 Ruth chapter one. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Ruth by Elizabeth Gaskell. Chapter one. The Dressmaker's Apprentice at Work. There is an a-sized town in one of the eastern counties which was much distinguished by the Tudor sovereigns and in consequence of their favor and protection attained a degree of importance that surprises the modern traveler. A hundred years ago its appearance was that of picturesque grandeur. The old houses which were the temporary residents of such of the county families as contented themselves with the gayities of a provincial town crowded the streets and gave them the irregular but noble appearance yet to be seen in the cities of Belgium. The sides of the streets had a quaint richness from the effect of the gables and the stacks of chimneys which cut against the blue sky above while if the eye fell lower down the attention was arrested by all kinds of projections in the shape of Balcony and Oriole. It was amusing to see the infinite variety of windows that had been crammed into the walls long before Mr. Pitt's days of taxation. The streets below suffered from all these projections and advanced stories above. They were dark and ill paved with large round jolting pebbles and with no side path protected by curb stones. There were no lampposts for long winter nights and no regard was paid to the wants of the middle class who neither drove about in coaches of their own nor were carried by their own men in their own sedans into the very halls of their friends. The professional men and their wives, the shopkeepers and their spouses and all such people walked about at considerable peril both night and day. The broad unwieldy carriages hemmed them up against the houses in the narrow streets. The inhospitable houses projected their flights of steps almost into the carriageway forcing pedestrians again into the danger they had avoided for twenty or thirty paces. Then at night the only light was derived from the glaring flaring oil lamps hung above the doors of the more aristocratic mansions just allowing space for the passersby to become visible before they again disappeared into the darkness where it was no uncommon thing for robbers to be in waiting for their prey. The traditions of those bygone times even to the smallest social particular enable one to understand more clearly the circumstances which contributed to the formation of character. The daily life into which people are born and into which they are absorbed before they are well aware forms chains which only one in a hundred has moral strength enough to despise and to break when the right time comes when an inward necessity for independent individual action arises which is superior to all outward conventionalities. Therefore it is well to know what were the chains of daily domestic habit which were the natural leading strings of our forefathers before they learned to go alone. The picturesqueness of those ancient streets has departed now the Astleys the Dunstons the Waverhams names of power in that district go up duly to London in the season and have sold their residences in the county town fifty years ago or more and when the county town lost its attraction for the Astleys the Dunstons the Waverhams how could it be supposed that the Dumvills the Bexton's and the Wilds would continue to go and winter there in their second rate houses and with their increased expenditure so the grand old houses stood empty a while and then speculators ventured to purchase and to turn the deserted mansions into many smaller dwellings fitted for professional men or even bend your ear lower lest the shade of Marmaduke first Baron Waverham here into shops even that was not so very bad compared with the next innovation of the old glories the shopkeepers found out that the once fashionable street was dark and that the dingy light did not show off their goods to advantage the surgeon could not see to draw his patients teeth the lawyer had to ring for candles an hour earlier than he was accustomed to when living in a more plebeian street in short by mutual consent the whole front of one side of the street was pulled down and rebuilt in the flat mean unrelieved style of George the third the body of the houses was too solidly grand to submit to alteration so people were occasionally surprised after passing through a commonplace looking shop to find themselves at the foot of a grand carved oak and staircase lighted by a window of stained glass storied all over with armorial bearings up such a stair past such a window through which the moonlight fell on her her with a glory of many colors Ruth Hilton passed weirdly one January night now many years ago I call it night but strictly speaking it was morning two o'clock in the morning chimed forth the old bells of saint saviors and yet more than a dozen girls still sat in the room into which Ruth entered stitching away as if for very life not daring to gape or show any outward manifestation of sleepiness they only sighed a little when Ruth told mrs. Mason the hour of the night as the result of her errand for they knew that stay up late as they might the work hours of the very next day must begin at eight and their young limbs were very weary mrs. Mason worked away as hard as any of them but she was older and tougher and besides the gains were hers but even she perceived that some rest was needed young ladies there will be an interval allowed of half an hour ring the bell miss Sutton Martha shall bring you up some bread and cheese and beer you will be so good as to eat it standing away from the dresses and to have your hands washed ready for work when I return in half an hour she said once more very distinctly and then she left the room it was curious to watch the young girls as they instantaneously availed themselves of mrs. Mason's absence one fat particularly heavy-looking damsel laid her head on her folded arms and was asleep in a moment refusing to be waken for her share in the frugal supper but springing up with a frightened look at the sound of mrs. Mason's returning footstep even while it was still far off on the echoing stairs two or three others huddled over the scanty fireplace which with every possible economy of space and no attempt whatever at anything of grace or ornament was inserted in the slight flat looking wall that had been run up by the present owner of the property to portion off this division of the grand old drawing room of the mansion some employed the time in eating their bread and cheese with as measured an incessant emotion of the jaws and almost as stupidly placid an expression of countenance as you may see in cows ruminating in the first meadow you happen to pass some held up admiringly the beautiful ball dress in progress while others examined the effect backing from the object to be criticized in the true artistic manner others stretch themselves into all sorts of postures to relieve the weary muscles one or two gave vent to all the yawns coughs and sneezes that had been pent up so long in the presence of mrs. Mason but Ruth Hilton sprang to the large old window and pressed against it as a bird presses against the bars of its cage she put back the blind and gazed into the quiet moonlit night it was doubly light almost as much so as day for everything was covered with the deep snow which had been falling silently ever since the evening before the window was in a square recess the old strange little panes of glass had been replaced by those which gave more light a little distance off the feathery branches of a larch waved softly to and fro in the scarcely perceptible night breeze poor old large the time had been when it had stood in a pleasant lawn with the tender grass creeping caressingly up its very trunk but now the lawn was divided into yards and squalid back premises and the larch was pent up and girded about with flagstones the snow lake thick on its bows and now and then fell noiselessly down the old stables had been added to and altered into a dismal street of mean looking houses back to back with the ancient mansions and over all these changes from grandeur to squalor bent down the purple heavens with their unchanging splendor Ruth pressed her hot forehead against the cold glass and strained her aching eyes and gazing out on the lovely sky of a winter's night the impulse was strong upon her to snatch up a shawl and wrapping it round her head to Sally forth and enjoy the glory and time was when that impulse would have been instantly followed but now Ruth's eyes filled with tears and she stood quite still dreaming of the days that were gone someone touched her shoulder while her thoughts were far away remembering past January nights which had resembled this and were yet so different Ruth love whispered a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing come and have some supper you don't know yet how it helps one through the night one blow of the fresh air would do me more good said Ruth not such a night as this replied the other shivering at the very thought and why not such a night is this Jenny answered Ruth oh at home I have many a time run up the lane all the way to the mill just to see the icicles hang on the great wheel and when I was once out I could hardly find it in my heart to come in even to mother sitting by the fire even to mother she added in a low melancholy tone which had something of inexpressible sadness in it why Jenny said she rousing herself but not before her eyes were swimming in tears own now that you never saw those dismal hateful tumbled down old houses there look half so what shall I call them almost beautiful as they do now with that soft pure exquisite covering and if they're so improved think of what trees and grass and ivy must be on such a night as this Jenny could not be persuaded into admiring the winter's night which to her came only as a cold and dismal time when her cough was more troublesome and the pain in her side worse than usual but she put her arm round Ruth's neck and stood by her glad that the orphan apprentice who is not yet inured to the hardship of a dressmaker's work room should find so much to give her pleasure in such a common occurrence as a frosty night they remain deep in separate