 I'm only 17 and here I am on the bridge of the Camry. I had to divide my very slim resources twice as much as before. The capture of Mount Kent cleared the way for more Marines and parrots to move up for the final assault. The white flag is flying over Stanley! The white ensign flies alongside the Union Jack in South Georgia. God save the Queen. And congratulate our forces and the Marines. Morning, how are you brother? I'm good, thanks very much Chris. How are you? Yes, I'm absolutely super mate and enjoying a bit of something of a heatwave here in the south west. Same here on the Isle of Wight, it's been absolutely red as the last couple of days. Yes, I'm not going to complain eh? No, definitely not. Could be dark more in winter. It could be, with the last pack on the back digging a hole. Yeah, all the Falklands. And we got to thank Andy, haven't we? So big, massive shout out to Andy for putting us in touch. Andy contacted me folks and said, you've got to speak to Molly, he's seen a bit, he's done a bit. And especially in this commemorative 40th anniversary of the Falklands. Thank you ever so much for coming on mate. Yeah, you're welcome. And thanks Andy. Thanks for pointing me in this direction and hooking us up together. So, judging by your appearance, I'm guessing you went through training in around the 90s? Oh, you're doing me some credit there Chris, a little bit earlier than that. 1980 I joined up September, September 1980 at the ripe old age of 17. I'd literally just turned 17 in the August and joined up in September. My gosh, how little did you know what was coming in two years time? I don't think anybody really did. I think something that's interesting, we were chatting at one of the Falklands reunions recently was about how many silverware a lot of people have on their chest nowadays. And when you do that photograph that you have in training, you know, in the Lubbets that they send home to your parents to make you proud. You normally borrow the training teams Lubbets for that, what you did in those days because yours weren't ready. And I can't remember who he was, but they had two medals and then I medal them something else. I can't remember what he was, a UN one I think. And we were all enthralled by this and you know, we get a couple of medals you know at that age. And I remember one of them said, well, the average way that he works out sort of every 10 years he calls involved in some kind of conflict of trouble. So in a 22 year career, yeah, you'll get to maybe three good conduct medal or something like that. Little did we know what was going to come over the hill very quickly. And then with the crash of the wall and the instability that brought all the other operations that the Corps has been involved in, well the British military in general, but the Corps particularly has been involved over the years. So we exceeded that number of two or three, quite a few people of that era by some margin. Yes, and good credit to you. What was training like back then? Is it as easy as they say it was? Strangely, it's hard. It was the old thing where a lot of people left very quickly in the first couple of weeks, not quite what they expected. But of course that was the days before you had PRMC and all that good stuff. So you didn't do any of that. So it was a two way street to see what it'd be like. So I think a lot of people got there and decided this is really not for me and what I was not expecting. So they leave quite early. I think it pretty much follows the same process more or less as it does now. I think it's a well proven thing. I think it's not changed very much. It's tweaked here and there, new weapons systems, new comm systems, but pretty much I think it produces the goods. And I don't think anybody wants to tweak with it. Is it different? I did a study. I did an MSc. Having left school, we won GCSE. That was something I was quite proud of. I did a course at the Tribunal University for you. And I did a study on occupational stress and wellbeing of all things in recruit training. And some parts of that were published after that report. But I kind of got quite a good insight from a research point of view about how people cope with stress. And one of the things I was doing with INM was expecting when we did these questionnaires and studies throughout the training that the recruits would actually report that they were under a lot of stress but that they were coping quite well because of strong resilience. But actually what the data produced, I'm going to go back and check this, was that they weren't stressed and that actually they were coping very well with training. Maybe not on the physical aspect, but from the mental aspects. And that was quite an iron, I have to say. A lot of that goes down to the type of characters that are drawn to the core, the challenge. They expect to be treated like that. They want it to be hard. Nobody joins up wanting it to be easy. They want it to be tough. They want to prove themselves. So yeah, I think it's probably still the same. And I found it tough. Got back-trooped. Don't mind admitting that on here. You know, at the time that was a kick in the teeth because it was just before the commando phase, but I got glandular fever. And may of mine, Ricky, we were just going to pick up our warrant for one long weekend you got in those days in the 32 weeks. And so I just need to lay down and just feel a bit tired and then woke up three days later in R&H down in Plymouth, the old hospital with tubes up with those, saying I was going to be back-trooped. So that was a bit of a kick in the teeth because it was close to finishing with my original troop. But yeah. But I guess the lessons I learned from that was pretty much always been independent and followed my own drum beat. I always spoke in my mind. I do that in my civilian world and work now and I always did it in the core. So they put me in Hunter Troop and told me I wouldn't be able to rejoin training for six months. And I wasn't having any of that. You know, I was like, I'm not doing this for six months. So after probably about six weeks when I felt quite strong again, I went to the OC and asked to have an orderly room and said to him, you know, I feel I'm good enough to go back in the troops. The doctor saying that you're not allowed to go to take six months off. Can't do fees. And I said, well, as if that's the case. I said, I'm just going to leave then and just put my chin and I'll go and join the Paras. Not that I really wanted to join the Paras, but I didn't want to spend six months in Hunter Troop either. So they kind of took that on board and said, OK, how serious are you? And I said, I'm deadly serious. I'm not doing six months in Hunter Troop. I've come here to do something and I want to get something done. And if I can't do this, I'll do something else. So they said they came back a couple of days later and said, OK, the deal is, if you can do two four mile speed marches, two six mile speed marches, you can get on back to back and pass them. Then we'll put you back in the troop. So that's what I did. And then went into one five four troop, which was only three troops behind my original one. And yeah, past training. I think the only thing which ever. Urged me a bit. It was very obvious. Well, there was there was three things out of that troop back trooping. The first one was the personalities in there. So I called Josh Shields, the troops sergeant, he was the famous picture in the Falklands on the point five Brown in for two command. The Provy Sergeant, he was my troop sergeant. So that that was interesting. And I saw Josh recently, the reunion is looking well, had to pick him up for his tie a little bit, looking a bit shabby on parade, but it was all good. And then the other one was Mick Eccles. He got the MM down south. So Mick was my section corporal in training. But he was also my section corporal in the Falklands and K company, which is a small world. So those things are when they say firing maneuver, make sure you do it properly, actually proved to be very true in this case and a very short period of time afterwards. So that that was interesting. I think the only thing is that they probably didn't look at the records why you were back troop. So though I passed all the commando test first time, I was no way to rise and start. I was run down and I was struggling through it. And, you know, managed to get through them all first time attempts and pass, but I was hanging out. And I kind of think the training team thought I was the malinger at the back rather than this bloke shouldn't be doing this now. Billy's passing the first time, but I don't think they were probably aware of my situation. So that always wouldn't say irked me, but it would have been nice if they maybe been a bit more appreciative that the effort I was putting in. But hey, done really well at the end of the day. Got my green berry passed out training and then went and joined 4-2 commando. Not enough is made, Molly, of lads that have to go into the Hunter troop. I don't even know if it's called that now, but I mean, they phoned me up when they're struggling. Well, four or five of the lads have now and I just talk them through the mindset that they need to develop to get back in the troop and start smashing it again. All the lads I've chatted to have gone on to get their green lids, but it's brought it home to me that I never had to deal with that stuff, right? Like, to me, I looked at that noticeable what it said we're doing today. That's what I did today. I think maybe they did it a week in advance so you saw the next week. I thought, right, we've got that tomorrow. That is literally as far forward as I thought. And because I passed everything, all except the swimming test, which took me to, I think, week 30 or something, I never had the stress of being backtrooped. And that is stress. I mean, it's a whole... It's something lads can feel proud about is having to get over that hurdle, get back into a troop, get the mind in gear again, and then going forward to get the green lid. I think it's overlooked. I think it is overlooked, and we always say sometimes the biggest strength is when you learn from setbacks and failures in life. And a lot of people that end up in those troops, like myself, just through an illness, I didn't go out to get glandular fever, and there's quite a serious illness, particularly when you're doing a lot of hard fizzing around it. A lot of people end up stress fractures, breaking things. So, you know, actually, I probably had a sense that when I left training, I was probably a little bit embarrassed about being a backtrooper, if I'm honest. I'm not now, clearly too old to worry about anything, being embarrassed about anything in life, really. But certainly for the first few years, certainly I felt a bit embarrassed about it, even though I'd overcome things and did more to get back into training than past it. I think there is that sense that you're seeing, whether it's true or not, it's a different thing, but I think there is a sense there that you feel that, you've failed at something, and then you've got to be stronger to get back into it. And I think they have a lot of mentors now, and people of, I was going to say my age, you're a bit younger than me, Chris, but our age, I think, who are involved in helping to mentor people, and I think you just said you'd do some of that as well, which I think is really a positive thing. Certainly didn't have it in my day. I was just getting there and swimming or sink. And you arrived here, what, 4-2 commando? Yeah, 4-2 commando, and thought I'd joined the French foreign legion at first, arrived at Bicly, you know, in a rainy, dark night, and wondered what was going on, and when I asked where the guard room was, what I needed to do, there was, I can't remember if there were poles or if there were checkers or vacuums, but there was only bootmechs with foreign, that's when bootmechs did the game, with very strong accents. And in those days, I think there was quite a lot, there's a lot of South Africans there, but there was a lot more people from around Europe and things in the core. There was a lot more common, but it was a bit of a dim light at the front gate of Bicly with two guys with foreign accents. I thought I was joining the foreign legion for a minute, you know, the guard room's over there, I was like, right, okay, Roger that. I joined that, joined K company, loved 4.2, I guess that's my parent unit, served in all the commander units, so I served in 4.2 twice, once as a four years in K company, then as an officer, and then served in 4.5 commando and 4.0 commando a couple of times as well, but I'd say 4.2 is my first experience in my home unit. I think once you've served in all of them, they're very similar, they've all got their unique culture slightly, I guess, it's slightly different, it's all boot next together, but they are slightly different for sure, but 4.2, yeah, definitely that's my core home, for want of a better word, both in the Royal Marines and my core inside me, you know, when I go back to Bicly, I absolutely love it, brings back lots of memories. So yeah, joined K company, and that was 4.2 were a great organization then, which they still are having just done the reunion, the infrastructure's changed a bit, joined that and then prepared to go off to Norway. That was my first, in fact, my first deployment wasn't it was Copenhagen. The only thing I remember about Copenhagen is I learned how boot next are very good at acquiring things such as free bikes to get back from the run ashore and then leave them by the ship in big piles for people to collect, which could drive the probably mad. And the other one that, putting a harbor position in the cabbage field and pissing rain that goes on for about 18 hours and trying to put a bivvy up against a load of cabbages that are about two foot high is not an act of war and something that was a particularly pleasant experience. That's all I can remember from that. How high should a bivvy be? Well, I don't know how it should be but I know that two foot wasn't enough in the muddy field and cabbages are not strong enough to hold a bivvy up. I was going to say as high as Cumber Allowes. Two foot in this case. And they're big cabbages. They were big cabbages. I think we got out of the rain there, Mick Hattles joined the company then took a smoke grenade and found a cave but I think it was full of critters and stuff so he smoked them out of the smoke grenade and I think most of the troop managed to cram into this but it seemed like it wasn't a very big cave but we all managed to get in there out of the weather for a while and protect ourselves. And then, yeah, then went off to Norway but I didn't do my very first Norway and I needed to do a lot of Norway's. I didn't do my first one with K company and I was a bit disappointed initially because that was the days when you used to be selected to go and train the two nine commander. So there were select Marines around from different commando units to go and train on the guns, on the gun subs so I did my first winter with two nine commando and actually in retrospect, it was a hard, hard winter digging those guns in and moving about and operating in the cold and under helicopters constantly is a hard, hard thing but more importantly, it did come to fruition that in the Falklands they did get hit and they lost the gun sub and it was Marines and those guns when it came shoved to push. They didn't do that sort of scope anymore I think it's a bit more technical with the guns out now in the kit but in those days that's what they did. So yeah, I found that really interesting and then did that and then came back to K company and went on leave with a pocket full of cash that I'd never had before as a young man doing what every other young boot neck does. I lived in a farming village and that was trying to chat up as many women in the local communities I could at 18 with my newly found green berry and ego and try and coax them into a relationship and was failing massively at it but that's what I was attempting to do. Mate, I rocked up at Bickley and it was rear pie so I come straight out the hecticness of Limestone where you never have a minute to say even when you're