 All the questions that are coming in I'm trying to keep up and so will somehow get your questions answered if not tonight We'll get you answers One of the questions patty that is kind of on it a lot of people's mind is what is your status now? And do you still have same-sex attraction and how do you like identify yourself? Man, you're gonna wish you weren't here. I identify myself right now with one word menopause This room is brutal man talk about knowing you're a woman Wow So I Identify as as a as a Christian. I do not identify as a gay Christian I believe that's really Dangerous to identify as a gay Christian people identify that way because they say they still have same-sex attraction but I Love what do you guys are you guys familiar with Rosaria Butterfield? Listen to what she said When she was being interviewed by Elisa Children's who's awesome as well. Where did my wife? I go did that go out with the heat? I mean the air Sorry Yeah Remember that remember the little no internet connection. So Let me find it under my notes. She said This is what she said when asked About gay identity The cross does not make an ally with the sin it crushes. Isn't that good posted it? The cross does not make an ally with the sin it crush it crushes if I would have kept any part of my gay identity It would have held it would have It would have had a held a grip on me still and I probably would have been back in the life when I walked into that church that day and cried out to God and said father forgive me of my sins Jesus be my lord and savior Fill me with your holy spirit. I knew I was giving him everything but listen I didn't get saved so that I could have opposite sex attraction I didn't get saved. So someday I could have a husband that thought Just disgusted me when I got saved I got saved because I realized God was real and that he loved me and I wanted every bit of God that I could possibly get and amen and So when I first got saved I happened to have the honeymoon phase I know not everybody gets a honeymoon phase. They go right into trials. I had a honeymoon phase So there wasn't a lot of thought about Same sex attractions but then when I started asking God the questions about where did it come from and The memory of the the sexual abuse came up and some of this stuff came up It was so hard that my thoughts were let's go back to your comfort zone Yeagermeister Miller light line of coke All at the gay bar down the street But I didn't instead what I did is I got flat on my face and cried out to God and said God I Want that Because I know how that feels But I want you more actually I'm not sure if I do my lips are saying I want you more and my heart is saying I want that more will you hear the prayer of my lips Instead of my heart and will you make my heart and lips eventually come together and he did it's about obedience you guys Jesus laid down his life for me So I was willing to lay down every aspect of my life for him and I didn't I'm not missing out on anything I've gained everything. I know how to have relationships with women now now that are are good A lot of people think homosexuality is not knowing how to to be with the opposite sex. It's not It's not knowing how to be with the same sex in the right way I was longing for things in women that I I didn't get in other ways because of family circumstances that I didn't get into tonight But but now I was I was growing in friendships with women at church and learning how to have real friendships without sex being involved So am I attracted to men? No, but I'm attracted to my brothers. You guys are awesome I used to be the the person walking down the street holding my girlfriend's hand And if a if a sidewalk if a guy was walking toward us and even glanced at us I would jut out my chest and spit at his feet. Oh, what are you looking at? Like with all this narrowly face and hopefully that's not the pictures you got when you guys were taking pictures But But I hated men and it took me a little bit after getting saved To to really be able to feel safe and in a room with men But you know what I did though the women that I was becoming friends with I told them I don't like men and I know I need to will you invite me over to your house when your husband's home? So I can learn what it's like to be around men that won't hurt me And and they did these men are my brothers now. I trust them And it took some things took a long time. I travel. I mean I traveled for Ten years now something like that. I've been in ministry. I Go to churches all over the country all over the world with people I don't know and I always go to the church early So I know where my exits are a little bit of flight attendant, but also Because I don't know who I'm with and I want to know Where my exits are that might not ever go away, but I'm so much further than I ever was before so my identity is Christian I know there's I just I'm a follower of the word of God in this in the Son of God Jesus Christ and that's it You know, I love the fact that We're not trying to make somebody straight. We're trying to win them to Jesus It's like we're not trying to make somebody sober You know, we're trying to you know, we're trying to get them to know their value in Christ more than anything I will say, you know, I came from a great church and I was at this church for 18 years before I Moved out here, but you know in the first year when I was at church It was only a couple of women would just come up to me and