 Let me see here, Tony Gaskins here. Just want to pop in for a little bit because I've been away. I've been just every day, been busy. It's just days been running together. And right now, I've been focusing on my health a little more, not that I have bad health, but I'm going to set me some new goals with my body. I'm 38, and I want to see all my abs again. And so I'm just challenging myself to lose some weight. I don't look bad. I don't feel bad, but I want to be better. And that's just something that I'm on, like not being comfortable being good. I want to be great, not being comfortable being mediocre. I want to be exceptional. So y'all got to forgive me. So what's been happening is I get up, and then I go do my workout. And then after doing my workout, I have something to do. I go to lunch with my wife, or go run some errands, or got this call, got that call. And then by the time I finish that, got to take my kids to practice. And then by the time I finish that, it's too late. So tonight, I was going to go live at 7.30 and tell y'all what happened. So here I am, I leave the house. I'm in the sprinter. I'm driving my son. So I'm driving the sprinter because when I get him to practice at 7.30, I was going to go live. Then I remember I had a coaching session with my client on my year coaching program at 7.30. But when I thought I drove an hour going to practice to take an hour and 20 minutes to get there, I thought I drove an hour. I'm on the final bridge. Wife texts me, practice got canceled. I say, these people didn't have me drive an hour. And then cancel practice. So I got to get off, go all the way down the bridge, get down there, turn around, drive back an hour. So I'm driving two hours. I don't get scheduled to be home till eight o'clock. My coaching session at 7.30. So I had him cancel the live, deleted what I said I was going to go live at 7.30 because I had a coaching session. But now I'm going to get home till eight. So I had to push my coaching session back to eight o'clock. No, 8.15. So now coach from 8.15 to 9.15. And y'all need to be reimbursed. I'm like, they need to give me a gas card. Like don't have me driving an hour here for this practice. Then y'all want to cancel it after I've been driving an hour. Like, come on now. Y'all need to check the weather. The weather, the weather is going to tell you what the weather is going to be. But they cancel, I guess, for lightening or something. But I'm like, come on now. The weather's already told y'all that. But that's the thing of being a parent. Y'all know to the parents, y'all know how it is. Sometimes we go out our way and we sacrifice for our kids. A lot of times they don't really realize that they're 30 years old. You know, they ain't gonna realize that they're 30 like us. We start to appreciate stuff later in life. So yeah, and in one no hour, it ends up being two hours. So I said, I want to pop in on here. And I did a video earlier today and I'm gonna get back to the talks with Tony, but I just haven't been able to sit down lately. And it hasn't been about being drained or anything like that. I just, days just been running together. I'm missing so many emails. So many people waiting on me to get back to them on email and just my days been running together. It's crazy to think about. I'm like, man, people work eight hours. I'm like, I work for myself and still can't get through these emails. So y'all forgive me. And I'm gonna try to do a little better. Try to do a little better. And I'm gonna try to crank these videos up. Every time I say that, I end up not doing it, but it got to be said in order to be done. So y'all be marking your calendars. My goal is to have a noon video, noon Eastern, that's 9 a.m. California. And have a 9 p.m. Eastern on most days. That's my goal. So y'all keep an eye out. You might have to put your notification on them. And so yeah, yesterday, oh, please. I mean, early the day I did a video about the situation with the OnlyFans model. And I need, now listen, I have never put that website on my computer or on my phone. That's an interesting little fact for y'all that a lot of people don't think like that or realize that. But I've never typed in the PRN hook or OnlyFans on my computer. And the reason why I've never typed it in is because I'm thinking about cookies or tracking or, you know, like them putting ads and stuff on my stuff from going to the site. So I've never went. And then I also don't want to go and see some that make me want to keep coming back to it. But I was kind of curious to go see the young lady to see what type of content she doing on there. If she like showing an outfit. So she doing a little mold. But this is becoming a, and y'all going to see this happen more often. This is going to be somewhat of a crisis in our community because we're in such a nasty society. So we're in a society where so much promiscuity is being promoted. So we got a lot of people promoting, you know, the toys, a lot of people promoting the three, the four, the swinging. So a lot of stuff getting promoted. The, you know, woman on woman, but not in a relationship, just for fun, just for the bed. So it's all this stuff getting promoted. And then it's a lot of men who got girlfriends who also dealing with them some men. It's a lot of that stuff going on. And what's happening is the reason why that's happening is because lust cannot be quenched. See, when you feel lust, lust gets stronger. So when somebody is promiscuous, it's only a matter of time before that promiscuity lead them to want to do more. And so when a woman is slept with 50 men, she then gonna wanna be with a woman. When a man is slept with 50 women, he then might wanna be with him a man. And now men are numbers higher. So for a man, it might be 500 women. And, but that's that promiscuity. It's the feeding of lust to where the normal get boring. And then you wanna do more cause it's boring, that the regular is boring. And we got to get comfortable being boring. We got to get comfortable being, you know, whatever it is. Because the rest of it will kill you. And see, this is what people don't