trains of thought till Mrs. Mason step was heard when each returned supperless but refreshed to her seat Ruth's place was the coldest and the darkest in the room although she liked it the best she had instinctively chosen it for the sake of the wall opposite to her on which was a remnant of the beauty of the old drawing room which must once have been magnificent to judge from the faded specimen left it was divided into panels of pale sea green picked out with white and gold and on these panels were painted were thrown with a careless triumphant hand of a master the most lovely wreaths of flowers profuse and luxuriant beyond description and so real looking that you could almost fancy you smelt their fragrance and heard the south wind go softly rustling in and out among the crimson roses the branches of purple and white lilac the floating golden Trestla Burnham bows besides these there was stately white lilies sacred to the Virgin Holly hawks Fraxinella monks hoods pansies prim roses every flower which blooms profusely in charming old fashioned country gardens was there depicted among its graceful foliage but not in the wild disorder in which I have enumerated them at the bottom of the panel lay a Holly branch whose stiff straightness was ornamented by a twining drapery of English ivy and mistletoe and winter aconite while down either side hung pendant garlands of spring and autumn flowers and crowning all came gorgeous summer with the sweet musk roses and the rich colored flowers of June and July surely manoir or whoever the dead and gone artist might be would have been gratified to know the pleasure his handiwork even in its wane had power to give to the heavy heart of a young girl for they conjured up visions of other sister flowers that grew and blossomed and withered away in her early home mrs. Mason was particularly desirous that her work women should exert themselves tonight for on the next the annual hunt ball was to take place it was the one gaiety of the town since the a size balls had been discontinued many were the dresses she had promised should be sent home without fail the next morning she had not let one slip through her fingers for fear if it did it might fall into the hands of the rival dressmaker who had just established herself in the very same street she determined to administer a gentle stimulant to the flagging spirits and with a little preliminary cough to attract attention she began i may as well inform you young ladies that i have been requested this year as on previous occasions to allow some of my young people to attend in the ante chamber of the assembly room with sandal ribbon pins and such little matters and to be ready to repair any accidental injury to the ladies dresses i shall send four of the most diligent she laid a marked emphasis on the last words but without much effect they were too sleepy to care for any of the pumps and vanities or indeed for any of the comforts of this world accepting one soul thing their beds mrs mason was a very worthy woman but like many other worthy women she had her foibles and one very natural to her calling was to pay an extreme regard to appearances accordingly she had already selected in her own mind the four girls who are most likely to do credit to the establishment and these were secretly determined upon although it was very well to promise the reward to the most diligent she was really not aware of the falseness of this conduct being an adept in that species of sophistry with which people persuade themselves that what they wish to do is right at last there was no resisting the evidence of weariness they were told to go to bed but even that welcome command was languidly obeyed slowly they folded up their work heavily they moved about until at length all was put away and they trooped up the wide dark staircase oh how shall i get through five years of these terrible nights in that close room and in the oppressive stillness which lets every sound of the thread be heard as it goes eternally backwards and forwards sobbed out ruth as she threw herself on her bed without even undressing herself ney ruth you know it won't be always as it has been tonight we often get to go to bed by ten o'clock and by and by you won't mind the closeness of the room you're worn out tonight or you would not have minded the sound of the needle i never hear it come let me unfasten you said jenny what is the use of undressing we must be up again and at work in three hours and in those three hours you may get a great deal of rest if you will but undress yourself and fairly coat to bed come love jenny's advice was not resisted but before ruth went to sleep she said oh i wish i was not so cross and impatient i don't think i used to be no i am sure not most new girls get impatient at first but it goes off and they don't care much for anything after a while poor child she's asleep already said jenny to herself she could not sleep or rest the tightness at her side was worse than usual she almost thought she ought to mention it in her letter's home but then she remembered the premium her father had struggled to pay and the large family younger than herself that had to be cared for and she determined to bear on and trust that when the warm weather came both the pain and the cough would go away she would be prudent about herself what was the matter with ruth she was crying in her sleep as if her heart would break such agitated slumber could be no rest so jenny awakened her ruth ruth oh jenny said ruth sitting up in bed and pushing back the masses of hair that were heating her forehead i thought i saw mama by the side of the bed coming as she used to do to see if i were asleep and comfortable and when i tried to take hold of her she went away and left me alone i don't know where so strange it was only a dream you know you'd been talking about her to me and you're feverish with sitting up late go to sleep again and i'll watch and wake in you if you seem uneasy but you'll be so tired oh dear dear ruth was asleep again even while she sighed morning came and though their rest had been short the girls arose refreshed miss Sutton miss Jennings miss Booth and miss Hilton you will see that you are ready to accompany me to the shire hall by eight o'clock one or two of the girls looked astonished but the majority having anticipated the selection and knowing from experience the unexpressed rule by which it was made received it with a sullen indifference which had become their feeling with regard to most events a deaden sense of life consequent upon their unnatural mode of existence their sedentary days and their frequent nights of late watching but to Ruth it was inexplicable she had yawned and loitered and looked off at the beautiful panel and lost herself in thoughts of home until she fully expected the reprimand which at any other time she would have been sure to receive and now to her surprise she was singled out as one of the most diligent much as she longed for the delight of seeing the noble shire hall the boast of the county and of catching glimpses of the dancers and hearing the band much as she longed for some variety to the dull monotonous life she was leading she could not feel happy to accept a privilege granted as she believed in ignorance of the real state of the case so she startled her companions by rising abruptly and going up to mrs mason who was finishing a dress which ought to have been sent home two hours before if you please mrs mason i was not one of the most diligent i am afraid i believe i was not diligent at all i was very tired and i could not help thinking and when i think i can't tend to my work she stopped believing she had sufficiently explained her meaning but mrs mason would not understand and did not wish for any further elucidation well my dear you must learn to think and work too or if you can't do both you must leave off thinking your guardian you know expects you to make great progress in your business and i am sure you won't disappoint him but that was not to the point ruth stood still an instant although mrs mason resumed her employment in a manner which anyone but a new girl would have known to be intelligible enough that she did not wish for any more conversation just then but as i was not diligent i ought not to go ma'am miss wood was far more industrious than i and many of the others tiresome girl muttered mrs mason i've half of mine to keep her at home for plaguing me so but looking up she was struck afresh with a remarkable beauty with which ruth possessed such a credit to the house with her waving outline of figure her striking face with dark eyebrows and dark lashes combined with auburn hair and a fair complexion no diligent or idle ruth hilton must appear tonight miss hilton said mrs mason with stiff dignity i am not accustomed as these young ladies can tell you to have my decisions questioned what i say i mean and i have my reasons so sit down if you please and take care and be ready by eight not a word more as she fancied she saw ruth again about to speak jenny you ought to have gone not me said ruth in no low voice to miss wood as she sat down by her ruth ruth i could not go if i might because of my cough i would rather give it up to you than anyone if it were mine to give and suppose it is then take the pleasure as my present and tell me every bit about it when you come home tonight well i shall take it in that way and not as if i'd earned it which i haven't so thank you you can't think how i shall enjoy it now i did work diligently for five minutes last night after i heard of it i wanted to go so much but i could not keep it up oh dear and i shall really hear a band and see the inside of that beautiful shire hall end of chapter one ruth chapter two this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox.org ruth by elizabeth gatzke chapter two ruth goes to the shire hall in due time that evening mrs mason collected her young ladies for an inspection of their appearance before proceeding to the shire hall her eager important hurried manner of summoning them was not unlike that of a hen clucking her chickens together and to judge from the close investigation they had to undergo it might have been thought that their