 Does feminine energy really exist? Well, we're gonna explore this because ladies, there are a lot of female coaches out there selling you on the idea of feminine energy and how to change your life through this feminine energy. And I'm gonna lean into a deeper conversation that relates to human behavior differentiating between men and women. Now look, I know the title did grab you with the five feminine ways to keep a man's interest. And at the same time, this is actually going to be more about human behavior versus differentiating the differences between men and women. Now, there are some clear differences between men and women. And I wanna explore those first to really and first and foremost is understand why men act the way they do and how this relates to how they relate to you and relationship. So really quickly, we all know this is an example of differences between men and women. There's the instinctual differences between men and women. Men are the hunters, they're the providers and women are the nurturers. And that's our instinctual stuff from caveman days. Certainly there's biological differences between men and women. Men have a higher testosterone level. Men tend to have penises, women tend to have vaginas or let me reframe that. Males have penises, females have vaginas. Those are certainly differences and there's the hormonal differences, women produce more estrogen, men tend to produce more testosterone, as I said before. And I know you've heard a lot of narratives, how men need to be and go into their cave to replenish their testosterone. Well, that might be true. There's certainly socialization differences between how boys are raised and how girls are raised or young males versus young females. There's a socialization that happens. Men are oftentimes taught to be stoic and stuff their feelings and women are more apt to, or girls are more apt to be allowed to be more expressive. Now, sadly, women also tend to, or girls get tend to be objectified based on their looks and men tend to get objectified by their ability to be stoic, provide and protect, okay? So those are kind of the biological, natural differences between men and women. Here's where men and women actually find themselves to be more alike. So first off is imprinting, imprinting. Imprinting means the childhood wounds and traumas, including love attachment style that actually imprints how we show up as adult human beings. And how someone was raised by their parents, imprints upon us, and then becomes a reflection of how we show up as adults. And this isn't singular to a gender. This isn't masculine and this isn't feminine. This is how we were raised by our caretakers. And sadly, men and women combined have unique experiences that cannot be characterized into masculine and feminine energy. In addition, our age and our life experiences, men in their 20s, it's a lot different than a man in his 50s, 60s or 70s. A man that's in his 20s and 30s or is a reflection of the blueprint they might have had in childhood, just like a woman's blueprint might have had in childhood. But as they have life experiences, men and women alike can experience the traumas of marriage or excuse me, divorce, maybe health issues, maybe they've got physical issues. Maybe they have professional issues in their life. And this isn't singular to a gender. This isn't singular to male and female. Anybody can experience this, okay? Now I'm gonna keep going for a moment, but God, I'm yelling, so please forgive me. I'm gonna keep going. But why I'm so passionate about this is we can't characterize masculine and feminine for male and female in this ideology because we have to take into account beyond the biology and the instinct. We have to take into account what actually happened to this human being, whether male or female, to make them who they are today and how they show up in relationship today. Besides age and life experience, is there cultural or religious values? That isn't singular to a gender. How you are raised, now how you're raised does apply to your socialization, which I talked about earlier that tends to be gender-based, but how you show up as an adult could be as different based on each culture or what religion you might have been associated with as an adult, okay? So it's not a gender-based thing. In addition, your socioeconomic status, people with money operate different than people who don't have money. That's a fact, but that's not based on gender. That's not based on masculine and feminine. In addition, their physical health. Someone's physical health as an adult and their appearance and their fitness and whatnot isn't a gender-based conversation. And once again, this is why I have a beef with the feminine energy coaches that aren't necessarily giving you insight into the totality of what makes up a human being in it. The next is, are they an introspective person? Do they look inward from a place of emotional maturity? Because emotional attendance, emotional maturity, people that are more apt to look inward are gonna operate differently in relationship than those people that aren't introspective, that don't have a level of emotional maturity. Now, emotional maturity is, does this person's actions match their words? Do their person's actions match their words? Do they have a level of victor consciousness and not victim consciousness? This isn't singular to a gender. Do they know how to fight fair? What I mean is, do they have good listening skills? So listen, relationships are gonna have conflicts. They're gonna have conflicts. How you resolve conflict