be like, oh You're so pretty when you look great with earrings, you know Or what you look great with this and you know, you're amazing. God's got a husband for you someday and Inside I was like well if that's the case I don't want to stay walking with the Lord because my idea of a husband was abuse and So we can't don't put things on people. Please don't put things on people. Don't try to fix people You can't who I mean this nicely. Remember. I love you Who do you think you are trying to fix somebody at church or your child people don't need to be fixed. They need to be redeemed This question says I'm not a parent But how do I approach this subject with kids in the family of both younger kids as well as tweens and stuff So how? Not a parent, but round kids a lot awesome. Thanks for for asking that question I would say ask questions knowing understanding though that that As long as you you have permission or it's appropriate, you know if their nieces or nephews or whatever as long as it's cool with Their parents, you know have just to have conversations like hey what's it like it's at school and You know, I know I know when we were doing this the other day, you know We saw we saw a couple that was was two women together Like how do you what do you think about that like is does anybody talk about that at schools or anybody like that at school? What kind of curriculum are you learning at school? I just want to know what you're you're learning and what you think about all this stuff So I can talk to you about it and so that we can pray together about it And if you have any questions, I'm here for you But it's a little bit different to start that conversation when you're not their parent unless you have that permission from parents, but if you have that desire and Maybe pray about getting involved in youth work Kids are awesome. I mean when I have Q&A's with with the kids I just it's like wow. I've never been asked that question before that's great, but Yeah, that's our youth love you Hey, can we hang out tomorrow? Yes. All right you know speaking of that we had some of you might know but a young man in our youth group passed away recently we're doing his memorial service on Friday and sorry the day we Told our youth group Patty was here doing a training that afternoon And she came early to help us minister and so just super thankful for that this question Patty It's probably the one of the bigger questions. I think we're at 30 something questions right now, but you kind of mentioned it about like Getting involved, you know, if you're your son or daughter has a relationship already, but Invited like let's say the age will quit if we're invited to a wedding or if we're invited to a gathering with same-sex Attraction or maybe it's a same-sex wedding or something like that. What's your thoughts on us either attending or? Supporting or whatever that would be the biggest the most the most popular question I get asked is should I go to a gay wedding? So going to a gay wedding and going to a gay barbecue are very different Depending on whose barbecue it is like when I would go to barbecues if it was all lesbians Well, if you were a guy, we probably wouldn't let you in but You know it was more just hanging out tossing the football around talk about stereotypes But it was hanging out But sometimes when you go to when when it's when it's gay guys and they have a barbecue. It's a little bit different some Speedos and stuff if they have a pool in the backyard and in some interesting things going on So that might not feel be comfortable for you now. That's not everybody, but listen. I lived it. I was Adam It's a lot Going to a gay wedding. My answer is I don't know There's a lot more to that though. Should I go to a gay wedding? I don't know I say ask and pray and ask the Lord to show you are you gonna show him? Bring God more glory by going or not going and ask him my opinion is no My opinion is certainly no to the ceremony because you're coming into agreement With what these two people are doing coming together and so I asked I would have to ask you Where do you set your boundaries? And I know it's hard when it's your kid, but if your kid was Going to marry someone that was a wick in or believed in in Satanism and that's what their wedding was going to be Would you go to that? Like what are your boundaries? now when Again, this is my opinion and I've been asked and I always and I pray But every time I ask God when it comes to should I go to this reception because I won't go to the wedding or the ceremony Should I go to the reception? I always get the same answer from the Lord if I go. I'll be deceiving them. I Lived in deception for 36 years. I don't want to deceive anybody and So it's it's the conversations I've had to have both ends myself and the other people were weeping crying and it was it was like But look I know your ministry. I know what you do. I know what you believe you won't be deceiving me And this is what I say Two things are gonna this is going to affect our relationship Either way whether I go or whether I don't go but if I go I'm gonna be disobedient to God and It's gonna affect our relationship in a bad way because of my sin And I love you too much to let my sin my disobedience affect our relationship I would rather be obedient to God and Let him minister to you because he will whether you believe in him or not Let him minister to you and hopes that My being obedient to God and in waiting till