 Here in London. We're going to Westminster Abbey. That's Parliament and I was reading a book because it's 2017 about well, I was thinking on New Year's resolutions and then I thought of the subject of love because for the New Year's a Lot of people get lonely. I think the most suicides the most breakups are all in December So now we're coming into the New Year. I was here in London for New Year's That's big Ben over there Westminster Abbey. That's the church where all the Kings and the Queens I think we can cross right here Kings and Queens are crowned anyway, so I'm reading this book by or today's book of the day Richard Sternberg So he's a professor. I think he was at Yale now He's at Cornell or something and he came up with this theory. That's really fascinating called love triangle theory so if you want to know why relationships A lot of times in the modern world fall apart why 50 plus percentage of divorces marriages end in divorce this book tries to explain it and I thought it was interesting. So triangle theory. He came up with at the beginning of his career, which is Was that it right there? Elizabeth is from Norway. She's half American Dana, are you having fun? Rome cold man. I'm just cold Rome's freezing anyway Triangle theory Says there's intimacy passion and commitment and he has a whole system of consummate love companionative love factuous love, but then years later in his career. He realized Or he thought there's a more complete theory His first theory he think he thought wasn't Didn't explain it all and he came up with this theory called love as a story and he said there's 26 main stories that people subconsciously Act out. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy so they're things like Horror story war story garden story travel story There's one called the police story government story each one's a metaphor for how people act and I can some of this whole book The reason people get divorced the reason People break up Especially in the modern world where you have more choice is that never date somebody who doesn't have the same Subconscious story as you that's the number one predictor of Failure in a relationship then this I think this applies to business too When you got different stories because there's for example the fantasy story so some people think That love is a fantasy like Cinderella story. You were actually just talking about this And then there's other people that have what's called the garden theory, which they think you have to cultivate love So somebody with a fantasy story is dating somebody with a garden Story they won't get along because the fantasy story person will be like why isn't everything perfect? And the garden story is going well. We got to work on it. And so they'll end up Over time basically naturally Separating or naturally feeling it what happens He says going back to triangle theory is intimacy drops because people don't feel connected So you really have to find he actually has on his I'll put a link below He has a link to a questionnaire. You can try to ask Answer these questions and figure out which of the 26 stories you have I was trying to do mine There's one called the art story where you see love as art. There's one called the collector I thought that was interesting Where sometimes people Date people just because they they fit like checkboxes. They don't really like them But they're they got the right job or they have the right look But there's not really that connection, you know, so you should take that test. I'll put the link It's on Richard J. Sternberg's blog you answer actually it's inside on psychology today and you answer 20 questions or whatever and you try to figure out which of those Stories are yours I think and in one thing it's interesting. Most people have more than one story you get them from childhood Usually you act out the story that for example the horror story is Why women's part of why women's staying relationships that have domestic violence because their story is that's what love is like So they stay in that cycle of somebody, you know hitting them or beating them up Because that's their conception of love and so obviously it's not healthy And he talks a little bit in the book on how you can try to change your love story if you've got the wrong love story Here's Westminster Abbey. Here we go. It's kind of cool. That's a cool church, right? You can actually go to church here Here let's go inside. Oh, no, this is St. Margaret's No, this is the church. This is part of it Here we go Got history here. This thing was built. What year? She's got English major yeah English history major All these people what percentage of people have healthy relationships this books I Think statistically it's only about one in five Relationships maybe 20% that are actually thriving, you know It's kind of cool, isn't it? People got married in there. I wonder what percentage of them were happy marriages Anyway, what do you think your love story take the quiz and then come back and leave a comment? I think mine's a combination There's one called the teacher-student one. There's different classifications. There's there's like What did he call it? Can't remember right now. It's a fairly complex system, but I broke it down relatively simply for you. There's there's Asymmetrical that's what I was gonna say So that's like a student teacher where one person takes on the role of teaching the other person There's the victim one or addiction one Look at that Anyway, leave a comment. I thought it was interesting. I hope you're 2017 You have a amazing new year if you're not already in love. Hope you find love and if you are in love I hope you enhance what you already got