 So there's this misconception that men are not interested in relationships and that they're emotionally incapable of even being in a relationship that they have issues with emotional intimacy and such and I just want to say out loud that is bunk Okay Now while that might be true for a lot of men that isn't all men So I want to lean into this conversation today because the reality is is human beings are rather dysfunctional I'm repeat that human beings are rather dysfunctional. This is true of men and women alike. This isn't singular to men And yet what I think is shifted in certainly in the last couple decades, but certainly in the last 50 plus years The need for commitment isn't as prevalent as it once was I'm repeat that the need for commitment Isn't as prevalent as it once was because of the ease of getting sex I'm repeat that the ease of getting sex and it used to be that and I jokingly say this But if a man wanted to get laid he had to get married He had to make the ultimate commitments Okay, now I'm not making this about men But this was a choice that couples did because before birth control there were apps there were consequences if there wasn't a union of two people and Certainly back 50 60 years ago before we before we lived in this disjointed Society that we are in at least here in the United States more so than other parts of the world There was tribe accountability that helped kind of helped raise children and Created a container for couples to be in a committed relationship and that has certainly changed dramatically in the last 50 years and more so in the last 20 years because of the ease of getting sex now With these devices, it's very easy to connect with someone make some grand promises Actually have sex without little or no Barrier to entry little or no hurdles to jump in Jump through to have sex with someone now. Here's the thing everybody. You're free to do what you want I'm just giving you my perception on this. I by no means suggest this is the truth This is a you know, I'm a bit of a contrarian so my advice is contrary to public opinion but I'm here to say That if you want to really shift the narrative then it starts by shifting the narrative within yourself And here's the challenge for most women in particular and I'm a dating relationship coach for women I specialize in helping women learn how to vet for emotional maturity and how to ask the right Questions in the early stage of dating to determine are you with that guy who genuinely wants a serious relationship or the guy That's gonna either be a user or someone who's gonna be a time-waster and just spend time with you and not really commit So if you need some support and help on that check out the link below to a free discovery call with me to see if working With the coach is right for you because that's my I teach you how to ask the right questions based on your personality So coming back to this empowerment piece. I believe women tend to operate in the dating realm or in the relationship realm I should say from a Dependency an energy of dependency And I think this is literally bred into women both biologically and instinctually because literally for 200,000 years once you think about Neanderthals are 200,000 years old Okay, and literally for 200,000 less the last 50 years women were predominantly dependent upon men for survival and I also want you to think for 200,000 years up until a hundred years ago. We didn't even have electricity So our society has evolved in in rapid Ways that didn't exist for 200,000 years and I and so think about this if Biologically speaking or instinctually speaking a woman is dependent upon a man even though she may not be any more I think it's just bred into you that way And this is just again my my speculation. I'm not suggesting. This is the truth This is why oftentimes women give their power away to men in relationship And then it's hard to determine which are the guys who are serious about a relationship because there are Really good men out there. There are good men just a lot of bad daters And what I encourage women to do is to become more empowered Let go of this masculine and feminine Expectation and rhetoric and become empowered within yourself. This is why lately I've been reading the book why men love bitches and Bitch stands for babe in total control of herself. Yes, okay By the way, there's a link below to get all the books I recommend when a woman's empowered she can now sift through The dysfunctional men much easier and if you're not familiar with my chart on emotional maturity and Relationship skills chart and this is not a fact This is an opinion and this is true for men and women of life There's roughly 20% of the population that has clinical issues And if you've been watching the Johnny Depp Amber herd trial, you can see dysfunction You can see clinical issues being played out in court And while I say over here 20% of men and women are emotionally healthy and have good skills I'm being rather generous here. Most humans are dysfunctional And they're either moving towards one of these are moving towards or they're coming from one of these to here Coming to one of these to here or they might be reverting So can you see how it is a cluster fuck out there? What a mess it is out there and it's partially because many of you been indoctrinated into the fantasy way Relationships should be instead of a real understanding of the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship And I say said before The barrier to entry to sex is so easy that it requires no effort from men This is why a lot of times guys are trying to invite you over to their home on the second date Which I'm guilty of folks. I'm guilty of this