 Hello everyone, welcome again to another Narc Survival Live video. In this one I'm going to be discussing why the narcissist is nowhere to be found. It's like they were with you one minute and maybe everything seemed to be okay. Well maybe you did have a disagreement, something went wrong, but then all of a sudden they disappeared. They stopped communicating with you. They stopped responding to your texts, answering your phone calls. And now it's like they're nowhere to be found. You don't know where they are, what they're doing, who they're with, they've just gone somewhere. And of course the first thing that might come to most people's heads is that they must have new supply and yes that can be a possibility. They may have had someone else lined up who they were dealing with and then that's how it was so easy for them to drop you because as we know narcissists cannot be alone but even then it's because you were no longer susceptible to their manipulation. It was no longer working. It was no longer effective on you and when it's no longer effective they try something else. They typically turn against you, they devalue you, they discard you, they get rid of you but you may be wondering that as well, why didn't they just openly discard you? Why did they disappear? Because that is kind of different in a way than a typical discard. With a discard you usually know exactly what you're dealing with but when the narcissist disappears and they're nowhere to be found it's quite unusual. Maybe they never did that before but they're doing it now and it makes you wonder why. And if they did just disappear in that way it suggests that you were likely dealing with a covert narcissist because the overt will typically do it openly they're not going to hide it and the reason why the covert just disappear that's typically their discard. The reason why is because they learned this form of communication or passive aggression, this kind of game playing, they learned it at a very young age. Maybe they saw their parents doing it to each other, they learned it and then they did it to their parents, they manipulated their parents or one parent and then they went to the other parent and then they went back. This is something they learned a long time ago and believe it or not but this way of interacting or should I say the lack of social interaction that actually brings them pleasure and enjoyment. Yes, they actually enjoy the manipulation, the gaslighting, the game playing, that's their idea of fun. It gives them a thrill while for us we may prefer actual conversation and interacting with someone, understanding them, their perspective, their point of view and for even overt narcissists Yes, they will typically enjoy that as well and that's their preferred form of supply but that's where they differ with the covert narcissist because what covert narcissists enjoy most is doing things under the radar or behind the scenes. They enjoy the game playing, making you second guess yourself, messing with your mind. That's what they prefer and that's a simple way to identify what type of narcissist you are dealing with and that's not to say that the overt want to ever do that but it's something that covert narcissists will do a lot, a lot more than the overt narcissist because that is their preferred choice for supply. They get a kick out of it because as I've said they've learned this at a very young age and they connected it with pleasure as a form of power and control because they're very insecure and they have low self-esteem so they do these things to regulate their self-esteem and to boost their fragile ego, it makes them feel special and important when they can distract you from whatever you're doing, your purpose, your work, maybe even your friends, your families and get you to focus all of your attention on them and their little games and I know it may seem childish and immature but you have to recognize that they're like a two year old child in an adult body this way, they are emotionally underdeveloped, they're not going to come to you and talk like how we're talking now, it's not going to be that way with them, they're going to play games, they're going to do things under the radar, they're going to try to mess with your mind and torture you psychologically because they get off on that, it brings them pleasure to see your pain, distress and confusion, it really does something for them because they're not wired normally, like a normal person they were traumatized at a very young age, they saw this way of how their parents interacted with each other, they learned it and they took that on and it became a part of their character and personality, so this is why they're nowhere to be found, it's why they disappeared, it's why they do the things that they do and they're not even really that bothered about it, they don't see it as though they're missing out on social interaction with you, they're missing out on actually getting to know you and understand you or making things right with you, they don't think that way, they lack empathy, they don't even care about who you actually are as a person, to a narcissist and especially a COVID narcissist, you are just an object, you're an extension of them, so they use you like a tool to regulate their emotions, to feel better about themselves but no matter what they have they're never grateful, they're never satisfied, I mean just remember when they were actually there, it's like no matter what you did it was never good enough and no matter what they did to you, no matter how much they abused you, they were never satisfied, they always escalated, they always wanted more because they have a void that can never be filled, there's never gonna be a time where they're like yes, okay you've given me enough or I've punished you enough now I'm satisfied, I can let it go, I can stop holding a grudge, I can stop feeling this resentment towards you, there is never going to be a moment like that with the narcissist, that time is never going to come because as I said they viewed you as an object that exists to serve them, you're just an extension of them, it's almost like