yes, yes. It's a weird thing of like camaraderie with sex with women. So best reaction I've ever had, I would say, from a guy. I'm trying to think actually the best reactions I have are always men that work, quote unquote, industry or entertainment because they understand the wildest clips they'll see of me are even though the story could be true are performative and they understand that this is work and me talking about my sexuality isn't a bad thing and that I make money this way. Whereas I've noticed with quote unquote regular guys, not that, you know, one is worse than the other. They can both make the same amount of money. I'm not B Simone here, but I couldn't believe she's on that. But anyway, they will more so want privacy or kind of not even shame me for what I do more than the world knows. Do you often feel like you come into scenarios where you know more than the other person does? Yeah. And does that reflect in the sexual experience in terms of power play? No, I'm super submissive. I don't mind if someone doesn't know quote unquote, bindom or whatever. Like, I love being able to teach people about those things. I think it's fun, especially having conversations. I remember recently with a guy, he was like, have you ever had a cold thing? And I was like, of course. And he was like, oh my God, tell me have you interviewed somebody about it? He was genuinely intrigued. Those kinds of things are fun when I know more. But I haven't really had an inexperienced partner in a while. I'll say that. I've just been lucky. On the most granular level possible, a lot of women are uncomfortable. Make it in my phone for you, love. Oh, can you mark this minute? You have me? It's just so she knows. I think it should just come up. I think it should just come up. Yeah. Like one piece. I think you're gonna have four or not one piece. Oh, she, oh, look at that. I'll get a credit card. Yeah. See how women are? Do you know how pleasurable that's going to be to take off? I know. I love those like videos of, what's it called? Like the satisfying things and you're what? Not ASMR, what? There's a word. ASMR is the sound. It's like you can watch like maybe gel being pulled apart together like paint. Oh, I don't know what those are called. Like a pimple popping video. Yeah. But not as pimply. Okay. So on a more granular, bitch, okay. On a more granular level, a lot of women are uncomfortable directing their partner in the bedroom, telling them what they like. As if it's embarrassing to say I know how my body works. What advice do you have for them? I think that we all laugh about fake orgasms and how we shouldn't be having them, but you have to actually be the one to execute that. Like I've definitely in the past have faked it just so it could be over, but then we're part of the problem. Cause then they think their dick is fucking amazing. You know, if you're, if you're fucking people with penises, but I think that the way to do it is you've got to do it instructional, like in the act. Like I don't actually think, and some can disagree and I don't know how you would go about it, but I don't think it's good to talk over dinner. I think it's better when you're going down on me to tell you what I like, because then I can say it in a mony way and like give you a bunch of praise when it feels really good. Yeah, I don't know, or via text message in a sexting way. For example, men that maybe want their women to use less teeth, either sign a sexy video or tell them that you want them to wrap their lips around, like to make them really tight. I don't know, but you know what I'm saying. Yes. I think if you make it in a sexting way, it's okay. Yeah, a lot of people think about talking about. Like erotica. They got to say what they don't like. Like I got to let you know what you're doing that's wrong versus here's what you're doing that's right. Like if you're too slow, you've got to be like, yo, I love it when you're fast. I love it when your tongue is flickering really quick. Like just, that's it. Yeah. Even if they never did this shit. Right. It's inception. Did I do it? Yo, I know about this because I had someone tell me they loved when I licked their balls and I've never licked their balls. And I was like, is he confusing me with someone? And I was like, oh, he's just telling me. He listens to horrible decisions. He's taking tips on how to communicate that. Yes, sir. But that's the thing. A lot of people feel uncomfortable saying what they like because they don't want to intimidate their partner with the fact that they know more that they're an expert in this area. Yeah. But everybody, that's I always say to people, everybody should feel empowered to call themselves a sex expert, especially if you know how to have sex with yourself. What makes them want to sex expert? I mean, you're a public sex expert. That's very different. You have information that you can share with others. But if I know my body inside and out in a way that nobody else does, I'm an expert on my body and how to have sex with this body. And so I have information for you that could drastically change your performance with me, which matters if you want to have sex with me. Yeah. So I think an expert is somebody who's got information that is pertinent to the other person's happiness or wellbeing. And if you want to fuck somebody, knowing how to have sex with them is pertinent to those two things. Well, how do you feel about, and would you encourage people? Because generally, I don't like to speak about sex before we have sex. And my co-host and I, we always go back and forth in the shit. And she's like, I'm talking about sex out the gate in the text messages, seeing what they like. I would prefer to do that after I've already had sex with them. Sometimes I don't like to be too presumptuous. I mean, like, how do you like your dick sucked, even though it's never been in my mouth? Yeah. I'm a big fan of talking about it before, but it's a style thing. I mean, communication in the day, like some people prefer to argue over text. It's just, they're an easier way for them to get their emotions out without getting triggered or getting too crying in the moment. So you get to choose what style works best for you. As long as you're not, you know, hard and fast, because if somebody else wants to bring it up over dinner, because that's their comfort level, if you can play on their level, but then also bring them into your world, I think that's what makes it hard and fast. Can't be hard and fast, you know what I'm saying? They're flexible with it. So I, I don't know, but I love the advice that you gave that it can be done in the moment. And that's a big thing too, because talking about sex should mirror what good sex is. It should be fun. It should be wet. It should be, and inviting. It should be hot. It should be part of the story that you share. It's a