is not based on your gender. It's about your capacity to be emotionally mature enough and to listen to the other person's point of view, accept that person's point of view as being true for them and actually acknowledging the other person and being able to agree to disagree. Another important factor, again, this isn't gender-based, is whether or not they are empathetic. Empathy isn't just I can feel your feelings. Empathy is also in relationship, more importantly, is do I trust this person cares about my feelings as much as I care about my own feelings? Does this person have my best interest at hand? That's a real level of empathy and trust in a romantic relationship. And lastly, is there a level of transparency in our relationship? Is there a level of transparency? In other words, transparency means if it's material to the relationship, will I speak up about it? And this is where a lot of men fail, for example, and a lot of women fail is that they don't actively share their true feelings around a relationship even though it's material to the other person. That's what an emotional grown-up does. This is why when I work with clients, and I gotta tell you something, by the way, there's a link right here to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you, my whole area of expertise is to not to look at this from a gender perspective, although I work with women helping them with men, it's to decipher is this person mature enough to be in a relationship with me? Is this person capable? But more importantly, as a woman, are you really clear on understanding this and we go into a deeper dive when I work with clients? So again, if you need some help, get to the link in the description below to schedule a discovery call with me. All right, we're gonna talk about this game changer we're talking about, the way to keep a man's interest. But I hope you found value in that little narrative of understanding that masculine and feminine energy, masculine feminine is a construct that doesn't take into account true human behavior and more importantly, what has happened to this individual human being to determine how they're gonna show up in the dating, mating and relating process. Does that make sense? Please let me know. Please hit that like button right now. Please share this video if it does. Please subscribe to my channel if this makes sense. Please purchase the super thanks if you'd like to show your appreciation because what I'm about to share is neither masculine and feminine, even though the title is the five feminine ways to keep a man. This is the five empowered ways to keep a man. This is establishing yourself in the capacity of self-respect, self-reliance, self-esteem, self-worth, all what I call self-love. And if you're not familiar with my book there's my name right there. What the heck is self-love anyway? A journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. Again, there's a link below to get a copy of my book. I highly recommend this because what's gonna change your love life are the following five things. First off, it's important to have an easygoing personality. I gotta be candid with you. My sweetheart who's in the picture right there. What I admire about her most is she has such a chill, easygoing personality. Not everybody has that, man or woman alike, but quite frankly for a relationship to actually not just maintain it, but to make it thrive. Having an easygoing personality, whether you're man or woman is critically important if you wanna have a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship. One where you're actually thriving together. And people who operate from a defensive place, they operate from a critical place, they operate from a place of contempt, or worse when they're stonewalling you. In other words, they're avoiding real issues in the relationship. They're not operating from an easygoing place. What I just shared is what John Gottman talks about is the four horsemen of the apocalypse. If you don't have that easygoing personality, you're gonna be rubbing each other the wrong way. And if you don't have really good communication skills, this is gonna be problematic. Number two, I just shared it, self-love. That's that self-respect, self-reliance, self-care. Being in that space of genuinely individual empowerment. Ladies, you tend to have a capacity to give your power away to men in relationship. Many of you operate on such a needy place that you need, it's almost as if I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. So many of you operating from a dependency place, self-love is a self-empowerment place. If you're not familiar with the book, I don't love everything in this book, but the book is called Why Men Love Bitches and Bitch Stands for Babe in Total Control of Herself, ES. I recommend this book is because it's an empowerment book. If you really wanna change your love life, if you wanna keep a man's interest, then establish that you are in your sovereignty. Both your self-love, but as the book calls it, a bitch means you're in your power. You're not giving your power away to a man. How do you know you're giving your power away to a man? It's because when you make your happiness dependent upon him loving you, that's giving your power away. When you make your happiness dependent upon someone else loving you, okay? Number three, she clearly knows what she wants. She knows her standards. I gotta tell you, I said this recently in video. I have clients coming to me all the time. Jonathan, I know what I want. I know what I want. I know what I want in a