afterwards and getting together with you guys after you come back from your honeymoon I'm willing to trust that God will do something within our Relationship that that will still be able to be together relationally and both times it has been that way You know last week I was cleaning out my office because they painted it and I found a Bible college book that I had and it was it said the complete guide to youth culture And that was from like the 1990s, so I threw it away So for those who don't know I've been the youth minister here at the high school for 22 years and Been in youth ministry even longer, so I've seen a lot of changes and With my age and stuff. I mean, you know Be honest, right? Some of us guys may be like if a guy looked at you you make a fist like bro Don't look at me, right? So then we become Christians were supposed to be loving so I guess the question is You you mentioned about like with a parent to to a teen Or to their child about making sure you're stoic and making sure you're relatable and listening But for all of us, I guess as believers our approach to loving sharing not showing hatred Discord whatever how would you direct us in that? I don't know if I'm fully understanding what you're so a Make it a short question because my brain stops after a couple too many words Drugs at 12 Not a lot there a lot of times the church is more like the Bible says so there Okay, so all truth and not enough grace So so Warren Wearsby says Lord help me to get this right Warren Wearsby says a truth Without grace without truth is hypocrisy truth wait truth without All right, you guys help me out Grace without truth is hypocrisy and truth without grace is brutality. Yeah truth without grace is brutality And grace without truth is hypocrisy. So we have to have a balance of both Jesus and John 1 14 is described as being full of Grace and truth and if Jesus you like this water this bottle can be filled with orange juice and filled with water It's impossible But Jesus was filled with both grace and truth and if he's filled with grace and truth Then we can be because we have the spirit of the living God in us and so I'm constantly Praying I even as he was asking that question I was praying and I prayed Lord will you give me every spiritual gift needed for this time? I said for this answer But will you give me every spiritual gift needed for this conversation for with this person in this moment? And I'm gonna do that if you guys stay and want to talk personally afterwards I'm gonna do that with each one of you that come up because I don't know Some people are gonna need a little more grace when we talk to them Some people it's gonna be grace grace grace grace grace grace truth Some people might have had 20 graces by the time they get to us So it might be grace truth truth truth Jude says some save with fear and some save with compassion We don't know so we have to pray and ask the Lord But it has to be a balance because we can't just throw truth bombs at people They don't know what to do with the truth when it's not doused in grace. Did you I didn't This question says I never thought about this Subject until recently because I raised my children As Christians until recently my six-year-old was watching some Disney episodes That shows two guys's dads and my daughter said to me see mom a guy can marry a guy I said no silly. I and so I explained God credit girls and boys An opposite sex I read them the Bible of pray devotions and so on but this they're showing more and more deceptive things How should I guide them outside of? What they read in the Bible and I'm praying and they're here at church and things take Disney out of your home. I mean we have if you're if your child was struggling with drugs you would and and you know you had a bowl full of Pills you would take that out of your home We I mean I Want I don't know what it's called whatever that thing the EMP or whatever that thing is where all the whole Internet thing gets shut down. You know what I retired with a pension from from the airlines I can't touch it until I'm 65, but I take every I would rather that happen and ever lose every single penny that I own Than to have kids have the access to the internet that they have now it is killing our kids There's a man named Brad huddleson. He's a friend of mine. Wait. We had him here didn't we? He wrote a book called digital cocaine amazing Amazing man amazing ministry amazing book, but go online YouTube friend him Brad huddleson and he will explain What this does to our brains? It's the same exact dopamine releases That happens with drugs and one thing he just I just watched one of his messages the other day I'm like whoa. This is good. He said do not reward your kids with internet time Because it's like saying listen Johnny if you're a good little boy or girl you get to do a lot of coke before We go out today Do not reward your kids With screen time This one says our daughter's 21 and living a gay lifestyle already So how do we minister to her now that she's 21 as an so she's already an adult and Living a lesbian lifestyle. So how do we do we share the Bible with her still? Do we just well if she was raised in your home and you've been a Christian for more than a couple of years you know then she knows who God is she knows the truth and You fast in pray you fast fast and well pray all the time But I would sincerely say fast once a week on behalf of your daughter second Samuel 14 14 be so second Samuel 14 14 