 Hey, welcome to the Darren Marlar radio show. If you want to like me, poke me, tweet me, follow me, stalk me, well, you can find links to all of my social media at DarrenMarlar.com, that's D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R.com. Coming up on today's show, the quickest way to get rid of evidence when pulled over by the police, well, you eat it, of course. That is our brain-on-drug story coming up. These armed robbers do have a heart. In Connecticut, 33-year-old Juan Vega was just sentenced to 120 days in prison for murder. Just 120 days for murder. How does that make sense? That is our moment of duh today. Why do you get that chill down your spine whenever you hear a blood-curdling scream? I will tell you. And why do women apologize more than men? It may not be what you are thinking right now. I'll give you the answer to that coming up. And today's Weird Holidays, brought to you by the number one, the letter K and the color green. I'll explain about that up next. I'm Darren Marlar. By the way, yesterday I had this very strange experience. I ran out of deodorant yesterday, getting ready for the show. So I used my wife's deodorant, you know, strong enough for a man made for a woman. And it worked. You know, I'm fine. I'm dry. But when I got to the radio station parking lot, I discovered I have completely lost the ability to parallel park. Smokers miss an average of two or three more days of work each year than non-smokers, according to an analysis of 29 past studies. Based on that finding, absenteeism due to smoking costs employers billions of dollars each year. But, you know, when they're at work, they do tend to take more breaks in order to get a smoke. So, you know, it all works out, right? Wait, hold, no. Wait a minute. Scratch that. You'll be confident you're confident if you smoke, you're confident if you smoke, you'll be confident you're confident, weasin' pretty often, you'll be confident you're confident if you smoke. And that's all the words to this song that I wrote. Take a look at today's weird, wacky, strange, zany, odd, bizarre, quirky, unusual holidays. Today is Thursday, August 3rd, you have 143 shopping days until Christmas, and today is Watch Sesame Street with a Child Day. Yep, this holiday brought to you by the number one, the letter K and the color green. Today is Hammock Appreciation Day, you know, I've always wanted a hammock. There's just no room here in the on-air studio, but boy if there was. Today is National Watermelon Day, the U.S. Department of Agriculture says that cold watermelon is actually much less nutritious than room-temperature watermelon. The report came from the Office of the Undersecretary of Killing All Summertime Joy. And today is Lost Voyage Day, it was on this date in 1492 that Christopher Columbus set sail from Spain on a voyage that took him to the present-day Americas. Of course, he was truly looking for India, Christopher Columbus became an national hero because he got lost. Yep, that's right ladies, even back in 1492, men never stopped to ask for directions. Why is it that women apologize more than men? Well it may not be what you think it is, I'll have that story for you coming up here in just a bit. I'm Darren Marlar, if you miss any part of the show, you can catch up with me at DarrenMarlar.com. That's D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R.com. Well, just when you think people have just gone as far as possible in selling out Christianity, here comes Worship for Prizes! Yes, Las Ultimas Noticias reports that there was a Catholic church and a shopping mall in Santiago, Chile. The docker's clothing chain sponsored the installation of a sound system that detects the person in the church who is praying the loudest and that person wins a docker's discount coupon. Worshipers can also win free chocolate bars and McDonald's coupons for going to confession. Wow! The church slogan is Jesus Saves. And so will you at Garden View Mall! You're pretty far out there, even for the guys who do a lot of this stuff. Darren Marlar Radio Show. That's what I'm talking about. Are you talking to me? Got the birthday wrap up coming up here in just a bit. I'm Darren Marlar, and if you'd like to listen to past Darren Marlar radio shows, well, you can find them on my free mobile app. Just do a quick search for Marlar House in your phone app store. It's free. Well, women, they apologize more than men. A lot more. And it's not because women goof up more frequently or men are reluctant to admit that they're wrong. Nope. Instead, men, we just have a higher threshold for what we believe warrants humbling ourselves to say, I'm sorry. Researchers at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada, say that men aren't actively resisting apologizing because they think it'll make them appear weak or because they don't want to take responsibility for their actions. The study found that women apologized more and reported committing more offensive acts, but both men and women apologized about 81% of the time when they deemed their actions offensive. Are we sure that women don't apologize more just because they're wrong more often because that's what I've been telling my wife and it's been working so far? And now another useless fact. A toadstool is the spore-producing body of a fungus. Contrary to belief, only a few toadstools are poisonous, but after you learn that a toadstool is just a spore-producing fungus, you probably don't want to eat one anyway. It's the birthday wrap-up