Because I'd like to have sex with a woman. I'm just gonna be candid with you. I am driven Biologically to want sex. I can't help when I'm feeling in a state of lust or limerence to get out of my egoic Lower chakra energy and actually sift to rise into the higher chakra energy of real love This is why I recommend ladies before the penis goes inside the vagina You read the book eight dates and you buy a copy for the guy and you read this Before or at least start reading this before you begin a sexual relationship And this is why I've indoctrinated what I call the dating vow the dating down if you haven't heard my dating vow Let me put it up here The dating vow is basically There's a saying women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment So you create a vow because we no longer have the marriage vow I'm here to offer a new solution to this called the dating vow and in the dating vow It's look at here's the the notes. It says the following. I Agreed and this is you both are saying this together I agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious within the next three to six months I Agree to be monogamous sexually while we're having regular sex together. I Agree to not actively seek and mate date Meet and date others while we're in the process of getting to know one another which includes I'll take down my dating profile. I Agree to speak up if this isn't working for me versus pulling back ghosting or disappearing and Lastly, I agree to invest regular time in this process of getting to know you which looks like the following We do social activities hobbies mutual interest speeds spent time with family and friends Because ladies if you don't know what type of if you're not familiar with the three different types of people Actively dating today. You should check this chart out. I created again not a fact an opinion There are either the users the spenders or the growers and Roughly 20% of the population of the users those are the love bombers and players and the gold diggers and the entitled people and Then there's the spenders they want connection They want companionship they want coupling with no direction Uncertainty and they're fearful and lastly the 20% category of the grower and builders And that's what we're going to talk about today or the grower and builders Those are the ones that seek full. They're seeking fully capes there Oh, I got to retype that seeking fully capable of commitment I'm ready to commit and They're ready to face their fears. I got to fix this typo. Oh Well, so what? all right, so Let's just say for argument's sake. You're with a guy who's actually emotionally mature now But you're kind of your or let's just say he's that Spender type. He's right on the cusp of becoming a grower that guy that you don't even have to second guess if he wants relationship How is he gonna show up? What's it gonna look like? How does he show he cares? Well, that's what we have today our seven ways men show they care when you're the one so And I want you to know ladies these men do exist most men are good guys Most men are good guys. They're not as bad even the dysfunctional men even the spenders They're not bad guys. And by the way, these percentages are equal for you women as well Just because you have a compensity or a propensity to what commitment doesn't mean you're any better at relationships I know a lot of women that are absolutely Dysfunctional and just because they want commitment doesn't make them better at being in relationship But when to Relatively emotionally grown-up people show up together. This is what it's gonna look like and I hope you like this So number one When a guy here's some signs and he shows that he cares and he looks at you as the one first off He's protective He's protective of you physically but more importantly. He's protective of you emotionally He is actually being mindful of your feelings true care from him true You know ladies, I know you love the idea that men are the providers and protectors Well, that used to be Hunting the buffalo and protecting against neighboring tribes now Since women are capable of paying their own way They're a true protector is a man who can emotionally protect your heart This is why I highly recommend checking out this book Emotional intimacy by Robert Masters read this book so you can understand what true emotional Intimacy is all about and why I recommend reading the book eight dates is because you can get a sense of whether or not This person will emotionally Protect you right there fairly early on in the dating process Because men who refuse to do work Men who refuse to do therapy men who refuse to actually try to Invest in the co-creation the relationship They're capable of Companionship connection and fucking you but that's about it Because if they're not willing to go deeper than what the fuck is the point Now listen, I recognize that many of you might settle for casual relationships. I get it Some maybe a casual relationship is better than no relationship at all. I get it and that's okay I'm speaking to those who want to go deeper that want something more from themselves those women who operate from a place of Empowerment those women that operate from a place of self-love and if you're not familiar with my book What the heck a self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-opened spiritual work highly recommend checking this out By the way link below to all my books the recommend Why I'm recommending this is when you show up from an empowered place and a non Dependency place you can actually be able to sift through the needles in the haystack Or find that needle in the haystack much easier because you become the pincushion Okay, so number