understand. What we going through right now in this spiritual warfare is a, it's a tack on marriage right now. It's a tack on marriage. It's a tack on relationship spiritually, because that is the foundation of the family. And that's why all of us going through in our love life, whether you single or whether you in a relationship, everybody going through something spiritually in the love life, because that's to break down the family union. And so we have to be mindful of that. And we got to do what we got to do. And it comes a time, it comes a period of time where you got to suffer the wrong. So we have to get to the place to where it may not be serving us. It may not be beneficial to us. It may not feel good to us, but we got to stay in the fight if we know that we in a good fight. If you know you fighting a good fight, you got to keep fighting because the attack is meant to make you give up the fight. It's meant to make you throw in the towel. That's the reason of spiritual warfare. And this attack on the family, the attack on the relationship is to break us down. So what's happening, and it's happening on all kinds of ways because if you see where, you know, singles are starting to say, I don't need love, I don't need a relationship. That's still breaking down the family union. And then if you see where men are saying, you know, men and women saying this, then when they come together, they feel disposable, expendable, and they feel like the person they're with is expendable. And so they quit at the sign of any friction they quit. And they give it up. And the same with a marriage now. And so now there's this movement and I want y'all to know about this movement because I'm seeing it because I'm a man. So I'm seeing it this way. Now for the women, you're all going to see the other side of it, I'm not a woman. So I can't look through the eyes of a woman, but through the lens of a man, what I'm seeing that's very dangerous, that's happening is there's this movement of women. It's like fake empowerment. It's not real empowerment. See, you got to understand the way the adversary do. The adversary gonna package something that could blow up in your face in a Tiffany's box with a bow on it. The adversary ain't gonna put it in no C4 case, no red wooden case, what you know what's in there. The adversary gonna wrap it up. So like for instance, I've seen a TikTok, I'm gonna tell you just the fun side of it. So inspired, God bless you, I'm 32, single, no kid, never been married, good job, I'm a tractor, sister that's questionable. You ain't got no picture up there, okay? Five, four, and 135 pounder, a woman have to make six figures to get a high value man, not at all. Not at all, but y'all, but see, we got to start calling ourselves a tractor, a tractor now, because beauty and the eye are to behold them. So you might be a tractor to you. I can think I'm a tractor all day long, but if a woman don't think I'm a tractor, then I'm just a tractor by myself. You see what I mean? So I want y'all to take that out of your vocabulary about how you think you look and just focus on what type of person you be coming, how good of a person you are. Like just focus on that, cause we can't control what people think of our face because, and the reason why I'm telling y'all that is because I coach so many people who say, I'm a great catch. And I'd be like, well, I throw you back. And I would, if I hooked y'all would be taking you right off that hook, tossing you right back out there. You ain't no good catch. I'm like, to who? Listen, calm down now. Keep working on yourself, keep working on yourself. And so we just got to be more humble. Now listen to me. I've seen this TikTok. Now when y'all see me flowing like this in the spirit, y'all hold y'all questions. Cause that'd be the adversary trying to throw me off. I've seen this TikTok. The lady, she holding a, she got a, she got a desk on her shoulders. Now that I'm telling you this, you gon' see it. She got a desk on her shoulders. And on top of her head, it's like she up under the desk carrying it. Now it looked like Ikea, cause you know Ikea stuff, so raggedy, it probably weighed five pounds, but she moving the desk on top of her head, on top of her shoulders. And the caption say, 61 seconds after my husband told me he will help me move the desk in a minute. That right there is dangerous because what they trying to, what they trying to show. And it's this huge movement to women of you don't need a man, you don't need a man, you don't need a man. Like make your own money so that you don't need a man. Have your own job so that you don't need a man. Instead of it being have your own job, make your own money so that you are empowered as yourself so that you can shop when you wanna shop. So that you can pay whatever bills or whatever expenses you need to pay for you or your family. Instead of that, it's like have this so that you don't need a man. When you don't need a man for money, you need a man for love. You need a man for companionship. That's all you need a man for, but what the movement is, and the movement is started by bitter women. It started by women who upset with their marriage, who upset with their breakup, who upset with whatever. And they like forget men so they start these trends of fake women's empowerment. And then on the flip side, the men gonna do the same thing because now it's gonna become retaliation. So now it's gonna be the men gonna say, well, we don't need no woman. The men gonna say, what do I need a woman for? Cause the men gonna say, well, I can hire somebody to cook. I can hire somebody to sleep with. I can hire somebody to clean. I can hire somebody for this. And the men gonna devalue the woman. And then the woman gonna devalue the man. And then guess what? The household is broken down. The family unit is broken down. And that's right. That's the trick of the enemy. It's a trick from the adversary to break it down. And so I want you to start paying attention to this and be careful what you're saying to yourself. Be careful what you're saying to yourself. Be careful who you're listening to. See, oh