 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the Heart. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com, and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, are you experiencing dating burnout? Burnout. Really quickly, these are my weekend videos that I shoot out on my balcony. Very similar to the videos I shoot in my private group called Midlife Love Mastery, where you can have direct access to me on a daily basis through a private group that I've created. And actually, if you post a question in the group, I shoot a video specifically just for you. And there's a link below to my VIP group called Midlife Love Mastery. All right, let's talk about dating burnout. So I'll share with you something. These are more my personalized videos, and I'm sharing from my own personal experience. And this morning, I woke up and went to my, oh, my hair's, my bumble profile, if anyone knows about Bumble. Where's the app right here? The Bumble app. There you go. I don't know if you can see it anyway. Bumble is an app, is a dating app, where I'm sure most of you are familiar with dating apps, that if you see someone's profile that you like, you swipe right. And if two people swipe right, they match with each other, and it creates an opportunity to create a dialogue. So this morning, I went into the app, and I remembered getting a message from someone last night. And by the way, in the Bumble app, this is an app where women make the initial move. They write the first message. So I was about to respond to someone that had written me the day before, and I noticed the message was gone. I was like, oh, that kind of bums me out. I just got, it just left a little bit of bad taste in my mouth, because I wanted to respond back. And while I have no idea what happened, maybe she was talking to someone else. Maybe she just didn't like that I didn't respond in a timely manner. I mean, for whatever reason, and it just left, like I said, a bad taste in my mouth. And that's just one example of leaving a bad taste in one's mouth. I've had situations where I've been ghosted by people. I'm sure this has happened to you. I've had situations where there's been contention between another person. I'm sure this has happened to you. I'm sure there's been situations. I know it's happened for me where I like someone and they weren't into me. So, and what happens after a period of time? Shoot, I just spit. After a period of time, we can feel burnt out on the whole dating process. I don't believe humans were designed to experience this much, this level of dating. And what I mean by dating, what I mean is this much interaction with people over and over and over and over again, and having it just be one experience that ends. And I don't wanna use the word fail. I was gonna say the word fail, but one experience that ends, another experience that ends, and another experience that ends. And these are the short-lived experiences. I'm not talking about, you know what I mean, you can feel dating burnt out when you've been in a four, five, or six month relationship and it goes nowhere. So this is what we're faced with, right? This is the reality we live in. We no longer live in tribes where the person that we're most likely going to be mated with is someone we know, they know our family, they know our friends and such, whether it's a tribe, a town, work environment, that sort of thing, because these days we're literally meeting strangers. And the challenge with strangers is that we haven't developed the roots of trust to actually start leaning in to getting to know one another. And this is why I'm such a, I have such issues with the whole fantasy that men are in charge and they're leaders and they're just gonna be chivalrous and claim you. Yeah, that happens 10% of the time. The other 90% of people dating are all over the map because of childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas and experiences. And what I mean by adult trauma is divorce is an adult trauma, job loss is adult trauma, aging is an adult trauma. And so when we don't address these wounds and traumas, it can make the dating process very chaotic. So that's part of the reason why it's so frustrating to date is because people are all over the map and the fantasy of the white knight and the prince charming and such isn't really true. I don't consider myself any of those. I consider myself a human being who's riddled with flaws and that's doing the best they can. Let me repeat that. I'm a human being riddled with flaws that's doing the best they can, just like you. This is why I'm such an advocate of being a part of the self-love club. And self-love is nurturing that little kid inside of you that's burnt out and says, I'm tired of this. Why can't I just meet my prince or princess charming? Why can't it just be easy? That's our little kid screaming. This is why first and foremost, how to overcome the burnout is to have compassion for oneself, compassion for oneself. This is why I wrote my book, What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway. By the way, I have a, my nose is running. What the heck is self-love anyway? And the invitation for everyone is to begin to work on oneself because how do we overcome burnout is not giving up on the process. Let me repeat that. Giving up on the process means you're giving up on finding a mate and I'm here to encourage you to be perseverant in finding your meat, to be demonstrative, to be effusive, to be intentional, to be purposeful. And to get there, it's going to require this one big thing to overcome the burnout. And that is I want to introduce you to a new book called Self-Compassion. Self-Compassion and the proven power of being kind to yourself. Self-Compassion. Why am I introducing this book? Because when we have compassion for ourselves, when we take care of the little kid inside of ourselves, we can move away from the whole process of being bad and the way from the whole, from the perception that all people are bad and people are worthless and that sort of thing because the reality is is there's just, there are a lot, a lot, a lot of good people out there. It's just, as I always say, a lot of good men out there, they're just bad daters and what that means is their communication skills are weak just like women's communication skills are weak. This is equal, okay? Men and women alike, this the vast majority of the population have weak skills and haven't overcome, haven't really addressed their traumas and such to be able to create the foundation to build a healthy, happy relationship. So the burnout, so when we build a strong foundation of self-love, we can approach the process without, hey, look it, yeah, did I feel a little slighted when that woman deleted it? Yeah, I felt it for a second. I'm gonna move on because you know what? I'm gonna be perseverant in finding my life mate and that's my invitation for you. Be part of the self-love club, be perseverant and don't allow bad experiences or unhappy experience to dictate your future because there's no value in doing that. All right, I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Please post a comment below if this resonated with you. If you have something to add, I'd like to hear about it. As always, I'm gonna wrap up my videos the way, I always do, is first I've given myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear or a pillow and give it and them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch, bye-bye now.