one man shows he cares. He's not protective of you physically He's also protective of you emotionally number two He remembers things that you say he remembers things you say whether it's your about your family whether it's about your friends Maybe it's about your pet Maybe you shared something about your pet that was very sweet and he can remember it and he actually Shares it to you at a later date men who genuinely care about you pay attention To the things that are happening into your life. In fact, they're thinking sometimes I had which I'm gonna talk about that in a second Could be your work life could be your children whatever it is They're actually actively listening and paying attention now. I can tell you that I'm a person that actively listens and pays attention, but sometimes my memory faults me So this isn't an absolute that he's perfect at it But he's actually paying attention and he'll come back to you later and share something that you said and you'll go Wow, he was really paying attention Okay, number three. I love this one. He smiles when he sees you after a few days apart He smiles when he sees you so in other words if you've been apart for a few days and you see each other He actually shows up with a big gigantic smile That's a great sign that a man genuinely cares about you And he sees you as something more than someone to get laid. There's just a sense of enthusiasm when he sees you I remember in my most significant relationship even after years of us being together and we would usually be apart from Monday, we would see each other We'd be apart like Monday Tuesday Wednesday, and we get together Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday, and I'd come back home Monday That was our usual routine. But when I got to her house on Thursday or Friday night, I just had a big gigantic smile I was excited to see her. That's someone who genuinely Genuinely cares about you when there's enthusiasm when you see each other when you've been apart for a few days Number four, he ditches time with his guy friends to be with you I know listen ladies when I really like someone I have no problem ditching my friends to be with the person I care about Partially because I'm gonna get some nookie, which I'm always happy to have some nookie But also when you genuinely care for someone your friends know that and by the way ladies You know it with your girlfriends You do the same thing when you genuinely care about someone you kind of do now I'm not suggesting you make this a habitual practice But it's certainly a good sign when he ditches his friends to want to be with you Number five He doesn't get mad or angry Even if there's a fight between you he stays relatively calm People that genuinely care recognize that there's going to be differences in relationship and Those that are actually calm on the inside when there's a disagreement. It's because he really care He doesn't it's not about being right. It's about being happy and really healthy relationships No good conflict resolution skills This is one of the reasons why I highly recommend this book eight dates because I want you to see something right here one of the chapters Chapter the second chapter in the book is called agree to disagree addressing Conflict you see that there addressing conflict the book eight oops the book eight dates Folks the reality is his relationships are gonna have conflicts There's gonna be differences of opinion if you can't resolve them in a healthy happy way your relationship will turn into a Johnny Depth Amber Heard type of scenario so this is why I recommend these books over and over and over and over again And ladies just because you have a propensity to vomit your feelings doesn't mean you're necessarily good at communication skills I highly recommend everybody reading the book nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg So you can learn better effective communication skills because when you're good at it the guy will end up mirroring it ladies I know you don't like the idea that you might have to train men, but I'm here to say you lead by example That's what a healthy smart woman. That's what a bitch does she leads by example Okay, number six He thinks ahead if he knows you need help and I was sharing this before but coming back to pets I remember my ex-girlfriend had two big dogs and The the the dog food she would get with weight like 40 or 50 pounds each bag And so I knew this was heavy for so I used to go to the store and buy it for the dogs You know so I could actually help so just to help her so she didn't have to carry it in the house I'd go physically go buy it and then bring it back and bring it in the house That's what a guy shows when he cares and I know some of you might be thinking what happened that relationship look at Relationships come into your life sometimes to teach you lessons I had to learn a lot of lessons in that relationship. I wasn't fully ready and capable of being in a relationship back then I Mean a fully committed Partnership relationship, but we each other we healed each other's wounds And this is why we remain pretty decent friends with one another and number seven He demonstrates his level of commitment with words and actions So it's not just words his actions demonstrate commitment That is a man who genuinely shows he cares not just saying we all the time But he does it by showing up on a regular basis calling you on a regular basis planning vacations together introducing you to family and friends working on stuff together and Actually expressing the desire from a heart-centered place of wanting something more than just something on the surface and These are the seven ways men show they care when