when they're holding their phone in their hands, an object, they use the phone, they post up and up on social media, it gives them a supply and it's like when they're operating with you as a device and well I know there's normally not any buttons on phones anymore, they're all touch screen but back in the day there used to be buttons on phones and it's like they use this device, you're an extension of them, they're pushing your buttons, getting reactions, getting supply but nothing will ever be enough and that's typically why they resort to the mind games, the game playing, doing things under the radar behind the scenes because they are dysfunctional and normal social interaction is not satisfying for them, it's like remember all of those times when you were to have a conversation with them, you're just talking about something and you're enjoying it, you're thinking the conversation is going well and then all of a sudden they've just got to act foolish, they've got to say something stupid, they've got to mark and ridicule you, point out something they don't like about your appearance or your behaviors, there's always something wrong, they've always got to cause drama and chaos because they just can't be satisfied with normal human relations, that's not good enough for them, if it was then they would just do that, they would just converse with you like a normal person and they wouldn't just disappear and go off and find someone else, if they were satisfied with just a normal human interaction with you then why would they do that, they do it because they're dissatisfied and that's not anything to do with you, I'm sure myself or anyone else in this community we could converse together and there would be no problem at all, the problem is that you're dealing with a narcissist who could not be satisfied with normal human relations so they've always got this craving, they're very egotistical and the ego always wants more, it's never satisfied so they're pushing and pushing to elicit more and more reactions from you and the abuse and the manipulation, it escalates along with the gas lighting and they keep wanting bigger reactions out of you, they want something even more intense and it's just never enough, they're never satisfied, they always want more because it's a distraction, it's escapism from this void that they have within themselves and it can never be filled, they have no sense of self, they have no identity, they have no inner sense of value so they're constantly seeking and trying to extract value from the external world from other people so we become like this external regulator, we're meant to be able to regulate ourselves from within just as we all have a heart and it's meant to beat to keep us alive, it's almost like if they were to be wired up to your body and your heart so that you beat for them to keep them alive for them to survive emotionally, that's what you are as an external regulator because they can't regulate their own emotions from within so they need you to be their narcissistic extension because they're incomplete, they're not complete human beings, they can't regulate themselves from within so they need something outside of themselves to feel complete and even then they're never even satisfied, they always want more, it's never enough so when they know you're no longer susceptible and they feel like they've gotten as much out of you as they can then they will typically just disappear the COVIDs especially and that's meant to punish you, it's meant to squeeze out that last bit of supply before they go and after they go rather because then even if they can't see you they assume you're holding on, you're longing and yearning for them, they assume that they're causing you pain and distress but even then it's typically just a matter of time until they come back when they get bored of their new source so they begin devaluing them or the new source catches on to them then they'll come back to Hover Gear and they'll come back like nothing ever happened they're not going to bring you any closure or validation and if you confront them they're not going to want to talk about it they'll just try to distract you or change the subject to something else because they have no interest in that they don't care about closure or resolution it does nothing for them, normal human relations normal social interaction, they enjoy the games or it's just all about their needs, their emotions and it all comes back to this fact that they have applied within themselves that can never be filled, they abandoned themselves and created a false character so they have no power or energy to generate from within so they need you to be their narcissistic extension, their external regulator and it's pretty pathetic when you think about it that a grown adult has to depend on you for their own emotional survival they have to use you as an external regulator you're like their life support but that's just how it is especially with these COVID narcissists and that's why you do need to be very careful when you are around them because not only are you their external regulator but they also have a void that can never be filled so they're gonna drain the life of you they're gonna destroy you and even then they're still not going to be satisfied and in the end they will just blame you they will label you as bad or crazy they will say that you've lost your mind and they will smear your name and all the while it was all them they're the crazy ones they're the ones who are mentally ill and crazy will make you crazy but they're never gonna accept that they disown these parts of themselves that they don't like and they assign it to their victims and then they blame you for everything and smear your name and just try to ruin your life but that's why i'm here that's why i put out these videos that's why i research this and i share this information so that you don't have to go through all of these things that you might otherwise have gone through if you didn't have this information so i hope this video was helpful to you and if it was you can show your 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