relationship. And then they go through this proprietary coaching program I created and guess what they say every single time. I had no idea what I wanted. Yes, many of you know the surface level of what you want, but to go below the surface requires clarity. The reason why my job is to ferret that out of you is because when you have clarity on what you want, it's a game changer. And I gotta tell you, ladies who sign up to my, the minute they invest in the program, I get calls all the time. Jonathan, I met a great guy. Jonathan, I met a great guy. Jonathan, I met a great guy. And they know the difference. Folks, I'm here to establish a new or a different way to approach relationships. I call it the establishing the rules of engagement. That's also known as hardballing, but the rules of engagement starts with radical honesty. It starts with pre-qualifying this person before you actually ever meet them ahead of time. I know this goes against all the other rules because all you're supposed to do is sit back in your feminine energy and let that guy claim you. That's selling you on the fantasy that men are actual emotional grownups. As I shared in the beginning of this broadcast is that men are riddled with wounds and flaws and adult flaws or excuse me, adult traumas, many women alike have. So to this expectation that all it is is about the divine masculine and they're just gonna claim you. What world are we living in? We are living in a world of dysfunctionality because most humans have weak emotional skills and terrible relationship skills. There I'm screaming again. I'm just so passionate about waking you up. That's why all the books I recommend is designed to build you up from the inside out. And number four is learning what boundaries are and the real value of a boundary. And I like the way Brené Brown talks about boundaries. A boundary is simply what's okay and what's not okay for me. And right from the beginning you establish agreements based on your standards. Look at, this is gonna turn off 90% of men. You gotta accept that. 90% of men most likely are not capable of diving into the deep kind of relationship you want because we have wounded human beings, yourself included. The weight, oh, by the way, my coffee's up, cup. I still have this one. I make the world go around. What do you do? Very narcissistic. This was a friend gave it to me. Agreements, that's a way to honor your standards. That's a way to say, look, this is what I clearly want in a relationship. Are you on the same page with me? Ladies, these days, hooking up is the primary, look it, with these devices, with these devices we can simply hook up with people. We don't have to, other than guys can simply say, you know what, I want a relationship. But if you don't know what that word means to them and what that actually looks like for them, I would simply say ladies, if you do nothing else from this video going forward, when a man says I want a relationship, ask him clearly, what does that look like for you? Now, he'll probably be a deer in the headlights. When I was, before I met my beloved, I was very clear what a relationship looked like for me and I'll share it with everyone. We spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in our personal and our professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional, intimacy that leads to either moving in together or getting married. Met a woman, long distance. So we couldn't do the three or four days, what we did was we'd spend two weeks together, a week and a half off, three weeks together, two weeks off, one week together, a week off, and then we eventually moved in together, okay? We're living together, she and I, Marie. I was very clear on the standard of what a relationship looked like for me prior to meeting her. You might meet men who are dear in the headlights because now the fifth thing I'm gonna share today relates to why men are dear in the headlights. It relates to passionate sex, passionate sex, having desires sexually for one another. See, men operate, a lot of men are operating on the sex and they're hoping for everything else and I'm here to say establishing your clarity before that piece because when you, by the way, sex is part of the decision-making process today. It is part of the decision-making process. My suggestion is to pre-qualify the guy before you begin the sexual relationship to make sure you're on the same page because the worst thing you can do is invest in someone only to find out that they're incapable of actually leaning into a relationship. This is why vetting, screening, filtering, establishing radical honesty in the rules of engagement very early on is critically important because you can do all the feminine energy work in the planet but if you're talking to, if you're talking to some man who's emotionally immature, emotionally constipated, emotionally inept, his relationship skills are weak and but he looks good on paper, he all looks, he looks really good on paper. You could be setting yourself up for relationship success. Is this sinking in? Please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this, okay? And again, if you found value in this, check out in the description, the link to schedule a discovery call with me. Check out my group called Midlife Love Mastery. Follow me on Instagram, check out all the books I recommend. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big, gigantic Jonathan Barrock of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it, we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch, bye-bye now, bye-bye.