for Thursday, August 3rd, celebrating birthdays today. You might remember her as Virginia on the TV show Angel. She was also Vanessa on Over There. Brigid Conley Walsh is 45 today. From Platoon, Wall Street, Dr. Perry Cox on Scrubs, John C. McGinley is 58. Remember the old Dennis the Menace black-and-white TV show? Dennis the Menace himself, Jay North, is 66 today. Author-colonist TV host, white-collar felon Martha Stewart is 76. From the West Wing, Apocalypse Now, Spawn, Martin Sheen is 77 today. By the way, a quick note on Martin Sheen. He has played the President of the United States four times now. He played Jed Bartlett on West Wing, of course. He was also in the TV movie Medusa's Child as John F. Kennedy in the miniseries Kennedy – excuse me, he played John F. Kennedy in the miniseries Kennedy, that is. Also as the future president in a premonition, Greg Stiltson in the original Dead Zone movie. So it'll just take three seconds now for Martin Sheen to say, yeah, I'm just going to go ahead and run for president and get it over with. And celebrating a birthday today, Mrs. Freeman on Will and Grace, Bernadette Campbell on Moesha. No matter best, at least I do, as Harriet Winslow on Family Matters, Joe Marie Payton is 67. Why do we get that chill down our spine whenever we hear a blood-curdling scream? Well, I'll tell you in just a moment. Speaking of screams, if you like scary stuff, you might want to check out Weird Darkness. It's a YouTube show that I put together, I post it a couple of times a week. You can find it at DarrenMarlar.com. Well, a study from Brigham Young University showed that people are fairer and more generous when they are in clean-smelling environments. Participants, they engaged in two psychological experiments. Some worked in unscented rooms. Others worked in rooms freshly sprayed with citrus-scented Windex. And in both tests, the study found that clean scents, they led to more ethical behavior. I could even be that getting our kids to clean up their rooms might help them clean up their acts as well. For you parents out there, I'm not a parent, so for a more practical application for me on this study, I'm just going to wait and ask for a raise from the boss after the janitorial service has mop and glowed the program director's office. And then I'm going to ask. Well, I might not know how to tangle, but I know how to man-dance. The Darren Marlar. I think you're a little confused here. Bring it, meat. Radio show. In Connecticut, 33-year-old Juan Vega was just sentenced to 120 days in prison for murder. Yes. Only 120 days for murder? Well, if I tell you it's a moment of duh story, does that explain it? I'll give you that story coming up. I'm Darren Marlar, and you can hear past episodes of the Darren Marlar Radio Show anytime at DarrenMarlar.com. Well, when you hear a blood-curdling scream, your natural reaction is to just jump out of your skin, right? Well, why is that? Well, it's not the volume that spikes your adrenaline, but rather the frequency range that acts as a shrill alarm and it taps into your brain's natural fear response. I mean, just as parents of newborns, when a baby cries and really gets worked up, well, it is impossible to ignore that sound no matter how little sleep mom and dad have gotten. It's an efficient alarm signal. While studying found that the sounds that were higher in roughness, they were also perceived by the volunteers as being more frightening. And the brain that showed this to be true as well. OK, so big deal, right? Who cares? While the research, it could be used to make a mechanical alarm more effective, be it waking you up in the morning or warning you of a fire or other life-threatening hazard. And so that is the sounds could be designed to get your attention without being dangerously loud. Although, personally, I think, you know, just a blood-curdling scream coming out of your alarm clock in the morning that would probably get you out of bed quite effectively on its own. Hey there, I'm Darren Marlar. You know, sometimes armed robbers do have a heart. Police say an armed robber gave back everything he stole from a homeless man after learning that he lives at a shelter. The York Dispatch reported that Larry Sanderson, he was outside the York Rescue Mission when a man displayed the handle of a revolver and told him to empty his pockets. Well, the paper says Sanderson turned over his wallet, his cell phone, his MP3 player and his cigarettes. And when the armed man asked Sanderson if that's all he had, Sanderson explained that, yes, it is. He lives at the homeless shelter. Police say the robber then replied, I can respect that, returned the man's property and walked away. It must be true because I heard it on the radio. It must be true. It must be true. I'm Darren Marlar. Time for today's moment of duh. In Connecticut, 33-year-old Juan Vega, he was just sentenced to 120 days in prison for murder. Well, let me explain. The April incident began when Vega showed up unannounced at his girlfriend's home and a fight started. Police say he pushed the unidentified woman, kicked and broke a TV, gathered up his things and left. But after his departure, the victim found other damaged items throughout the home and officers spoke to her nine-year-old son, who told them Vega picked up the family's beta fish from its tank and sliced it in half. Yep. Vega was convicted for the murder of a fish. Vega later confessed to killing the fish, pleaded guilty to one count of second-degree breach of