the second half of that verse says yet God does not take away a life But he devises means so that his banished ones are not expelled from him And then if we look at Luke 15, which is the story of the prodigal we look at verse 14 of that it says Then the the son went off and did his thing it says and then there arose a severe famine in the land and He began to be in want who is sovereign God who brought the famine God He devised a means so that his banished one wasn't completely expelled from him and that kid came back to his father With open arms and daddy didn't ask any questions. He just received him and so Fast and pray and stay as involved in your daughter's life as you possibly can Go out to lunch do the things that that she enjoys if it's whatever she enjoys as a 21 year old Stay as involved as you can in her life and ask her how she's doing. You don't have to talk about her identity Ask her how she's doing at school. Ask her how she's doing at her job Ask her how she's doing with whatever she's in you know the thing. She's involved with she's way Way way more than her gay identity way more than that So you've had the conversation She knows the truth you're fasting and praying and we'll see God do a mighty mighty thing and pray scripture with her name in it I like to use Ephesians chapter 3 Verses 16 through 19 and Colossians chapter 1 Versus 9 through 11 and I'm actually gonna pray it now somebody give me a name Rihanna Lord we pray for Rihanna and crystal Lord God we ask that they would be filled with the knowledge of your will and all wisdom and spiritual Understanding we pray that Rihanna and crystal would walk worthy of you Lord and that they would fully please you Lord we pray that Rihanna and crystal would be fruitful in every good work and that they would increase in the knowledge of you Lord God Strengthen these two beautiful women with all of your might according to your glorious power for all patience and long suffering with joy That's what it sounds like and do the same thing with Ephesians chapter 3 verses 16 through 19 And however wherever else in the Bible the Lord leads you to pray With your child's name in there and listen the Lord will do it The Lord will do that remember what I said in the beginning the enemy can't take your life So he's gonna try to steal your hope Don't lose your hope because your kids will see that and if you lose hope in God then why should they believe a God in that? You're losing hope in You grow in your walk. You enjoy your walk with Jesus. Don't let your children's deception and sin of Lead you away from the Lord. It's going to affect every part of your life Yes, sin has tentacles that reach far and wide But don't let their identity steal your joy Let it take you deeper into your walk with God because he will do great and mighty things because he's a great and mighty God How would you handle the situation? If the child comes out and the parents disapproved and now the child does not want a relationship with those parents Well, I would have imagined the child is is out of the home and so I Guess you have to honor that as much as you can But if they still have you you know your your number if they haven't blocked you on on whatever Just you know say to them, you know, I'm I understand you don't want a relationship with us But I want to let you know We want a relationship with you and if you tell all your friends I'm not going to know but I'm going to let I'm telling you now if you tell all your friends that we've we've Kicked you to the curb that that we've were the ones that have suffered this relationship You're lying to your friends. Don't tell your friends that we didn't want relationship with you You need to tell your friends the truth that you didn't want relationship with us Because if you're not honest with your friends, then who are you? What kind of friendships do you have will always be here for you? Well, we want you back We want relationships with you and until you Block our number. I'm going to be sending you text messages every now and then just to let you know that we love you And if there's something that happens within our family That's devastating Please don't block me because I want you to know if one of us gets sick or you have a sibling that gets sick You're gonna need to know go live your life. Do what you want You have plenty of people that will accept you for who you are and where you are in the way that you feel like you need It or want it we accept you as our child. We love you as our child But we believe differently about your identity, but that doesn't change our love for you It just means we believe differently and if you cannot accept that then we pray that you will Eventually want to come back into our family because when you do we'll be here with open arms I'm gonna ask her two more questions and then we'll and she said she'll stick around but between the heat and I know a lot of You have questions for her so one Some of People saw your decal and they were asking how come it has the rainbow frat flag Um Well first off the rain. I wish it had the purple got cut off The LGBT rainbow flag is six colors and God's rainbow is seven Pride month is in the sixth month interesting The number of man is six the you know the number we associate with with the Jesus is is seven but I'm not gonna I'm not gonna Let people take away the beautiful colors of the rainbow I mean When we see a rainbow outside, does it make you think of your gay