asleep there's another eight or seven guys in the room, right? Seven guys, five guys can't remember so we rocked up at Limestone Norway rear pie and there was nothing there was nobody there was nothing to do you're supposed to turn two in the morning for PT I don't know, eight o'clock or something and they go and run you up and down, kill a hill a few times but to be honest I reckon you could have not even bothered turning up for that and nobody you had to go and find your own grot that's room folks and yeah it was weird I suppose it was a bit of an anti-climax I think it probably is I think when you join any commando unit and it's on rear party it's a bit like the tumbleweed rolling down the main drag isn't it because it's a skeleton crew that's on there and yeah I'd imagine when you've got high expectations I mean I've never joined when it was a rear party so that cycle's been lucky for me but yeah it's probably pretty disarming particularly when you come out of commando training you're ready with all the guns going to get stuck into something and then you're like yeah let's go and do a six-miler and then clean your weapon and that's you for the day yeah and fucking guard duty it's like not what you want your first experience of a commando unit to be so the old cliche then Molly where were you when you heard about the Falklands and how did you have to get recalled yeah I did so just mentioned then I've been out doing my best hobby with cashing the pocket trying to convince the young females of the local community to you know be nice to me feeling at that and then my dad came in I was probably sleeping bed he's an early riser farming community but he came in and said the Argentinians have invaded the Falklands and all the commandos and parrots have been recalled to the units to which I sat up in my bed with a hangover and I was like what? and my first reaction because I only just joined the corps I had no clue where the Falklands were and I thought my dad's Scottish so I was like and I thought the reason he was passionate why would the Argentinians want to invade islands off the north of Scotland because my first reaction that's kind of where I thought they were anyway, staggered out of bed went spoke to him looked at the news and we've been recalled and that's how I got the recall so I didn't get the police knocking on the door or anything like that picked it up from the news and made my way back to Bickley and I then got there and it wasn't like real party it was extraordinarily busy I've never seen the unit that busy trucks and people all over the place and give them direction go down here, get new kick go to the med centre, get jabs, get this and it seemed a bit chaotic but I guess somebody was in charge as we were all running around I remember there was always Bickley Lane, you remember Bickley Lane that long narrow lane that was just 24-7 was just a line of lorries military lorries queued up bringing in ammo I mean the amount of ammo, I don't know where they were stored I'm sure it probably wasn't in any kind of legal way, within the magazines there but yeah, just kit and stores and everything else in retrospect I kind of wonder why they were bringing it to Bickley because we buggered off a few days later and went to Southampton, they're probably better taking it straight to the ship but I guess in those days I didn't really see that but we were probably sorting out our own logistics and getting ready to support the unit but yeah, that was that was kind of it and it was very little information, we were just told this is what's happening, this is where we're going we didn't know what we were going to do then just get ready to move and it's kind of bizarre because nowadays when you're on standby and are one to move everything's prepped and it's ready to go and there's a plan back in those days they didn't seem to be, we were ready to go all the time, just gave you information of kit and it was kind of like well, you're good to go, you've been trained we've been training all the time, that's it we just need to know where we're going now and get on with it and that was the same in 40 commando actually without payment in Iraq there wasn't really any R1 there either it was kind of like we had 24 hours to get a troop together and that was it, crack on with it so it was interesting I think the only thing that we were really called there which was would have helped my trap in ratings was get ready to go, hurry up, then don't go so they said we're delayed by another 24 hours and they were like, okay that's fine so what do we do now, we've prepped everything they're having together and they're like run a shore it is their Royal so off we went back down Union Street and 40 commando were based there HQ and SIGS it was a big big boot net contingent then and the street was jam packed but I remember the night just before we went we were in Boots do you remember Boots Chris, was that there when you were there yes mate, that went on for quite a few years yeah so we were in Boots doing the old disco dancing trying to convince the local women to be nice to us as we always do then the lights went on and the music went off and these MPs came in and got on the microphone and said all members of 42 commando and 40 commando that are in there they certainly said 42 you need to return to base now and there's trucks are outside get on it and do it now then we were like wow so we all traipsed out and if there was any one time in your life that you could have trapped that was it but we had to leave Threaders and indeed the lorries were there and we left and that was our last last bit that we saw of Plymouth until we returned a few months later were you on Canberra yeah on the Great White Whale that was an amazing experience when we turned up to see that didn't quite know what to make of that to be honest below 1600 Royal Marines and 400 paratroopers armed to the teeth signed on the passenger list they rattled on board in heavy boots but they're under orders to change into soft shoes to protect the floors yeah it's normally this point in the podcast I give a shout out for the staff on the cruise liners and they were absolutely phenomenal and they do get forgotten about Chris actually so I was at the freedom of the city of Portsmouth Fetch about three weeks ago and I actually went to one of the dinners where the veterans went and I ended up meeting up with a guy I can't remember his name because it's on this phone but I've saved it and I'll have to look it up but he was one of the crewman merchant seamen that was on Canberra and a thoroughly nice guy and it was really interesting to listen to his stories from his side things that we just didn't consider that they had to deal with but also it was interesting that they don't have any reunions or they don't have any gatherings as such they said that he felt like he had been overlooked a little bit they are the best sea soldiers in the world said one officer of his men on their backs the kit they'll need to survive in the event of an assault on the islands so the reason I took his name is when we have other reunions you know in London and things there's all environment long if he wants to come I think people would like to chat to him and would welcome him we kind of look after ourselves and guess a little way don't we buy units arrange our own reunions but yeah yeah so please shout out for them they were great yeah massively I mean so brave to go into a war zone with no military training whatsoever and what a lot of people don't know is when when the marines and the Paris went ashore and the guards etc etc that these civilians took over the GPMGs and stuff one guy shot I think it was on the the New Orleans that the Paris traveled down with shot a freaking albatross not a good move in nautical terms but yes and were you like a lot of people say were you still thinking there was going to be a ceasefire or there was going to be negotiations yeah I think so I think we were prepping and we were briefing and talking tactics there's not much more tactics you could do on Canberra until you got onto Ascension Island and even then there wasn't much time to do that there either really so there wasn't really that much prep but there was a lot of talking about revision I guess of the theory of things and making sure that the comms were good and all the rest of it was prepped doing hardfills was the main thing I mean that desk of Canberra must have just got pounded to be it's even when you're trying to get your head down there would be somebody almost 24-7 pounding around it I don't know who the coordinator was but they're probably in charge of the England rugby team now coordination and happening to get everybody on there but I think fundamentally we were prepared to go and mentally ready to do things but I think the enormity of what we were being asked to do was so enormous and it hadn't been done really since World War II that we were thinking is that really going to happen or is this just I use the word posturing now but probably back then at 17 I was probably saying was it just bollocks political bollocks excuse my French but it was I guess that's probably the general fee and I think most people say that that we expected it to wind down and for the Argentinians to back down there's no way that they would want to deal with what was coming their way then of course that didn't happen but we were doing just everything was fine tuned and prepped and prepped again and even though we didn't have really cutting edge kit in those days at all by any means it was prepped and made sure that it was ready to go I think the most bizarre thing was we didn't have commando daggers then shouldn't call them daggers but before we had the big next all of Czech commando fighting knives so there was talk about making grots if we had to take centuries of people out but of course they didn't have cheese wire I don't think that's probably high on the QM's list of when he was deploying in 48 hours so we had this reel of barbed wire and I remember we've been shown how to make grots out of barbed wire with handles on it that sticks in my mind because one I was thinking that's not really the principle how cheese wire works the second one is even though we were quite young lads how do you use this on somebody and what we were told was it won't be quite as quick or as silent but you just use it and saw it from side to side to make sure you got plenty of barbs in the bit in between now it sounds silly but we were trying to make weapons out of everything we could in case we needed them and I know it sounds gruesome and I'd never used it I'm not sure if anybody did but we were making these things and that's the thought process we were going through at the time and I think that kind of brought it home that this had the potential to actually be very brutal if it goes the way that it did in the end gosh yes and Kay company Mount Mount Harriet Mount King yeah so I was in three troop so Kay company initially when we went in San Carlos sound and we were offloading we were reserve unit initially and then that didn't last very long and then we went to the fore and that's kind of where we stayed but when 40 commando were getting off the boats and they were in the first wave we were all camped up and had been showing our assault stations to go in I can't remember if we were in the third or fourth wave but I think even at that point then I think in that silence and the brief that we had and we're all camped out loaded up and we knew what to do in emergency where to go where to get off when the fire started I think we were kind of still is this really going to happen and we were laying down in these mess decks in our grouping so we could get to our assault station when we were called forward and it's still kind of an eerie silence and then I can't remember what time it was we'll go back and look at the diaries you know it'll tell you exactly to the minute but then the naval bombardment started and I always remember there was cartoons or some Disney movies or things on the TV and the mess deck and we're all laid there with all of our weapons bombed up and ready to go and the naval fire started and when you hear naval bombardment those 4.5 guns going and they're doing it in unison it is an awesome noise even from the inside of the ship and I think we were just looking at each other remembering we were most of us were 18 years old and I think that's when we were looking at each other and we were like shit we're actually doing this I think that was the first realisation because it went eerie silence and they crept into the sound to suddenly this and that was the kickoff and I think that was a bit of an eye-opener that we were getting not an eye-opener, I think that was acknowledgement that we're really going to do this and I think our minds kind of kicked in then to where there might be or they'll sort this out well that's it then, we're in it now let's just get on and do whatever we've got to do for however long it takes and then I think that the next one on top of that was probably although the naval bombardment was going in then that stopped obviously the landing craft got closer with 40 in I'm guessing, well I know because I've read some of the books that's when the air attack started so I think it was Commander Yarka who was in charge of Canberra as the naval officer and used to give the air warning raid in time so many aircraft coming air warning red then distance how many planes and that's the first one we had and you could hear the machine gun fire and the fire of the missiles and everything going up and all the rest of it followed by the next one where we started to say air warning red didn't even get the word red out and then there was just a massive machine gun fire and everything else and we all sort of dove underneath the tables and everything, it was a bit of chaos and yeah I guess that's where we were kind of in it and then I was number two on the gun with a guy called Mick Smith and we got told to go and get up to the top deck so we had pre-position firing points but they didn't want us up there like everybody initially but when they realised the intensity of that air attack was coming in they were like everybody with the gun get up there and as we were making our way along you talked about the crews you know there's beautiful polished wood floors on the Canberra and as we were running along with some of the other gun crews to get out to the upper deck there's another wave of missiles machine guns came in and we took cover but we slid and it was a bit like the Waltz Ballet as we slid up this polished floor dragging the GPM gene link with us towards the doors the machine gun fire was coming in and as I went past in slow motion I could see a lot of the civilians in the crews they were all lined up because it was next to the emergency positions with the life jackets on and you know some of the girls were crying you know there was a lot of upset and kind of we had a purpose and a job to do but I felt sorry for them because I was like the hell you know they're probably thinking what have I got to do now this one had been the engineering staff for the crew on the bridge you know these I think were the support staff so there was no requirement for whatever they did so they were just sat there when all this was going on around them which I think I don't think I'm sure it was extraordinarily frightening for them for us I think we were a bit on the unknown and we were doing our professional job so it wasn't frightening for us it was kind of exciting and exhilarating because here we were doing all that stuff that we grew up on in black and white movies you know that's why a lot of us joined commando you know the little commando comics and stuff like that probably a bit young and a bit naive frankly but you know that's where we were and then got out into the deck and started put the gun up onto the poles and then started firing away and did that for quite a few hours and yeah that was something that would be embedded in my mind for a long long long time I mean the bravery of the Argentinian pilots is one thing but the bravery of the naval ships that took the bombardment in front of us just just amazing I