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Published on Nov 1, 2012
HD and please, I know that the quality of some of the clips are horrible anyway. They're old.
This audio feels like it's coming right out of my diary. This is not one of the usual "I miss you"-videos of C. This one is so frustrated. Cause this is what I've been dealing with since December 13th 2010. People don't really want to talk about C cause they think that I'm gonna have a breakdown. I had them in the beginning. I hated going to my club cause I knew that I would get smiles out of pity. And I think that I needed to talk about it so desperatly. But people didn't know what to do or what to say. So I bottled everything inside. I still do. I barely talk about him. Smile sometimes when I think of him. Laugh at the memories. But then I start to think of how much he meant to me and I feel like giving up. It's probably too late to talk about it now, the damage is done. I'm special like that. I wish that I would have done things differently though. I would have loved him better.
It sucks. The fact that he's gone. Cause I'm still not 100% sure how to let go of him. I love you. Forever.