you're the one now as I said before There's a good chance you might end up with a user spender. I guess that that happens a lot That's because ladies most of you operate from this dependency Placed energy. This is why the women who work with me have such great success I just got another phone call the other day from a client who said I met a great guy and they know the difference Because they come at it from an empowered place and listen not all men are bad only a small percentage are true users and players But there's a lot of spenders out there a lot of dysfunctional human beings So if you want to sift through the weeds and I suggest reaching out to me to work with me to help you in that capacity Otherwise, I hope you got some value on the seven ways men show they care that you're the one this is now since this is a live broadcast we're going to take questions from our Audience here our listeners and followers and such And really quickly if you know my format if you have a question post the word question Write the question there after or purchase a super sticker super chat all the monies from the super or super Thanks, if you're watching the replay all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley that's him right there That's my son who passed away a few years ago shit It's coming up on four years now and in his honor I've started a scholarship fund to donate to causes like the Hoffman process Insights seminars and also to help folks defray the cost of personal development. So Post you can post a question or purchase a super sticker super chat um While I'm waiting for questions, I want to address something that came up the other day from one of our followers here and that has to do with masculine and feminine energy and polarity Now folks, I know I beg on feminine energy coaches because all they do is tell you to lean back in your feminine and be claimed By a guy. That's my perception of it. I know I make a silly joke of it Listen a healthy human being has a good balance between masculine and feminine energy masculine means doing and feminine means receiving Okay, or being okay, so when you're sleeping you're in your feminine. You're just being there Okay, you're not doing anything when you go to work You're doing something when you're brushing your teeth when you're doing something when you're driving the car You're doing something. Okay Now there's this expectation that men are the doers and the women are the receivers I have a real issue with that because a healthy human being is a yin yang sign of Healthy combination of both and you don't need this and this idea of polarity. Well, there's no fucking way to judge it There's no way to judge the energy Listen, and if it's talking about sexual polarity in the bedroom if two people want to fuck And I know you all would like me to say make love But listen, this is just my way of saying things just I use Explosives to enhance the sentence But if two people want to make love with each other, you don't need to figure out well am I is 72% of my masculine? Is she 28% in her family? No, I'm 82% masculine. She's 18% feminine. No, she's 19% feminine But I'm only 50% masculine. How the fuck do you figure this out? spending all this time trying to figure out bullshit when two people if they want to fuck you just fuck as far as Sexual polarity, okay, and if a man has to be a certain way for you to surrender it to look at Most men are shitty lovers to begin with but most women aren't necessarily Picnics in this category either very few people have truly studied Kamasutra Tantra or tantra is just breathing but all the different forms of variety of love making because most people just fuck That's just my opinion. Okay, but that's my opinion about masculine feminine energy And that's why I beg on it so much because you don't need to learn that what you need to learn more is Human behavior what you need to learn more is healing childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas That cause negative patterns and limiting beliefs in your life that cause you to choose dysfunctional people and you need to start Encouraging your partner to do this work That's why I don't spend any time on the masculine and feminine bullshit And by the way if you read the book if the Buddha dated if the Buddha dated throws out all the gender Rhetoric and says how can we show up as healthy human beings in the process instead of setting us up for failure because the bigger Problem relationship has nothing to do with masculine feminine energy the biggest problem in relationships is terrible communication skills and trust This is why I recommend these two books couples communication guide and how to build trust in a relationship Folks if you want to improve your relationship overnight by all the books. I recommend and it will change your life like that That's my rant and I'm sticking to it. All right. Let's see what kind of questions we have Alright, I Saw one earlier so bear with me Michelle writes question In your opinion charts relatively active dating people 20% clinical 60% dysfunctional 20% healthy When you refer to clinical is that Undiagnosed if ones on meds are stable or they include it Well, that's a good question I think a big percentage of the population is Undiagnosed but they have whether it's narcissistic personality disorder whether they're sociopaths whether they're borderline Whether they're bipolar there are probably yes, I'm including all the undiagnosed Now it could be a higher percentage than 20 there could be 40 percent with true Actually on some level everybody has a clinical issue because human beings are perfect. That's why I created the category of dysfunctional In my chart Because most