part in the evening's performance was to be far more important than that of temporary ladies maids is that your best frock miss hilton asked mrs mason in a half dissatisfied tone turning ruth about for it was only her sunday black silk and was somewhat worn and shabby yes ma'am answered ruth quietly oh indeed then it will do still the half satisfied tone dress young lady you know is a very secondary consideration conduct is everything still miss hilton i think you should write and ask your guardian to send you some money for another gown i am sorry i did not think of it before i do not think he would send any if i wrote answered ruth in a low voice he was angry when i wanted a shawl when the cold weather set in mrs mason gave her a little push of dismissal and ruth fell into the ranks by her friend miss wood never mind ruthie you're prettier than any of them said a merry good-natured girl whose plainness excluded her from any of the envy of rivalry yes i know i am pretty said ruth sadly but i am sorry i have no better gown for this is very shabby i am ashamed of it myself and i can see mrs mason is twice as much ashamed i wish i need not go i did not know we should have to think about our own dress at all or i should not have wished to go never mind ruth said jenny you have been looked at now and mrs mason will soon be too busy to think about you and your gown did you hear ruth hilton say she knew she was pretty whispered one girl to another so loudly that ruth caught the words i could not help knowing answered she simply for many people have told me so at length these preliminaries were over and they were walking briskly through the frosty air the free motion was so inspiring that ruth almost danced along and quite forgot all about shabby gowns and grumbling guardians the shire hall was even more striking than she had expected the sides of the staircase were painted with figures that showed ghostly in the dim light for only their faces looked out of the dark dingy canvas with a strange fixed stare of expression the young milliners had to arrange their wares on tables in the ante room and make already before they could venture to peep into the hall room where the musicians were already tuning their instruments and where one or two chal women strange contrast with their dirty lucid tire and their incessant chatter to the grand echoes of the vaulted room were completing the dusting of benches and chairs they quitted the place as ruth and her companions entered they had talked lightly and merrily in the ante room but now their voices were hushed awed by the old magnificence of the vast apartment it was so large that objects showed dim at the further end as through a mist full length figures of county worthies hung around in all varieties of costume from the days of hallbine to the present time the lofty roof was indistinct for the lamps were not fully lighted yet while through the richly painted gothic window at one end the moonbeams fell many tinted on the floor and mocked with their vividness the struggles of the artificial light to illuminate its little sphere high above sounded the musicians fitfully trying some strain of which they were not certain then they stopped playing and talked and their voices sounded goblin like in their dark recess where candles were carried about in an uncertain wavering manner reminding ruth of the flickering zigzag motion of the will of the wisp suddenly the room sprang into the full blaze of light and ruth felt less impressed with its appearance and more willing to obey mrs. mason's sharp summons to her wandering flock than she had been when it was dim and mysterious they had presently enough to do in rendering offices of assistance to the ladies who thronged in and whose voices drowned all the muffled sound of the band ruth had longed so much to hear still if one pleasure was less another was greater than she had anticipated on condition of such a number of little observances that ruth thought mrs. mason would never have ended enumerating them they were allowed during the dances to stand at a side door and watch and what a beautiful sight it was floating away to that bounding music now far away like garlands of fairies now near and showing as lovely women with every ornament of graceful dress the elite of the county danston little caring whose eyes gazed and were dazzled outside all was cold and colorless and uniform one coating of snow over all but inside it was warm and glowing and vivid flowers scented the air and read the head and rested on the bosom as if it were mid-summer bright colors flashed on the eye and were gone and succeeded by others as lovely in the rapid movement of the dance smiles dimpled every face and low tones of happiness murmured indistinctly through the room in every pause of the music ruth did not care to separate figures that formed a joyous and brilliant whole it was enough to gaze and the dream of the happy smoothness of the lives in which such music and such profusion of flowers of jewels elegance of every description and beauty of all shapes and hues were everyday things she did not want to know who the people were although to hear a catalog of names seemed to be the great delight of most of her companions in fact the enumeration rather disturbed her and to avoid the shock of too rapid a descent into the commonplace world of miss smiths and mr. thompson's she returned to her post in the anti-room there she stood thinking or dreaming she was startled back to actual life by a voice close to her one of the dancing young ladies had met with a misfortune her dress of some gossamer material had been looped up by nosegaze of flowers and one of these had fallen off in the dance leaving her gown to trail to repair this she had begged her partner to bring her to the room where the assistants should have been none were there but Ruth shall I leave you ask the gentleman is my absence necessary oh no replied the lady a few stitches will set all to rights besides I dare not enter that room by myself so far she spoke sweetly and prettily but now she addressed Ruth make haste don't keep me an hour and her voice became cold and authoritative she was very pretty with long dark ringlets and sparkling black eyes these had struck Ruth in the hasty glance she had taken before she knelt down to her task she also saw that the gentleman was young and elegant oh that lovely girl up how I long to dance to it will it never be done what a frightful time you are taking and I'm dying to return in time for this galop by way of showing a pretty childlike impatience she began to beat time with her feet to the spirited air the band was playing Ruth could not darn the rent in her dress with this continual motion and she looked up to remonstrate as she threw her head back for this purpose she caught the eye of the gentleman who was standing by it was so expressive of amusement at the heirs and graces of his pretty partner that Ruth was infected by the feeling and had to bend her face down to conceal the smile that mantled there but not before he had seen it and not before his attention had been thereby drawn to consider the kneeling figure that habited in black up to the throat with the noble head bent down to the occupation in which she was engaged formed such a contrast to the flippin bright artificial girl who sat to be served with an air as haughty as a queen on her throne oh mr. Bellingham I'm ashamed to detain you so long I had no idea anyone could have spent so much time over a little tear no wonder mrs. mace and charges so much for dress making if her work women are so slow it was meant to be witty but mr. Bellingham looked grave he saw the scarlet color of annoyance flush to that beautiful cheek which was partially presented to him he took a candle from the table and held it so that Ruth had more light she did not look up to thank him for she felt ashamed that he should have seen the smile which she had caught from him I am sorry I have been so long man she said gently as she finished her work I was afraid it might tear out again if I did not do it carefully she rose I would rather have it torn than have missed that charming galop said the young lady shaking out her dress as a bird shakes its plumage shall we go mr. Bellingham looking up at him he was surprised that she gave no word or sign of thanks to the assistant he took up a camellia that someone had left on the table allow me miss dunce come to give this in your name to this young lady as thanks for her dexterous help oh of course said she Ruth received the flowers silently but with a grave modest motion of her head they had gone and she was once more alone presently her companions returned what was the matter with miss dunce come did she come here as they only her lace dress was torn and I mended it answered Ruth quickly did mr. Bellingham come with her they say he's going to be married to her did he come Ruth yes said Ruth and relapsed into silence mr. Bellingham danced on gaily and merrily through the night and fitted with miss dunce come as he thought good but he looked often to the side door where the milliner's apprentices stood and once he recognized the tall slight figure and the rich auburn hair of the girl in black and then his eyes sought for the camellia it was there snowy white in her bosom and he danced on more gaily than ever the cold gray dawn was drearily lighting up the streets when mrs. Mason and her company returned home the lamps were extinguished yet the shutters of the shops and dwelling houses were not opened all sounds had an echo unheard of by day one or two houseless beggars sat on doorsteps and shivering slept with heads bowed on their knees or resting against the cold hard support afforded by the wall Ruth felt as if a dream had melted away and she were once more in the actual world how long would it be even in the most favorable chance before she should again enter the shire hall or hear a band of music or even see again those bright happy people as much without any semblance of care or woe as if they belong to another race of beings had they ever to deny themselves a witch much less a want literally and figuratively their lives seem to wander through flowery pleasure