 Yeah, we on boss talk one on one. Yeah, we gonna talk. Get your Bibles out. Let's go. You guys, all the stuff you've been doing bad, stop now. Pay attention to the screen. She hear, yeah, this lady right here, man, blessed this show last time. She was here so much, man. I watched that episode. I reclipped it. I reshared it. I did what they call a flashback. I made sure people understood that this lady, this queen was in the building, man. How you doing today? I am doing wonderful. Thank y'all for inviting me. Well, how was that introduction, though? That introduction was, I love it. Love it. Thank you so much for coming, man. You're welcome. It's just a blessing to be in, just in the midst of where two or more gather thou shall be in the midst. He said, two or more. Two or more, come on now. Okay, so therefore God is in here with us. He is. Let's just get usher him on into the room, come on in the room. That's the way they saying it. How you been doing? I mean, you know, you've been through so much, man, within the last two years, right? The last two years, it's been some ups and downs, you know, but you're still here. Praise God. You're still here. You know, I thought about it when I invited you. I said, man, you know, that's one thing about Ruth and Naomi and Oprah and all of them, they just kept going. And this is the way you have to do sometime. You can't write this out. This is nothing that you can pretty much, it's not your, it's the Lord's plan. That's right. God's plan. That's right. So at the end of the day, how are you holding up? I am holding, I am holding. It has been a, the last two years have been, I don't know, I can't even describe it really. I can't really articulate it because I have really came out of who I thought I was going in and who I am now. I would put up a shield, I try to be all hard, cause you know, I got to be hard around E, but I would try to be all hard. But the more that I've been going through when I'm going through, I'm learning that it's okay not to be okay. Right. It's okay to let people know that you're struggling, not at all times, but it's okay when you're down to say I'm down. And then on those days that you're down, then you get yourself back up and you keep going. There have been many days that I did not feel like getting out of bed. I did not feel like being a parent, didn't feel like being a pastor, didn't feel like being a human. But all I could say is, but by the grace of God, God's strength, somewhere along the way, I'd get another fresh wind. Somewhere along the way I'd get energy. I would, I'd feel like going on. My thoughts would be cloudy and then all of a sudden they would be straight. And I felt like that through all the pain and trauma that I've been through, I got a purpose. Wow. That I just didn't go through it for nothing. I got a purpose. Wow. Just a wonderful thing to know that you just feel like going on. But you definitely look like a breath of fresh air. You come in, you can tell that you understand about self-worth, you understand about self-healing, along with the healing of God. So that's the good part about it, that you know the words. See, there are some out there that don't know the word. That's true. And when you don't know it and you don't know your faith, you don't even know how to deal with situations. That some people would have been jumped off a bridge. I had one guy in here say, his mother jumped off the bridge when she was pregnant. It's some crazy stuff can go on, you know what I mean? And he's still here, you know? And it's just things like that that make you know that people that don't understand the word sometimes don't know how to function in the midst of things. And even when you do, it's not easy. It's not easy. Cause you can know the word and not know how to process it in your life, right? Right. And you know, it's a difference in knowing the word and making it real, using it. Cause you can know the word. You can study the word all day. You could go to Bible class, Bible school, but applying it and using it is totally different. Because like when that trauma hits you or that situation comes up, you could say, well, I know what I would have told John or I know what I would have told Betty, but Anita, what you gonna do about it? So how you gonna walk this thing out? According to God's word, God's will and God's way. How you gonna do this? It's a step by step process. It's a day by day moment by moment. It's a trial and error if the truth be told because we all fall down, but we gotta get back up. Amen. Because the way how you supposed to lead your life, you lead your life, not always telling people what to do is people look at your life, cause you can tell somebody all day long and they're not gonna do it. Because a lot of people feel like, well, you haven't been through. You don't know what I'm feeling. So God put us through certain things to equip us to be able to say, well, I went through this. This is what I did. Or for while you're going through it, people are watching you go through something and knew that you lost your husband and stuff like that and how all of a sudden they can't find you and then all of a sudden you reappear and you have this strength about you. But some days that you're down and they can see it, but you're back up. So they know it's an everyday struggle and you're not giving up, but you're able to, you know, fess up to the fact that just like you say, I'm not okay some days. That I'm not just saying that I'm perfect. Cause a lot of people do walk like they're perfect and will not admit some of their downfalls. You know what I mean? Because they don't want to be looked upon in a certain way because they're men pleasers really. That's how you look at people like that. They're not really walking as they should. So that's how I look on, you know, certain situations. And that's really good. I like that because I, this is one of the things that I had to grow to that it's nothing can beat your experience. We can do opinions all day long, but that experience, it's an anointing with that experience because if you can make it, I can make it. If I can make it, you can make it. But if you're just telling me you can make it, I'm like, did you go through losing a husband, a mother and a sister? No, I lost my doll. Well, that's not the same thing as losing a person that you woke up with every day. And a sister who you called on the phone every day and a mother who birthed you. So it's our experiences helps us and it helps us to grow. And so doing these last two years, I have came out of my shell. I'm still coming out of my shell. I'm not, I never wanted to be in front of the cameras or the one that, you know, I'm always working behind the scenes and their God is like removed every, almost everything around me just kind of like, okay, you were back here and now you're up here. Right. And so, and you're gonna have to walk the walk accordingly. Even as I'm walking in pain and walking openly, God is saying, I got you. Like I'm using the word, I will never leave you nor forsake you. So he's showing me that. And it's a difference in hearing it because I would hear it all the time. Okay, God, you know, you can never leave me and forsake me. But then when your mother is gone, when your husband is gone, when your sister who you depended on after your mother and your husband left, which my sister, my husband died 77 days apart. So it's like, okay, you don't have nobody else but to depend on God. And so it's one of those, it's one of those experiences that you learn and that you grow from. Man, you know, I know things where we were in the same place. And I thought about you not being with the one that you had always been with, being at these functions, being at the gala, being at that movie premiere and then Bishop Omar being in the movie. And I had you on my mind because I can be doing a million things but God be talking to me about individuals and circumstances that people are going through because of the way that I feel for people that I care about, people that I love. And it was just something for me to see you still coming to those functions. And but him being just like Coretta Scott King was where Martin Luther King continued to be magnified while she had to stay the course and live through the, even though now she's passed on, that was a time when I thought about her the same way and monuments going up and streets going up and him not being there, but at the time she having children and everything else with him the same way that you're dealing with dealing with things and pushing on. So how was it actually being in these places and him not being there? How were you able to cope? Well, quite frankly at first, I didn't wanna be at the places. I had a hard time seeing couples. I had a hard time seeing families because we had a family, we were a family. And so I would sit there and even going to church I would be mad at families and church. And so, but God had to touch me and heal my heart. And so when I began to go out on the different galas and the different events, I would sit there and I would think about the times that we would get dressed up. And so it was just memory started coming but they were happy memories. So I was able to embrace that and then I was surrounded by so much love. When I tell you I have not walked this walk by myself at all, I have not. I have a huge village of different ones calling, texting at different times. And so I do truly think that but just me being in that place and I know that I wanted to represent my husband, my beloved husband. I want to represent him and I wanna represent him wherever I go for have a long that I can. Yeah, we on boss talk one on one, one on one. Yeah, we gonna talk.