God bless you. Thank you for joining. Yeah, everybody. That's why I say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everybody beautiful to somebody. Three years together and just caught message to escort random women. I think his cheating is a habit, thoughts. You write, you write. If that's how you feel, that's what it is because that's common. That is happening. And so what I want to tip, what I want to mention too, I'm glad you said that is we going into, not just how I told you about the women going into this don't need a man thing. And this, you know, do what you wanna do thing. And I'm seeing it like, I'm seeing a movement amongst wives, you know, wanting to have a endless bottomless bucket of women talking about a soft life. Listen, there's no such thing as a soft life in the literal sense of it. Cause any life that's soft on you mean it's hard on somebody else. So if my wife's life is soft, that mean my life hard. Meaning if I got to go out and work and bust my butt to have my wife a glamorous life that looked like a soft life, that mean I got a hard life. And if a woman says she got a soft life, that mean that's for Instagram. That mean that's for Instagram, cause life ain't soft, ain't nothing about life soft. So that's for online. And that's why people depress. That's why people going crazy. Because we comparing ourselves to everything online. We comparing ourselves to everything online. So listen, I looked up the soft life cause I heard about it and I'm seeing all this glamoricity, all this glamorosity, that calls money. That calls money. And that money is not soft. That money is hard to earn. So if you so caught up on a soft life, you either finna scam for it, or you finna slam for it, sham for it, or beg for it, but something finna be hard in order to create that soft. Something to be hard. Now I saw one lady say she got a soft life and she went to Target. So to each their own. I said, well, I don't know how soft that life is. Cause she went to Target and made a coffee at home. I'm like, well, that one too glamoristic, not that. Okay, that's a soft life, okay. But then I seen some other women talking about soft life and they went to Lulu Lemon or Red Seal. And this and that, and it was expensive stuff. So I said, okay, well, yo, okay, that's soft life. But who hard money is that? Is that your daddy hard money? Is that your husband hard money? Or is that your hard earned money? Cause money is hard earned. And yeah, you can get to a point where it's easy, but you had, so now I could work seven to 14 hours a week, but to get to where I'm at now, I had to work 70 to 80 hours a week. So now my family, they tease me. Oh, daddy doesn't do anything, but shoot a video and talk to people on the phone. It look easy. But they don't realize the countless hours that I was up grinding when my house is asleep. So yeah, it's soft nine, it's soft nine, but I had to work hard to get to that place. And so we have to be very careful about the misleading trends online because that, because when you going to work and you hate your job and you turn on the computer and all you're seeing is soft life, soft life, soft life, and you sitting there working your finger to the bone, that'll send you into depression. If you believe what you see, if you believe in what you're seeing, ain't nothing soft, ain't nothing soft. If it's soft, that means somebody had a hard earning. And if you believe in that, guess what? You're gonna struggle. You're gonna hate your life because you're gonna be like, oh man, I don't get to just wake up and just go shopping and just have coffee and just have avocado toast. And so my life is horrible and I hate my life because these women, they're just waking up and they going to Lululemon and they having avocado toast and they having caramel frappuccino. And you getting up and going and punching the clock, you're gonna be depressed if you believe what that woman's showing you. But that woman's showing you that cause it's going viral and cause she getting a check. So now, yes, she can have a soft life because she could post a soft lie and that soft lie gonna create a soft life. You see what I'm saying? Or that hard lie, I should say. Honestly Tony, this is why I had to stop listening to certain channels on YouTube cause I don't want to get to a mental place to where I dislike and devalue men. Hey, God bless you, God bless you. That's all it is. That's what's happening. Listen to me. I'm gonna tell y'all something. Listen to me. And this is what people are always talking about. People are like, oh, you know, oh, you know, oh. Tony Panner and the women, listen, I called everything right down the middle and I'm gonna tell y'all something. I've been talking to husbands. I just was talking to a husband. And what I'm hearing is so many husbands who are faithful, who are being vulnerable, who are being present. So many husbands are saying that they need more affection and they need more words of affirmation because I'm telling y'all, it is so hard being a good man in today's world because the good man does not get any praise. The good man does not get any respect because a good man gets ran over. A good man gets manipulated, used and abused. A good man gets taken for advantage and every good woman who is single says they want a good man until she gets a good man. And then when she gets a good man, human nature kicks in and she takes the good man for granted. And what I mean by that is a man who come home every night, a man who is faithful, a man who is loving, a man who is consistent, the woman starts to get complacent because that's human nature. And women will stop cooking or stop sleeping with the man, stop doing whatever and start seeking a thrill. Start just focusing on social media and everything that social media shows until everything about to fall apart. And then when the man about to be done, the man about to be lead, about lead then the woman will come and try to get it together. But we don't talk about that side of it. We just talk about the good woman who being taken advantage of, who being mistreated. But the thing