paths here was cold biting midwinter for her and such as her for those poor beggars almost a season of death but to miss dunce come and her companions a happy merry time when flowers still bloomed and fires crackled and comforts and luxuries were piled around them like fairy gifts what did they know of the meaning of the word so terrific to the poor what was winter to them but Ruth fancied that Mr. Bellingham looked as if he could understand the feelings of those removed from him by circumstance and station he had drawn up the windows of his carriage it is true with a shutter Ruth then had been watching him yet she had no idea that any association made her camellia precious to her she believed it was solely on account of its exquisite beauty that she tended it so carefully she told Jenny every particular of its presentation with open straight looking eye and without the deepening of a shade of color was it not kind of him you can't think how nicely he did it just when I was a little bit mortified by her ungracious ways it was very nice indeed replied Jenny such a beautiful flower I wish it had some scent I wish it to be exactly as it is it is perfect so pure said Ruth almost clasping her treasure as she placed it in water who is Mr. Bellingham he is son to that Mrs. Bellingham of the priory for whom we made the gray satin police answer Jenny sleepily that was before my time said Ruth but there was no answer Jenny was asleep it was long before Ruth followed her example even on a winter day it was clear morning light that fell upon her face as she smiled in her slumber Jenny would not awaken her but watched her face with admiration it was so lovely in its happiness she's dreaming of last night thought Jenny it was true she was but one figure flitted more than all the rest through her visions he presented flower after flower to her in that baseless morning dream which was all too quickly ended the night before she had seen her dead mother in her sleep and she awakened weeping and now she dreamed of Mr. Bellingham and smiled and yet was this a more evil dream than the other the realities of life seem to cut more sharply against her heart than usual that morning the late hours of the proceeding nights and perhaps the excitement of the evening before had indisposed her to bear calmly the rubs and crosses which beset all mrs. Mason's young ladies at times for mrs. Mason though the first dressmaker in the county was human after all and suffered like her apprentices from the same causes that affected them this morning she was disposed to find fault with everything and everybody she seemed to have risen with a determination of putting the world and all that it contained her world at least to rights before night and abuses and negligence which had long passed unreproved or winked at were today to be dragged to light and sharply reprimanded nothing less than perfection would satisfy mrs. mason at such times she had her ideas of justice too but they were not divinely beautiful and true ideas they were something more resembling a grocers or t-dealers ideas of equal right a little overindulgence last night was to be balanced by a good deal of over severity today and this manner of rectifying previous errors fully satisfied her conscience ruth was not inclined for or capable of much extra exertion and it would have tasked all her powers to have pleased her superior the work room seemed filled with sharp calls miss hilton where have you put the blue persian whenever things are mislaid i know it has been miss hilton's evening for siding away miss hilton was going out last night so i offered to clear the work room for her i will find it directly ma'am answered one of the girls oh i am well aware of miss hilton's custom of shuffling off her duties upon anyone who can be induced to relieve her replied mrs. mason ruth reddened and tears sprang to her eyes but she was so conscious of the falsity of the accusation that she rebuked herself for being moved by it and raising her head gave a proud look round as if in appeal to her companions where's the skirt of lady pharnam's dress the flounce is not put on i am surprised may i asked to whom this work was entrusted yesterday inquired mrs. mason fixing her eyes on ruth i was to have done it but i made a mistake and had to undo it i am very sorry i might have guessed certainly there is little difficulty to be sure in discovering when work has been neglected or spoiled into whose hands it has fallen such were the speeches which fell to ruth's share on this day of all days when she was least fitted to bear them with equanimity in the afternoon it was necessary for mrs. mason to go a few miles into the country she left injunctions and orders and directions and prohibitions without end but at last she was gone and in the relief of her absence ruth laid her arms on the table and burying her head began to cry aloud with weak unchecked sobs don't cry miss hilton ruthie never mind the old dragon how will you bear on for five years if you don't spirit yourself up not to care a straw for what she says were some of the modes of comfort and sympathy administered by the young work women jenny with a wiser insight into the grievance and its remedy said suppose ruth goes out and instead of you fanny barton to do the errands the fresh air will do her good and you know you dislike the cold east winds while ruth says she enjoys frost and snow and all kinds of shivery weather fanny barton was a great sleepy-looking girl huddling over the fire no one's so willing as she to relinquish the walk on this bleak afternoon when the east wind blew keenly down the street drying up the very snow itself there was no temptation to come abroad for those who were not absolutely obliged to leave their warm rooms indeed the dusk hour showed that it was the usual tea time for the humble inhabitants of that part of the town through which ruth had to pass on her shopping expedition as she came to the high ground just above the river where the street sloped rapidly down to the bridge she saw the flat country beyond all covered with snow making the black dome of the cloud laden sky appear yet blacker as if the winter's night had never fairly gone away but had hovered on the edge of the world all through the short bleak day down by the bridge where there was a little shelving bank used as a landing place for any pleasure boats that could float on that shallow stream some children were playing and defying the cold one of them had got a large washing tub and with the use of a broken ore kept steering and pushing himself hither and thither in the little creek much to the admiration of his companions who stood gravely looking on immovable in their attentive observation of the hero although their faces were blue with cold and their hands crammed deep into their pockets with some faint hope of finding warmth there perhaps they feared that if they unpack themselves from their lumpy attitudes and began to move about the cruel wind would find its way into every cranny of their tattered dress they were all huddled up and still with eyes intent on the embryo sailor at last one little man envious of the reputation that his playfellow was acquiring by his daring called out all set be a cranny tom thou daren't go over yon black line in the water out into the real river of course the challenge was not to be refused and tom paddled away toward the dark line beyond which the river swept with smooth steady current ruth a child in years herself stood at the top of the declivity watching the adventurer but as unconscious of any danger as the group of children below at their playfellow success they broke through the calm gravity of observation into boisterous marks of applause clapping their hands and stamping their impatient little feet and shouting well done tom thou has done it rarely tom stood in childish dignity for a moment facing his admirers then in an instant his washing tub boat was whirled around and he lost his balance and fell out and both he and his boat were carried away slowly but surely by the strong full river which eternally moved onwards to the sea the children shrieked aloud with terror and ruth flew down to the little bay and far into its shallow waters before she felt how useless such an action was and that the sensible plan would have been to seek for efficient help hardly had this thought struck her when louder and sharper than the sullen roar of the stream that was ceaselessly and and unrelentingly flowing out on came the splash of a horse galloping through the water in which she was standing passed her like lightning down in the stream swimming along with the current a stooping rider an outstretched grasping arm a little life redeemed and a child saved to those who loved it ruth stood dizzy and sick with emotion while all this took place and when the rider turned the swimming horse and slowly breasted up the river to the landing place she recognized him as the mr. bellingham of the night before he carried the unconscious child across his horse the body hung in so lifeless a manner that ruth believed it was dead and her eyes were suddenly blinded with tears she waited back to the beach to the point toward which mr bellingham was directing his horse is he dead asked she stretching out her arms to receive the little fellow for she instinctively felt that the position in which he hung was not the most conducive to returning consciousness if indeed it would ever return i think not answered mr bellingham as he gave the child to her before springing off his horse is he your brother do you know who he is look said ruth who had sat down upon the ground the better to prop the poor lad his hand twitches he lives oh sir he lives whose boy is he to the people who came hurrying and gathering to the spot at the rumor of an accident he's old nellie brownson said they her grandson we must take him into a house directly said she is his home far off no no it's just close by one of you go for a doctor at once said mr bellingham authoritatively and bring him to the old woman's without delay you must not hold him any longer he continued speaking to ruth and remembering her face now for the first time your dress is dripping wet