like the privilege of talking to some of them about those crews of the ships you know the Arden, Antelope, Coventry things like that they just broadsword took some hits as well but I remember when we were firing and the jets were coming in I mean they purposely positioned themselves get quite emotional just talking they purposely positioned themselves in front of us to take that ship amazing amazing decisions by the commanders and the officers to do that they've got to put their own boys at risk but then for the guys on those ships to fight it as well just very humbling actually the older I get the more you tell them my voice a bit emotional the more I realise the courage that takes to do that and it was all about the military output wasn't necessarily because they cared for us of course we cared for each other didn't matter what cat badge you were the ultimate goal of knowing that camera goes down and the land forces get taken out before they hit the beach then all of this so far is for naught so I think it was that common goal and understanding which was really really humbling I think was the way and I remember particularly one thing I can't remember which ship it was but it was broadside onto us as the jets they were coming in and we were trucking and firing somebody said to us I can't remember what it was now I think it was like 35 lengths in front of the speed they moved so we were trying best to guesstimate that probably on the side of a ration pack or however you do it knuckles on the way going but when another jet came in I can't believe it was an n-trial did not but it dropped a thousand pound bomb and I caught that out of the corner of my eye and that was to the left of us half left and it was really low and I saw this bomb release and come down and there was one that went over the side of the ship and exploded and rocked the ship back and then another jet came in and released another bomb and that one went through the helipad you know the helipad on the type 22s and 42s at the back there was guys on the back of that firing away with machine guns and that bomb almost like slow motion in my mind and they say these things are indelible even after 40 years came down so low that they ducked because that's all they could do and the bomb skimmed in between them and over their head literally clipped the ship as it rocked away from the other bomb and landed in and exploded and I was just like that you don't get much closer than that I don't know if it was a 500 pound or a thousand pound bomb but it was certainly a big bang and these guys just stood up as the water then exploded and came down and then carried on firing again you know amazing courage that's all I'm going to say anyway I've rapped just a little bit there get in Chris I don't think I've done a Falklands podcast without ending up in bloody tears mate it was just it's amazing courage by everybody involved but also for everybody back home I mean jeez I mean I was 12 years old yeah my mates having to watch the news to find out if his dad died that night he used to put the names of the dead you wouldn't have seen this obviously but the names of the dead after the battles scrolled up the TV after the news every night you know my mates 11 he's having to watch the news to see if his his dad had died it it's ugh ugh you know this is our snippet of war I mean there's wars all over the planet aren't there there's wars ongoing we seem to not seem to not get away from it but it just shows you the effect it has on everybody um I think it's I think it's not just the effects I think it's I think the thing with that war particularly was the intensity of it how far away it was and I know we say it was 8000 miles but 8000 miles was a long, long way away with no support um and I think it was the fact that it was a full-on war um you know nobody nowadays is very used to losing the warship certainly not cutting edge one um but I know in the village that I grew up called Broughton and it was a little village with a pub um called The Crown and that was my local and I know my sister who was a barmaid there uh and she said that when Sheffield got hit you could cut the atmosphere in the pub because everybody wasn't just me there was Nick and a um couple of other bootnecks that we all grew up in the same area so though they didn't hang out in my local all the time they knew all of us but she said you could just cut the atmosphere when that came up on the news there's a flash of what had happened and it was burning I think when they saw that it was a cutting edge warship which it was at the time and it had been hit and it was burning it was probably going down um I think that really bore it home to people that this just wasn't a northern island or a bit of a you know something that was going on round a canal somewhere or you know that it was this was serious when you're losing equipment like that that you know this is going to be a big challenge and I think that's probably the gravity that everybody felt both at home and and down there and being outnumbered as well because that was made as a you know big number as well you know we were outnumbered three to one you know almost in every aspect and how heavy was your bergen um well of course I'll tell all the chicks it was 120 pounds um to be honest I don't really know but I know it was heavy enough um that you wanted to put it on you had to lay down and put one shoulder on it and then roll over and stand up that's probably the best way of describing it um but you didn't have you didn't have any very many niceties in there it just was no room it was basically section kit then it was med kit then it was ammunition radio batteries you know um I think we had a set of waterproofs probably one pair of socks and things like that but that was about it and then a bit of scramb but everything else was uh was ops kit essentially um and then of course when we had to offload and then when we did get called for and said right now going you know getting down with the landing craft that was a bit tricky in itself because if you went down in the water in between with all that kit on you're probably weren't going to come out well and and somebody did wasn't it an outcome but somebody I think just before us had fallen down and the landing craft crashing against the side of camera in this huge waves ice cold water being distance bergen and swam underneath the landing craft because that was the ia we were told to do if you did fall in so it wasn't there was any net or anything to stop it happening but the brief he got was don't go in but if you do do this and he did and and and got out so I'm guessing after 36 years of carrying bergens they probably were about a hundred pounds um you know um and then you had to 81 mil mulcher rounds on top of that so there was no other way of getting that short at the time so every boot net was part of the logistics train and you carry those in your hand as well and then dump them off on the beach when you arrive there um so yeah that that's uh I'm eventful for us I mean it wasn't a post landing but we weird just before we boarded um that's when um the messages were coming back about the helicopters that have been shot down the reconnaissance helicopters uh the one in the sea and the other one Chris Nunn um and that um particularly the one in the water uh uh Wishbury and Eddy I think was the pilot um but they were shooting the crews up in the water um so I think that set a presence as well when those stories were coming back in the light right okay um that's not really playing the game as we'd expect um and and then although they had established the beach head when we arrived we thought well we're just going to establish the beach head and join in but essentially the people they hadn't opposed the landing but there had been about 50 60 people I believe there at San Carlos itself that they'd moved but they didn't know really where they were so we were asked to go out um I think with I think it was probably two power on one of the flanks but to move out outside the ring around it and then to go and put in um basically listening posts um to go and see what was going on so we moved forward I don't know how far it was without looking at that but it was it was quite a few k um on our own really uh to go and do that and then that was where we basically put a protective perimeter in for the night and the weather was absolutely horrendous and then we had to air attacks were still going on in the sound uh and then we had to go and put a listening patrol out where they thought that there might have been some Argentinian movements and that was probably one of the most frightening nights besides you know probably more so than Harriott because we went out with Mick Ecker's section and the weather was horrendous and misty and then we found this barbed wire fence and we had to lay there all night freezing to death trying to log what we could hear because you couldn't see anything couldn't see your hand in front of your face because of the mist and the darkness um night sights weren't working particularly well and weren't brilliant in those days the old IWS and then uh and we could hear things but we couldn't make out what they were anyway when we were supposed to come in by a certain time uh Mick Ecker said well we're going to leave that a bit later because the weather was so bad and everybody was so twitchy um he didn't want to have a blue on blue and sadly uh about an hour before we went in one of the para units did have a blue on blue with the patrols coming in and um I think they they killed a couple of guys um and we heard shoots you know the shots from that um so that was that was quite frightening and that's the bit I remember about being frightening because just didn't know what was going on if I'm honest just vulnerable and out on your own um unfortunately as we did come back in um and Mick had coordinated this really well so we were challenged and it was just before first light was coming up and then we got back in safely but that was the first experience of being vulnerable and there was a very good chance somebody was going to try and kill you and might achieve it and talk about the cold a lot but I mean you guys had 98% cold weather injuries K company had that was from that was from Mount Kent yeah can you talk us talk us through that morning uh yeah of course um so uh once we did that patrol then we were we were pulled back down into um San Carlos itself again and they did that with rigid raider uh and uh uh about counting your men still happening in those days we got picked up by a rigid raider in the dark got back down to San Carlos then they decided to do a head count and found that one individual I think it was Jeff had been asleep on his bergen and his operas haven't woken him up and found himself behind enemy lines now on his own young boot neck looking around uh so uh they had to go back down on patrol and um the troop sergeant uh was less than impressed Lenny would have to go back and get him um so uh so that occurred and then we got orders that we'd be moving out and I can't remember what the time span if I'm honest between when we got back uh into the um basically there were sheep sheeps so that everything was broken down into where you could keep a sort of a small flock of sheep and there's a lots of them but we had one per section so can't remember the time span but anyway Mick went away and got orders and came back and said right guys uh these are the orders for the night and basically we were told right two night ourselves and um two of the troops from company sir our troop I can't remember who the other troop was um are basically going to go five forward 50 kilometers ahead of the rest of the British forces and we're going to be met by the SES at the base amount Kent uh can't take anything with us but first line food for 24 hours and as much ammunition as you can carry and uh we were like right okay uh we now need to take the SES we believe there's a company on top of Mount Kent holding it that's what the intelligence is we are to take out the company and then we are to hold it until the last man and that's the first time what we heard as well was that if you get wounded on the L.S or if you get hit on the L.S we need to fight our way off regroup we then move to Mount Kent and fight our way up if you get wounded during any of that time do not stop for your oppo do not give the medical first aid keep moving because we're outnumbered and if you are a wounded person patch yourself up and take care of yourself somebody will be along and then we were told when we get to the top of Mount Kent we need to hold that for 24 to 48 hours in order to get the guns in and then the rest of the force forward and the reason that that happened was because Atlantic conveyor got hit and we lost all the helicopters so 4, 5 had to yonk around and now we didn't have all the helicopters to be able to move the guns in one way and obviously well not obviously if you didn't know the Indians had predominantly 155 we had 105 so we were outgunned on fire support so the only way and that was the main overlook point was Mount Kent and the dead ground behind there before you got to Harriet and her two sisters was to keep that secure so we could move the guns in safely to get within range of their guns and have a fighting chance to do it so that was the plan and then we were told and if necessary we'd be prepared to hold until the last man and they were the orders big and somebody I can't remember who it was but somebody in the sort of gloom of the sheep shed when we were getting these orders made a comment and said is John Wayne I can't remember if it was John Wayne or Clint Eastwood is John Wayne coming on this patrol with us because it was so bizarre we kind of thought this is 1982 are we really doing things like this but the reality is and history has shown it when shove comes to push yes things like that still happen so that's you know that's what we did and then we got those orders it was all very somber we had already written the last letters that you write to your families and the son of my child those but what we agreed on this one is a lot of us didn't expect to get through this quite frankly so we wrote letters where our first month pay were to go into a pool of money so that those that didn't come back that basically everybody that did could have a party to remember when we got back and we all wrote these letters and gave them to the science major and said here's these and he was like what are these things so well you're seeing open them if we get hit it sounds a bit bizarre at the age of 18 to be thinking like that but you thought there you go and I would say that this so I used to do talks of charity on this and this is probably one of the defining moments of my life there's probably changed my life and made me look and the way I behave around people and how I lead my life so it was you know very low light these two sea kings were going and chopping away the weather was poor and then we were just loaded up with guns and weapons and 66's grenades just weapons basically everything we could carry and as we walked up the hill because their landing pad was on this top of the slope there was just all of these other boot necks that were just stood there in the sort of dwindling gloom and they were just silent and I think they knew what we were off to do and they were just looking at us and it was a really weird feeling and you know they were just staring at us it was spooky and then we got on the helicopters and we were jammed patching and I don't know how they got finished things off the ground but they did and then it was all low level flying and it was low level because obviously we were going 50k behind enemy log behind friendly lines essentially into enemy lines so as we were flying along we were all sat there quite nervous on the helicopter we got the two minutes on ready to disembark and for some reason I seem to remember that we made ready I think we were made ready for the small arms I don't think necessarily the GPMGs were but I may be wrong where but I remember that the two minute signal came up and the crewmen opened the door and it was just a snow storm and it was a flurry of