peace. He was sentenced to 120 days in prison. The prosecutor said the incident really did traumatize the nine-year-old. My next story is about a guy who is better than you. Don't believe me? Well, keep listening and you'll find out. Today's question impossible. Woodpecker scalps, porpoise teeth, giraffe tails. They've all been used as what? Again, woodpecker scalps, porpoise teeth, giraffe tails. They've all been used as what? I'll give you the answer to that coming up here in just a bit. I'm Darren Marlar. If you'd like a few more laughs, well, check out Darren Marlar.com and look for the Daily Dose of Weird News. Well, about 10 percent of the workers in Egypt on our under 12 years of age, believe it or not. Although laws protecting children are on the books, they're not very well enforced, partly because many poverty stricken parents, they feel forced to send their children out to help to to help support the family. On the plus side, though, sheep clothing for the USA. So you know what all works out? Thank you, everyone. This is the Darren Marlar radio show, the quickest way to get rid of evidence when pulled over by the police. Eat it, of course. Our brain on drug story is coming up. Hey, I would love for you to be a part of the Darren Marlar radio show. And all you have to do is send me an email. You can do that at Darren Marlar.com, D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R.com. Well, earlier this summer, Bill Fritch from the small Nebraska town of Culbertson, he participated in a triathlon, a personal goal that he set for himself a little over a year ago. Fritch swam 500 meters, he cycled 14 miles. He ran a 5K, which is 3.1 miles better than I can do. Bill's participation in this first triathlon at the age of 63. I mean, that's remarkable in itself. However, it's even more remarkable because a little over a year ago, Bill underwent quadruple bypass surgery. Well, now I feel like a lazy fat slob. Nonsense. Who says you can't eat the foods you want and still lose weight? Me. That's right. He's the fat smacker, the doctor who developed Fatwacker, but is now taking matters into his own hands. Say, for instance, you wanted to eat this candy bar. No. See, the fat smacker won't let you. He'll smack you. No. Oh, all right. All right. How about pizza? No. Ow. What about potato chips? No. Oh. How about cake? No. Ow. I don't really hurt. The fat smacker will give you that slim body. Ow. Get off me. Ow. The fat smacker. Ow. Ow. Stop. Cut it out. No. You're going to get fat. Ow. Get him today. Today's question impossible question again. Woodpecker scalps, porpoise teeth, and giraffe tails. They've all been used as what? Well, believe it or not, they've all been used as money. Aren't you glad things have changed? Hey, if you'd like to keep up with everything I do, you can sign up for the Marlar sheet. It's absolutely free, and you can do that at darrenmarlar.com. Time for today's Brain On Drugs story, the quickest way to get rid of evidence when pulled over by the police. Eat it, of course. Ebasier Parish, Louisiana Sheriff's Spokesman, said a man was booked with resisting an officer for allegedly eating marijuana after a deputy stopped his car for a loud exhaust. Sheriff's Spokesman Ed Baswell said a 24-year-old man seemed nervous when he was stopped. Baswell said the deputy smelled marijuana, searched the suspect's car, and found two bags holding a total of two grams of marijuana. That's less than a tenth of an ounce. Baswell said that the suspect apparently put an unknown amount of marijuana into his mouth just after he was stopped. The deputy saw marijuana on his lips, found that he had some in his mouth, and Baswell said the man was also booked with second offense marijuana possession and having a modified exhaust. It's the Darren Marlar Radio Show. If you want to follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Mines.com, YouTube, I've got links to all of those, at DarrenMarlar.com, if you're a social media freak like I am, I spend way too much time on social media. I'll just put it that way. DarrenMarlar.com, though, if you want to stalk me. Once an age-old riddle that has perplexed generations, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, now British scientists claim you'll finally come up with the definitive answer. Aren't you happy about that? You've been wondering it, haven't you? Okay, well, are you ready? Here's the answer. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Are you ready? Sit down. The chicken. Yes. Wow, aren't you glad you know? Boy, that's just a relief off the shoulders, isn't it? The scientific and philosophical mystery, it was reportedly unraveled by researchers at Sheffield and Warwick Universities. The scientists found that a protein found only in a chicken's ovaries is necessary for the formation of the egg. So the egg can therefore only exist if it has been created inside a chicken. So they next plan to tackle the age-old question of why the chicken crossed the road. Thanks a lot for joining me today on The Darren Marlar Radio Show. If you missed any part of it, well, you can catch the podcast. I upload it every night at midnight. Once the show is finally over, so you can catch today's podcast tomorrow. You can find it at DarrenMarlar.com. I had a blast. I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed listening to today's program, as much as I have enjoyed screwing it up. Good night, ladies. Hit it, sweetheart. ["The Darren Marlar Radio Show"] That's all, folks.