about it is because there are voices of men who we are struggling, we struggling in our manhood, we struggling ourselves to grow and to heal and to develop. But because we share our wins and losses, we share our wins and lessons, we don't lose now. We share our wins and lessons because men are doing that, it is building more good men. More men are coming around to it and they come in to the point to say, let me be a better man. So men are trying to grow. But then when men try to grow, it typically what happens is when somebody growing, somebody slacking. When somebody is being exceptional, somebody's being mediocre because it's very rare do you have two people that's exceptional. And temptation is gonna come to that man. The grass gonna look greener on the other side. And vice versa. And we typically try to get it right when the person bought gone. And that's why we struggling and we failing. But this what I'm seeing today, this really happening, it's happening both ways. Cause you got to realize the adversary ain't gonna do the same thing forever. So when the adversary has been attacking the man for so long and getting the man to take a stupid pill and to do crazy stuff, after a while the adversary is gonna shift and start attacking the woman and start getting the woman to be greedy, money hungry, complacent, manipulative, whatever. And I tell, I tell men about this. And when I do coaching, I tell the offender, listen, you got to apologize, you got to admit your faults, you got to make changes and you got to be consistent. But I tell the person who was hurt, we won't call him or her a victim. I tell them, you got to make a choice if you're going to heal. And if you can't heal, if you're gonna be a constant victim, then you need to let the relationship go. If you can't put the past in the past and give space and room to grow without keep reminding a person of who they were yesterday. And yesterday means literally yesterday or last month or three months ago or six months ago, then you're hurting your relationship. Because if you keep throwing up the past in somebody's face, you could never grow. And that's what we struggling with in our relationships today. So what happens is, it's kind of like if a player in a sport is sitting on the bench and then they go to practice and they get hurt, they'll end up milking that injury so that they don't have to practice anymore. And they'll do that because they're not getting the reward of game time. The same thing happens in a relationship when somebody get hurt and then they start to see they partner start to working and doing better, the person who was hurt will stay injured because they like the attention that they're getting and they will milk that injury. And that's where it gets unfair. And then the person who's working and doing everything, trying to do better, trying to do right, that person will start to give up because they're like, listen, I'm doing everything right but you're not reciprocating. You're not loving me. You're not giving me a chance. And that's where the relationship breaks down. And then when the person is done and they say, listen, I tried. I tried to make up. I tried to do right. You wanna stay stuck in the past. I can't live a prisoner to the past. I'm letting go. And then the person wanted, no, no, don't go. And it's because they was milking it instead of saying, okay, you're gonna try. I'm gonna try. We're gonna leave the past behind us and we're gonna move forward together and we're gonna be stronger together and we're gonna be consistent. We're gonna be loyal. We're gonna be faithful. We're gonna keep our business in house. We're gonna live right and do the right thing. And that's what we need in our relationships today but that's not what we have. We typically have a mature person and an immature person. We got a scorn person who don't wanna heal and grow and we got somebody who trying to heal and grow. And see the thing is, there's a lot of times, and I heard somebody say this, but it probably been said by a million people, is a lot of times in a relationship, is we get addicted to the toxicity of a person to where when they're not being toxic, we don't have control and we don't have a narrative because when somebody is toxic, they controllable. You know, you got them because you got your hooks in them and you driving them crazy and you making them crazy and that's why they toxic because the relationship is just off and it's not that you doing it but when they start to change and grow, it's like you lose that. And sometimes people don't wanna see real growth and change. People don't wanna see someone who was codependent become interdependent because that codependency gives a sense of security. Like, oh, this person is codependent. They're never going anywhere. But when somebody becomes independent or interdependent, it's like, oh, this person can go out and see somebody and see something that is better and I could lose this person because now they're no longer blinded. They're no longer codependent. They no longer put me on a pedestal. They no longer drink my dirty bath water out of a straw. They no longer think I can do no wrong. Now they see me for who I am, a manipulator, a liar, a deceiver. And so this is what happens in our relationships and this is what we got to be mindful of. We got to be mindful of this so that we can understand what's going on in the spiritual realm and why the house is being broken down. And, oh, let me say what I was gonna say. What we have today, we got a lot of dirty Dengalang men. We got a lot of dirty Dengalang men. And so what we have is we got a lot of men who are what I call porn babies. And what I mean by that is when porn got online, it became easily accessible. So when it became easily accessible, when the nasty movies got on the dot-com now and then it got to a app, it became so nasty. It became so accessible that it became addicting. So what happened is men go into this fantasy world, men go into this on-demand world that they could turn on their computer screen or their phone screen and they could see two humans doing a