already here you fellow take him up you see but the child's hand had nervously clenched ruth's dress and she would not have him disturbed she carried her heavy burden very tenderly toward a mean little cottage indicated by the neighbors an old crippled woman was coming out of the door shaking all over with agitation dear heart said she he's the last of them all and he's gone before me nonsense said mr bellingham the boy is alive and likely to live but the old woman was helpless and hopeless and insisted on believing that her grandson was dead and dead he would have been if it had not been for ruth and one or two of the more sensible neighbors who under mr bellingham's directions bustled about and did all that was necessary until animation was restored what a confounded time those people are infetching the doctor said mr bellingham to ruth between whom and himself a sort of silent understanding had sprung up from the circumstances of there having been the only two besides mere children who had witnessed the accident and also the only two to whom a certain degree of cultivation had given the power of understanding each other's thoughts and even each other's words it takes so much to knock an idea into such stupid people's heads they stood gaping and asking which doctor they were to go for as if it signified whether it was brown or smith so long as he had his wits about him i have no more time to waste here either i was on the gallop when i caught sight of the lab and now he has fairly sobbed and opened his eyes i see no use in my staying in this stifling atmosphere may i trouble you with one thing will you be so good as to see that the little fellow has all that he wants if you'll allow me i'll leave you my purse continued he giving it to ruth who was only too glad to have this power entrusted to her of procuring one or two requisites which she had perceived to be wanted but she saw some gold between the network she did not like the charge of such riches i shall not want so much really sir one sovereign will be plenty more than enough may i take that out and i will give you back what is left of it when i see you again or perhaps i had better send it to you sir i think you had better keep it all at present oh what a horrid dirty place this is insufferable two minutes longer you must not stay here you'll be poisoned with this abominable air come toward the door i beg well if you think one sovereign will be enough i will take my purse only remember you apply to me if you think they want more they were standing at the door where someone was holding mr bellingham's horse ruth was looking at him with her earnest eyes mrs mason and her errands quite forgotten in the interest of the afternoon's event her whole thoughts bent upon rightly understanding and following out his wishes for the little boy's welfare and until now this had been the first object in his own mind but at this moment the strong perception of ruth's exceeding beauty came again upon him he almost lost the sense of what he was saying he was so startled with admiration the night before he had not seen her eyes and now they looked straight and innocently full at him grave earnest and deep but when she instinctively read the change in the expression of his countenance she dropped her large white veiling lids and he thought her face was lovelier still the irresistible impulse seized him to arrange matters so that he might see her again before long no said he i see it would be better that you should keep the purse many things may be wanted for the lad which we cannot calculate upon now if i remember rightly there are three sovereigns and some loose change i shall perhaps see you again in a few days when if there be any money left in the purse you can restore it to me oh yes sir said ruth alive to the magnitude of the wants to which she might have to administer and yet rather afraid of the responsibility implied in the possession of so much money is there any chance of my meeting you again in this house asked he i hope to come whenever i can sir but i must run in erin times and i don't know when my turn may be oh he did not fully understand this answer i should like to know how you think the boy is going on if it is not giving you too much trouble do you ever take walks not for walking sake sir well he said you go to church i suppose mrs mason does not keep you at work on sundays i trust oh no sir i go to church regularly then perhaps you will be so good as to tell me what church you go to and i will meet you there next sunday afternoon i go to st nicolas's sir i will take care and bring you word how the boy is and what the doctor they get and i will keep an account of the money i spend very well thank you remember i trust you he meant that he relied on her promise to meet him but ruth thought that he was referring to the responsibility of doing the best she could for the child he was going away when a fresh thought struck him and he turned back into the cottage once more and addressed ruth with half a smile on his countenance it seems rather strange but we have no one to introduce us my name is bellingham yours is ruth hilton sir she answered in a low voice for now that the conversation no real longer related to the boy she felt shy and restrained he held out his hand to shake hers and just as she gave it to him the old grandmother came tottering up to ask some question the interrogation jarred upon him and made him once more keenly alive to the closeness of the air and the squalor and dirt by which he was surrounded my good woman said he to nellie brownson could you not keep your place a little neater and cleaner it is more fit for pigs and human beings the air in this room is quite offensive in the dirt and filth is really disgraceful by this time he was mounted and bowing to ruth he rode away then the old woman's wrath broke out who may you be that knows no better manners than to come into a poor woman's house to abuse it fit for pigs indeed what do you call your fellow he is mr bellingham said ruth shocked at the old woman's apparent ingratitude it was he that rode into the water to save your grandson he would have been drowned but for mr bellingham i thought once they would both have been swept away by the current it was so strong the river is none so deep either the old woman said anxious to diminish as much as possible the obligation she was under to one who had offended her someone else would have saved him if this fine young spark had never been here he's an orphan and god watches over orphans they say i'd rather it had been anyone else as had picked him out than one who comes into a poor body's house only to abuse it he did not come in only to abuse it said ruth gently he came with little tom he only said it was not quite so clean as it might be what you're taking up the cry are you wait till you are an old woman like me crippled with rheumatism and a lad to see after like tom who is always in mud and isn't when he isn't in water and his food and mine to scrape together god knows we're often short and i do the best i can and water to fetch up that steep brow she stopped cough and ruth judiciously changed the subject and began to consult the old woman as to the wants of her grandson in which consultation they were soon assisted by the medical man when ruth had made one or two arrangements with a neighbor whom she asked to procure the most necessary things and had heard from the doctor that all would be right in a day or two she began to quake at the recollection of the length of time she had spent at nellie brownsons and to remember with some afrite the strict watch kept by mrs mason over her apprentices outgoings and incomings on working days she hurried off to the shops and tried to recall her wandering thoughts to the respective merits of pink and blue as a match to lilac found she had lost her patterns and went home with ill-chosen things and in a fit of despair at her own stupidity the truth was that the afternoon's adventure filled her mind only the figure of tom who is now safe and likely to do well was receding into the background and that of mr bellingham becoming more prominent than it had been his spirited and natural action of galloping into the water to save the child was magnified by ruth into the most heroic deed of daring his interest about the boy was tender thoughtful benevolence in her eyes and his careless liberality of money was fine generosity for she forgot that generosity implies some degree of self-denial she was gratified to by the power of dispensing comfort he had entrusted to her and was busy with al nascar visions of wise expenditure when the necessity of opening mrs mason's house door summoned her back into actual present life and the dread of an immediate scolding for this time however she was spared but spared for such a reason that she would have been thankful for some blame in preference to her impunity during her absence jenny's difficulty of breathing had suddenly become worse and the girls had on their own responsibility put her to bed and were standing around her in dismay when mrs mason's return home only a few minutes before ruth arrived flooded them back into the workroom and now all was confusion and hurry a doctor to be sent for a mind to be unburden of directions for a dress to a forewoman who was too ill to understand scoldings to be scattered with no illiberal hand amongst a group of frightened girls hardly sparing the poor invalid herself for her inopportune illness in the middle of all this turmoil roof crept quietly to her place with a heavy saddened heart at the indisposition of the gentle forewoman she would gladly have nursed jenny herself and often long to do it but she could not be spared hands unskillful in fine and delicate work would be well enough qualified to tend the sick until the mother arrived from home meanwhile extra diligence was required in the workroom and ruth found no opportunity of going to see little tom or to fulfill the plans for making him and his grandmother more comfortable which she had proposed to herself she regretted her rash promise to mr bellingham of attending to the little boy's welfare all that she could do was done by means of mrs mason's servant