snow and we were like holy crap in the night and then when we got the two minutes and we were going in and this is probably the defining point of my life I remember most of us were 18 round about then and looked at each other and we just shook hands and I mean really shook hands do you know what I mean? I probably won't see it again mate and we just shook each other's hands and it was really again I'm still quite emotional about this because at the time it was just something we did but as I've reflected on my life I realised it was a defining moment and I think the reason it was and what I've always sort of explained to people when I do charity talks was the odds against us getting through this alive if this is opposed is going to be very small and nobody in their right mind would probably want to do this and most of us were probably going to be or a lot of us were probably going to be the wounded or dead in the next few minutes but I think there's a time in your life where nobody was whinging and whining about it it was kind of like well this is our time you know since 1664 bootnecks have done really extraordinary brave things and continue to do all the way through some people get the opportunity some people don't some people get up against the odds but that legacy of the Royal Marines doesn't belong to any one person or any one group it belongs to all of us it's a bit like academia and I think that that was our point at that time to do our bit and we've been asked to do something pretty horrendous and we were willing to die for that and it was just our time that was it you know just get on with it and anyway roll on when we went through that process as we came in we could see glows through the snow as we were coming into the LS and we were like thinking what can really communicate we were like what's that because the helicopter was beginning to bank over and then there was a load of machine gun fire and shots and tracers was coming up to the helicopter and then we banged away really hard and it was like that fear we've all been on choppers where it's trying to get out of a crappy situation and then the door closed and we didn't know what was happening and we landed up back at St. Carlos and we were like what's that and when we got back this was probably about three o'clock in the morning the St. Major was there and he was in the sheep shed really quietly worshiping game you guys have no idea how much for close call you just had tonight and apparently when Goose Green had happened a lot of the Argentinians were moving back towards and that happened 24 hours before this they were moving back towards Stanley but obviously because the weather was so bad they had stopped in that position and then we regrouped and it was right in our L.S. and actually I don't know what the quote is but I've heard being told because I've met the SES team they were stuck in a cave in the middle of this they couldn't get out to warn us but they said it was quite a few thousand right in our L.S. and it wouldn't have gone well by any means but they then you know so we got up the next morning and we were like right what happens now and in all good British plans there was no other option it was a bit like Point de Hoc Port Poisson this needs to be done so we're going to do exactly the same thing exactly the same time tonight and we all piled on and went through that again and that's what we did and we landed and as we landed the weather was still bad and there was a firefight going on complete confusion but actually there was special forces but the SES had the drop on them and ambushed them so that was great and then it was a snowstorm again and really horrendous weather they led us up if you go to Wikipedia and watch Mount Kent and read that that was obviously written by somebody that really wasn't there and you would think the SES took this all on their own I'll be quite blunt about that irritates me when I read it they didn't take us anywhere near the top and then just disappeared and it came back down to us and we were like you know what's happening? we hadn't come across any bunkers yet and we were like right let's just keep going uphill and that's what Peter Babbage and the OC said so we just kept moving forward in the bad weather I'm waiting to come across Argentinians and wait to get into a fire and that didn't happen what happened was we started to find positions started to find abandoned equipment and we eventually got to the summit and that was fortunate for us and the bad weather was fortunate for us because there's a book I can't remember what he's called now but there is a book I think it's the Fourth Infantry who were also on Harriet they had taken off the conscripted people who were the troops on there because they knew how key Mount Kent was and what they then did was they pushed out I can't remember his marine parrots or I think it was parrots but essentially a very professional group of soldiers, a company were coming to take over but they didn't do relief in place they arrived, they knew leave they pulled the rest back with them when they left but the reason that company didn't get into position was because of the bad weather and they were literally just down the bottom of Kent on the other side taking cover from the weather and we got to the summit just before them so by the grace of God there goes us and that has always been one of my things that would move forward as an ML in the core was if you can operate in bad weather you've got the drop on many people and the element of surprise and then we were on there for 10 days and it was horrendous doing patrolling we didn't, the kit eventually arrived and it had been dropped in the water when a helicopter had taken a basic action from Pakara so everything did arrive while sleeping bags later we just soaking went through and the next morning when the mist rose and the snow abated we were literally huddled up with our weapons at first light to see if there was a counter attack and your windproofs were frozen solid couldn't feel your hands and we were thinking could you actually operate a weapon with these couldn't feel your feet and literally just covered in a layer of frost and and he didn't get much better from there on to be honest water supply was short we had one little hexi block for an Arctic ration not a box that you could use and so I remember with the guys I was with China Wright and Larry and Woody and Bungie Williams everybody's like Bungie Williams which Bungie Williams, Guy Williams you know having to go forward and using a neck scarf that green neck scarf you had to scoop water on your belly break the ice out of dirty puddles and then try and filter out any rubbish that was in there to make water and then when we were making trying to make a hot weather with a hexi block with shaving wood with your normal off of your pick elf in order to get shaven to wood to try and get enough heat to be able to make hot water again 1982 you know it sounds like something from the first world war to be fair pick elves were about the most useless fucking thing you could get down there outside of making a fire or smacking somebody on the head with them excuse my French because there wasn't much digging going to be done in any of that ground in the Falklands but that's where we stayed for 10 days and the result of that was that 98% of the company had cold weather injuries and still operated what's interesting though that exposure and going through that experience not a single person went down with hypothermia which is amazing and I think that's because people knew there was no causing that chain there wasn't you had a couple of medics with you that was it getting on with it so yeah and then the next time I came off there was basically when we were told to prepare and get ready to go do the patrolling in and around Harriet and then get prepared to do the assault on Harriet geez as if you hadn't had enough there was still much to come so in that engagement what was your interaction with the SAS because they're not really in their normal role are they putting in a I suppose it was a troop attack for them a company attack yeah well direct action I think it was the terminology they used but very little I didn't see them at all outside of the firefight and that's just the flashes I mean after we take them out of Kent and we were doing patrolling we had to bury the Argentinians that was quite hard work in frozen ground trying to do that and trying to fit them in trying to the rigor mortis is setting having to break the limbs in order to be able to bury them and mark them it sounds like you weren't being magnanimous in victory but there's nothing magnanimous about seeing another human being that's been killed or you've killed there's no animosity in it it's just professional soldiering that's what you have to do so that wasn't a pleasant experience being involved in that but the SES didn't really have much engagement they just disappeared again after that bumped into the troop commander who was a big deer in Ireland many years later in 2000 actually there was eight of us stealing four troop commando the lunatics who were running this island were either officers or warrant officers we managed to have a chat with him then in the mess one night in Besbrook and it was it was good to catch up and have a chat but they had other agendas and things that they'd been tasked with doing so I'm not sure what happened to them after that then they would have gone to another patrol somewhere else because they've had bad luck until that point and they three helicopter crashes two on the two on the fortune to go to the glacier had the privilege of taking some people across that in 2016 and came across that area and those wreckages are still there and that was a a challenge probably they were advised against that for various things because fortune the glacier has an ML and do a lot of work in glaciers and things is particularly subject to catabatic and alabatic winds if anybody's listening and they want to know what those are they can go and Google them but it's self generated winds that are very strong and created out of nowhere so you can look at a weather report all you want but unless you understand glaciers it's difficult to comprehend how violent they can be and then sadly they lost the one in the transit I think wasn't it all going to actually where they lost 20 of guys which was an absolute tragedy trying to dock on a ship wasn't it and it went down I think there was about four survivors of the SAS some air crew and stuff I think having been in that sea king going on to Kent with all the kit and the ammo we had and what you were weighting down with a life jacket ain't going to help you and you ain't going to get out of those as many dunker drills as you do if you're jammed in the back of those you're going down I think and sadly with them I think we were all probably acutely aware of that as well but yeah yeah they did have some tragedies down there yeah and then basically when from there and then really started the patrolling in and around well patrolling first of about Harriet I think that was both KL and other elements and I think heritford were probably involved in that as well at some point but essentially in general principle it was three different approach really one was wrecking and scoping the second one was finding a way I mean Nick Valks what's a man what a plan they came up with if we've done a full frontal salt and Harriet I very much doubt whether I'd be sat here now and I think he realised that so he wanted to look at other options and so our company and some of the K company jump Collins particularly we're doing patrols through the minefields I mean again that is just such bravery there I can't remember the guys names now and I know that's terrible of me after these years but you know losing their foot when they were clearing the minefield you know in the middle of the night with a bay nit there was no halo or anything in those days to do that it was feeling you were along with the bay nit and frozen ground finding the mines and moving them and marking them and you know a couple of guys lost their feet in that because it was a wrecking patrol going beyond enemy lines didn't make a noise didn't scream shut themselves up mate's casual back and back out again so they wouldn't give away what was going on I mean that's just you know that's commitment that is commitment to the overall plan however much pain you're in and knowing you can't shout out again it's like something from the movies but that's what the guys did they cleared the way through the minefield and then when they were going through and trying to find a way around the back of Harriott or between Harriott and Stanley the Jumper Collins who got the MM for this and other actions was one of the K come the troops Arsons saw an Argentinian patrol and and realized that they must know where the routes are you know safely through the minefields and marked that's what the Argentinians did they just mined things without marking them necessarily and so he actually took a small group of people and followed those Argentinians in at night all the way back through the minefield marking it with Cointer in it and then finding the safe route to the start line then up to Harriott again extraordinary bravely courageous thing there was 300 or 5400 people on Harriott about six of them doing this and they went and did that and then came back and then once that had been agreed that that's what the plan was going to be to go around the rear then there was some other patrol that went on one was doing feint and fighting patrols on the front of Harriott so it looked like we were probing so one troop and two troop particularly did one where they went right into the enemy lines one night we were the reserve troop and the amount of firepower that came down on those guys was just absolutely I watered I mean it went on I can't remember how long but it went on for several hours we hadn't been called forward and we were expecting to be thinking there's no way England is going to come out of that life and then eventually the fire started to dwindle and they came back and every single bloke from that patrol came back and the only reason they came back was because they ran out of ammunition and they came back they've been in a firefight for several hours killed a lot of Argentinians and moved to them and they hadn't taken one single casualty of themselves and it was all close quarter feint but you know it set the tone that we were probing so that's where the Argentinians were expecting to come from and then the other one was then positioning ourselves on Mount Challenger and for mortars and then also for blowpipe do you ever come across one of those, Chris? not personally anti-aircraft missile things that could be used for bunker busting the most cumbersome oblong piece of kit with a big tube on the end and useless bit of kit ever designed and sold to the MOD so the idea was to get melans in so we could use those for bunker busting as well as the 66's but they had to be close enough from Challenger in range of the bunkers on Harriet so you were quite close to the enemy and you could hear a pin drop out there from the Falklands if you're not been there so when it's quiet the still night you can literally hear things for miles and so as well as those patrols going on we were involved in the patrol to take these blowpipes up and pre-position them on top of Challenger and one we had to do this quietly and it's like the world's worst rock assault course down in the Falklands at night with no light these come to some bits of kit as well as not engaging the enemy at the same time and working out the R and working out if you put them in the right place so when they're going to use them that we're pre-positioning that they're in the right place they can be found and the other thing I always remember that is somebody must have been there Defence Troop said these things are triggered with they've got a magnetic trigger or something inside them so if you drop them more than two feet or do any kind of movement with them then it'll knock that firing mechanism off and they won't work and we were like looking at this guy going really and