great way to do dirty talk too, if you're like scared of dirty talk. Like, I think someone wrote, this was years ago. She was like, I don't know what to say. I sound crazy. And her name was Maria something. I was like, girl, it looked like you speak Spanish. So do a little bit of that. And then just tell them what you want. And like translate, fuck it. Like dirty talk is so easy for me. Can you do a live tutorial right now, how to own your expertise in the bedroom by telling your partner exactly what you want? So for you, what would it sound like? A live tutorial? Yeah. Okay. I don't have an only fans yet girl, but I'm gonna get one when I fall off though. Okay. There's gonna be a moment where it's like, you know what it shouldn't be what it used to be. And then first is gonna start with toes. And then I'm gonna get to pussy. All right, live tutorial, let me think. Let's give me an example. What are they doing wrong? They're not doing anything wrong, but you wanna make sure everything goes very right. Or maybe they're doing, I don't know what you like, so I don't know what's wrong for you. Okay, fair. I can't do it in the Mony Boys cause it makes me get, I'm not a good actress. But for one, if they're doing something completely right, I'd start talking, I always say my pussy. Some people hate that word. I always say, you make my pussy feel so good. Don't stop fucking me like this, blah, blah, blah. I love telling people not to stop. Even if they look like they're exhausted and breaking a sweat, you can have a stroke bitch. Keep going, you know what I mean? I tell them about how I feel like I'm gonna explode. I always say how they're making me feel amazing. Really, my dirty talk is compliments. Because I feel like if I blow your head up, I'm gonna come. Yeah. You know what I mean? Cause that's what I need. But also I'm an attention whore. Well, I love that though too, because you're the expert and you make other people feel like they're the expert. That's the gift you give in the bedroom. That's a good point. I have a new dog. I've been talking to her like this the whole time. And like, I wanna know where this is going. She's been fucking up a little bit. But like, was she even doing good? Oh my God, Nina's made a good pee pee. Nina's the best pee pee girl. Keep pee pee, Nina. Oh my God, it's crazy. And she could have just took a shit on the floor. And I'm like, Nina is the best pee pee girl ever. Like it's so weird. Do you know what's actually funny? Now think about it. That's the thing that I do because I always say to people, my goal is to make everybody an expert in their own sex life. But I think that's also me deflecting off of the awkwardness because I know people are judging my right to be an expert. So by sharing it with them, it now becomes a thing they don't have to attack me for because we have it in common. Do you think people judge you because you're hot? Like, do you think that we, I don't know, I think of Dr. Ruth all the time. And like, how just doctors or people in a medical profession or anyone that's just a health expert, I'm kind of like, what do you know? Yeah. Well, once she's a doctor, so that there's a difference in terms of like the respect you automatically get to, she's a white woman. So a different respect that she automatically gets. And she's older. And so we're accustomed to seeing experts look like that. I know like a friend of mine, he's an older white bald male psychologist. And he said that his superpowers, no matter where he goes, people think that he's works there or he owns the building. He could be at Trader Joe's, he could be at his studio, but his presence just looks like I'm in charge here. Where my presence just looks like, where's the bathroom? So people have a hard time when they see me behind the desk. And because I feel uncomfortable with that, I think I tried to share that with them to be like, no, you're behind the desk. I'm having deja vu. A blonde friend of mine, like literally she self-proclaimed dumbest girl ever. Valley voice, like everything. When we were moving into this building, it wasn't a landlord, they're chill, someone else, the moving company. I was signing off on furniture from CB2. And he handed it to her and she was like, why are you giving this to me? And he was like, you did the order, right? And she was like, no, this is hers. And he says, but I need the person who owns it and who paid for the order to sign it. And I was still looking at him and I was like, well, didn't you guys call me to be here? Yeah. But okay, like, and I never think about how you can really live in that skin of you look like you own this shit. Yes. But you know what? I make an effort all the time now. And I know we get so off track as you and I talk forever. But when I'm in first class, when I'm coming to work, I don't do none of this bullshit no more with feeling like I have to completely dress up. I'm gonna put on whatever the fuck I want. There's the shirt I'm wearing right now. Technically. With your bra. To my office. Right. Is a woman sitting on a pizza, sitting on a man's face, letting him eat her out with her tits out. And she has an afro. And I just feel like, yeah, it is what it is. Like I love like not looking the part cause it almost like makes me feel better. But you look the part for what you do. Do you think so? Yes, I think so. Everybody here thinks so. What if it wasn't the sex podcast? Like working in a studio, working in production. I mean, I would be like good for you. Like you're a sex positive. I mean, that's not abnormal, but the fact that you talk about sex for a living and you're wearing this shirt with no bra, that's also white and this is a place that you own. Oh, I thought you were saying wearing over all this white girl's shit just now. That's also white. That is not WPS. No, with a white shirt. So I can see what color your nipples are. I'm just saying that in general it all works. And I think this is the perfect way to end the podcast. It is. We're done. All right, as an add in, what is the thing that forever do the I'm wheezy and you can find me add thing? Oh. Camera? I don't know when this is gonna come out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm wheezy. You can find me at wheezy WTF. If you want to see me in person, come to the studio. WTF media studios 265 Canal Street. Stock me at my podcast, Horrible Decisions or watch my TV show on fuse. Sex sells. Shan should have been on there. You'll be on there for a season two. Thank you. You were pregnant. You got season two? I will bitch. Congratulations. Good job, thank you. Thank you for watching. If you enjoyed that longer clip, you might also enjoy the 50 minute episode that accompanies this interview. So go and find lovers and friends with shampoo drum wherever you get podcasts, find episode 15. Can we try something freaky? And I hope you enjoy it.