 Many people think they have to follow some life script to be happy. Have lots of friends, go to a prestigious school, get married, and have kids. This mindset can be toxic and might make you feel incomplete or purposeless. Introverts especially suffer from this mindset since many would rather keep to themselves, self-reflect, and feel pressured to be extroverted. Here are key tips for living a happy, introverted life. Redefine your happiness Almost everyone seeks happiness, but only some know what it looks like for them. For some people, happiness means having a family, a dog, and a white picket fence. For others, happiness is obtained through mastering new skills like drawing or writing. An artist may define happiness as having their work in a world-renowned gallery. An author may find happiness in having been published. Many times, happiness is defined as something to be obtained and possessed. But positive psychology coach and very well-minded blogger, Derek Carpenter, argues that one consistent theme in happiness research is that your choices and behaviors, which are in your control and changeable, have significant effects on your well-being. In short, it means we can choose to be happy without having access to things or meeting specific goals. Allow yourself to be satisfied whether or not you succeed in life, and give yourself grace when you fall short of others' expectations. Not being extroverted doesn't mean you're incapable of achieving happiness, it just means you have a different definition of what happiness is. Let go of surface pressure. For better or worse, other people often affect the choices we make. This mindset is typically the result of societal surface pressure. We care a lot about what others think, so our actions and decisions will usually reflect what others want from us. Licensed psychologist Ari Aras notes that Disney's incanto showcases many prime examples of societal pressure. In the case of the super strong Lisa, she is genuinely struggling with meeting the expectations of others and wonders what will happen. If I could shake the crushing weight of expectations, would that free up some room for joy or relaxation or simple pleasure? According to BetterHelp, social pressure can lead us to behave in ways that aren't good for ourselves, or the people around us. The desire to fit in can lead people to do things like take drugs or drink too much to be accepted by a peer group that participates in those kinds of activities. Introverts especially deal with this kind of societal pressure, and introvert may be told they're too boring or not fun enough. This kind of pressure can lead many introverts to feel the need to be more extroverted and social to be happy and accepted. Instead of giving into the pressure, think about what you want in life and make the moves to make it happen. You'll be happier following your path than the path of others. Enjoy the little things. Like rule number 32 says, enjoy the little things. You probably heard this tidbit of advice so many times is easy to ignore or overlook. Still, a 2012 study at Rutgers University linked greater appreciation to increased life satisfaction, even more so than personality traits, gratitude, and demographic factors such as gender, age, and ethnicity. The results of this study suggested that taking time to appreciate the pleasures in life, no matter how small, can be extraordinarily beneficial and promote satisfaction. Little things to enjoy include taking long walks to enjoy the natural scenery, gardening, baking, or getting lost in a good book. If you're an introvert and reading or painting makes you happy, let yourself experience the feeling rather than keep it down. You don't have to only be happy when you're out with friends at a party, and you certainly don't have to save up your happiness for only special occasions like birthdays and weddings. You have every right to be happy any time of the year or day. Appreciating the little things can lead to lasting happiness, so stop to smell the flowers, and you may be amazed at how happy you become in the long run. Embrace quality over quantity. Yes, healthy and meaningful relationships play an integral role in our happiness. Extroverts are well known for making fast friends, while introverts are known for having limited but significant social ties. But what also brings true is the necessity for social connections. We often need our friends and family to feel happy and fulfilled because they offer a sense of belonging. Private psychologist Romeo Fatelli argues that people reporting more close friends showed greater social satisfaction and greater well-being overall. We feel loved just by being around them, but we don't need to be surrounded by friends and family 24-7 to be happy. Introverts, for instance, love their quiet time. But that doesn't mean they love their loved ones any less. They also often prefer quality over quantity. There's nothing wrong with that, since it can lead to more in-depth, enriching relationships. Stanford University Professor of Psychology, Laura Karstensen, argues we may even deliberately downsize our social networks to only a few close friends or family members to simplify our lives and preserve future health and well-being. Show yourself. Is anyone happy pretending to be someone they're not? Rodney Lane, a contributor to the Journal of Happiness Studies, says introverts are constantly pressured to be extroverted in the Western world. As noted, extroverts are highly regarded as leaders and team players, while introverts are often mislabeled as aloof or anti-social hermit types. This societal mislabeling can make many introverts look down on themselves as less than others and make them feel desperate to display extroverted traits that often go against their true nature. In response, cognitive scientist and humanistic psychologist Scott Berry Coffman concluded that the biggest key to being a happy introvert is simply self-acceptance. Not forcing oneself to repeatedly act out of character or to think of oneself as merely a deviation from an ideal personality. Instead of pretending to be someone you're not, accept and embrace who you are. You'll likely be much happier that way. And see the true beauty behind the mask that is you. Don't be afraid. Show off the real you. Ultimately, there is no clear cut past to happiness, and that is because everyone's definition of happiness can differ. If hanging with friends or reading a good book makes you happy, then by all means go for it. But if you're trying to follow some life script and it's making you miserable, it's time to rip up the script and follow your path towards achieving happiness. If you found this video helpful, please like and share it with your fellow introverts. Until next time, remember to hit that subscribe button to be kept up to date on our latest videos. And take care.