you wanted to carry these up a mountain into enemy lines at night and not drop them so we went through that patrol that was a tense night and we dropped them off I don't think a single one of those things worked to be fair but we didn't engage yet and we got them in the right position I don't know if they were used but I didn't hear any stories that they were and then came back from that and then that was essentially the preparation stuff and then basically 10th of June we got orders I've got a photo somewhere of Jeremy Heathcote our bosses were sat around giving us orders on a rock very simple very precise not overly complicated of how we were going to do the assault and it was our troop, three troops we breached the summit of Harriet once the other two troops had gone up and secured the lower ridge to breach the ridge and then to clear the bunkers basically moving from right to left until we met up with L company and that was it we were outnumbered and I'd give chats on these I haven't done this for a lot of years I used to do them for the charity and give talks, dinners and things but the certain principles in warfare don't fight uphill don't fight into defensive positions and don't be outnumbered and preferably outnumber your enemy three to one well we were outnumbered three to four to one we were fighting uphill and we were fighting into defensive bunker positions with machine guns and everything that had a monster prep so when you put all that into perspective you kind of think the odds aren't that good on us here but we have got the element of surprise coming around from the back so basically we moved through first through Challenger dumped our Bergens off and then we were supposed to meet up with one of the guards, Wrecking Troops which we did and then they were going to lead us into the start line and as we were moving along in that and we realised we were very conscious we were behind enemy lines now and if anything happened we were going to be answered between the firepower on Harrier and the potential firepower and everything that was going to come in from Stanley so it's kind of like an open bowl open ground at that point in between the sound and as we were moving down there suddenly this bigger loom flare from the artillery went up lit the whole place up and we all dived into these ditches next to a track until Coving were like shit we've been pinged here this is now going to be a fight in which direction are we going to fight in and then it went up there was no firing or anything on those shouting and then dwindled out of these things and it was only one and that was it and then the message came back down the line going these ditches we think a mind so be careful when you're getting back out and that was the only time in my life where I've laid there and I'm literally trying to move with almost fighting an ammunition on and trying to move without touching anything and get myself back up onto the track that had been cleared by the guys without triggering a mind and then there was a bit of who are in the round because the Recky Troop the Guards Recky Troop couldn't find the start line and got a bit disorientated and then I believe because I think Jang Kim was in this that there's some elements Fortu's Recky met up with us and then they took us into the start line whether that's completely true or not I'm going to take in Jang's word for that but we eventually got ourselves on the start line so we're on the start line at the base of Harriott and then L Company had been delayed because of the same incident a bit and now it was past HL so the plan was that we would go up first about 30 minutes and L Company would go to the left of us up just slightly behind us and we basically shared them out in two halves we wanted a better word and kind of laid there in quiet thinking people have often asked me if I was scared and I thought about this long and hard and I don't think I was I don't think I was scared I think I was anxious with anticipation to get on with the job unless you just get on with it but I wasn't scared of what was about to come or what was going to die I think if anything I just wanted to make sure I didn't let myself down that I was courageous enough and that I would do what every other bootleg does and we would just get on with the job I don't know if that's strictly true but I've often thought if I was scared I can't remember being scared I think I'd be embedded on my life in my mind if I was I was certainly not petrified anyway and then there was a it's called a silent noisy attack I don't think I've ever heard of one of those before or afterwards but essentially though we'd silently moved around and re-positioned the word down was for us to go and our company would catch up and they weren't too far behind anyway actually so outside the plan because otherwise if we got pinged where we were then we'd be screwed and we'd lost the element of surprise so the ship started firing as in and that's the artillery that was being used and that's when the noise started and then we were given the word to advance and that was it it was stand up in advance and we walked, I mean the ground was horrendous rocks, strewn and everything else and we just moved our way through but we were already in open position in our head for one of the better word on our lines of advances were going forward and then I think we were like when is this going to happen back to that mount a few times in daylight and how the hell we moved over that is amazing I mean it really is but we did and we continued to advance and we're thinking, getting very close here and nothing's happened yet which is great so far and then fire started and then machine gun fire just started coming down towards us and it was just every colour of trace you could think of, remembering there's four rounds in between those trace rounds it was just a wall of fire coming down towards us and I remember thinking holy shit and all I could think of is why don't we have green and blue tracer we just got red and things like that most bizarre thing to think about and then as we moved in somebody shouted out in the dark to our right do not take cover keep advancing I don't know who shouted it out but somebody did because the noise was out and that was almost instantly followed by starlight on me and that was sadly when lofty watts got shot and it was almost seconds afterwards and then I think there was a general comment between all of us is that sounds effective enough for me so then we took cover and then we were right let's start pepperpotting start firing maneuver and there we go and you know I was laid next to Nick Barnett near the gun and this machine of wargun fire just everything was coming down as and he said pull your feet in and I was laid on the slope and I said I looked him and I said what do you mean pull my feet in he said then he just looked behind me said pull your feet in and literally the ground was just a massive churning bullets behind us where all these machine gun bullets were hitting and it was no more than a foot or so behind where we were laying but I think we were just underneath the deflection of the cusp that could come down so I think the silent attack had worked so far as in that and then we started to fire and maneuver and pepperpot through so the other two troops secure just below the ridge and then our section or our troop moved through and then we were just coming up to where we picked a point where we would breach the summit and then that's when we were pinned down by the sniper and he was accurate as well and so we were in a firefight with him and then I think it was a company 2IC horse Whiteley who came up and said we've got to keep moving and we don't want to lose momentum and then subsequently got shot in the leg through both legs by the sniper and we were kind of took care of him but we're like yeah we're kind of aware of that we need to take care of this problem first and and we did and you know we were laying down fire and then the plan was with Franco Neal as the troop sergeant and Mick Eccles who was the point section I was laid next to Mick, Mick to the left of him was Jock Hugo who's a legend of a man also became an ML was the 84 gunner that we'd take him out with an 84 or certainly put his head down and then we'd assault and Franco Neal was going through remembering this was in the middle of a firefight and it was an intense firefight Franco Neal went through the postures in the troop sergeant with an 84 round load Jock Hugo replied something to the words of I've had a heat round in this since the moment we left San Carlos that skipped that bit of helicopter and everything else and then he said okay right ready ready to fire so we were like right put down the load of covering fire for him and then he can get into a position where he can fire so we started putting down a load of fire to suppress the guy while Jock go expecting him to lock around a rock or something and he's a big guy Jock no he's going to do a John Wayne and stand up fully with both legs spread in the middle of the firefight with the 84 on his shoulder and one putter and let it go which we were like mate the biggest target in this troop out of here very very brave thing to do so he did because he wanted to make sure he could get the round in the right place so he smacked that in and then we went through to assault and this is the bit where I come back to and Mick Eccles took me through training where as I went to move and he came out and went forward of me I saw some movement up in front of me and I shouted Mick down let off a few rounds and then he bollocked me because I was fired too close to his ears he was holding his ear and that bit sticks in my mind for some reason and thinking I bet when he was teaching me in training he didn't think we would be doing this for real anyway we were sold to the position and then basically then for best part of 7 or 8 hours it was just intense fighting bunker clearing and going forward running out of ammunition things that stick in my mind grenades hearing people shout grenades and Spanish and then you can hear it clunk somewhere near you but you have no idea where it is and all you can do is take cover and hope it's not right underneath you to taking out bunker positions and putting down intensive fire moving on to the next one got to one point where we took out what essentially looked like an RAP but they were firing on us and then we just carried on manoeuvring forward and firing manoeuvre all the normal funny stuff in the middle of the firefight people moving would he move in a London accent where he'd fallen down a 10 foot cliff or willing a minute you twat just give me 5 minutes to climb back up I've just fallen down a cliff people falling down cliffs and things like that you literally couldn't say remembering during all of this we were also taking fire so it was a ridge to our left we were taking fire from above us as well and there was no way to assault that from our side because it was too vertical there was only about 15-20 foot so all we had to do was just keep putting suppressing fire and waiting for the L company and took that from the rear which they did and then on top of all of this from the moment we got onto the top of it that was when they did finally defensive fire which a lot of people aren't aware of and as you know Chris that's when you have lost the position and that is when it doesn't matter to hold that position you drop your own artillery fire and mortar fire on top of it and you kill your own as well as the enemy so as well as all of that you know to the point where we had some prisoners and we were taking them back down to the channel to send them back on down to Sarm Major when an artillery round landed in between myself, Woody, Larry and two prisoners we all got blown over got blown under a rock I think Woody or Larry thought they'd lost the weapon but it was actually hanging around the other guy's neck there was an Argentinian under the rock taking cover, we were like out sending down the hill but the guys that we were covering as prisoners the round had landed directly on them one minute they were there, the next minute had gone vaporised and disappeared so then we just cracked back on during one of those incidents as we were moving through part of the artillery and the flares were going up there was dead bodies laying around but I saw one which was in our camouflage it wasn't one of our troops and I was like, I didn't know who he was so I said to the two guys, hang on a minute it's one of our guys here, so we rolled him over I thought he was blood but it was mud on his face, had a quick check for any obvious wounds and things couldn't find any but it was miserable weather as well so it had a very fake pulse his airway was clear, he said, right so we dragged him back down to the RAP and gave him to Sarm Major in the team in the firefight and that guy's name was Steve Jakes so he was a singular, I didn't know who Steve Jakes was at the time but he died three times on Mount Harry at that night and Wally Walsh who's the Clark, company Clark kept him alive they talk about the gold now nowadays in Afghanistan in Iraq, there was no gold nows then we had 26 wounded the Argentinians had many more than that and we had two medics and those medics were absolutely outstanding company medics, I mean they were just keeping people alive so we didn't get caught in about 48 hours gunshot wounds, shrapnel wounds, just didn't happen in those days, you couldn't get helicopters and safely, they were in a gully that's where they took care of each other so we continued to do that firefight that was when during that firefight and that maneuver and bound along that's when well documented incident where there was a group of people waiting to ambush us towards the end of it and Steve Newland and Sharky Ward and Mick and the three corpals who all got the MM were talking to each other and saying what they're just in front of you just be prepared, Steve Newland from one of the other troops had gone up behind and see where they were but found himself in a firefight with them killed a few of them and then got shot through both legs and basically was taking cover behind them but he was on the radio and he said look they're outnumbering you here, you're going to have to take them down and we were like we can't hear him with 804s and 66s because you're right behind them and Steve was like no just do it because he said I'm behind some rocks and I'll just take whatever comes but do it again, extraordinarily courageous decision we piled in with that and then took them down and then the next thing I think where it wasn't over but the main firefight was when just before the first light we started to take a bit of machine gun fire from L Company so there was a bit of communication there like hey it's our stop and they were like right okay that's good so that's where we were and then it all went quiet eerily quiet and there was very fine snow coming down and it was extraordinarily spooky humbling kind of that realisation that this wasn't over yet, we still had stuff to do but we were alive and we'd achieved this there was dead bodies and kit everywhere around covered in snow in various positions I think we killed over 50 Argentinians and there was still Argentinians there that were hiding they were in bunkers so we had to go back and clear the bunkers because there was bunkers on the front further down right of us so we had to do that so we went and cleared the bunkers I remember one where it was a command bunker and it had a long sort of look like a tunnel in it and it was completely closed in and I was quite wiry I guess in those days so I was tasked with going in like the tunnel rat in Vietnam but without a pistol to clear this and as I went in there was three Argentinians at the bottom of it still armed so I was like you know Rebus Las Malas still sticks in my mind I can't speak Spanish but after all these years you know put your hands up surrender so they did weren't too happy about it and then I sent them out and I remember when they came out I think it was Jock Hugo and a couple of others were at skip searching them and taking the weapons off and one of them had this samurai