private act publicly. And that is, that develops a spirit of barbarianism. That develops a spirit of voyeurism. That develops a spirit of Jezebel, of promiscuity. So it develops that spirit and by doing that, this man does not realize the real from the fake and some women struggle with this too. So understand something could just be inverted, but some women struggle with this too. So now this man does not realize that this is abnormal, that it is not normal as a human to watch other humans do a private act publicly. That's not normal. But in our society, that has been normalized. So when you have something that is abnormal, become normal, now the normal becomes abnormal. Listen to what I'm telling you. So when, thank you Aisha and let me talk, now y'all see I'm talking now, y'all keep wearing about a question now, y'all see the spirit on, on. So now listen, when the abnormal becomes normal, then the normal becomes abnormal. So when a man can go, or when a man or a woman can go and turn on a nasty movie and they can watch other humans, these are not robots, these are not actors, these are real humans do a private act publicly for their consumption. Now a man or a woman getting in a relationship and being with one person and being faithful and monogamous to this one person, which is normal, now that is seen as abnormal. And that's because we have become porn babies. And so now we cannot develop a relationship and a happy and healthy marriage because we are addicted to the abnormal. And that's why I don't dabble in it because I know it's addicting. I know it's all consuming. I know it would destroy your mind and it would then destroy your life because guess what? When you go to the abnormal, you're gonna see things that are abnormal. I heard a woman say, she on a podcast, she's like, you know, and these men with this six inch thing, they're all that think they're doing something and they don't realize that it gets way better than that. That there are things that are way bigger. There are things that are 10 inches and 12 inches. And it's like, as she said, have you seen the pornos? Have you seen those things? And it's like, ma'am, a porno is abnormal. So a man with an abnormal body part is going to do something that is abnormal like doing a private act publicly for other people to consume. So because he was born with a deformity, a 12 inch thing is a deformity. That's a deformity because if you ask a woman who has not been absolutely slaughtered, she will tell you, that ain't even comfortable. That's not even comfortable. And in a man, we know because your average woman don't need all of that, no 12 inch. So here you have abnormal people spreading abnormal lies saying that, oh, it's way better. And it's like, yeah, ma'am, cause you've been with 500 men. So now when the walls, it looks like that, yeah, you might want you a 12 incher, but the average woman don't want no 12. Where is that even going? I seen a doctor, a woman online say, the woman, the internal actually is three inches long. She say, so all is your extra, that ain't even scientifically needed. But when you done been out there, and you done been doing a lot, then yeah, your tolerance increases. Just like you went from one pill to two pills, went from one coffee to four coffees, went from one blunt, the five blunts. So now you know went from five, six inches to nine, 10 inches because of how much exercise you done had down there. You see what I'm saying? So, but we now are trying to normalize the abnormal. And that thing had me, that thing had me flabbergasted. So I went on Google, what is the average size? You know, thing. Cause I'm gonna be honest with you. As a man, sometimes the thing uncomfortable. Sometimes it's showing through your clothes. You can't get it to sit right. And I'm like, okay, I can't get this thing to sit right. What in the world am I gonna do with 12 inches? I'm gonna have to tuck that thing up and line it up through my cheek. Don't even make no sense. That thing got to lay down my shorts. If they ain't hanging out the shorts, the shorts only got a six inch seam. The shorts got a six inch seam, ma'am. So what you think a man finna do with a 12 inch thing? That man can't even do nothing. Cause it's like you can sit down on the toilet and thing touch the water. If you're 30, 12 inches, it's getting flushed down the toilet. It's like, come on now. What is we promoting? What are we promoting? We promoting barbarianism and trying to pass it off as normal. This is ridiculous. It's getting out of hand. It's getting out of hand. But see, this is the world we're living in where we take the sacrilegious, we take the demonic, we take the promiscuity and we try to normalize it. And that's what's breaking down the household. That's what's breaking down the family. And we got to be able to recognize this. We got to be able to recognize when we are acting abnormal. We got to be able to realize, you know what? This is not, this only make no sense. I'm sitting up here got this thing. I got this 12 inch toy. Y'all don't even got a 12 inch toy and you throwing your kitten out of place because somebody online said, that's normal. You don't rupture your kidney. You didn't mess up your spleen. Somebody told me you got to explore your body and you got to learn your body. Next thing you know, when you get married, you can't even be, you can't even be pleased with a human being because you didn't did so much exploring. Ain't nobody ever gonna be able to discover your body and figure your body out like you. But that's what they done told you to do. Test yourself, test yourself, test yourself, test yourself. That's not normal either. That's not normal either. Think about that now. Think about that. Them areas is for reproduction. So when we just focus on pleasure and we focus on us doing what we need to do to us, now we can't even appreciate the exploration and the intimacy with another human being because of what we done did. You see what I'm saying? And so this is what we got to understand. And see this, listen, the reason why the Lord called me, jazz, is you join as a member. Welcome to