humans are have weak emotional maturity and terrible relationship skills That's why when I say 20% I'm being generously I'm being generous and here's the delusion Everybody thinks they're not they everybody thinks they're healthy Even you Let me be candid. I'm dysfunctional And I do this shit for a living and I read this stuff. I'm not perfect It's taking a lot of work to be able to become vulnerable authentic and transparent and even then I operate I I matter of fact a video that's coming out tomorrow. I got accused of gaslighting the other day I didn't gaslight. I just simply fucked up Shit happens That's why I say most men are good guys They're bad daters. So coming back to your question. Yes, I believe that the those are undiagnosed because I don't think I don't think I believe less than 10 or 15 20 of the population actually goes to therapy so And I don't know how many people are diagnosed is this I hope that helps you michelle. Thank you for your question All right, let's go swimming J. W. Miller says what about polyamorous relationships? What about them? What do you want to know? If you want to know my thoughts everybody's entitled to do whatever they want Okay, I'm not here to judge. I like to talk about partnership based relationships. It's because folks I'm a little bit listen my mother and father were married uh 66 years before my mother passed away So in a way, I was indoctrinated in some level of partnership But the tv show heart to heart Is my role models does anyone remember the 1979 Came out in 79 and in the 80s Robert Wagner and stephanie powers heart to heart That was the show that made me realize that I want partnership with someone. I want great romance I want wealth and I want partnership. I want to solve Murders every weekend or in my case. I want to solve the problems of relationships every weekend. So, um So as far as polyamorous people can do whatever they want. I'm not a big fan of it But anybody can do what they want. That's how I feel about it All right Janet writes question. What keeps we women from being users and spenders after being with them What keeps we women from being? what keeps you from well What keeps you from becoming a user a spender or what keeps you from Attract what helps you attract a grower or builder? First you have to become a grower and builder yourself Okay, first you have to become a grower and builder yourself Neck in which really means you have to learn to become a bitch Because when you operate from a bitch you become a magnetic attractor Bitches don't attract users and spenders They don't they're so fucking empowered that they repel users and spenders. Listen I know a lot of rhetoric has talked about narcissistic personality disorder and how narcissistic people attract weak human beings or So or create a weak human being So, but what does that say if you're weak to begin with and you're susceptible to that? Maybe if you become strong from within before you date you're less likely to attract that person That's just a speculation. I have I can't say that is an absolute and I'm not here to I'm not here to Victim shame in any way. I'm just suggesting here when you become empowered you are less likely to attract Users and spenders that's it. That's just my opinion and I'm sticking to it all right Let's keep going we gin writes Question, what would you point out the most important lessons we can learn from the case of johnny and amber? You know what that's an interesting question You know, I was just thinking I might need to put a camera up in my home during my next relationship Because if I end up with any type of psycho woman, which I don't think will happen. Oh Don't make me go all psycho roommate on you is my coffee mug today But if I'm in a relationship with a woman who's unstable, I will probably put a hidden camera in my home That's what I learned from this. So if she physically abuses me, I have proof of it I was listening to some of the audios. Oh my god from amber herd I mean and I don't know. I mean I'm not and by the way, I'm assuming johnny's no picnic either, but Boy, did she go off on him a lot. So anyway, that's what I learned. Uh, thanks for that question Uh, jody p says big hugs to you beautiful soul if that's okay. Thank you so much Also, I saw a super sticker earlier. Thank you so much from that person Elizabeth, thank you so much for the super sticker. I really appreciate it All right, let's go swim in question At the end of your broadcast, can you please list the seven things again? Thank you so much susan, I will All right Um Elizabeth says does the does this apply to alternative lifestyles? I don't know I I really I don't know enough about alternative lifestyles to address it. I'll just be candid with you I work in a sub-segment of understanding Or studying let me reframe that human behavior for the most part heterosexual Relationships for those in midlife, which is after baby making in years and before retirement. That's where I tend to That's the 10. That's where I tend to focus most of my energy in my learning. So thank you, elizabeth for that Holly says I stop watching coaches that lean back folks because I want you to lean into your Empowerment, that's what I want. You don't want you to lean back because the idea of leaning back means he's gonna come towards you Bullshit When you lean back, I mean it just all it does is create fucking confusion in my mind lean into Your empowerment. That's my invitation for all of you all right Oh statement energetic vibration alignment is key way to go. I agree Holly says I admit I'm dysfunctional way to go own it when you can own it. You're better prepared Yellow moon says I love heart to heart me too. One of my favorite