sword type thing down the middle of his back which was really bizarre and I'm glad he didn't pull that out I was in the tunnel if I had to fight with that but yeah that was it so we cleared the bunker, the snow was coming down it was all quite eerie managing the wounded and everything else and then we were trying to get hot wets and scran on and then we sat there and we told let's go across the goat ridge and be prepared to take that out which was across the front from us and we were like okay and the next thing that happened was after a few hours was the message came down and it was a very urgent message that there's a load of helicopters being seen being loaded in Stanley and they thought counterattacks coming on so they said be prepared for a counterattack so we all jumped into the top of the ridge line in between the arson tin and dead bollies and moved them out of the way, took over their bunkers we didn't have very much ammunition left at all virtually no 66 is all the grenades have been used very little small arms and there was no ammo resupply so there was a bit of a joke going around like looks like counterattack might be doing this with baynets and you know we were laid there for a while prepared for that whatever was going to come but at the time we didn't know it was going to and then probably the final story from that one is when across the goat ridge nothing happened over in goat ridge some of the old company went across as well so I think they had hopped it we cleared it anyway to make sure it was clear and then Jay company came up and took over security mount harry after we'd taken it but then we got told to come back and I can't remember if that was because of the counterattack or if that came first if I'm honest time muddies your mind can't remember it might be it was a counterattack after we went to goat ridge and that's why we came back but essentially we came back up and then we were in a gully down one side and we were sat there trying to get a bit of risk right now then there was myself and a guy called Dave Pickard sat right next to each other in front, Frank O'Neill Jock Eaglin that was behind us putting up the bivvy and we were trying to get hot wet on and get some food and we were very exhausted and a lot of cold weather injuries and just knackered by then and eventually we heard a load of fire to our left and it was Jay company and you see this in the old company books they talk about them firing the 120mm mortars back at the arches so they fired these rounds off and we were like what's that and somebody went oh see the Jay company and somebody on mortars there firing the Argentinian mortars back at them but I might have been 18 but I probably experienced the war then and I was like that is only going to result in one freaking thing and that's going to be an artillery stump and sure as hell all we heard next thing was there was a sighting round came over that went over us and landed somewhere on the far side and then the next sighting round that came in all we heard was and it landed right in the gully 155 round where we were and took loads of the troop out and it literally landed I was blown over and I remember shaking my head my ears were ringing touching myself to think where have I been hit because I must have been hit on that and I wasn't and then Dave Pickard was basically shaking and was down in front of me the wet was still on the hexi cooker which always amazes me didn't fall over the troop sergeant was hit and forced into a canal in the rock Jock Hughill had been hit by Shrapnel in the side who else got hit Jeff Power had been hit split to 84 rounds or an 84 round up the middle and a guy called Rowdy Yates was hit in the shoulder in the arm just further down from the other troop in the gully but he was a bit of a mess to say the least so we patched all those guys up and everything else and then we had to carry them back and so as well as the other casual backs this was probably the next day we had to then get them down the slope and they were bringing them into the dead ground in between but there was still sight of somewhere that could see us on that slope of Harriet so as we were taking down most of them were walked with aided but Jock had to be carried so I was on the stretch of carrying him because he had been fragged through the side all the way down so we were carrying these wounded down and they mortared us all the way down it was a long, long route to get those guys down so we got them down and eventually gave them over which troop in the bottom handed them over so they could be taken care of casual backs and then we had to make our way back up and the army didn't disappoint they mortared us all the way back up again as well apart from that and that was that bit the talk really then was being ready for the attack on Stanley because at that point that would have been the 13th so there hadn't been any surrender then so that was when Longdon and Sapa Hill and that were going to go in that night and then be prepared to support them and then move on the assault on going into Stanley so it was a long time and I've been privileged to go back a few times for various things to the Falklands and most of the time I've ended up doing a battlefield talk because either one going on at last to talk through things or groups I've taken down there but I was able, it's quite confusing the first time you go but there was one time in particular where I was on my own on Harriet, not with anybody else and it was just before sunset and that before it wasn't emotional, I was kind of just talking to people about what happened and this is that line of departure this and the other and on that one though that was quite an emotional spiritual moment I think because I was there on my own and I kind of reflected on what could have happened but what did happen but what could have happened and the other thing that's very bizarre is how horrendous the ground is and how we fought over that into defensive positions but the other thing that sticks in my mind how close everything was and you can find those rocks you can find those rocks and we took that guy out the sniper with the 84 and the other guys there's a flat rock that's still there I can see where I fired from where Jock is and the distance between where that flat rock was I always in my mind thought that's 100 meters probably no more than 20 and that massive firefight went on for ages in that period of time in that 20 meters with 7, 6, 2 rounds as well and a lot of them and then the other one as well is where that gully was where the guys got hit and this is really spooky so a lot of people do the battlefield tours there they're aware of that incident but they don't know where it is so I found that gully and a lot of the expert in the battlefield tours you lived down there and I showed them where it was but the spookiest thing with that is there is one hole in the grass right next to where I was that I was no more than probably 15 feet from that 15, 5 round how I wasn't killed was beyond me but I know why it is now and that is because one they had a problem with the detonators but the second thing is it landed in the only piece of boggy soggy ground in that whole thing if it had gone 2 inches to the left or right and struck rock it wouldn't have buried itself as far as it did but it buried itself into the ground and there's just one hole there it's the only shell hole in that gully and more spookily where the flat rock was that John Cougal was stood on top of putting the bivvy up for him and Franca and Neil the tube stripy to get a bit of shelter from the weather there is a row of 5 rocks in a line that is still there 35 years on it's never been touched you know it still made some motion now when I pointed that out to people those 5 rocks there have not been touched for 35 years that's what he was doing when he was hit help us up no words mate bloody hell bloody hell I feel like a spectator you know it's one thing to hear this story but to live through that it's the extremes of the human experience yeah it is and at the time when you're young you don't really think about it but we talk about it now the reunions I help run the reunions I run the reunions every 5 years before too and it's always the same conversations it was a unique experience but we were part of British and core history you know and at the very forefront of it I think I read somewhere that or it was worked out that actually out of the task force of I think was it 5,000 I think in total when the army arrived or whatever there was less than a thousand people pressing home attacks on the enemy you know actually closing with them no disrespect to anybody else they're all in danger they're all doing what they need to do actually planned closing with the enemy you know it's the same in every war there's only a small minority of people that do that so you know I feel honoured to have served with all of the guys in the task force I feel honoured to have served I think we achieved something absolutely amazing I think we did it at little cost and here's to lofty and smudge the two guys who didn't make it back from that group but fundamentally all the principles of the war the warfare we applied those and they worked and we achieved against great odds back on that trip it was the call 350th and I was very privileged to head it up so when I was showing those road rocks out to people there was a guy there called Jim Morris I don't even have to come across Jim so he does well fare so Jim's an ML as well and he was in 40 commander at the time and I don't know how true this is but we were for different parts of the call we were talking through and he left the call 350 and he sort of said to the group because we did two sisters we had people from four or five Harrier and Mount Kent and then that's what Jim said we were just down behind on the sound having come through Challenger and we were in reserve to come up to you and I was like I didn't realise that and he said yeah yeah and he had been told that somewhere between 50 and 70% casualties in the first wave and our company were expected to take somewhere around 40% casualties and then we would be coming in as a reserve and I kind of looked at him and I said is that true and he went yeah that's what we were told he said he was horrific figures and we were like he said watching the firepower coming down on you guys and fight we just thought there's no way that they're getting out of that life you know so I guess they'd never tell us that they would go up we probably still would have gone up because that was our job there's probably a good reason why they don't tell you things like that if that is true I don't know if it's true but I don't have no reason to disbelieve Jim when he said that to us and he was quite pointed about it but yeah and I think the other thing is you get a bit blasé about war weary the wrong word and I know this happens to guys in Afghanistan and things as well where the stress and the pressure is on so much you know you just become a bit flippant though when we moved from there down Harriet and we were advancing towards Sapa Hill and then towards Stanley I was on the right flank again you know number two on the gun and the rest of the section just stood looking at us and stopped and they were like don't move and we were like what so they did have a sign on this one with the minefield facing out but not so weak and see it and we were like really and Mick Eccles was like yeah you're in a minefield mate but we're in open ground and I said we can't wait here he said you know because we're in open ground if they open up on us so we're like right that's fine and it was just me and Mick was in there so I just had a quick conversation with Mick and I said right you stay 10 feet behind me they're antipersonal minds I'm going to pick my way through this and just walk out you follow exactly my footsteps that's what we did in any other circumstances you had not done that do you know what I mean but there wasn't any time to mess around just kind of like I wouldn't say I got flippant but I would say I was kind of like well I've survived all of this so far so I'm feeling pretty lucky you know cool hand-loop type stuff not that you are but so I knew the risk I was taking and I knew that I stood on something and I'd probably lose a leg let's just try not to and walk through it and Mick followed my footsteps so and we got out of it but it's a I think that happens to a lot of soldiers in lots of conflicts I think you do I think you get tired I think you get weary and you become a little bit accustomed to your own demise and you just sort of accept it that it is what it is and you take greater risks I think that's probably what it is I've certainly seen that in Afghanistan I'm not sure you have as well people getting into that mode so yeah my experience was Northern Ireland and yeah it's kind of funny really I got close enough to the rounds coming in to you know when I say that's enough for me I don't mean like it was too much I mean that I think in your career in the core I think if you think in the amount of people that come through the core percentage wise probably the vast majority don't see action or or see it quite limited or even if you're in combat don't get into a contact yeah but I've said this we're going to bore people but the chat behind me on patrol our tail end Charlie got shot three times and survived and you know you vote how close do you want to come to it and I remember on the last week of our tour in Belfast the ink come in that the IRA this is what we were told I'm not suggesting it was true but you know how the rumor mill goes around but it was that the IRA had Semtex in it every lamppost folks that I know they didn't but this is what and I remember on that last patrol I just walked down a white lines down a middle of the road I wasn't being blasé I was still you know you know zigzagging or trying a hard target but it's that last week or whatever the last few days you feel fucking glad to still be alive you know I don't know how tours were over the years but we lost Gilly in quite quickly on that tour yeah yeah brings it home to you it's real you know that could have been you all the families at home all they saw on the news is the Royal Marine has been killed in Belfast they didn't none of them knew whether that was their son their brother their husband their boyfriend their dad yeah but those last few days yeah you're just like fucking out I'm glad I'm still here but you get that I wouldn't say unprofessional blasé just what I guess what I'm trying to get to Molly is in that last week you're trying to do all the patrols you can you get out that gate more often when you think you'd want to like fill it in no it's like bang you wanted to be out there I enjoyed it yeah I think yeah I think you're right maybe it's more operational exposure you become more comfortable with it and just accept that that's part of your day to day life that nobody else in the civilian street would necessarily accept but that's your day to day decisions but you know that that point you said about families not knowing what what as an antidote to this the so my uncle but he was part of the family but not adopted but brought up by my grandmother so essentially my mother's brother so his name is Dave McDowell he's now sadly passed but he was in the long run for a long long time first Sartre major of five three nine really good guy but he was the LC liaison officer for one of the better wording three commander brigade HQ he followed my career closely and every time my mum knew all the dangerous stuff I was doing or joining the M.L.'s course or how I did on courses she got the scoop you do from him so he was a bit of a spy within so I had to be careful of him but he was obviously down in the Falklands in three commander HQ and promised my mum that he would keep me alive now how he was going to do that from three commander brigade HQ when I was in four two commander okay come I don't know but I speak in three years later and when the attacks on two sisters and Harriet went in he was looking at the casualty lesson the Killed in action the next morning and sadly on two two sisters Marine Gordon Clark McPherson was