the Blessed Trial, Antoinette, welcome to the Blessed Trial. The reason why the Lord called me here to be a YouTube preacher is because we can't talk about this in church. We can't talk about this in the church. The pastor came to be up there on the pool pit, talking about the elders and all this help earned our only fans. The pastor ain't gonna be up there talking about that. He ain't gonna be able to talk about that cause he got kids in the audience too. The church might not have a children's church. So now you got this, you know, 12 years on it, they learn about the elders. So we have to be on here to talk about the real because the body is suffering and dealing with this stuff too. So you got to understand this now. So listen to me, today we got men and this women too now, but what I'm seeing is mostly men is going into a state of perversion. And so now men are trying to marry a porn star or trying to marry a stripper or trying to marry a only fan model, trying to marry somebody off a back page and then expect her to be a lady in the streets. And it's like, that's not where you found her from. If you pluck off a pole and she used to get thousands of dollars and then you come in trying to put on minimum wage, she might not be ready for that. She might not be ready for that transition. She might need a slow, gradual transition. If she been out there in the industry and she been dealing with five men a day, she might not be ready for one man. So we got men and then getting butt hurt. Oh, she cheated on me. Well, you plucked off a pole. Oh, she backstabbed me. Oh, she stole money from it. Yeah, you went and found a savage. You went and tried the tame of savage because of what you've been watching on that website because you said to yourself, if I get me an everyday woman, she's not gonna be willing to be flipped and tossed and choked out like this woman over here. So you're so focused on what you could do to this woman over here that you don't realize that sometimes all that don't go together. And see, this is the thing is you can't have it all. You can't have it all. See, sometimes when somebody go to compromise or somebody go to doing all that extra, that mean they're more willing to take risk in other areas. And that's what you've got to be careful of because you might be asking for somebody who would do this over here that is super adventurous, but then you want them to be conservative with money. And it don't go together. If somebody is super adventurous in that bedroom, they might be adventurous in other areas. It could be their fashion choices. It could be their money. It could be somewhere else. And then we get shocked when we say, oh, the person had no class or no self-management, no self-control in this area. But then we shocked when they don't have self-control in this other area. And it's like, you got to look at the character. You got to look at who you chose. And so what we have to realize is that love is not a fantasy. Love is not a fantasy. And relationship is not a fantasy. It is reality. And we got to be okay with the reality of human beings. And we got to understand that nothing is gonna be on demand. Nothing is gonna be eternally pleasing. Nothing is gonna be constantly pleasing. It's going to be work. It's going to be challenging. It's going to be sacrifices that have to be made in order for it to work. And that's what we got to realize. Now I'm gonna answer a few questions on here now. So if you posted your question, I've missed it, copy and paste it, put the hashtag Q. And then y'all see the man got the model and lost his life. That's what the book of Proverbs talk about. He went after lust. He went after fantasy. And then it ended up costing his life because the boring woman was too boring. The woman who's not risque is too boring. But then the adventurous woman, she'll stab you. And I hate to have to touch on this, you know? I hate to have to touch on this, but this very real life. This real life. And the reason why I got to touch on it right here and now because somebody, another man could be making that very mistake right now. Your brother, your uncle, your daddy, your cousin could be making that very mistake right now. Chasing adventure. Chasing a thrill. Chasing pleasure. I believe it was Zig Ziglar that says, pleasure does not lead to happiness. Pleasure leads to pain. So when you chasing something, you got to realize, as men, if a woman is willing to show her naked body to strangers, when we call this private areas, it's something going on. When you could take the private and make it public, it's something going on. So if something is going on, that's going to affect her in other areas in her life. It's not gonna be, oh, she just sleep with me and for money, but everything else is perfect. No, it's gonna be brokenness in other places. It's gonna be trauma in other places. That's gonna trickle into other places. So you can't pick and choose your struggle. You can't pick and choose and say, oh, well I'm gonna pick this woman who sell her body, but I'm gonna hope and pray that she faithful, loving, trustworthy, honest and all of that. She might be one out of a million, but nine out of 10, it's gonna be a flaw somewhere else. So you got to understand. You got to understand that. Let me see. Now, y'all, I just end the talk of relationship once I walked away, my ex said to me that I had plans to marry you. How should I respond to his nonsense? Just don't respond. Just keep it moving. That just a little hook to bring you back. A little hook to bring you back. Thank you, Tony and thanks for allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through you to the world. Blessing you and your family. Thank God, bless your little teacher. And y'all got to realize, this stuff what I be talking about this hard, because I got clients that strip us. I got clients that's in the porn industry. I got people on here that watch my YouTube video, that strip us. That's in the porn industry, men and women. And so when I'm talking about this stuff, they could feel attacked. They could feel whatever. I have to address the stuff in