neighbor? Does it make you think of God? I? Mean I stand I Stand and I look at rainbows especially you guys don't get rainbows out here because you don't have any stinking rain But but on the East Coast we have them a lot and it's just is it it's just like oh Look at that look at that, but if you notice on my little sticker It's also the male and female symbol. It's the you know seven colors if the purple would it came out, but I Have a couple of them if you want to Grab one or whatever, but I'm just about run out, but I Love I love the rainbow. All right. We're not gonna get maybe another quick just real quick Got saved January 19th 2003 got baptized in August of that same year in New Jersey on the shore On the in the Atlantic Ocean happened to be a little bit of a cloudy day and a rainy day So so we were kind of like under this gazebo thing and and it was sprinkling a little and then we went walked down the beach Toward the water and as I was walking toward the water So like like so this this carpet is the sand and this is the ocean As I was walking in I looked up and from and like so here I was walking in right here and to end rainbow over the water as I was walking in to get baptized and the Lord just spoke to my heart. I've given you I've given you a new a new not a new rainbow, but that's what I heard I've given you a new rainbow because I was ready to have it like tatted all over me all my Flight my crew bags and stuff had rainbow stickers all over them and stuff So the Lord reminded me who he was on the day I got baptized There's so many and I apologize. There's so many deep heavy questions, but This is the last one thing before we close I'm gonna ask this question then when After she answers it. I'll close in prayer and then we'll hang out Go get your kids. Yes, please But we'll stay here Tomorrow night one of the questions was what's the age for tomorrow night? So it's junior high in high school and we're gonna be moving into the banquet hall tomorrow night So if your youth any junior high it's open to all junior high in high school In the banquet hall tomorrow night Josh and I'll be there with Patty and our leaders and all that and so that's tomorrow night Okay, and just a couple things that as I was praying for you guys today What the Lord knows your hearts and I don't these are just some of the things that I wrote down for today, but There's paperwork over on the counter over there that will give you ministries that will be helpful for you We have one of our ministry leaders here in whether she leads help for families, which is one of the most common places that I send people for but a Ministry that's new to me. I don't know how long it's been around but it's new to me like the past six or eight months is Axis a Xis and it's Amazing like there's a plethora of information there for parents with what your kids your Gen Z kids are Experiencing now, so make sure you pick up that For your kids find out what is the biggest lie there are believing right now and minister to that and This is huge. We need to prepare our kids for war Because we're millennials or older than my generation is the one starting this we've bubble wrapped our kids We have bubble wrapped our kids We've not prepared them for war and and so we need to do what it takes to make our children warriors No wimps. We need warriors. We need them to put on their spiritual armor every day They're getting blasted at school if they speak up at school. They get bullied. They get mocked. They get threatened Prepare your children for war Unbubble wrap them and prepare them for war Make sure you pour into your other kids if you have a gay identifying child. Please make sure you pour into your other kids Oftentimes I talked to siblings and they feel They feel neglected sometimes and very angry at their sibling because they're getting all the attention and We as the church we need to repent for our own sexual sin We know probably don't talk about it enough, but we know there's people in this room right now that watch porn There is there's probably a lot That are watching porn we need to repent of our sin the church lacks power because it lacks purity and so confess your sins Confess your sins one to another and pray for one another that you may be healed It says in James and if you need to do that do it tonight talk to your spouse about it tonight and then pray For your child that has experienced Maybe some of the demonic things that have come into your home because of your sexual sin. Well, that's a fun thing to end on All right, let's just pray and we'll be here Lord, we just thank you for Patty and her Testimony and Lord we thank you for your love your grace and mercy. We thank you that you forgive us of all sin Lord though we thank you for your word that says that you demonstrated your love for us while we were yet sinners Christ died and Lord, we thank you for hope. That's an anchor for our soul Lord, we pray for our our little ones. We pray for our teens. We pray for the adults that are being lied to Lord Even as Patty just mentioned even heterosexual adults that are living in sin Lord in the church we pray for repentance Lord, we pray for forgiveness and healing and moving forward Father for those who are struggling in same-sex attraction those who are struggling with their identity May they know that Lord they are fearfully and wonderfully made and may all Find hope in you and Jesus name. We pray amen. Let's thank Patty for coming out