killed my little name was William Gordon Clark McPherson so you had two McPherson's with almost identical identical initials fighting on two sisters and Mount Harriet simultaneously on the sim night sadly he got killed but you can imagine when they saw the casualty list come out the next day that he saw that and he saw Marine GC McPherson that had been me that had been killed and I was going to tell my mother now he then realised he wasn't sure about the unit so he made a radio call and said is Marine McPherson four two still alive and was told yes saw him this morning he was still alive then Roger that thanks very much but I saw people years and years later back in the local pubs and they went to school and they just stand staring at me with their mouth open and I'd be like what's wrong with you they'd be like we thought you'd been killed in the forklift it was in the newspaper and I was like no it's not me that was another Marine McPherson on the same night so Molly did you did you make it into Port Stanley yes made it into Port Stanley very bizarre so we had been given orders and we moved up on the morning of the 14th we're out of ammunition no ammunition resupply and we were literally talking about how do you clear buildings and do fibia with bay nets because that's going to be a challenge and those discussions were happening at every level and then the white flag went up we were working out how to move in Paris come running down from the left-hand side literally running because they wanted to be the first ones in we were like fill your boots mate happy days and then we went in and then it was that bizarre relationship between Argentinians and coming across them as we were patrolling secure in our area loads of them fully armed and then you'd just both back off because although the surrender had been given the mechanics of how that was going to happen hadn't been sent down to the ground really so you'd both back off and look at that they did open up and then we ended up staying in that hangar the one with the famous picture with all the bullet holes and the shrapnel holes coming through and then we had to systemically go through all of us and clear the town that was the first thing and bit of highly high bizarre moments though you know so there was probably the funniest one was we were down in the dockyard because we moved towards the airport and the idea was to shove all the prisons towards that that's where we'd process and get them out so we were yomping along and the first one was going into different houses making sure the locals are alright and then we went into the shop it was like a village shop in Stanley and there was two guys in there in suits and suitcases and one of the locals behind the thing was doing the old eye rolling like that they were just behind us wearing their covered machine guns and we were like what and we went up to them and we said can we see your papers and stuff and it was just like the great escape you know when they're on the minibus or on the bus and he says thanks very much in English and the outing it was a bit like that and there were two Argentinian officers in civilian dress trying to do the great escape mode we were like that right get yourself get yourself up to the airport okay that's fine there's no other way off of this island and then the other one that was funny in retrospect as we got down towards one of the industrial areas massive big hangar and we cleared all the outbuilds and there was this massive grey hangar with those huge huge big doors like hydraulic doors that you open and I think we were really in the half section or six of us in the section and we weren't very many of us anyway tyres, doing them on and I can't remember it was like two of them got into this massive hangar door and started to pull it back and I don't know if you've ever opened one of those but when they start to move they like pick up a weight of their own on the grease rails so as it starts to open there's and it gets bigger and bigger and picks up steam with two blokes there's literally a company of Argentinian parrots with their red berries on not conscripts fully armed looking very angry right in front of us with this hangar we're like trying to get the door and push it back again now but of course it's got its momentum coming back and you can't stop it and then I think we're like we're just going to have to we're just going to have to cuff this one out so we were like I'll point to Wenzel and they're like as angry as you can as an 18 year old has been in battle thinking if they open up on us they could have probably just jumped all over us but they weren't happy disarming themselves that was for sure they were angry and they didn't look particularly happy but they complied we were just like look this is all over mate let's just call it a day and they were like but yeah that was funny that was like something to have a comedy movie and then they moved up and then we took it in turns once we cleared the town of processing the prisoners treated them as best as we could but the weather was bad we didn't have a lot of food or rations or anything for ourselves so it was pretty poor for both sides but we treated them with humility you know treated them with respect you know there's no animosity or anything there are certainly not from what I saw around the bootmechs stories from that I think that was sad dog handlers having to come up with their dogs war dogs which they probably loved those dogs we weren't going to get those back and feed them so we had to shoot them you know because they were a threat one guy, one me so what we do is we process and bring them on take their names and everything else we would strip them down of their weapons and everything else take their ammunition and make sure whatever they had on them was the essentials and the Geneva convention so something to keep warm food and everything like that there was one guy that turned up with a kit bag and he had the remains of his brother in there who had been killed that sticks in my mind that was quite sad and he got quite emotional because he thought we were going to take the button and we're like no we'll take you and your brother and we'll put this in a body bag we'll make sure that his remains go back with you and everything like that so you know I think there was a lot of humility and then around that there wasn't anything so Murray Bries there was a couple of guys that you know you think it's all over but it's not with these things so we were burning a lot of the rubbish and stuff because everything was just an absolute mess all over the place you know just even from a hygiene point of view and you know there was a couple of incidents so we had a big pile of weapons half of them were rusty you couldn't clear them and things and then there was a bonfire that we were burning anything that they didn't need that was on there you know to manage that so in the bonfire explosion went off as a round and we all ducked we were stood around it dealing with these prisoners and we all looked at each other and when anybody had been hit and the guy called Stacey had his hand on his neck and he went I think I'd been hit and we were like really we took see blood trickling out of his down his arm he took his hand away and he'd been nicked right in the junky Levain with seven six two round cleaned it up and it literally he had a scar I mean we still joke about it he's still got the scar and so he's gone now but he had the scar the shape of a bullet with a pointy bit on his neck for years from that talk about lucky and then the other guy was Murray Briers also became an ML they were all really good friends of mine because you make a bond in these circumstances at last the lifetime but we just finished our group on moving up Murray Briers was moving down with his again a grenade had been in the fire that had been cleared out and exploded and hit him and I turned around and legged it back with a couple of other guys and he was laid there and clearly hit ripped off his kit and he had the plastic sucking chest wound exactly like the videos used to be holes in there blood coming out but it was breathing and we were like oh this is just like the video and I remember thinking I know what to do here he's got an FFD let's use the plastic side out and strap it up so we did all of that gave him morphine now we all know you don't give morphine for chest injuries and things well I can tell you this down there mate you gave morphine for fricking everything because you didn't know how long it was going to be until you got Cassey back don't care what the doctors say so I gave him some morphine and I remember we were talking to him we had it under control we called him for a Cassey back had hand on the wound he sort of opened his eyes and he went I'm alright I can't remember if it was me or somebody else said yeah you're fine Murray it's alright Cassey back is on its way you've been hit but you're okay and he goes where have I been hit and I said I don't know if it's me or something I said oh you've got a sucking chest wound and he looked at it and he went oh that's alright then and then put his head back down as a morphine and that is literally what he said it makes me laugh to this day oh that's alright then okay yeah just sucking chest wound I'll be fine and yeah that was that was kind of it and then we got shipped out back on camera and I think that was remember we were waiting for the landing craft to come in and somebody got in the landing craft and it was one of the five nine guys who didn't know his name and as he got on the landing craft to head out somebody came down and went we got in the engineers here we found a bomb or an IED at the back of the school I think it was and he went yeah he said I am and he got killed by that when you were talking about that last patrol that's sad I can't remember his name I should do but I remember the incident thinking we heard later that he'd been killed trying to disarm it you know could have quite easily sat there and just been quiet and said yeah I'm not here but he didn't and the other sad the other sad thing was the follow on from that the guy I was talking about who we found on Mount Harriet had been injured and died three times on the mountain that night Steve Jake's I don't know if you remember being the 4-2 rating but the following year after the forklift was in Norway when two people froze to death the dock and the marine that was Steve Jake's so he survived that and then the following year in that horrendous blizzard he was one of the two guys that sadly froze to death and died in Norway how unfortunate and sad is that mate there's no words a lot of chaps died in Norway that was quite quite underrated the danger over there it's an extraordinarily dangerous place particularly if you're not prepared and you haven't got the right kit and the right training yeah the weather can the environment can get very dangerous there very quickly and the old carbon and oxide poisoning when people sleeping in the bvs sleeping in the bvs or 4-5 lost some in the tent snow holes wrong fuel not venting properly or using the wrong places yeah there's a lot of a lot of things on vehicle accidents the other thing in Norway that take a lot a lot of people down some sad accidents in the call with that where they've chipped over in horrendous mountain conditions but you know either been trapped in them or gone into a frozen river and drowned you know so they couldn't get them out of the vehicles and things just because of the terrain yeah it's considering I did 36 years in the Marines and did a lot of operations beside the Falklands and lots of training and stuff particularly as an ML considering what we do and how we do it and how dangerous it is the environment and the things that we're asked to do it just goes to show I'm always proud of the testament and how good the Royal Marines are because in any other workplace we probably have injuries hand over foot do we get injuries and things yes we do but considering what we've been asked to do actually when you look at it and the risk you're taking it's actually not saying any of it is acceptable but you know you're going to get injuries when you do what we do you're going to sometimes get people killed when we do what we do but we do absolutely everything we can to stop that from happening but sadly sometimes events set off a chain of events where things occur and sometimes it's unable to stop it and then tragedies do happen but there are few and far between you look how many people are doing how many dangerous things on a regular basis you know it's quite heart warming is the wrong word it's quite impressive from a professional point of view and I think that's because everybody takes their responsibilities and the Marines extraordinarily seriously from the individual themselves to each other as opposed but then from lance corporal up all the way through the ranks people don't cut corners they will always do the right thing at the right time to look out for everybody Molly tell us what was it like coming home well a bit of a blur on Canberra if I remember rightly two cans of beer which seem to go more than two cans of beer we're getting from I think that was important to decompress to reflect on things to put things into perspective had a lot of fun a lot of bonding a lot of shows the band were great they did a load of shows you know considering that they had been doing casualty relief and everything like that that was you know impressive I love the Royal Marines band and yeah and I think we were told that we were coming back in to the sound and that there'd be a few thousand people there to meet us but I don't think anybody believed that but when we went up on deck as we came around the Isle of Wight there was just thousands hundreds of thousands of people everywhere small boats and I just remember being gobsmacked actually you know I didn't think I thought I'd just been out and done my job didn't expect to do that level but that's just how I treated it I'm just coming back after doing my job whether it was Ireland or Norway or wherever so it was quite quite emotional when we were coming back and then of course we had to then jump on coaches head back down to Plymouth and every village you went to it just took for ages there was just thousands of people people jumping on coaches giving you a beer ladies jumping on and taking their tops off and flashing their boobs giving Marines at the front of the case I think I was at the back of the bus I wasn't very happy with that and then we headed back to Bicly just stunned really we would be there I think for a week or something doing admin and de-kitting but I think it was all done within hours and it was like just go on leave extended leave and then it was train strike was on so there's a train strike going on now but there was a train strike on when we came back so there was no trains and most of it didn't have cars in those days so we relied heavily on trains but there was no trains so I remember thumbing a lift and a guy picked me up and I can't remember was I rigged I think I must have been no I was in civvies but for some reason I think he must have known because I think lots of people doing this and he pulled over and he said you know what you're doing I said I'm just trying to thumb I'm just trying to get home and leave and then he was like have you been in the Falklands and I went yeah and he wasn't going anywhere near where I lived in Cambridger and he said I'll drive you there he said no I'm driving you back and I went okay I really appreciate it and then he dropped me off in Humtingdon and there's a pub there called The Eagle their friend used to go to school with Dad only so I was like right I'm going to The Eagle for a pint see what everybody's about and there was about four other marines that came from the same area we all went to school about the same time so particularly Andy Bish and Paul Humphre all in Facebook he'd just come up every stuff after a long transplant so and Gaya didn't really know him that well Kev Gaya or anything anyway we used to meet up there and leave so I thought they might be in as well they'd all been down the Falklands hoping the first man back will be