the spiritual. So this stuff hard for me to talk about is I'm talking about real things and it's dealing with real people. And I know everybody got a heart. I've been talking to a really great guy. I have no complaints about him, but I'm still in love with my ex, baby daddy of one year old. What should I do? You should not be in a relationship. If you're still in love with your ex, it's either you don't understand love, you haven't processed what your ex did to you. And if you're in love with somebody else, but dealing with somebody new, you plan with a heart because the man you're dealing with could fall for you. And then if your ex say he wants you back and then you drop this man like a bad habit, you don't know what that's gonna do to that man. That man could end up taking your life because you don't know where he act mentally. That man could end up taking your baby daddy life. So that's why I say heal before you deal. Don't play with a heart. So if you're still in love, wait till you fall out of love before you start dealing with somebody else. What is your advice on just making videos of your gift and passion, for example, fitness and doing nails while incorporating kingdom and motivating messages? I feel like I'm in my own way. You don't have to incorporate kingdom and motivation message. You're post doing the workouts. Post doing the workout, post doing the nails. And then after you build your audience, then you could sprinkle in your mindset. Then people ask you about your mindset. Then you could sprinkle it in, but your gift will make room for you. So use your gift first and then you can add on to it. Like we let Jay-Z make music. He made music about selling drugs and that made him a world renowned artist. Now we listen to him on business. Now we listen to him on family. Now we listen to him on branding, but we know him as a rapper who rapper by selling cocaine. And so that gift of being able to write bars made room for him not here a wise sage, a guru. And so use your gift to make the room for you then people to listen to you in other areas. Hey Tony, what are your thoughts on walking away from a job where your boss has asked you to change your personality so that others in the group don't feel uncomfortable around you? Well, you first need to think about is it your personality or is it immaturity? So you have to ask yourself, where am I operating from? Because if you operating from a place of insecurity and that's making you loud or if it's making you boisterous or if it's making you something else, then you need to address that. I've noticed that a lot of times we think it's an attack on us when really somebody may be asking us to mature. They may be asking us to grow up. And so I've seen that happen in my personal life with myself and with me trying to help others. And I felt attacked because I'm quiet on the introvert but really it's like me shaking hands and saying, hi, how are you? I'm Tony Gaskins. Me speaking to people when I walk up, that is maturity. It's not changing my personality because my personality is not really my personality. It's my thoughts of insecurity and inadequacy. So you first got to hear the critique and then see if it's justified and you got to be real with yourself. And now if it's not justified and you talk to a few different people who love you and gonna keep it real with you or somebody that's gonna be unbiased from my mentor.life, you get on there and go hire you a coach and that coach will tell you and just give you a real feedback from the outside looking in. And that's where you need to hear from so you could kind of talk through it. You could kind of talk through it and then, you know, that's a thing. Yup, Jasmine. So see that ain't a personality. That's an area you need to grow in cause you were introvert and then you blunt. And so you can't be quiet and mean and that's how I am. I'm introvert and then blunt. Blunt really mean rude. Blunt really mean distasteful. Blunt really mean not being tactful. So see, we got to address that and we got to learn to grow. And so, and the reason why I talk like this is because we so used to being coddled and we so used to being enabled because we'll go to our friends and family and they'll say, no, ain't nothing wrong with you. Tell that man, kiss your behind. Uh-uh, that's who you will. And yeah, lead that job. But no, sometimes we got to look at ourselves. We got to look within. Hey, I got about eight more minutes. Ember God bless you, I saw Ember pop up there. VD, welcome to the blessed trial. I'm starting to get upset and angry about black men saying black women are too masculine and difficult and are running to other races. How can I stop feeling hurt and disappointed? Well, you got to look at the source. See, I'm a black man and I'm not saying that. You listening to black boys. You listening to black grown boys. You're not listening to black men. You listening to broken mouthpieces. You listening to trauma talkers. You're not listening to men. You got to listen to men who are doing the work to be whole and to be healed and then listen to what men say. And when you hear and you recognize that this outlet is a grown boy, stop watching that podcast. Stop watching that YouTube. Stop talking to the old people at work. Run from those people. Take off because they work for the adversary. They work for the adversary. And the thing is they really don't even have experience with it. They really don't have experience with it because to me, as a man, black women is very forgiving. When you think about what black women put up with, what you got to realize is it's a lot of black men that still got a job today because of black women saving them. Thanks for the gym. Your talk changed my life, God bless you. Hey, God bless you. It's a lot of black men that still got a job and that have not been counseled because of black women saving them. Because of black women saving them. Because a black woman don't wanna tell about when he touched her when she was 15. When he touched her when she was four. When he beat on her, when he did it. It's a lot of black women that's