shows. I had such a crush on stephanie powers. I still do Uh Personal stuff. How was the jeff goldblum show? Oh my god. It was amazing. I got to see jeff goldblum Inc concert at the disney hall. Oh probably some of you might want to know how my My psilocybin journey went. Oh my god. So folks really quickly. I'm gonna take a Take a break here and share with you. First off. I just got invited to do an ayahuasca ceremony in august I'm so excited because this will be an interesting experience, but my psilocybin germany which I did with the shaman I asked the medicine to help me with patience and to help me with uh judgments and what's so fascinating to me A couple things I've been practicing patience a lot more since the journey But judgments and what was so fascinating to me is I asked for help with judgments and guess what happened I sat next to a woman who was fucking driving me crazy and I it would be inappropriate for me to share why Let's just say she had differences of opinion on masculine and feminine energy And it was driving me fucking nuts and I was in radical judgment And I it's funny because I've been now Faced with judgments over and over and over again and what what the medicine does is it helps it helps One become more in a meditative state where you're more capable of improving The egoic part of yourself and operate more from a heart-centered place. So Since that journey, I've now really been paying attention to how much I judge And I'm doing my best to return to love to shifting the energy everybody hold on one second I just want to share something with you Wait for sex to returning to love and shifting the energy If you're not familiar with the work of Marianne Williamson I highly recommend checking out her book return to love Because whenever we find ourselves in judgment comparisons resentment or guilt The true miracle in life is returning to a state of love Both for oneself and for others I'm going to repeat that returning to a state of love for oneself and what others Sadly most people judge and criticize each other We are and worse. We're suckling on the nipple of victim consciousness here in the united states so There's a lot of work that needs to be done If you want to be in a juicy delicious relationship like the one I talked about in the beginning of this broadcast So those to find those guys and those women that actually want to dive into deeper intimacy together All right. Thank you so much for that question and I shared my journey as well Um sherry says I missed the beginning. I will share it again. Don't worry before we wrap up um Jane p says I love that you do plant-based medicine me too Uh angela said whatever your name is I can't pronounce it properly. I'm excited to attend my first live video way to go Thanks for your support um Angie says I just ordered the book about a bitch way to go considering. I'm in the process of healing phase of me one or two years way to go All right. Do we have any questions? We by the way, you can ask me a personal question as well and more than happy to share Oh Johanca says how was your date? Well, that was a month and a half ago a month ago. I had that date um, it was fixed up by a matchmaker and You know, sadly, we were misaligned in a lot of areas in our life. She was very attractive We're the same age found myself very attracted to her, but we were just not clicking We weren't aligned in our values and our perceptions of the world folks. I need someone Funny, I've got a wedding to go to next week I'm meeting up with a woman that I met years ago through match.com. Actually, I haven't met her in person But um, the type of woman I need Couple things she needs to be able to accept my lifestyle, which is a bit bohemian. I like to do ayahuasca and psilocybin journeys. I like to ride bikes on the beach I wear jeans and flip flops most days. I'm I'm not a suit and tie kind of guy number one I do love to travel, but most importantly, I need a sapio sexual kind of woman I need a woman who wants to dive into philosophy And really dive into human behavior. That's where my fascination lies. I and and more importantly that she has a passion for Personal development self-help and spiritual work that she has at least not a passion, but she's open To it by reading all these books I talk about because this is a big part of my life My coaching practice. In fact, I'd love to have a partner and I do a podcast together talking about relationships Personally, you know, whether it's our own relationship or how to heal other relationships I I need a woman who also she has to have her shit together. I mean, she's not totally dysfunctional and fucked up Um She's not overly crazy. It was my best friend says all women are crazy. Most men women think men are crazy That's because they don't understand that women just want to be loved and nurtured and these guys are dumb fucking idiots sometimes But nonetheless, uh, but she can't be amber herd kind of crazy Um, sorry amber. That's just my perception of you Um, and more importantly, we're into each other So if I find that person where we're physically into each other We have great communication. She has that passion for the same things I do in life And I certainly will appreciate her passions. Um, but I know what I want and I'm looking for someone that can fit that So went off on a tangent, but I know that's a question asked of me frequently All right What's your favorite quote What's my favorite quote Uh, uh, my favorite quote is um Just keep moving forward By walt disney keep moving forward I think what that that quote helped me get through one of the toughest times of my life Um after I got folks if you want to know what inspired me to do this a couple