 Greetings, earthlings. I have been summoned here by the Nexus laser beam signal, which is in the form of a hand reaching up out of the sea, either waving or drowning. I'm not sure which. Only the wonderful Nexus could have enticed me to come. It is not easy to make the interstellar journey. But what better place than Amsterdam for me to visit? So long a city of tolerance, openness, and respect for all. So I am very pleased to be here among you, though I admit that many of your ways still seem bizarre to me, despite the extensive research I have done on you. I come from a planet in a galaxy far, far away and in another genre. The name of my planet is unpronounceable by you, since you lack the necessary vocal structures, which led us to view you for many millennia as lacking in intelligent life. But I have translated this name very approximately as mash-up zicks. It seems to be a rule with you that the names of alien planets must contain letters z, y, and x, and I have accommodated this rule in my translation. I note that here, within the mini-planet of Nexus, you have developed a rudimentary understanding of this rule as your own name contains an x. Your sages tell me that a Nexus is a connection linking two or more things, more or less like a safety pin, that it is a connected group or series, which confused me on our planet, everything is connected, or that it is the central and most important place of something. Also confusing to me, as on mash-up zicks, each of us is the center and the circumference is everywhere. But I understand that you have good intentions, my friends, if I may call you that. On mash-up zicks, we have no enemies, so we do not need this word for friend. But here on Earth, I grasp, you see the world in alternates and contrasts. Red evil, light dark, wet dry, fun boring, human rights worker, nasty race traitorous reeking trash pile of garbage. I am beginning to get the human hang of things, I believe. I came here to discover the answer to the question, what are these human rights of which you speak? It is not a question that makes any sense to us on mash-up zicks, since on our planet we have no need for such things as specially delineated rights. All of us, although we are by no means identical to one another, in fact we are extremely various as to appearances and hobbies. All of us are equal in the social and legal senses, unlike it sadly appears yourselves. You need these human rights items spelled out for the simple reason that a lot of you haven't got them. We mash-up zicksians have two questions that we like to ask of anything. Is it true? And is it fair? If it is not true that some people are by nature inferior to others, is it fair that they should be treated as if they are? After many millennia of treating some people as by nature inferior, but nevertheless gradually extending the franchise or the participation in full citizenship from kings to nobles, from nobles to male landowners, from landowners to male inhabitants, you human beings or some of you finally got it into your heads that human rights should be universal. Organized and well-funded forces are at work against these fragile human rights. It appears that there are some among you who are bored with the blandness of quasi-democracies and wish to resurrect the totalitarianisms of the 20th century. To this I would say beware. It may seem like a jolly idea at the beginning, what with all the marching and cosplay, and the feeling that you are serving a fearless leader who will tell you the truth, unlike any of those in the past, but these things have never ended well, especially for the citizens. Do you agree with the political muscling of climate science and toxicity research? Do you deride evidence-based journalism and evidence-based policies? Do you applaud the smashing up of newspapers and the beating up and murdering of journalists? Do you shout hooray when the press is called Pache Stalin, the enemy of the people? If so, line up over here in the cue-marked dictatorship. The line forms either to the left or to the right, but as they say about dead people, they all end up in the same box. Not that we use boxes as such on our planet. Our funeral ceremonies consist of, but I will leave that for another time. Let us just say that a certain amount of mash-up zikstofagi is involved. Waste not, want not. None of us is ever exactly dead. Just dispersed. You have transhumanists. We have trans mash-up zikstians. To end on a note of hope, mash-up zikstians love notes of hope. You are not living in a totalitarian dictatorship now. Or yet, please avoid it. Earthlings, you need not go down the divisive path of suspicion and hatred. You can instead identify as fellow human beings and try to understand and face your common human problems together. And you do have some large problems to solve. For instance, unless you regulate the temperature and chemical makeup of your planet, you will all be shitting plastic before long. Your oceans will die and then you won't be able to breathe. And it will be good by homo sapiens sapiens. We'll be sorry to see you go. You have some good points. We do like Mozart, but we can save the scores and play the music ourselves. Now I must shed my disguise of elderly short female person, glow with an incandescent light, sprout multiple pseudopod-like extensions, and shoot up into the stratosphere, bound for a planet in a galaxy far, far away and in another genre. Earthlings, behave yourselves. Have fun when possible. Avoid totalitarianisms. Enjoy the cat videos. Read up on human rights. Eat lots of kale. Get rid of single-use plastic. Farewell until we meet again.