through whom she made inquiries and sent the necessary help the subject of jenny's illness was the prominent one in the house ruth told of her own adventure to be sure but when she was at the very crisis of the boys fallen to the river the more fresh and vivid interest of some tidings of jenny was brought into the room and ruth ceased almost blaming herself for caring for anything besides the question of life or death to be decided in that very house then a pale gentle looking woman was seen moving softly about and it was whispered that this was the mother come to nurse her child everybody liked her she was so sweet looking and gave so little trouble and seemed so patient and so thankful for any inquiries about her daughter whose illness it was understood although its severity was mitigated was likely to be long and tedious while all the feelings and thoughts relating to jenny were predominant sunday arrived mrs mason went to the accustomed visit to her father's making some little show of apology to mrs wood for leaving her and her daughter the apprentices dispersed to the various friends with whom they were in the habit of spending the day and ruth went to st. nicolas with a sorrowful heart depressed on account of jenny and self-reproachful at having rashly undertaken what she had been unable to perform as she came out of the church she was joined by mr bellingham she had half hoped that he might have forgotten the arrangement and yet she wished to relieve herself of her responsibility she knew his step behind her and the contending feelings made her heart beat hard and she longed to run away miss hillton i believe said he overtaking her and bowing forward so as to catch a sight of her rose red face how is our little sailor going on well i trust from the symptoms the other day i believe sir he is quite well now i am very sorry but i have not been able to go and see him i am so sorry i could not help it but i have got one or two things through another person i have put them down on this slip of paper and here's your purse sir for i am afraid i can do nothing more for him we have illness in the house and it makes us very busy ruth had been so much accustomed to blame of late that she almost anticipated some remonstrance or reproach now for not having fulfilled her promise better she little guessed that mr bellingham was far more busy trying to devise some excuse for meeting her again during the silence that succeeded her speech then displeased with her for not bringing a more particular account of the little boy in whom he had ceased to feel any interest she repeated after a minute's pause i am very sorry i have done so little sir oh yes i am sure you have done all you could it was thoughtless in me to add to your engagements he is displeased with me thought ruth for what he believes to have been neglect of the boy whose life he risked his own to save if i told all he would see that i couldn't not do more but i cannot tell him all the sorrows and worries that have taken up my time and yet i am tempted to give you another little commission if it is not taking up too much of your time and presuming too much on your good nature said he a bright idea having just struck him mrs mason lives in henwich place does she not my mother's ancestors lived there and once when the house was being repaired she took me in to show me the old place there was an old hunting piece painted on a panel over one of the chimney pieces the figures were portraits of my ancestors i have often thought i should like to purchase it if it still remained there can you ascertain this for me and bring me word next sunday oh yes sir said ruth glad that this commission was completely within her power to execute and anxious to make up for her previous seeming neglect i look directly i get home and ask mrs mason to write and let you know thank you said he only half satisfied i think perhaps however it might be as well not to trouble mrs mason about it you see it would compromise me and i am not quite determined to purchase the picture if you would ascertain whether the painting is there and tell me i would take a little time to reflect and afterwards i could apply to mrs mason myself very well sir i will see about it so they parted before the next sunday mrs wood had taken her daughter to her distant home to recruit in that quiet place ruth watched to down the street from an upper window and sighing deep and long returned to the workroom whence the warning voice and gentle wisdom had departed end of chapter two chapter three of ruth this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox dot org recording by synthie alliance ruth by elizabeth claghorn gaskell chapter three sunday at mrs mason's mr bellingham attended afternoon service at st nicklis's church the next sunday his thoughts had been far more occupied by ruth than hers by him although his appearance upon the scene of her life was more an event to her than it was to him he was puzzled by the impression she had produced on him though he did not in general analyze the nature of his feelings but simply enjoyed them with the delight which youth takes in experiencing new and strong emotion he was old compared to ruth but young as a man hardly three and twenty the fact of his being an only child had given him as it does to many a sort of inequality in those parts of the character which are usually formed by the number of years that a person has lived the unevenness of discipline to which only children are subjected the thwarting resulting from over anxiety the indiscreet indulgence arising from a love centered all in one object had been exaggerated in his education probably from the circumstance that his mother his only surviving parent had been similarly situated to himself he was already in possession of the comparatively small property he inherited from his father the estate on which his mother lived was her own and her income gave her the means of indulging or controlling him after he had grown to man's estate as her wayward disposition and her love of power prompted her had he been double dealing in his conduct towards her had he condescended to humor her in the least her passionate love for him would have induced her to strip herself of all her possessions to add to his dignity or happiness but although he felt the warmest affection for her the regardlessness which she had taught him by example perhaps more than by precept of the feelings of others was continually prompting him to do things that she for the time being resented as mortal affronts he would mimic the clergyman she's specially esteemed even to his very face he would refuse to visit her schools for months and months and when weird into going at last revenge himself by puzzling the children with the most ridiculous questions gravely put that he could imagine all these boyish tricks annoyed and irritated her far more than the accounts which reached her of more serious misdoings at college and in town of these grave offenses she never spoke of the smaller misdeeds she hardly ever ceased speaking still at times she had great influence over him and nothing delighted her more than to exercise it the submission of his will to hers was sure to be liberally rewarded for it gave her great happiness to extort from his indifference or his affection the concessions which she never sought by force of reason or by appeals to principle concessions which he frequently withheld solely for the sake of asserting his independence of her control she was anxious for him to marry miss duncombe she cared little or nothing about it it was time enough to be married ten years hence and so he was dawdling through some months of his life sometimes flirting with the nothing loth miss duncombe sometimes plaguing and sometimes delighting his mother at all times taking care to please himself when he first saw ruth hilton and a new passionate hearty feeling shot through his whole being he did not know why he was so fascinated by her she was very beautiful but he had seen many more agasseries calculated to set off the effect of their charms there was perhaps something bewitching in the union of the grace and loveliness of womanhood with a naivete simplicity and innocence of an intelligent child there was a spell in the shyness which made her avoid and shun all admiring approaches to acquaintance it would be an exquisite delight to attract and tame her wildness just as he had often allured and tamed the timid fawns in his mother's park by no overbold admiration or rash passionate word would he startle her and surely in time she might be induced to look upon him as a friend if not something nearer and dearer still in accordance with this determination he resisted the strong temptation of walking by her side the whole distance home after church he only received the intelligence she brought respecting the panel with thanks spoke a few words about the weather bowed and was gone ruth believed she should never see him again and in spite of sundry self-up braiding for her folly she could not help feeling as if her shadow were drawn over her existence for several days to come mrs mason was a widow and had to struggle for the sake of the six or seven children left dependent on her exertions thus there was some reason and great excuse for the pinching economy which regulated her household affairs on sundays she chose to conclude that all her apprentices had friends who would be glad to see them to dinner and give them a welcome reception for the remainder of the day while she and those of her children who are not at school went to spend the day at her father's house several miles out of the town accordingly no dinner was cooked on sundays for the young work women no fires were lighted in any of the rooms to which they had access on this morning they breakfasted in mrs mason's own parlor after which the room was closed against them through the day by some understood though unspoken prohibition what became of such as ruth who had no home and no friends in that large populous desolate town she had hitherto commissioned the servant who went to market on saturdays for the family to buy her a bun or biscuit where on she made her fasting dinner in the deserted