things By the way, I've been recently criticized that I'm misogynistic that I'm hateful towards women because I yell and sometimes I yell at you You know, I'm yelling at you because I'm yelling because I'm like your big brother And I don't want you to do something fucking stupid Okay, that's a judgment. I get it. But that's just the way I operate. I'm from a A middle eastern family. We yell and screamed at each other. That's what we showed love. So that's number one Number two when I began being a dating coach I think I started because I was just angry at the way I was treated by women And I wanted to offer women an alternate way of looking at men What I didn't realize is as I began to hear women share their stories They had a lot of fucked up men in their life And so I became more of an advocate for women after I shifted out of my own anger towards women And maybe that bleeds over every once in a while particularly in the area of not feeling appreciated I can tell you that majority of men will share with you their number one frustration in Marriages and in relationships. They don't feel appreciated and women probably feel the same way as well So As I began my journey in helping people and I just went off on a tangent. What did I get started here? Why did I go off on this tangent about helping people? Oh Fuck this is a I had a brain fart. I just did a squirrel. So I don't know how I got there There was probably a question that triggered me and now I can't remember what it was Jeannie says you're not misogynistic. I've been accused of it a lot. Um, I think though What I'm trying to come across is this Is that Most humans are rather fucking clueless About the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship and I shout at the top of my lungs because I will I'm an advocate for it I'm a I I study human behavior. I'm an advocate for helping people Improve on themselves, which will improve their relationships and I'm mostly an advocate for and partially It's because I have my own delusional or fantasy thinking. I have my own Hypocrisy and I have my own victim consciousness. So sometimes when I'm yelling at you It's because I'm yelling at myself. I'm yelling at my own shit Oftentimes we project onto others or we're a reflection of others My whole hope is to break you open Into looking at things a different way. That's all I'm really trying to do is hopefully Shift you to love to love Because ultimately I believe when we operate from a place of genuinely loving ourselves and everyone else loving ourselves and everyone else Loving ourselves and everyone else and not judging others No matter how they show up in our life and we look at everything is happening for us and not to us And we have the power to be empowered in our lives and it doesn't matter whether or not we find a partner in our life What matters most is the journey not the destination enjoy the fucking ride And so I find that I'm single and I'm loving the ride I'm on and it's going to take someone special for me to want to It's going to take someone extraordinary for me to want to commit to someone folks You know the real challenge And this is why I'm such an advocate for everyone to be empowered because when you're empowered You don't want to settle for mediocre relationships. You oftentimes set your standard not overly high You set the bar as saying I want someone to meet me at my waterline at my waterline And that's my invitation for everyone here Thanks for letting me go on a rant there. I appreciate it Jeannie says I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much Uh Oh my next favorite phrase. Oh, I know where I was going keep moving forward. That's what got started this my favorite quote So why I share this with you is I my favorite quote was keep moving forward This is piggybacking what I'm sharing before I was in the darkest place in my life 15 years ago Going through a divorce addicted to drugs and alcohol lost all my money in the market crash of 2008 and nine and There was one quote When I saw the movie meet the robinsons and I heard the quote Just keep moving forward or keep moving forward. I said to myself Just each day do a little better each day do a little better each day do a little better each day do a little better And it was incremental But I dug I was at a point I was at such a low point of where I used to go to bed wishing I didn't wake up and I think about that Right now thinking after losing a child. I couldn't imagine now that I wanted to abandon my children I was in that much depression that much sadness that much loneliness But just keep moving forward keep moving forward keep moving forward was getting me through it Little by little and I began more and more to become empowered And I know so many men are living in that same state of uncertainty even in my psilocybin journey Two of the guys out of the six people there shared that they were in a state of mild depression and I get it. I was there Sadly a lot of people are in depression This is why they become the users and the spenders not because they're bad people is because they're hurting on the inside And I know this because I was there And so the quote and then the quote get busy living get busy dying That's part of my rhetoric too. My my part of my mantra is because I have a choice And trust me folks when you lose a child you recognize that every day is precious And I miss my son every fucking day And in his honor I work I I do this I yell and scream I do this in his honor I do this in his honor because there's a part of me that's a part of him that's Coming through me to want to say folks wake up Stop living a delusional Hypocritical and victim-based life and that means doing the heavy