bootnesting the pub and my dad came in and he was like we live in a village about six miles away and he was like and I'd already finished my beer and I said oh do you want a beer Dad? and he was like no no no he said we need to go and I was like eh I said I want to have a beer he said oh there's some beer back at the house and I was thinking well that's not very helpful you know after coming back and I was like okay then jumped in the car but of course as we drove into the village we drove up the drive to our house there was all the banners and the whole village were there party barbecue and that's why he wanted to get me there because everybody was there for a party and we had you know a great party but I have to say I kind of didn't enjoy that actually and although everybody was really happy to see me and stuff like that I took myself off probably about 10 o'clock with a bottle of whiskey and went and sat in my bedroom in the dark and just drank that for a couple of hours for a couple of hours didn't drink the whole bottle I wasn't in that mood largely but I just wanted to sit whiskey and reflect and I wasn't in a happy place I have to say I don't know why I wasn't in a bad place either but I just wanted to be alone because that makes sense sometimes you can get a bit too much frivolity I hadn't had really time to reflect on my own so I just wanted a bit of time to yeah just to reflect and be on my own I think sometimes I think that can be important and I've experienced that coming back from other options as well where people have planned parties and I've said explicitly said I don't want a party you know have a few friends around for a meal or something a couple of days later whatever and drinks but I'd rather just see the kids between our kids and things and just get back to normality and time to reflect and I don't know why I felt like that I didn't expect to but I did so that was a bit a bit odd and then that was fine and after a few hours went back out and a lady I spent most of my time in as a child is the best man at my wedding Francis Fran he very rarely drinks we had to cart her back home in the boot of a car because she was pissed as hell brilliant that was the funniest thing from that she never lived that down for the rest of her life I think she's in her 80s now she will be in her 80s same age as my dad but she had a thoroughly good time yeah those welcome back parties they must have been a funny because the public's massively they public's massively naive as to the realities of war aren't they that's why they keep fucking voting for wars they don't really, they don't get the mass you know mass trauma I remember watching a documentary on the telly I think it might have been a Matlow Navy officer or something they said they got back in a Pompey and it was walking along the promenade there he was like angry that people would eat in ice creams he's like how do you not know what we've been through do you you're smiling sitting on the grass eating ice creams do you not know what we've all just been through yeah yeah I don't think I ever felt like that I don't think I felt angry or I mean it's a bit you know I think I'm quite good at compartmentalising things but I think I've always been of the opinion that's the job, that's the career I chose that's what I chose to do with my life so actually when people want to enjoy life and freedom of speech and say what they want to see you know all this stuff are about woke this, woke that I don't really buy into it I think it's just a generational thing and I think people changed it would be a sad thing if we didn't change and what expectations were you know that was my choice to fight and put my life on the line to defend the country and defend that way of life I know that probably sounds a bit naive but I truly believe in that I truly believe in Queen and Country you know and I know other people don't that's fine, that's their choice I've fought to defend that choice you know please crack on I think where the only time I get irritated or annoyed is when and you've probably experienced this Chris I'm sure sometimes we found ourselves for whatever job or whatever reason we're doing and certainly in the 90s in parties and things in London with I think the best way of describing them is probably overly educated people with an opinion but no actual grasp on reality in life and you know I've been at parties where essentially I've been called a baby killer you know everybody down in the Forkins was conscripts and well that's not true and a conscript can kill you just as easily as someone else they forget that we were 18 years old you know some of them have even left school at 18 so you know that irritates me to some level because they seem to think because you're a serviceman that you clearly must be uneducated and you have no other choice in life but to do that and I've come across that quite a lot of times and that irritates me and I'm like you know it's a professional choice for a lot of people in the military don't get me wrong in some of the army regiments things there are people in that position but certainly in the Marines it is a career choice that people choose to do with their lives and there's a lot of very clever people in the Marines you know when I did that study I've got it written down some it's probably something like it was 87% I've got 5 GCSEs required to be an officer or more in the Corps that's not somebody who can't get a job somewhere else or go on to further education and there's a lot of people with degrees and a lot of people with A levels in the ranks not necessarily as an officer you know and I think that occurs equally speaking and during the Afghan years the amount of times that I used to have conversations with well educated people and well many people who said we're wasting our time in Helmand we're wasting our time in Afghanistan in this and the other and you know it's like every other conflict Molly if we just sat down and we just had conversations and spoke to them we could probably come to an understanding and I used to be like you have no idea of this what you're fighting do you and I used to tell them you've got no idea at all about this ideology that we're trying to deal with and I used to say to them if we gave way to them and the way they wanted to do it and they're not same Muslims but lots of friends are Muslims and I understand that religion and I'm happy with that but the ideological part the extremists I said they would line every single woman man and child in Great Britain of the length of VM6 on your hands and knees or behead and they wouldn't even bat an eyelid and I said and they go I think you're being exaggerating that I said I am not you have no idea of what it is we're trying to contain and what is we're trying to fight you know because you have an experience there and the reason you have an experience there is because people are fighting this in other parts of the world so you don't have to experience it but you shouldn't criticize it either you should educate yourself a bit more and do a bit more research and understanding of the issues before you start hassling me at a party frankly giving me your opinions Molly listen I'm acutely aware we've literally touched on about 5% of your career what rank did you leave the court at? Left as a major Wow so I got commissioned into so I did 20 years in the ranks and then I got commissioned in 2000 major and left 2016 so yeah wasn't something I saw wasn't something I chased some work and projects I did that other people said if you considered being an officer I said well not really and also saw saw some less than desirable decisions being made I never made a decision like that so I said well I'll give it a go it wasn't something I was desperate to pursue some people who go through the ranks will just keep going back and going back it's a bit like independence for Scotland keep going back until you get the answer you want so I said I'd give it one shot took it seriously prepped myself really well and I thought if I give it one shot if that's successful then great if it's not then I'm not going to keep pursuing it so I went and gave it one shot and obviously did enough to get through and get selected was one of the eight which was you know was great so but yeah it's yeah I mean I thought this was mainly about the falcons so it's falcons 40 that's why I concentrated on that but yeah it's you know I think you take what you learn through the history and the core with you my main reflection on the falcons and how young I was was when I was troop sergeant I was in 40's Recky and I'd done my seniors but that was the days where you waited for a year until you got promoted Op Hayden kicked off in Iraq and then I got pulled out of Recky troop with some of the other corporals who passed the same seniors in the unit told you've been promoted with immediate effect you're now leaving Recky going to Bravo company's troop sergeant and they didn't have a troop because we only had two troops in the company those days were shortage so through the night this myriad of bootnecks turned up from RMR from other units drivers all sorts including a troop officer who had just joined the unit we had 24 hours to put the troop together so once I got to know my friend Cook he was a troop officer brand new good guy but didn't really have a scoop of what was going on you could understand we're going in 24 hours we don't have an all back we don't have people so we spent the night interviewing these people coming up RMR Scotland what did you do in the RMR I did that everything was good that's a GPMG gun I saw but it literally went through that people SBS, RMR AE, RMR people coming from med troop to join those it was very surreal but anyway we formed this troop we kicked them out with weapons we got everything that needed to be done next day we're on a herk and as we're flying in to yeah Insulin gives it to him Turkey we stop off halfway when we get a message get pulled together by the OC we thought we were flying into Turkey then we drive across into Iraq however 4 or 5 have moved over to somewhere else and now we're going to fly into this other area around Saddam some of the policy and we're going to do a straight from the moment we land so as soon as we land troop officers on me we'll be in the first two blackhawks we're going to go and do a quick wrecking troop sergeants, get your guys get them bombed up, ammunition will be on there the blackhawks will be turning we will radio back and tell you a grid and be prepared to land we don't expect any opposition but the Iraqi forces which are the Saddam special guard are less than a K away so we're not quite sure how they're going to react now all of that is a bit like right Roger that okay this is taking a bit of a turn then I have an even war I didn't know these guys first names as a troop sergeant we haven't walked the ground in an all bat of how to even move and I was like Jesus right okay there's no cuff too tough but anyway when I went back and briefed the lads and everything else and the troop officer what was going to happen and I was thinking in my mind as you do all of these things you need to make this work and to look after the lads and make it a success remembering I was a 26 year old troop sergeant I was only 26 then and I was sat on the back of the herd as we're getting closer and being told well I've got about half an hour and I was passing notes to people to say you know make sure you do this and everything else and I sat there we didn't even have maps of the area we were going to get given that when we get there we couldn't even do a map record and I suddenly was just conscious on the back of this herd you know you get that feeling when people are looking at you and I looked up from my notebook and every single bloke including the troop officer was just sat staring at me and it was an eerie feeling and then I realised I am now Frank O'Neill Mick Eccles, Sharkey Warden, Steve Newland do you know what I mean when I was a 19 year old, 18 year old in the Falklands I am now that guy at the age of 26 where the troop officer and all the lads are just looking at me and they're relying on me to make the right decisions at the right time to keep them alive and that was a real sense of responsibility that's probably the time I've been most frightened when I realised that and then I thought I'm going to have to definitely be brave and leave from the front here now if something happens because they're going to expect me to lead these guys not saying the troop officer wouldn't but you know he'd just come out of training as well that's a great deal of responsibility at 26 trying to come to it with no match or anything else anyway there's another deer on top of that this evening funnier but we might have to do that for another day I was going to say like I said we've touched on 5% but let's keep it there because the problem these days Molly is when we were in lockdown people would watch like a free hour podcast they didn't you know no one was doing anything so it was the long they called long form podcast was really popular now of course people are like nipping the work they're doing something and they look at their phone and they go oh that's a great podcast oh it's free out I'll watch that later and what happens is that later never comes so we're better to keep this to what we've done I think it's a great tribute to everybody that served in the Falklands and and especially well not especially the Royal Marines but in our case you know it's great to hear about the core down there and big credit to you mate big credit for coming and telling your story big credit for surviving and big credit for putting up a scrap we'll we'll take the rest of your life in a part two Molly if that's okay you might want to split this one up into three parts then you can probably do that okay yeah I've got no I love doing this so that's absolutely not a problem there's no real credit to me I was just a naive well 19 because I was 18 just before we went down so I was 19 you know what I think I was 18 I was 19 when I came back I was 18 there you go you for today anyway yeah I don't take credit for that I didn't talk about this for years and years and years because nobody was particularly interested I don't think I'd speak to other bootmechs about it but that was about it but I think having read Sicklemore's book Tony's book and a few of the lads have said to me that somebody said to me just before the reunion you realise that we are further away from the Falklands war that we took part in than we were then than the Falklands war was from D-Day and when you put that into perspective you think that's quite so great but actually I think you're right I think a lot of these although we might have lived these stories I think they are important to capture and I've met been so fortunate to meet so many people from the commandos and D-Day particularly here on the Isle of Wight where I lived there was a lot of them still lived here and basically it sadly passed on now but listen to their stories I could listen to them for hours through all in bad D-App and things like that just phenomenal the things that they did but what is interesting is their fears aren't much different to what my fears were and every other boot max it's not about necessarily dying or fighting it's about being a failure and letting the rest of your lads down that's what stands out to me in all of this maybe that's about the training Yes I said this in a podcast I can't remember which bootnuck I was chatting to but there was a book written and it is the chat was talking about coming back from the Falklands and he's talking about all the camera coming in and all the razzmatazz and the people chucking beer on the buses and I was proud to go there I was proud to fight but most of all I was proud to be a Royal Marine and yeah for sure I think we've captured that tonight Molly thank you Thank you very much Chris I'll let you split it out to three groups Stay on the line so I can thank you properly but massive thanks again mate to everybody at home I hope you've been as engrossed as we have if you could like and subscribe that will really help the channel and we'll see you next time Thank you