work room sitting in her walking dress to keep off the cold which clung to her in spite of the shawl and bonnet then she would sit at the window looking out on the dreary prospect till her eyes were often blinded by tears and partly to shake off thoughts and recollections the indulgence in which she felt to be productive of no good and partly to have some ideas to dwell upon during the coming week beyond those suggested by the constant view of the same room she would carry her bible and place herself upon the windows seat on the wide landing which commanded the street in front of the house from thence she could see the irregular grandeur of the place she caught a view of the gray church tower rising hoary and massive into midair she saw one or two figures loiter along on the sunny side of the street in all the enjoyment of their fine clothes and sunday leisure and she imagined histories for them and tried to picture to herself their homes and their daily doings and before long the bells swung heavily in the church tower and struck out with musical clang the first summons to afternoon church after church was over she used to return home to the same window seat and watch till the winter twilight was over and gone and the stars came out over the black masses of houses and then she would steal down to ask for a candle as a companion to her in the deserted workroom occasionally the servant would bring her up some tea but of late ruth had declined taking any as she had discovered she was robbing the kindhearted creature of part of the small provision left out for her by mrs mason she sat on hungry and cold trying to read her bible and to think the old holy thoughts which had been her childish meditations at her mother's knee until one after another the apprentices returned weary with their day's enjoyment and their weeks late watching too weary to make her in any way a partaker of their pleasure by entering into details of the manner in which they had spent their day and last of all mrs mason returned and summoning her young people once more into the parlor she read a prayer before dismissing them to bed she always expected to find them all in the house when she came home but asked no questions as to their proceedings through the day perhaps because she dreaded to hear that one or two had occasionally nowhere to go and that it would be sometimes necessary to order a sunday's dinner and leave a lighted fire on that day for five months ruth had been an inmate at mrs mason's and such had been the regular order of the sundays while the four women stayed there it is true she was ever ready to give ruth the little variety of hearing of recreations in which she was no partaker and however tired jenny might be at night she had ever some sympathy to bestow on ruth for the dull length of day she had passed after her departure the monotonous idleness of the sunday seemed worse to bear than the incessant labor of the workdays until the time came when it seemed to be a recognized hope in her mind that on sunday afternoons she should see mr bellingham and hear a few words from him as from a friend who took an interest in her thoughts and proceedings during the past week ruth's mother had been the daughter of a poor curate in norfolk and early left without parents or home she was thankful to marry a respectable farmer a good deal older than herself after their marriage however everything seemed to go wrong mrs hilton fell into a delicate state of health and was unable to bestow the ever-watchful attention to domestic affairs so requisite in a farmer's wife her husband had a series of misfortunes of a more important kind than the death of a whole brood of turkeys from getting among the nettles or the year of bad jesus spoiled by a careless dairy maid which were the consequences so the neighbors said of mr hilton's mistake in marrying a delicate fine lady his crops failed his horses died his barn took fire in short if he had been in any way a remarkable character one might have supposed him to be the object of an avenging fate so successive were the evils which pursued him but as he was only a somewhat commonplace farmer i believe we must attribute his calamities to someone in his character of the one quality required to act as keystone to many excellences while his wife lived all worldly misfortunes seemed as nothing to him her strong sense and lively faculty of hope upheld him from despair her sympathy was always ready and the invalid's room had an atmosphere of peace and encouragement which affected all who entered it but when ruth was about twelve one morning in the busy hay time mrs hilton was left alone for some hours this had often happened before nor had she seemed weaker than usual when they had gone forth to the field but on their return with merry voices to fetch the dinner prepared for the haymakers they found an unusual silence brooding over the house no low voice called out gently to welcome them and ask after the day's progress and on entering the little parlor which was called mrs hilton's and was sacred to her they found her lying dead on her accustomed sofa quite calm and peaceful she lay there had been no struggle at last the struggle was for the survivors and one sank under it her husband did not make much ado at first at least not an outward show her memory seemed to keep in check all external violence of grief but day by day dating from his wife's death his mental powers decreased he was still a hail-looking elderly man and his bodily health appeared as good as ever but he sat for hours in his easy chair looking into the fire not moving nor speaking unless when it was absolutely necessary to answer repeated questions if ruth with coaxings and dragings induced him to come out with her he went with measured steps around his fields his head bent to the ground with the same abstracted unseeing look never smiling never changing the expression of his face not even to one of deeper sadness when anything occurred which might be supposed to remind him of his dead wife but in this abstraction from all outward things his worldly affairs went even lower down he paid money away or received it as if it had been so much water the gold mines of potosi could not have touched the deep grief of his soul but god in his mercy knew the sure bomb and sent the beautiful messenger to take the weary one home after his death the creditors were the chief people who appeared to take any interest in the affairs and it seemed strange to ruth to see people whom she scarcely knew examining and touching all that she had been accustomed to consider as precious and sacred her father had made his will at her birth with the pride of newly and late acquired paternity he had considered the office of guardian to his little darling as one which would have been an additional honor to the lord lieutenant of the county but as he had not the pleasure of his lordship's acquaintance he selected the person of most consequence among those whom he did know not any very ambitious appointment in those days of comparative prosperity but certainly the flourishing molster of skelton was a little surprised when fifteen years later he learned that he was executor to a will bequeathing many vanished hundreds of pounds and a guardian to a young girl whom he could not remember ever to have seen he was a sensible hard headed man of the world having a very fair proportion of conscience as consciences go indeed perhaps more than many people for he had some ideas of duty extending to the circle beyond his own family and did not as some would have done decline acting all together but speedily summoned the creditors examined into the accounts sold up the farming stock and discharged all the debts paid about 80 pounds into the skelton bank for a week while he inquired for a situation or apprenticeship of some kind for poor heartbroken Ruth heard of mrs. mason's arranged all with her in two short conversations drove over for Ruth in his gig waited while she and the old servant packed up her clothes and grew very impatient while she ran with her eyes streaming with tears round the garden tearing off in a passion of love whole boughs of favorite china and damask roses late flowering against the casement window of what had been her mother's room when she took her seat in the gig she was little able even if she had been inclined to profit by her guardians lectures on economy and self-reliance but she was quiet and silent looking forward with longing to the night time when in her bedroom she might give way to all her passionate sorrow at being wrenched from the home where she had lived with her parents in that utter absence of any anticipation of change which is either the blessing or the curse of childhood but at night there were four other girls in her room and she could not cry before them she watched and waited till one by one they dropped off to sleep and then she buried her face in the pillow and shook with sobbing grief and then she paused to conjure up with fond luxuriance every recollection of the happy days so little valued in their uneventful peace while they lasted so passionately regretted when once gone forever to remember every look and word of the dear mother and to moan afresh over the change caused by her death the first clouding in of Ruth's day of life it was Jenny's sympathy on this first night when awakened by Ruth's irrepressible agony that had made the bond between them but Ruth's loving disposition continually sending forth fibers in search of nutriment found no other object for regard among those of her daily life to compensate for the want of natural ties but almost insensibly Jenny's place in Ruth's heart was filled up there was someone who listened with tender interest to all her little revelations who questioned her about her early days of happiness and in return spoke of his own childhood not so golden in reality as Ruth's but more dazzling when recounted with stories of the beautiful cream colored arabian pony and the old picture gallery in the house and avenues and terraces and fountains in the garden for Ruth to paint with all the vividness of imagination as scenery and background for the figure which was growing by slow degrees