protecting us. That's not a loud, unruly woman. And when a woman is loud and unruly, if you look within, you'll see the reason why. And you'll see that if you had to deal with what she had to deal with, you probably woulda took your life. And so that's what the grown boys don't do. They want a woman that's gonna coddle them. They want a woman that's gonna replace their mama, breast in their mouth. So they done had, they done been forced to take their mama, breast out their mouth and now they want a woman to put a breast in their mouth. And when that woman won't coddle them and let them do what they wanna do and run over her and she knows her worth, she loud and unruly and disrespectful. And then they run to another race and they praise that other race for what they don't realize is that other race may allow him to cheat on her, talk to her like whatever, do whatever he wanna do. But then she going and hopping on her another dandelion of her ex-boyfriend whereas a lot of black women will sit and live in pain and be faithful to a no good man and be in pain. And so that's what you have to realize and understand is you gotta look at the source who talking. And if you, once you realize the source is a boy cause a lot of men are saying this stuff ain't 25 yet. And some mom who's saying and ain't never had a real relationship. A lot of them ain't never been married, ain't never had a real relationship and really don't know what they talking about. They taking the stereotypes that have been placed in movies and in the media and they believing it for themselves. And they spreading that without even knowing what they talking about and really ain't never even really experienced that. You see what I'm saying? So we gotta understand that. Got about four more minutes. I'm looking for the put the hashtag Q before your question so I can see it. And if you ask a question and I answer it, let me answer the other ones for you post another question. Hi Tony, what exactly does it mean when someone says you're so outspoken? Is that another way of saying your blood and or rude and or rude or does it mean you use your voice? Well says it can mean both. It can mean both. It just depends on what you know. And we know ourselves. So you know if you rude and you know if you outspoken. So to be outspoken meaning you speaking from a place of love, you speaking from a place of peace, a place of joy, a place of happiness but you sharing what's on your mind. Now when you talking and you speaking from a place of bitterness, you speaking from a place of frustration or being jaded or pain. Now that's when it mean you rude and all the rest. Just broke up. He broke up with me before I did. Same day we were dating for marriage. I know you've said a man doesn't leave a woman. He think it's his wife. So I'm thinking no hoping for getting back together. Right, a man don't leave you if he think it's his wife. But if you dealing with a manipulated man or manipulative man then he could leave you just to train you, to teach you shut up and deal what I'm giving you on the lead. Some men will do that. So you got to understand sometimes that's a tactic to make you desperate, to real tossing. And what women got to stop doing is start waiting on a man. Start waiting on a man. If a man don't want to be in your life go on about your business. Go on about your business. I hear so many women, so many women. I've been called women that have paid for a coaching session to talk about a man from three years ago. That is unfathomable, unfathomable to me. It's a what? I'm like hold on a minute. You spent money to talk about a man from three years ago? Like what in the room? Like ma'am if you don't find a hobby if you don't find something to do and get off the phone I can't believe I didn't get your refund. Did you really call me to talk about somebody from three years ago, two years ago, one year ago, six months ago? Like what in the world is you doing? Write a book, start a company, lose some weight, gain some weight, learn how to cook, learn how to cook a different nationality food. Like do something. Get out here and do something now. Go get another degree. Do something, move on with your life. Cause when that man leave you that man move on. That man ain't sitting there thinking about you. That man ain't worrying about nothing you got going on. Stop associating a man leaving you with your self-worth. He could've left you cause you're too good for him. He could've left you cause you won't put up with everything. He could've left you cause he know he not on your level. Don't think that cause a man leave you all the time that that mean you is, you not worthy. Sometimes people don't want something that's better than them. Hey, I said I wouldn't be on his 60 minute cause I just been coaching for 60 minutes. And so I got to keep my word on here and I've been on here too long. Now what y'all got to do is set your notifications. And then if you're in a blessed tribe, I post on the community page when I'm gonna go live. And if you miss this, just scroll all the way back to the beginning and you get that message in you cause you need that message in you. And the course of the week, I got a course of the week on my, on Tony guysacademy.com is called income streams. Because rat nine, we broke and we're struggling. And so I did a little course called income streams or streams of income, I think it's called. And it was alive, but it's the replay. Make sure you go get that. Make sure you get that because what I'm seeing in the financial world right now, we need all we could get. So it's on Tony guysacademy.com get that in your life. Hey, God bless you and we'll talk soon. And A, and thank you to the moderators. Thank you to the moderators for helping moderate the chat. And God bless you and thank you to the new members who joined the blessed tribe. Y'all to see up under the video where it say join. So for you to be able to chat and get the notifications and get the video that's only post for blessed tribe or blessed business tribe members, you have to click that join button. But God bless y'all and we'll talk soon.