lifting And when you become more empowered you don't attract users and spenders you become that magnetic attractor for who you are And what you want can I get an amen? All right, thank you for allowing me to share that and thanks for the reminder with the quote. I appreciate it Ah Christine says I hope and pray we all find we all all of us here find our perfect match, especially after putting in all the work amen Question do you shout when you're with your friends? No, I'm actually a very calm person I only shout because I only shout at people To wake them up. That's the only time I shout. I'm actually I don't curse that much either I curse here because I use them as expletives I don't curse that much most when I'm with my friends. I am so chill I'm so chill In fact most of the time when I'm with my friends. I just listen So thank you for that question. I appreciate it All right Patricia says I admire your honesty. Thank you so much Janet says I'm willing to do the self work and move forward amen Mary Ann says I'm coming at it a hundred percent. I expect that back. Amen Ah Jeannie says seize the day way to go Janet says I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you so much everyone. Thank you so much Uh, angel league. I can't pronounce your name. Keep moving forward very powerful quote of hope very courageous. Thanks for sharing I'm proud of you. Thank you so much all right All right, we got a few more minutes before we wrap up Do you have any question? Oh, listen, I'm going to share those seven ways men show They you're the one because someone asked me to do that. So really quickly A man who shows he cares when you're the one He's protective of you physically and more importantly Emotionally I repeat that physically and more importantly emotionally number two He remembers little things that you say about your family your friends even your pets Little things that you say he remembers it Number three, he smiles when he sees you after being apart for a few days He smiles when he sees you after being apart for a few days Number four, he ditches time with his guy friends to be with you. I am guilty of doing that I love I mean if I want to be with someone special plus if I get to get laid I'm going to ditch my friends and a heartbeat if I get to get nooky and to spend time with someone I care about Number five. He doesn't get mad or angry even if there's a fight between the two of you. He stays calm. He stays calm Number six, he thinks ahead if he knows you need help with something in your life. He's thinking ahead And lastly he demonstrates his level of commitment with his words and his actions It's not just words. It's the actions as well. That's a man who shows that he cares Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know All right, let's see what other questions. Let's keep swimming Christina says amen. Thank you so much. All right. We got time for one more question All right star. We'll talk. Was she gonna she says All right, we got one more question. There's a guy I've known for over a year and I know he's interested But won't make a move star. You can make the move Just ask him out for coffee and then kiss him. It's all it takes All right, here's the last question of the evening What what does your spirit want to share before closing with us? Put your hand on your heart's please your heart, please um Dear god universe spirit What I want to share it with everyone Is to remember who you are Remember who you are you are born into this world With love at the core of who you are your spirit is born of love And what this journey is because over the years we've been piled on armor And and bricks and mortar that covers that part of us that genuinely loves and true Personal development self-help work is peeling the layers peeling off the masks that have been created Because you operate from a place of pure joy pure love And remember that when you're in a state of pure joy and pure love nobody can fuck with your chi As connor used to say and in chapter five of my book what the heck is self-love anyway And so I invite you all to read this book The four agreements the four agreements If you haven't read this book, this is a very empowering book The four agreements are Be impeccable with your word Always do your best People's opinion of you is just their projection and don't make assumptions And when you live your life from the four agreements You'll find that you'll become more and more and more empowered and each day and each day and each day I invite that into your life And with that that's my message for all and I send that out to all of you Oh All right, I think this will be a great place to wrap up today I hope you found value in this if you did please hit that like button Please share this with your friends. Please subscribe if you stayed this long and not a follower Also, if you want to work with me check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you And I'm gonna wrap and by the way check out all the other links my instagram my Podcast and if you want to join my private group if you can't afford coaching check out midlife love mastery Okay, I think this will be a great place to wrap up today. First off I'm going to give myself a big gigantic Johnathan bear hug of self-love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm asking you to turn to someone pet teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank star and janis and patrician paula and jade and kitkat kitty cat and holly and angeli And heather heathers in the house angie and diana and chemistry Um And let's see cam fan and mook mac. I'm terrible at reading quickly everyone Thank you so much. Have a fabulous evening. You be well. Okay. Bye now