most prominent in her thought it must not be supposed that this was affected all at once though the intermediate stages have been passed over on Sunday Mr. Bellingham only spoke to her to receive the information about the panel nor did he come to st. Nicholas's the next nor yet the following Sunday but the third he walked by her side a little way and seeing her annoyance he left her and then she wished for him back again and found the day very dreary and wondered why a strange undefined feeling had made her imagine she was doing wrong in walking alongside of one so kind and good as Mr. Bellingham it had been very foolish of her to be self-conscious all the time and if ever he spoke to her again she would not think of what people might say but enjoy the pleasure which his kind words and evident interest in her might give then she thought it was very likely he would never notice her again for she knew she had been very rude with her short answer it was very provoking that she had behaved so rudely she would be 16 in another month and she was still childish and awkward thus she lectured herself after parting with Mr. Bellingham and the consequence was that on the following Sunday she was 10 times as blushing and conscious and Mr. Bellingham thought 10 times more beautiful than ever he suggested that instead of going straight home through high street she should take the round by the lisos at first she declined but then suddenly wondering and questioning herself why she refused a thing which was as far as reason and knowledge her knowledge went so innocent and which was certainly so tempting and pleasant she agreed to go the round and when she was once in the meadows that skirted the town she forgot all doubt and awkwardness nay almost forgot the presence of Mr. Bellingham in her delight at the new tender beauty of an early spring day in February among the last year's brown ruins heaped together by the wind in the hedgerows she found the fresh green crinkled leaves and pale star like flowers of the prim roses here and there a golden selen dine made brilliant the sides of the little brook that full of water in February Phil Dyke bubbled along by the side of the path the sun was low in the horizon and once when they came to a higher part of the lisos Ruth burst into an exclamation of delight at the evening glory of mellow light which was in the sky behind the purple distance while the brown leafless woods in the foreground derived an almost metallic luster from the golden mist and haze of sunset it was but three quarters of a mile round by the meadows but somehow it took them an hour to walk it Ruth turned to thank Mr. Bellingham for his kindness in taking her home by this beautiful way but his look of admiration at her glowing animated face made her suddenly silent and hardly wishing him goodbye she quickly entered the house with a beating happy agitated heart how strange it is she thought that evening that i should feel as if this charming afternoon's walk were somehow not exactly wrong but yet as if it were not right why can it be i am not defrauding mrs mason of any of her time that i know would be wrong i am left to go where i like on sundays i have been to church so it can't be because i have missed doing my duty if i had gone this walk with jenny i wonder whether i should have felt as i do now there must be something wrong in me myself to feel so guilty when i have done nothing which is not right and yet i can thank god for the happiness i have had in this charming spring walk which dear mama used to say was a sign when pleasures were innocent and good for us she was not conscious as yet that mr bellingham's presence had added any charm to the ramble and when she might have become aware of this as week after week sunday after sunday loitering ramble after loitering ramble succeeded each other she was too much absorbed with one set of thoughts to have much inclination for self questioning tell me everything ruth as you would to a brother let me help you if i can in your difficulties he said to her one afternoon and he really did try to understand and to realize how an insignificant and poultry person like mason the dressmaker could be an object of dread and regarded as a person having authority by ruth he flamed up with indignation when by way of impressing him with mrs mason's power and consequence ruth spoke of some instance of the effects of her employer's displeasure he declared his mother should never have a gown made again by such a tyrant such a mrs brown rig that he would prevent all his acquaintances from going to such a cruel dressmaker till ruth was alarmed at threatened consequences of her one-sided account and pleaded for mrs mason as earnestly as if a young man's menace of this description were likely to be literally fulfilled indeed sir i have been very wrong if you please sir don't be so angry she's often very good to us and it is only sometimes she goes into a passion and we are very provoking i dare say i know i am for one i have often to undo my work and you can't think how it spoils anything particularly silk to be unpicked and mrs mason has to bear all the blame oh i am sorry i said anything about it don't speak to your mother about it pray sir mrs mason thinks so much of mrs bellingham's custom well i won't this time recollecting that there might be some awkwardness in accounting to his mother for the means by which he had obtained his very correct information as to what passed in mrs mason's work room but if she ever does so again i'll not answer for myself i will take care and not tell again sir said ruth in a low voice nay ruth you are not going to have secrets from me are you don't you remember your promise to consider me as a brother go on telling me everything that happens to you pray you cannot think how much interest i take in all your interests i can quite fancy that charming home at millham you told me about last sunday i can almost fancy mrs mason's work room and that surely is a proof either of the strength of my imagination or of your powers of description ruth smiled it is indeed sir our work room must be so different to anything you ever saw i think you must have passed through millham often on your way to lowford then don't you think it is any stretch of fancy to have so clear an idea as i have of millham grange on the left of the road is it ruth yes sir just over the bridge and up the hill where the elm trees meet overhead and make a green shade and then comes the dear old grange that i shall never see again never nonsense ruth it is only six miles off you may see it any day it is not an hours ride perhaps i may see it again when i am grown old i did not think exactly what never meant it is so very long since i was there and i don't see any chance of my going for years and years at any rate why ruth you we may go next sunday afternoon if you like she looked up at him with a lovely light of pleasure in her face at the idea how sir can i walk it between afternoon service and the time mrs mason comes home i would go for only one glimpse but if i could get into the house oh sir if i could just see mama's room again he was revolving plans in his head for giving her this pleasure and he had also his own in view if they went in any of his carriages the loitering charm of the walk would be lost and they must to a certain degree be encumbered by and exposed to the notice of servants are you a good walker ruth do you think you can manage six miles if we set off at two o'clock we shall be there by four without hurrying or say half past four then we might stay two hours and you could show me all the old walks and old places you love and we could still come leisurely home oh it's all arranged directly but do you think it would be right sir it seems as if it would be such a great pleasure that it must in some way be wrong why you little goose what can be wrong in it in the first place i miss going to church by setting out at two said ruth a little gravely only for once surely you don't see any harm in missing church for once you will go in the morning you know i wonder if mrs mason would think it right if she would allow it no i dare say not but you don't mean to be governed by mrs mason's notions of right and wrong she thought it right to treat that poor girl pama in the way you told me about you would think that wrong you know and so would everyone of sense and feeling come ruth don't pin your faith on anyone but judge for yourself the pleasure is perfectly innocent it is not a selfish pleasure either for i shall enjoy it to the full as much as you will i shall like to see the places where you spent your childhood i shall almost love them as much as you do he had dropped his voice and spoke in low persuasive tones ruth hung down her head and blushed with exceeding happiness but she could not speak even to urge her doubts afresh thus it was in a manner settled how delightfully happy the plan made her through the coming week she was too young when her mother died to have received any cautions or words of advice respecting the subject of a woman's life if indeed wise parents ever directly speak of what in its depth and power cannot be put into words which is a brooding spirit with no definite form or shape that men should know it but which is there and present before we have recognized and realized its existence ruth was innocent and snow pure she had heard of falling in love but did not know the signs and symptoms thereof nor indeed had she troubled her head much about them sorrow had filled up her days to the exclusion of all lighter thoughts than the consideration of present duties and the remembrance of the happy time which had been but the interval of blank after the loss of her mother and during her father's life in death had made her all the more ready to value and cling to sympathy first from Jenny and now from Mr Bellingham to see her home again and to see it with him to show him secure of his interest the haunts of former times each with its little tale of the past of dead and gone events no coming shadow through its gloom over this week's dream of happiness a dream which was too bright to be spoken about too common and in different years end of chapter three